A rainbow streak blasted out of the train before it had even come to a stop. Rainbow Dash hovered in the air, kicking her legs in excitement. “Omigosh omigosh omigosh we’re here we’re finally here!”
Her friends stepped onto the train platform and stretched groggily, coming awake after the long train ride. Twilight giggled at her. “You sure got lucky, winning this vacation.”
“Thank you for inviting us,” said Fluttershy.
“Well, of course. Like I'm going to win the Official Daring Do Fan Club contest and not take my best friends along on their first trip to Dizzyland?”
“I was just certain you would win, darling. That ‘rock and roll’ you performed as your entry was quite, um, energetic.” Rarity smiled toothily.
Dash polished a hoof on her chest and inspected it coolly. “What can I say? Daring Do inspires me.” She raised her eyes, finally noticing the enormous canvas banner strung across the entrance to Dizzyland, advertising the grand opening of the theme park’s new Daring Do-land. She squealed, all coolness forgotten. “Oh my gosh this is so awesome it opens tomorrow and I’m gonna meet Daring Do!”
Pinkie Pie thrust a hoof in the air. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get in there and have some fun!”
The suggestion met with a chorus of cheers, and the six ponies headed through the gates into Dizzyland.
The crowd was much denser inside the park than the single trainload on the platform had suggested. Fluttershy glanced around uncertainly at the throng of ponies and edged closer to her friends. A boisterous family of earth ponies trotted past them, and Fluttershy squeaked in dismay and hid behind Twilight, quivering with nervousness.
Oblivious, Twilight produced a checklist from her saddlebags. “My research into theme parks suggested an ideal course of action to achieve maximum enjoyment. So I made a list!”
Dash groaned. “A list? This is supposed to be fun, Twilight.”
Twilight cocked her head in puzzlement. “The list will make sure we have fun. It’s a fun list.” Dash just shook her head. “And the first item on the list is ‘get to the park.’ Item one: check! Item two is. . . ‘enter the park.’” Twilight looked around triumphantly. “Item two: check! Item three—”
Fluttershy had craned her neck around Twilight’s flank to read the list, and she interrupted excitedly. “A petting zoo! There’s a petting zoo here?”
Twilight frowned and scanned down the list. “Well, yes, but it’s not until item twenty-seven, so—”
“I’ll be there, then. Please excuse me.” Yellow wings lifted her a few feet off the ground, and she flitted off. A moment later, she returned. “Um, how do I get there? This is such a big place.”
“Just a moment.” Twilight’s pencil scratched quickly at a fresh sheet of parchment, which then floated over to Fluttershy. “Here’s a map.”
“Oh, thank you, Twilight.” Fluttershy turned and flapped away.
Pinkie stopped her. “Wait! Before you go, let’s all make plans to meet for lunch. There’s a place that has the best beer-battered grass you’ve ever had, I promise. It’s right by the clock tower in the middle of the park, so it’ll be easy to find, too. Let’s meet at the tower at lunchtime, OK?”
The others murmured agreeably. Fluttershy demurely dipped her head in thanks and slowly flew off just above the crowd.
Dash threw out her hooves in frustration. “OK, great, now can we get to doing stuff?” Twilight lifted her checklist to the ready, and Dash scowled at her. Twilight grinned sheepishly and deposited the list in her saddlebag. Dash scanned the area. “Looks like Daring Do-land is that way. Let’s go!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “It ain’t even open yet, sugar cube. Whatcha wanna go there for?”
“Oh, I. . . just want to know where it is. Yeah! So we can find it tomorrow, nice and easy.” With that, she flew off at a brisk trotting pace.
Applejack pushed her hat back. “Well, that don’t make a lick of sense.”
Rarity clucked her tongue. “Applejack, darling, don’t you see? Rainbow Dash is as giddy as a filly. Why, she can hardly contain herself. She wants to be closer to Daring Do, even if she can't see her until tomorrow. Our Rainbow just doesn’t want to admit that she’s that excited, is all.”
Pinkie Pie hopped past them. “Analyze Rainbow Dash later! Follow Rainbow Dash now!”
They worked their way through the crowd, catching up to the rainbow-colored tail ahead of them. Just as they reached her, she screeched to an abrupt halt. “Omigosh, look at that!” She squealed excitedly and zipped towards a life-size painted statue of Daring Do a short distance away. The others arrived a moment later and watched Dash hovering back and forth in front of the statue. A frown grew on her face.
“Uh, sugar cube, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Try everything!”
Twilight surveyed the statue. “It looks fine to me, Dash. The workmareship is excellent.”
“Excellent? Excellent? Daring Do’s mane is wrong! There’s not supposed to be black in her forelock! But look! Black! And they reversed the order of the colors, too! This is not cool at all. What kind of two-bit place is this?”
Applejack spoke soothingly. “Now, Rainbow, it’s a big place, you can’t expect ‘em to get everythin’ right all the time. Let’s just keep goin’, and Ah’m sure the next thing’ll be right as rain.”
Rainbow Dash sighed as she landed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, AJ. Let’s go.”
They walked into the crowd, pressing on towards Daring Do-land. Dash’s mood lightened with every step, and soon she took to the air again, circling above the others as they forged ahead through the carpet of ponies.
