Kissing the Sun

by Bolding

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 19308

A first kiss is usually a big thing for a girl, right? What happens when it's from the most powerful being in the land?

Anon is a strange, nice guy. Always nervous, always awkward, but nice nonetheless.
Celestia is the ruler of all the land and the controller of the sun, but mostly keeps to herself.
What happens when you mix the two?
Hilarity and high-jinx, that's what!

This is an Anon in Equestria story, featuring you as Anonymous. If you have a problem with stories being in second person and the main character being called Anon, please, by all means, leave now.

Content Rating subject to change.

Published 2013-07-27 21:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-07 20:31:06 UTC

Chapter 1: "Spaghetti, Hover Arms, and a Stolen Kiss."

Taking a seat on the bench, you let out a distraught sigh, trying to figure out your next move. The majestic mare takes a seat beside you, her beautiful mane flowing in the cold, unforgiving winter wind. She lets out a small, shrill cry as a shiver runs down her spine. Removing your coat, you attempt to wrap it around her body, making sure not to be too invasive on the mare. It proves rather difficult, especially since the coat is designed for humans and not ponies. After several minutes of struggling, you just hang it over her shoulders.

"Thank you, Anon," she coos with her usual gentle tone.

Turning your head away in embarrassment, you mumble a low, "No problem," and nervously shake your leg.

This night couldn't go worse than it has. Not only were you fifteen minutes late to pick up Celestia from the castle grounds, but you even went as far as to spill your plate of spaghetti all over her back at the restaurant! To top it off, the weather stallion was wrong for the first time in years, saying that tonight was going to be a "mild" cold. Shaking your head in dismay, you feel something warm press up against your arm. Celestia rests her head against you, a fiery red blush spread across her face.

"I wouldn't want you to get cold either," she murmurs, nuzzling her muzzle against you. The shaking in your leg intensifies as your heart beats faster than before.

Say something, you dolt! you tell yourself in your head. 'Now's your chance to woo her!'

"Y-you too," you blurt.

The air grows silent; still even. The echo from your voice dies down after several seconds of booming across the park. If a god exists somewhere in these lands, you can only hope he'll strike you down right now. Your breath cuts short, unable to pass from the tension your body is holding. Celestia's cheeks puff out as her face shows clear signs of discomfort, almost as if she's in pain.

In nervous spur, you begin chuckling, trying to lighten the mood. The mare breaks into giggles, pushing her head against your chest now for support. After a few minutes of one sided laughter, you out of the corner of your eyes as the princess nuzzles your neck.

Now's your chance to make a move!

Stretching your arms into the air, you attempt to fake a yawn, slowly lowering it back down around her. Not taking your focus off it, you bring it closer and closer to her shoulder, your palms sweating heavily. Closer and closer you get, only a mere inch away from her. And then you stop. The old hover hand has struck again, making you look like a complete fool once again.

Come on! Just place your arm on her back and grab her shoulder. This isn't hard! you tell yourself. No matter how hard you try, your arm refuses to lower any more. Instead, it catapults forward and smacks the mare in the back of her head, sending her crown flying.

"I'm so sorry!" you exclaim, trying your best to help her without touching her. "I'll grab your crown for you!"

"It's alright, Anon. Please, calm dow—" Sprinting away from the seat, you curse under your breath as you search for the head piece in the tall grass. After a couple of minutes of looking, you find the crown, completely covered in dirt and blades of grass. Using your shirt, you wipe it clean and return to Celestia who patiently waits for your return. Kneeling down, you place the crown on the mares head and smile.

It's then you realize how close your face is to hers. Her hot breath beats against your face, smelling of a mixture of mint and lavender. Your heart beats faster, knowing where this is going, but your brain is still trying its best to register everything. The air grows still as you reach ever closer to her face, her lips puckered and eyes closed.

This is it.

This was the moment you painstakingly practiced on your pillow all morning for. Following in suit, you lean your head forward and prepare for a kiss. Before long, the light, warm press of her lips is against your own. For what feels like an eternity, you hold your position and open an eye to peek. Tears flow down her cheeks, leaving an unsettled feeling in the pit of your stomach. Releasing the kiss, the princess looks up at you with a beautiful smile.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything! Please, don't cry!" Celestia giggles as you pull out a handkerchief and wipe the tears from her face.

"Anon, please calm down. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just happy, is all." Happy? About a kiss? A bit cliche in your opinion, but who are you to judge.

"Happy about what?" you question, putting the cloth back in your pocket. She turns her head away, avoiding your sight.

"It's... nothing." She turns back to you, smile still protruding across her face. "All I do know is that I had a wonderful time tonight, all thanks to you, Anon." Your stomach untangles as a smile sneaks onto your face. Wrapping your arms around her neck, you embrace her in a tight hug.

"I'm glad to hear it." Letting go of the mare, you stand up and offer your hand in assistance to help her off the bench. She extends her hoof and you lift her up, bringing her to her hooves. As Celestia climbs down from seat, she looks up to the sky and lets out a content sigh.

"I must be getting back home. Will I... see you again, maybe?" she mumbles, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Of course," you reply with a nod. With a nod, she spreads her beautiful wings and takes to sky as you begin your venture home.

Waking up to the sound of birds chirping in the morning would normally send you in a blistering fury, but you were in just too good of mood to care right now. Throwing off the covers, you jump from your bed and walk into the bathroom to perform your usual morning routine. Once done, you put on a fresh set of clothes and head off to start your day. Walking down the path on such a beautiful day was practically a blessing. The sun was shining brightly, but gave off a nice, subtle warmth that was comfortable.

Over the past few days, it was rather hot, even though it was winter. Passing by the usual stands, you give your morning hellos and waves. But something was off today. The ponies were acting differently around you. Some mockingly, some nervous, and some cold, even. Walking over to Roseluck's stand, you lean in and look at the flowers.

"A nice batch you got today," you comment, trying to make small talk.

"Sure is," she says bluntly. Looking up from the plants, you make contact with a deathly glare from Roseluck. Backing away from the stand, you continue your venture towards the large library down the street. The streets of Canterlot were rather ‘chatty’, today. Whispers and murmurs course your ears as you walk down the brick path.

"How dare he defile our princess!"

"I wonder what their foals would look like?"

"He's kind of cute now that I take a look at him." With breakneck speed, you reach the front door of the building and enter, slamming the door behind you. Twilight looks up from her desk, glaring directly at you.

"Anon, what have I told you about slamming the door?" she whispers in an annoyed tone. Ever since Twilight took the position of librarian in Canterlot, your visits have been nothing but nagging and moaning.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to get off the streets," you gasp, trying to catch your breath. "All the ponies are talking about me and I'm getting mixed results about their comments."

"Well, you are the talk of the country right now, it would seem," she says with a blush. Twilight hovers a newspaper over to you with her magic aura, displaying a huge picture that makes you almost swallow your tongue. Displayed in big, bold lettering, the title reads, "Princess Celestia and Anonymous - Will it last?" Clamping tightly onto the paper, you read over the article.

"Celestia and Anon, yada yada... dating for two weeks now... stole her first kiss?" You look up from the paper at the mare in panic. "That was Celestia's first kiss?"

Twilight slowly nods.

"I-in a while, right?" you stutter. She shakes her head, a concerned frown formed on her lips.

"You are actually the first stal— er, being, to ever kiss the princess." Dropping the paper, you smack your hand against your forehead and groan.

"God, damn it! After such a horrible night I had to go do that. I'm such an idiot!" Dropping onto your ass, you bury your face into your hands. Twilight exits her place at the front desk and walks over to you, placing her hoof on your shoulder.

"It couldn't have been that bad, right Anon?" You look up at her with a death-like stare, shaking your head.

"It was a horrible night. I spilled my dinner on her, I punched her the back of head, and then I stole her first kiss." Twilight winces as you make a mention of the blow to the head before trying again to comfort you.

”I’m sure the princess had a great time. Why don’t you go talk to her?” Your heart sinks at the thought of facing Celestia again. She’ll probably throw you in a dungeon. Or worse...

The friendzone.

The heavy front door swings open, filling the room with sunlight. Two royal guards stand in the doorway, their eyes fixated on you.

”Mr. Anonymous. Her majesty requests an audience with you.” Looking over at Twilight, you shake your head.

“Looks like I don’t have much of a choice now, huh?”

Author's Note

I can't into romance or SoL. BUT BY GOD, I WILL TRY TO FIX THAT!

Chapter 2: "It's just a paper. Calm down."

Chapter 2: "It's just a paper. Calm down."

