Fallout Equestria: Little Boxes

Theme Music- Good 2 City Full by Inon Zur and Mark Morgan

Smooth Funk sat on his rocking chair outside of the Salt Lake bar and rocked it slowly back and forth. He was an old pony, but he had seen his fair share of action against the raiders that so enjoyed raiding this little community that he had decided to retire to, after an enjoyable long life spent singing at bars and casinos and breaking dozens of mares’ hearts across the Wasteland. He adjusted the sunglasses perched on his forehead and straightened out his pleated straw hat, and continued rocking the chair. He gazed out into a dark, barren Wasteland, verdant fields slaughtered by balefire and terrible magicks, but yet even in death they held a beauty of sorts. He moved in the chair and kept his vigil. The doors opened and a maid came out with a glass of whisky, which Funk gratefully accepted, the warm liqueur warming his old bones. He replaced the shot glass back on the tray and resumed his watch, noting somepony slowly walking towards the bar. As the stallion got closer, Funk saw that he also was an elderly pony, with a vivid rust-red coat. The stallion approached and sat next to Funk.

   “Greetings, friend! Welcome to New Canterborough, the last stop before Opal in Four Village Ridge. You can spend some time here at the Salt Lake bar, or you can sell or buy at Penny Pincher General Store over there!” The other old-timer smiled.

   “Thanks, partner. Name’s Monkey Wrench, and I’m travelling to Opal to trade some goods. I’ve been walking for a while, and you know what it’s like being old. Just have to rest for a while. I could also do with a shot o’ scotch, if this establishment here has some.”

   “Why sure we do! Waitress! Another round of whisky for me and a glass of scotch for my new friend here!” The young mare smiled affectionately.

   “Sure thing, Funk. Just don’t drink too much; you remember what happened last time, right?”

  “Sure I do. Don’t worry about it.”

   As the young mare pushed the bar’s door open and waltzed through, Smooth Funk turned to Monkey Wrench. Smooth Funk always enjoyed bombarding new folk that came to town with plenty of questions, and this old-soul wasn’t going to be an exception.

   “So, where’d you come from?” Monkey Wrench hesitated, unsure of what to say, before continuing.

   “New Appleloosa. Lived there for most of my childhood, but trouble reared its ugly head, so I moved to Manehattan, and started a job as a repairer and a mechanic, explaining my name. Lived there ever since.”

   “Manehattan? Wow! That’s a long way from there to here!”

   “Tell my hooves about it. They’re aching something fierce. Glad I got here before my legs gave way.”

   “Lucky, that is. Name’s Smooth Funk. I was a singer before I moved here to enjoy some peace and quiet. That is, until the raiders got here.” Monkey Wrench sighed wearily.

   “Raiders, eh? Fucking arsewipes, the lot of ‘em. A couple of parties used to swing by Manehattan every three or four years or so. Granted, they’d soon be gone, but in the meantime they’d cause as much shit as possible before they either died or left. So, tell me about these raiders of yours.”

   Smooth Funk appreciated the audience and was about to speak, but he was interrupted by the waitress bumping out of the bar entrance, holding a metal tray with a glass of whisky and a glass of scotch. She placed the tray in between the old souls and smiled again before entering the Salt Lake again. Smooth Funk glowered at the door before continuing.

   “As I was just about to say, there’s a bunch of raiders that call themselves Boss’s Boys that hang around the Old Canterborough ruins. They moved here and began sending in a couple of ponies a day. Each time, we’ve managed to repel them, but I fear that they’re only testing our strength. It’s a good thing we sent that mare to deal with them; just about the entire town’s hope lays on her shoulders. I hope she’s alright.”

   “She’ll be fine. A mare with a good soul can easily best a stallion with a black heart.” Monkey Wrench finished drinking the scotch the bar had so thoughtfully provided and stood up. He began walking out into the street, but then suddenly stopped. He turned around to face Smooth Funk.

   “It was nice meeting you, Mr. Smooth Funk. Real pleasure talking with you, and the alcohol as well was nice. Thanks.”

   “Don’t you worry about it. Goodbye, and take care now!”

   However, Monkey Wrench didn’t leave. Instead, he rummaged through a knapsack that he carried on his flanks and drew out an extremely odd-looking pistol. It had a very large calibre, about .30 cal, and it looked like it was built to hold some grenade of some sorts. It had a very large black cocking handle and was painted in a red paint, the colour flaking away to reveal burnished steel underneath. Monkey Wrench walked out a little bit more until the sky was directly underneath him, aimed the device at the stars, and fired a bright red shrieking star straightinto the air.

   Half a mile away, Lines saw the flare arch up into the sky, illuminating the area beneath it. There was no time to lose. She turned to her squad of raiders.

   “The signal’s been sent! Get the lead out of your asses and move!”

   Monkey Wrench calmly reloaded the old flare gun, slipping in a new iridescent round. Behind him, Smooth Funk was freaking out. He had never seen something like that, even with all his years of experience.

   “What did you just do?! What the hell was that thing?!” Monkey Wrench didn’t reply, cocking the safety off and performing what he assumed to be a safety check. Smooth Funk wouldn’t take his silence for an answer.

   “Answer me, dammit! What did you just shoot up into the air?! Was it a signal? Give me an answer!”