Dash was flying backwards and conversing with Applejack and Pinkie Pie when the earthbound ponies stumbled into an eddy in the crowd. A clear space had formed around actresses portraying two of the famous Dizzy princesses, who had stopped to pose for pictures with several young foals.
Twilight oohed. “Those gowns are beautiful! Don’t you think so, Rarity?”
Rarity tsked at her. “Twilight, dear, costumes are not gowns. . .” She trailed off, squinting. “My, my. Now that I look at them, they really are quite fine, aren’t they? The material in the hem—daring—and the shape of the sleeves—how avant-garde!—and the, hm, ooh, and the, yes. . .” Her pencil and sketchpad floated from her saddlebag and began scratching away as she continued murmuring to herself.
The photo taken, the princesses continued gracefully down the street, and Rarity unconsciously followed in their wake, still sketching furiously.
Pinkie Pie waved cheerfully at Rarity’s back. “See you at lunch, Rarity! Have fun!” An absent wave of a hoof was the only reply.
Dash rolled her eyes. “Princesses. Why does it always have to be princesses? Whatever, let’s keep going, I wanna get there sometime today.”
They pressed on, following various signs pointing the way towards Daring Do-land. The four ponies rounded a corner onto a slightly less crowded street and gasped in unison. The wall of the building they’d just turned past was painted with an enormous and detailed mural. In the mural, Daring Do was standing on her hind legs, balancing herself with one hoof on a carved stone sun and reaching the other hoof to depress one of hundreds of inscribed cobblestones set into the wall in front of her.
Dash hovered for a moment, mouth agape. Then she snapped her mouth shut and flung her arms skyward. “Oh, what the hay is this?”
Applejack cast a pleading glance at the others, but Twilight was sipping from a water bottle and looking around with interest, and Pinkie Pie was bobbing in place with her eyes closed and humming cheerfully. Applejack sighed in resignation. “Alright, Rainbow, what now?”
“She’s pressing the ‘C’ stone! In Ancient Equestrian, Celestia's name begins with a ‘K’! What are they doing? How did that get past quality control? And another thing, she's wearing the wrong hat! That's the hat from the first three books, but she lost it in the Perilous Pincushion Pit of Peril in Daring Do and the Lachrymose Loa! The Celestial Cobblestones were in Daring Do and the Silver Sundial, and by then Professor Pear had given her a new hat as a gift to celebrate her getting the Onyx Flute from Ish Kabibble’s dungeon, and that hat had a yellow band, not a green one. And then there’s. . .” Rainbow Dash continued complaining, and Applejack gritted her teeth and continued nodding sympathetically.
When Dash finally took a breath, Applejack turned to Twilight. “Hey Twi, you’ve read these books too, can ya maybe talk some sense into Rainbow—“ She stopped abruptly, realizing that Twilight hadn’t heard a word she’d said. Instead, she was looking up the street and then down the street, regular as a metronome, her water bottle drifting upside-down and forgotten next to her. Applejack followed her gaze, but didn’t see anything of interest. She came up next to Twilight. “Uh, Twi? Whatcha lookin’ at?”
“Oh, AJ, hello. This is fascinating, really. See the street sweepers?” She gestured with a hoof at two stallions wearing white uniforms and pulling wheeled dustbins. The stallions were methodically sweeping up litter from the street as they walked.
“Ah see ‘em, but what’s so fascinatin’ about ‘em?”
“I’ve been watching them since we arrived, and according to my observations, no spot in the park goes more than six minutes and thirty seconds without being swept. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh. . .kay?”
Twilight beamed at her, her eyes alight with the thrill of discovery. “The scale of organization it must take to keep a theme park this size running on such a tight schedule is amazing! I have to know what’s going on behind the scenes to keep everything running so smoothly. I could learn so much!” Her water bottle deposited itself in her saddlebag and a notepad and pencil floated out. “See you at lunch!”
Applejack watched bemusedly as she set out towards one of the street sweepers, wearing what Applejack always thought of as her puzzle-solvin’ frown. “Uh, yeah, see ya at lunch, Twi.”
Pinkie Pie’s stomach growled ferociously. She leaped to her hooves, ready for action. “It’s time for cupcakes! Wait, that’s silly. It’s always time for cupcakes. Unless you’re already eating cupcakes, then it’s time for some milk. Ooh, or pancakes.”
Applejack furrowed her brow in confusion. “Pancakes?”
“Uh-huh! Pancakes and cupcakes are both cakes, so they taste great together!”
“Ah don’t think that’s how it works, sugar cube.”
“Oh, Applejack,” Pinkie said with an eye roll and a tolerant smile. “I’m gonna go get some brunch to munch. Don’t forget about lunch!” She hopped away, singing a song about improbable food pairings.
Applejack shook her head and returned to Rainbow Dash, who had run out of steam at last and was sitting on the ground with her arms crossed, seething. “It’s just you an’ me, Rainbow. We’ve got some time ‘fore meetin’ the girls for lunch, so get on up an’ let’s find somethin’ fun to do ‘til then.” She prodded Dash into motion with her head.
“Yeah, yeah, fine.”