Looking out the window, Celestia lets the warm sun grace her translucent mane. It always makes her mane look prettier when she does it. Though today is the beginning of winter, she couldn’t help but put up a warm sun for everypony to enjoy. She’s just so happy that she feels the need to spread the warmth, both figuratively and literally.

“You seem to be in a good mood today, sister.” Turning around, Celestia meet the gaze of none other than Luna. With a chipper nod and benevolent smile, Celestia returns to her desk and take a seat.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I am,” she replies as she lifts up a stack of scrolls. Luna furrows her brow while she approaches the desk, carrying a newspaper in her magical grip.

“Could it be because of this?” She raises it to show the front of the paper, featuring a big, bold headline with Celestia’s name and a picture of her and Anonymous kissing. Celestia can’t help but blush as she takes the paper from Luna and looks it over. Opening the drawer to her side, Celestia searches for a pair of scissors to snip the picture out. As much as she disliked the paparazzi, she had to give it to them for capturing one of the most important memories of her life.

“Sister, have you read that yet?” Luna growls as Celestia cuts along the edge of the picture. She shake her head: to be honest, Celestia couldn’t care less. But something catches her attention. A certain name, to be specific. It’s then she notices the headline.

“Princess Celestia and Anonymous - Will it last?” she reads aloud. “Why wouldn’t it?” Reading over the article, it contains the usual dribble the media puts into it: accusations, exaggerations, and all kinds of “-ations”. Luna gives Celestia an uneasy look as she glances back at her.

“Turn to the fifth page,” Luna mumbles in an almost inaudible tone. Doing as told, Celestia flips over to the fifth page and views the pictures it contains. Clear images of Anonymous spilling his meal on her, hovering his forearm behind her, and smacking her in the back of the head layer the page. Placing her hoof over her mouth, Celestia resists the urge to burst out laughing. Luna watches her with a concerned express as she begins to hiccup and cough.

“I know, sister, it’s hard to take in. I’ve had the guards bring him to the castle to so that we may confront him about stealing your first kiss.” And with that, Celestia’s hoof flies off of her muzzle as she bursts into laughter. Luna tilts her head back in confusion as Celestia wipes the tears from her own eyes.

“Oh, Luna, you’re so funny. You really must stop believing everything you see in the paper!” Luna’s jaw drops as she looks back between the paper and her sister, trying to figure out what is going on right now.

“B-but they have photos of him right there! He took your first kiss right off your lips!” Celestia shakes her head and sighs.

“Yes, he did take my first kiss. But do you really think I would let somepony take it without my consent?” Luna’s opens her mouth to object, but stops and tilts her ears back in embarrassment. Looking over the paper again, Celestia can’t help but smile as she thinks back to last night.

“I don’t understand,” Luna groans, looking Celestia in the eyes with a distraught stare. “Why would you allow such a.. “being” to take something so sacred to you? From the looks of it, he’s rather clumsy.” Grabbing the scissors with her magically aura, Celestia resumes cutting the pictures.

“Because he doesn’t like Princess Celestia, he likes just Celestia.” Luna nods her head in agreement, knowing exactly where she’s coming from. With a subtle chuckle, Celestia continues. “All the stallions I’ve dated in my years have always gone out with me in hopes of gaining the royalty. Anonymous is the first one to show true feelings and get to know the real me.” Grabbing the clipping with her magic, Celestia lifts it into the air to take a closer look. “As for his clumsiness, it’s something I like about him. It shows he isn’t perfect and doesn’t wish to be anypony other than himself. Also,” she adds with a deeper blush, “I think it’s adorable.”

Luna rolls her eyes and puts her hoof to her mouth, pretending to gag. Placing the paper down, Celestia gives her a stern glare accompanied by a wicked smirk.

“I wouldn’t talk. Remember Prince Anura?” Luna’s eyes widen to that of saucer plates before she charges forward, flailing her hooves at her sister.

“You promised you would never mention that again!” she screams, pounding her hoof against the mare’s forelegs. Neither of them notice the guard who stands at the doorway, waiting for a break in the action. He clears his throat in hopes of catching their attention, but instead spooks Luna. Her horn glows an elegant shade of light blue before her entire self disappears into thin air. The guard looks nervously between the spot where Luna once stood and Celestia.

“I didn’t interrupt something, did I, Princess?” he asks, barely above a whisper. Shaking her head, Celestia beckons him in, resuming her snipping of the pictures from last night. He continues to look at the spot where Luna was, clearly wondering why she teleported out of the room.

“She thinks you heard our conversation and panicked,” she mentions, clearing his confusion. “Now, what brings you here?” The guard awkwardly scratches the back of his head as he looks out the door.

“Well, we brought Anonymous here just like Luna asked and he’s waiting for you in the dining hall.” Sweat begins to pour down his face as he looks back to her, trying his hardest not to laugh.

“What’s the matter?” Celestia ask, not able to hold back her grin. The guard begins to chuckle lightly, looking back at the princess.

“For starters, and I mean no offense to you or him, but that guy has terrible luck.” His chuckle quickly turns into a heavy laugh as he shakes his head. “He tripped on the chariot as he was entering it and almost bashed his forehead. After telling us, ‘It’s alright, the rocks in my head keep me protected,’ he attempted to get into the carriage that he did not fit in. He took a seat on top and we came to a tree on the way here...”

He stops, almost looking queasy as he attempts to finish his report. Raising a hoof up, Celestia signals for him to stop. Waving her hoof, she dismisses the guard who bows before leaving the room. Celestia steps down from her desk and heads towards the dining hall where Anonymous sits at the table, covered in leaves and scratches. He looks down at the bowl of soup in front of him, letting out a disheartened sigh as he loses himself in his reflection. Taking advantage of this, Celestia sneaks up behind him like a playful filly.

“Good morning,” she coos, nuzzling the back of his neck with her muzzle. Anonymous jumps up, banging the table that is obviously too low for him, and knocks the bowl of soup over, pouring a decent amount of the hot liquid onto his lap. He screams in agony, trying his best to get up, only to trip over his own feet and fall back in his chair. With a large ‘thud’, Anon bangs his head against the marble flooring, knocking him out cold.

Author's Note

I need more booze.

Chapter 3: "Never assume."

Opening your eyes, you look around the room. White curtains lining the windows, several cots standing in neat row, and medical supplies sitting on a desk make it pretty obvious that you’re in an infirmary, presumably the castle’s. A jolt of sheer pain courses the back of your head as you try to lift yourself from the bed, causing you to curse under your breath.

“It’s best if you lie down. You banged your head pretty badly.” You look over to your side for the source of the noise and catch Princess Luna in your line of sight, sitting on bed beside yours. With a weary groan, you do as told and lay back, but not before scanning the room.

“Where’s Celestia?” you ask, wondering where your marefriend is. Luna gives you a hot glare as you continue to look at her in confusion.

“Princess Celestiahad a few things to take care of. I had to convince her that you would be fine and to carry out her royal duties, so the only way to get her to leave was to promise her that I would watch over you,” she growls, not taking a moment to remove her hard stare.

Thinking it over, you try to remember what happened before all this. Two guards asked you to come to the castle by request of the princess, you rode here on top of a chariot, there was the tree and the beehive, then they asked you if you were hungry.

“A bowl of soup, if you don’t mind,” you remember asking. When it finally got to you, you weren’t really all that hungry: you were more concerned with finding a way to apologize to Celestia for the horrible night and embarrassing her in the newspaper. A simple idea popped into your head, but then something scared you and, before you could tell what was going on, your groin felt like it caught fire. Then everything went black.

“I messed up again, didn’t I?” you groan, trying to hold back your embarrassment. “How bad is it?” Luna hops down from the bed, grabbing a small mirror with her magic.

“Why don’t you look for yourself?” she asks, putting the mirror over your face. The reflection makes you jump a little. Bandages cover your entire head, leaving only opening for your eyes, nose, and mouth, making you look like a mummy. Letting out a disheartened sigh, you close your eyes and hope for the hand of death to take you away.

“Celly’s never going to let me take her out on a another date looking like this,” you say, smacking your forehead. Luna gives you a confused gaze as you bang your hands against the bed like a child.

“Another date?” Luna questions, putting the mirror back in its place. Carefully nodding your head, you open your eyes and throw your arms into the air.

“I wanted to take her on a second date to make up for ruining the last one. I looked at the paper this morning and realized that I had her share her first kiss ever after such a horrible night. I felt guilty, so I wanted to make it up to her somehow,” you say, nervously scratching your chin. “Sounds cheesy, doesn’t it?” Luna’s glare changes to a paranoid stare before shaking her head and putting on a small smile.

