“How did you bury your first?”
“Pardon?”
“Your first friends, how did you bury them?”
“If I’m to be frank Twilight, my memory fails me.”
“I was afraid you would say that,” Twilight sighed sadly bowing her slightly head towards the cobblestone floor of the graveyard. The two ponies were adjacent to a small grassy plot imbedded with five plain gravestones each casting a slight shadow.
The evening was late and the sun had crept slowly down beneath the hills providing a stunning displayto all those withtin Equestria. The orange and gold that had filled the sky for miles rippled like a river in the clouds as the sun slowly gave way to moon and then the world would go dark.
Time seemed to have been displaced at that current moment as the two alicorns sat amongst the dead and gone, the mood was melancholy and it seemed to have been worsened by the way the conversation had been steered towards by the younger of the two ponies.
Princess Celestia was unsure of herself. The tall, white alicorn who had led her nation to great prosperity under some of the most hazardous of circumstances one can be put under was now in the exceedingly awkward if not slightly uncomfortable stance of admitting that she could not even remember her first friends. This was supposed to be Celestia’s way of cheering her saddened ex-student.
“It has been a long time Twilight, has it not?” a soft reply came from Celestia. Twilight looked up slightly from her bowed position and directed her gaze on Celestia. It had a quizzical tinge to it.
“For whom? My friends or yours?”
“Both, I suppose,” murmured Celestia. Quiet descended on the graveyard once again as the shadows shifted position in accordance with the sun’s setting. Celestia mentally checked its descent. Contrary to popular opinion she did not in fact control the sun directly most of the time. She merely guided it. To directly take the sun off its course took immense power and often-spelled disastrous results for all involved thus moderation was the value upon which she used its power.
“Eighty years is a long time in a way but it is also not in another. In the short term perhaps yes, but as you and I are proof to the contrary, then I’d go with no.” Twilight’s words seemed empty. The world seemed a bit colder. Celestia once again couldn’t stand to hold Twilight’s hollow stare and faced away briefly.
“That is a most pessimistic point view Twilight,” Celestia coughed. Twilight came out of her despondent stare to one again question her mentor’s musings.
“I do not understand.”
“Do you regret the time you spent with them?”
“Of course not! That’s not the point!” snapped Twilight. Her stern face turned completely to face Celestia’s. Fire flickered briefly between each of her violet coloured eyes before fblowing out leaving seemingly nothing. The absence of warmth she felt from Twilight made Celestia shudder. It was not natural to see Twilight so upset…usually.
“I’m sorry.” The two princesses did not move for a second as the light slowly faded beyond the horizon. The inklings of darkness filled the corners of the cemetery as city lights held bastion not too far away. Twilight’s face crumpled upon seeing her teacher’s downtrodden face. She quickly copied the breathing exercise she had learned those long years ago.
“It’s not your fault, I’d never blame you considering all you’ve done for me...My minds been wandering that’s all,” replied Twilight disjointedly. She cast a forlorn look on the graves, sighing deeply as her eyes scanned each of the words imprinted on their granite surfaces.
The words etched with delicate care, each describing the traits the deceased bore. It did little justice to their true accomplishments. How could mere words describe the uniqueness and vigour that each fantastical friend had achieved during their relatively short lives?
In retrospect it could not. But even champions must pass and slowly so do their triumphs. While remembered in the present, it would be folly to assume they would transcend time like Twilight would. All things must end and valour and great deeds pass into shadow and decay within the clutches of time.
The thought shattered Twilight in a new way. She had thought she had let go, she had moved on in the face of the daunting reality that is mortality. It had burned her in a way, the first passing had. A fire that consumed a weary heart upon watching her fade to in old age. It had seemed too soon, a blink of one’s eye and she was gone.
Like the very earth itself she carried on and sting disappeared. Nevertheless, each time they passed an old wound would remerge. It stung, but less so than the first. The familiar sting had continued to pierce her side. Despair incarnated. There was little she could have done. Just nod and accept the facts.
Of course she was consoled. She didn’t lack that kind support but rather than express it to those for cared for her, Twilight buried it. She threw herself into her work. Advancements in scientific fields, gala’s to plan, students to train and the detested duty of caring for the obsolete and backward ‘nobility’ had made sure she forgot. It was irrelevant. They were just old wounds. They were just mortals in the grand scheme of things. They were dead and gone; it was with their memories in the grave.