The frown stayed on Dash’s face as they walked through the crowd. Applejack pointed out shops and attractions, hoping to perk her up by engaging her interest, but she stayed downcast, passively following along next to Applejack. They had taken a few turns at random when Applejack’s ears pricked up at the sounds floating on the breeze. She led them under a rough-hewn log arch emblazoned Wild West-land, past a group of foals playing with padded lassos in an enclosure marked Mild West-land, and towards the sounds that had attracted her attention.
“Boy howdy, would ya look at this! It’s like a carnival, or a rodeo. . . a rodeo-carnival? Never mind. ‘Lasso The Varmint,’ ‘Buck The Deputy,’ this all looks right fun, dontcha think, Rainbow?” She turned to the pegasus with a pleased smile.
“Oh, yeah, um, looks great, AJ. You, uh, you go on ahead without me.”
“Well, alright, if’n ya really don’t mind, Ah think Ah’ll do just that. Yee-haw!” She trotted off towards the nearest game stall.
Alone in the crowd, Rainbow’s head sank and she morosely left Wild West-land. She passed under the log arch and her eyes fell on a sign pointing the way towards Daring Do-land. Her head came up with a look of determination.
She stamped a hoof on the ground. “The real Daring Do is in here somewhere, and I’m gonna find her!” She leaped into the air and zoomed off towards Daring Do-land.
She touched down in front of the sealed gate, the banner strung across it proclaiming that the grand opening would be tomorrow. Dash looked around, her spirits rising. The gateposts were marked with zebra glyphs, the same ones that had warned trespassers away from their territory in Daring Do and the Shadow of the Savannah. The arch above the gate was made to look like a string of skulls. Dash was elated to see that the skulls were from lions and hyenas except for the middle two, which belonged to ponies. “Doc Livingstone and Filly Fatale! Just like Daring Do and the—”
“—Wretched Hive, oh, that was a good one!” A nearby voice interrupted.
“Boy, it sure was, I especially liked when Daring punched the king of the—” Dash tore her eyes away from the skulls and stopped short.
“The king of the hippos, yes, I certainly didn’t think I’d be getting out of that one with my skin intact! He did have it coming, though.” The pony stuck out a hoof to Dash. “Daring Do. A pleasure to meet you, Miss. . .?”
“Daring Do?”
“Yes, and to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”
“You’re Daring Do?”
“Um. . . yes?”
Dash stared her down coldly. “You’re a unicorn! Those are fake wings. And not even good ones! And your fake cutie mark is stuck on upside-down! Gaaah! What is wrong with this place? I don’t believe this!”
The ersatz Daring Do opened her mouth to reply, then snapped it shut as Dash angrily took flight, leaving an accusatory rainbow column in her wake.
=/==/==/==/==/==/
High above Dizzyland, Dash lay on a fluffy cumulus, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She roughly wiped them away, angry at herself for crying when she was only mad, mad at that fake Daring Do for thinking she could fool her, mad at the park for having so much dumb, stupid Daring Do stuff, mad at Walk Dizzy and every cartoon he'd ever starred in, mad at the Official Daring Do Fan Club for having that stupid contest, mad at herself for being stupid enough to enter that stupid contest, mad at her friends for not telling her that it’ll be all right and that she was just getting worked up over nothing. . .
She wiped away more tears and sniffed. She could hear her friends’ voices in her head. Fluttershy would sit close to her and say it’d be all right, and Pinkie would say something ridiculous that would make her laugh, and Rarity would say that all that crying would ruin her complexion and give her a hanky to blow her nose into, and Applejack would say she’s gettin’ all worked up over nothin’, and Twilight would agree with Applejack and start talking about something she had read about just this sort of thing.
She drew a shuddering breath. “Oh Celestia, I really am acting like a foal.” She sniffed hard and chuckled at herself. “The gate was perfect. All the stupid stuff must be outside Daring Do-land. They must have done all the work inside, not outside. Yeah, when we get in there tomorrow, everything will be perfect.” She wiped her eyes dry and sat up. “It’ll all be fine. I’ll just ignore the stupid stuff for the rest of today and look forward to tomorrow.” She nodded firmly, then noticed that she was hungry. “Heh, I guess all that mad really takes it out of you.” The position of the sun said it was almost lunchtime, so she spiraled down towards the clock tower to meet the others.
=/==/==/==/==/==/
Rarity pushed away her empty plate. “Fluttershy, dear, that sounds delightful. I’m glad you had a good time today.”
Fluttershy discreetly dabbed at her lips with a cloth napkin. “Oh yes, it was wonderful. Twilight, how was your morning?”
Twilight was staring intently at the thick sheaf of notes shuffling themselves in midair. “Huh? Oh, right. It was great!” She beamed. “I followed the street sweepers for fifty-three minutes, confirming my prior observations. Then they went to the Park Operations Headquarters, and I disguised myself as a trash can and snuck inside to see what I could learn.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. “Uh, sugar cube? Why didn’t ya just ask somepony if ya could have a look around?”
Twilight paused and looked thoughtful. “That’s funny, that’s just what the Operations Manager said when security brought me to her. Anyway, she was amazing. So organized. She let me watch her work for the rest of the morning, and I learned so much from her.” The sheaf of notes neatly stacked itself and floated into her saddlebag. “I can’t wait to get home and put all these new techniques into action!” She rubbed her hooves together eagerly.
