Vinyl and Octavia are Forcibly Shipped

by DoctorSpectrum

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Romance, Octavia, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 9108

Vinyl and Octavia are shipped against their wills. Oh no!

Vinyl and Octavia have survived a lot together. They’ve survived being lost in the jungle, they’ve survived a night out drinking, and perhaps most surprising, they’ve survived living together for almost an entire year now. But how will they survive this, their most harrowing trial so far? How will they survive… being shipped?!

The Vinyl and Octavia Series
1. Vinyl and Octavia Machete Their Way Through the Jungle
2. Vinyl and Octavia Move House
3. Vinyl and Octavia Get Incredibly Drunk
4. Vinyl and Octavia are Forcibly Shipped
5. Vinyl and Octavia Fight Ten Thousand Ninjas
6. Vinyl and Octavia Have Multiple Dates
7. Vinyl and Octavia Engage in Roleplay
8. Vinyl and Octavia in 'Dial D for Detectives'
9. Vinyl and Octavia Duel Destiny
10. Vinyl and Octavia Bust Out of Prison
11. Vinyl and Octavia Join COBRA
12. Vinyl and Octavia Break the Timestream
13. Vinyl and Octavia Rob a Casino
14. Vinyl and Octavia's Freaky Day
15. Vinyl and Octavia Jump the Shark

Published 2013-07-27 07:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-27 07:30:02 UTC

Vinyl and Octavia are Forcibly Shipped

“Urgh….” Octavia the Earth pony groaned, her eyes closed. She had just woken up from a somewhat odd sleep. There was a throbbing at the back of her head, which was thankfully about one iota less painful than it should have been thanks to Octavia’s head resting on something soft and comfy.

What happened to me? Octavia wondered, rubbing a hoof on the back of head, briefly brushing whatever she was resting against. Did Vinyl Scratch somehow convince me to go out drinking with her again? As Octavia’s body regained consciousness, she became aware that the parts of her body not resting on the soft object were in contact with something hard and metallic.

Hmm. I suppose I should probably find out where I am before anything else, Octavia thought. She opened her eyes. Then closed them again and blinked several times to make sure that she really had opened them the first time. No, everything is pitch-black whether my eyes are open or closed, she concluded. That is simply brilliant.
Well, I reason I had best get up, Octavia decided. I’m not going to solve this mystery by simply lying here. As she rolled over and pushed herself to her hooves, trying to ignore the pain in her head, there was a groan from the object she had been resting on. Wait a minute… is that…

“…Vinyl?” Octavia asked hesitantly, squinting into the darkness.

“H-hey, Octavia,” a husky voice replied weakly. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not quite sure,” Octavia admitted. Though for some reason I woke up with my head resting on your flank. “I don’t suppose you’d know how we ended up…wherever we are, would you?” She pawed the ground with a hoof, confirming it to be as metallic as before – which unfortunately still didn’t give her the answers she desired.

“Nope,” Vinyl grunted, getting to her hooves. “Last thing I remember is talking to that pegasus mare, then kablamo! Nothing!” Although Octavia couldn’t see it, Vinyl was flashing a grin at her in the darkness.

“What pegasus?” Octavia asked, confused. “What are you on about, Vinyl?”

The unicorn sighed. “You don’t remember, Octavia? Allow me to refresh your memory…”

==============

“…and that was the last we saw of Darkhoof and Stumblefeather, the two ponies who also sought the treasure of the Amarezonian tribes,” Octavia explained.

“Goodness!” the pegasus she was talking to exclaimed. “It sounds like your trip to the Amarezon was quite eventful!”

“Well, that is certainly one way of putting it,” Octavia agreed, pausing to take a sip from a glass of water she had resting nearby. The three mares – Vinyl was also present- were currently lying on comfortable couches located on the deck of a boat. All over the boat various ponies were walking around, eating, or simply taking in the spectacular view of the ocean. Out past the bow of the ship, the sun was just starting to set.

“Have you ever considered writing up this adventure of yours?” the pegasus asked. “I’m in the book business, as it is – the name’s Exposition, in case I forgot to mention earlier – and I think that a book or even books based on this adventure would sell spectacularly!”

Both Vinyl and Octavia took a moment to consider this before bursting out into laughter. “Are you kidding?!” Vinyl asked, struggling to speak through her laughter. “Who would want to read about two mares like us?!”

“Vinyl certainly sums it up well,” Octavia agreed, still chuckling slightly. “Nopony would consider that adventure interesting – as a matter of fact, I think they would fall asleep reading it!”

“Well, if you insist,” Exposition said, a subtle smile on her face. “Although personally, I think that you two should at least consider it a little more seriously. After all, a few extra bits never hurt somepony and their marefriend, did they?”

It took Vinyl and Octavia another moment to realise what Exposition was saying before they burst out laughing again.

“You- you think we’re in a relationship?” Octavia choked out, wiping a tear from her face.

“Can you believe this mare, Octavia?” Vinyl laughed. “Just because you’d totally do me, she thinks that we’re in a relationship!”

“Exactly! Just because I – wait, what?” Octavia stopped laughing as she took in Vinyl’s words.

“No need to hide your feelings, Octavia,” Vinyl said, grinning as she playfully punched Octavia in the shoulder. She levitated a bottle of cider from a nearby table and took a swig.

In response, Octavia frowned. She wasn’t sure whether Vinyl was joking or not.

“What?!” Vinyl asked. “It’s no big deal. I’d do you in a second if we had to for some reason!” As Octavia opened her mouth to reply, there was a cough from Exposition.

“Apologies, Exposition, for Vinyl’s rudeness,” Octavia said. “Ignore everything she’s saying – I don’t know where she gets these ideas into her head. Likely all that alcohol she consumes.”

“This is only my third bottle!” Vinyl protested, although the smile on her face showed that she was taking it all in good humour.

“Anyway,” Octavia continued, ignoring her unicorn friend, “as I was saying, I doubt whether a book about our Amarezonian trip would sell that well, or be particularly interesting.”