“Yes, it does,” she replies. An awkward silence fills the air as the two of stare at each other for a moment before you burst into laughter. Luna follows in tow, laughing even harder than you, tears swelling in her eyes.

“You know, I’ve had a question that I’ve been meaning to ask my sister,” Luna begins, sitting down in her previous spot on the bed with a serious look plastered across her face. “How did you meet my sister?”

You begin to chuckle, thinking back to that day. Oh, what a day it was.

“Well, it was at the Summer Sun Celebration earlier this year. Twilight took me to see Celestia raise the sun since I was kind of skeptical about it.”

Luna raises an eyebrow suspiciously before you raise your hand.

“Listen, there were people back in my world who used to say they can raise the sun, and I’ll tell you, they most certainly couldn’t. Anyway, a few ponies were getting aggravated that I was blocking their view, being as tall as I am, and started shouting profanities and plenty of mean things at me. Twilight kept trying her hardest to help me calm them down, but it just wasn’t working. That’s when Celestia saw us on her way to the stage. She had planned to talk to me after the ceremony because I am only freak of nature of my kind in your world, but she felt that the easiest way to fix the issue was to give me a special seat next to her.”

Luna puts a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. For a moment, she sits in that position before bursting out into laughter.

“I remember now!” she exclaims, trying to talk over her own giggles. “You were the one whose seat didn’t fit him, so they got him a cardboard box. It ended up breaking and you crushed the oranges inside it! What was that nickname they gave you?” She lifts her head into air, trying her best to remember it. Blushing, you nervously scratch your temple and chuckle.

“The Juicer,” you mutter. Luna breaks into an almost maniacal laughter, grabbing a pillow to cover her face to muffle herself. After a moment of awkward laughter, Luna wipes the tears from her eyes and clears her throat.

“My apologies. You may continue.”

“Anyway, after the whole ‘juicer’ incident, Celly went and helped removed the juice from my pants, which was quite nerve racking. It’s not everyday you sit a booth with a powerful ruler in your boxers as she cleans your pants for you. After she was finished, I thanked her for everything and asked her if she would like to go out for tea one day as payment for helping me out.” Luna give you look of almost utter disgust.

“Tea? You asked a princess out for tea?” Nodding your head, you give her a concerned stare.

“Why, does she not like tea?” you ask worriedly. “She told me she loved tea. Don’t tell me I’ve been forcing her to have tea with me for the sake of being nice.” Luna shakes her head.

“No, I’d expect something more... sophisticated, like an elegant lunch or something. Just having tea is something we do all the time!”

“Well, she seemed to enjoy it,” you reply with a shrug. “We had a great afternoon and found out we have a lot in common. So, since then, we’ve been seeing each other more and more.”

Luna steps down from her seat and lets out a disappointed sigh.

“I was expecting something more exciting, like you were the prince of your former land, or you fought off an army to protect her.” She rolls her eyes playfully. “I guess my sister will always have a boring relationship, no matter who she chooses. At least I know a little bit more about you.” She leans forward, a glare focused on you. “But don’t think for a second I’m not watching you. If you ever hurt my sister, I won’t hesitate to throw you into the dungeon,” she grunts before taking her leave.

You’re not quite sure what that had to do with anything, but she seems like a caring sister. Not so much a great acquaintance, but a good sister nonetheless. Closing your eyes, you think over and over again what you’re going to do when you run int—

“How are you feeling, Anon?” You nearly jump out of your skin as Celestia’s voice catches you off guard. Her chipper smile quickly fades as a worried frown takes its place. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” she blurts, waving a hoof into the air.

“We have to stop meeting like that,” you say with a chuckle. Celestia’s smile returns as she places a hoof on your shoulder. Her smile always lightens the atmosphere in room, no matter how gloomy it is. It must be really awkward when she attends funerals.

“I heard you had a talk with Luna,” she mutters, her ears tilting back a bit in dismay. “She told me you had something important to talk about.” Lifting yourself up from the bed, you turn to the mare with a serious face. Her smile dissipates as you place a hand on her shoulder and take a deep breath.

“Yes, I do. I was hoping to do it in a more... formal manner.” You look down at the hospital gown and touch the bandages on your head. “But something this important has to be addressed no matter the condition I’m in.”

Celestia’s eyes being to fill with tears as she mutters, “I understand.” A bit confused, you wipe the tears from her eyes and smile.

“So you’d be willing to go on another date with me? I want to make up for our last one.” Celestia shakes her head, completely bewildered. She opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water, completely thrown off.

“You mean you want to stay with me?” You tilt your head back, just as confused.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask. Celestia lets out sigh of relief as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

“I was sure this whole newspaper article was going to scare you away. I only assumed the worst,” she whipsers, avoiding any means of eye contact. Next thing you know, you start laughing.

“This? Oh, no, trust me. I’m used to being a laughingstock. I was worried that you wouldn’t want to be with me because of that article!” You both engage in giggle fit as any fears you had are lifted from you.

“They say great minds think alike!” you joke. The laughter cuts short as you stop and think about what you just said. Idiot! That has nothing to do with this moment!

Slapping yourself in the forehead for your arrogance, you scream in agony. You had completely forgot about the bee stings and scratches all over your face. Celestia holds back her laughter as you rub the affected area in displeasure.

“Another date you say?” she asks, a sly smile on her face. “I most definitely will.”

Author's Note

This keyboard of mine glows with an awesome LED! It clacking TELLS ME TO UPDATE MY STORY! TAKE THIS: My words, my keystrokes, and ALL OF MY CHAPTERS!

KISSING THE SUN CHAPTER THREEEEEEEE!

Chapter 4: "Bad Blood"

Magnificent, flowing mane? Check. Devilish, handsome smile? Check. Best stallion in existence? You bet.

Prince Blueblood continues to admire himself in the mirror as his servant walks in, just short of a nervous breakdown. The small stallion’s lips quiver as he enters the room, sweat pouring down from the cerulean mane on top of his head.

“Prince Blueblood, sire,” he mutters, refusing to look his master in the eye. Blueblood stops his self-admiration as he turns to the stallion, a scowl plastered on his face. The servant looks down at the ground, shaking in fear.

“What is so important that you must interrupt me, Wilson?” Blueblood growls. Wilson nervously scratches his foreleg, looking around the room for some sort of escape. He swallows hard before letting out the words he dreads to say.

“The newspapers successfully posted your article as instructed.” Blueblood triumphantly smiles as he turns back to his mirror. “But there might be a problem.” His scowl returns as he slowly turns back around to the servant, his eyes matching that of a murderer. He stomps his hoof onto the ground, quickly checking for any dirt it may have accumulated after.

“I made my instructions clear, did I not Wilson?” he snarls, wiping his hoof against the curtains nearby. “If we are to ensure my place as king…”

“...we must prevent your aunt from falling in love with the ape. Yes, I know, sire,” Wilson finishes. “But it seems a strange twist has occurred.” Blueblood stops his cleaning episode to give the servant a confused glare.

“And that is?” Wilson takes a deep breath, trying his best to find the words that will not send his master into a blind fury. He lets out a defeated sigh and decides to be honest.

“It has created another date between the two, it seems.” Blueblood shakes his head, baffled by the result. Wilson continues, “It seems the ape, Anonymous, wants to take the princess on another date to ‘make up’ for the previous date.” The prince begins slamming his hooves against the marble tile in frantic tantrum, like that of a child being denied candy.

“How dare that ape even consider the option!” he bellows as Wilson cowers into a corner. Blueblood snorts out of frustration, only to realize how brutish it seems. Taking a deep breath, the prince tries his best to remain cool.

“I d-do have information pertaining to their next date, sire,” Wilson stammers, still refusing to make eye contact. “He has invited her over for dinner at his humble abode tomorrow evening.”

Blueblood trots over to his window and looks down on the city below. All the land below is rightfully his, not some strange creature’s. If it meant that the prince had to resort to trickery and deception, so be it! With a devious smirk, Blueblood turns back to Wilson and chuckles.

“Auntie Celestia will go to that dinner. But I will ensure that it is the last one she has with that human!”

With a sweaty brow and an aching wrist, you lift the brush from the kitchen tile and look at the reflection of a weary man staring back at you. You smile at him, commemorating a job well done after six long hours of scrubbing and cleaning the house from top to bottom. Everything was almost done, and in good time too: Celestia was going to be here in a hour. Wiping the sweat from your forehead, you drop the brush in the bucket and head towards the basement to dump it.

Dumping the bucket into the sink, you can’t help but feel an itch of some sort at the back of your neck, like you’re forgetting something...