Applejack shook her head dubiously. “Yeah, you have fun with that, hon’. Now, mah mornin’ was jes’ great. Ah showed alla them mechanical varmints a thing or two, an’ Ah roped enough of ‘em to win me this here snazzy vest.” She hooked her hooves into the lapels of her new vest, displaying it proudly to the other ponies around the table. They politely oohed and aahed. “Why, it’s even got the Wild West-land star on the back, see?” She turned so they could see the gaudy patch stitched across the back of the vest. At the sight, Rarity winced and gritted her teeth.
Applejack sat down again. “Ah betcha didn’t see anything like this here vest today, didja, Rarity?”
“What? Ahem, excuse me. I mean, no, I certainly did not see anything like ‘that there vest’ today. Ah ha ha, ha.” She took a sip of water and cleared her throat demurely. “What I did see was quite enthralling, however. Those lovely ‘princesses’ and I got to talking, and one thing led to another and they introduced me to the Head Designer and the Head Seamstress, both of whom were simply delightful. We had tea and compared designs and techniques, and their ideas were just so inspiring. I have dozens of new designs to work on when we get home. I can’t wait to begin putting all these new techniques into practice.” She rubbed her hooves together eagerly, exactly as Twilight had, then realized that everypony else was staring at her with amusement. She dropped her hooves and coughed. “Anyway, that was my morning. Pinkie dearest, what did you find to do?”
Pinkie grinned hugely. “You mean what didn’t I find to do! I went to the Dizzyland Sweet Shoppe, then the Dizzyland Sweet Stoppe, then Dizzyland Candyland, then the Dizzyland Candy Co., then Dizzyland Candies ‘n’ Sweets, then Dizzyland Sweets ‘n’ Candies, then I got a little dizzy from all the candies and sweets, but then I felt better and went to the Dizzyland Dizzy Doughnut Center, which is kind of funny because doughnuts don’t have centers but anyway then I went to Dizzyland Bakery and had Dizzy Cakes, Dizzy Cookies, and Dizzy Cupcakes, oh my, and then I went to the Dizzyland Milk and Toast Bar to get some milk and that place was strange because there were a lot of shy stallions in there but anyway then I was hungry from all that eating and it was just about lunchtime anyway so I came here and met you and then we had lunch and then Rarity asked me what I found to do and I said, ‘you mean what didn’t I find to do—’”
Pinkie Pie broke off to snap a fast-moving crouton out of the air, which she chewed happily. Rainbow Dash flicked a second crouton at her. “Alright, we get it, geez.”
“Okie-dokie! What did you do, Dashie? You must have had just the bestest day ever, right?”
Dash looked away and rubbed the back of her neck. “Ha ha, yeah, best day ever, yup.”
“Did you meet Daring Do?” Pinkie gasped excitedly. “You met Daring Do, didn’t you?”
“Uh, sort of. Look, let’s not talk about me. There are some roller coasters and other rides over thataway, we should all go have some fun together. Sound like a plan?” She smiled broadly, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
Murmurs of agreement went around the table. They tossed bits into the center of the table and pushed back their chairs. Applejack stayed seated a moment longer, staring hard at Rainbow Dash, sympathy in her eyes.
Dash refused to look at her. “Come on, guys, let’s go have some fun.”
=/==/==/==/==/==/
Late that evening, Rainbow Dash fished out the key to her hotel room and six giggling ponies piled in and flung themselves down in exhaustion all over the room. Fatigue took over, and their giggles faded to silence. Deep breathing was the only sound as tired ponies rested.
After a while, Applejack rolled her head on the floor to look at Pinkie, who was sprawled upside-down in an overstuffed chair. “Kumquat,” she deadpanned.
Pinkie stared back at her and held a straight face for a moment, then burst into peals of laughter, kicking her legs in the air.
Applejack guffawed at her reaction, holding her sides, tears springing to her eyes as her laughter built and kept building.
The laughter was infectious, and soon everypony had joined in. The room bubbled over with laughter. Whenever a pony would begin to get herself under control, the merest glance at any of her friends would set her off again.
At last, the laughter faded away, and they spent a long moment catching their breath. A tiny snore drew their attention to Fluttershy, who had fallen asleep in a ball on the floor. Twilight smiled at her and spoke quietly. “I think that’s our cue to get some sleep, everypony. Our rooms are the next two down the hall. Goodnight.”
The others quietly left the room, fishing for their room keys. Rainbow Dash gently nudged Fluttershy awake with her nose. Fluttershy’s eyes flickered halfway open and Dash spoke softly to her. “Come on, Flutters, it’s time to get into your bed, it’s a lot warmer and softer than the floor.”
Fluttershy nodded sleepily and levered herself upright. “I’m sorry you had to wake me. I don’t mean to be a bother.”
Dash rolled her eyes and butted her rump, shoving her into motion towards the bed. “It’s all good, just get in there, I know you need your sleep or you feel miserable in the morning.”
“You noticed? Oh, I’m sorry if I grumped at you.”
Dash snorted dismissively. “Yeah, it was terrifying. Lemme tuck you in. There you go, are you all warm and cozy?”
Fluttershy yawned and closed her eyes. “Mm-hm, it’s very nice, thank you.”
“Good.” With a flap of her wings, Dash hopped over Fluttershy’s bed to climb into her own. She pulled the covers over herself with a groan of satisfaction. It wasn’t a cloud, but she was tired enough that it felt nearly as good.