“Oh, come on,” Exposition pressed, “I’m sure that there’s a good story in there somewhere. At least let me ask you a few questions - Octavia, I already know that Vinyl travelled to the Amarezon Jungle to find the lost treasure of the tribes, but why did you go?”

Seeing no harm in at least answering a few questions, Octavia replied, “Funnily enough, the same way Vinyl and I ended up on this boat cruise – I won tickets in a competition.” A subtle smile crossed her lips as she added, “Hopefully, this holiday will be somewhat less eventful than the last one.”

“Can’t say I blame you,” Exposition agreed. “And remind me – who was this Baron von Darkhoof again? I thought I was fairly familiar with the noble houses of Canterlot, but I can’t say I’ve heard of him.”

Vinyl Scratch snorted. “He wishes he was a damn baron! He was pretty unremarkable, to be honest – all I remember is some crap about how he wanted the treasure to make himself more powerful since he was really arrogant, and declared himself a baron because he was that up himself.”

Octavia nodded. “Vinyl puts it bluntly, but accurately.”

“Hmm, interesting,” Exposition said. She grabbed a notepad out of her saddlebag, which was lying by the couch she was on, and jotted down a few notes. “Something else I’ve been wondering about – Vinyl, you said that you sought the treasure for your ill father. Was it as successful as you hoped, or –”

“Whoah there, when did this turn into an interview?” Vinyl interrupted. “We’ve already said that we’re not going to get a book done about our Amarezonian trip, and that’s final.” Octavia nodded in agreement. “C’mon, Octavia,” Vinyl continued, “let’s get out of here before Exposition can interrogate us further. I’m out of cider; we can go hit up the boat’s bar.”

“Nice meeting you, Exposition,” Octavia said politely before following her unicorn friend.

“Likewise,” Exposition replied, before returning to her notepad and jotting down some further notes.

==============

“Ah yes, I do recall speaking to Exposition,” Octavia said, as Vinyl finished explaining. “She certainly lived up to her name.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vinyl asked, confused.

Although Vinyl couldn’t see it in the darkness, Octavia shook her head in response. “Never mind. Anyway, it still doesn’t assist us in finding out where we are.”

“I might be able to help with that,” Vinyl said, grinning once more. “Give me a sec and I can probs shed some light on the subject.” There was a moment or two of silence as Vinyl concentrated and Octavia waited patiently, before Vinyl’s horn lit up, illuminating the room. It was a fairly basic spell which any unicorn old enough to have their cutie mark would be able to cast with ease.

With their visibilities restored, both ponies examined the room they were in. It was long and rectangular, and as Octavia had suspected, made entirely of metal. It wasn’t, however, until Octavia examined the bolted door that she was able to work out what was happening.

“Vinyl…” Octavia breathed, feeling a little queasy, “I- I think I know where we are. I think I know what’s happening to us.”

“Same here,” Vinyl said. She had been examining a large patch of rust on one of the walls, but turned to Octavia. “We’re in a dream,” she said seriously.

“…I beg your pardon?” Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow sceptically.

“We’re in a dream,” Vinyl repeated. “You know how in a dream, you can never remember how you got to where you are? I think that we’re –”

“Vinyl, we’re not in a dream,” Octavia deadpanned. “No, we are somewhere much, much, worse…”

“Where?” Vinyl asked, deadly serious.

“I- I think we’re in a shipping container. On a boat, somewhere in the ocean.” Vinyl stared at Octavia blankly. “Do you know what this means? It means that we are being shipped together!!”

Vinyl gasped. If she had been wearing her trademark purple glasses, they probably would have fallen off her face in shock. “We’re – we’re being shipped?” she whispered, a look of horror upon her face.

“Yes, Vinyl – we are being shipped together,” Octavia said. She couldn’t have been more serious if she tried.

Vinyl lay down on the ground, pressing her head to her hooves. “But- but I don’t want to be shipped,” she replied sadly.

“My thoughts exactly,” Octavia agreed, walking over to Vinyl and putting a hoof on her shoulder. “But if we want to get out of this, and stop being shipped, we can’t just lie down and do nothing – we’ve got to work together.”

“Okay, Octavia,” Vinyl said, getting to her hooves. “What do you need me to do?”

“Any chance you could use your telekinesis to unlock the door?” Octavia asked, pointing. “I would do it myself, but there is surely another bolt on the other side of it.”

“You’ve got it!” Vinyl said, trotting over to the door. The locks of the door were surrounded by her magical aura, and it wasn’t long before they were forcefully shoved out of place. “There! Now we’ve just gotta – uh oh.”

“What is the problem?” Octavia asked, trotting over. Vinyl had tried pushing the doors open, but nothing had happened.

“Damn thing isn’t opening. I dunno whether it’s rust, or whether there’s just a ton of crap behind it, but this door is as stuck as it gets,” Vinyl replied, grimacing.

“Bother. I was hoping we could escape through there, but it seems that whomever is… shipping us… planned for us trying to escape.” Octavia sighed.

“Any idea who it could be, Octavia?” Vinyl asked.

“Not a single clue,” Octavia admitted. “Whomever it is who is shipping us, I – I don’t even want to think about what sort of pony would do something like that.”

“Yeah… it sure is weird,” Vinyl agreed. There were a few minutes of silence as the two ponies looked around their containment, searching for a way out. “I’ve got it!” Vinyl said, stomping a hoof on the ground in excitement.

“Yes?! What is it?” Octavia asked excitedly.

“I was watching this thing the other day, and I just got a great idea,” Vinyl said, smiling broadly. “Have you ever heard of a Giga Drill Brea-”

“No, and I am not sure that I want to,” Octavia interrupted, putting a hoof in Vinyl’s mouth to silence her. Whatever that is, I doubt whether it would be able to help us, she thought.

Octavia looked around the shipping container, hoping that inspiration would strike. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a darkened patch on one of the sides. What in the name of Celestia is that? she wondered, getting up to examine it. Upon closer inspection, it was a large patch of rust. Hmm… I wonder… she thought, tapping it with a hoof.

