Equestria Girls 2: Electric Boogalooby arglefumphChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 1Equestria Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo Vodka. That's what the official police report said. Someone slipped huge amounts of vodka into the punch bowl, during Canterlot High's Fall Formal. As a result, most of the students got ridiculously drunk and started seeing things. The most common hallucination revolved around Sunset Shimmer. Students said that Sunset turned into a fearsome dragon creature. She turned everyone into her zombie slaves and destroyed the school's entrance, until she was stopped by a talking dog and a group of half-human, half-pony warriors. Clearly, vodka was responsible for these delusions. Mind-altering drugs may have been involved, too. After the police report was filed, Principal Celestia required all the students to attend substance abuse classes. Everyone thought that would be the end of the story, but they were wrong. They were very, very wrong. You see, with all the talk about magical portals and pony adventures and dragon-led zombie hordes, two very important people were overlooked. The first was Twilight Sparkle's human counterpart, who lived in the city. The second was Sunset Shimmer's human counterpart. Yes, of course Sunset Shimmer has a human counterpart. Every pony in Equestria has a human counterpart. Well, every pony besides Princess Cadance. For some reason, her counterpart in Canterlot High is a fire hydrant. No one knows why. The pony Sunset Shimmer was hit with the Elements of Harmony, and she immediately was turned into a crying, remorseful teenager. But the human version of Sunset Shimmer? She never went through such a convenient reformation. She was still in the human world, and she was very, very angry. We'll check in on Human Twilight and Human Sunset later on. For now, our story begins with Canterlot High's five best friends, who were getting ready to attend their substance abuse class. "Can you believe it's been almost a month since the Fall Formal?" Rarity asked. "And Sunset Shimmer hasn't done a single mean thing in all that time! I think she's truly reformed!" "I agree," Applejack said. "I like her much better as a friend than an enemy." "Sunset is nice, but...I miss Twilight," Fluttershy said softly. "Yeah, I know what you mean," Rainbow Dash said. "Personally, I miss those wings I got during the dance. Flying was awesome! Too bad it was only temporary." Pinkie Pie scratched her head. "Temporary? Didn't Twilight say the portal automatically opens and closes?" "Yeah, once every thirty months," Applejack said. "That's why she was so worried about not gettin' back home in time." Pinkie wracked her sugar-addled brain. Something seemed off about her friends' statements, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Pinkie liked to think of herself as an amazing detective, so she decided to research the mysterious portal to Equestria. She looked up "portal" on the Internet, and she immediately got distracted playing videogames. Eventually, she got kicked out of the school library by Cheerilee. While Pinkie was getting chewed out by Cheerilee, she was able to get a quick look at the list of books that were checked out. These books included a number of interesting reads, such as Mystery Pony Portals and How to Use Them, Meeting Your Equine-Based Doppleganger and Advanced Underwater Basket Weaving. Pinkie's attention was immediately drawn to a pop-up book entitled That's Enough out of You, Luna! TO THE MOOOOOOOON!. And thus, Pinkie's investigation took a serious turn, as she burst into the administrative offices without permission. "Hi, Vice-Principal Luna!" Pinkie shouted. Vice-Principal Luna, who had been reviewing school policies in other countries, sighed loudly. "Pinkie," the older woman said. "What are you doing here? Did you break one of the basketball nets again?" "The librarian said you have a book on astronomy," Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "I was wondering if I could borrow it." "Ah, yes," Luna said. "I trust you want to learn more about the full moon tomorrow?" "There's a full moon tomorrow?" Pinkie Pie asked. "There's one every month," the dark and gloomy vice-principal said. "The moon stays full for three days when that happens." "I didn't think astronomy worked like that," Pinke said. Vice-Principal Luna shrugged. "If I could control the moon, I would have a full moon every night. They're so beautiful... " At this, Pinkie went wild and lost her mind; she took this game into overtime. The pony portal opened regularly...the full moon appeared regularly...the two had to be connected somehow! "Being in charge of discipline at Canterlot High, the only kind of moon I see is...never mind," Luna said, shaking her head. She handed over the pop-up book on astronomy to Pinkie Pie. "You can borrow this, but make sure to return it to the library on time." "Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie said. Holding the book triumphantly over her head, Pinkie knew the answer to all of her questions was not far off! Ten minutes later, Pinkie slumped down in the corner near her locker. "I don't understand, Gummy," Pinkie said to the green creature in her hand. "How can I solve this mystery?" Gummy appeared to make no response. "Maybe I'm not such a good detective..." Pinkie pouted. "But if I don't solve the mystery, we'll never see Twilight again! That's horrible!" Again, the green Gummy did nothing. Pinkie reacted as if he had given a passionate speech, however. "That's it, Gummy!" Pinkie said. "Why didn't you say that sooner? I'll just check the portal every day until it works!" Pinkie hugged Gummy, which left nasty green slime all over her cheek. Rarity, who happened to be walking down the hallway at the time, stopped and gasped. "EW!" Rarity shouted. "Is that used gum?" Pinkie Pie shoved the large green gum creature into her locker. "It's Gummy!" she said. "Mom wouldn't let me get a real alligator, you know!" Pinkie and Rarity argued for a bit about whether or not Gummy was disgusting, and Pinkie ran away crying because Gummy was the only boy in school who legitimately liked her for who she was. All the other boys only liked her for her parties! Pinkie hadn't thought about running away from her life before, but she was sure thinking it now! The magical pony portal was the perfect way to avoid the stress of high school. She jogged straight towards the pony statue in front of Canterlot High and painfully smashed against it. "Oh...right...the portal was on the back side of the statue," Pinkie remembered. She walked around the statue and cautiously put her hand against the stone. Her hand slid right through the stone, like magic. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Pinkie said. She tentatively put a foot inside the portal, and when she didn't die instantly, she dove right inside. The world around Pinkie changed, and she felt like she was being dragged through a whirlwind of pizza, coffee and sleepless nights. In other words, it felt like finals week. The weird sensations ended, and Pinkie found herself on all fours, inside a mostly-empty room. Pinkie's first reaction—don't ask me why—was to wiggle her bottom from left to right, so her tail would bounce around. "I'M A PONY!" Pinkie shouted. "My life is finally complete!" Pinkie's new body instinctively snorted, then whinnied. This caused her to trip over her hooves and smack her snout on the floor. "Ow." Pinkie sang to herself as she danced through the crystal hallways. Doo de doo de doo Electric Boogaloo Pinkie Pinkie Pie Is a pony now! Everything in the pony universe was so pretty and shiny! It was a beautiful place, filled with so many wonders, casting a spell that she was now under. The only problem was that there were no other ponies around! Pinkie had apparently arrived in a forgotten room in an unknown castle. She tried looking out a window, but all she could see were mountains in the distance. BORING! After some wandering, Pinkie saw a guidepost which pointed towards several locations, including the throne room. Pinkie gasped. "That must be where Twilight is! She's the pony princess!" Pinkie waggled her ears and danced her way to the throne room. "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shouted loudly. Pinkie immediately found six spears, pointed directly at her face. They were being held by a group of angry-looking guards. Pinkie had no idea how they could hold spears without fingers, but this didn't seem like a good time to ask. Things escalated quickly, when Shining Armor received a reply from his sister. Dear BBBFF, The instant I got your letter, I ran to double-check that Pinkie Pie is still here in Ponyville. I found her working in the bakery, as usual. So unless you've found one of Pinkie's mirror pool clones, the Pinkie Pie who's with you must be a— "CHANGLING!" Shining Armor shouted. "Send her to the dungeons!" "I'm not a chain link!" Pinkie Pie protested, as the royal guards tackled her and covered her with chains. "I'm not any type of fence!" "There will be no mercy for you, minion of Chrysalis!" Shining Armor said, slamming his hooves on the ground. "Let the foul creature starve to death!" "This is all a huge misunderstanding!" Pinkie said. "I'm not really a pony! I just wanted to find a cute cowboy boyfriend!" "She admits she's not a pony?" Princess Cadance gasped. "Then she must be a changling!" "No, I'm a hu—" Pinkie said. She was cut off in mid-sentence, when one of the ponies knocked her unconscious. Chapter 2Earlier, I said that we'd check in on Human Twilight and Human Sunset. The two of them did not attend Canterlot High School. They both tested out of high school and got into college a year early. As luck would have it, they were roommates. Needless to say, they wanted to kill each other after the first week. This particular day, Sunset Shimmer was furious because Twilight accidentally left a box of feminine hygiene products on her roommate's bed. "ARGH!" Sunset shouted. "You're always leaving your stuff in my part of the room!" "So?" Twilight asked. "It's GROSS!" Sunset said, throwing the hygiene products at Twilight. "I told you to stop messing with things on my side of the room!" "Get over it!" Twilight said. "God, you're such a whiny brat! No wonder you don't have any friends!" "You don't have friends either, you worthless snot-faced introvert!" Sunset said. "I'm not introverted!" Twilight said. "I just don't care what other people think about me. It's better than you, Miss I Google Myself On a Daily Basis!" "It's better than the search results that pop up when I look for your name, Twilight Sparkle!" "I like the Twilight series!" Twilight shouted. "You have no idea what true romance is like!" Sunset Shimmer shouted. "That's why you ruined things between me and Shining Armor!" "You're a pervert for hitting on my brother!" Twilight said. "What? You hit on my mother!" Sunset said. "How many times do I have to tell you? I thought she was a guy!" The two of them argued in this vein for some time, until Sunset dumped the box of feminine hygiene products upside-down on Twilight's head. Twilight ran away crying, and Sunset smiled triumphantly. Sunset jumped on her bed and turned on her laptop. On a whim, Sunset decided to Google herself, like Twilight suggested. The first search result was more than a little surprising. Sunset Shimmer Destroys Fall Formal at Canterlot High "What the—?" Sunset asked. In the pony universe, inside the Crystal Palace Dungeons, Human Pinkie Pie sang a sad melody. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows my sorrow Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows but Jesus. "What's a 'Jesus'?" one of the pony guards asked. "I have no idea," his partner said. Not long afterwards, the main door to the dungeons opened and in walked Flash Sentry, the local captain of the guards. He waved the other guards aside as he approached Pinkie's cell. "All right, Changling!" Flash shouted. "I'm here to get information out of you, so you'd better cooperate!" "My name isn't Changling! It's Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said. "And I'm tired of being a pony! I wanna go back home, where I have my normal body!" Flash shook his head. This particular changling was doing a horrible job of pretending to be another species. "Are you planning on invading the Crystal Empire?" Flash asked. "Where's Queen Chrysalis?" "I don't know!" Pinkie said. "I'm telling the truth, Flash! You have to believe me!" Flash paused. "How do you know my name?" he asked. "Well, duh, you're obviously Flash Sentry," Pinkie asked. "The blue-haired guy with the crush on Twilight." Flash blushed almost immediately. "I...I don't have a crush on Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie smiled at his shyness. "There's no use pretending, Brad! I saw you dancing with her at the Fall Formal!" "Brad?" Flash asked. "That's your nickname in the human world," Pinkie said. "Where we live, the word 'flash' means...um, never mind what it means. The important thing is that Twilight Sparkle is one of my best friends." "What does that have to do with anything?" Flash asked. "Let me out of here, and I'll totally help you date her," Pinkie said. "What do you say, Brad?" Flash narrowed his eyes dramatically, as he considered the offer. On one hoof, he could be dooming his entire species to a slow, painful death. On the other hoof, Princess Twilight Sparkle was really cute. Flash held out his hoof. "Deal," he said. Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle looked at the front entrance to Canterlot High School. It seemed that the news reports were true. Even after a month of repairs, the building's entrance was completely trashed. "Wow," Sunset said. "This place looks awful." "Yeah," Twilight said. "Your evil twin really did a number on this place." "Yeah, well, your evil twin apparently saved this place by turning into a flying pony," Sunset Shimmer said. "Come on, let's go inside and investigate." "Sure," Twilight said. "Come on, Spike." Twilight tugged on the leash connected to her pet dog, Spike. Spike was busy relieving himself on a nearby pink fire hydrant, but he obediently walked next to Twilight once he felt the tug. The two roommates did not get very far, because the school hallways were crowded. Some of the passing students stopped to look at them. "Isn't that Twilight Sparkle?" "Behold! The pony princess has returned!" "No, that was a hallucination! It wasn't real! It wasn't real!" "They recognize us," Sunset muttered to Twilight. "Is this good or bad?" "Hopefully, it's good," Twilight said. "They can tell us what happened here last month." The word about Twilight's return to school spread quickly throughout the hallways. In fact, #TwilightSparkleIsBack momentarily trended on Twitter. Twitter immediately returned to its normal trending phrases, #CorporateSponsoredItem and #SexualTopic. No one was happier to hear about Twilight's return than her romantic interest, Flash Sentry. He ran down the hallways until he found her and once again held her in his arms. "Twilight! You're back from the Pony World!" Flash said. "Um...who are you?" Twilight asked. "God, I missed you so much!" Flash said. "I thought I'd never see you again, and—" The boy unexpectedly grabbed Twilight's face and kissed her passionately. Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but she didn't break off the kiss. "Ugh," Sunset Shimmer said. "Never thought I'd see my roommate get kissed by anyone besides Spike." Spike the Dog barked happily and wagged his tail. "Duuude," one of the nearby students said to Sunset. "It's makeout day today? Cool! Wanna go?" "Excuse me?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "DUde, you're hot," the student said. "That leather jacket is nice! Bet you'd look nicer without it, though..." Sunset Shimmer punched him in the face so hard that two of his teeth were knocked out. "You scum-sucking pervert!" she said. "Run away before I castrate your stupid—" Sunset's violence caught the attention of a brave, peace-loving student. "Hey! You can't talk to him like that!" "I'll talk to him however I want!" Sunset said, turning around. The frown on her face was replaced with a gasp, when she found herself staring into the face of her pony twin. A proud purple pony princess stepped onto the crystal floor of the throne room, with an angry look on her face. "Twilight!" Shining Armor said. "I didn't think you'd get here so fast!" "Hello, Big Brother," Twilight said. "I came as soon as I heard about the changeling. Where is it?" "It's in the dungeons," Shining said. "Flash Sentry is interrogating it, now. If the changelings are planning to invade Equestria, we'll know it soon." "Flash Sentry?" Twilight asked. "You know, your boyfriend!" Princess Cadance teased. "WHA-WHA-WHA-HUMMINA-HUMMINA-CHOO-CHOO-TRAIN-WHAAA AAT?" Shining Armor shouted. Cadance giggled. "As Prince of the Crystal Empire, I declare that it is illegal for any pony to have a romantic interest in my little sister," Shining Armor said. "I can do that, right?" Twilight wisely decided to leave the throne room. She made her way downstairs, just in time to see Flash Sentry lead Pinkie Pie out of the dungeons. "What are you doing?" Twilight asked. The two ponies froze immediately, as they were caught. "Princess Twilight!" Flash said. "I, um...I was taking the prisoner out for a walk!" "I thought you were letting me escape!"Pinkie Pie said. "I—no, I—but—" "I need to talk to the changling, alone!" Twilight snapped. "Um, yes, Your Highness!" Flash said, saluting. He opened the door to the dungeons and let Pinkie Pie go inside with Twilight. As soon as the door was shut, Twilight slapped Pinkie Pie. "What are you thinking, you idiot?!" she shouted. "You almost ruined our invasion plan!" "Our invasion plan?" Pinkie Pie asked. Twilight closed her eyes and transformed back into her real body, that of Queen Chrysalis. "You know I can only change into alicorns! Using Twilight Sparkle's form is the only way I can conquer the Crystal Empire! With the love magic that emanates from the Crystal Heart, we can feast here forever!" "Duh.......what?" Pinkie asked. This day kept getting weirder and weirder for her. Chapter 3Principal Celestia was on the phone, convincing someone to donate money to Canterlot High. She and her sister were very good at getting donations for the school; it was thanks to her and Luna that Canterlot High was so well-endowed. Needless to say, she was unhappy when her important phone call was interrupted with pony nonsense. The three students in front of her were giving her a minor headache. "But we finally have proof of what happened last month!" Pony Sunset Shimmer said. "That means you can take away my punishment!" "The police said it was vodka," Principal Celestia said calmly. "That's what happened. Not some otherworldly pony antics." "Vodka doesn't explain my human counterpart!" Sunset said, gesturing wildly to the other Sunset Shimmer. Human Sunset Shimmer scrunched up her face. "Are you seriously saying that you're a pony?" she asked. "YES!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I used to go to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns! I left through the portal when she wouldn't let me into Advanced Transforming a semester ahead of time!" "Yeah...I think I'll agree with the pasty white woman," Human Sunset said. "You've been drinking too much vodka." "Duly noted," Principal Celestia said. "After this meeting, please go to Vice-Principal Luna for a sobriety test and drug screening." "I don't believe in this pony nonsense, either," Twilight Sparkle said. "But I still would like an explanation for why someone impersonated me last month." "Twilight disappeared after she was crowned Princess of the Fall Formal," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, when we checked the school records, we couldn't find her in there. It's as if she appeared out of nowhere, attended school for three days, then disappeared." "Maybe you've got a freaky lookalike, just like I do," Sunset Shimmer said. "I told you, we look like twins because I'm your duplicate from Equestria!" Pony Sunset said. "I just prefer being in high school to being a respected member of Celestia's court!" "The only court you find me in is the basketball court," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, I think basketball is a lot like your pony world. When I'm busy making slam dunks, I sometimes find myself wishing that there was a sports bra as comfortable as my underwire. But just because I want something a lot, that doesn't mean it exists." Pony Sunset's eyes saddened. "You're saying that you don't believe in the pony world." "It was vodka, Miss Shimmer," Principal Celestia. "I would appreciate it if you—" Celestia paused and looked down. A small purple dog was doing something inappropriate to one of the legs of her desk. "Whose dog is this?" she asked. "Um, that's my dog, Spike," Twilight said, blushing. She yanked on Spike's leash. "He...I still have to have him neutered." "Dogs are not allowed on school property," Principal Celestia said. She bent her freakishly long legs and picked Spike up off of the ground. "I'm afraid I'll have to send him to the animal shelter." "But—!" "You can pick him up after school," Principal Celestia said. "Now if you three will excuse me, I have important business to do." "I am not a changeling, and I am not a pony!" Pinkie Pie said, for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm not an animal! I am a human being!" Queen Chrysalis frowned. "What is a human?" she asked. "They're creatures that walk on two legs and always wear boots," Pinkie explained. "We don't have tails or snouts, but we have fingers and toes! In my world, animals don't talk!" Chrysalis held her hoof against Pinkie's forehead. "Hmmmm...you don't feel like you have a fever...Did you bump your head, my minion?" "Get away from me, Bug Pony!" Pinkie said. "I'm not trusting a weird hole-leg thingy like you!" Chrysalis snarled. "Why does everypony make a huge deal about the holes in my legs?" she asked. "It's not my fault they look this way! I just had an accident when I was getting my ears pierced!" "The point is that I wanna go home!" Pinkie said. "I want to go back to my world, where everything is normal, and there are no magical ponies anywhere!" "A world without magical defenses?" Queen Chrysalis asked. "Hmmm...is there a lot of love in your world?" Pinkie frowned and went on a long rant about the nature of love. In her opinion, nobody at Canterlot High knew a single thing about love. All they knew about love came from unrealistic movies and TV shows. Why, there was one movie where a girl—let's call her "Spilight Twarkle"—bumped into a random guy three times. Poof! That meant they were "in love", and so they danced together at Prom and made out by the punch table for thirty minutes. "And did you see that TV show, with the two-part wedding episode?" Pinkie asked. "This guy's fiancee is kidnapped and replaced with someone completely different. He cheats on her for weeks, without noticing anything is wrong! And there are no negative consequences whatsoever! His fiancee doesn't get mad at him at all when she comes back, because of true love. More like true stupidity!" Queen Chrysalis bit her lip. That story sounded oddly familiar. "It sounds like this 'high school' of which you speak is overrun with teenage emotions," Chrysalis said, thinking quickly. "I'm dreadfully sorry that you were accidentally imprisoned. If you want, I can take you back to your world." "Great!" Pinkie said. Then she paused for a second. "Heeeey, you're not thinking about taking over my world and feeding on everyone's intangible emotions in some unspecified manner, are you?" "Of course not," Chrysalis lied. "That's a relief!" Pinkie said. Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer stared at the backside of the Canterlot High statue. This was the grand, majestic portal to Equestria. "It's a horse's butt," Twilight said bluntly. "I think they said the portal is in the base of the statue," Sunset said. "Yeah, right!" Twilight said. "Like I can place my hand against solid rock, and it magically turns into—WOAH!" Twilight tried to lean against the statue's base, and she fell forward into it. Sunset Shimmer leaped forward to grab Twilight's hand, but Twilight was unexpectedly heavy. Sunset Shimmer was pulled downwards, and the two of them tumbled through the portal. "OW! What the buck, Twi?" "Get off me, you fat cow! I've had enough of your manure for one day!" The two girls didn't have time to wonder why their swear words had turned into pony-related puns. They were struggling to disentangle themselves, using body parts and muscles they did not have previously. Sunset was able to back away, once she got her hoof free from one of Twilight's wings. Sunset Shimmer looked at Twilight. Twilight looked at her. "It's real," Twilight said, amazed. "There really is a portal to a pony world." "...Why are we naked now?" Sunset Shimmer asked. It was one sentence Sunset had hoped to never say to her roommate. Chapter 4"Now, I need you to be very specific," Queen Chrysalis said. "Where is the portal to the human world?" "It's a mirror inside the Plot Device Room!" Human Pinkie Pie said. "I saw the sign on the door when I left it!" "Convenient!" Chrysalis said. "Yeah, it was in the Hall of Convenience!" Pinkie said. "It's to the left of the Crystal Ballroom, but to the right of the Crystal Bathroom. Just make sure to avoid going in the other room with the word 'plot' on the door! That room was nasty!" Chrysalis turned herself back into Twilight Sparkle and smiled. "Thank you for your help, foolish human! If all your kind is like you, conquering this world should be a breeze!" "What?" Pinkie asked. Chrysalis magically opened the door to the dungeons and started to leave as guards entered. Pinkie's eyes went wide with shock. "Hey, you said you were going to take me with you!" Chrysalis chuckled evilly. "Guards, I fear that the prisoner is delusional!" she said. "You'd better lock it up securely, where nopony can hear her." "Yes, Princess Twilight Sparkle!" the guards said, saluting. "WORST! DAY! EVER!" Pinkie Pie shouted, grabbing her hair in a distressed fashion. In the human world, school was over for the day. Rainbow Dash stopped by Fluttershy's locker. "Did you hear the rumors, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Twilight Sparkle is back from Ponyland!" "Oh, my! I didn't hear that!" Fluttershy said. "Where is she?" "I dunno," Rainbow Dash said. "People saw her for a bit, then she disappeared. The other girls and I are gonna go look for her." "I'll help you!" Fluttershy volunteered. "I just need to stop by the animal shelter first. I heard that someone's dog got left there today." "You and your animals," Rainbow Dash said, smiling. "Just text me when you're done, okay? Oh, and text me if you hear from Pinkie. No one's seen her in a while." Fluttershy hummed a catchy tune as she went to the Canterlot High Animal Shelter, which doubled as the Canterlot High Lost and Found Box. A small purple dog was there, and it was trying to kill a stuffed animal shaped like a pony. "SPIKE?" Fluttershy asked. The dog turned to Fluttershy and barked. "Oh my gosh, it is you!" Fluttershy said, picking him up. "What's happening? Where's Twilight?" Spike licked her face. "Um...I'm glad to see you, too," Fluttershy said. "But I know you can talk, so you don't have to pretend you don't." Spike barked again. "Um...Spike?" Fluttershy asked. Spike started drooling. "Oh my gosh! He's a real dog now!" Human Twilight Sparkle and Human Sunset Shimmer were examining their new pony bodies. "This is so weird," Twilight Sparkle said. "Maybe that freakishly pale woman with the ugly pantsuit was right," Sunset Shimmer said. "We got drunk on vodka." "What are these horns for? Sword fighting?" "Who knows?" Sunset asked. "Why do you have wings, when I don't?" "The reason she has wings is because she's a princess," a voice said. The two roommates turned to the doorway to the room, which they hadn't noticed because they were too preoccupied. A duplicate version of Twilight Sparkle was standing there, and after a few seconds, she morphed into a large black pony with holes in her legs. "Allow me to introduce myself, humans," the pony said. "I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Changelings. I have come here to conquer the Crystal Empire." "The what now?" "Crystal something." "Crystal meth? Is that why everyone hallucinates and thinks that they're ponies?" "The Crystal Empire!" Queen Chrysalis said. "But now that I see the rumors about the human world are true, I have a new plan! I will conquer the human world, build up an army of human teenagers, then bring them here to conquer Equestria! I will be the ruler of both worlds! HA HA HA HA HA!" Twilight sat down on her rump. The entire situation was too much for her to handle. Being turned into a pony was bad enough, but meeting a universe-conquering maniac in under a minute was bordering on ridiculous. Fortunately, Human Sunset Shimmer was slightly evil herself, and she was not off-put by the villain. She considered Chrysalis' plan for a moment, then spoke. "That's the stupidest things I've ever heard of," Sunset Shimmer said. "WHAT?" Chrysalis yelled. "That evil plan has more holes than your legs," Sunset said. "You can't conquer the human world! You don't know the first thing about it! They'll squash you like a bug!" "Do you think you can stop me?" Chrysalis asked. "No, I can help you," Sunset Shimmer said. She smiled evilly. "We'll help you conquer this Crystal Empire, but in return, you have to give the Human World to us." Chrysalis thought about it for a moment, and she decided the humans could be useful before she betrayed them. "I accept your offer, Human," she said. "With our combined forces, victory is inevitable!" "What are you doing?" Twilight whispered. "You can't trust supervillains!" "Don't worry," Sunset whispered back. "If it works, we'll have everything we ever dreamed of. And if it doesn't work, we can throw Queen Crappiness under the bus." Queen Chrysalis noticed their whispering, but she didn't care. She was too busy thinking up new lyrics, to a song about her new evil plan. What rhymes well with "human"? Five minutes later, Sunset Shimmer and Queen Chrysalis left the Crystal Palace. Chrysalis was back in her disguise as Twilight Sparkle. "So what's the story behind the crystal ponies?" Sunset asked. "They're made out of crystal? How does that work?" "Crystals have pointy edges," Chrysalis said. "That's what makes the Crystal Empire such a fearsome adversary!" "Couldn't you, like, smash them with a hammer or something?" "I...I never thought of that," Chrysalis said. "I was more focused on the Crystal Kingdom Anthem, which I learned in a day." A flugelhorn sounded, and a troop of Crystal Soldiers passed by. They were carrying their flag of many hues—purple and white—while singing the Crystal Kingdom Anthem. We are the Crystal Empire We are easily defeated Just steal our Crystal Heart And our armies fall apart Chrysalis and Sunset walked to the magical crystal heart. Despite being the only weakness of the city, it was completely unguarded. Sunset reached up and grabbed it. "Hey, what are you doing with the Crystal Heart?" a passer-by asked. "Um...we need to take it in to get polished," Sunset said. "Oh, okay," the crystal pony said. Sunset put the Crystal Heart on the ground and hesitated. "How do I walk while holding this thing?" she asked. "I'll do it," Chrysalis said. She cast a magic glow around the Crystal Heart, holding it in the air. "Unicorns have the power to levitate things." "Sweet," Sunset said. "I gotta figure out how to do that." The two of them walked away. As soon as the Crystal Heart was away from the base of the tower, the Crystal Empire's shield instantly shattered. All the crystal ponies became sad and depressed. The depression quickly turned to fear as a huge swarm of Changelings flew in and attacked the crystal ponies. The attack was very threatening, even if they didn't actually hurt any ponies. While Sunset Shimmer and Queen Chrysalis performed their nefarious task, Human Twilight Sparkle was given the mission of distracting the royals. She walked into the Royal Throne Room, where a white and pink pony were seated. "Twiley!" the white pony said. "Good to see you back here! How did it go?" "Oh...hey...you..." Twilight said. "Crystal King Guy?" The white pony chuckled. "Still jealous that I was the first family member to become royalty, huh?" he said. "Uh...yeah," Twilight said awkwardly. "Your...parents must be proud." "Is something wrong?" Princess Cadance asked. "You don't usually talk to your brother like that." "My...brother?" Twilight asked. Suddenly, everything clicked into place for her. "Shining Armor! You can't be a prince! You always break the rules!" "Ha ha, no I don't!" Shining said. "What about the time we were growing up, and you broke Mom's favorite vase?" "That was totally your fault!" Shining said. "And what about the time you played with matches and set the neighbor's cat on fire?" "Well, the cat shouldn't have been in our house!" Shining said. "And then there's the time you were visiting dirty websites on the Internet, and you accidentally downloaded five hundred viruses onto Dad's computer at work!" Twilight said. "It crashed Apple's offices for five days!" "What's an Internet?" Shining asked, confused. "The Internet is a series of tubes," a nerdy voice lectured. "It is designed to pass information across long distances nearly instantaneously, but it is mainly used as a platform to make fun of other people. I learned about it in the Human World." Human Twilight Sparkle slowly turned around and found herself face to face with the real Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle. Twilight frowned at her. "I came here to help with the changeling invasion," Twilight said. "Looks like I came just in time." "Two Twilights?!" Cadance asked. "It's another changeling!" "But which one is the real Twilight Sparkle?" Shining Armor asked. "I am!" Pony Twilight said, charging up a magic spell. "No, I am!" Human Twilight said. "I mean, she's the one who knows all about that Internet thing." "She's right!" Shining Armor said. "Guards, arrest her!" Human Twilight hid behind Shining Armor, while the guards tackled Twilight Sparkle. The only guard who didn't attack her was Flash Sentry, who was too busy drooling. Two Twilight Sparkles in the same place was one of his fondest dreams. The fight between the guards and Twilight was intense, but they eventually managed to overcome her and drag her to the dungeons. This proved to be the downfall of the Crystal Kingdom, because while the guards were busy with Twilight, the changeling army attacked the castle. Chapter 5Queen Chrysalis and the changelings burst into the throne room. "HA HA HA!" she said. "At last, I have gotten my revenge on you, Princess Cadance!" "Queen Chrysalis!" Cadance gasped. "I have conquered your territory," Chrysalis said. "Instead of the Crystal Empire, it will be called the Chrystalis Empire! Ha ha ha!" "Guards, seize her!" Shining Armor commanded. The guards tried to attack, but they were still wounded from the fight with Twilight Sparkle. Their defense was pitiful, at best, and they immediately surrendered when Sunset Shimmer pulled out a hammer. Soon, the two royals found themselves tied up in green cocoons, unable to do anything as the changelings took over. In the Crystal Empire's dungeon, Twilight was thrown into the same cell as Pinkie Pie. "Let me out of here! I'm the real Princess Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight shouted. "I'm not a changeling!" "Princess Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Oh my gosh, it's been forever since we've been together!" Twilight turned and glared at Pinkie Pie. She would have charged a magic spell to protect herself, if she hadn't used up her magic in the fight with the guards. "Stay back, Changeling!" she said. "I know you're not Pinkie Pie! She's in Ponyville!" "No no no! You don't understand!" Pinkie said. "I'm the Human Pinkie Pie! I helped you fight Sunset Shimmer during the Fall Formal! Remember?" "Oh yeah? Prove it," Twilight said. "Tell me something only a human would know." "Human girls sit down to use the bathroom," Pinkie Pie said. Twilight's eyes widened. "You're right," she said. "You must be—but that's impossible! The portal only opens once every thirty moons!" "More like thirty days," Pinkie said. "I missed you, so I thought I'd come visit, but everything got all kooky-crazy WEIRD! All I want to do is go home now!" Twilight hugged her lost friend. "Oh, Pinkie, I missed you, too," she said. "I miss all of my human friends, in a deep, sincere way which doesn't affect the series continuity. The fact that I only befriended you because I know your pony duplicates doesn't lessen or cheapen our friendship in any way." "Yay, friendship!