The bucket falls from your grasp, splashing water everywhere. You forgot the main reason Celestia was coming over: dinner. Sprinting up the stairs and into the kitchen, you throw open the fridge in hopes of finding something to prepare. All it holds is a bottle of mustard and some cans of cider.

“The diet of a bachelor,” you mutter to yourself. Slamming the door shut, you begin scavenging through the cabinets for anything. Angel hair, linguine, rotini, farfalle; why do you have so much pasta in your house?! Slamming the cabinet door shut, you look around the kitchen. You didn’t even know what Celestia liked to eat, to be honest. Every time you went out with her, it was something different: squash soup, cobb salad, spinach quiche, delectable cakes; all things that you had nothing for or experience making. Rubbing the back of your head, you run to the front door and throw on your jacket.

The cold winter wind whips against your face as you exit the house, making you shiver like a madman. Heading down the main path, you enter the market district of Canterlot. Murmurs and whispers begin to fill the air, much like yesterday morning. Hanging your head, you try your best to ignore them as you venture to a stall willing to serve you.

“Anon!” Lifting your head, you watch as Twilight Sparkle gallops down the cobblestone path towards you, concern plastered across her face. “Thank goodness. I was worried yesterday when the guards whisked you away. What happened?” You take a couple of minutes to explain the event of yesterday as Twilight resists the urge to laugh at your expense. Letting out a heavy sigh, you look around at the shops and stalls.

“...and now I’m stuck here in the middle of the market district, trying to figure out what Celestia will eat for dinner. I’m not a chef, but I have to figure something out.”

“Maybe I can assist you?” A stallion in a stand nearby beckons you, a sinister smile stretched across his face. “I know exactly what the princesses likes. They have their servants buy goods from me all the time.” Twilight eyes the stallion suspiciously.

“The princesses have their own stoc—”

“If I’m not mistaken, they have some new spell books over at Barns and Neighbles,” he interjects, pointing towards a stall down the street with his hoof. Twilight’s eyes widen, a spark evident in them. In a flash, she gallops down the road, leaving you with the stall owner.

“I have just the thing you’ll need,” he says, brushing his cerulean mane to the side as he digs into his icebox.

Lifting the bottle with her magical aura, Celestia dabs a bit of perfume onto her coat and takes another look in the mirror. Hopefully this night will go well for Anonymous. The poor thing was so concerned about making sure her second date would go perfect. Flicking her hair back, she stands at the mirror, practicing her smile.

“Good evening.” She shakes her head, disappointed in herself. “...No no, that sounds too formal. How are you doing tonight?”

“I’m doing fine, thank you for asking.” Celestia nearly jumps out of her skin before turning to her bedroom door. Luna stands in the doorway, a mischievous smile stretched across her lips. Returning her gaze back to the mirror, Celestia lets out an annoyed sigh.

“What’ve I told you about knocking, sister?” Luna chuckles, placing a hoof over her muzzle in hopes of muffling the sound. Celestia rolls her eyes and continues to apply her cosmetics. Luna leans in next to Celestia’s ear and brings her voice to a whisper.

“So, you’re having dinner at Anon’s home? I assume you’ll be staying for coffee as well?” Luna mocks. Celestia’s cheeks grow a dark shade of red as she spills more perfume on herself from shock.

“N-no! I would never do such a thing so early in a relationship!” She turns her head away in embarrassment. Luna leans in closer, her smirk growing wider.

“So you do have it planned for the near future?” she mocks. Celestia lifts her blush and swats it at her sister, trying to fend off the mare. Luna giggles as she dodges the swings, making sure to blow raspberries at her sister. Before she knows it, Celestia begins laughing along with Luna, breaking into a giggling fit. The two mares hit the ground, rolling around and hanging onto their sides. Once the air has finally returned to their lungs, they stand clear their throats.

“As you were saying…”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Luna looks down at the ground before returning her gaze back to her sister. “Sister, I want you to know that I’m happy for you. I truly am. But please be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt.” Celestia lips curl into a meek smile as she wraps a foreleg around her sister.

“Luna, don’t worry. I know Anon will not do anything to hurt me… at least intentionally.” Luna tries her best to suppress a laugh, but her face show clear signs of struggle. Celestia gives her a deadpan stare before continuing. “Now I think the question we should be asking is: when are you going to find somepony?”

Luna’s cheeks turn a rosy shade as she directs her attention away from her sister.

“When you and Anon get married,” she says with a hint of sarcasm. Celestia takes her seat at the mirror and chuckles as she continues applying her make up.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

Author's Note

I'm back and ready to write again. Until I die again.

Chapter 5: "The Durian"

As soon as you enter the house, you drop the bags on kitchen counter and crane your neck towards the clock on the wall. Celestia is going to be here in forty-five minutes, but knowing her, she’d be ten minutes early. Digging through the bags, you grab the ingredients and place them on the counter. A bunch of spinach, two bushels of almonds, an assortment of berries, and the most important part: the secret ingredient.

The salespony said it’s Celestia’s favorite fruit and that she eats it all the time, so adding it to a nice salad would be perfect. Something is off about this “secret ingredient”, however. The smell is horrid, almost to the point where you’re considering shoving garlic up your nose. Just looking at the paper wrapping that holds it makes your stomach queasy. But if it’s something that Celestia loves to eat, who are you to deny her?

Grabbing a cutting board, you open the door and hesitate. This never ends well, but it has to be done. Grabbing a carving knife from the drawer, you slowly place it down on the counter. Goosebumps cover your skin at the thought of what happened last time you used this knife. Poor Mr. Mittens…

You move over to the sink and run the tap; washing the parts of the salad was important to get rid of the junk that accumulated over it. Dripping a bit of soap on your hands, you lather the ingredients before dipping them under the water. Something’s off, however. The water is leaving a tingling sensatio—

“Ow!” you yelp, wrenching your hands away from sink. Every time! No matter how long you’ve been here, you always forget that the faucets are backwards in Equestria. Right is hot and left is cold. Running to the freezer, you swing it open and dip your hands into the small bucket of ice inside. The cold rushes over your hands, relieving the burning sensation. You stand there for a couple of minutes until the cold begins to hurt.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you mutter to yourself. As you pull your hands out, the bucket follows them. You stare at it for a moment, trying figure out what is going on. Then you remember: your hands were wet. Looking around the room, you try to find something to get you out of this trap. Maybe if you tap it against something hard…

With a quick swing, you smack the bucket against the kitchen counter, only to find pain surging throughout your arms. What was that trick to get a tongue that’s stuck to a frozen pole?

Oh yeah! Warm water! Moving over to the sink, you look down at it as the frostbite slowly develops on your hands. There’s only one problem: there’s no way to grab the handles. Leaning over the sink, you grab a handle with your teeth and let the hot water escape the spout. Carefully, you make your way to the second handle, making sure not to get caught in the stream of liquid pain. The cold water tap turns fine, bringing the water to a suitable temperature.

You lift your arms up and put the bucket in the sink. The water begins to fill the bucket rapidly. The feeling slowly comes back to your hands as you pull them out of the bucket and rub them together for warmth. With a distraught sigh, you turn back to the ingredients and wash them, making sure that they’re squeaky clean.

Placing the spinach on the cutting board, you grab the knife and stare it down.

“Look. You don’t like me and I don’t like you. But just this once, can we work together?” The knife, obviously, doesn’t respond back. Covering your mouth, you tilt it back and forth and whispering, “Sure thing, Anon!”

Holding the spinach with one hand, you slowly dig the blade into the vegetable, making sure your hand is clear from any damage that it may receive. Sure and steady, you successfully chop the spinach up and place it into a bowl. Added with a couple handfuls of berries and almonds, the dish is really coming together.

Looking over at the wrapping across the counter, you feel your stomach pull a backflip. Just the thought of its stench makes you retch. It was like someone took a rotting corpse and threw it into a pile of manure. As much as you detest the thing, you still had to add it to the dish for Celestia’s sake.

With a weary hand you grab the atrocious fruit and begin to unwrap it. The smell seeps into your nostrils, making your stomach churn. The name of this monstrosity?

The durian.

Just the name sounded disgusting, but the contents were a hundred times worse. Upon stabbing your knife into the center, the smell intensifies. You clip a clothespin on your nose to resist the smell, but it’s no use; it still seeps through, somehow. Grabbing the edges, you split the fruit into two, revealing the yogurt-like “meat” inside. Hands shaking, you scoop out the contents and dump them into the bowl.

