The Marvelous Adventures of Pinkie Pie: Crasherdude Awesome VS Mooncloud Shadowdancer

by Morty

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 9820

The world is turned upside down as two poorly designed ponies invade Ponyville.

February Write-Off Third Place Winner! It's just a normal day in Ponyville when Pinkie's Pinkie sense alerts her to an impending Mary Sue fanfiction. Things take a horrifying turn for the worst when Ponyville is invaded by not only not only one of the obnoxious characters but two! Now the very fabric of reality is in danger as the two OC ponies fight for dominance and only Pinkie can save the integrity of the fourth wall. We're doomed.

(Had to be shortened to from 10.3k to fit the contest parameters. If this becomes popular enough I might post the full version after the contest. Is actually only about 9.6k words on my computer so I'm not sure why it's so much higher here.)

Published 2012-03-06 03:52:15 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-20 17:52:59 UTC

Pinkie vs Crasherdude vs Mooncloud

YowieaaaaAAAaaa!

Pinkie valiantly thrust out of dreamland as her whole body shook violently. Her ears flopped up and down: left one, right one and left again. After one final twitch she jumped so high she hit the ceiling and crashed back down, missing her bed and landing on the floor.

“Owie” she said as she stood up, shaking her head. Let’s see she thought. Twitch, ear flops, and jump… “Ugggh” she groaned.

This was just another one of her Pinkieisms— those strange, almost supernatural events where Pinkie’s body alerted her to some impending event. Usually it came in handy and helped her avoid trouble, but this sign heralded a problem that could not be avoided, only tolerated. Twitch, earflops and jump—the sign that some crazy OC pony was coming in to invade the already limited normalcy of their lives. She squinted past the fourth wall, and sure enough some idiot was typing away on their keyboard, bringing some “unique” pony into the world. From the height of her jump, this one would be a doozy.

Mooncloud Shadowdancer trotted slowly but surely towards the simple country town of Ponyville. She felt bad leaving her responsibilities behind but…a tear formed in her eye. Everything was so hard for her!
She had just gotten into an argument with her publicist and couldn’t take it anymore! He had wanted her to attend some charity auction right after her big concert! It’s not like she ever asked to be a famous rock star and poetry writer…it just happened. The tear drop that had been dancing in the corner of her eye fell silently to the ground. She didn’t ask to be so talented. She wanted nothing more than to live a normal life, but she had a better chance of her wings and horn just falling off her picturesque body.

Before long, her tears pooled into a small puddle on the ground and she gazed into it. Her neon lavender eyes shimmered in stark contrast to her dark purple coat. The doctors said that eyes like hers were only found in one in every hundred thousand ponies, but she didn’t see this as a blessing. It was just another burden that kept her from being like everypony else. Then there was the matter of her horn which, unlike most unicorns and alicorns, was a different color than her coat—it was a pristine and glittering ivory. Her mane and tail were long whisps of silver, always glowing and changing shape, unless she wanted it to be a certain way. If she concentrated, she could form her mane and tail into any style; she usually kept it long and spiky, falling gracefully over one of her eyes.

Although she already had so many problems, nothing bothered her more than her wings. Both of them were much longer than usual, thus making her a powerful flier. The really strange thing was that one wing was white and full with brilliant silver tipped feathers, but the other was black as the night and bat-like, similar to Luna’s guards. She was so ashamed…

“Oh come on!” shouted Pinkie as she looked up at Mooncloud’s intro. “What!? I’ve seen super dramatic mega special awesome ponies before but this has got to be most super dramatic and mega special awesome of them all! I mean sheash what’s she gonna do next? Turn water into cider? Do a sonic shadowboom? Cure hoof in mouth disease? Celestia, I just hope I'm not the one who turns gay for her, it’s always somepony with these types.”

Pinkie Pie shrugged in sad acceptance. What could she do? Hopefully this would be a short fic and everyone would forget all about it soon.

Suddenly Pinkie’s whole body shook, her ears flopped (left, right and left) and she burst up to the ceiling, crashing into it and falling back down in a heap.
“Hey what gives, body?” she demanded. “I already know she’s coming!” Pinkie looked up again and her jaw dropped at what she saw.

“Oh shit!” shouted an avridge pony as the nucular power plant he was in esploded.

“What the hay is going on here!? Pinkie exclaimed.

The esplosion shook the hole world cause it was so friken big. But after it was over, the avrage pony was still alive!

“How am I still alive” he said.

He looked in a mirror and was surprised!!! His color was now green and his mane was now white and his eyes was now red.
“OH MY GOD” he said.

He wundered if maybe he had super powers now. So he tried to fly and it worked!!!

“OH MY GOD YES THIS IS SO SWEET” he said.

He flew full speed into a mountain and broke right through the mountain with super strength. The mountain shot rocks everywhere. It was totally wicked.

“YES THIS IS FUCKIN COOL!” he shouted. But he needed a new name. “I’ll be Crasherdude Awesome from now on and I’m a super hero from now on! AWESOME” he said.

Pinkie’s jaw had fallen all the way to the floor by the time she finished reading. She had seen a lot of bad writers in her time, but this had to be one of the worst segments she had ever seen. As terrible as the writing was, Pinkie had much larger concerns. She now understood her second outburst and the cheerful pink drained from her face. Two ridiculous OC characters had been released on her world at the same time. Normally, they became the center of attention for a time and then faded away. Two of these types at once was bad—very bad. There was no way one story was big enough to contain both of these OCs. They couldn’t both be the center of attention, and Pinkie shuddered to think of what might happen if one of these ponies didn’t get the attention they craved.

“If these two forces were to collide…” Pinkie gasped. “The fourth wall itself is in jeopardy! I have to warn the others!”

Pinkie ran to the door and hesitated. What could she even say to make her friends understand? Everypony changed whenever these abominations came to town, and ponies are almost never in character around jokes like Crasherdude Awesome. It’s not like she could even explain things like fanfics and OCs to her friends either, they would just think she was crazy.

“M-maybe things will be alright” stuttered Pinkie. “Maybe they won’t be in Ponyville at the same time. Maybe nothing would go wrong. Plenty of great stories had multiple OCs.”

The usually care-free mare knew she was kidding herself. Characters like these were never meant to meet. On the one hand you had a twelve year-old’s fantasy, and on the other you had some emo otaku princess. Pinkie looked down and noticed her legs were shaking. What does that mean? she wondered. Then it struck her; this was no Pinkieism. For the first time in a long time, she was just flat out scared, terrified even. There was no telling what would happen if these two were to meet. She turned to Gummi, who was sleeping in his little bed. She shook him awake and spoke to him.