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everyone should have friends!" "Except for the changelings, who are evil and beyond redemption," Twilight was quick to add. "We need to figure out some way to protect the Crystal Empire, before they feed on everypony's emotions!" "Right!" Pinkie said. "But maybe we should get out of jail first." She had broken out of jail in the human world four times—long story—so she wasn't too worried about attempting a jailbreak. Back in the human world, the Equestria Girls were being ponytastical, which is a made-up word that means "relevant to the plot of the story". A month ago, Twilight Sparkle saved their world from utter destruction, and according to my watch, it's time for them to repay the favor! "Blah blah blah boys," Sunset Shinner said. "Blah blah blah fashion," Rarity said. "Blah blah blah stereotypical girl thing," Applejack said. "Blah blah blah bacon is delicious," Rainbow Dash said. The important conversation was interrupted, when Fluttershy ran up to the group, with a familiar purple dog in her hands. "Girls! I found Spike!" "Aw, he's just as cute as ever!" Rarity said. She put a finger on Spike's nose. "Aren't you? Aren't you?" Spike growled and bit Rarity, who screamed in pain. She later had to receive a painful rabies shot to ensure she didn't catch any diseases. "Woah, what's wrong with him?" Rainbow Dash said. "I think this is Dog Spike," Fluttershy said. "Um, that is, the Spike from our world. Not the talking Spike." "Huh," Applejack said. She put out her hand and touched Spike's dog tags. "Says here his name is Spike Sparkle. Reckon that means he belongs to the Twilight gal who lives in the city?" "She was here earlier today," Sunset Shimmer said. "I saw her with the human version of me." "Wait, so that's the Twilight Sparkle everyone's been talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Twilight's twin?" Sunset nodded. "The last I saw them, they were both headed for the portal to Equestria." "Are you sure, darling?" asked Rarity. "As I understand it, the portal is closed forever." "The portal opens for a few days every month," Sunset said. "And it's open right now. I know, because the portal's opening is synced with my period." A brief silence fell on the group after that. "...Is that why you turned evil when you first came here?" Applejack asked. "NO!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I just—pony anatomy doesn't work like—I wanted revenge on Princess Celestia, okay? Now let's just get going to the portal!" "An adventure in Pony World? Awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. The four female friends (and the dog) walked across campus to go to the portal. Along the way, they were accosted by Flash Sentry, who was desperately searching for his kind-of girlfriend. When they told him what happened, he frowned. "If the portal's open again, then I'm going with you," Flash Sentry said, with a serious look on his face. "I need to see Twilight again." Once Alicorn Twilight's magic returned, she was able to levitate the keys to the door and escape from the dungeon that way. In the hallway, Twilight and Pinkie met with the group of humans. Working together, they all formed a plan to defeat Queen Chrysalis. It was a brilliant, nuanced plan with very specific roles for everyone involved, and—nah, I'm just kidding. They decided to repeat the plan they used to get Twilight elected as Princess of the Fall Formal. The small group of heroes threw open the doors to the throne room and ran inside. "Stop right there, Queen Chrysalis!" Twilight said. "Release my brother and Princess Cadance!" "Yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "Release her brother and—who?" "Princess Cadance," Twilight said. "The pink princess." "But you told us you were the only pony princess!" Rarity said. "Heh heh..." Twilight chuckled weakly, embarrassed. "Guess I forgot about Cadance." "ENOUGH!" Chrysalis said. She jumped off of the throne and stomped on the floor. Four dozen changelings burst through the windows and landed on the ground in front of her. "Changelings, kill the ponies! Kill them all!" "Um...what about us?" Human Sunset asked. "We helped you!" "I have no further use for you humans," Chrysalis said, predictably betraying her allies. "You can die with the others!" "NO!" Human Twilight screamed. "You won't kill anybody today!" Pinkie Pie said heroically. "Now that my human friends are here, we can stop you, Evil Bug Pony! It's time...to DANCE!" Funky music started playing, as the Equestria Girls broke into a well-rehearsed dance routine. The name of this dance was The Electric Boogaloo. Hey, hey, everybody, We have something to say. Hey, hey, everybody, Hey, hey, hey. These lyrics aren't inspired. We think the writer's tired, Or maybe he's not trying very hard. So hey, hey, everybody, We've got something for you. Hey, hey, everybody, Let's do the Electric Boogaloo. At this point, the ponies danced while there was a wicked flugelhorn solo, courtesy of Flash Sentry. Hey, hey, everybody, We know how to sing. Hey, hey, everybody! Um...something something! Dance, dance, everybody! It doesn't matter if you're a human or a pony. Everybody loves to dance The Electric Boogaloo. At this point, the two Twilight Sparkles jumped up and stood back to back. They were supposed to sing a fantastic duet piece, as part of the song's bridge. Pony Twilight started it off. I know life can be tough, But the power of friendship Helps you through all of your problems! Sadly, Human Twilight had never heard this song before, and she had no idea what the lyrics were. So she just sang the first thing that came into her head. This has been a really weird day. I have no idea what's going on. I just want to go home and check my email. "Yeah!" everyone shouted. Then it was back to dancing. Hey, hey, everybody, We know how to sing and dance. Hey, hey, everybody, Paris is the capital of France. Hey, hey, everybody, Don't kill and make us dead. Hey, hey, everybody, Let's be nice instead. Hey, hey, everybody, What we say is true. Hey, hey, everybody, It's the Electric Boogaloo! The dance ended with everyone doing a cool pose. Tears were streaming down Queen Chrysalis' face when the music stopped. "I surrender!" she said. "There's no way I can defeat your fantastic dance moves!" Chapter 6Queen Chrysalis returned the crystal heart to its rightful place, before she and the changelings left forever. The crystal ponies rejoiced over the fact that their imprisonment was short-lived, and our heroes talked for a bit in the throne room. "We beat the evil bad guys!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "This adventure in Pony World was actually kind of fun!" "So what happens now?" Fluttershy asked. "Tell you what, why don't you stay here for a couple of days?" Twilight asked. "I can give you all a personal tour of Equestria! You can meet everypony!" "That sounds awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. "Yeah, I can see my parents again!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I'd love to see more of these fabulous crystals!" Rarity said. "Why do I have a tattoo of apples on my butt?" Applejack asked. "Great!" Twilight said. "We can start here with the Crystal Empire, and then I'll take you to Canterlot! That's the capital city, and there's a lot to do there. Then I'll take you to my home in Ponyville, where you can meet your pony duplicates!" "Pony...duplicates?" Rainbow asked. "You know how there's a Human Twilight and a Pony Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer said. "The same thing applies for all of you! There's a Pony Fluttershy, a Pony Applejack, a Pony Pinkie Pie..." "I thought the pony duplicate thing only applied to you and Sunset, because you're special," Fluttershy said. "I mean, you're the only two who went through the portal." "No, it turns out that every pony has a human duplicate!" Twilight said. "The fact that they all attend the same high school is just a coincidence." "You mean everybody at Canterlot High is based on a pony? Even though they're all different ages?" "That's exactly right!" Twilight said. "So come on, I'll introduce you to your pony duplicates! It'll be fun, right?" The humans all looked at each other. Coming to a silent agreement, they all nodded, then galloped as quickly as possible back to the mirror portal. "Huh," Twilight said. Only three of the humanized ponies stayed for the large banquet that the crystal ponies put on. Two of them were Human Twilight Sparkle and Human Sunset Shimmer, both of whom felt embarrassed for their role in helping Chrysalis. When the banquet was over, they spoke with Twilight. "We're going back to our world now," Human Twilight said. "But before we leave, we want to thank you for all you've done." "Yeah," Human Sunset said. "You really taught us how people are supposed to act." "I did?" Twilight asked. "Yes," Human Twilight said. "See, the two of us are roommates, but all we ever do is fight with each other." "But now we're going to follow your example and work together," Human Sunset said. "We don't want to end up like that evil, friendless bug monster." "Sounds like you two learned a lot about friendship," Pony Twilight said. "We certainly did," Sunset said, giving her roommate a hug. "From now on, I'm going to be nice and make friends with everyone!" "Me too!" Human Twilight said. "Even though I'm an introvert, I'm going to put myself out there and meet new friends!" "That's great!" Twilight Sparkle said. She was impressed that these two humans were able to legitimately become nice, without the Elements of Harmony giving them a rainbow-colored friendship beam to the face. After those two left, Human Flash Sentry came up to Twilight. "I should get going back to my world, too," he said. "But before I do, I have something important to tell you. I...I'm in love." "Love?" Twilight asked. "I am madly, deeply, passionately in love with the most beautiful pony in the universe," Flash said. Twilight blushed. "You are?" she asked. "That's so sweet!" Pony Flash Sentry walked up beside Human Flash Sentry and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We're both in love with each other," he said. "We just have so much in common!" "Like we have blue hair, and we play guitar!" "Yeah, so I'm going to follow him to Human World, and we'll live together there!" Flash said. "Sorry things didn't work out between us, Twilight," Flash said sincerely. "But what Flash and I have is real." "You understand, right?" Twilight blinked at the two Flash Sentries. The closest thing she ever had to a coltfriend had just decided to leave her, so he could date himself. "...Remind me to destroy that portal to Human World," Twilight muttered. Everyone had a happy ending after that. The damage to Canterlot High was repaired, Principal Celestia finally went to a tanning salon, and Vice Principal Luna's library book was returned before she accumulated any late fees. The short trip to Equestria cured Pinkie Pie of her minor depression. She ended up finding a nice boyfriend named Perry Bunch. The two Flash Sentries teamed up to start a band, Rainbow Dash won the MVP in the championship volleyball game, Fluttershy cut her hair, and Applejack eventually realized her little sister was too young for high school. Rarity was fascinated by the magical portal's ability to make clothes appear from out of nowhere. She experimented with the portal, and by using mannequins, she was able to get over three hundred outfits for free. She used them to start her own clothing store. Over at the college, Human Sunset became school valedictorian, Human Twilight got over four hundred friends on Facebook, and Dog Spike was neutered. Sunset and Twilight became best friends, as well as roommates. Yes, everything was well and good for the Equestria Girls, but there was one loose end that Rainbow Dash wanted to tie up. After some searching, she finally found the group she was looking for, inside the gym. "Okay, everyone," the black-skinned Human Chrysalis said to her cohorts. "Remember, we need their love. It nourishes us and gives us strength! It's almost like we feed off of their love!" "Hey, are you Chrysalis and the Changelings?" Rainbow Dash asked. Chyrsalis turned to see Rainbow Dash, and her face filled with joy. "OMG! Rainbow Dash!" she said. "Look, it's Rainbow Dash!" All of the cheerleaders jumped up from the ground. As always, they looked cute in their signature black and blueish-green uniforms. They gathered around Rainbow Dash asking questions. "How are you so good at sports?" "Is it true your softball team beat the boys' baseball team?" "We root for you at every game!" Chrysalis, the leader of the cheer squad, had a more relevant question. "How did you know our group's secret name is 'The Changelings'?" "Eh, just a lucky guess," Rainbow Dash said. The End
