Diamonds are a Mare's Best Friend

by CalculusFilly

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3292

When Rarity finds out that Twilight's toys aren't satisfying her, she gives Twilight a rather strange object. What?! A diamond dildo?! Twilight's curiosity is piqued, and she takes it upon herself to study the science behind such a thi

Twilight goes to Rarity, seeking advice about what to when her normal toys aren't satisfying her. Strangely enough, Rarity thinks the answer lies within an unusual object: a diamond dildo! Twilight is perplexed by such an item, and takes it upon herself to study the science behind what would make such a thing so great.

--- The amazing PrinceofPenguins did an absolutely wonderful reading of this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uTRhrbNPVM ---

Published 2013-07-26 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-26 20:40:02 UTC

Why is it made out of diamond?

Twilight smiled as she witnessed Spike run down the stairs with a bag of random items in tow, his eyes full of excitement for what was to come.

“Have fun with the Crusaders, Spike! What exactly are you all planning on doing, anyway?”

Spike paused on his way to the door and glanced over at Twilight, who had tilted her head in curiosity.

“Oh, well, I was going to help them get their cutie marks in…”

Twilight temporarily zoned out, eyes glazing over as she realized that she didn’t actually want to hear what he was going to do today.

“… and then the squids will…”

Twilight quickly shook her head, and gestured suspiciously towards a non-existent clock. She grinned sheepishly.

“Oh, look at the time! You’d better get going. Don’t want to be late!”

She anxiously herded him out of the door, yelling a quick ‘Have fun!’ after him.

When she finally got the door closed and locked behind him, she sighed in relief. She happily trotted up her stairs, her hooves producing a loud ‘clop clop’ noise. When she reached her room, she stealthily locked the door – just in case – and drew her blinds.

She didn’t want anyone to see what she was about to do.

She blushed slightly, and reached under her bed. She fished around for a second, before locating a dust-free cardboard box. She pulled it out, and reread the label.

“Here it is! ‘Totally boring school project things that you would be completely uninterested in.’”

Her horn lit up with magenta magic as she opened the box and levitated a cloth-covered object out.

She giggled slightly as she unwrapped it, revealing the true nature of the item. It was a simple, phallic-shaped toy, clearly meant for use in the bedroom. What was interesting was what it was made out of.

She could see her warped reflection staring back out at her from the diamond object.

Yes, Twilight Sparkle had a diamond dildo.

That had been a very awkward conversation with Rarity. Somehow, the topic at hand had turned to how Twilight’s normal toys weren’t satisfying her.

Rarity’s eyes absolutely sparkled as she recalled something she had hidden in the back room of the shop.

“Oh ho ho, Twilight. I do believe I have just the thing!”

She trotted to the back room, and Twilight could hear her rummaging through some boxes.

Twilight’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Wait wha-“

“AHA! I’ve found it!”

Rarity quickly found her way back to where she was having tea with Twilight and set a fancy box in front of the curious unicorn.

“Rarity, please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“Oh, I can assure you, Twilight, this is most certainly different from whatever you’re thinking of.”

Twilight’s eye twitched as she effortlessly opened the box and levitated a most decidedly strange object in front of her face.

“Rarity… this is a phallic object meant for sexual play, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Twilight, it’s a dildo.”

Twilight’s eye twitched once more.

“Then, pray tell, why exactly is it made out of pure diamond?”

Rarity’s grin widened; she clearly expected that question.

“Well, darling, some of us get bored with more, shall we say, standard means of pleasuring one’s self. I can assure you, Twilight, this little thing will give you the ride of your life. Ever heard the phrase, ‘hard as diamond’?”

Rarity closed her eyes and shivered.

“Well, I can assure you that there is no better way to experience what exactly that means.”

Twilight was just standing there in shock. This was one of the stranger things that had happened this week, and, stranger still, this had nothing to do with Pinkie Pie. Rarity, who she had believed would think such things ‘uncouth,’ had literally just handed her a diamond dildo.

“Wha-? B-I mean- where did you even-“

Twilight just stood and sputtered out half-words and half-sentences.

Twilight grinned.

‘Enough reminiscing. Time for science!’

Twilight eagerly sat down at her desk, where she had a several other dildos set out, made of different gemstones. She had also received them from Rarity, though Rarity hadn’t believed Twilight when she had told her that she needed them for purely scientific purposes.

Twilight’s horn glowed as she picked up a quill and labeled a page on her notebook.

‘Effects of Different Rare Materials When Used in Conjunction with a Standard Pulsation Enchantment.”

