The Orange Phoenix Philomena

by Horrible Onion

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Philomena, Spike, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3933

A magical mishap has had an interesting effect on Celestia's prized pet. And now it is up to twilight and Spike find her and change her back.

Flaming Phoenixes and old libraries don't mix. When a small prank turns incendiary, a magical malfunction gives Philomena a new way to see the world. And she is not going to miss the opportunity. No matter what Twilight or Spike have to say about it.

Published 2013-07-26 16:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-26 16:40:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Deep in the Canterlot library a small purple dragon wonders the halls while calling out.

“Twilight! …Twilight?”

“In here spike!” A friendly female unicorn speaks from inside a large dark room filled with dry tomes and aging books. Spike pokes his head inside and sees Twilight with her hooves on a low round table looking over a number of books. The dark atmosphere of the windowless room makes her normally bright purple coat look deep and faded. The room smells of old wood and lamp oil.

“Wow, Celestia really did give you access to the restricted section huh?”

“Yup. I guess it shows how much she really trusts me.”

“So what are all these old books?”

“I came across all these texts about the arcanic components for spells! I’ve been casting teleportation for a while and I never even realized how similar it is to a polymorph spell when reduced to its base arcane elements. Isn’t this just the most exciting thing?”

Spike half listens as the words go right over his head. He looks around into the dark of the hall. The room is cavernous and the light from the few lanterns Twilight had lit fails to even reach past the first aisle. He finds something much more interesting on the ground near the center of the room.

“Hey twilight, what’s this thing on the ground?”

Twilight pulls her snout out of a thick book and walks over to spike. Her hooves echo in the still air.

“Hm? Oh, it looks like an old ritual circle. Some ponies used to think that making symbols and glyphs of power would increase the magical potency of a spell. Everypony now knows that’s not the case at all. Magic comes from inside after all.”

She brushes some of the dirt and dust off its surface revealing a yellow and blue half-moon and half sun. “It’s still odd there would be one here…”

Elsewhere in the palace, Princess Celestia in her gold ornaments sits at a stylish curving wooden desk. She controls a quill against a piece of parchment. The scratching of her writing and occasional light clink of the ink well are the only sounds that fill the room. This is Celestia’s formal office. She would much rather take her work back to her lounging room and rest in front of a nice fire, but formalities and convenience call for otherwise. This room is furnished to impress, not to comfort, so the decor is rather garish on the eyes. The windows have extravagant purple-red curtains trimmed with gold. There are ornate book cases along the wall, also trimmed with gold, filled with records and logs. And to Celestia’s left, beside the door is a large stylized map of equestria.

From a perch near the window, Celestia’s loyal Phoenix, Philomena watches and ruffles her feathers. The red and orange bird lets out a short squawk and shuffles her wings. Celestia puts down her writing implement and looks up at her pet.

“What is it Philomena?” She looks to the large closed window and the orange rays of sunlight shining through. “Oh my, it is late isn’t it? You must be getting restless.” The bird takes a sidestep on her golden perch and makes a chirp. “Here, why don’t you take this to Twilight? I’m fairly certain she’s still in the old part of the library where I left her.”

Celestia blows on the parchment to dry the ink before tying it in a red scroller ribbon. The Philomena then swoops over and takes it in her beak before flying out the door on a single flap.

“What’s a pol… Poly…” Spike has picked up one of Twilight’s found books and is attempting to read from it.”

“Polymorph, spike-“

The rising dust off the table starts to get the better of spike and he begins to take big gasping breaths.

“Oh no you don’t!” Twilight lights her horn and pulls the book from spike before he sneezes a gout of green flames. “You are not going to destroy these books. Do you know how valuable these are?”

“It’s not like I can control my sneezes, sheesh.”

Twilight mulls over the book in her enchanted grasp and closes it. The spine gives a dusty creak from age as she closes the bindings.

“These are so ancient they are going to break apart just by reading them.”

“Come on twilight, it’s boring here, at least let me look at them.”

“Unfortunately these don’t have pictures in them spike. She turns the book around in her hooves considering it. These are all pretty dry content wise, even for me. These were the only books even worth reading on this side of the room. If you want you can check down that way and see if anything catches your eye.”

Twilight points with a hoof down the other side of the long dark room.

“Uh… But its dark.” Twilight rolls her eyes and picks up a small oil lamp and hands it to Spike. “Gee thanks. I’m sure this will protect me from whatever horrible monsters are lurking in there.” He motions to the looming halls of books behind him.

“You asked for something less boring.”

“I guess…”

He takes the lamp and begins walking out of the well-lit area twilight is occupying.