Chapter 1Equestria Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo Vodka. That's what the official police report said. Someone slipped huge amounts of vodka into the punch bowl, during Canterlot High's Fall Formal. As a result, most of the students got ridiculously drunk and started seeing things. The most common hallucination revolved around Sunset Shimmer. Students said that Sunset turned into a fearsome dragon creature. She turned everyone into her zombie slaves and destroyed the school's entrance, until she was stopped by a talking dog and a group of half-human, half-pony warriors. Clearly, vodka was responsible for these delusions. Mind-altering drugs may have been involved, too. After the police report was filed, Principal Celestia required all the students to attend substance abuse classes. Everyone thought that would be the end of the story, but they were wrong. They were very, very wrong. You see, with all the talk about magical portals and pony adventures and dragon-led zombie hordes, two very important people were overlooked. The first was Twilight Sparkle's human counterpart, who lived in the city. The second was Sunset Shimmer's human counterpart. Yes, of course Sunset Shimmer has a human counterpart. Every pony in Equestria has a human counterpart. Well, every pony besides Princess Cadance. For some reason, her counterpart in Canterlot High is a fire hydrant. No one knows why. The pony Sunset Shimmer was hit with the Elements of Harmony, and she immediately was turned into a crying, remorseful teenager. But the human version of Sunset Shimmer? She never went through such a convenient reformation. She was still in the human world, and she was very, very angry. We'll check in on Human Twilight and Human Sunset later on. For now, our story begins with Canterlot High's five best friends, who were getting ready to attend their substance abuse class. "Can you believe it's been almost a month since the Fall Formal?" Rarity asked. "And Sunset Shimmer hasn't done a single mean thing in all that time! I think she's truly reformed!" "I agree," Applejack said. "I like her much better as a friend than an enemy." "Sunset is nice, but...I miss Twilight," Fluttershy said softly. "Yeah, I know what you mean," Rainbow Dash said. "Personally, I miss those wings I got during the dance. Flying was awesome! Too bad it was only temporary." Pinkie Pie scratched her head. "Temporary? Didn't Twilight say the portal automatically opens and closes?" "Yeah, once every thirty months," Applejack said. "That's why she was so worried about not gettin' back home in time." Pinkie wracked her sugar-addled brain. Something seemed off about her friends' statements, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Pinkie liked to think of herself as an amazing detective, so she decided to research the mysterious portal to Equestria. She looked up "portal" on the Internet, and she immediately got distracted playing videogames. Eventually, she got kicked out of the school library by Cheerilee. While Pinkie was getting chewed out by Cheerilee, she was able to get a quick look at the list of books that were checked out. These books included a number of interesting reads, such as Mystery Pony Portals and How to Use Them, Meeting Your Equine-Based Doppleganger and Advanced Underwater Basket Weaving. Pinkie's attention was immediately drawn to a pop-up book entitled That's Enough out of You, Luna! TO THE MOOOOOOOON!. And thus, Pinkie's investigation took a serious turn, as she burst into the administrative offices without permission. "Hi, Vice-Principal Luna!" Pinkie shouted. Vice-Principal Luna, who had been reviewing school policies in other countries, sighed loudly. "Pinkie," the older woman said. "What are you doing here? Did you break one of the basketball nets again?" "The librarian said you have a book on astronomy," Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "I was wondering if I could borrow it." "Ah, yes," Luna said. "I trust you want to learn more about the full moon tomorrow?" "There's a full moon tomorrow?" Pinkie Pie asked. "There's one every month," the dark and gloomy vice-principal said. "The moon stays full for three days when that happens." "I didn't think astronomy worked like that," Pinke said. Vice-Principal Luna shrugged. "If I could control the moon, I would have a full moon every night. They're so beautiful... " At this, Pinkie went wild and lost her mind; she took this game into overtime. The pony portal opened regularly...the full moon appeared regularly...the two had to be connected somehow! "Being in charge of discipline at Canterlot High, the only kind of moon I see is...never mind," Luna said, shaking her head. She handed over the pop-up book on astronomy to Pinkie Pie. "You can borrow this, but make sure to return it to the library on time." "Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie said. Holding the book triumphantly over her head, Pinkie knew the answer to all of her questions was not far off! Ten minutes later, Pinkie slumped down in the corner near her locker. "I don't understand, Gummy," Pinkie said to the green creature in her hand. "How can I solve this mystery?" Gummy appeared to make no response. "Maybe I'm not such a good detective..." Pinkie pouted. "But if I don't solve the mystery, we'll never see Twilight again! That's horrible!" Again, the green Gummy did nothing. Pinkie reacted as if he had given a passionate speech, however. "That's it, Gummy!" Pinkie said. "Why didn't you say that sooner? I'll just check the portal every day until it works!" Pinkie hugged Gummy, which left nasty green slime all over her cheek. Rarity, who happened to be walking down the hallway at the time, stopped and gasped. "EW!" Rarity shouted. "Is that used gum?" Pinkie Pie shoved the large green gum creature into her locker. "It's Gummy!" she said. "Mom wouldn't let me get a real alligator, you know!" Pinkie and Rarity argued for a bit about whether or not Gummy was disgusting, and Pinkie ran away crying because Gummy was the only boy in school who legitimately liked her for who she was. All the other boys only liked her for her parties! Pinkie hadn't thought about running away from her life before, but she was sure thinking it now! The magical pony portal was the perfect way to avoid the stress of high school. She jogged straight towards the pony statue in front of Canterlot High and painfully smashed against it. "Oh...right...the portal was on the back side of the statue," Pinkie remembered. She walked around the statue and cautiously put her hand against the stone. Her hand slid right through the stone, like magic. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Pinkie said. She tentatively put a foot inside the portal, and when she didn't die instantly, she dove right inside. The world around Pinkie changed, and she felt like she was being dragged through a whirlwind of pizza, coffee and sleepless nights. In other words, it felt like finals week. The weird sensations ended, and Pinkie found herself on all fours, inside a mostly-empty room. Pinkie's first reaction—don't ask me why—was to wiggle her bottom from left to right, so her tail would bounce around. "I'M A PONY!" Pinkie shouted. "My life is finally complete!" Pinkie's new body instinctively snorted, then whinnied. This caused her to trip over her hooves and smack her snout on the floor. "Ow." Pinkie sang to herself as she danced through the crystal hallways. Doo de doo de doo Electric Boogaloo Pinkie Pinkie Pie Is a pony now! Everything in the pony universe was so pretty and shiny! It was a beautiful place, filled with so many wonders, casting a spell that she was now under. The only problem was that there were no other ponies around! Pinkie had apparently arrived in a forgotten room in an unknown castle. She tried looking out a window, but all she could see were mountains in the distance. BORING! After some wandering, Pinkie saw a guidepost which pointed towards several locations, including the throne room. Pinkie gasped. "That must be where Twilight is! She's the pony princess!" Pinkie waggled her ears and danced her way to the throne room. "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shouted loudly. Pinkie immediately found six spears, pointed directly at her face. They were being held by a group of angry-looking guards. Pinkie had no idea how they could hold spears without fingers, but this didn't seem like a good time to ask. Things escalated quickly, when Shining Armor received a reply from his sister. Dear BBBFF, The instant I got your letter, I ran to double-check that Pinkie Pie is still here in Ponyville. I found her working in the bakery, as usual. So unless you've found one of Pinkie's mirror pool clones, the Pinkie Pie who's with you must be a— "CHANGLING!" Shining Armor shouted. "Send her to the dungeons!" "I'm not a chain link!" Pinkie Pie protested, as the royal guards tackled her and covered her with chains. "I'm not any type of fence!" "There will be no mercy for you, minion of Chrysalis!" Shining Armor said, slamming his hooves on the ground. "Let the foul creature starve to death!" "This is all a huge misunderstanding!" Pinkie said. "I'm not really a pony! I just wanted to find a cute cowboy boyfriend!" "She admits she's not a pony?" Princess Cadance gasped. "Then she must be a changling!" "No, I'm a hu—" Pinkie said. She was cut off in mid-sentence, when one of the ponies knocked her unconscious.
Chapter 2Earlier, I said that we'd check in on Human Twilight and Human Sunset. The two of them did not attend Canterlot High School. They both tested out of high school and got into college a year early. As luck would have it, they were roommates. Needless to say, they wanted to kill each other after the first week. This particular day, Sunset Shimmer was furious because Twilight accidentally left a box of feminine hygiene products on her roommate's bed. "ARGH!" Sunset shouted. "You're always leaving your stuff in my part of the room!" "So?" Twilight asked. "It's GROSS!" Sunset said, throwing the hygiene products at Twilight. "I told you to stop messing with things on my side of the room!" "Get over it!" Twilight said. "God, you're such a whiny brat! No wonder you don't have any friends!" "You don't have friends either, you worthless snot-faced introvert!" Sunset said. "I'm not introverted!" Twilight said. "I just don't care what other people think about me. It's better than you, Miss I Google Myself On a Daily Basis!" "It's better than the search results that pop up when I look for your name, Twilight Sparkle!" "I like the Twilight series!" Twilight shouted. "You have no idea what true romance is like!" Sunset Shimmer shouted. "That's why you ruined things between me and Shining Armor!" "You're a pervert for hitting on my brother!" Twilight said. "What? You hit on my mother!" Sunset said. "How many times do I have to tell you? I thought she was a guy!" The two of them argued in this vein for some time, until Sunset dumped the box of feminine hygiene products upside-down on Twilight's head. Twilight ran away crying, and Sunset smiled triumphantly. Sunset jumped on her bed and turned on her laptop. On a whim, Sunset decided to Google herself, like Twilight suggested. The first search result was more than a little surprising. Sunset Shimmer Destroys Fall Formal at Canterlot High "What the—?" Sunset asked. In the pony universe, inside the Crystal Palace Dungeons, Human Pinkie Pie sang a sad melody. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows my sorrow Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows but Jesus. "What's a 'Jesus'?" one of the pony guards asked. "I have no idea," his partner said. Not long afterwards, the main door to the dungeons opened and in walked Flash Sentry, the local captain of the guards. He waved the other guards aside as he approached Pinkie's cell. "All right, Changling!" Flash shouted. "I'm here to get information out of you, so you'd better cooperate!" "My name isn't Changling! It's Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said. "And I'm tired of being a pony! I wanna go back home, where I have my normal body!" Flash shook his head. This particular changling was doing a horrible job of pretending to be another species. "Are you planning on invading the Crystal Empire?" Flash asked. "Where's Queen Chrysalis?" "I don't know!" Pinkie said. "I'm telling the truth, Flash! You have to believe me!" Flash paused. "How do you know my name?" he asked. "Well, duh, you're obviously Flash Sentry," Pinkie asked. "The blue-haired guy with the crush on Twilight." Flash blushed almost immediately. "I...I don't have a crush on Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie smiled at his shyness. "There's no use pretending, Brad! I saw you dancing with her at the Fall Formal!" "Brad?" Flash asked. "That's your nickname in the human world," Pinkie said. "Where we live, the word 'flash' means...um, never mind what it means. The important thing is that Twilight Sparkle is one of my best friends." "What does that have to do with anything?" Flash asked. "Let me out of here, and I'll totally help you date her," Pinkie said. "What do you say, Brad?" Flash narrowed his eyes dramatically, as he considered the offer. On one hoof, he could be dooming his entire species to a slow, painful death. On the other hoof, Princess Twilight Sparkle was really cute. Flash held out his hoof. "Deal," he said. Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle looked at the front entrance to Canterlot High School. It seemed that the news reports were true. Even after a month of repairs, the building's entrance was completely trashed. "Wow," Sunset said. "This place looks awful." "Yeah," Twilight said. "Your evil twin really did a number on this place." "Yeah, well, your evil twin apparently saved this place by turning into a flying pony," Sunset Shimmer said. "Come on, let's go inside and investigate." "Sure," Twilight said. "Come on, Spike." Twilight tugged on the leash connected to her pet dog, Spike. Spike was busy relieving himself on a nearby pink fire hydrant, but he obediently walked next to Twilight once he felt the tug. The two roommates did not get very far, because the school hallways were crowded. Some of the passing students stopped to look at them. "Isn't that Twilight Sparkle?" "Behold! The pony princess has returned!" "No, that was a hallucination! It wasn't real! It wasn't real!" "They recognize us," Sunset muttered to Twilight. "Is this good or bad?" "Hopefully, it's good," Twilight said. "They can tell us what happened here last month." The word about Twilight's return to school spread quickly throughout the hallways. In fact, #TwilightSparkleIsBack momentarily trended on Twitter. Twitter immediately returned to its normal trending phrases, #CorporateSponsoredItem and #SexualTopic. No one was happier to hear about Twilight's return than her romantic interest, Flash Sentry. He ran down the hallways until he found her and once again held her in his arms. "Twilight! You're back from the Pony World!" Flash said. "Um...who are you?" Twilight asked. "God, I missed you so much!" Flash said. "I thought I'd never see you again, and—" The boy unexpectedly grabbed Twilight's face and kissed her passionately. Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but she didn't break off the kiss. "Ugh," Sunset Shimmer said. "Never thought I'd see my roommate get kissed by anyone besides Spike." Spike the Dog barked happily and wagged his tail. "Duuude," one of the nearby students said to Sunset. "It's makeout day today? Cool! Wanna go?" "Excuse me?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "DUde, you're hot," the student said. "That leather jacket is nice! Bet you'd look nicer without it, though..." Sunset Shimmer punched him in the face so hard that two of his teeth were knocked out. "You scum-sucking pervert!" she said. "Run away before I castrate your stupid—" Sunset's violence caught the attention of a brave, peace-loving student. "Hey! You can't talk to him like that!" "I'll talk to him however I want!" Sunset said, turning around. The frown on her face was replaced with a gasp, when she found herself staring into the face of her pony twin. A proud purple pony princess stepped onto the crystal floor of the throne room, with an angry look on her face. "Twilight!" Shining Armor said. "I didn't think you'd get here so fast!" "Hello, Big Brother," Twilight said. "I came as soon as I heard about the changeling. Where is it?" "It's in the dungeons," Shining said. "Flash Sentry is interrogating it, now. If the changelings are planning to invade Equestria, we'll know it soon." "Flash Sentry?" Twilight asked. "You know, your boyfriend!" Princess Cadance teased. "WHA-WHA-WHA-HUMMINA-HUMMINA-CHOO-CHOO-TRAIN-WHAAA AAT?" Shining Armor shouted. Cadance giggled. "As Prince of the Crystal Empire, I declare that it is illegal for any pony to have a romantic interest in my little sister," Shining Armor said. "I can do that, right?" Twilight wisely decided to leave the throne room. She made her way downstairs, just in time to see Flash Sentry lead Pinkie Pie out of the dungeons. "What are you doing?" Twilight asked. The two ponies froze immediately, as they were caught. "Princess Twilight!" Flash said. "I, um...I was taking the prisoner out for a walk!" "I thought you were letting me escape!"Pinkie Pie said. "I—no, I—but—" "I need to talk to the changling, alone!" Twilight snapped. "Um, yes, Your Highness!" Flash said, saluting. He opened the door to the dungeons and let Pinkie Pie go inside with Twilight. As soon as the door was shut, Twilight slapped Pinkie Pie. "What are you thinking, you idiot?!" she shouted. "You almost ruined our invasion plan!" "Our invasion plan?" Pinkie Pie asked. Twilight closed her eyes and transformed back into her real body, that of Queen Chrysalis. "You know I can only change into alicorns! Using Twilight Sparkle's form is the only way I can conquer the Crystal Empire! With the love magic that emanates from the Crystal Heart, we can feast here forever!" "Duh.......what?" Pinkie asked. This day kept getting weirder and weirder for her.
Chapter 3Principal Celestia was on the phone, convincing someone to donate money to Canterlot High. She and her sister were very good at getting donations for the school; it was thanks to her and Luna that Canterlot High was so well-endowed. Needless to say, she was unhappy when her important phone call was interrupted with pony nonsense. The three students in front of her were giving her a minor headache. "But we finally have proof of what happened last month!" Pony Sunset Shimmer said. "That means you can take away my punishment!" "The police said it was vodka," Principal Celestia said calmly. "That's what happened. Not some otherworldly pony antics." "Vodka doesn't explain my human counterpart!" Sunset said, gesturing wildly to the other Sunset Shimmer. Human Sunset Shimmer scrunched up her face. "Are you seriously saying that you're a pony?" she asked. "YES!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I used to go to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns! I left through the portal when she wouldn't let me into Advanced Transforming a semester ahead of time!" "Yeah...I think I'll agree with the pasty white woman," Human Sunset said. "You've been drinking too much vodka." "Duly noted," Principal Celestia said. "After this meeting, please go to Vice-Principal Luna for a sobriety test and drug screening." "I don't believe in this pony nonsense, either," Twilight Sparkle said. "But I still would like an explanation for why someone impersonated me last month." "Twilight disappeared after she was crowned Princess of the Fall Formal," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, when we checked the school records, we couldn't find her in there. It's as if she appeared out of nowhere, attended school for three days, then disappeared." "Maybe you've got a freaky lookalike, just like I do," Sunset Shimmer said. "I told you, we look like twins because I'm your duplicate from Equestria!" Pony Sunset said. "I just prefer being in high school to being a respected member of Celestia's court!" "The only court you find me in is the basketball court," Principal Celestia said. "In fact, I think basketball is a lot like your pony world. When I'm busy making slam dunks, I sometimes find myself wishing that there was a sports bra as comfortable as my underwire. But just because I want something a lot, that doesn't mean it exists." Pony Sunset's eyes saddened. "You're saying that you don't believe in the pony world." "It was vodka, Miss Shimmer," Principal Celestia. "I would appreciate it if you—" Celestia paused and looked down. A small purple dog was doing something inappropriate to one of the legs of her desk. "Whose dog is this?" she asked. "Um, that's my dog, Spike," Twilight said, blushing. She yanked on Spike's leash. "He...I still have to have him neutered." "Dogs are not allowed on school property," Principal Celestia said. She bent her freakishly long legs and picked Spike up off of the ground. "I'm afraid I'll have to send him to the animal shelter." "But—!" "You can pick him up after school," Principal Celestia said. "Now if you three will excuse me, I have important business to do." "I am not a changeling, and I am not a pony!" Pinkie Pie said, for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm not an animal! I am a human being!" Queen Chrysalis frowned. "What is a human?" she asked. "They're creatures that walk on two legs and always wear boots," Pinkie explained. "We don't have tails or snouts, but we have fingers and toes! In my world, animals don't talk!" Chrysalis held her hoof against Pinkie's forehead. "Hmmmm...you don't feel like you have a fever...Did you bump your head, my minion?" "Get away from me, Bug Pony!" Pinkie said. "I'm not trusting a weird hole-leg thingy like you!" Chrysalis snarled. "Why does everypony make a huge deal about the holes in my legs?" she asked. "It's not my fault they look this way! I just had an accident when I was getting my ears pierced!" "The point is that I wanna go home!" Pinkie said. "I want to go back to my world, where everything is normal, and there are no magical ponies anywhere!" "A world without magical defenses?" Queen Chrysalis asked. "Hmmm...is there a lot of love in your world?" Pinkie frowned and went on a long rant about the nature of love. In her opinion, nobody at Canterlot High knew a single thing about love. All they knew about love came from unrealistic movies and TV shows. Why, there was one movie where a girl—let's call her "Spilight Twarkle"—bumped into a random guy three times. Poof! That meant they were "in love", and so they danced together at Prom and made out by the punch table for thirty minutes. "And did you see that TV show, with the two-part wedding episode?" Pinkie asked. "This guy's fiancee is kidnapped and replaced with someone completely different. He cheats on her for weeks, without noticing anything is wrong! And there are no negative consequences whatsoever! His fiancee doesn't get mad at him at all when she comes back, because of true love. More like true stupidity!" Queen Chrysalis bit her lip. That story sounded oddly familiar. "It sounds like this 'high school' of which you speak is overrun with teenage emotions," Chrysalis said, thinking quickly. "I'm dreadfully sorry that you were accidentally imprisoned. If you want, I can take you back to your world." "Great!" Pinkie said. Then she paused for a second. "Heeeey, you're not thinking about taking over my world and feeding on everyone's intangible emotions in some unspecified manner, are you?" "Of course not," Chrysalis lied. "That's a relief!" Pinkie said. Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer stared at the backside of the Canterlot High statue. This was the grand, majestic portal to Equestria. "It's a horse's butt," Twilight said bluntly. "I think they said the portal is in the base of the statue," Sunset said. "Yeah, right!" Twilight said. "Like I can place my hand against solid rock, and it magically turns into—WOAH!" Twilight tried to lean against the statue's base, and she fell forward into it. Sunset Shimmer leaped forward to grab Twilight's hand, but Twilight was unexpectedly heavy. Sunset Shimmer was pulled downwards, and the two of them tumbled through the portal. "OW! What the buck, Twi?" "Get off me, you fat cow! I've had enough of your manure for one day!" The two girls didn't have time to wonder why their swear words had turned into pony-related puns. They were struggling to disentangle themselves, using body parts and muscles they did not have previously. Sunset was able to back away, once she got her hoof free from one of Twilight's wings. Sunset Shimmer looked at Twilight. Twilight looked at her. "It's real," Twilight said, amazed. "There really is a portal to a pony world." "...Why are we naked now?" Sunset Shimmer asked. It was one sentence Sunset had hoped to never say to her roommate.