Your stomach can’t take it any more. The texture, the smell, just the thought of this atrocity makes your stomach bubble. No matter how hard you try, you can’t hold it any more. A spray of vomit erupts from your mouth, layering the salad, the salad you so tirelessly took the time to get ready. Grabbing a napkin, you wipe your mouth and look into the bowl, realizing what you’ve done. That, and the added aroma of vomit and durian, makes your stomach churn once more.

You rush to the sink and let your stomach empty its contents. After a good minute or two, you finally feel better. That is, until the knock on the front door echoes throughout the kitchen. Looking up at the clock, you check the time. Celestia is ten minutes early. Running to the door, you place your eye against the peephole. Sure enough, she’s right at the door, wearing a light jacket. Cracking a forced smile, you open the door.

“Hi Celly!” She gives you a suspicious glance before putting on an uncomfortable smile.

“Good eveni—”

“Please! Come inside and take a seat!” you exclaim, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and practically dragging her inside. You point to the couch in the living room and chuckle. “I’m just finishing up dinner!”

Celestia muzzle lifts into the air, her nose taking in the air around her.

“Anon, do you smell… smoke?” Your heart sinks down to your feet. With the speed of Kenyans, you sprint to kitchen to find a thick cloud of smoke emitting from the salad bowl. Both you and Celestia stare at it in awe.

"How?!” you exclaim, looking at the princess in disbelief. “Seriously? How does this even happen?!” Celestia shrugs as you grab the bowl and immediately drop it. The thing is shearing hot. As the bowl crashes down on the tile, its contents follow the shards of ceramic across the floor. Celestia begins to giggle as you scramble over to the sink and grab the bucket now filled with melted ice water. You splash it all over the kitchen, putting out the bits of fire around the room. Celestia helps out by extinguishing cinders with her magic, eventually clearing the room of any flames.

“Thanks,” you mutter, grabbing a broom and dustpan. Even after all the scrubbing from earlier today, the room looked like a warzone. Hanging your head, you sweep up the ashes and bits of ceramic. Celestia helps you by holding the dustpan as you clear the ground. Luckily, you were prepared for this. Grabbing the bag, you dig out a loaf of bread, some hay, daffodils, and some feta cheese.

“I hope you don’t mind sandwiches,” you mumble, a little disheartened. Celestia smiles and pecks you on the cheek before grabbing a plate from the dish rack.

“Of course I don’t.”

The patio is probably your most favorite spot when home. This comfy hammock, beautiful mare, warm blanket, sandwiches, and starry night sky couldn’t have lifted your spirits any more. Celestia giggles as you tell her about your day.

“It’s so like you, Anon. How could you forget to make dinner? It was the whole point of the date!”

“I know that,” you say, rolling your eyes. “I just spaced out while I was cleaning is all. I’m still upset that I couldn’t salvage your favorite dish, though.” Celestia raises her eyebrow as you let out an exasperated sigh.

“I never told you my favorite food. How did you find out?” You smile and shrug.

“The salespony at the market told me you love spinach salad with fruits, especially durian.” You resist the urge to throw up from the thought of the smell as Celestia sits up.

“Anon,” she starts with a stern face, “I detest durians, and spinach for that matter.” Looking over at her, you can’t help but smile.

“So I guess that spontaneous fire was lucky, huh?” you joke, laughing wholeheartedly. Celestia begins to chuckle, eventually breaking into a giggle fit. The two of you laugh for what seems like hours before wiping the tears from your eyes. You can’t help but notice how Celestia’s mane shines in the moonlight, giving it a radiant glow. Her eyes glisten as they meet with yours.

Celestia inches closer, her hot breath pressing against your face. Her eyes close slowly as her lips pucker. You bring your lips to her’s and lightly press against them, taking in the smell of her perfume which smells oddly similar to a field of flowers. Her breathing growing heavier as you get closer and closer. As your lips touch, a spark ignites as time comes to a stand still. For what feels like an eternity, you lock lips with the mare until she breaks free. Celestia nuzzles your neck before closing her eyes and falling asleep on your chest.

“I guess tonight makes up for the last date,” you mutter to yourself before passing out.

Author's Note

Interesting story. Tell it to Reader's Digest. I need to stop playing Megadeth so much.

Chapter 6: "Double the Fun."

Wilson sprints down the hallway, avoiding maids, butlers, and guards along the way. Sweat pours down his face as he rounds the corner, getting into his eyes and somewhat blocking his view. But that didn’t matter. What matters is getting to his master and giving him the news. Wilson comes to a halt as he approaches the giant oak-finished doors, staring at them with fearful eyes. With a light hoof, he knocks at the door.

“Come in.” Blueblood’s voice sounds blunt, cold even. Wilson pushes the door ajar, slowly popping his head in through the crack. Blueblood sits at his desk, looking at himself in the mirror. His face holds a sour look as his eyes meet Wilson’s through the mirror.

“Good morning, sire,” Wilson whispers, his legs shaking madly. “How are you—”

“Wilson, you have a reason for coming here. What is it?” Wilson swallows his fear and enters the room, closing the door behind him. Blueblood’s eyes remain on Wilson through the mirror, his expression unchanged. Wilson’s eyes dart around the room, not once meeting Blueblood’s gaze.

“I-it seems the s-s-second date went smoothly on the human’s part,” Wilson stutters. Blueblood steps down from his seat and walks over to the window. Down below, he watches as ponies come and go from the castle grounds. He lets out a heavy sigh before turning back to Wilson.

“Wilson, do you know why I am trying so hard to prevent this relationship between my aunt and that hairless monkey?” Wilson looks down at the floor, trying to figure out whether this is a trick or not.

“Because you want the king’s throne?” Blueblood shakes his head slowly, confusing Wilson.

“In a way, yes. But it’s not only for status.” Blueblood turns back to the window, watching two guards deny a pony access into the castle. The pony tries his hardest to convince the guards with no prevail. “I may not show it, but I care for this land, Wilson. Many of these ponies will stop at nothing to be part of royalty. Take that mare from the Gala for example. She not only had an interest in me for my good looks and charm, but because I was a prince.”

Wilson lifts his head and stares at Blueblood. His face is sincere, concerned almost. If Wilson remembered correctly, Blueblood was extra snooty that night, giving the mare the hardest time of her life and making sure she would never come back again.

“What are you trying to say, sire?” Blueblood shakes his head and walks up to Wilson whose gaze returns to the floor.

“I know what that human is up to. He’s using my aunt, just like all the stallions before him. I, for one, do not want that to happen. That’s why I’ve been so concerned with tearing them apart. My aunt is too infatuated with his devilish charm to see through him, so I must stop at nothing to prevent him from becoming king before it’s too late.” Wilson looks up from the floor to see a single tear roll from Blueblood’s eye. This was the first time he has ever seen the prince shed a tear.

“I never knew you were so concerned over this, sire.” Wilson puffs up his tiny chest, sheer determination spread across his face. “I will stop at nothing to ensure that we save Equestria from total damnation!”

Blueblood smiles. Not one of his sinister, menical grins, but a genuine smile as he walks over to Wilson. Placing a hoof on Wilson’s shoulder, Blueblood nods.

“Then I have something you must do.”

“Well, it could have gone worse, I suppose.” Twilight grabs another book from the rack with her magic aura, making sure to neatly place it on the shelf. Taking one for yourself, you look over the cover and place it accordingly. It seems to be another quiet day at the library.

“Yeah, but it felt like another messed up date in my opinion. I wish something would go right for once.” You put on a scowl as you grab the next book and look at the cover. Twilight gives a silent giggle before following your example.

“Anon, as long as Princess Celestia is happy in the end, I don’t think it really matters how the date went. All that matters is that she had a good time in the end.” Her smile disappears as she stares at the cover of a book. “It’d be nice to find a stallion who cared as much as you,” she whispers to herself.

“What was that?” you ask. A blush ravages her face as she throws the book onto a shelf.

“Nothing! Just thinking out loud.” The library breaks into an awkward silence as you both continue your work. Looking around, you notice that it’s unusually empty today. Most of the time, the place has at least one or two ponies studying. Placing the last book on the shelf, you turn to Twilight and shrug.

“I guess that’s it for the day,” you say. Twilight places a hoof on her chin and scans the library once more before smiling.

“Yes, it would seem so. How about we go to lunch early? My treat.” She nudges you in the side with her foreleg and gives you a wink. Lunch sounds good right about now. You couldn’t even eat anything this morning, what with being upset about the night before. With a single nod, you both close up the library and hang the Out to Lunch sign up on front door. The ponies around seem to have calmed down about the whole newspaper article and return to their usual happy demeanor. Even Roseluck, who was usually snooty and stuck-up, is outward and kind today.