“Gummi, whatever you hear, whatever you see, do not leave the basement.”

The brave mare looked anxiously through the window of Sugarcube Corner as the sun began to creep up over the horizon. For now, all she could do was watch from behind the curtain as the players took to the stage. She didn’t care whether the performance was good or not; she would be happy if they all made it through alive, blissfully unaware of the audience.

Crasherdude Awesome was just cruising along through the sky. And was thinking about how wicked sweet it was to fly, when he saw a little town on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest.

“This looks like a nice place to chill” he said, and he descended into town.

As Crasherdude made his landing, he caught the attention of a certain cyan mare with a rainbow mane.

“Hey you!” she called out from atop a lazily floating cloud. She zoomed down to Crasherdude and eyed him suspiciously. She circled him curiously, finally sitting down in front of him with a puzzled look on her face.

“Oh sorry, that probably seemed really weird didn’t it?” she said with a hoof behind her head. “It’s just that…I could have sworn I saw you fly in to town, but I guess my eyes were playing tricks on me.”

“Hey dude I totally did flew into here!!!!!!!!” said Crasherdude Awesome.

“Um…you seem kind of, I dunno, lacking…if you know what I mean” she said as she flapped her wings in front of the earth pony.

“I don’t NEED wings! I’m CRASHERDUDE AWESOME! Check this out!” Crasherdude flew straight up into the sky at like 1000 miles per hour and did a bunch of flips. It was totally brodascious. He then crashed down to earth in front of Dash, leafing a big smoky crater.

Rainbow dash was awestruck. She had never seen such amazing flying in all her life. What’s more, it was all done by an earth pony! She stared at him eyes wide and mouth agape.

“How…what did you…How the…” stammered Dash.

“I was in a the nucular explosion!!! and it gaved me superpowers!!!”

Wait what? wondered Dash. What was a “nucular” explosion? And why did this pony talk like a brain dead filly? She started to back away apprehensively, but then a strange sensation overtook her whole body.

“What’s happening!?” she cried, but it was too late. The fabric of reality around the unnatural OC pony began to twist and distort. A pony like him did not belong in this world, not even in a fanfiction setting. His bizarre characteristics distorted everything around him. With a sickening crack, the laws of cannon melted from reality and a big stupid smile overtook Dash’s face.

“Oh my GoD!” she said Your so Awesome!! How you is so AWESOME.

“FUCKING SWEET!” said Crasherdude. “I have a FAN. This is so wicked bro!”

“Totally bro!” said Rainbow Dash. “Hey you want to meet my friends Crasherdude Awesome.”

“That would be so rad and sweet” said Crasherdude, and they set off for sweet apple acres.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Rarity was out collecting some gems. She had just uncovered the most magnificent ruby when she noticed a tall dark pony treading gracefully towards town. There was something ominous about her, like a cold wind on a dark night—the kind of brisk chill one feels as they gaze at a moonless sky and contemplate what it really means to be alive.

“My word!” exclaimed Rarity as she got a better look at the approaching pony. “You’re an Alicorn.”

Mooncloud looked down, her eyes glistening as she held back a tear.

“I……(dramatic pause)…… hope you don’t think me too strange. I… just want to be a normal pony like you. I’m sorry.”

Rarity wondered whatever for; they had barely interacted at all. Rarity also wondered why this spectacular stranger looked so sullen. She had to find out more, but she wasn’t sure how to interact with the alicorn. What if she was royalty? What if there was some custom or etiquette she didn’t know about! It was the beginning of her Canterlot trip all over again.

“Why, hello there” she said, bowing slightly just in case. "My name name is Rarity, and you are...?"

Suddenly tears began to flow from the alicorn’s heavenly eyes and she began to sing:

Here I am
Once again
I’m torn into pieces
broken up, deep inside
and you won’t get to see the tears I cried
behind these neon lavender eyes…

The incredibly original lyrics and melody were absolutely enchanting to the young fashionista. She was sure this was the first time she had heard anything like it, but at the same time it felt strangely familiar. All of a sudden Rarity’s head was wracked with pain. She swayed back and forth, her mind in a confused blur. It was as if some outside force was trying to invade her consciousness.

“Must…fight it” she mumbled. When had she said that before? That’s it! This was just like the time she was fighting off Discord’s evil influence. “What…are you?” was all she managed to say before the answer became painfully clear.

“Oh how could I have ever forgotten? You’re Mooncloud Shadowdancer, the world famous rock star!” exclaimed Rarity with glee. “Oh miss Shadowdancer! I have all your albums! (Opal shrieked in terror as several albums burst into existence on Rarity’s night table). Whatever are you doing here of all places, and why are you alone?”

“I’m…always alone” Mooncloud said softly, a single tear falling down her face.

“What was that?” asked Rarity.

“Nothing” replied Mooncloud, adorning her most convincing fake smile. “It’s…my burden to bear” she said quietly, a single tear falling down her face.

Rarity somehow knew something was wrong. “Mooncloud?” she asked, cautiously addressing the beautiful alicorn less formally. “Is there something I could help you with?”

“I…don’t know” said Mooncloud mysteriously. “I…just want to be treated like everypony else for a change. I came here… to meet real ponies, ponies who didn’t just love me because I’m a world famous rock star and poet.” A single tear fell dramatically down Mooncloud’s face.

Rarity suddenly found that she was lost in Mooncloud’s stunning eyes. She felt herself blush a little. “I… promise you Mooncloud; I swear right here and now that from this moment forward, I will see past the glamour and love you for who you are!”

“Love?” asked a surprised Mooncloud, a single tear falling down her face.

Rarity blushed again. “Oh did I say love? I mean like, of course I meant like!” Did she though? Rarity had never felt this way about a mare before, but Mooncloud was unlike anypony she had ever met. She felt her heart pound in her chest as she gazed upon Mooncloud’s dark silky form. “Anyway, how would you like to join me in my boutique? We could ‘hang out’ as it were, like normal ponies.”

Mooncloud smiled; this pony before her was so kawaii. A single tear fell down Mooncloud’s face. “That would be sublime! Only…”

“Only what?” asked Rarity.

“Only this” said Mooncloud as she unfurled her two different wings. “Nopony could want to hang out with a freak like me.”

Rarity gasped, and Mooncloud shed a single tear, backing away sadly. Once Rarity realized that the alicorn misinterpreted her awe, she was quick to clarify.

“Mooncloud darling, how could you ever be ashamed of such spectacular wings!” insisted Rarity. “They are amazing! Incredible! Why, I do believe I’ve been inspired! I shall create a whole line of fashion based on your stupendous wings; I shall call it: destiny!”

