Rarity's Raving Rabbid Problem
"Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously. She really didn't wish to be the bearer of bad news, but she figured it was better to tell her now. Honesty was the best policy. Or so they always said.
"What is it Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked. Despite Sweetie Belle's obviously nervous tone she didn't suspect that something was up.
Sweetie Belle gulped and plucked up courage. "There's something wrong with the toilet." she said.
"What do you mean?" Rarity asked.
"It's clogged up again." Sweetie Belle said. She then braced herself for what she thought would be an inevitable explosion from Rarity.
To Sweetie Belle's surprise however Rarity remained calm. "Didn't I tell you to remember to courtesy flush?" she asked.
"I did Rarity. Honestly I did." Sweetie Belle said innocently.
Rarity sighed. Her toilet had never been the same ever since Sweetie Belle had fiddled with it, in the hopes of earning a toilet reparing cutie mark. She had been meaning to have it looked at but the thought kept slipping her mind. Well not anymore. "I'll be there in a minute Sweetie Belle." Rarity said "Just clean yourself up to the best of your ability and remember to wash your hooves." Rarity pulled out a quick little sticky note, wrote down Have toilet looked at, and stuck it on the refrigerator. Now there was no way she'd be able to forget.
She then made her way to the bathroom. To her relief Sweetie Belle had remembered to leave the fan on. That would certainly be a big help.
"Are you going to be okay Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I should be." Rarity said "Why don't you go play with your friends for a while?"
"Okay." Sweetie Belle said and promptly left the bathroom.
"Well that's one problem taken care of." Rarity thought to herself. Now came the part she dreaded the most. She knew it had to be done, she knew she was the only one who could do it, and she knew the more she waited the longer it would take. But yet she could only bring herself to slowly walk towards the toilet, trying not to think about what could possibly await her if she dared to look in. "Maybe it won't be that bad.:" she thought. After all the fan is on and there's plently of air freshener at your disposal. You can do this Rarity."
Nothing could've prepared her for the horrible smell that greeted her nostrils as she reluctantly reached her destination. The stench was far worse then she had imagined. She tried to plug her nose to block it out but to no avail. The smell overwhelmed her and made her eyes water.
Dear Celestia, it was worse then that time she had somehow contracted a bad case of the trots from Sweet Apple Acres cider. The less said about that experience the better.
This smell was at least ten times worse then that. How was it possible that a filly like Sweetie Belle could make such a big stink? It had to be the hay fries. Rarity remembered how they always seemed to go right through her. Sweetie Belle was probably the same way. She would seriously need to consider restricting them if they led to problems like this.
No amount of air freshener could make the situation any better. It still smelled like death. Rarity began to feel uneasy. It took every bit of will power to keep her stomach in check. She did not want to make a bad situation even worse. But she couldn't bring herself to pick up the plunger and tackle the problem. It just wasn't possible.
Sighing and admitting defeat Rarity trotted out of the bathroom as fast as she could. "Of all the worst things that could happen! This is, The, Worst, Possible, Thing!" she said to herself and plopped down onto her fainting couch withount a moment's hesitation.
How long Rarity lay there, blowing everything out of proportion, no one knows. Eventually Rarity decided that enough was enough. Just laying there, acting like a drama queen wouldn't fix the situation. She knew that the only way to solve the problem was with a plunger. But there was no way she was going anywhere near the bathroom. Just thinking about the smell made her gag. That meant there was only one option, she would have to hire someone else to do it.
She knew it wasn't very ladylike to make others do things just because you didn't want to do them. But it also wasn't very ladylike cleaning up something as unpleasant as the smell that would not be named. Reluctantly she retrieved some bits from her "Special Occassion" fund. Her trip to the spa would have to be postponed.
Remembering to look both ways Rarity crossed the street. It was fortunate that her destination was directly across from Carousel Boutique. That meant she would get results a lot sooner.
The Ponyville Fix It repair company may have only been recently opened, but it had gotten a lot of customers. It seemed like every day something was breaking down or needed to be looked at. All the same it came as a surprise when Rarity arrived. Calmly trotting across the tiled floor, looking at the fairly unintresting white walls.