“Any ideas, Octavia?” Vinyl asked, looking over to see what the grey Earth pony was doing.

“The rust has weakened this part of the shipping container – I think I can knock through it. It shall be a tight squeeze, but the two of us should be able to get out of this container!”

“Awesome!” Vinyl said, a grin plastered on her face. “I don’t think I could stand being shipped for one more minute! Do your thing, Octavia!”

Turning away from the rusty area, Octavia tapped the side of the container with a hoof once or twice to ensure that she could reach it, before standing on her front hooves and bucking it as hard as she could. Before Octavia’s mighty Earth pony strength, the area bent inwards.

“Great job, Octavia!” Vinyl complimented. “We’d better get outta here – whomever was shipping us must have heard that from miles away.” Although they had to struggle a bit to fit through the gap, it was only a few minutes before both ponies had squeezed out, and escaped their prison. Looking around, it seemed that the two were in the hold of a ship, as Octavia had suspected. Surrounding them were several crates, ropes, and rags.

“Aw yeah! Whoever thought they could keep shipping us forever is gonna be totally shocked when they see that we’ve escaped!” Vinyl cheered happily. Her joy was so great that she reared for a few seconds.

“We’re not out of the woods yet, Vinyl – we’ve still got to get off the ship and back to our cruise ship,” Octavia pointed out. “Or at least to some sort of civilisation. We have no idea how far out in the ocean we are.”

“Fair point, Octavia – I reckon we should –” Vinyl stopped speaking as the sound of voices drifted down the stairs.

“…even if it is nothing, it doesn’t hurt to check, does it?” The voice of a stallion could be heard, alongside the sound of hooves walking down the metal stairs.

“I guess you’ve got a point,” a second voice agreed. “The boss’ll be pissed if they’ve gotten out.” Vinyl and Octavia exchanged glances.

“Quick!” Octavia whispered to Vinyl, looking around swiftly, “over here!” The two mares ducked behind a nearby crate, and Vinyl levitated a rag to cover them. By no means was it a perfect disguise, but with some luck, the darkness of the hold and the stallions’ impatience would mean that they wouldn’t look around too carefully.

“What did I tell ya?” the first stallion said as he reached the shipping container Vinyl and Octavia had been locked in. The gaping hole was clearly visible. “They got out somehow!”

Vinyl risked a peek over the top of the box to see who the ponies were. Both were wearing simple, dirty clothes. They also had sheathed swords, the handles easily within reach of their mouths for if they quickly needed to draw them for a fight. Ducking back behind the crate quickly, Vinyl mouthed to Octavia, “Pirates!”

“Well then, if they’ve gotten out, then it’s obvious where they are…” the second pirate said, casting his gaze around the room. Vinyl and Octavia exchanged worried looks.

“Yeah… there’s only one place they could have gone…” the first pirate added, taking a step or two closer to Vinyl and Octavia’s hiding place. The two mares were tense, torn between whether to run or fight in the next few minutes.

“To the deck of course!” the pirates said in unison. They turned around from Vinyl and Octavia’s hiding place, and started heading back up the stairs.

“They must have made their escape as soon as possible – they might even have leapt off the side of the ship,” one of the pirates suggested, his companion nodding in agreement. Vinyl and Octavia waited a few moments to see whether they were returning, before both sighing in relief.

“Well, that was certainly anticlimactic,” Octavia commented.

“Uh, Octavia?” Vinyl asked.

“Yes, Vinyl?”

“You’re kinda hugging me. Really tightly.” For the first time since they had hidden, Octavia actually took conscious notice of her position – as Vinyl had pointed out, she had her hooves wrapped tightly around her.

“Oh. Apologies, Vinyl,” Octavia said, embarrassed. She quickly withdrew her hooves, throwing the rag which had been covering the two off in the process. “In the tense moment, I must have unconsciously – I mean, it was somewhat frightening, and –”

“Hey,” Vinyl said, smiling friendlily, “you don’t have to apologise to me, alright?” As she spoke, she used a hoof to tilt Octavia’s head, which had been facing the ground, so that the two ponies were facing each other.

“Th-thank you, Vinyl,” Octavia answered, wondering why her heart was beating swiftly in spite of the danger of the pirates having passed. Changing topics, she said, “Now, I suppose that we should try and find some sort of emergency lifeboats, so that we may leave this ship as soon as possible – I have no idea where they would be kept, however.”

“More importantly – we’d better try and find out where we are first,” Vinyl pointed out. “No reason for us to take a boat if we’re a billion miles out from Equestria.”

“Excellent point, Vinyl,” Octavia agreed. “So… I suppose we should find the ship’s navigation room, work out where we are, and plot our next course of action from there.”

“Got it! Now, should we get out from behind this crate?” Vinyl asked cheerfully. “It’s kinda cramped, and I think I’m sitting in some grease.”

“Oh. Yes, I suppose we had better.” The two ponies got out from behind the crate, and after Vinyl had wiped the majority of the grease from her fur with a nearby rag, the two ponies crept up the stairs from the hold, keeping their ears open for any nearby pirates.

“What do we do if we spot pirates?” Octavia whispered, poking her head out to the deck and spotting nothing.

“Attack them, I guess?” Vinyl suggested, going out to the deck. She was keeping her body low to the ground, her eyes shifting from side to side. She was ready to react to anything in a split-second.

“Wouldn’t it be safer to simply try and avoid them?” Octavia asked, following Vinyl out onto the deck and reluctantly mimicking her movements. “That way, if they don’t find us, we are safe to continue to the navigation room. If they do find us, then we can fight them.”

“You have no sense of adventure,” Vinyl replied, smiling broadly as she looked into a room to see whether it was empty.

“And that is a bad thing?” Octavia questioned, turning around to check whether anypony was coming up from behind them.

“Of course not. It’s the reason I lo-” Vinyl was cut off as two pirates turned the corner ahead of her and Octavia, spotting the two mares immediately.

“Shanty and Plunder were right!” one shouted out. “The prisoners have escaped!” Without hesitation, the two pirates draw their swords from their sheaths – one with his mouth, the other using his unicorn magic to do so.