A single tear of happiness fell down Mooncloud’s face. She couldn’t believe that this pony accepted her! Maybe coming to Ponyville was just what she needed after all. “Thank you Rarity, and I would love to see your boutique.”

“Excellent!” said Rarity. “But first do you mind if we make a quick stop first? We are very close to a friend of mine, and she is a big fan off your poetry.”

“As long as she doesn’t ask me to read any of it, I get so nervous!” stated Mooncloud. “I don’t know why anypony likes my poetry, it’s not very good.”

“Nonsense!” exclaimed Rarity. “Everything you do is fantastic! Now come on, I know my friend is dying to meet you” With that the two set off for Fluttershy’s cabin, side by side as if they had been friends for a long time.

“Twilight, TWILIGHT” yelled Pinkie as she stood up and banged on the door to the library with both fore hooves. “Twilight open up right now this is an emergency!”

“Pinkie” hissed Twilight as she opened the door, putting a hoof to her mouth in the universal shhhh gesture. “Spike is still sleeping. What do you want?”

“Twilight this is an emergency! We have a crisis on our hands!”

“Pinkie if you’re just here to get Spike’s triple decker nut crazy vanilla crème cookie recipe again I swear to Celestia I’m going to-“

“OC!” shouted Pinkie Pie.

“Oh see?” asked Twilight.

“No not ‘oh’ (she said as if just now realizing something) ‘see’ (she said stretching her eyeballs out of her head). “O…C” she said, making the letters with her body as she said them.

“…Right” said Twilight. “Pinkie as much as I love word games I really don’t have time for your crazy antics this morning.”

“This is no game Twilight” Pinkie beseeched. “Everypony is in real danger!”

Twilight was just about to ask Pinkie to leave when she remembered the parasprite fiasco. If she didn’t take her friendship lessons seriously, then what kind of student was she? “Already Pinkie, I’m listening. What is this OC?”

“Not this OC. These OCs! That’s the problem. There’s two! And not like minor support OCs either. These are the OCingest ponies I’ve ever seen! And they are heading this way, at the same time!” shouted Pinkie.

“Pinkie, slow down. What the hay is an OC?” asked Twilight.

“Well…”Pinkie began. “You know how it’s one of life’s great mysteries how the universe began?”

“Yes of course. Scholars have been coming up with theories on it since the dawn of ponykind. Now I myself have several possible theories on the matter…”

“Twilight” interrupted Pinkie. “I know.”

“Oh have I told you these before?” asked Twilight. “Funny, I don’t remember sharing these with anypony.”

“No Twilight. I mean I know how the universe was created” said Pinkie solemnly.

At first Twilight was surprised, but then she just stared at Pinkie with half lidded eyes. “You’re joking right?” she asked.

“I wish this was just a joke Twilight, even if it would be one of the lamest jokes I’ve ever heard. No, this is as real as it gets sister.”

Twilight decided to humor Pinkie. It was obvious that this was just Pinkie being Pinkie at this point and there was no real crises, but her friend seemed to be taking this seriously and Twilight wanted to be supportive of Pinkie taking anything seriously. “All right Pinkie, how was the universe created, and what does any of this have to do with your OCs?”

“I’m getting to that” said Pinkie. “But first, you have to promise never to tell anypony what I’m about to tell you. With all the weirdness that’s going on right now, I’m not sure if you’ll just forget like you normally do.”

“Uh… sure Pinkie” said a perplexed Twilight. “I won’t tell anypony.”

“Pinkie promise?” asked Pinkie.

Twilight sighed. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." (She tenderly touched her eye, having learned from past mistakes.)

“Ok, good” said Pinkie, who breathed deeply before continuing. “First of all, there’s this wall called the ‘fourth wall’, and lot’s of weird alien thingies can see in, but I'm the only pony who can see out. One day, this really smart alien thought up our world, and after spending a bunch of bits and talking to these people called Has-bros, our world came to be.”

“Sure…makes sense” lied Twilight.

“Okay, glad you’re following so far. This is some pretty heavy stuff I’m laying down. Anyways, there are certain aliens that work for the Has-bros that make up adventures for us to have, and then all the other aliens watch us have the adventures. Basically, all the really interesting days we have are watched by thousands of aliens” Pinkie said plainly.

“Uh huh” said Twilight.

“Ok, here’s the important bit. Sometimes, an alien who doesn’t work for the Has-bros will write an adventure for us; those are called ‘fanfics’” said Pinkie. “Now the Has-bros have a special cannon, kinda like my party cannon, except this cannon fires reality! The reality cannon shoots through the fourth wall and makes the story happen in our world. When a story comes into our world that isn’t from the cannon, we all just go through it and then forget it ever happened right after. Everything resets, and it was like it all never happened!”

“Uh huh” said Twilight, who was starting to think that Pinkie’s craziness was starting to go from cute Pinkieness to just plain screwy.

“So here’s where the OCs come in. Sometimes, when a less talented alien makes a fanfic, they add their own ponies to the world. Sometimes these ponies are actually pretty cool, but sometimes they are crazy and unrealistic and completely go against the Has-bros cannon! These are called Mary Sues or Marty Stus.”

“Ok Pinkie, le’ts assume that this really does happen all the time” said Twilight. “If it happens all the time, then why is this such a crisis? Won’t we all just forget it ever happened?”

“Usually it’s not a problem, it’s just annoying” stated Pinkie. “But this time a Mary Sue AND a Marty Stu got leaked into our world at the same time!”

“So?” asked Twilight. “How is that so bad?”

“HOW IS IT BAD!? Lemme tell ya how it’s bad it is sister! The fourth wall itself could be in jeopardy!”

“And the wall breaking would be bad I assume?” asked Twilight.

Suddenly Pinkie Pie looked very serious, more so than Twilight had ever seen her. There was something dark and worldly in the pink mare’s eyes that scared Twilight. She looked so much older, so much sadder than Twilight had ever seen her friend.

“Twilight” she began. “There are things on the other side of that wall that us ponies were never meant to see. Let me ask you something. You know how much I loved cupcakes? When was the last time you’ve seen me eat one?”

Twilight thought about it. She did remember that Pinkie loved cupcakes, but she honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her friend eat one.

“There are things on the other side of that wall Twilight. Things that change a pony. We cannot let it break, do you understand me?” asked Pinkie sullenly.

“Well…I”

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?” Pinkie shouted, shaking Twilight back and forth.

Twilight had officially gone from be slightly creeped out to being full on concerned for Pinkie. Twilight and her friends always joked about how Pinkie was crazy, but that joke didn’t seem as funny to her now.