“Oh. Oh! Oh, no.”
Dash jolted awake. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Fluttershy's voice was logy with sleep. “The picture. I don’t know where it is. Oh, I’m such a scatterbrain.” Her covers rustled as she began to get out of bed.
Dash had already hopped to the floor. “Settle down, it’s cool. You relax and I’ll find it for you. After all, I don’t want to be on the receiving end of your grumpiness in the morning.” She chuckled lightly. A brief search located the picture under Fluttershy’s saddlebags, near where she had fallen asleep on the floor. Dash gingerly picked it up in her teeth and deposited it on Fluttershy’s bedside table, propped against the lamp so she could see it. “You were really brave today.”
Fluttershy looked at the photograph and smiled sleepily. “That was so much fun.” The photo had been taken just before sunset. It showed a plummeting roller coaster packed with ponies. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were in the front of the car, arms in the air and screaming. Applejack was sandwiched between them, clinging for dear life to the bar in front of her, eyes wide and terrified. Twilight and Rarity were in the row immediately behind, both clinging to the bar and screaming, Twilight with a smile and Rarity in obvious fear. Fluttershy sat between them, arms in the air, wings splayed into the rushing wind, a huge, thrilled smile on her face. “Can we do it again tomorrow?” Her voice trailed off into a soft snore.
Dash smiled at her and snapped off the light. She climbed back into bed, pulled her covers over herself, and murmured to no one in the dark. “Tomorrow is gonna be awesome, I promise.”
=/==/==/==/==/==/
The morning sun lit the open gate of Daring Do-land, and Rainbow Dash snorted in excitement. “This is gonna be awesome, you guys!”
They smiled at her. Pinkie hopped around in a little circle. “Oh my gosh, Dashie, I bet you’re gonna meet Daring Do today! I’m so excited for you!”
Dash’s smile faded for a moment, then she narrowed her eyes and grinned fiercely. “Yeah, Daring Do is gonna be the coolest pony ever, you just wait and see. Let’s go!”
Inside the gate, Dash’s spirits rose immediately. Everywhere she looked, everything was perfect. “Look, you guys! That’s the jade statue of Rahman-so-Tepid, the ancient god of disappointing food! And. . . yes! It even has the double-arch glyph Daring scratched into its back to reinforce its power so she could defeat the Goremaund tribe’s witch doctor! This is the best!”
She dashed over to Twilight and hooked an arm around her neck to point to an object hanging high overhead, strung between two trees. “Twilight! Is that. . .?”
Twilight squinted, then brightened. “The gibbet of Grassy MacGuffin, I think it is!” Her face fell a bit. “It was so sad how Daring Do searched for Grassy for all that time only to find he was already dead.”
Dash waved a hoof dismissively. “Yeah, but it was awesome when Daring went after his killers. Boom! Pow!” Her illustrative punches jerked Twilight’s head back and forth. “You know, I bet. . .” A fading rainbow column stood where she had been. Before it had completely faded, Dash was back, another rainbow column extending above her. “I knew it! Grassy’s skeleton is wearing the D.E. Machine around its neck!”
Twilight oohed. “That was a real problem solver for Daring once she got her hooves on it.”
“Darn right! This park is the coolest ever!” She squealed happily and darted off towards the next faithfully-recreated artifact.
The rest of them followed sedately along, Twilight gazing around happily, the rest simply enjoying the visual appeal of many of the displays. They caught up to Dash a short time later, finding her hovering above a huge red crystal mounted in a stone setting and peering intently into its depths.
She flapped down to land by them. She indicated the crystal with a flick of her tail. “The Blood Gem of the Emeaux tribe. They formed it over centuries by cutting their own veins and collecting the blood around a magical flower called the Right of Spring. And in case you were wondering, yeah, the flower is in there.” A smile burst onto her face and she clapped her hooves excitedly. “Coolest park ever!”
They moved slowly through Daring Do-land, Rainbow Dash exclaiming over tiny details in every bit of decoration, Twilight cheerfully nodding along with her.
The sun was high overhead when an earth-shaking rumble from Pinkie’s stomach made them call a halt for lunch. They found a jungle-themed restaurant and ordered humorously-named food. They were in the midst of eating when an employee came by their table to give them a flyer.
Twilight floated it over to herself. “Hm. . . ‘Dearest adventurer, seeker of’ blah blah, ‘you are invited to witness the Twelfth Wonder of the World’ blah blah. . . huh.” She looked around the table at her friends. “They’re putting on a Daring Do stage show as part of the grand opening celebration, and it’s starring Shutter Speed, who is going to play Daring Do in the movie.”
Dash perked up. “Shutter Speed is gonna play Daring Do here? Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh we have to see that show!”
Twilight scanned down the flyer. “It starts in two hours. We should probably head over and get in line.”
“What are we waiting for?” Just like that, Dash was gone, bits left spinning on the table.
The others paid their bill and trotted over to the central stage. Dash was easy to find in the line, and they stepped in, apologizing to the ponies who had already arrived behind her.
Rarity craned her neck to peer towards the front of the line. “Well, this doesn’t look so bad. We’re not very far from the front, so we should be able to get good seats.”
Dash ran a hoof through her rainbow mane. “Of course we’re close to the front. That’s because I’m awesome.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, and so modest.”