She put down the quill and lifted up the dildo made of ruby, applying the aforementioned enchantment.

Ergo, she made it vibrate.

Seeing that the ruby wasn’t holding the enchantment particularly well, she set it down and scribbled something down in her notebook. She went through that process with every single dildo, made of everything from amethyst to emerald, until she got to the diamond one. She blushed slightly.

This one felt different. It was just that much harder than the others.

She applied the enchantment, squeaking and almost dropping it when the vibration echoed through powerfully. She muttered to herself a little bit.

“I wonder what that would feel like…”

She then realized what she said. Her eyes widened.

“No, Twilight! This is for science only!”

With that, she continued her research, adjusting the spell and writing down the different results. Each time the vibrating would start up, she’d squirm on her chair a little bit and force herself to not drop her test subject.

‘I wonder if Rarity has anything to add to my research. I mean, I did get this thing from her in the first place.’

Strangely enough, that thought hadn’t hit her before. She had gotten this from Rarity! It seemed like Rarity had a supply of them. Actually, Rarity probably used one on a regular basis.

Twilight squeaked at the mental image of her friend on her back, driving one the toys in and out of herself.

"W-what? N-no, Twilight, research! Science!”

Twilight physically tried to shake the thought out of her head, trying to go back to “research-mode.”

She picked the diamond dildo back up in her magic and started the vibrations again, listening to how much noise came from the object. She wrote down her observations, and fed twice as much magic in. It buzzed loudly and violently. She found her thoughts had wandered back to her friend, and her hoof had wandered down her body.

“D-damn it…"

She hastily pulled her hoof back up to her workspace, silently cursing her lack of concentration. She managed to pretend that she was actually recording useful information, but only for a moment. Her concentration lapsed once more, and she found her hooves wandering her body as if they had a mind of their own. Twilight sighed, admitting defeat with an angry huff.

"I can't take this."

The diamond dildo still hovering in her grasp, she stumbled over to her bed.

She settled down on her back and slowly spread her hind legs, exposing herself to the room. A delicious tingle ran up her spine, and she squirmed on the bed, her breathing slightly accelerating.

Keeping one hoof pulled to her body, she trailed the other hoof down her chest slowly, massaging it, causing her to sigh contentedly. It leisurely continued its journey, leaving a trail of warmth wherever it went. It neared its destination, before going a decidedly different direction, completely moving away from its original target.

Twilight wanted to be good and ready before going for it.

She unintentionally brushed her hoof on her inner thigh, causing a minute squeak to escape her slightly-parted lips. As she became more bold, her hoof wandered closer and closer to its destination, her breathing accelerating. A shudder slowly ran through her body, and not because she was cold.

When her hoof finally met her soaked nethers, she sucked in a breath, before her tongue snuck out to dampen her lower lip. She simply rested her forehoof there a moment, before slowly beginning to stroke up and down. With each pass, she gently brushed against her clit, causing a spark of pleasure to race up and down her spine.

She really needed to do this more often.

After a while, she deemed herself ready, and pulled her damp hoof back to her chest. Her horn shimmered with magic, pulling the diamond dildo towards her aching need. She allowed it to simply rest against her heated fur for an agonizingly long moment, before beginning to apply pressure to it.

She bit her lip and her eyes slammed shut as she felt it slip in, her own natural lubrication more than enough. She continued pressing inwards, adjusting to the feel of one of the hardest substances in the world invading her marehood. When all but the base was resting inside of her, she let a shaky breath out.

She pulled it out slowly, until only a couple of inches remained inserted.

Let’s get this party started.

She carefully pushed it back in, trying to get… just… the… right… angle…

A jolt of lightening sparked across Twilight’s vision, and she ground against her bed, once more chewing her bottom lip. She couldn’t quite contain her whimpers.

“A-ah! Mmnn…”

She steeled herself for a moment, before grinding the toy against the spot she had located moments earlier.

“Nnng… H-hah…”

Her hoof wasn’t going to let Twilight’s magic do all the work, and it trailed back down her body, meeting her clit at the same time as the diamond dildo thrusted forcefully into the top wall of Twilight’s sex, right into that area that would cause her to see spots.

“A-Ah! F-fuck!”

She swirled the tip of her hoof against the hood of her clit, and began a rhythm of thrusting in the diamond dildo and pulling back slowly. An outright moan escaped the mare’s lips, and she began slowly picking up speed.

She… needed more.