Chapter 4"Now, I need you to be very specific," Queen Chrysalis said. "Where is the portal to the human world?" "It's a mirror inside the Plot Device Room!" Human Pinkie Pie said. "I saw the sign on the door when I left it!" "Convenient!" Chrysalis said. "Yeah, it was in the Hall of Convenience!" Pinkie said. "It's to the left of the Crystal Ballroom, but to the right of the Crystal Bathroom. Just make sure to avoid going in the other room with the word 'plot' on the door! That room was nasty!" Chrysalis turned herself back into Twilight Sparkle and smiled. "Thank you for your help, foolish human! If all your kind is like you, conquering this world should be a breeze!" "What?" Pinkie asked. Chrysalis magically opened the door to the dungeons and started to leave as guards entered. Pinkie's eyes went wide with shock. "Hey, you said you were going to take me with you!" Chrysalis chuckled evilly. "Guards, I fear that the prisoner is delusional!" she said. "You'd better lock it up securely, where nopony can hear her." "Yes, Princess Twilight Sparkle!" the guards said, saluting. "WORST! DAY! EVER!" Pinkie Pie shouted, grabbing her hair in a distressed fashion. In the human world, school was over for the day. Rainbow Dash stopped by Fluttershy's locker. "Did you hear the rumors, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Twilight Sparkle is back from Ponyland!" "Oh, my! I didn't hear that!" Fluttershy said. "Where is she?" "I dunno," Rainbow Dash said. "People saw her for a bit, then she disappeared. The other girls and I are gonna go look for her." "I'll help you!" Fluttershy volunteered. "I just need to stop by the animal shelter first. I heard that someone's dog got left there today." "You and your animals," Rainbow Dash said, smiling. "Just text me when you're done, okay? Oh, and text me if you hear from Pinkie. No one's seen her in a while." Fluttershy hummed a catchy tune as she went to the Canterlot High Animal Shelter, which doubled as the Canterlot High Lost and Found Box. A small purple dog was there, and it was trying to kill a stuffed animal shaped like a pony. "SPIKE?" Fluttershy asked. The dog turned to Fluttershy and barked. "Oh my gosh, it is you!" Fluttershy said, picking him up. "What's happening? Where's Twilight?" Spike licked her face. "Um...I'm glad to see you, too," Fluttershy said. "But I know you can talk, so you don't have to pretend you don't." Spike barked again. "Um...Spike?" Fluttershy asked. Spike started drooling. "Oh my gosh! He's a real dog now!" Human Twilight Sparkle and Human Sunset Shimmer were examining their new pony bodies. "This is so weird," Twilight Sparkle said. "Maybe that freakishly pale woman with the ugly pantsuit was right," Sunset Shimmer said. "We got drunk on vodka." "What are these horns for? Sword fighting?" "Who knows?" Sunset asked. "Why do you have wings, when I don't?" "The reason she has wings is because she's a princess," a voice said. The two roommates turned to the doorway to the room, which they hadn't noticed because they were too preoccupied. A duplicate version of Twilight Sparkle was standing there, and after a few seconds, she morphed into a large black pony with holes in her legs. "Allow me to introduce myself, humans," the pony said. "I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Changelings. I have come here to conquer the Crystal Empire." "The what now?" "Crystal something." "Crystal meth? Is that why everyone hallucinates and thinks that they're ponies?" "The Crystal Empire!" Queen Chrysalis said. "But now that I see the rumors about the human world are true, I have a new plan! I will conquer the human world, build up an army of human teenagers, then bring them here to conquer Equestria! I will be the ruler of both worlds! HA HA HA HA HA!" Twilight sat down on her rump. The entire situation was too much for her to handle. Being turned into a pony was bad enough, but meeting a universe-conquering maniac in under a minute was bordering on ridiculous. Fortunately, Human Sunset Shimmer was slightly evil herself, and she was not off-put by the villain. She considered Chrysalis' plan for a moment, then spoke. "That's the stupidest things I've ever heard of," Sunset Shimmer said. "WHAT?" Chrysalis yelled. "That evil plan has more holes than your legs," Sunset said. "You can't conquer the human world! You don't know the first thing about it! They'll squash you like a bug!" "Do you think you can stop me?" Chrysalis asked. "No, I can help you," Sunset Shimmer said. She smiled evilly. "We'll help you conquer this Crystal Empire, but in return, you have to give the Human World to us." Chrysalis thought about it for a moment, and she decided the humans could be useful before she betrayed them. "I accept your offer, Human," she said. "With our combined forces, victory is inevitable!" "What are you doing?" Twilight whispered. "You can't trust supervillains!" "Don't worry," Sunset whispered back. "If it works, we'll have everything we ever dreamed of. And if it doesn't work, we can throw Queen Crappiness under the bus." Queen Chrysalis noticed their whispering, but she didn't care. She was too busy thinking up new lyrics, to a song about her new evil plan. What rhymes well with "human"? Five minutes later, Sunset Shimmer and Queen Chrysalis left the Crystal Palace. Chrysalis was back in her disguise as Twilight Sparkle. "So what's the story behind the crystal ponies?" Sunset asked. "They're made out of crystal? How does that work?" "Crystals have pointy edges," Chrysalis said. "That's what makes the Crystal Empire such a fearsome adversary!" "Couldn't you, like, smash them with a hammer or something?" "I...I never thought of that," Chrysalis said. "I was more focused on the Crystal Kingdom Anthem, which I learned in a day." A flugelhorn sounded, and a troop of Crystal Soldiers passed by. They were carrying their flag of many hues—purple and white—while singing the Crystal Kingdom Anthem. We are the Crystal Empire We are easily defeated Just steal our Crystal Heart And our armies fall apart Chrysalis and Sunset walked to the magical crystal heart. Despite being the only weakness of the city, it was completely unguarded. Sunset reached up and grabbed it. "Hey, what are you doing with the Crystal Heart?" a passer-by asked. "Um...we need to take it in to get polished," Sunset said. "Oh, okay," the crystal pony said. Sunset put the Crystal Heart on the ground and hesitated. "How do I walk while holding this thing?" she asked. "I'll do it," Chrysalis said. She cast a magic glow around the Crystal Heart, holding it in the air. "Unicorns have the power to levitate things." "Sweet," Sunset said. "I gotta figure out how to do that." The two of them walked away. As soon as the Crystal Heart was away from the base of the tower, the Crystal Empire's shield instantly shattered. All the crystal ponies became sad and depressed. The depression quickly turned to fear as a huge swarm of Changelings flew in and attacked the crystal ponies. The attack was very threatening, even if they didn't actually hurt any ponies. While Sunset Shimmer and Queen Chrysalis performed their nefarious task, Human Twilight Sparkle was given the mission of distracting the royals. She walked into the Royal Throne Room, where a white and pink pony were seated. "Twiley!" the white pony said. "Good to see you back here! How did it go?" "Oh...hey...you..." Twilight said. "Crystal King Guy?" The white pony chuckled. "Still jealous that I was the first family member to become royalty, huh?" he said. "Uh...yeah," Twilight said awkwardly. "Your...parents must be proud." "Is something wrong?" Princess Cadance asked. "You don't usually talk to your brother like that." "My...brother?" Twilight asked. Suddenly, everything clicked into place for her. "Shining Armor! You can't be a prince! You always break the rules!" "Ha ha, no I don't!" Shining said. "What about the time we were growing up, and you broke Mom's favorite vase?" "That was totally your fault!" Shining said. "And what about the time you played with matches and set the neighbor's cat on fire?" "Well, the cat shouldn't have been in our house!" Shining said. "And then there's the time you were visiting dirty websites on the Internet, and you accidentally downloaded five hundred viruses onto Dad's computer at work!" Twilight said. "It crashed Apple's offices for five days!" "What's an Internet?" Shining asked, confused. "The Internet is a series of tubes," a nerdy voice lectured. "It is designed to pass information across long distances nearly instantaneously, but it is mainly used as a platform to make fun of other people. I learned about it in the Human World." Human Twilight Sparkle slowly turned around and found herself face to face with the real Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle. Twilight frowned at her. "I came here to help with the changeling invasion," Twilight said. "Looks like I came just in time." "Two Twilights?!" Cadance asked. "It's another changeling!" "But which one is the real Twilight Sparkle?" Shining Armor asked. "I am!" Pony Twilight said, charging up a magic spell. "No, I am!" Human Twilight said. "I mean, she's the one who knows all about that Internet thing." "She's right!" Shining Armor said. "Guards, arrest her!" Human Twilight hid behind Shining Armor, while the guards tackled Twilight Sparkle. The only guard who didn't attack her was Flash Sentry, who was too busy drooling. Two Twilight Sparkles in the same place was one of his fondest dreams. The fight between the guards and Twilight was intense, but they eventually managed to overcome her and drag her to the dungeons. This proved to be the downfall of the Crystal Kingdom, because while the guards were busy with Twilight, the changeling army attacked the castle.
Chapter 5Queen Chrysalis and the changelings burst into the throne room. "HA HA HA!" she said. "At last, I have gotten my revenge on you, Princess Cadance!" "Queen Chrysalis!" Cadance gasped. "I have conquered your territory," Chrysalis said. "Instead of the Crystal Empire, it will be called the Chrystalis Empire! Ha ha ha!" "Guards, seize her!" Shining Armor commanded. The guards tried to attack, but they were still wounded from the fight with Twilight Sparkle. Their defense was pitiful, at best, and they immediately surrendered when Sunset Shimmer pulled out a hammer. Soon, the two royals found themselves tied up in green cocoons, unable to do anything as the changelings took over. In the Crystal Empire's dungeon, Twilight was thrown into the same cell as Pinkie Pie. "Let me out of here! I'm the real Princess Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight shouted. "I'm not a changeling!" "Princess Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Oh my gosh, it's been forever since we've been together!" Twilight turned and glared at Pinkie Pie. She would have charged a magic spell to protect herself, if she hadn't used up her magic in the fight with the guards. "Stay back, Changeling!" she said. "I know you're not Pinkie Pie! She's in Ponyville!" "No no no! You don't understand!" Pinkie said. "I'm the Human Pinkie Pie! I helped you fight Sunset Shimmer during the Fall Formal! Remember?" "Oh yeah? Prove it," Twilight said. "Tell me something only a human would know." "Human girls sit down to use the bathroom," Pinkie Pie said. Twilight's eyes widened. "You're right," she said. "You must be—but that's impossible! The portal only opens once every thirty moons!" "More like thirty days," Pinkie said. "I missed you, so I thought I'd come visit, but everything got all kooky-crazy WEIRD! All I want to do is go home now!" Twilight hugged her lost friend. "Oh, Pinkie, I missed you, too," she said. "I miss all of my human friends, in a deep, sincere way which doesn't affect the series continuity. The fact that I only befriended you because I know your pony duplicates doesn't lessen or cheapen our friendship in any way." "Yay, friendship!