“Pinkie, I understand that you’re concerned” said Twilight.

“You do?” asked Pinkie hopefully

“Yes I do, but I don’t think I’m the one to help you. Come on, let’s go down to see Nurse Redheart. I’m sure she can refer us to someone at the hospital more suited to helping you than I am.

“Hospital? How can anypony at the hospital help with-“ Pinkie Then realized what Twilight meant. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you Twilight?”

“Pinkie” began Twilight, her voice thick with concern. “It’s not that we- I think you’re crazy, but sometimes you can be a little over the top; not that that’s a bad thing, not at all. It’s just that…well this time you seem to have taken things a little too far. I know this OC stuff worries you, and those worries are real to you, but you have to understand that this is all just in your imagination. These made up thoughts of yours can’t have any effect on the real world. Now come on Pinkie, I can help take you to the nurse.

Pinkie sighed hopelessly, but then her ears perked as her brain hatched an idea. “My made up thoughts can’t have any effect on the real world huh?” she said with a smile. “Twilight, just give me one chance to prove that I’m telling the truth, and if you still think I’m crazy, I’ll go without a fuss.”

Twilight nodded sympathetically, sure Pinkie would fail. “Ok Pinkie, I’ll give you one chance.”

“Right” Pinkie said confidently. “Twilight, can you use that memory spell from when we fought Discord on yourself?”

“Well, yes, technically that would be possible, why?” asked Twilight skeptically.

“Well, use it on yourself, and try to think back to who messed up bringing in the southern birds.”

“Okay” Twilight lied. “Here I go…aha!” she yelled. “It was Derpy! Now can we go?”

“I didn’t see any horns glow miss magicky pants. I’m not budging until you actually do what I say.”

Twilight groaned. “Fine” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”

Twilight cast the spell and was brought back to the exact moment Pinkie suggested. She saw AppleJack accuse Caramel of losing the grass seeds, and heard Big Mac ‘eeyup’ in response. Then she saw the purple pegasus swoop in clear as crystal.

“Ditzy Doo accidently went North to get the Southern birds!” cried Puffbow Plume. Then Twilight snapped out of the spell.

“Huh?” she said in confusion. “I could have sworn Derpy messed that up…who the hay is Ditzy Doo?”

“Who indeed” said Pinkie with a knowing smile. “Who indeed.”

“Alright Pinkie, what does this prove? Is Ditzy Doo one of your OCs?” asked Twilight sarcastically.

“Nope” replied Pinkie. “But doesn’t it seem odd? I seem to remember DERPY messing that up. Don’t you?”

Now Twilight was starting to get creeped out again. How could Pinkie had known that was how Twilight remembered it, and who was Ditzy Doo? Then she just laughed to herself. This craziness is getting contagious she thought. I probably just remember it that way because Derpy messes up so often. It’s not surprising that Pinkie would think the same way.

“Pinkie, all this proves is that Derpy gets blamed for stuff a lot, which isn’t surprising considering how much of it is her fault!” Twilight said bitterly. She never could quite let go of the time when Derpy dropped a piano on her.

“Then who’s Ditzy Doo Twilight? I know everypony in ponyville, and no one is named Ditzy Doo…at least not anymore…” Pinkie said mysteriously.

“She’s probably just an indoors type, like me” Twilight responded simply. “Just because you don’t know a pony, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Here, I’ll show you.”

Twilight got out a book containing the addresses for every pony in Ponyville. She flipped it open with her magic. “Now let’s see here…D, D, D…that’s odd” said Twilight in surprise. “There’s nopony named Ditzy Doo in Ponyville.” Twilight checked the publication date on the book. It had been printed shortly before the last wrap up, and there was no way anypony had been missed. Twilight herself had painstakingly triple checked to ensure the book’s accuracy.

This was getting weird. Winter wrap up is a sacred tradition in Ponyville. Just as there is no magic allowed, there is another taboo which states that no outsider can help wrap up winter. There’s just no way the pegusi would accept help from someone who wasn’t a citizen of Ponyville. Rainbow dash even said that this Ditzy Doo had messed up the year before as well.

“Okay Pinkie” Twilight said nervously. “What’s going on? Who is Ditzy Doo?”

“It’s simple Twilight” stated Pinkie. “The reason you remember that Derpy messed up during Winter Wrapup is because, well, she did. She went North to get the southern birds.

“But what about Ditzy Doo?” asked Twilight.

“Ditzy messed that up too” said Pinkie. “Twilight, you may want to sit down for this.” Twilight sat down. The scholarly mare couldn’t believe she was going along with this madness, but even if Pinkie was wrong, there was still a real mystery at hand. It couldn’t hurt to hear what Pinkie had to say. Pinkie continued.

“Twilight, you say my imaginary stories can’t effect the real world, but that’s exactly what happened. The bronies are a group of aliens that take a particular interest in our world, and ever since they first saw her, they have loved Derpy.

“Why?” asked Twilight, still aghast that she was giving any merit to this nonsense. She felt like she needed a shower.

“They thought she was funny and cute and stuff because of her…condition. But for a long time they didn’t know her name, so instead they just called her ‘Derpy’ because of her derped up eyes” said Pinkie as she demonstrated her version of derped eyes. “Eventually, the Has-bros showed that her name was really Ditzy Doo, but the bronies liked their name better. They went super crazy writing all these fanfics about her too, until one day, to show that the Has-bros appreciated how much the bronies loved us, the Has-bros loaded the name Derpy into their cannon and fired away. That’s when everypony forgot she was ever named Ditzy Doo. Everypony but me that is.”

Has-bros? Bronies? Reality cannons? It was ridiculous and yet, as crazy as her story was, it did seem to explain the mystery of Ditzy Doo…

“Bah, this is carazy!” shouted Twilight, her super rational mind on the verge of blowing. “After how long it took me to accept that maybe there was something to your nutty Pinkieisms, do you really expect me to believe any of THIS!? How is that only you remembered her name was really Ditzy Doo? How do you know any of this is true?”

“Because” said Pinkie. “The original alien made me…special” she said as a single tear fell down her face. Pinkie wiped off the tear and started at it, her expression slowly turning into one of horror. “Oh no! The OC’s must already be in Ponyville!”

“What? How can you tel-“

“Quick Twilight, put this on if you want to live!” Pinkie shouted as she passed Twilight a rainbow umbrella hat. Pinkie quickly fastened her own hat, remembering that in times like this you must secure yourself first.

“Pinkie, I am not-”

Pinkies eyes grew huge and misty in the most epic sad face she had ever done in her life. Her eyes pleaded with Twilight.