Her horn glowed brighter as she added another spell to that which was holding her dildo inside of her. The diamond dildo gently began to vibrate against Twilight’s inner walls, causing her other hoof to press down into the sheets of her bed in an attempt to stay lucid in spite of the ecstasy assaulting her body. As she began to slowly lose control, the motions made with her hoof became sloppier, and she was forced to pull her hoof up to her chest and extend her magic from the diamond dildo up to her clit, gently squeezing it, still vibrating gently.

When she felt the vibrations, she lost control. She kicked her magic up another notch, the thrusting speeding up, and the vibrations growing in intensity until she was pretty much screaming her head off, hoping no one heard her.

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Rainbow Dash was enjoying her nap above the library, cuddled into a soft cloud, when she heard an ear-piercing scream permeate the area around her. It sounded less scared or injured, and more… pleasured?

Is that…? No way. That sounds like Twilight! Well, then… She sure sounds like she’s enjoying herself.

Rainbow Dash snickered into her hoof. She leapt off of her cloud and hovered outside of Twilight’s bedroom window, trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on inside. When she finally managed to peak in through a gap in the curtains, what she saw made her wings nearly lock up and her tail to start swishing madly.

“Hot.”

Rainbow Dash went and retrieved the cloud she was previously napping on, and formed it into a little nook she could sit in that nopony could see into. She adjusted it until she could see directly into Twilight’s room, and then settled herself into it, very much enjoying the show.

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Twilight, by that point, was nearing the grand finale of the whole thing. What had previously been careful motions became frantic, and she couldn’t even scream anymore; all she could do was whimper.

“A-ah… Ahh! H-hmnnn...”

Twilight could feel herself tensing up as she neared her climax, brutally pounding herself with her diamond dildo, and massaging her clit with her magic.

“I-I’m a-almost… there…”

Twilight once more increased the vibrations of her magic, letting out soft little squeaks and shaky breaths. She was on the home stretch, and nothing was going to keep her from reaching her climax.

Knock knock knock.

Except for the knocking on her door.

Twilight silently cursed the unknown intruder, frantically stuffed the dildo into the box under her bed, and all the dildos on her desk into a drawer.

Is Spike back already? Damn it!

She hastily tried to make herself presentable, and cast a quick air-freshening charm, before opening the door.

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Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened as she witnessed Twilight freak out and then open the door.

Her eyes widened further when the intruder who walked in wasn’t Spike, but Pinkie Pie.

'What the-? Pinkie Pie!? Oh, this is gonna be good.'

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“Oh, uh, hey, Pinkie! How did you even get in here?”

“Hey there, Twilight! My Pinkie Sense told me that something super extra fun was going on in here! From the looks of things, I’m just barely on time!”

“Wha-?! I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Pinkie locked the door behind her. She grinned seductively and slowly slinked towards Twilight, her hips swaying gently back and forth. Twilight was utterly hypnotized, and as such, could not look away. Pinkie just continued walking towards her, tilting her head slightly, giggling quietly.

“Oh? So you weren’t in here pleasuring yourself furiously, dripping all over your own fur? You know, with a diamond d-“

Twilight interrupted Pinkie, not allowing her to finish that sentence. Her face burned brightly.

“S-So what if I was?”

Pinkie grinned, noticing the growing blush on Twilight’s cute little cheeks.

“Hmm… I’d do this.”

Pinkie tackled Twilight onto the bed, trying to wrestle them into the correct position, pressing her lips tightly against Twilight’s own. After a moment, she managed to end up on top of Twilight, with both of Twilight’s forehooves pinned above her head.

A stray thought dashed through Twilight's mind;

All of my friends are absolutely insane.

Pinkie leaned in further, deepening the kiss, swiping her tongue across Twilight’s bottom lip. Twilight allowed Pinkie access, their tongues wrestling in a heated battle. Pinkie pulled back.

“Uh… Pinkie? W-what are you d-doing?”

Pinkie simply leaned down and nibbled on Twilight’s neck tenderly, before leaning up and delivering a gentle lick to her horn.

“You, silly!”

Twilight’s blush grew even hotter, though that wasn’t the only reason she could feel her body heating up.

“P-Pinkie…”

“Yeeeees, Twilight?”

“D-do that again, p-please.”

Pinkie just grinned evilly, knowing that she had won over her target. She teasingly leaned down and flicked her talented tongue across the fluted length of Twilight’s horn. Twilight squirmed on the bed, her back arching, but Pinkie managed to keep Twilight pinned down. Pinkie saw a long ribbon on Twilight’s nightstand, and while it was generally used to keep Twilight’s bathrobe tight on her body, she grabbed it and used it to tie Twilight’s forehooves to the bed frame.