“Where do you want to eat, Anon?” Twilight asks, eyeing the nearby restaurants.

“How about Cafe Z?” You normally go there with Celestia for tea and cookies, but they also have some nice lunch entrees. Twilight nods and you both venture to the small building. The place is crowded with ponies like no other. It’s only natural: ever since you came here with Celestia, the popularity of the place skyrocketed. Standing at the doorway, you smile at the hostess.

“Ah, Anon! It’s been a while since you’ve come around here. Do you want your usual seat?” the mare asks, pointing at the table by the window. She looks at Twilight and raises an eyebrow. “Is this your… date?”

“Nonono!” you blurt, shaking your head violently. “She’s just a friend!” The hostess giggles, stepping down from her podium.

“I’m just poking fun, Anon. Don’t take it so seriously.” She grabs two menus and begins heading towards the table. “I’ll take you to your table.” Scratching the back of your head, you force a laugh and follow the mare along with Twilight. The last thing you want is ponies thinking you’re cheating on Celestia with her personal protege. Once you sit down at your table, you open the menu as the hostess places two glasses of water down. Taking a sip of the water, you look up at Twilight who now has a serious look on her face.

“Anon, have you thought about marrying Princess Celestia?” Without hesitation, you spray Twilight with a fair amount of water, covering her entire face. You didn’t mean to do it; the sudden question just surprised you. Grabbing the napkins on the table, you attempt dry her off. Her horn gives off a magenta aura as she grabs the napkins from your grasp. Taking your seat, you catch sight of ponies staring at you, whispering amongst themselves.

“Sorry, about that,” you murmur, covering your face in embarrassment. “Where did that question come from out of the blue like that?” Twilight finishes cleaning herself off as you pull your face from out of your hands.

“Well, I’m just curious is all. She seems pretty serious about this relationship and I was just wondering whether you felt the same.” Now that you think about it, you never considered marriage. To be married to a princess… Definitely not something you would expect back home on Earth. Leaning back in your chair, you look at the ceiling.

“To be honest, I haven’t really considered it.” Thinking about it now, it would be nice. Waking up in the morning in a giant castle next to someone so selfless and caring; the ideal marriage candidate. A stupid grin cracks on your face as you think about waking up and making breakfast with your newly wedded bride, taking a walk through the castle garden, and many other simple activities. You don’t notice the two guards who stand behind you, chuckling at your stupid looking expression. Opening your eyes, you notice the two and jump, slamming your thighs against the table and sending everything on it to the ground.

Everything stops mid-fall, a familiar magenta aura around them. They return to their places on the table as Twilight shoots you a glare, her horn glowing brightly. Cocking a crooked smirk, you mutter, “Sorry,” before turning to the guards. One gives you a scroll marked with a royal seal.

“Princess Celestia sent us to deliver this to you. Have a nice day,” one of the guards states before leaving. Opening the scroll, you read over it’s contents and look up at Twilight.

“Who’s Prince Blueblood?” Twilight’s face scrunches at the mention of the name.

“He’s Princess Celestia’s stuck-up nephew. Why do you ask?”

“Because he’s inviting me and Celestia on a double date.”

Author's Note

I'm aware of the incorrect usage on the last line. Remember that it is dialogue.

Also, I've been hooked on Phoenix Wright: Dual Destinies, so that may affect my writing for a bit, but not much. I keep looking at the clock when in bed and realizing it's four in the morning. I've lost control of my life

Chapter 7: "Confrontation."

Chapter 7: "Confrontation."

Looking up at the clock, you nervously check the time. It’s already four thirty: thirty minutes left until dinner. Staring into the mirror, you check yourself once more. Everything seems fine. Dress shirt tucked in, suit jacket button properly, underwear on the outsid—

“Darn it,” you mutter under your breath. Grabbing the pair of tidy-whities, you pull them down and lift your leg up to remove them. The elastic catches the tip of your shoe, causing you to lose balance as you attempt to retract it. Falling on your butt, you let out an annoyed sigh and take off the undies and throw them into the clothes hamper in your closet.

You can’t help it. You’re just so nervous. If what Twilight said about Blueblood was true, than this guy was going to be judging your every move, your every twitch. The last thing you want is to do is mess this night up. Grabbing a handkerchief, you place it in your jacket pocket and make your way downstairs to the foyer.

Might as well head to the castle and pick up Celly, you think to yourself. Closing the door behind you, you begin your venture to the Canterlot castle, enjoying the strange stares from passersby ponies. It’s not every day you get to wear a fancy suit and strut down the street.

“Hello, Anon!” a voice rings out in the street, stopping you. Down the road, Celestia trots towards you with a stark smile, accompanied by two royal guards. Waving to the mare, you meet up with her and give her a grin. The little bow on her head is a nice touch to her elegant red dress.

“Evening Celly.” You bend slightly to kiss her on the cheek. She blushes as she returns the gesture. “I was just on my way to pick you up.”

“I figured I could make your life a little easier by meeting you halfway.” There seems to be a sense of sarcasm in her voice, but you can’t tell why she’d be sarcastic. Shrugging it off, you follow her and her guards towards the small restaurant labeled “Chez de le Cheval”. A large line wraps around the building; this place must be really popular. As you approach the entrance, Celestia steps forward and nods to the host.

“Good evening. We’re have reservations under ‘Blueblood’.” The host smiles, shaking his head.

“As if Her Majesty needs reservation to dine here,” he says in a thick accent. “But we are most grateful that you would think ahead to prevent other ponies from being knocked out of their seats. I shall take you to your table.”

Entering the building, you immediately begin hating the place. Ponies at their tables glance at you from the corner of their eyes, judgmental looks plastered across their faces. Along with the fancy table settings, red carpeting, expensive chandeliers, and small portions of food, you can’t help but feel out of place. The host guides you and Celestia to a staircase, guarded by two large stallions in sunglasses and tuxedos. With a head flick from the host, the two stallions move aside and allow you all to head up stairs.

It leads to a large balcony that overlooks the main dining room, a single table sitting in the middle. The two royal guards follow you and Celestia up the staircase and stand on opposite sides of the door. Grabbing Celestia’s chair, you pull it out to seat her like the gentleman you are.

“Thank you,” she coos, sitting down on the seat. Somehow you didn’t mess tha—

Spoke too soon. Your foot catches the corner of the a tablecloth, causing you to lose balance. Catapulting forward, you stop in mid-air, your face mere inches from the floor. Something lifts you back up back on your feet and even dusts off your jacket. Celestia’s horn glows with a light gold aura, a smile pursing her lips.

“Thanks,” you mutter as you take your seat. Celestia merely nods as you look around the balcony. “Is your nephew here yet?” Celestia shakes her head.

“He’s known to be fashionably late,” she says in an annoyed tone. She holds her tongue for a moment to take a look at you. “This is the first time I’ve actually seen you in a suit. I must say, it’s a good look for you.”

“Y-you too,” you mutter. Darn it, that’s the second time you’ve gone and said that! Celestia chuckles as you awkwardly scratch the back of your head. Glancing off the balcony, you notice two ponies that stick out like sore thumbs. A stallion with long blonde hair trots down the red carpet, sporting a rather expensive looking white suit. This has got to be Blueblood; just the air around him screams “stuck up”.

“Is that your nephew?” you ask Celestia. She looks over the guardrail and nods.

“Yes, that is. But, I wonder who his date is?” Following Blueblood is what appears to be a mare, but something is off. “She” looks more like a “he.” And her cerulean mane seems oddly familiar as well.

"...Celestia, is your nephew gay?"

"Well, that would explain why he treated Rarity so callously..."

Blueblood makes his way up the staircase, a cheesy smile protruding from his face. “Auntie! Such a wonderful evening to see you!”

“We live in the same castle and see each other everyday,” Celestia says under her breath. Blueblood turns to you, his happy expression almost immediately disappearing.

“And you must be Anon.” As you stand up and extend your hand out for a shake, he looks at it in utter disgust. “Yes, well, let’s order, shall we?” He takes his seat without even grabbing your hand. This double date is off to great start.

“Ahem!” The mare—or stallion—clears her throat, trying to grab Blueblood’s attention. “Are you going to introduce me?” Her voice sounds high-pitched, but almost as if it’s being forced. Blueblood shoots her a hot glare, gritting his teeth. The mare, not showing the slightest bit of fear, taps her hoof impatiently on floor. “I did not get all dressed up and pretty for nothing!”