Dash nodded firmly. “I’m the most modest pony around! Nobody beats me at being modest!”
Fluttershy blushed and leaned close to Dash, whispering into her ear.
Dash glanced sharply at her. “Seriously?” Fluttershy nodded. Dash grinned sheepishly at Rarity. “Uh, yeah, maybe not so much with the modesty?”
Applejack chuckled at her. “Ah tell ya what, by way of punishment fer lyin’, how about’cha go an’ look around while we wait in line?”
Dash gaped at Applejack for a moment. “Really? You’d do that?”
Each of her friends nodded their agreement. Applejack said, “A’ course we will, Rainbow. This here’s yer vacation, go an’ enjoy yerself. We’ll be here when ya get back.”
A smile spread across Dash’s face, and impulsively, she gathered her friends into a hug. “Thanks, guys. You’re the best friends a pony ever had. . . OK, enough with the mushy stuff, jeez.” She released them and stepped back, all haughty coolness. She was only able to maintain the facade for a few seconds, then she squealed girlishly and trotted away with a grin, head swiveling this way and that.
“So, uh, anypony got somethin’ to do while we’re waitin’?”
Twilight beamed. “I brought crossword puzzles!”
“. . . Anypony else?”
=/==/==/==/==/==/
Rainbow Dash wandered through Daring Do-land, flitting like a butterfly from delight to delight, tasting briefly of each before the next called to her. She saw the Onagers’ Onager, built by a strange race to demolish the walls of the City of the Seaponies. She saw a blossom from the night-blooming woona, stuck forever in polished amber and considered holy by the dirigible-dwelling peoples of the Lunocracy. She touched the shark that Daring Do had ridden to safety as it jumped out of the mists of Pandaria. Everything was perfect.
She trotted around a corner past a life-size engine from Daring Do’s airship and froze in her tracks. In a plaza ahead of her was a section of the pink wall built by the Floyds of the Fjords to keep the rest of the world out of their territory. Her brows lowered into a frown and she unconsciously scraped a hoof on the ground. In front of the wall were three Daring Dos posing for pictures with ponies from the crowd. Dash gritted her teeth. Two of them had fake wings. The pegasus was the wrong color and had her wig on crooked. The unicorn was too tall and too fat. It was all wrong! Just like that, her good mood was ruined.
She took a closer look at the wall. The skulls had all their teeth, the wolves were carved with their jaws open, and the spearpoints were obsidian. She looked at the airship engine. The stamp on the cowling said it was manufactured in the month of August. Dash thudded a hoof into the ground. Wrong, wrong, all wrong! She scowled darkly and stalked away, retracing her steps through the displays.
The shark was the wrong size. The woona had one too many petals. The Onager was made of oak. The Blood Gem’s stone setting wasn’t carved widdershins. The D.E. Machine had seven gears instead of eight. The jade statue of Rahman-so-Tepid had only three chins. How could she have been so blind?
Disgusted, she headed back towards the line for the show. She had lost all interest in it, but she couldn’t let her friends know that after they’d been willing to wait for her. She’d just have to tough it out, and then they could all go home and forget about stupid, fake Daring Do-land.
“Hey Dashie! Back so soon?” Pinkie waved cheerfully as Dash approached. She turned to Twilight. “Egghead!”
Twilight looked taken aback for a moment. Then she nodded. “That fits!” Her pencil scratched across the book in front of her.
Dash looked over Twilight’s shoulder at the book. “Oh. . . you’re doing crosswords.”
Pinkie hopped in place. “Yep! They’re super funsie-wunsies!”
Dash shook her head. “If you say so. . .”
Applejack looked up from where she’d been napping in the sun. “So Rainbow, what are ya doin’ back so soon? Ah’d a thought ya’d be runnin’ around out there for a while yet.”
“Saw everything already. Yup, you know me, fast is my middle name.”
Pinkie frowned in puzzlement. “I thought your middle name was Bow.”
Everypony stared at her.
Dash looked away. “Yeah. . . anyway, I figured I’d come back and hang out with my best friends.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes at Dash. After a tense moment, she tugged her hat down over her eyes. “If that’s the way it is, welcome back.”
Dash chuckled nervously. “That’s totally the way it is. So, um, anypony got some cards or something?”
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They filed down into the terraced bowl surrounding the stage. Rainbow Dash intended to grab seats close to the exit, the better to leave when it was over, but she was dragged along in the wake of her well-meaning friends as they sought seats close to the stage.
Pinkie perked up. “Ooh! I see a great spot!”
“Well then, lead the way—” Twilight began, only to find that Pinkie had disappeared.
The five of them looked around in confusion for a moment, until Fluttershy pointed at a jumping and waving pink blob. “There she is, way down there.”
Twilight scratched her head, then shrugged. “Oh-kay. . . well, that does look like a good spot, let’s hurry before those seats are taken.”
They settled on the grassy terrace to wait for the show to begin. The stage was open, with no curtain, and backdrops were already set up—a jungle scene and a rounded stone temple. Rainbow Dash sneered at them. The jungle scene was boring, not cool at all, and the temple was nothing she recognized from any of Daring Do’s books. It was like they weren’t even trying anymore.