“Vinyl? Any ideas?” Octavia asked, taking a few steps backwards. In response, Vinyl’s eyes narrowed.

“Octavia,” she said, staring straight ahead at the advancing pirates, devoid of any fear, “prepare yourself.”

“Prepare myself for - wait a minute, what are you –”

“EPIC OCTAVIA MANEUVEUR!!!” Vinyl shouted. She had surrounded Octavia in a magical aura, and after taking a moment to gather her strength, threw her Earth pony friend at the advancing pirates. Between Octavia’s natural strength and resilience, courtesy of her race, and the speed at which Vinyl had thrown her, the two pirates were bowled over. They hit the deck so hard that they were knocked unconscious before they could even take in what had happened.

Unfortunately for Octavia, Vinyl had miscalculated the angle to throw her at, and as a result, she went flying past the pirates after hitting them… and over the ship’s railing. “I hate this holidaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!” Octavia shouted as gravity dragged her down towards the ocean.

Vinyl winced as she heard a splash a moment later. That’s gotta hurt, she thought. Going over and leaning over the railing, she spotted Octavia keeping herself afloat in the water. “You okay, Octavia?” she called out.

“Vinyl, you bloody idiot!” Octavia called back. “Can you not warn me next time you are about to do something like that? Or just not do it at all?!”

“How is saying ‘prepare yourself’ not warning you?”

“You didn’t even – I mean, you expect me to – just help me find a way back onto the damn ship!” Octavia shouted.

Looking around the deck, Vinyl spotted a length of rope coiled up. Probably needed for some important shipping thing, she deduced, but meh. Octavia and I are more important than any old ship! She levitated the rope and threw it down to Octavia, making sure to tie it to the railing before doing so. “There! Try climbing up!”

Octavia did so, muttering under her breath the entire time. Although she nearly let go once or twice, she eventually made it back to the ship’s deck. Naturally, once she was sure that she was stable, the first thing she did was smack Vinyl.

“You idiot, Vinyl! If I hadn’t thought to curl into a ball, I might have broken every bone in my body!” Octavia hissed. “Not to mention what would have happened if the ship had moved off before you could help me back up – or if there had been sharks in the water!”

“I-I guess I deserved that,” Vinyl admitted, rubbing the spot on her face where Octavia had slapped her with a hoof. “Sorry, Octavia – I misjudged the throw. But hey,” she added, trying to lighten the atmosphere, “look! We got free pirate costumes!” She pointed a hoof at the unconscious pirates.

“The benefit being?” Octavia asked in a monotone.

“We can disguise ourselves as them! Sure, it might not be perfect, but at a distance at least it should fool some ponies. Look, their coat colours are even similar to ours!”

“Hmm…” Octavia put a hoof to her mouth in thought as she considered the idea. “What shall we do with the bodies, should we choose to do this?”

“Tie them up with the rope, and throw ‘em in the hold,” Vinyl said, grinning as she untied the rope from the railing. “If everything that can go wrong does – which let’s face it, knowing us will probably happen – it at least delays them or whatever.”

“Very well, Vinyl, I approve of this plan,” Octavia agreed. As Vinyl went to strip the pirates of their clothing, Octavia smacked her on the back of the head.

“Hey! What was that for?” Vinyl asked angrily.

“The first smack was for throwing me overboard,” Octavia replied slyly. “That one was for getting my mane wet.”

==============

“So… how do I look?” Vinyl asked, grimacing slightly.

“You look the same as I do – as though you stole a pirate costume two sizes too large for you,” Octavia replied, looking slightly embarrassed. True to her word, the two were wearing the clothes the pirates they had taken out had been wearing, but they were horrible fits.

“This isn’t anything like in the books, huh?” Vinyl commented, rolling up a sleeve only for it to immediately fall back down and cover her hoof. “In the books, characters always find uniforms the exact right size for them!”

“Why would you expect this to be anything like in a book?” Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow. “This is reality, Vinyl. “

“Could’ve fooled me,” Vinyl muttered. “Anyway, seeing as how these disguises are kinda impractical, what say we ditch them?”

“Yes, that would certainly be the smartest ploy,” Octavia agreed, struggling to unbutton her shirt using her hooves.

“Pity,” Vinyl said, grinning, “you looked pretty damn cute dressed up as a pirate. Here, let me give you a hoof unbuttoning that shirt.”

As Vinyl used her telekinesis to assist Octavia, the grey mare went over what Vinyl had said in her head. Could it be… that Vinyl was starting to develop a crush on her? No, of course not – that would just be silly. The unicorn was obviously just joking around with her.

“There!” Vinyl announced, smiling as per usual, “that should be a bit easier to get off. I’ll tell you what, you can tell that whoever invented buttons wasn’t a unicorn. Now, shall we -”

The unicorn with the messy blue mane was cut off as two pirates walked around the corner, talking about some matter or another. They were too deeply engrossed in conversation to notice the two mares still half-dressed in pirate clothes, but it was only a matter of moments before they would.

“What do we do?” Octavia asked, a lump rising in her throat as she looked around the deck for a hiding place. I swear to Celestia, if she tries throwing me at them again…
“Make out and hope they don’t notice us?”

“Vinyl, this is no time for your… actually… that might just work,” Octavia said, quickly thinking it over. There was certainly no time to think of another plan.

As the two pirates approached closer, still deep in conversation, Vinyl and Octavia stood up on their hind legs, pressing up against the nearby wall. Staring deeply into Octavia’s eyes, Vinyl hesitated for a moment, before leaning in and kissing her best friend.

Octavia got a strange feeling in her body as Vinyl’s lips touched hers. A feeling of…pleasure? For a few brief seconds, the unicorn’s lips explored hers… before Vinyl withdrew and starting spitting onto the deck. “Urgh! Pturgh! Ptuh!” The pirates walked past, not even batting an eyelid – whatever they were talking about, it must have been deeply engaging.

“No offense, Octavia, but that was disgusting!” Vinyl said, a look of disgust and embarrassment upon her face.