The phoenix Philomena exercises her considerable agility as she flies through the halls of the palace. When there is a pair of guards walking together she will either tuck her wings together and bolt in between them or spread her feathers wide and cut between them with a sideways turn. To any onlooker it is apparent that Celestia’s phoenix enjoys buzzing bystanders. Unlike the princess, her pet enjoys being a pain in the flank at times.

Philomena, scroll in talon, takes an abrupt swerve into the palace kitchen as a server makes his exit through the easily pushed open double doors. She veers deftly in between the ponies shuffling about the stoves. She makes for a window narrowly avoiding the flames of a grease fire to ensure the safety of her letter before shooting out into the empty air. It’s much easier to reach the library from outside without the commotion of the ponies.

Only three flaps of her wings takes her to the Library windows. Finding an open one is easy enough. She pulls her wings close as she darts through the gap then attempts to go find Twilight in nearly untouched restricted section.

Spike attempts to take in the magnitude of the old part of the library as he wonders the hall with his lamp. The light of the flame casts flickering shadows over the columns and book shelves. Unlike the popular portion of the library, this section is like a castle. There is a stale air about it and the cold stone underfoot makes it unwelcoming. Any adventurous attitude the small dragon had about his endeavor is rapidly fading.

“Maybe I should just head back to Twilight.”

Just then a pair of narrow yellow eyes pop out of the darkness and look directly at spike who freezes in place.

“Whats that?”

A low evil screech echoes him and spike’s spines almost shoot directly off of his back. In a panic he grabs two books from a shelf and hurls them at the beast.

“Stay back!”

He hears one connect with a whump and doesn’t wait for a rebuttal before taking off through the walls of books. Philomena shakes her head trying to get stars out of her eyes. That cheeky dragon through a book at her! She takes a glance to the scroll that landed next to her and decides it can wait for just a bit. It’s not going anywhere. As for spike, revenge is in order. She spies the purple nuisance screaming as he shoots down the narrow aisles of wooden shelves. She takes off in pursuit and locks in on spike. Her predatory gaze is unwavering. Philomena lights her wings with flame in the way only phoenix’s can. Fire is useless against a dragon, but it’s mostly just for intimidation. Philomena has no intention to actually hurt spike, just a nip on the tail to make him think twice about throwing books at her.

Unfortunately spike has lost any sense of direction in the spirit of running. He takes off through corridors of books and endless halls of tomes. Just trying to find twilight so she can zap whatever is chasing him. He takes a cautionary glance back to look at his pursuer. Thankfully it’s no horrendous monster, but a blazing phoenix isn’t much better. Philomena has underestimated how spry the dragon truly is he has managed to evade her so far. But in her tunnel vision to gain on her prey, the effect her flaming wings have had on the library. As her feather tips brush the shelves and papers, a few licks of flame have caught and start to spread.

Twilight takes a second more substantial look at the floor carvings. It looks like it was once much more intricate, but age has wiped away a lot of the color. Maybe if she had some reference materials she would be able to place its historical significance, if any. Her peaceful train of thought is soon shattered as she hears the frantic calling of her name.

“Spike?” she lifts her head. “Where are you?”

Spike finds an aisle he recognizes and makes down it at the end he sees the light of lit lamps and… “Twilight!”

She looks down the long aisle of books she sees spike come barreling toward her with a phoenix hot on his tale, quite literally. More surprising than that however, is the raging inferno that follows. The whole room is suddenly filled with bright orange light and heat from burning books and dry wood. Smoke begins to cover the ceiling.

Philomena slowly closes in on spike’s tail she opens her beak only to have him stop immediately as he reaches Twilights leg. She smacks right into him and her wings go out. She looks up to see a horrified purple unicorn.

“I need to get Celestia! Stay close.”

She warms up her horn and then blinks out of existence, leaving behind a glowing circle on the floor.

***

“Princess Celestia!”

Suddenly a flash and a pop and the peace and quiet is gone. Celestia spins around with an uncertain look on her face.

“Twilight? What’s going on? Who’s that with you?”

Suddenly Twilight feels an unpleasant gurgle in her stomach as her face goes from purple to green in an instant. Spike fare little better as he runs to the window to empty his stomach. Celestia with a look of concern levitates a trash bin over to her student for her to use. She takes it in her hooves and holds it close as she shoves her muzzle into it. After a moment of retching she looks to Celestia and weekly says.

“…Fire… in the old library, you got to hurry …all those books-“ Once her message has been more or less given, she takes another heave in the bucket.

Celestia is one to know when twilight is being serious so she puts on a stern face of realization.

“Stay here twilight, I’ll come back once the fire is dealt with.”