Blueblood’s eyelid begins to twitch as he turns back to you, forcing a smile. “Everypony, this is Wilma.” The ‘mare’ bows before you and Celestia and then takes her seat along with Blueblood. Grabbing a menu, you crack it open and begin surveying the options available. Your jaw nearly drops: the prices are ridiculous! They even charge you fifteen bits for a glass of water! You gulp as you reach for your coin purse in your pocket, checking to see if you’ll have enough money.

“Don’t worry about it, Anon,” Celestia whispers, “Blueblood already told me that he was paying.” Relieved, you put the sack back into your pocket and scan the menu once more. Just as you decide what you want, the waiter comes to your table.

“Good evening. My name is Jacque and I will be your waiter tonight. What will you all be ordering tonight?” he asks, eyeing you first.

“Spaghetti and veggieballs in tomato sauce with a glass of water, please.” The waiter furrows his brow, pointing at the menu with his hoof.

“Monsieur, you do realize that is a foal’s meal, non?” Shrugging, you nod your head. Everything in the menu is in too fancy and, to be frank, doesn’t look all that appealing. Jacque shakes his head and writes the request and goes around the table.

“I will have a piece of red velvet cake and a glass of soy milk, please,” Celestia says with a chipper smile.

“A garden salad and an appletini, easy on the vermouth and heavy on the apple cider,” Wilma requests. You withhold a snicker at the girly drink as Blueblood rolls his eyes.

“I’ll take the Butternut Squash and Pear Ravioli with Rosemary Sauce and a side of bleu cheese.” The waiter nods before bowing and taking off towards the staircase. Celestia clears her throat, eyeing Wilma.

“I have to take care of some business in the little filly’s room. Wilma, come along, will you?” Wilma’s eyes widen as she looks around the room, trying to think of something.

“I-I… um, I don’t… nee—”

“Wilma, go with her,” Blueblood snaps.

Celestia grabs her by her collar using her magic and drags the now terrified looking Wilma to the staircase, leaving you alone with Blueblood. He stares at his hooves, inspecting every inch. Maybe it would be best if you break the ice.

“So, Wilma seems like a nice… girl.” Why did you have to pause on girl?! Blueblood looks up from his hoof with a sinister glare. You can’t help but feel the tension in the air as his eyes dig deeper into your very soul. But, you can’t look away.

“So you want her as well?” You tilt your head like a confused dog.

“What?”

Don’t play stupid with me, ape.” That was uncalled for. “I know what your plan is.” He leans across the table, dragging you over it as well with his magic. “Don’t think for a second I’m not onto you.” Shaking your head, you stare at him in bewilderment.

“What?”

Blueblood scoffs, growing angrier by the second. “You’re only dating my aunt because you want to become king!” His magical grip loosens, dropping you onto the table. Dropping down from the table, you stand up, shaking your head.

“Do you not know how your own system works?” Blueblood’s head tilts back in confusion.

“O-of course I do!” he replies, his eyes not meeting yours. This one’s a very bad liar.

“Then you would know that I would not become a king since I don’t have a drop of royal blood. A man who marries a princess cannot become king unless he is part of a royal family.” Sitting back in your seat, you crack a grin. “I’m just some peasant, if you will.”

Blueblood’s face screams uncertainty. He look back and forth between you and the staircase, as if someone had just murdered his mother. His face changes from a confused expression to an angry one at the snap of a finger.

“Then what reason do you have for dating my aunt?” Crossing your arms, you look up at the ceiling.

“Why? Well, that’s an easy one. Because I genuinely love her.” Blueblood’s angry expression disappears as you continue. “I’ve been thinking for these past few days. Twilight asked me if I would ever marry her and it flipped a switch in my head. I don’t care about Celestia’s position. I don’t care about her wealth. If those things mattered to me, I would find them on my own; not take them from someone else. The reason I love her for who she is: a kind and selfless being who I would have no objections to spending the rest of my life with.”

Blueblood stares at you for a moment, not uttering a single word. With a simple nod, he shifts in his seat and smiles.

“To think, here I thought you were just some run-of-the-mill monkey.”

Celestia returns to the table with Wilma shortly after, baring a cheshire cat’s grin as she takes her seat. Wilma, on the other hand, wears a look of complete horror, almost as if ‘she’ had seen a ghost. The rest of the night goes smoothly, not counting the runaway veggieball that caused three ponies below the balcony to sustain some minor injuries. After paying the bill, Blueblood pulls you aside to talk.

“We got off on the wrong hoof,” he says, extending his hoof for a shake. “I’m sorry for the outburst and give you my blessing for your future with my aunt.” With a cocksure grin, you grab his hoof and shake it, which he quickly wipes with his handkerchief. “Come along, Wils— Wilma, we must be getting you home.”

Wilma, barely able to stand from the five appletinis ‘she’ had, turns to Blueblood with a crooked smile. “Tell me I’m pretty first.” Blueblood rolls his eyes and drags Wilma by the collar, exiting the restaurant. As you make your way out, Celestia throws you a playful look.

“So did my nephew give you any trouble?” With a subtle chuckle, you shake your head.

“No, he’s actually a nice stallion once you get to know him.” Bending down, you give her a peck on the lips. “I wouldn’t mind going another double date with him and Wilma.”

“Something tells me that we won’t be seeing Wilma any more.” She giggles for a moment before letting out a relieved sigh. “Well, I had a great time. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Celestia spreads her wings and takes off into the night sky, her guards following close behind. You watch her disappear into the night sky before heading home. Thankfully, it’s a nice night out. As you enter your home and take off your jacket, you collapse on the couch and close your eyes.

“One day, I’ll tell her how much she means to me. Until then, I’ll enjoy the ride.”

Author's Note

HOLY DIVER. YOU'VE BEEN DOWN TOO LONG IN THE MIDNIGHT SEA.

Chapter 8: "Festivals and Wedding Proposals."

“Hey, Twilight? You got a second?”

Twilight looks to you with a concerned expression, placing a book that she was ready to organize down.

“Sure. What’s the matter, Anon?”

Grabbing a chair out from the nearby table, you take a seat. You’re going to need to sit down for this one. Folding your hands together, you take a deep breath and ready yourself.

“How does one propose in Equestria?”

Twilight, somewhat confused, tilts her head.

“Propose what?”

You can’t help but slap yourself for not wording that better. It’s obvious you have to break down everything into a literal sense for this mare.

“You know... a marriage proposal.” Twilight’s eyes widen as the word “marriage” leaves your lips. A small smile creeps onto her face, widening by the second.

“Anon, are you planning to ask Celestia for her hoof in marriage?” she asks, a hint of glee in her voice. As soon as you nod, she begins to bounce up and down before wrapping her hooves around your torso. “Oh, Anon! This is great! I always knew your feelings for Celestia were great, but marriage?! You two are going to be so happy together!”

You can’t help but smile as you bind Twilight in a hug. It’s been on your mind for a while, but now was you were certain that it was time to step it up. Twilight lets go after a moment and put a hoof to her chin.

“Marriage proposal, huh?” Without a second thought, she takes off towards the bookshelves and begins searching through the bindings. “Marriage… marriage…”

“Uh, Twilight?” Placing a hand on her withers, you stop her. “If I wanted a book’s perspective, I would have looked myself. I was hoping you knew how Celestia would want to be proposed to.” Twilight’s eyes widen, a look of disappointment bound to her face.

“Oh. There isn’t anything that I know of. I was around for a couple of the stallions that proposed to her when she was training me, but that was about it.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to be denied like those guys,” you say, shaking your head. Twilight takes a seat beside you, levitating over a piece of parchment and quill.

“Well, how do humans normally propose?” You cautiously eye the paper, knowing you’re her next research topic.

“I don’t know much about the rest of the world, but where I’m from, we usually take our significant other out on a date and then surprise when we ask for their hand in marriage.” Twilight gives you an uneasy look at the mention of “hands”. “Er, hoof in this case.”

“That oddly similar to how we do it. My brother ended up taking Cadence out for dinner and popped the question.”

“To be honest, I don’t want to be that cliche,” you say with a shrug. “I want it to be something special. Something memorable.” Twilight bites her lip, trying to think of something. It’s obvious she wants to assist you, but you don’t want her to get a brain hemorrhage over it. Her eyes widen after a moment of thought.

Twilight grabs a flyer from behind the librarian counter and levitates it over to you. A silhouette of Luna over a bright moon covers the flyer, along with a date and time.