“…My thoughts exactly,” Octavia murmured, licking her lips slightly.

“I’m sorry Octavia, that was such a dumb idea!” Vinyl continued, wiping her lips with a hoof. “I don’t know why I thought that was a better plan than hiding behind those crates!”

“Wait a moment – what?” Octavia questioned, frowning slightly.

“Those crates over there,” Vinyl repeated, pointing a hoof to a few stacked crates which Octavia had somehow failed to notice. “I thought about us hiding behind them, but in the end I figured this’d be a better plan.” She facehoofed. “Man, I am such an idiot!”

“It’s okay, Vinyl,” Octavia said, putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “The pirates didn’t take any notice of us, so there was no harm done.”

“Yeah, I guess… I’m so sorry, Octavia,” Vinyl said, still feeling like an idiot. Her expression suddenly changed from worry to a much more cheerful one, her mouth slowly moving to a grin. “I promise you, next time we make out, I’ll make it much better.” As though nothing had happened, she took off the rest of her pirate clothes, and resumed sneaking along the deck, looking for the navigation room.

Behind her, Octavia facehoofed after standing there stunned for a few moments. “I swear, Vinyl, I will never understand you,” she muttered to herself.

==============

“So…you think that this is the navigation room?” Vinyl whispered to Octavia. Both mares were pressed up against either side of a doorway . They had managed to make their way to the top deck of the ship, having to avoid only a few pirates – Octavia had speculated that the size of the crew wasn’t directly proportional to the size of the ship.

“Well, I see some maps in there, and the pony in there seems to be using some sort of magical compass in accordance with the maps, so yes, I would assume so,” Octavia whispered back.

“Alright. On the count of three, we jump him,” Vinyl said. “One… two…” she paused a moment and looked at her hoof, realising that she didn’t have fingers to count with. She shrugged. “Ah, screw it, let’s just take him now.”

The two mares burst into the navigation room. “Freeze!” shouted out Octavia to the unsuspecting navigator.

“What the – the prisoners!” he shouted out. The navigator of the ship was a white-coated pegasus with a beard – presumably he took advantage of his flight to scout out the area whilst the pirates were at sea. “How did you –”

“None of your business, pal,” Vinyl interrupted, levitating him into the air. The room was too cramped for a proper fight, but nevertheless it would prevent him from trying anything unexpected. “You’ve still got that rope, Octavia?”

“Naturally, Vinyl,” Octavia replied smartly. Although the navigator tried to struggle against both Vinyl’s telekinetic field and Octavia tying him up with the rope, it wasn’t long before he was bound and helpless.

“Great job, Octavia!” Vinyl complimented. The two brohoofed each other in celebration.

“You’ll pay for this!” the navigator spat.

“Now, let’s see, where are we…?” Octavia said, ignoring the navigator as she looked around the room. There was a desk in the middle of it with various papers and figures, which she swiftly began sifting through. “Good news, Vinyl!”

“What is it?” Vinyl asked, looking away from the navigator, who was straining his wings and trying to break out of the ropes.

“If these diagrams and maps are correct, we’re not too far from our cruise ship!” Octavia announced cheerfully. “See? The model of this ship is located here on the map, and our cruise ship is over here.”

“Wait a second…” Vinyl said, levitating the two small figurines and examining them. “How come they’ve got a model for the ship we were on? Were they planning on raiding that specific ship?”

“It would not surprise me,” Octavia replied. “They are pirates after all.”

“Yeah, but pirates who go after cruise ships? Surely there’d be better booty out in the ocean than them.” Vinyl was so busy contemplating the model ship that she didn’t notice Octavia giggle at the word “booty” as she had some very dirty thoughts, some of which would have made Vinyl blush in embarrassment if she had known what they were.

“Another thing,” Vinyl continued as she set down the model, “if they were after our ship, what were they after? There was no treasure or anything in the hold, and as far as we know, we’re the only ponies who were taken from the ship.”

“Wait a minute… are you suggesting that they raided our ship solely to capture us?” Octavia asked, starting to take the matter seriously.

“Well, we still don’t know exactly how they captured us,” Vinyl pointed out. “I’m starting to picture some sort of midnight raid – they come onto our ship in the middle of the night, knock us both out somehow to make sure we stay asleep, then take us to this ship and throw us in the hold.”

“That… that is actually quite plausible,” Octavia murmured, starting to worry now. “But- but who captured us? And why would anypony want to ship us?”

Vinyl shook her head. “I dunno, but – hey! Where did the navigator go?”

Octavia’s gaze flashed to the floor, where there was nothing but the rope. Vinyl was correct – the pegasus had managed to escape his bonds somehow. They had done the same thing the two pirates had earlier – they had been too wrapped up in their conversation to notice what was happening around them.

“So… what now?” Vinyl asked after staring at the rope for a few more moments.

“I – I suppose we had best find a lifeboat, and get off this ship as soon as possible,” Octavia suggested. “According to this map, our ship was here, wasn’t it? It is quite a distance, but we should be able to reach it with a lifeboat.”

“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” Vinyl said seriously. “I’ll grab one of these compasses and-”

“Vinyl!” Octavia shouted as the unicorn reached a hoof out for a compass. “Do you see that?”

“Huh?” Vinyl looked around the small room, but didn’t see what Octavia was panicking so much about. “Octavia, what are you on abo-”

“There! Look, Vinyl!” Octavia exclaimed, pointing to Vinyl’s hoof. “It’s the Black Spot!”

“The what?” Vinyl asked, examining her hoof.

“It’s the sign that pirates use to mark their victims!” Octavia said, starting to panic. “The navigator must have somehow gotten it onto you! That must have been what he meant when he said we would pay!” She started frantically looking all over her own body for a similar mark.

“Uh, Octavia…?” Vinyl asked dully as she continued to stare at her hoof.

“Have you ever heard of the mark?” Octavia asked, still panicking. “Some ponies say that it calls the legendary Kraken to the pony who is marked with the spot, forever chasing them until they are either eaten or they leave the ocean. Some say that the pony who receives it drops dead exactly five days after it has been placed on their body – and there are even some who say –”

“Octavia!” Vinyl shouted.