“Oh…fine!” Twilight said as she put it on. “But this doesn’t mean I believe you!”

“Then I’ll prove it to you!” said Pinkie as she rushed out of the treehouse and out into the streets on Ponyville.

“Pinky, wait!” cried Twilight as she rushed after her, hoping that she could put an end to this craziness soon. Little did she know that this was only the beginning.

It wasn’t long after they left the house that came across a large group of ponies, all huddled around something which the crowd had hidden from view.

“Aha! Found you!” yelled Pinkie as she powered through the crowd.

“Pinkie, stop!” called Twilight, not wanting her friend to make a fool of herself in front of all these ponies. She too muscled through the crowd, and was shocked as she gazed up at what everypony was so focused on. In the middle of the gathering was a tall, beautiful Alicorn with two different wings and impossibly bright eyes.

“A ridiculous character…” Twilight muttered under her breath.

And forever I stand, trapped in bark of stone
My only company are the cold claws
the ravens as they feast on my eternal flesh
in this endless prison, I awake
to the knife at my throat, the noose around my neck
The torment of it all is too much to bear
Live or die, do or try
Either way I’m just as gone
Blackness

As the Alicorn finished her poem, the ponies around her stomped their hooves in quiet approval.

Wow, that was depressing, thought Twilight. Since when were the ponies in Ponyville interested in stuff like this? What’s more, what the hay is that weird alicorn doing here?

“Wow Miss Shadowdancer, you’re a genius! Your words really capture the pain of my soul.”
Twilight looked around and was shocked to see that those somber words came from the mouth of none other than the gentle Fluttershy, who for some reason had died some of her beautiful pink mane jet black.

“Fluttershy? Is that really yo-“ Twilight was cut short as pinkie cover the bookworm’s mouth with a pink hoof.

“Shhh” Pinkie warned. “Just go along with it for now. Trust me, you don’t want to challenge anything you see in front of-“ Pinkie jerked her head in the direction of the alicorn.

“Oh…hey Twilight, hey Pinkie. Did you come to hear Miss Shadowdancer too?” asked Fluttershy when she noticed the arrival of Pinkie and Twilight.

“Fluttershy, please I told you to call me by my first name” insisted Mooncloud. “When you call me Miss Shadowdancer I feel so…distant.”

“I…I’m sorry Miss…I mean Mooncloud. It’s just that, well, you understood me when nopony else did. I never would have survived my depression without your poetry. Knowing that somepony else felt the same way made life so much easier” said Fluttershy as she pushed some black hair over her eye.

“Survived!? Depression!?” said a suddenly very concerned Twilight. “Fluttershy, how come you never said anything? I’m your friend, I could have helped you!”

“I tried Twilight, I tried telling all of you, but nopony seemed to care” said Fluttershy sadly.

“What? When have you ever tried to-“ Suddenly Twilight could have sworn she felt rain falling on her umbrella hat. Perplexed, she looked up at the sky; there wasn’t a cloud to be found. She started to take it off to examine it when Pinkie slapped a hoof on her head. Twilight looked over at Pinkie, and the pink mare just shook her head subtly.

“Pinkie I’ve had it with your games!” said Twilight, now in a slight panic over learning of Fluttershy’s deep psychological issues. With that she took off the hat, and again turned to Fluttershy.

“Now Fluttershy what’s all this about-“ Twilight started saying but was soon interrupted by a throbbing pain in her head. Memories of Fluttershy’s long bout with depression assaulted her mind, and she remembered that she never really cared much about the issue.

Huh? Why didn’t I care about this? Fluttershy is my friend…even if she does whine all the time, thought Twilight. Wait, she didn’t whine all the time, did she? Why yes now that I think about it…

“Twilight” shouted Pinkie Pie. “Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”

Pinkie took her own hat off and slammed it on Twilight’s head. As Twilight wobbled back and forth in confusion, Pinkie snatched up the hat that Twilight had taken off and quickly flipped it on her head.

“Twilight are you ok?” asked Pinkie. “Don’t take the hat off again” she whispered sternly and turned to smile innocently at Fluttershy and Mooncloud.

What the hay just happened? wondered Twilight. All those memories…were they real? It was like she was living a dream, and how could she ever have thought less of Fluttershy for voicing her pain? No, there was no way that was real. Twilight would never turn her back on her friends. Then what was it? What was going on?

“Who…” started Twilight, stuttering as she recovered from the mental trauma. “Who are you?” she asked the strange alicorn.

“Who is she? Who is she? Why Twilight, she’s the type of pony every pony should know! cried Rarity as she burst into the clearing, wearing the sauciest dress Twilight had ever seen on the classy pony.

“Rarity!” yelped Twilight, flushing with embarrassment. “That dress…”

“Oh, do you like it?” asked Rarity.

“Well…it’s uh…”

“Shush Twilight I wasn’t talking to you. Don’t mind her Mooncloud, tell me, what do you think?”

“I think you look beautiful, my love” replied Mooncloud.

“WHAT?” shouted Twilight.

“I FREAKIN KNEW IT!” yelled Pinkie Pie.

“Oh thank, thank you so much” cooed Rarity as she snuggled under one of the Alicorn wings.

“Rarity, what in Equestria are you doing? asked Twilight, who at this point was totally freaking out.

“Oh don’t be so jealous Twilight. I know you had a crush on her too, but really you could just be happy for me!” insisted Rarity.

“Me? Crush? Who did I have a crush on? asked a totally oblivious Twilight.

“Why, on Mooncloud Shadowdancer of course. The famous rock star and poet? Ring any bells?” asked Rarity sarcastically.

Twilight felt rain on her hat again, and suddenly she was graced with a spark of understanding. This hat didn’t block rain, it blocked whatever was making everypony act so weird! And there was only one explanation Twilight could think of.

“You!” she cried accusing at Mooncloud. “What have you done to my friends!” Twilight’s horn glowed menacingly, and Mooncloud narrowed her eyes, looking suspiciously at the small purple mare.

That’s when Pinkie Pie rushed in between the two. “Hey Mooncloud Shadowdancer! Boy that’s a pretty name huh? Wow you’re so totally talented, I've never seen a pony as super special as you. I mean like WOW you are the best of the best of the best of the best times a kajillion!”

Twilight stared at Pinkie in horror, wondering if she too had been affected.

“Oh, I’m so embarrassed, I don’t deserve all this praise!” said Moondancer dramatically. “Ever since I was a little filly I’ve hated praise. All I’ve ever wanted…”

As Mooncloud went on with her stock Mary Sue monologue, Pinkie winked at Twilight and the two snuck away out of the crowd and Pinkie hurried twilight behind a house.