Recorded music began playing from hidden loudspeakers. The bold, brassy theme suggested that action was soon to happen, probably with a healthy dose of—
“Daring Do!” A narrator announced over the music. “The intrepid adventurer, dashing archaeologist, and all-around action mare! While combing the jungle in search of the long-lost temple of the Deep Ones, she has run afoul of the temple guardians!”
Twilight cocked her head. “An original adventure? Interesting.”
Dash rolled her eyes. This was totally gonna be stupid.
A clarion voice rang out. “Back! All of you!” A grayscale tail appeared through a concealed stage entrance in the jungle backdrop, followed by a mustard-yellow body as Daring Do backed warily out of the jungle, stalked across the stage by spear-brandishing tribesponies.
Dash sat up. Her tail, her coat, her mane, they were all dyed to the exact right shades. She was even wearing her hat cocked at the right angle! Dash frowned and eased herself back down to the grass. It was gonna start being stupid any second now, she was sure.
Two dark-clad stagehooves dragged a broad strip of blue satin onstage opposite Daring Do. They positioned the satin with one end of the strip depending from the front of the stage and departed. Daring continued backing up towards the satin, still pursued by the tribesponies.
Daring Do came to a sudden halt, hearing the river rushing close behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and grimaced. She braced her hooves and reached under her wing to produce a gleaming blue gem, which she held out like a weapon. The forest of spears facing her wavered and fell back a step.
“Yeah, you know what this is, don’t you? Now, how about we talk this over like reasonable ponies? I’m sure we can come to some sort of understanding. I give you the gem, you let me into the temple. . . what do you say?”
A massive, tattooed stallion pushed his way to the front of the crowd of tribesponies. For a tense moment, he stared at the gem she held. Then he raised his spear and shouted a war cry. “Fhtagn!”
The rest of the spears thrust into the air, and the tribesponies cried out with one voice. “Fhtagn!”
Daring Do tucked the gem under her hat with a sigh. “Why does everyone always choose the hard way?” As the spears advanced, she leaped backwards across the rushing river in a single tremendous bound. She tipped her hat to the enraged ponies on the opposite bank and ducked back into the jungle.
As the tribesponies left the stage and the stagehooves dragged the satin away, Dash exulted to her friends. “Didja see that? How awesome was that backflip over the river? Oh my gosh, Daring Do is so cool!”
Applejack grinned at her. “Ah’m just glad yer enjoyin’ yerself again.”
Dash froze. She cleared her throat. “Yeah, well, that was only a little bit cool.” No way was this gonna be anything but stupid in the end.
=/==/==/==/==/==/
The six friends joined the rest of the audience in enthusiastic applause, the rumbling of hooves loud enough to be felt. Onstage, the cast took another bow, then waved as they left the stage.
Dash sighed blissfully. “The real Daring Do.” The others stood to leave, and Dash leaped up excitedly. “Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh, did you see the part with the boar?”
“Yup.”
“Oh my gosh so cool! And the part when Daring avoided those traps, all like ha! ho! hi-ya!” She posed illustratively.
“We saw it, darling.”
Dash squealed. “And the part where she fought that kraken!”
Twilight paused. “That was really impressive. I still can’t figure out how they did those special effects.”
“I know, right? So awesome.”
Pinkie said, “What about the part where Daring Do was signing autographs?”
Dash scratched her head. “Huh. I don’t remember that part.”
Pinkie pointed. “That’s ‘cause it’s happening right now, silly!”
Dash followed her hoof to a pair of tables next to the stage with lines of ponies snaking away from each. A banner was strung up over the tables: AUTOGRAPHS. Dash’s eyes bugged out, and Applejack and Rarity clutched tightly at their hats as the wind of her flight blasted briefly past them.
Dash waited in the line that led to Daring Do’s—that is, Shutter Speed’s—table, eagerly bouncing on her hooves. She normally hated waiting, but for this, she’d make an exception. The line was moving quickly, and she had already shuffled forward a few steps by the time her friends joined her.
They chatted idly as the line steadily advanced. Dash shot glances at the other table, wondering who else was important enough to be signing autographs. The pony sitting there was a short, pudgy unicorn stallion with a dingy gray coat and a mussed brown mane. He wore reading glasses and had a gap between his front teeth. There was nothing remotely cool or awesome about him, and Dash scrutinized him, wondering why ponies were lined up to shake his hoof and receive an autograph from him. Finally she shrugged and rejoined her friends’ conversation.
At last it was Dash’s turn. She pushed her Official Daring Do Fan Club Membership Card across the table to be signed, and Shutter Speed autographed it with both her own name and Daring Do’s. She smiled at Dash as she gave the card back, and Dash felt her knees go watery. Dash clutched the card to her chest, and words bubbled up unbidden. “I can’t believe I’m meeting the real Daring Do! I mean I know you’re not the real Daring Do, but you’re just like her and you’re practically the real Daring Do and you did all that awesome stuff just now just like she would and you’re my hero, I mean, she’s my hero, and—“
Applejack cut her off by elbowing her in the barrel, then tipped her hat to the wide-eyed Shutter Speed. “Ma’am.”
Dash panted, out of breath. “Sorry about that. Thanks for the autograph.” She smiled sheepishly.
An official-looking pony walked up behind the tables and spoke to the lines of ponies. “Sorry, everypony, but these are the last autographs for this session. Come back after the next show, we’ll be doing this again.” The announcement was met with disappointed groans from the throng.