“What, Vinyl?!”

“It’s, uh, just a bit of grease from earlier,” Vinyl explained. “See? Rubs right off.”

“…Oh,” Octavia said slowly, calming herself down. “Well, I – I suppose I overreacted a little there. Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“Naww, nice to know you care so much about me,” Vinyl said, wrapping a hoof around Octavia and grinning. A moment later her expression returned to a more serious one. “But seriously, we should get off now – who knows where that navigator could have gotten to?”

“Agreed,” Octavia said, nodding. “Grab that compass, and then we can head to the stern of the ship – I think I saw some lifeboats there when we –”

“Not so fast,” came a voice from the doorway. The two ponies spun around to face the door, where their fears were confirmed – it was the navigator. And standing behind him were half a dozen pirates (including the two Vinyl and Octavia had knocked out earlier), all looking eager to deal maximum harm to the two mares.

“I think that you two will surrender and allow yourselves to be taken to the captain,” the navigator said as he took a step or two into the room, “at least if you don’t want to be locked up in the hold for the rest of your lives. Which, by the way, wouldn’t be very long.” He wore a smug smile on his face.

Vinyl and Octavia looked to each other, each hoping that the other had thought up a brilliant plan to escape. But unfortunately, both knew that the situation was exactly as it looked – bad.

“Fine,” sighed Octavia. “We surrender.”

==============

“The prisoners are here to see you, Captain,” the navigator said sarcastically as he entered the bridge with Octavia and Vinyl Scratch in tow. The navigator was so skilled in the crew’s competence that he hadn’t even bothered to restrain them.

“Excellent work, True North,” the captain replied. He had had his back to the group of ponies, but as he talked, he turned around slowly and dramatically. “I’ve been waiting to see these two for a long, long time…”

Both Vinyl and Octavia gasped, recognising the pirate captain immediately. “Baron von Darkhoof!” they said in unison. The dark green pegasus was wearing a pirate uniform similar to the rest of the crew, only slightly tidier. Like the crew, he had a sword in a sheath, ready to be drawn at a moment’s notice.

“That’s Captain Darkhoof to you two!” he announced, glaring at them as he said so. “I am the captain of this ship, after all, alongside-”

“Me!” interrupted a new voice. “Stumblefeather, the first mate!” The blue pegasus flew in through a door on the other side of the bridge and landed awkwardly. “Hey guys. How’s it going?” he asked. Octavia nodded curtly to him. Vinyl Scratch, on the other hoof, started to snicker in spite of the dire situation.

“Really?” she asked, struggling to control her laughter. “Baron – sorry, Captain – von Darkhoof and Stumblefeather? Who’s next? The bartender who kicked us out during our bar crawl?”

“Funny you should say that…” a voice from amongst the pirates said. A pony pushed his way to the front of the group. He was covering his face with a bandanna, but as he spoke, he removed it. “I’ll bet you two thought you were oh-so-clever that night, running away, didn’t you? Little did you know that that night you destroyed my life! You see-”

“Hey, who said you could talk?” Vinyl interrupted angrily. “The important ponies are speaking right now, so shut up and listen!”

“Listen to Messy Unicorn, sailor!” Darkhoof snapped.

“What is it you want with us?” Octavia asked Darkhoof. If their lives were in danger, she might as well get some answers to some questions – or alternatively, stall for time whilst she tried to think of some way to get out of the situation. “We know that you captured only us two from the cruise ship, so whatever you’re up to, Darkhoof, it obviously involves us.”

“Better question,” Vinyl added, “how did you survive the tomb collapsing back in the Amarezonian Jungle? We barely got out ourselves!”

“There was a window high up in the room we were in,” Darkhoof revealed. “It wasn’t visible from the ground. Stumblefeather and I managed to escape through it, and after several days’ travel, we returned to civilisation.

“As for what I want from you two, isn’t it obvious? I seek revenge for you two taking away the treasure of the Amarezonian Jungle from me – for taking away my destiny!” He stomped a hoof to the floor angrily, causing some small cracks to travel along the floorboards. “I set up things so that you two would end up out here, on that cruise – all so that you would be within the reach of my pirate crew!”

“Wait – we went on that Amarezonian expedition nearly a year ago now,” Octavia pointed out. “Why wait nearly a year to capture Vinyl and I?”

“Have you ever tried to rig a competition, or form a pirate crew?!” Darkhoof barked. “These things take time!” Stumblefeather nodded in agreement.

“It’s true,” he said. “In fact, it’s only a few weeks until the anniversary of the day he declared revenge on you two!”

“So then… what do you want to do with us?” Octavia asked nervously. She looked around the bridge, hoping for an idea, any idea, to spring to mind.

“You’re not gonna make us walk the plank, are you?” Vinyl asked. “Octavia’s already been in the water today – I don’t think she wants to go in again.”

“It’s funny that you mention that, Messy Unicorn,” Darkhoof announced. “I had originally planned on dumping the shipping container with you two in it into the ocean. But now that you two are here, I’ve thought of a better plan.”

“Let us go free with no hard feelings?” Vinyl asked optimistically.

“Leave us on an island, unable to bother you again?” Octavia proposed a little more realistically.

“Free cake for everypony?” Stumblefeather suggested.

“None of those!” Darkhoof barked. He moved closer to Vinyl and Octavia, and slowly drew his sword from its sheath. “I’m going to cut both of you down where you stand,” he said, his voice muffled by the sword handle in his mouth.

“Oh no you don’t!” Vinyl shouted, surrounding the sword in a telekinetic field and yanking it out of Darkhoof’s mouth. She sent it flying through the room, Stumblefeather having to duck to avoid it. “Octavia,” she shouted as she used telekinesis to knock Darkhoof over, “we’ve got to get out of here! Now!”

“You’ve got it-” Octavia began, turning towards the doorway. The next few words died in her throat as the pirates began drawing their swords, eager to fight the ponies their captain had ordered them to capture. As small as the crew was for a ship of this size – it couldn’t have been much larger than six or seven ponies – it looked as though Vinyl and Octavia would be in for the fight of their lives.

