Discord was sitting with Fluttershy and her friends at Sugarcube Corner, enjoying the usual cupcake or, in Discord's case, cake cup. At first it had gotten odd stares from the others; a large coffee cake mug filled with hot coffee would make any company nervous if there was a chance of it spilling out of the cake mug.
"So," Twilight said sipping from a slushy. "I've been taking reading from Rainbow's sonic rainboom, and have gotten some interesting results."
"Let me guess, it was made of awesome?" Rainbow said with a chuckle.
"No, it was made of window shattering kinetic energy that defied the sound barrier." Twilight said making her friend's grin disappear. "Although, I have found what actually gives it the color. Apparently, after multiple test with water, I've found that it doesn't come from your mane, but the clouds you pick up in the free-fall. It all acts like a prism in the end, or, during the end I should say."
"You know," Discord said clearing his throat. "That actually reminds me of a certain memory." He said tapping his paw against his head. "Ah! It was how Celestia got the rainbow in her mane. And to this day, it still haunts her I bet." He chuckled. "It was a little embarrassing for me, but funny at the same time."
"What happened?" Rarity asked. "Wasn't her mane always that color?"
"No," he sighed. "It was actually a clam's fault."
"...The shellfish?" She said slowly. "A clam made her mane turn rainbow? Is there something in it? Was it magic?"
"It was undercooked." He said huffing. "Seeing how this isn't getting to any of you, do you just want me to tell you, since I remember now?"
"Yes!" Twilight said. "I've actually wondered if she has a spell on her mane or not. Or if there was an accident."
"Or when Rainbow smashed into the castle and into Celestia's bathroom while she was getting out of the tub!" Pinkie said snickering.
Twilight, slack-jawed, looked over at an equally disturbed Rainbow Dash. Twilight mouthed a ' We'll talk about that later.' Before turning her attention back to Discord.
Finishing off his treat, Discord cracked his neck, popped his talon/paw, he cleared his throat and leaned back. A small smile on his face.
"It all started a thousand years ago, back before when I was in stone. Before me and Celestia were enemies, back when we were," he opened his eyes and gave a short laugh. "In love."
Twilight spit out her cold drink, Rarity choked on her cupcake slightly, Applejack was hitting her head on the table, Rainbow had a hoof to her mouth, Fluttershy was as red as Applejack's brother, and Pinkie merely shrugged.
Discord, to their partial shock, began to laugh. Hitting the table a few times with his paw, he began to silently laugh, barely any air going or coming from his lungs as he fell onto the floor clutching his sides. Slowing his breathing, he calmed down and looked back up at the angry mares.
"You should have seen your faces!" He laughed. "P-Priceless!"
"Discord, that wasn't very nice." Fluttershy said. "Could we hear the story, with no jokes this time?"
Looking up at her puppy dog eyes, he sighed and rolled his eyes. He snapped his talon and they all found themselves momentarily blinded. Opening their eyes, they found themselves sitting outside in the town square, with Discord on a large stage.
"Hello! Hello little ponies!" Discord yelled out. "Come! Come one, come all to hear of the past! The past event of your solar princess! take a seat if your interested!"
Having gotten nearly the entire market's attention from behind, nearly all the ponies came out from behind the stage and sat in front. Murmurs of a lame magic show or a plan to put them all in a jello mold were thrown around. With a snap of his talon, a large black screen appeared where Discord was standing.
He walked out from behind it and gave a quick smile before diving back behind it.
"Alright, this goes here... This plugs into that... And-"
The crowd gasped as a sudden flash of light erupted from behind the screen, smoke rose up into the air. Discord, charred slightly, came out from behind the screen and connected two cords before the screen lit up.
Discord's memory
A yellow talon lifted up another one of the greyed muffins. Somepony clearing their throat got his attention, Discord looked over and saw Celestia, her pink mane blowing beside her, giving him a flat look.
"What?" He asked. "You want some?" He asked offering her some.
"Nay, we wish naught for any of thy sickly food." She said tilting her nose up. "We hath servants to bring Us Our meals."