“Pinkie what are you doing? We have to go and stop her! I just know she’s behind all this weird stuff!” cried Twilight.

“Yeah, and what are you going to do Twilight?” asked Pinkie. “Did you even see that pony? She’s an alicorn who’s perfect at everything. Fighting her would be like fighting Celestia, probably even harder. You can’t win.”

“Alright then, we’ll just have to use the elements,” suggested Twilight.

“Really? And how to you plan on getting Fluttershy to turn against her savior? Or Rarity against her marefriend!” Twilight blinked in surprise. “What? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice it. We’ve all turned gay for somepony at some point or another; somepony always falls for super mares like Mooncloud.

Twilight blushed a deep red. “Uhh.. Pinkie… I know now may not be the best time but have I ever…?”

“Yes, to anything, and yes, with everypony. It’s called rule 34, but now’s not the time for that! We have to focus here Twilight!” snapped Pinkie.

Twilight stared at Pinkie, eyes wide and mouth agape. Pinkie had just told her, Twilight, to focus. She was willing to believe anything now.

“There has to be something we can do!” insisted Twilight. “What if I used my memory spell on Rarity and Fluttershy? Then you could get more of those hats and we could beat her!”

“Two things” began Pinkie. “One, you almost passed out from having just a few seconds of conflicting memory. What do you think would happen if you tried that with a pony who was as deeply entranced as Rarity or Fluttershy?”

Twilight just stared at Pinkie. She had no idea. Pinkie sighed in exasperation.

“They could die Twilight!” Pinkie shouted, and the purple mare recoiled in fear. “The other problem would be that even if we did somehow assemble the elements, Mary Sues can never be allowed to know that we’ve caught on to them. Their power is virtually unlimited.”

“What are you saying?” asked Twilight, who was just now beginning to grasp the severity of the situation.

“I’m saying that if we went against somepony like Mooncloud, even if we had the elements, her reality messer upper powers could go critical! Equestria would beg for things to be as normal as they were when Discord was in charge.”
Twilight gulped. “What would happen?” she asked.

“I can’t say for certain” said Pinkie solemnly. “But I can tell ya one thing; there won’t be chocolate milk rain.”

“Alright then Pinkie” began Twilight. “What do you think we should do?”

“Believe it or not, mares like Mooncloud come all the time, you all just forget about it afterwards” said Pinkie, her normal cheerful demeanor returning. “The difference is that this time, there are two ponies like her coming at the same time. The only chance we have is for me to stall Mooncloud and for you to stall the other pony. His name is Crasherdude Awesome by the way, which is a really weird name for a pony, don’t you think? Well I guess I come up with some pretty weird names too. Remember when I thought Nightmare Moon was Black Snooty?” Pinkie said with a giggle. “What was I saying again?”

Twilight couldn’t believe it. A real disaster seemed to be on their hooves, and the only pony who had a clue what was going on was Pinkie Pie. Could the fate of the universe really rest in the hooves of a mare who broke into song every few minutes and lived on a perpetual sugar high?

“Pinkie…” Twilight began, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“Oh yeah! Now I remember what I was saying” chirped Pinkie. “All we have to do is keep the two OCs separated until their fanfics end. No permanent damage can be done as long as the two never meet, easy peasy.”

“Pinkie, we can’t just burry our heads in the sand and wait for this to go away!” objected Twilight. “I’m worried about Fluttershy, we have to do something!”

Pinkie grew serious once more and looked Twilight straight in the eyes. “Twilight” she began. “Remember when Applejack told you everything would be okay if you let go, when you were at the edge of a cliff on our first adventure as friends? You trusted her then, even though she could have easily just told you that Dash and Fluttershy were there to catch you.” Twilight blinked again in surprise. Why had she never thought of that? “Anyways, sometimes you just need to trust your friends. Please Twilight, you have to trust me. I know it seems crazy but I know what I’m doing.”

Twilight looked back at her friend, her doubt slowly receding. How many times did Pinkie’s insanity have to actually be what’s right for Twilight to start believing in her? She was right about everything so far as far as Twilight could tell. She gave her friend a wry smile.

“Alright Pinkie” she said reluctantly. “We’ll do this your way.”

Pinkie smiled. Finally she had gotten through. There just might be hope for Equestria after all.

“Okay” began Pinkie. “First we need to find the other OC and make sure he never meets Mooncloud.”

Just then a green flash streaked across the sky, howling through the air at breakneck speeds. Pinkie and Twilight ran out from their hideaway just in time to see the strange anomaly loop de loop through the sky and slam into the ground at tremendous speeds, creating a shockwave that scattered Mooncloud’s crowd. From the resulting crater rose a glowing green earth pony with bright red eyes and a biohazard cutie mark. Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who had apparently been following the bizarre pony, quickly caught up and immediately proceeded to gaze upon the stallion with looks of unbridled admiration.

“Um Pinkie, I think we found Crasherdude” said Twilight with a look of awe on her face.

“…Shit cakes” said Pinkie Pie.

“Hey what are all you poneez standing around for?” said Crasherdude. “You should try being more awesome, like, me.”

“Yea darn tootin” said Applejack. “Ah reck’on that this hurr lot o’ cowfolk wouldn’t know Ahsome if it was a da’ng rattler a’ comin’g up and bit em in ther’ keister ah re’ckon a heyulk heyulk heyulk.”

“Hahaha awesome bro” said Rainbow Dash.

“For the love of Celestia this has to stop” said Twilight as she turned to Pinkie, a look of horror on her face.

“Quick” shouted Pinkie Pie. “You go keep Crasherdude away from Mooncloud, and take some others with you. Things might get ugly if people don’t start paying attention to him!”

“Right” said Twilight with a nod. “Hey guys let’s go check this out!” The confused crowd slowly started following Twilight. “Not all of you though” said Twilight as she awkwardly faked confidence. “Just, uh…you and you and Bon Bon, no not you Lyra…okay fine Lyra come on but Rose you have to go back… just…okay there!” Twilight said as she brought the group over to meet Crasherdude.

“Woah awesome, you ponies want to see my?” staid Crasherdude.

“Um…I’m sorry what?” asked Twilight. All she heard was a strange gurgling sound coming from the glowing earth pony.

“Pssst” whispered Pinkie, her neck stretching several yards to talk to Twilight. “The aliens who make characters like Crasherdude are awful writers.”

“Why isn’t he saying anything?” asked Twilight back in a hushed tone.

“He tried to say something, but he staid it instead. An amateur mistake” said Pinkie as she shook her head.