Fortunately, the doorway into the bridge was narrow, which was keeping the majority of the pirates out in the corridor. Octavia took advantage of this, swiftly bucking the navigator, who was at the front of the group. He fell backwards, knocking over several of the pirates, causing enough chaos to buy Vinyl and Octavia a bit more time.

“Come on, Vinyl!” Octavia called, grabbing her friend by the hoof and dragging her out the door Stumblefeather had entered through. Stumblefeather himself had just been thrown into Darkhoof, knocking the two over and causing even more chaos.

“Where are we headed, Octavia?!” Vinyl shouted as the two galloped around the top deck, not entirely sure what they were looking for.

“The lifeboats!” Octavia replied. “Like you said, we’ve got to get out of here!”

“Right! Now, where do you think they – whoah!” Vinyl was cut off as the two ponies turned a corner and ran straight into a pair of pirates. In the blink of an eye, the pirates had drawn their swords.

“Hey Treasure Trove, what do you think the Captain will give us for getting rid of these two?” one of them asked the other. The other chuckled in response.

“A buck to the face, mayhaps?” Octavia suggested, spinning around on her front hooves and kicking the pirate in the face. For her part, Vinyl used her telekinesis to slam the other pirate into a wall, instantly knocking him out. A moment later, she put a hoof to her head, wincing as she did so. “Are you okay?” Octavia asked, concerned.

“Y-yeah. I’ve just been exerting my telekinesis a bit today – I’d better watch myself.” Vinyl shook her head briefly. “Don’t worry about me, Octavia – I’ll be fine.”

“Good to know,” Octavia said as the two resumed galloping, although she still raised an eyebrow in concern. “If those two pirates are anything to go by, we may be lucky – they might have split up to search the ship for us. It will at least make any fights easier.”

“Yeah… I’d still be happier if we could just find a lifeboat and get the hay off this damn ship,” Vinyl commented. “Where are we galloping to, anyway?”

“I am trying to find a way around to the back of the boat,” Octavia revealed. “In the navigation room I spotted a layout of the boat – if I recall correctly, the lifeboats were at the back.”

The two mares sped up only to once more run into a pair of pirates. With the help of an adrenaline rush, Octavia and Vinyl were able to once more knock out their adversaries, Octavia doing so by bucking her opponent over the rail and to the deck below.

“How many more pirates do you think there are?” Vinyl asked, wiping a drop of sweat from her brow.

“I’m not quite sure off the top of my head, but there surely can’t be many more,” Octavia said, poking the body of the remaining pirate with a hoof to check that he truly was unconscious. “The crew does seem fairly small – I am assuming that Darkhoof had difficulty finding ponies who wanted to be pirates and who were actually willing to go through with it.”

“Good theory,” Vinyl said. “Guess we’d better get going now – we don’t want to linger too long.”

The two mares leapt down a set of stairs leading to the lower deck. They had barely taken a step from that, however, when Stumblefeather descended from above and landed in front of them. He fell flat on his face for a moment before getting up. “Hi again, guys!” he said cheerfully.

“Stumblefeather! I, uh, don’t suppose there’s any way you’d let us get past you to the back of the ship and the lifeboats, is there?” Vinyl asked, flashing him a grin.

“Nope. Sorry guys, Darkhoof wants me to stop you,” Stumblefeather said, a sad expression upon his face. Vinyl’s ears dropped. “…But then again, I’d have to actually see you to stop you, wouldn’t I? And so far I’ve searched the entire ship, and still haven’t found a thing!” He winked as he spoke.

Both Vinyl and Octavia broke out into smiles. “Thank you, Stumblefeather,” Octavia said warmly. “We really do appreciate it!”

“No problem,” Stumblefeather said, hovering back into the air. “I’ll direct the rest of the pirates around to the front of the ship – but if I run into you guys again and Darkhoof is around, don’t expect me to be able to help you guys much.” He smacked into the railing on the deck above Vinyl and Octavia, before recovering and flying towards the back of the ship.

“He truly is a strange pony,” Octavia commented as she and Vinyl resumed their race towards the lifeboats. “I cannot tell whether he’s on our side or not.”

“Yeah, but he did give me a pretty good reason for why he works for Darkhoof back in the Amarezon Jungle,” Vinyl said. “Remind me to tell you some – look! The lifeboats!”

As Octavia had said, the lifeboats were at the back of the ship. One was currently hanging over the water from some sort of complicated pulley system. As the two ponies reached the lifeboats, Vinyl jumped into it. “C’mon, Octavia! What’re you waiting for?” she asked.

“Hold on a moment, Vinyl – we can’t exactly just throw the lifeboat into the water,” Octavia pointed out. “Let us see… Ah ha! Instructions!” There was a small crank attached to the lifeboat’s pulley system, which in turn had a plaque next to it. “‘Thank you for purchasing your new Ironhoof Boat-Lowering System©, sure to assist you and your family and/or pirate crew in your future boating endeavours…’” Octavia read out dully. She skimmed the rest of the plaque in silence.

“Well? What does it say, Octavia?” Vinyl jumped up and down in the boat a little.

“It seems simple enough – all that needs to be done to lower the boat is that this crank be turned,” Octavia responded. “Your telekinesis can manage that, I presume?”

“Sure th-”

“NOT SO FAST!” a harsh voice barked from somewhere up high. Captain Darkhoof swooped down, knocking Octavia over and turning in a wide arc, so that he was still facing the two ponies. “I’d rather die than have you two escape my ship!” he growled as he hovered in the air. He had retrieved a sword from somewhere, and possibly to compensate for Vinyl removing one from him earlier, had a second sword just below that one.

“I guess you’d better get ready to die then, because we’re leaving whether you want it or not!” Vinyl replied. She jumped out of the boat and helped Octavia to her hooves.

“On the contrary, Messy Unicorn, it is you who will die!” Darkhoof shouted, somehow managing to pull off a sly grin as he did so. He withdrew his sword from its scabbard, and advanced towards the two ponies.