But the sting did come back and with it the regret and guilt of all the neglect she had imposed on those she should have frankly been on her knees thanking them for all they had done for her. They were everything to her for a time and she had upon their expiration date been tossed aside, forgotten about, no longer worth her time.
She was above them. Sad but inevitably true. That was where the old wound had taken hold. Questions troubled a logical mind. She couldn’t bury it any more. The floodgates had opened and now she questioned everything she was and what she would eventually become. While for perhaps the present she could continue to act like a normal pony, what could happen in ten thousand years time? Would she care anymore? Would she go mad? Would everything become insignificant to her? Puppets and insects that she could do as she pleased with and not feel a single stain upon her conscience? It gnawed at her morals. It was pulling her apart slowly. It was too much to digest. She should have thought of it sooner. She could already see the signs. The neglect of her old friends, disregarding Spike's nap as just another event and wrapping herself in her own world.Shutting it all away. Panic began to rise within her. More questions bombarded her mind. In some way she couldn't cope.
Silence between the two alicorns reached extremely uncomfortable levels. One lost in thought and dismay, the other unsure how to proceed.
“It’s just looking back…I…Why me?” questioned Twilight. Celestia was caught off guard. In truth she had been content to let Twilight figure this issue out on herself. Celestia would always be there for Twilight but she could not prevent death and as much as she wanted to and could not heal mental wounds. The sun was her charge but even those abilities were beyond her power. The question had stunned her after such a long silence.
“I am unsure what you mean.”
“You know what I mean. Why was I to be an alicorn and not any of them? Their accomplishments during their lives were equally important in their own ways. What makes me so special?” Twilight looked at her cutie mark. “Is it the fact that I was a powerful mage? Or maybe the fact I spent most of my life in royalty? Was it the fact I was your student? Or was it just fate playing the lottery?!” Twilight raised her highly and snorted to show her agitation and fury. “Did I have no choice in my own destiny or am I forced to live a providence given to me but another! Why should her or he decide who lives and dies? Why should I languish on in this world forced to be its caretaker when design itself tears everything from me. Am I forced to bury everyone I love just for the justification of destiny?! Will everything I know just fade from my memories like those who were important to you? Then what is the damned point! I never asked for this!” Twilight smashed her hooves on the floor to emphasize her words. The graveyard shook and little while panted breath filled the air.
Celestia was as calm as ever even when sent the heart-wrenching image of Twilight’s defeated face pleading with her eyes at her. Years under diplomatic duress would do that to a pony. Celestia trotted briskly over to Twilight and held her in a long nuzzle once in range and held it until she felt Twilight eventually return the gesture. Celestia pulled away so to look at Twilight directly.
“I don’t’ hold all the answers Twilight,” sighed Celestia. She closed her eyes for a second composing herself slightly. “I understand the pain you feel. I have felt it many times before. I can’t tell why fate chose you nor can I rightly say it is fair.” Twilight felt her chin being raised to meet Celestia’s eyes once more. A soft smile graced the alabaster alicorn’s lips. “We cannot justify everything. We are not gods despite those who would argue otherwise. Were cursed to see everything we love fade because at least in my view in the hopes of making the world a better place for those around us.”
Twilight intently listened to her mentor as if she was a little filly again. She was soon taken under a soft yet firm wing as the princess shifted position to Twilight’s side. The two turned to face the solemn graves again.
“Life is not fair; it is unjust and cruel especially for those who most bare the weight of the world on their shoulders like us.”
“Now who is the pessimistic one?”
Celestia chuckled as she regarded her student again. It was good to laugh again. It seemed like years since she had laughed side by side with Twilight. The downtrodden grip over her pupil had strained Twilight’s relationship with other ponies including with her fellow princesses. Twilight donned a weak smile in reply. It was not much but enough to give Celestia the lift she needed to continue.
“What I’m trying to say Twilight is, if you allow me an old cliché, that when one door closes another opens. You have achieved great things in the time since your friend’s departure. We cannot hold onto the past least we be consumed by it.” Celestia’s gaze turned back to Canterlot, thoughts of a time long ago and the dispute that nearly tore her world apart. Yes in truth she had known all too well about a troubling past.
