Knives and Cards

by epicrainbowdashfan

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 1817

Tommy and I have always been fans of MLP, but on our 25th, strange things started happening to our bodies

Tommy and I were just ordinary people: wake up, eat, go to work, go home, eat, ponies, internet, and card games, sleep, repeat. But on our twenty-fifth birthday, we both find cutie marks on our legs, and strange things just continue happening to us, not to mention the ones closest to us.
Side fiction of TwistedSpectrum's Five Score, Divided by Four
Names are real, but to hide identity, I am not providing last names
I'll also try to get some of my other friend's permission to use them (Tommy okayed me using him already)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-26 21:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

The date was May 1st, 2020, and it was the day of my twenty-fifth birthday. It started out normal: wake up, go to work in downtown Kansas City Missouri, return home to my apartment. When I got there, I had a package awaiting me in my mail slot. It was from my mom, I knew since she always sent me something every year since I moved out after my senior year of high school before heading to University of Central Missouri. I went up the flight of stairs to the second floor, and I felt my phone go off. I pull out my phone to check a message. It was just a text from my girlfriend, who was out of state visiting her parents, wishing me a good birthday. I'm about to text her back, wishing her the same, when my vision went black. When I come to, I realize I've been standing there in the middle of the stairwell for the past couple minutes, so I hurry to my apartment.

When I walked into my apartment though, I was scared shitless. My friend Tommy jumps out of nowhere. "Holy shit Tommy, you scared me! Don't do that to me." With all that went on at work today, I forgot he was coming over.

"Sorry Jackson, didn't mean to scare you like that. Put your gift over on the coffee table." One good thing about Tommy, he's only about fifteen minutes younger than me, so I remember his birthday pretty easily.

"Yea, can you give me a few minutes while I get out of my work uniform and into something more comfortable? Just turn on the TV or something if you want." I start heading down the hall to my bedroom and I hear the TV click on, but the channel not changing. "Must just be searching through the guide," I say so that only I can hear it.

I'm only a few minutes, and I've changed into just a normal shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. I grab Tommy's gift from my closet and head into the living room. I put the gift down on the table next to the one he brought, and notice he's staring off into space, so I wave a hand in front of him, trying to snap him back to reality.

After about a minute of trying, he finally responds, scraching his upper thigh. "Whoa, sorry, zoned out there for a minute."

"Meh, happened to me earlier. Wanna get this party going?"

"Might as well, no one else is coming, are they?"

"No, Jess is out of town, plus everyone else is working, so just the two of us."

"Pop in ponies, get decks out?"

"Sure." I walk over to my DVD collection, and pop the first season into my PS4, and pull my Magic deck out of the entertainment center. A couple games in, and we've lost count who's won the most so far. "Might as well give you your gift."

"Yeah, go ahead and open yours, wanna see the look on your face."

Walking over towards the coffee table, I pick up my gift, trying to take a wild guess at what's inside. "Too light for a fat pack, might as well find out what it is." I open the gift, and I can just about feel the color go out of my face. Sitting in my hands, is a Rainbow Dash plushie. She was always my favorite out of them all. "I'm speechless, thanks dude."

While walking over to him with his gift, Tommy simply says, "No problem, I know you've been wanting one for some time now, so might as well. Found this one girl in Ohio that makes them, and she insured good quality, looks like she wasn't kidding."

"Yea, whoever she is deserves props." I finally get over to Tommy a few seconds later with his gift. "Can't wait to see your face."

He barely has the package in his hands two seconds before he's tearing the paper off. "Really dude, clothes, better be a hoodie or something in here."

"Just open the box."

"Fine." Opening it up, he gives me the are-you-fucking-kidding-me stare. "I'm no Twilight, and you give me a book, better be good!"

"Take another look, that's no ordinary book your holding."

Turning it over, it's his face to drain this time. 'Official copy of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic show bible' is written on its spine. "How?"

"I would've gotten you the original, but that's over in Seattle, and I did some checking, you don't want to know the price tag on it."

"I see your mom gave you your annual gift by mail. What is it this year?

"I don't know yet." I sit down, and start opening my mom's gift. Last year it was a case of YuGiOh booster boxes, which I know aren't cheap. I eventually find out that it's a couple posters I haven't seen in a couple years, since they were up on my wall still when I left for college. I haven't even taken them down yet. I felt so bad, but mom said it was okay. Upon further inspection though, I notice something off, all of them were laminated, which I didn't mind, keeps them clean. But what I did notice was one of Dash had the signature of the actress that played her years ago, Ashleigh Ball.