Shutter Speed set down her quill and smiled at Dash. “You’re wrong, you know.”
Dash blinked at her. “Huh?”
She stood up. “You said I’m the real Daring Do, but I’m not. He is.” She nodded towards the pudgy unicorn at the next table.
“Wha?” Dash managed.
The unicorn scoffed at Shutter Speed. “Don’t start with that stuff again.”
She grinned. “Plot, If you hadn’t written the books, I never would have become an actress. Ever since I was a filly, I’ve wanted to be Daring Do. She’s inspired me my whole life.”
He grunted. “Well thanks, now I feel old.” She giggled and leaned over to hug him.
Dash looked at her flank, and something that had been tickling the back of her mind finally clicked. “Your cutie mark! It’s. . .”
Shutter Speed winked at her. “The same as Daring Do’s. I meant it when I said she’s always been an inspiration to me.” She released the unicorn. “By the way, Plot, thanks so much for teaching me how to nail that backflip over the river. It definitely added the oomph that scene needed.”
Dash held up her hooves. “Wait a minute, now I know you’re pulling my leg. He taught you to do that? No way! You’re so awesome, and he’s so. . . not.”
Behind her, Rarity gasped. “Rainbow Dash!”
The unicorn was chuckling. Shutter Speed poked him. “Hey, tell her the story.”
He grumped at her. “Oh come on, you know I don’t like talking about myself.”
“But it’s such a good story! Pleeeeeeeeeease? For me?” She pouted and looked at him pleadingly. She held the pout for a moment before they both burst into laughter.
“Fine, fine, you win, you ragamuffin.” He stuck out a hoof to Rainbow Dash. “Name’s Plot Device, and you are?”
She awkwardly shook his hoof. “Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet you?”
“Likewise. So, the story. When I was a colt, I had stories and characters running around in my head all the time, but there was one character who kept pushing her way to the front and insisting that I tell stories about her.”
“Daring Do?” Dash guessed.
“Naturally. This wouldn’t be much of a story if it hadn’t been her, now would it? So anyway, I started writing about all sorts of things, but mainly about her. But the stories all lacked bite, they had no spark. I couldn’t make the stories seem real. So I grew frustrated, and decided that writing wasn’t for me after all.”
He paused to fill and light a pipe, and took several contented puffs. “Then, one night I sat bolt upright out of a sound sleep. I’d been dreaming about Daring Do, you see. Normally when I dreamed about her, it was about her adventures, new stories for me to tell. This dream was different. It was about her studying and working, doing the hard slog to become great.”
“I woke up with a start, because that dream made me realize, for the first time, that the reason I couldn’t give my stories that essential spark was because I didn’t know enough. I had so much to learn. The very next day, I began studying everything I could get my hooves on—archaeology, paleontology, cryptography, history, languages ancient and modern, everything. I enrolled in several martial arts and fencing classes so I could write fight scenes, I took up hang gliding and earned my pilot’s license so I could write about what it feels like to fly. . .” He waved his pipe in a little circle. “And so on.”
“Sometime during all that, I realized that my special talent wasn’t writing, it was learning. That was what I enjoyed more than anything else, and what allowed me to finally tell the stories in my head. I’ve never stopped studying, and I’ve never stopped writing.” He squinted sidelong at Shutter Speed, who was listening raptly. “And my reward is to have this rude filly call me old, hrmph.” His squint became a wink and a smile. She grinned back at him.
Dash glanced at his cutie mark, an open book with blank pages. “Huh, I figured your cutie mark was for, y’know, being an author.”
He puffed his pipe. “If it was, it wouldn’t be a story worth the telling, would it?”
“I guess not.” She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Um. . . sorry for the stuff I said earlier. I seem to have a bad habit of focusing on the bad parts of things and deciding that there must not be any good parts to them.”
He nodded sagely. “It happens. I’ve been known to indulge in that bad habit myself from time to time.”
Shutter Speed made a show of gawking at him. “No way! I can’t imagine that at all!”
He harumphed at her and puffed his pipe. “I apologized, didn’t I?”
She giggled. “And I accepted your apology. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease you about it.”
Rainbow Dash’s ears flicked as an idea struck her. She glanced between Shutter Speed and Plot Device. “Say. . . do either of you like roller coasters?”
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The train sped through the dark countryside, taking tired ponies home. Rainbow Dash held an ice pack to her sore wing. At her insistence, Plot Device had demonstrated a disabling hold he’d learned years before from the Royal Guards’ chief combat instructor. He’d called it the Traditional Royal Canterlock. She grinned at the memory.
She nodded to Twilight and began dictating a letter to the quill and parchment hovering nearby. “Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned something I should have learned from my friends a long time ago: not to judge a book by its cover, because even the least awesome-looking pony might be the real Daring Do. Your faithful subject, Rainbow Dash.”
As the letter tucked itself into Twilight’s saddlebag, Dash looked at the photo she held, and smiled. It had been taken just before sunset, and showed a plummeting roller coaster. She was in the front row, flanked by Fluttershy and Plot Device. All of them had their arms up exultantly. In the second row were Pinkie and Twilight, both with their arms up and screaming. Next to them was Shutter Speed, clinging to the bar with her eyes closed.