In response to this, Vinyl and Octavia merely grinned. “We fight our way through all of those pirates, and you somehow think that you’re a match for us?” Octavia asked. “Dear me, Darkhoof, you don’t know us at all.” Of course, it was easy for the two mares to be more confident when Darkhoof wasn’t surrounded by his entire crew, as he had been before.

Spinning around on her front hooves, Octavia bucked Darkhoof in the chest as hard as she could. Despite his muscular build, the pegasus went flying back, hitting a barrel hard enough to break it.

“My wing!” he shouted in pain. “You dirty, filthy Earth pony – you’ve damaged my wing!” The pegasus flew into the air, trying to hover, but it was clear from the way he was slowly drifting to the side of the boat that he was having difficulties doing so.

“You’ve weakened him, Octavia – let’s get out of here, now!” Vinyl said to her companion.

“Oh no you don’t!” Darkhoof barked. His effort to stay in the air was failing, and he was losing more height with each wing flap. Nevertheless, he still had enough strength to withdraw his second sword from its sheath and throw it at the duo before his wing spasmed and he fell from the air, down towards the deep ocean.

“Nooo!!” Octavia yelled, taking in the attack in a split-second. She dived at Vinyl and knocked her to the ground. The sword landed blade-first in the lifeboat, vibrating slightly as it did so.

“Wow, Octavia, you saved me,” Vinyl said sincerely. “I – I wish I could repay you somehow.” There was a long pause as the two ponies stared into each other’s eyes.

“Well, Vinyl,” Octavia whispered, “have you ever considered k-”

“Uh, Octavia?” Vinyl interrupted. “No offense, but you’re kinda heavy. Any chance you could get off me?”

“Oh. Um, of course, Vinyl,” Octavia said, rolling over onto the deck. In the heat of the moment, she had forgotten about Darkhoof. Looking around the deck, she could neither see nor hear him. She pointed this out to Vinyl.

“It kinda looked like he was struggling to stay in the air at the end there,” Vinyl commented. “Do – do you think he might’ve fallen into the ocean?” Octavia rushed to the side of the boat in response.

“…If he did, I see no sign of him,” Octavia said, scanning the water with her keen eyes.

“Well then,” Vinyl said, grinning broadly, “we’ve got a ship full of pirates, an escape boat, and a cruise boat with our names on it. What next?”

==============

“First Mate Octavia, how far are we from the Sunset Cruise?” Vinyl asked gleefully. “I can’t wait to perform our first plunder as pirates!” The two mares were in the bridge of the pirate ship, heading towards the cruise ship they had been members of until that morning.

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘First Mate Octavia’?” Octavia asked, frowning. “I thought we agreed that I was to be the new pirate captain!”

“No way!” Vinyl exclaimed. “I’m the one wearing the captain’s hat!”

“Only because you stole it from me,” Octavia pointed out. She moved closer to Vinyl and wrapped her hooves around her. Vinyl felt a shiver go down her spine. “Thanks,” Octavia said, taking the cap from Vinyl and putting it onto her own head.

“Hey! No fair!” Vinyl protested, smiling in spite of her “anger”. “You used your damn classy…stuff… to get close to me and steal it!” She gave Octavia a playful little shove. Somehow, it was enough to make Octavia stumble backwards and fall over.

“Oh Viiiinyyyylllll,” she called in a sing-song voice, giggling as she did so, “won’t you come help me up?” She held out a hoof for Vinyl to grab. As soon as the unicorn did so, Octavia pulled her down to her level.

“You sneaky little-” Vinyl began, still smiling nevertheless. There was a moment of silence between the two ponies, before Vinyl started to lean in towards Octavia…

“Vinyl!”

“Huh?”

“Vinyl, are you listening to me?” Octavia asked.

“Sorry, Octavia. I was daydreaming,” Vinyl replied, grinning mischievously. In reality, the two mares were on back on their cruise ship.

“Oh? What about?” Octavia asked curiously.

“I was just thinking – wouldn’t it have been cool if we’d taken over the pirates after we ended up defeating the rest of them? Rather than reporting them to the Coast Guard?” Vinyl leaned back in her chair and stared at the sky wistfully.

“What, you have a secret urge to become a criminal?” Octavia asked.

“Nah, I was just thinking of all the booty we could have gotten,” Vinyl said, her grin increasing in size.

“Hmm, if you say so,” Octavia said. “Speaking of the pirates, I will say this though – it is certainly odd that Stumblefeather went missing by the time we had defeated and rounded up all of the pirates. I wonder whether we shall ever meet him again.”

“Eh, I’m not too fussed about him,” Vinyl replied. “Personally, I’m just happy that at the end of it all, we managed to escape being shipped with our hides intact.”

“Quite a valid point,” Octavia agreed. “I would certainly hate it if I were to be shipped again – although that being said, I could probably handle it were I to be shipped with you.”

“Yeah, I think that you’re onto something there, Octavia,” Vinyl said, smiling friendlily. “I should say, by the way – thanks for all the help with the pirates. I mean, we couldn’t have escaped without each other, but I think I should say it anyway – thank you, Octavia.” There was a pause as she thought her next few words carefully. “Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?”

Octavia smiled warmly at her friend. “The feeling is mutual, Vinyl.”

THE END

Author's Note

A few things to note:

No, this is not an attack on shipfics or shipping in general. As you can clearly see from some of my past fics and favourites, I have nothing against shipping.

I used the Romance tag for several reasons. Firstly, because part of the punchline of this fic is that you're supposed to think that it refers to shipping in the romantic sense, and without the tag, people might guess the twist before it happens. Secondly, there's certainly a romantic undertone to Vinyl and Octavia's relationship, and they do flirt quite a bit with each other (even if they're not aware of it themselves). Finally, they do technically kiss, so yeah.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this! I'm quite pleased with it, personally, although I do think that some bits are a tad clunky. I am considering writing a sequel to this, as I like this incarnation of Vinyl and Octavia and the wacky situations they find themselves in.