"Whoa, lucky bastard, wish my mom was that generous."

"Yeah, well, I'll go get the whiskey then. Too bad we didn't have a shot when we turned. Feel free to take the spare room tonight if you want."

"Thanks, and hurry with the booze!"

A few minutes later, the whiskey is poured, and Tommy's relaxing while I order in some pizza. "Yes, one large cheese and one large pepperoni. Thanks." I hang up the phone. "Pizza's coming, might as well work on finishing the season."

"Yeah, before that, mind if I use the bathroom?"

"You know where it is, you don't need to ask, you know that."

Tommy heads down the hall towards the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He's in there maybe a minute before I hear a chilling sound. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Bullshit. I always wanted a tattoo, but of a cutie mark on both legs, how the fuck did you do that without me noticing?"

"I Pinkie Promise I didn't do that," I say this while making the motions for the promise. "There's your proof I didn't, now quit your bitching, let me see." He pulls up the leg of his underwear so I can take a look. "Looks real, not red around the edges like you'd see on newer ones. Funny, it looks just like the Gatecrash expansion symbol, you were always good with cards from that set."

"Yeah, stranger though is that I used the same symbol as my OC's cutie mark. Be funny if we were turning into cartoon ponies."

"Hmm, lemme check something real fast." I walk into the bathroom so I can take a look myself, and what I see makes my face go even whiter than from when I opened the plushie. On both legs, in the same place as where Tommy had his, was a knife pointing towards the front of my leg. "Hey, looks like you're not alone in this situation. Got cutie marks myself. How bout we just try to figure out how we got these tomorrow after we wake up, you know how alcohol makes me think in situations like this. Good thing we're not going anywhere."

"Yeah, we don't want a repeat of last year's incident."

"Hey, I said I was sorry, not my fault the wall was there."

Last year's incident.

"Hey Tommy, bet you ... five bucks I can break ... this board ... with my head." I'm pointing over at a spare plank of wood my neighbor didn't need when he was building a bookshelf for his daughter.

"You're drunk, I think you should stop with the alcohol now."

"I'm not drunk, I've only had what, three or four beers." I start to walk forward, but fall forward and bash my head against the wall, putting a dent in it and opening my head up pretty well too.

"Yeah, just finish off what we have out in the glasses already, and I'm locking the bottle back up."

It's another ten minutes before the pizza guy is here with our food, and the season's almost half way over. "Really, ponies? That show is for little girls."

"Hater's gonna hate," I say in a barely audible tone. "What's the damage for the pizzas?"

"Twenty-three seventy-two."

"Here's twenty-seven, just keep the change." He walks off, and I close the door behind him. "Soup's on everypony!"

"Really, you could've just said it was ready."

"Hey, at least I didn't use a triangle while saying it."

Later that night, we're both getting tired, so I go make up the guest room for Tommy. "Your room's ready when you are, see ya in the morning."

"All right, thanks."

I go into my bedroom's attached bathroom so I can take another look at my cutie mark in absolute private. Sure enough it was on there, on my leg, not going anywhere. "Huh, must just be a gift from the heavens or something, just strange that Tommy got one too," I say to no one in particular. "Might as well hit the sack now."

A few hours into my sleep, and I have my reoccuring nightmare. I'm as my OC, and I'm flying away from Discord, only he's back to being the evil douche he was back in the first two episodes of season two. I try to find somepony who can help, but Ponyville's a ghost town essentially. I land from my long flight and start to run so I can give my wings a break. I turn around, and a glowing light is being shot towards me from Discord.

I wake up still as a pony, but all I see is darkness. And all I hear is that fucking rhyme I always hear in the end of my dreams:

For Five Score! Divided by Four!

Your Memories Removed! Your Body Confused!

For your insolence you must pay,

Cast off to a land far far away!

To scatter the six, just the start of my tricks!

Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak!

Forgetting everything and living like a fool,

You have all lost, now no one can stop my rule!

I wake up for real this time, sweating hard as usual. I look over at my alarm clock, and notice its only two in the morning, so I go back to bed, hoping I'm not making a terrible decision in doing so.