"Whatever you say." He said, letting the images move up in an eye roll. "More blackberry strawberry glazed muffins for me then. What are you eating?" He asked as the golden doors opened. "Oh! It smells..." A paw went up to his mouth as a wet sound came from him. "Sickly."
"Tis in good faith," she said as a griffon wearing a set of dark iron armor came in shortly after. "We must dine with the griffon king for a treaty. We must have what the griffons call a 'clam' which lives upon the rocks in yonder sea."
Discord, tilting his head looked across the table they were at and saw the griffon staring at him. He merely blinked before his vision switched to the silver dish a servant had put down for the griffon. Lifting it up, Discord's vision became slightly watery as the grey shellfish were uncovered. Looking to the side, he saw Celestia with her own dish in front of her.
He sniffed the air and gave a cough. Looking back down, he watched as the solar alicorn picked up a black shell with a grey, slimy looking thing resting inside that swished to the side when her magic wobbled slightly.
Looking at Celestia's face, she was clearly hesitant about eating it. Her lips quivered slightly, her eyes watering, and the shade of green she was sporting definitely gave it away. Just as she was about to open her mouth to slide it in, the griffon shook his head and sighed, grabbing their attention.
"If the princess shall not eat the clam, then We shall take Our leave." He said getting up.
"A-Actually," Discord said making the griffon stop. "Would you still consider a treaty if... If I were to eat it?" He said casting a glance at a surprised Celestia.
"We... Would consider." He said sitting back down.
Taking the shellfish from Celestia, he swished the little morsel in the shell before looking at the griffon. In a swift motion, the only thing seen through his eyes was the back wall as a slurping sound resonated throughout the room. He swiftly gulped and audibly licked his lips.
"Huh." He said looking at the shell. "That was actually really good. Are you going to eat that?" He asked pointing at the smiling griffon.
"Aye. Here." The griffon said sliding the clam over.
He took the clam and immediately slurped it up. Looking over at Celestia, she had a mixed looked, ranging from disgust to surprise.
"I don't know why you didn't eat it, Tia." He said. "I thought it was pretty-" a loud gurgle came from his stomach. "Oh. I guess it-" he let out a small belch before standing straight up. "I think I'm going to-"
He suddenly lurched forward and his vision became watery. Looking around, he spotted an empty bowl next to Celestia. Without looking, he leaned to the side and emptied his stomach contents.
He opened them when he heard the griffon laughing, looking down, Celestia's ears were splayed back and she was currently glaring up at Discord. He let out a small snicker as he saw the rainbow vomit run down her neck and stick in her mane.
"Discord," she growled. "Thou hath ruined the treaty!"
"B-But I-I ate the clams! I didn't know!" He said looking back at the griffon. "I'm sorry for that, it was an accident!"
"Thank thee!" The griffon said. "We would hath hanged Ourself at the gallows if We were forced to endure such a meeting again. Princess Celestia," he gave her a salute and a small laugh. "The griffons shall be at thy side."
Real world
All the ponies in the crowd were laughing, some rolling on the ground while others were holding onto each other.
"How did you all enjoy it!?" Discord shouted over the crowd.
He was answered by another wave of laughter. Only, what he didn't expect, was a restrained breathing coming from his left. Slowly looking over, he gave a meek smile as Celestia herself stood there. The crowd saw them, she looked at them, and then they all burst into an even higher pitched laughter.
"You like stories, Discord?" She asked smiling as the crowd finally calmed down. "Especially the humorous ones?" She said giving his a sharp smile.
"Um.. Y-Yes?" He answered while tapping his index paw and talon together.
Clearing her throat, Celestia turned towards the crowd, a smile slowly rising. Looking at them all, waiting for them to finish snickering and making sure she had their attention, she gave a small nod towards them once it was quiet.
"Who here wants to know why Discord only has one tooth?" She asked.
"No!" Discord shouted. "I-I mean... Why would you want to bore them with such a dull memory? Nothing happened." He said with a blush.
"What's wrong, Discord?" She asked. "I think they would like to know about your first crush."
"Shut up!" He yelled. "I'll fill Canterlot with marshmallows if you do!"
"Once upon a time..." She began.
'Big mistake.' he though raising his paw.
Author's Note
The lesson here: clams are especially delicious when deep fried.