But she was not here to criticize the building's design, or the fashion choices behind the company uniforms. She was here for one reason and one reason only.
"Welcome to Ponyville Fix It." a chesnut colored unicorn mare with a white mane and tail said "My name is Blank Check. How can we help you?"
Rarity sighed and took a deep breath "Yes my is Rarity, and I am in shall we say desperate need of a plumber. I would like to have one at my place asap. If it isn't too much to ask."
"I'm sorry Rarity." Blank Check said, using her light brown magic to bring forth a list "But as you can see all of our plumbers are currently busy with other clients."
"Oh." Rarity said, trying not to show signs of concern or worry.
"Would you like to fill out a request form?" Blank Check asked "Just write down your name, your location, and the appliance you would like to have looked at, and soon as a pony with the required talent is free we will send them to you."
Rarity very nearly signed one right then and there. But just as she was about to do so she suddenly had second thoughts. What if a plumber could not be spared for several hours? She certainly didn't want to have to wait that long. Especially since it was the only bathroom at Carousel Boutique for right now.
Even prior to this incident plans had been made to expand the Boutique, which included a new bathroom. And Rarity without a doubt could not wait until then. But even a few hours seemed to her like too long. Reluctantly she did not fill out. "Actually on second thought never mind." Rarity said "I'm pretty sure I can solve this problem on my own."
Blank Check didn't seem to mind. "Well if you're sure Miss. Rarity." she said "I wish you good luck."
"Thank you." Rarity said. She then returned to Carousel Boutique. Nothing had changed, the smell still lingered and perhaps had even worsened, and the toilet was still clogged.
The question now was what Rarity was going to do to solve it. Especially since she had already made it clear that there was no way in Tartarus she was going near the source of the "mess".
Suddenly an idea came to Rarity. She remembered that recently Fluttershy had come across an odd group of bunnies in a broken down yellow submarine. Since they apparently had no home Fluttershy had taken them and they had repayed her with small favors around the house.
Fluttershy herself was heard to say that there was nothing they wouldn't or couldn't do. Though for some reason they seemed to be obessed with plungers. They sounded like the kind of help Rarity needed. She felt a little bad about making them do something she didn't want to do, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
After a short trot to Fluttershy's cottage Rarity had asked her if it was okay to "borrow" one of her new friends to help her with a little problem she was having. Fluttershy was happy to obliege. "I'll send one over right away." she said.
"Thank you so much for that Fluttershy." Rarity said "And please inform them that whoever does the job will be paid."
"Oh Rarity I couldn't ask you to do that." Fluttershy said.
"They are doing a job just like a normal pony. And I intend to pay them as such." Rarity said "I will not accept any less then standard wage."
"Guess there's no convincing you huh?" Fluttershy asked.
"Certainly not." Rarity said "I'm not the Element of Generosity for nothing."
"I know." Fluttershy said.
"Glad you understand." Rarity said. She then returned to Carousel Boutique, waiting for one of Fluttershy's new "friends" to arrive.
For what seemed like hours even though it was only minutes Rarity paced nervously back and forth. "Perhaps I should just call in Thunderlane instead." she thought to herself "After all he seems like a nice guy."
Her thoughts were soon interrupted by a knock at the door. "That must be one of them." she thought to herself as she trotted over to the door and opened it. Sure enough the tall white bunny with rather unusual (in terms of bunnies) blue eyes stood before.
"Bah." he said.
"I take it you're here to help me with my problem correct?" Rarity asked him.
"Bah." the bunny replied.
"Good. Please do come in." Rarity said, instructing him to come inside. Which he did.
The bunny was rather amazed by what he saw. In contrast to his previous residence this place looked rather elegant. It reminded him of that one fancy location in the other world, where he and his buddies had found many beautiful works of art. (Which they had attempted to make off before being foiled by a certain being who would not be named.)
Rarity pointed a hoof towards the bathroom "That's where the problem is."
"Bah?" the bunny asked. He didn't quite see what the problem was.