Twilight starts to nod but then puts her face back to the bucket for a few more wet retches as the princess leaves her. Once the princess is gone Twilight wearily lifts her head from the now reeking pail.

“Teleportation is never that intense… what happened?” She spits into the bucket a couple of times trying to get the taste out then turns to spike who is slumped under the window. “You O.K. spike?” As the question leaves her mouth she realizes they aren’t the only two in the room. There’s a second pony sitting in the center of the office with the dazed-and-confused look all about her. Twilight has no idea who this pony is and gives her a curious once over. She seems to be an ordinary pegasus mare with a Smooth pale-orange coat. Her wings sport beautifully elegant red primaries that accent the others. Her mane and tail have standout purple locks that fit easily with the rest of her lobster colored hair. Twilight racks her brain for an answer. She feels as though she should know her, but can’t place it. A glance at her cutie mark sparks a thought. It’s a red wing wreathed in flame. Twilight looks over to Celestia’s desk and at the empty golden perch next to it. And then slowly back to the new pegasus. With a low and uncertain voice she asks;

“…Philomena?”

The orange pony’s eyes focus and her ears perk up as if she suddenly snaps out of a trance. She looks at Twilight and gives a weak and very unpony-like “squawk!” that cracks in a manner befitting Sweetie Belle.

Twilights eyes widen and she makes a frown. “Oh….no.”

“Twilight?” Spike rasps from his position on the ground. “What’s going on?” He points to the new orange pegasus.

“I’m… not exactly sure.”

Now Philomena has started to regain some of her sense and starts to look around questioningly. A glance down and her eyes widen in fear. She looks at her hooves and then attempts to shake them off franticly while backing up into a wall. Seeing the new pony is about to have a mental break, Twilight moves to calm her.

“Relax, don’t freak out.”

The pegasus does exactly the opposite of her suggestion and instead squawks and throws her legs around trying to propel herself. Clearly unused to her new limbs she instead smacks Twilight in the face and then scrambles on the ground for a bit.

Twilight just sighs and rubs her blunted nose. She moves back to avoid being hit again. Philomena clearly isn’t going anywhere fast so she doesn’t move to hold her down. She quietly hopes the former phoenix tires herself out quickly.

“Something must have gone wrong when I teleported us.”

“So… Princess Celestia’s phoenix is now a pegasus?” Spike asks. Twilight is wracking her brain trying to think of what went wrong.

“I never transported a pony, a phoenix and a dragon all at once before, maybe something went badly there?” For a moment she considers the possibility that the circle on the ground actually contributed to their predicament. But how could it? Twilight could reference multiple texts that prove runic circles have absolutely no bearing on spells cast. Something went wrong when she herself cast the spell.

Spike moves closer to the new pony to get a better look at her. She is quickly coming to terms with her situation and begins to slow her flailing.

“Wow. I wonder what it’s like.”

“I need to do some research in transmogrification. Maybe we can still get into the new section of the library. Hopefully the fire didn’t spread too fast and was contained within the restricted section. Listen to me, talking like this isn’t the worst travesty ever. All those burned books!”

She glances to Philomena who has relaxed some and is testing out her new lips making loud raspberries. “I guess I can’t do much about it now. But maybe I can fix just this one mess.” She points with her hoof to Philomena.

“But the Princess said we should stay her and wait for her.”

“I know but... I’m worried about what the princess will think when she finds out her phoenix is now a pony.”

Philomena has moved on to testing her hooves. As she sits she rolls her front hoof around on the floor, getting a feel for it. She places her two fore hooves firmly on the ground and attempts to stand. She gets her rump off the ground and then tries to place her hind leg underneath her. Immediately she loses balance and all her legs slip out from underneath her with a “whump.”

“Twilight, remember what you said about the last time something like this happened? Fluttershy stole Philomena away and you were worrying about being banished? Everything would have been much easier if you just went to Celestia in the first place.”

“Spike, since when are you the voice of reason? …But you’re right. This isn’t the time to be gallivanting off trying to find a spell that Celestia probably knows off the top of her head. Once she has the fire under control she’ll come back, we’ll explain what happened, and then she’ll turn Philomena back into a phoenix again. Or if not I’m sure she’ll know how.”

Philomena’s ear perks at this. All she has to do is stay put and she can have her old body back. She takes a look at her new hooves and legs. A coat of hair feels so much different than a coat of feathers. She will have her own body back soon enough. But does she want it back? How many cycles has she gone through? How many times has she been reborn a phoenix? Too many to count. Now she has a chance at being something different. She still has wings even! If she was stuck to the ground things would be different, she would want nothing more than to be a bird again. But now… There are brand new experiences to be had. She can see the world through the eyes of a pony. She can see how they live from their perspective. Philomena hasn’t even thought about it until now. And the more she ponders it the more she realizes what a unique opportunity it is. She is not ready to be a phoenix again. Not yet. Celestia will come through eventually, but for now, she may as well take advantage of the situation.