   Monkey Wrench fired the archaic signal device again, this time in Smooth Funk’s face.

   Boss watched the old stallion shriek as his face melted and his fur charred with a passing disinterest. He had other things to do, pulling out a submachine gun and spraying the bar entrance with bullets, punching a hole through the same waitress that was in the middle of taking in their used glasses. As the body of the shocked mare dropped like a puppet with cut strings, Boss dived over a fence and ran for the nearest building, kicking the door open and slaughtering the couple sleeping together inside, diving behind the kitchen counter. He reloaded, waiting for other ponies to come bursting in. Sure enough, five other ponies quickly entered the house, one of them sporting a vicious looking double-barrelled shotgun which he gripped in his teeth. Despite having a massive chunk of metal in between his teeth, the pony with the shotgun spoke clear as day.

  “The bastard’s in here somewhere. Spread out, find him and then kill him. We gotta get revenge for Funk and Glass!”

  “It looks like we’re also gonna have to get revenge for the lovebirds.” A pony indicated at the innocent couple that Boss had perforated with bullets. The lead pony closed his eyes in frustration.

  “Celestia dammit! Not the lovebirds. Now that raider fucker’s going to suffer. Alright, you know what we gotta do. So let’s do it, eh?” The other four ponies barked out affirmatives and yeses, and began searching through the house. Boss began to slowly move out of the kitchen using the counter as cover. Slow movement was the key here. If he was spotted the leading pony would perforate him with the shotgun. And that wouldn’t be good.

   "Come on! Surely you’re not such pussies that you can’t run a piddling half a mile? Vamoose!” Lines barked encouragement to the raiders running by her sides. In front of them, the doomed village of New Canterborough loomed, dots of light piercing through the night, betraying their presence.

   Boss pulled the knife out of the fourth pony that had come looking for him. The unicorn mare gurgled and retched blood all over his grey hoof, but he still kept it pressed tight against her mouth to prevent so much as a single squeak of noise escaping her mouth. As the victim grew still, Boss gently lowered her body to the floor. He had managed to silently kill all the other ponies, and now it was just him and the shotgunner left. He pulled out the SMG again. In front of him, the shotgunner stood. He seemed angry at his lack of contact, and muttered to himself darkly.

   “Fuck it! They should’ve found him ages ago! Where is he?! Did he leave? Yes, he must have left the building. So, the only question is: where do we look now?” The shotgunner suddenly inhaled sharply as the cool barrel of a gun pressed against his skull. Boss smirked confidently.

   “Try looking right behind you.”

   Lines’s squad charged up the main road, mowing down all that stood before them in a hail of laser blasts and bullets. Around the village, other squads were performing the same attacks on other parts of New Canterborough, effectively closing the village in a net. None of the settlers had a chance. The lucky ones died. The unlucky ones were taken alive. It was a scene of pure and utter chaos and evil, and it was beautiful to behold, thought Boss as he stepped out of the house he was just in. In front of him, Specs’s team was busy looting the Salt Lake, executing the patrons and bartenders and abducting those they desired. Specs was about to put a round through a whimpering stallion when he saw Boss walking in their direction. The lab-coated raider quickly trotted up to his leader.

“Lines and Morphine’s teams have finished and are pulling out as we speak. There’s only this place left.”

“So the town’s empty of Boys, then?”

“Yes, it would seem so.” Specs unconsciously fired his plasma defender at the stallion, reducing his head to a fizzing green goop. Boss ignored the sight and continued the conversation.

“Very good. That means there’s only one thing left to do. Get me a flamer, Specs. Pronto.” A chunky flamethrower was quickly handed over to him, and he levitated the monstrous weapon to his right. Boss pressed the pilot flame switch and pointed the nozzle at the house he had just left, smiling his jagged shark smile.

"Say hello to Mister Yellow."

Boss pressed the gas ejection trigger.

   “Morphine, status report.” Boss and his lieutenants walked through the charred remains of New Canterborough, the buildings smouldering after Boss unleashed the fury of his flamethrower on the wooden buildings of the town.

   “We managed to loot a fair bit in caps, weapons, slaves and ammo. Luckily,the Boys also made it through as well. Only two casualties, and a few injuries here and there.” Boss nodded in approval. He spoke to his friends.

“Our business here is done. We’ve exacted our revenge on New Canterborough, and we shall leave this place.”

   “Yes, of course, but where do we go now?”

  Boss pointed a hoof at the map he levitated in front of him. The faded scrawl underneath his hoof read out a name of an abandoned military site. A very, very well defended military site.

   “Thanks to our new found arsenal, we can now afford to make plans to head over there. The one place that no raider has successfully cracked open to date.” He swallowed some spit that had pooled in his gullet.

  “We’re heading to Area 15." Lines's eyes widened in shock.

  "Sweetie, that's insane. There's no way that we'd be able to breach the wall!"

  "Exactly. Which is why we're going to take a little detour."

Level Up!

Monkey Wrench: Surprise!:- Your disguise abilities are flawless, so much so that your first three attacks as Monkey Wrench are always Sneak Attack Criticals, even if standing directly in front of your opponent.

Fcuk sleep i hope this is spacing-GG