"Allow me to explain." Rarity said "You see I'm afraid my toilet has, shall we say, backed up. And I would like you to repair it. If it isn't too much trouble of course."
"Bah." the bunny replied. It certainly didn't sound that bad, he'd have this problem solved in minutes.
"The plunger is right next to the toilet." Rarity said "Now I don't mean to sound skeptical, but are you sure you know what you're doing? I certainly don't want a bigger mess to clean up. And well I would certainly not want anything bad to happen to you."
"Bah." the bunny said. He was going to do it and nothing this pony said or did was going to stop him. Without a moment's hesitation he raced into the bathroom and grabbed the plunger. It was time for some hardcore plumbing. "Bah!" he shouted.
"Let me know when you are finished." Rarity said "Best of luck." She then closed the bathroom door with her magic. She was going to grant the bunny some privacy so he could work alone. (And so she wouldn't have to see what was going on.)
Once he reached the toilet and hopped up onto the seat the bunny got a clear view of the situation. He didn't like what he saw. But he wasn't going to let or the horrible odor stop him from completing the job. "Bah!" he shouted, dipping the plunger into the bowl.
The battle of the toilet bowl was perhaps the greatest undocumented battle in the history of the universe. One bunny stood alone against the toilet and its army of foul smelling pony manure. But the bunny was armed with the one thing that the toilet and the maure army feared, the great and powerful plunger. Against all odds the manure army was defeated, and forever banished to the sewers below. The toilet itself did not meet the same fate as its allies, but it promptly surrendered when all of its allies were gone. For it knew it was no match for the unstoppable combination that was the bunny and the great and powerful plunger. The great and powerful plunger as well as the bunny became heros to the entire bathroom. And from that day forward all toilets filled with manure would tremble in fear.
Rarity had begun to grow worried as she could only hear muffled splashing sounds, a few muffled "Bah's" from the bunny, and on occassion a muffled flush. She just hoped that the bunny was okay. She really should've tried to spray some air freshener in there.
Finally after what seemed like forever the bathroom door opened and the bunny steppped out. Still holding the plunger in his hands. It had been quite the daunting task but he had done it. The toilet was back to normal. At least for now.
"Oh thank goodness you're all right." Rarity said "I must admit I was worried about you. Thank you very much for your help. And as promised here is the money you have earned." She levitated a sack of bits over to the bunny. She had made sure to find out how much a repair pony was typically paid, that way she could be sure she wasn't underpaying the bunny.
The bunny looked at the sack of bits and at the pony that was giving it to him. He could've just taken the bits and walked away. He would return home a hero would live to tell his tale to his friends. Inspiring them for years to come. But that battle had been a living nightmare for him. Several times he had come close to falling in, only saving himself by clinging to the plunger. The smell had far worse then anything he had ever endured before and he was pretty certain his lunch had ended up in the bowl alongside the manure. Not to mention it had taken quite a long time and to him it felt like it took way longer then it should have. And to top it off he had been forced to work with the very object that the annoying someone had used in the other world to defeat him, and his buddies.
And to think he had thought it couldn't get any worse after their submarine had crashed in this mysterious new world, filled with creatures that would've eaten them in a hearbeat if it weren't a yellow pony with wings finding them first.
"What's the matter darling?" Rarity asked, She had no way of knowing that this unlucky bunny had not been in a very good mood lately. And that this was, to him, the latest in a string of insults. In his mind that last task was the straw that poked the camel's back so to speak. Enough was enough.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the bunny shouted, his eyes turning red. He went completly crazy and started hiting Rarity over and over with the plunger.
And all Rarity could say as she was assaulted was "I knew I should've gotten Thunderlane instead."
Author's Note
This was just an idea that sprang to my mind after a thread on the crossover group about Twilight and the Raving Rabbids. LikeaBaws said something about Twilight handing a rabbid a plunger to fix her toilet and I basically felt that situation called for Rarity. So I decided to write this fic.
I did say sanity was not included. And yes there is a bit of gross out humor but there's plently of other humor out there if that isn't to your liking.
LikeaBaws said he'd be writing his own version of the story idea. So keep an eye out for it, though I don't know for sure if he'll do it.