“What? I don’t even…wait Pinkie!” called Twilight, but Pinkie’s head had already snapped back to deal with Mooncloud.

“What was that crash? Who is that over there?” asked Mooncloud Shadowdancer in a voice like a weeping angel.

“Oh him?” began Pinkie. “Probably just another fan of yours. You know how people can do crazy things around superstars like you.” She finished with a wide and convincing smile.

“Oh, yes you are right my cheery pink friend” lamented Mooncloud. “All I want is to be like everypony else, and yet all these ponies seem to adore me, though I can’t imagine why…”

“That’s nonsense!” cried Rarity. “Ponies adore you because you are amazing! You’re beautiful, artistic, creative and amazingly talented!”

“Is that…why you adore me Rarity?” asked the alicorn, a single tear forming in the corner of her eye.

“Of course not Mooncloud” began Rarity. “I love you because, well, you’re you!”

“Huh? Whatever could you mean?” asked Mooncloud.

“I love you because you’re who you are” affirmed Rarity. “You’re gentle and kind, and yet you know a pain deeper than most ponies can even imagine. You are strong and feminine, and even though you’re shy you pulsate with a courage unlike anything I have ever seen. You have stolen my heart Mooncloud, and not because you are a famous rock star or poet, but because deep down, you are just like everypony else—but better.”

“Give me a break!” shouted Pinkie Pie.

“Excuse me?” asked Mooncloud.

“Oh I mean…uh… give me a break from all these intense emotions! I’m not as deep as the rest of you; it’s so overwhelming for a happy-go-lucky pony like myself who doesn’t understand pain!” said Pinkie as she fell down dramatically.

“That makes sense” said Fluttershy as she nodded. “Pinkie could never understand our pain.”

Suddenly, a bright green flash darted across the sky, pulling off the most brodacious moves anypony had ever seen. They were so wicked and awesome!

“What on earth is that? asked Mooncloud as the crowd around her began to gaze at the spectacle in awe.

“Oh that’s nothing!" shouted Pinkie nervously. “Weather balloons! Military testing! Whew is it solar flare season already?”

“No stop!” shouted Twilight in the background. “You’re moves are…um… too awesome! Please stop! I can’t take it!”

“So Moondancer!” yelled Pinkie. “Howsabout another one of those great poems!?”

“It’s Mooncloud” the alicorn said tersely.

“Right, of course” said Pinkie nervously. “Poem now please?”

“Well, I suppose I could read another” said Mooncloud suspiciously. As she cleared her throat to begin, a low flying Crasherdude zoomed by, causing the crowd to gaze in amazement.

“This is an outrage!” cried Rarity.

“It looks like everyone is more interested in that strange green object than they are in my bad poetry” Mooncloud said sadly.

“Nonsense!” yelled Pinkie. “I can’t get enough of these awesome poems? Right everypony?”
The crowd was starting to come around and agree with Pinkie when Crasherdude came tearing through the sky overhead, knocking everypony on their flanks with a sonic nukeboom. Everypony stared in awe of the awesome spectacle. It was awesome.

Mooncloud stared as well, unsure what to make of this. Was she really being outshined? Why did it make her feel so sad? This is what she always dreamt about, to feel like everypony else… but something just didn’t seem right about it.
Just then Fluttershy snapped. She flew up into the sky, cutting Crasherdude off.

“Woah you stupid girl what what gives?” siad Crasherdude.

“I’ll tell what gives, you insensitive jock loser!” she shouted. “Why do morons like you always have to try to steal the spotlight from amazing ponies like Mooncloud. Nopony want’s to see your flashy bullshit so why don’t you just take a hike mister!”
Twilight shook her head in disbelief. Fluttershy just swore! She had a bad feeling about this. Crasherdude was stunned.

“Don’t you see how tatolly sweet it is?” he said. “I can fly without wings and I glow and I do awesome stuff that’s sweet and rad!”

“I don’t care if you’re Celestia’s grandpa. You suck! Mooncloud is ten times the pony you are!” shouted Fluttershy.

“Celestia help us” breathed Pinkie Pie.

The attack on the OC’s insane ego was too much for Crasherdude to bear. “Who the fuck is this Mooncloud?” said Crasherdude. “I’ll show you I’m ten times the pony she is!”

“She’s right down there!” huffed Fluttershy. She’s the one who looks ten times cooler and more beautiful than you!”

Mooncloud was easy for Crasherdude to pick out from the crowd. He rocketed down and stood defiantly before her.

“So you think your cooler than me!?” said Crasherdude.

“Well…I don’t want to stand out…” whimpered Mooncloud.

“Of course she is cooler than you!” yelled Rarity. “Anything you can do she can do better!” Twilight zipped in front of Crasherdude.

“Come on Crasherdude” began the terrified unicorn. “This isn’t worth your time” she said as she nudged him away.

“Ah ahgree” said Applejack. “Dem pack ah hawse dung ain’t no nothin’ nohow dun wrasslin’ up a gone y’all how arsweome ya’r”

“What was that!?” questioned Rarity.

“You heard her!” shouted Rainbow Dash.

“Come on now everyone just calm down” pleaded Pinkie Pie.

“Mooncloud, you taught me to be assertive” Fluttershy yelled to the confused alicorn. “Now you have to learn to be assertive for yourself. It’s time to stand up for YOU for a change!”

“Well I…” began Mooncloud.

“What are u chicken?” said Crasherdude. Scootaloo perked her head up.

“I am no chicken, you ruffian!” affirmed Mooncloud.

“ABU UAB HAY AN BASB KHJK SVSV B A HAJ SU Y’ALL SOMETHING SOUTHERN” screeched Applejack.

“How dare you!” retorted Rarity.

“Ill prove I’m better then you!” said Crasherdude.

“You most certainly will not” countered Mooncloud. “I hate to stand out, but people like you need to learn their place!”

As the argument went on Twilight turned to Pinkie Pie, a sad and scared look upon her face.

“Pinkie?” she ventured. “Are we…?”

“Yes Twilight” Pinkie replied. “We’re screwed.

“Theres only 1 way to settle this!!!” said Crasherdude. “I guess I’ll half to save that day!”

Just then a massive meteor appeared in the atmosphere, hurtling at insane speeds towards Ponyville. Everypony began to panic, but then Crasherdude ascended triumphantly into the air.

“Don’t worry I’ll save you guys!” said Crasherdude as he took off towards the meteor.