“Wha- Pinkie? What are you doing?”

“Silly Twi! I’m tying you to your bed!”

“I can see that Pinkie, but wh-“

Twilight’s words were cut off as she felt Pinkie trail her tongue down her horn, onto her neck, before continuing the journey downwards. As Pinkie approached Twilight’s soaked marehood, she slowed down, until she was left right above where Twilight needed her to be. Twilight groaned in frustration.

“P-Pinkie, please?”

Pinkie simply shook her head.

“You’re gonna need to do better than that!”

Twilight sighed, before blushing madly and saying words that she hoped would never be repeated to anyone.

“P-Pinkie, I need your t-tongue inside of me! P-please?”

“Much better.”

Pinkie Pie made direct eye contact with Twilight, and grinned. Maintaining that eye contact, she slowly sunk her tongue right into Twilight, watching her features spasm as she felt the wiggling intrusion.

“A-Ah! P-Pinkie! M-more…”

Twilight had been right on the edge when Pinkie barged in, and though she had cooled off a little bit, it still wouldn’t take long for her to hit her peak. Pinkie Pie dragged her tongue up until it she met Twilight’s clit, causing her to violently arch her back, crying out.

“Hnnn! P-Pinkie! D-don’t stop!”

Pinkie stopped for a moment, and reached under Twilight’s bed, grabbing the diamond dildo out of the box, and positioning it at Twilight’s entrance. Confusion danced across Twilight’s features when she felt Pinkie pull away. Her eyes widened and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks when she saw the diamond dildo ready to take her roughly. Pinkie placed a hoof onto Twilight’s clit and began massaging, before pushing in the dildo.

Hard.

Twilight saw stars, pleasure dancing through her brain. It wasn’t quite enough, though.

“Pinkie! F-Fuck! Harder!”

Pinkie, of course, complied with the request, shoving the diamond dildo in and out, rapidly. It still didn’t seem like it was quite enough to push Twilight over the edge. Twilight was just laying there, right at the peak of pleasure, but just barely unable to attain it.

Pinkie smiled at the squirming unicorn, and leaned up to whisper into her ear.

“Cum for me, Twilight.”

She then leaned up further and took Twilight’s horn into her mouth, gently suckling on it.

Twilight screamed, her back arching off of the bed, inner walls contracting around the diamond dildo. This was the best part, the reason that the diamond dildo was so addictive; as Twilight’s muscles spasmed around it, it had absolutely no give. The hardness of it was indescribable. Twilight felt her research was complete.

As each wave of pleasure crashed over Twilight, she whimpered more nonsense, her juices slowly dripping onto Pinkie’s hoof.

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Rainbow Dash’s eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as she pulled a now-sticky hoof away from her nethers, panting hard.

Hot.

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Twilight slowly opened her eyes, still gasping for breath, meeting Pinkie Pie’s gaze. Pinkie was smiling gently down at her.

“Th-that was amazing, Pinkie…”

“Well, that was fun, but I have to go finish baking a cake! See ya, Twily!”

Before Twilight could respond, Pinkie was happily bounding down the stairs, the door closed behind her.

“What-“

Twilight panicked for a moment, because Pinkie left her tied to the bed, before remembering she had magic. She chuckled sheepishly, undoing the knots, before getting up and stretching; her tired muscles protested, and her joints popped, but Twilight couldn't care less.

That Pinkie Pie…

She opened up the door and trotted down the stairs, flipping the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open,’ and unlocking the front door. With impeccable timing, Spike walked in, excitedly mumbling something about Rarity.

“Oh, there you are, Spike! Could you run upstairs and grab ‘Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns: a History’? I was reading it earlier, but I think I left it up there.”

Twilight sighed gently, and turned around, checking to make sure the books on one of the shelves were sorted properly. What Twilight saw when she turned around nearly made her pass out from shock.

It was Spike, happily munching on her diamond dildo.

“Oh, hey Twilight! Here’s your book! It wasn’t on your nightstand, so I thought you might have dropped it, so I checked under your bed, and it was there! There was also a box, with this diamond in it! I figured it was for me. It tastes a little funny, though.”

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! I decided to go for more comedy in this one, but I hope you enjoyed it! As always, constructive criticism is appreciated and welcomed with open arms! I LOVE YOU ALL!

-Calc

P.S. Special thanks to my "Creative Consultant," Nightheart!