"I’m afraid I’ll forget again. I don’t want to forget…I just-I can’t forget…I owe them everything…I just wish things were different…I wish this responsibility never came to me,” cried Twilight despairingly. Tears poured down her cheeks as she held onto Celestia like drowning pony to a wooden plank.
“So do all who live with burdens like ours,” cooed Celestia. “All we can do is live for the moment and make the best of what we are given. Despite everything Twilight you are not alone. You will never be alone whether it be me, Luna or Cadence or the friends you are bound to make along the way.” Twilight stared ahead before relaxing her tense body as Twilight felt the soft caress of a feather drying the wet patches beneath her eyes. “We can only live for today. We can only look out for tomorrow and the new adventures it brings. You have already done the impossible Twilight. Your destiny is what you make of it. I am not sure what the future holds but I can guarantee yours will always be bright. You may stumble and fall along the way, it is only natural, but one day I’m sure you will outshine us all.”
“It won’t be the same without them. I don’t think it ever will,” mumbled Twilight. She felt the squeeze on her back tighten, a gesture she appreciated as she leaned more into the hug.
“I know,” said Celestia, her face serene calm as she prepared herself yet again. “They were wonderful ponies Twilight, the best of their era in many ways. It is good to know you’re so thankful for the things they gave you, divines know I am.” Celestia breathed slowly before nodding her head in understanding. ”They would want you to move on Twilight. They would have wanted you to go off and find new voyages for your own. They didn’t want you to fear their loss and they certainly would have never wanted you to look back in longing. They were as proud of you as I am in how you’ve grown and no doubt they, wherever they may be, thank you for the friendship you shared with them.”
“I know…I should be happy and I really am… I’m just scared about it all. They’re not here anymore and while I’ve forgotten it recently I realise how truly lost in way I am without them. I am sorry it took me so long for it to be clear to me. Now that I think about it, I’m afraid of what tomorrow holds,” sniffed Twilight. A gentle nuzzle soothed her fears yet again.
“There are thousands of ponies who look up to you Twilight. You fill them with more hope than I ever could. Ponies love you Twilight including those around you and while some may pass, I, Luna and Cadence and to a lesser extent I suppose Discord, shall always stand by you even in your darkest hours.” Twilight looked upon her mentor’s eyes and saw many things love, pride, laughter but most oddly hope. “We don’t know what tomorrow hold my faithful princess but no matter what we shall face it together.”
In that moment, Twilight forgave her neglect and her self- abuse. She let it all out. She didn’t know how long Celestia stayed with her. It could have been days or mere hours. It had not mattered in the end. Her thoughts turned briefly to Spike, Maybe she visit him one day. She had things to clear up with him.
She could not trap and berate herself for things beyond her control. They were her five best friends in those graves and now there were gone but she didn’t feel the sting anymore. She accepted it and while it still hurt to imagine her forgetting the times they shared she knew deep down that somehow a piece of them lived on in her. They had helped her grow and the lessons they taught her had guided her long after they had passed on whether she knew it or not. With that in mind Twilight knew she could move on. They’d always live in her heart even when the time came that she couldn’t recall their faces because in a way they were a part of her now and who she was. With that, Twilight passed on a silent goodbye and thank you to them before resting slightly on the floor. Celestia descended with her.
Twilight smiled. She was content. She wasn’t ecstatic or jubilant but she smiled nonetheless. In a lone graveyard surrounded by friends of past and present she found hope. Nestled under a friend who meant the world to her she had found it and for that she was grateful. She still couldn’t understand. She didn’t need to, for all the cruelty the world had thrown at her she had found a glimmer of happiness with her oldest friend, happiness that went by the name of hope.
Not much hope, fools hope perhaps but hope nonetheless and that in the end was all that really mattered.
Author's Note
Just my take on Twilight's sadness at her friends passing but I decided to set it much later so I could deal with the whole immortality issue and how once you know people start to view you as a god then you start to believe it and all.
I feel Twilight would struggle with this consideing her down to earth life with her friends so that's my take on it anyway.
Hope you enjoy it. Also yeah it could of needed more of a lookover but for some reason I had a nagging feeling about getting tis one out quickly
Hasbro own My Little Pony and all characters associated with it.
Criticism is once again welcomed and appreciated