Philomena gives her wings a good flap to make sure they work properly. Thankfully she hasn’t forgotten how to fly. Her legs still betray her however. She attempts to stand once again, more cautiously this time. She places all her hooves firmly on the ground and with a level push…

“Hey look who can stand after all.” Spike comments. Philomena gives a rough chirp and glares at him. “Still not over me hitting you with a book huh?”

“You hit Philomena with a book?” Twilight asks.

“Well at least I didn’t set the library on fire.” Philomena gives an astonished questioning chirrup. How accusatory of him. As if she wanted to set the place on fire. There was no way for her to know everything would go up in flames at the drop of a hat. Were books always so flammable?

Philomena attempts to swiftly turn her back on spike in a huff and in doing so tangles her legs again and lands promptly on her face.

“Don’t antagonize her spike. I’m sure it’s more than a little traumatic.” She helps Philomena to her hooves again. “It must be like learning to walk all over again.”

She was right; Philomena might not even learn to walk before Celestia comes back. How long does it take to magically put out a fire anyway? She needs to escape before that happens. Philomena takes a shaky step forward on her right leg. Now for the right back leg… wrong. That was the wrong leg. And her steps were far too big. She is still sanding but can feel herself slowly loose balance and start to lean to the right. She looks back at herself and tries to think before she falls. Just put the same leg back, clearly. She lifts the hoof off the ground and immediately realizes this was a mistake as she completely loses balance and starts falling. She lets out a squawk before hitting the ground.

“I could watch this all day.” Spike says as he sits down and takes an observant pose.

“Come on Spike, she could be delirious. I’m going to go get her some water, stay here and watch her.”

“You’re making me watch her?”

“Yes spike, I’ll be back in a bit, just make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.” Then Twilight leaves through the open door.

Philomena watches Twilight leave, looking at her legs. Right side, left side, front leg, back leg. It’s handy information to have. But after a number of face-plants, suddenly she feels like giving the walking thing a rest for now. She flexes her wings and looks at spike, who already seems bored out of his mind.

It’s now or never. She gives her wings a testing half flap to get a feel, and then pushes off the ground and into the air. Spike looks up with a curious glance and she gives him the tongue before shooting out of the room and into the hall.

“Oh-no. Stop!”

Anything else he might have said is lost to the wind in her ears as she weaves through the halls. The first thing she notices is how heavy she feels with these comparatively small wings. Her agility is greatly reduced as well so dodging columns and corners requires a bit more fore-thought. Every so often one of the guards would take notice of her and yell;

“No flying in the halls!” Or some other similar command. This did not deter the pegasus and she sped forward. Oh how nice flying is. There is a smile on her face but it would be much nicer outside in the open air. She looks side to side searching for an open window she can slip through. No such luck with so much stained glass around. Why did the princess insist in having every little event immortalized in glass? It never made sense to Philomena. Abruptly her flight was cut short as she slammed into a pair of ponies with a Whump. A burst of loose paper shoots into the air and settles slowly around them as Philomena attempts to make the world stop spinning. After a moment to collect herself and untangle her legs yet again she sees one of the ponies she hit, a unicorn with glasses and a brown mane done up in a bun franticly attempting to collect papers as they float to the ground. The second thing she sees is a terribly angry Pegasus guard shouting really fast and really loud.

“Well?”

He obviously expects some sort of explanation and Philomena isn’t quite sure what to say. So instead of saying anything she makes a Tweeeeet into the guards face and speeds off again. Both the guard and Unicorn blink, and once the guard pony realizes his authority has not been recognized his face turns to a serious scowl.

“…Hey! …Get back here!”

The thrill of a chase is lost on most ponies. Their easy-going and sheltered lifestyle leaves little room for proper action and heart pounding chases outside of fillyhood. Philomena shows them again what frustrating fun it can be. Her wings move so quickly as with the echo of the halls it is difficult to hear the individual wing beats. There is only a rush of air as an Orange blur rushes through gaps of confused ponies. An open sky light signals the end of the chase and Philomena attempts to leap up through it. However her comparatively weighty rump crashes into the frame and knocks the bar holding the window open. With a shunt it comes slamming down onto her tail as she flies away, leaving a tuft of tail hair caught in the skylight. She Chirps in the moment of pain and then vanishes into the city.