The meteor was as big as a mountain and was searing hot from entering the Equestrian atmosphere. The gigantic stone stretched for hundreds of miles across the sky; it’s impact would surely destroy all of Equestria, but such a thing was child’s play for the mighty Crasherdude Awesome. He flew right up to the meteor and struck it with his mighty hoof. The meteor was instantly reduced to a cloud of fine powder, but such a hazardous and massive cloud of debris could still pose a threat to Ponyville. Thinking quickly, he snorted all the meteor dust, absorbing it into the portal to another dimension that existed inside his nose. He flew down and was met with applause from the citizens of Ponyville.

“WOAH DUDE THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!” shouted Rainbow Dash.

“I NO RIGHT?” said Crasherdude. The mighty pony landed gently in front of Mooncloud. “Top that!” he said.

“Very well” replied Moondancer. “You leave me no choice!”

The alicorn hoisted her magnificent horn into the air and in a bright flash of white there appeared a magnificent stage, equipped with a drummer and a bassist. A dark haze leaked from the stage, and rose petals fell everywhere. The stage itself had a gothic theme: the backdrop was white, a few black gnarled faux trees could be seen in the background. All the ponies on stage had on dark gothic costumes, Mooncloud’s being especially dazzling.

“Watch and learn” she said, just before breaking into song.

Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout out loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end?

We hear the call to carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on!

Everypony cheered and applauded the ingenious musical talent of Mooncloud Shadowdancer. Ponies screamed and went wild, many experiencing chills as her peerless voice belted out the deep and meaningful lyrics. Once the song was over, she blew a kiss to Crasherdude.

“Art will always triumph over brute force” the alicorn said smugly.

“Triumph over this!”said Crasherdude as laser beams from his eyes blew up the stage. Mooncloud surrounded herself and her band in protective magic and descended to the ground.

“Are you insane!?” shooted Mooncloud.

“Insanely AWESOME” said Crasherdude.

The two pressed their faces angrily each other, their eyes connecting in pure hate.

“I am the most graceful pony in the land!” cried Mooncloud

“I am the most AWESOME Pony in the land!” said Crasherdude.

“You’re nothing” Mooncloud responded.

“YOUR A DUMASS!” said Crasherdude.

“I’m special!” yelled Moondancer.

As the two bickered and argued over who was the most special pony of all time, the fabric of time and space began to crumble. The sky became streaked with blood red energy and random flashes and explosions occurred spontaneously. Chips of sky fell to earth, leaving nothing but white cracks in the sky.

“I’m so sorry Pinkie, I should have listened to you from the start” Twilight said sadly, expecting the worst.

"No Twilight, I'm sorry. I should have ended this a long time ago." Pinkie's expression suddenly grew dark, and strands of her poofy cotton candy hair began to fall straight against her face. "I should have known I wasn't going to stop this without getting my hooves dirty" she said with a hollow smile.

The world around Pinkie began to dissolve until she stood alone, a pink slab of felt against a felt background, and various scenes began to play out in a felty fashion.

"OC ponies invade my home"

Check

"The sons of bitches corrupt my friends"

Check

"They have the gall to become the main characters in our world."

Check

"They destroy half of Ponyville in their childish argument."

Check

"They tear the fabric of reality and succeed in destroying everything I ever loved."

Pinkie exited her inner world, brandishing two felt shurikens that she brought back with her, her hair now completely straight and a look of pure rage in her wild eyes.

"I DON"T BUCKING THINK SO!"

With that she threw the deadly felt weapons straight at the invaders. The shurikens hit their marks, both burying themselves inside the OC ponies skulls. The ridiculous duo felt the cold grip of death.

“What is this I don’t even…” said Twilight.

Just then a bizarre glow spewed forth from the bodies of the OC ponies. Their wounds closed and healed, and the two rose to their feet.

“Dear Celestia” mouthed Twilight.

“I have super healing abilities so hah!” Crasherdude said to Mooncloud.

“Oh yeah well when I was born the doctor said I had the super rare ability to heal from any wound!” shouted Mooncloud.

“That so?” said Crasherdude. “Well I have that ability plus like a hundred more!”

“Which pales in comparison to the fact that I am CELESTIA AND LUNA”S MOTHER!” cried Mooncloud, who had become hysterical with power. “That’s right. I sealed away my memories to protect myself from the truth, but I just remembered! That’s why I have two different color wings, to symbolize that I am the source of all light and darkness!”

“Oh yeah well I’m your father!” said Crasherdude.

“That doesn’t even fit your back story!” screeched Mooncloud.

"Pinkie!' breathed Twilight desperately. "Is this really the end?"

Pinkie thought hard, her brain formulating one last desperate idea. "I'm sorry Lauren" said Pinkie. I'm going to have to break my promise."

Pinkie looked up in the air, deciding on the exact point she needed to break through. She chose one of the white cracks, where the fabric of their reality was already weak.

"Twilight" began Pinkie. "Use your magic to throw me up into the sky, right there if you can" she said pointing.

"But Pinkie" protested Twilight. "That's-"

"Now isn't the time for your logic!" shouted Pinkie. "Do it or we're all doomed!"

Twilight gulped nervously, and threw Pinkie straight up into the chaos. Pinkie never faltered as she was launched towards the crumbling sky. She just pulled her hoof back and suddenly--

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” I shouted as Pinkie’s hoof crashed through my computer screen and ripped three keys off my keyboard.

“Pinkie what did you do!?” shouted Twilight as Pinkie fell back down into Ponyville.

“Never mind” she replied. “Take this, we don’t have much time!”

Twilight looked down at what pinkie placed in her hoof. It was a rectangle with the letter: a.

“Pinkie what is this?” asked Twilight.

“No time to explain!” cried the valiant Pink mare as she threw another similar object labeled ‘Ctrl’ to Twilight. “Use your magic to hold those two things together and hold on to your existence, I don't know exactly what will happen.

Twilight levitated the two objects several feet from her. There was some resistance, but in a brilliant flash the two pieces merged together. Twilight was knocked back as a royal blue shockwave burst out from the fused keys. The blue spread out, quickly spanning over the entire universe.

“This one’s for my innocence!” shouted Pinkie as she galloped towards the center of the explosion and thrust her delete key into Ctrl and a.

Epilogue:
No Pinkie didn’t destroy the universe. With the horrible f@nfic destroyed everything returned back to norm@l. Nopony remembered the horrible events th@t took pl@ce; even Pinkie Pie h@d been sp@red the cruel f@te of remembering such terror. Life in Ponyville returned to norm@l, s@ve for one difference. For some re@son or @nother, @ certain Pink mare reg@ined her love for cupc@kes. Now, if you'll @ll excuse me, I h@ve to buy @ new l@ptop.