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everyone should have friends!" "Except for the changelings, who are evil and beyond redemption," Twilight was quick to add. "We need to figure out some way to protect the Crystal Empire, before they feed on everypony's emotions!" "Right!" Pinkie said. "But maybe we should get out of jail first." She had broken out of jail in the human world four times—long story—so she wasn't too worried about attempting a jailbreak. Back in the human world, the Equestria Girls were being ponytastical, which is a made-up word that means "relevant to the plot of the story". A month ago, Twilight Sparkle saved their world from utter destruction, and according to my watch, it's time for them to repay the favor! "Blah blah blah boys," Sunset Shinner said. "Blah blah blah fashion," Rarity said. "Blah blah blah stereotypical girl thing," Applejack said. "Blah blah blah bacon is delicious," Rainbow Dash said. The important conversation was interrupted, when Fluttershy ran up to the group, with a familiar purple dog in her hands. "Girls! I found Spike!" "Aw, he's just as cute as ever!" Rarity said. She put a finger on Spike's nose. "Aren't you? Aren't you?" Spike growled and bit Rarity, who screamed in pain. She later had to receive a painful rabies shot to ensure she didn't catch any diseases. "Woah, what's wrong with him?" Rainbow Dash said. "I think this is Dog Spike," Fluttershy said. "Um, that is, the Spike from our world. Not the talking Spike." "Huh," Applejack said. She put out her hand and touched Spike's dog tags. "Says here his name is Spike Sparkle. Reckon that means he belongs to the Twilight gal who lives in the city?" "She was here earlier today," Sunset Shimmer said. "I saw her with the human version of me." "Wait, so that's the Twilight Sparkle everyone's been talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Twilight's twin?" Sunset nodded. "The last I saw them, they were both headed for the portal to Equestria." "Are you sure, darling?" asked Rarity. "As I understand it, the portal is closed forever." "The portal opens for a few days every month," Sunset said. "And it's open right now. I know, because the portal's opening is synced with my period." A brief silence fell on the group after that. "...Is that why you turned evil when you first came here?" Applejack asked. "NO!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I just—pony anatomy doesn't work like—I wanted revenge on Princess Celestia, okay? Now let's just get going to the portal!" "An adventure in Pony World? Awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. The four female friends (and the dog) walked across campus to go to the portal. Along the way, they were accosted by Flash Sentry, who was desperately searching for his kind-of girlfriend. When they told him what happened, he frowned. "If the portal's open again, then I'm going with you," Flash Sentry said, with a serious look on his face. "I need to see Twilight again." Once Alicorn Twilight's magic returned, she was able to levitate the keys to the door and escape from the dungeon that way. In the hallway, Twilight and Pinkie met with the group of humans. Working together, they all formed a plan to defeat Queen Chrysalis. It was a brilliant, nuanced plan with very specific roles for everyone involved, and—nah, I'm just kidding. They decided to repeat the plan they used to get Twilight elected as Princess of the Fall Formal. The small group of heroes threw open the doors to the throne room and ran inside. "Stop right there, Queen Chrysalis!" Twilight said. "Release my brother and Princess Cadance!" "Yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "Release her brother and—who?" "Princess Cadance," Twilight said. "The pink princess." "But you told us you were the only pony princess!" Rarity said. "Heh heh..." Twilight chuckled weakly, embarrassed. "Guess I forgot about Cadance." "ENOUGH!" Chrysalis said. She jumped off of the throne and stomped on the floor. Four dozen changelings burst through the windows and landed on the ground in front of her. "Changelings, kill the ponies! Kill them all!" "Um...what about us?" Human Sunset asked. "We helped you!" "I have no further use for you humans," Chrysalis said, predictably betraying her allies. "You can die with the others!" "NO!" Human Twilight screamed. "You won't kill anybody today!" Pinkie Pie said heroically. "Now that my human friends are here, we can stop you, Evil Bug Pony! It's time...to DANCE!" Funky music started playing, as the Equestria Girls broke into a well-rehearsed dance routine. The name of this dance was The Electric Boogaloo. Hey, hey, everybody, We have something to say. Hey, hey, everybody, Hey, hey, hey. These lyrics aren't inspired. We think the writer's tired, Or maybe he's not trying very hard. So hey, hey, everybody, We've got something for you. Hey, hey, everybody, Let's do the Electric Boogaloo. At this point, the ponies danced while there was a wicked flugelhorn solo, courtesy of Flash Sentry. Hey, hey, everybody, We know how to sing. Hey, hey, everybody! Um...something something! Dance, dance, everybody! It doesn't matter if you're a human or a pony. Everybody loves to dance The Electric Boogaloo. At this point, the two Twilight Sparkles jumped up and stood back to back. They were supposed to sing a fantastic duet piece, as part of the song's bridge. Pony Twilight started it off. I know life can be tough, But the power of friendship Helps you through all of your problems! Sadly, Human Twilight had never heard this song before, and she had no idea what the lyrics were. So she just sang the first thing that came into her head. This has been a really weird day. I have no idea what's going on. I just want to go home and check my email. "Yeah!" everyone shouted. Then it was back to dancing. Hey, hey, everybody, We know how to sing and dance. Hey, hey, everybody, Paris is the capital of France. Hey, hey, everybody, Don't kill and make us dead. Hey, hey, everybody, Let's be nice instead. Hey, hey, everybody, What we say is true. Hey, hey, everybody, It's the Electric Boogaloo! The dance ended with everyone doing a cool pose. Tears were streaming down Queen Chrysalis' face when the music stopped. "I surrender!" she said. "There's no way I can defeat your fantastic dance moves!"
Chapter 6Queen Chrysalis returned the crystal heart to its rightful place, before she and the changelings left forever. The crystal ponies rejoiced over the fact that their imprisonment was short-lived, and our heroes talked for a bit in the throne room. "We beat the evil bad guys!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "This adventure in Pony World was actually kind of fun!" "So what happens now?" Fluttershy asked. "Tell you what, why don't you stay here for a couple of days?" Twilight asked. "I can give you all a personal tour of Equestria! You can meet everypony!" "That sounds awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. "Yeah, I can see my parents again!" Sunset Shimmer said. "I'd love to see more of these fabulous crystals!" Rarity said. "Why do I have a tattoo of apples on my butt?" Applejack asked. "Great!" Twilight said. "We can start here with the Crystal Empire, and then I'll take you to Canterlot! That's the capital city, and there's a lot to do there. Then I'll take you to my home in Ponyville, where you can meet your pony duplicates!" "Pony...duplicates?" Rainbow asked. "You know how there's a Human Twilight and a Pony Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer said. "The same thing applies for all of you! There's a Pony Fluttershy, a Pony Applejack, a Pony Pinkie Pie..." "I thought the pony duplicate thing only applied to you and Sunset, because you're special," Fluttershy said. "I mean, you're the only two who went through the portal." "No, it turns out that every pony has a human duplicate!" Twilight said. "The fact that they all attend the same high school is just a coincidence." "You mean everybody at Canterlot High is based on a pony? Even though they're all different ages?" "That's exactly right!" Twilight said. "So come on, I'll introduce you to your pony duplicates! It'll be fun, right?" The humans all looked at each other. Coming to a silent agreement, they all nodded, then galloped as quickly as possible back to the mirror portal. "Huh," Twilight said. Only three of the humanized ponies stayed for the large banquet that the crystal ponies put on. Two of them were Human Twilight Sparkle and Human Sunset Shimmer, both of whom felt embarrassed for their role in helping Chrysalis. When the banquet was over, they spoke with Twilight. "We're going back to our world now," Human Twilight said. "But before we leave, we want to thank you for all you've done." "Yeah," Human Sunset said. "You really taught us how people are supposed to act." "I did?" Twilight asked. "Yes," Human Twilight said. "See, the two of us are roommates, but all we ever do is fight with each other." "But now we're going to follow your example and work together," Human Sunset said. "We don't want to end up like that evil, friendless bug monster." "Sounds like you two learned a lot about friendship," Pony Twilight said. "We certainly did," Sunset said, giving her roommate a hug. "From now on, I'm going to be nice and make friends with everyone!" "Me too!" Human Twilight said. "Even though I'm an introvert, I'm going to put myself out there and meet new friends!" "That's great!" Twilight Sparkle said. She was impressed that these two humans were able to legitimately become nice, without the Elements of Harmony giving them a rainbow-colored friendship beam to the face. After those two left, Human Flash Sentry came up to Twilight. "I should get going back to my world, too," he said. "But before I do, I have something important to tell you. I...I'm in love." "Love?" Twilight asked. "I am madly, deeply, passionately in love with the most beautiful pony in the universe," Flash said. Twilight blushed. "You are?" she asked. "That's so sweet!" Pony Flash Sentry walked up beside Human Flash Sentry and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We're both in love with each other," he said. "We just have so much in common!" "Like we have blue hair, and we play guitar!" "Yeah, so I'm going to follow him to Human World, and we'll live together there!" Flash said. "Sorry things didn't work out between us, Twilight," Flash said sincerely. "But what Flash and I have is real." "You understand, right?" Twilight blinked at the two Flash Sentries. The closest thing she ever had to a coltfriend had just decided to leave her, so he could date himself. "...Remind me to destroy that portal to Human World," Twilight muttered. Everyone had a happy ending after that. The damage to Canterlot High was repaired, Principal Celestia finally went to a tanning salon, and Vice Principal Luna's library book was returned before she accumulated any late fees. The short trip to Equestria cured Pinkie Pie of her minor depression. She ended up finding a nice boyfriend named Perry Bunch. The two Flash Sentries teamed up to start a band, Rainbow Dash won the MVP in the championship volleyball game, Fluttershy cut her hair, and Applejack eventually realized her little sister was too young for high school. Rarity was fascinated by the magical portal's ability to make clothes appear from out of nowhere. She experimented with the portal, and by using mannequins, she was able to get over three hundred outfits for free. She used them to start her own clothing store. Over at the college, Human Sunset became school valedictorian, Human Twilight got over four hundred friends on Facebook, and Dog Spike was neutered. Sunset and Twilight became best friends, as well as roommates. Yes, everything was well and good for the Equestria Girls, but there was one loose end that Rainbow Dash wanted to tie up. After some searching, she finally found the group she was looking for, inside the gym. "Okay, everyone," the black-skinned Human Chrysalis said to her cohorts. "Remember, we need their love. It nourishes us and gives us strength! It's almost like we feed off of their love!" "Hey, are you Chrysalis and the Changelings?" Rainbow Dash asked. Chyrsalis turned to see Rainbow Dash, and her face filled with joy. "OMG! Rainbow Dash!" she said. "Look, it's Rainbow Dash!" All of the cheerleaders jumped up from the ground. As always, they looked cute in their signature black and blueish-green uniforms. They gathered around Rainbow Dash asking questions. "How are you so good at sports?" "Is it true your softball team beat the boys' baseball team?" "We root for you at every game!" Chrysalis, the leader of the cheer squad, had a more relevant question. "How did you know our group's secret name is 'The Changelings'?" "Eh, just a lucky guess," Rainbow Dash said. The End