“The Winter Solstice Festival. It’s a celebration similar to the Summer Sun Celebration, but instead we celebrate the longest night of the year, honoring Luna’s work and dedication to raising the moon. You should take Princess Celestia as a date and propose to her there! Princess Luna will be doing the ceremony, so Princess Celestia should be free. ”

A festival that Celestia won’t be too busy with? This might actually work! Tightening your fist, you stand up from your seat in triumph. You can see it now. Take Celestia out to get delicious carnival food, winning prizes for her at the game stands and, to finish the night, propose to the mare when you reach the top of the ferris wheel. It will be the perfect night!

“Um, Anon? You’re crushing my flyer.” Snapping back to the real world, you look at the piece of paper in your hand. You crack a meek smile and hand it back to her.

“I have to get the castle right away!” Slipping your shoes back on, you head towards the door. As you make your way outside, you walk about a block down before realizing how cold it is. But it didn’t matter. You had one of the most important plans of your life to put into motion!

“Luna, do you have a moment?”

Luna looks up from her read to catch her sister’s concerned expression.

“What is it, Celestia?”

Celestia nervously scratches her foreleg before speaking. “When you had that talk with Anon in the medical wing, did he happen to tell you what the human custom is for marriage proposal?”

Luna’s head snaps back in surprise. “Not that I remember. Why such a random question out of nowhere?” She closes her book, giving Celestia her full attention. Celestia’s cheeks begin to turn a light shade of pink, something Luna has not seen in years. “You can’t possibly be serious…”

Celestia’s cheeks grow a darker shade as Luna’s jaw drops. “Sister! You’ve been with Anon for only a short while. Do you really think you should be making such a rash decision so early?”

“Luna, I know it’s sudden, but I’ve never felt this way with a stallion before. Anon is sweet, noble, and the most loveable creature on this planet.” A loud screech echoes throughout the halls of the castle, making both Celestia and Luna jump. “Next to Philomena, of course,” she adds with a giggle.

Luna’s serious expression doesn’t change, however. “I sincerely consider thinking about this, sister. Remember that marriage is a sacred ceremony, binding you for life with the other participant.”

“I’m fully aware of the consequences, Luna,” Celestia retorts. “I’m more than capable to make my own decisions.” Luna lets out a defeated sigh before cracking open her book.

“I can only hope you two will live a happy, fulfilling life then. What, may I ask, is your plan?”

“Well, since you asked, I plan to ask Anon for his hoof… er, hand, at the Winter Solstice Festival.” Luna’s head whips up, her stern eyes burning into Celestia’s.

“Can’t go a single day without taking the spotlight, can you?” Celestia’s happy expression disappears in less than a second. Luna tries her best to withhold a smile, but ends up breaking into laughter. “I merely jest!”

Both mares continue to laugh as a certain stallion gallops off towards the northern tower. Sweat sliding down his brow, Wilson hurries to his master’s room with this new information. As he reaches the door, he knocks before abruptly entering anyway.

“Sire! I have new… in...for...mation?”

Wilson’s mouth gapes as his eyes lay on his master. Blueblood stands before his giant mirror, wearing a frilly dress. His face turns a solid red as he notices his servant’s unwelcomed visit.

“What have I told you about entering without permission!?” he bellows, throwing a case of makeup at Wilson. “Out! Out!”

Wilson dodges the projectiles as he exits the room, slamming the door behind him. For a moment, he can’t help but feel strange after seeing such a scene. The hall grows silent as Wilson waits for permission to re-enter the room.

“Now you may come in.” Like a guilty dog, Wilson follows his master’s command, avoiding any kind of eye contact. Blueblood follows in suit, not daring to look his servant in the eyes.

“You didn’t see anything. If I catch wind about what you saw from anypony else, I’ll have you thrown into a dungeon where no one will ever hear from you again. Understood?”

“What are you talking about?” Wilson replies smoothly. Blueblood lips curl into a smirk before nodding his head.

“Good. Now, what’s this about important information?”

“Oh, right!” Wilson had nearly forgotten. “Princess Celestia is planning to propose to the human at the Winter Solstice Festival, sire.”

Blueblood’s cool expression quickly dissipates upon hearing this. “I knew he was too good to be true to his word!”

“What do you mean, sire?” asks Wilson, utter confusion spread across his face. Blueblood comes face to face with his servant, his eye bloodshot from anger.

“He has her under some sort of spell! Aunt Celestia would never rush into something as sacred as marriage. He must have slipped her some love poison that night while we weren’t looking. Or maybe he is capable of magic and put her under a ‘Want it, Need it’ spell.”

“Or, you know, she could be cursed with a pure, unadulterated love for him?” Wilson jokes. Blueblood nods his head in agreement, not quite getting the joke. “I thought you and Anon were on good terms now since the dinner?”

Blueblood rolls his eyes in a mocking manner. “As if I’d easily be convinced by such a savage beast. I am no fool!”

Pacing back and forth, Blueblood looks up at his servant who is clearly confused.

“It matters not what happened that night. We have only one goal now: to sabotage their date at the Winter Solstice Festival!”

Author's Note

SOMEDAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU
BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU
ONE NIGHT WILL REMIND YOU
HOW WE TOUCHED
AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS

Chapter 9: "Ride of a Lifetime."

As Blueblood paces throughout his room, his mind begins to wander. Questions he thought he’d never be asking begin to fill his head.

What if Auntie Celestia does indeed love this creature?

What if this is all a misunderstanding on mypart?

How do they securely place a cap on a soft drink bottle after they’ve filled it up, yet it cracks when you first open it?

“Sire, are you ready?” Blueblood’s train of thought soon disappears as his servant enters the room.

“Almost, Wilson. I need to prepare my disguise.” Grabbing the dress and makeup from his wardrobe, Blueblood makes sure to carefully lay them on his bed. Wilson’s eyes dart between the getup and his master, a look of surprise on his face.

“What?” Blueblood snaps, angry from his servant’s response.

“Nothing, sire. I just noticed... it was the same dress from yesterday.”

“So? I’ve been getting it ready in the event that I needed to go undercover. What else would I have it for?”

Wilson’s head cocks back, clearly taken aback by the response. “Nothing, sire. I figured you had it for that reason.” Blueblood takes a moment to glare at Wilson, making sure he isn’t getting any funny ideas. Without a second thought, he grabs the dress and makes his way for the tall mirror in his room.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready as well, Wilson? I can’t have you going in your usual attire or Auntie Celestia might catch wind of our plan.” Wilson shakes his head, remembering why he had gone into Blueblood’s room in the first place.

“Well, yes, but there’s something I have to tell you.” Blueblood’s narrow eyes lay on Wilson from the mirror as he awaits the news. “The rumor of Celestia’s planned marriage proposal has spread throughout the castle. Certain… individuals have caught wind of it.”

Blueblood lifts a mascara brush up to his eyelashes, making sure to apply them carefully. “And these individuals are...?”

“Previous courters.” Blueblood jabs the brush in his eye out of shock and begins howling from the pain.

“Auntie Celestia’s ex-boyfriends?!” Wilson nods as he withholds a giggle from his master’s suffering. “And what do they plan to do?”

“I would expect they are planning the same thing as us. To sabotage the date.” At this point, Blueblood has forgotten about the pain surging throughout his eye. How dare those stallions think they can tread on his grounds! The only pony to stop this wedding would be the prince himself, not some hasbeen peasant!

“Change of plans, Wilson.” Blueblood applies some blush to his cheeks, making sure to evenly distribute them. “We must prevent these cretins from stopping the proposal. Then we will make our move once they are out of the picture. Now go and get dressed. Wilma will be hitting the streets with her girlfriend Bluebelle.”

A light flurry follows the calm wind as you make your way toward the castle grounds. Combined with the night sky you expect from Luna, this moon rising was going to beautiful. At least you didn’t forget to bring your jacket today. It’s going to be a big night and you don’t want to get sick, after all. Grabbing the scroll from inside your pocket, you read it over again.

Anonymous,

You are hereby cordially invited to attend the Winter Solstice Festival held on the Canterlot Castle Gardens to watch the rising of the longest night of the year. This invitation grants you full access to the grounds.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna

P.S. I wish to attend the festivities with you personally. Pick me up at the castle entrance at three. Don’t be late! ♥

Checking your watch, you notice it’s already ten before three. So far, so good. As you approach the gated area, two guards hold their spears in place as they check the invitations of the guests as they approach.

“Oh, this day is going to be perfect!”

A familiar voice catches you off guard, making you scan the area. As you turn around, you meet with a certain… “mare”. Her cerulean mane and pre-game breath are a dead give away.

“Hey, Wilma. Long time no see.” You look over at her accompanying guest. The air from the other mare just gives you a bad vibe. Something about her smug look gives her an uppity personality. Her mane is very long, the blond strands shine from the overhead sun. “And who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Blueblo—” The mare jabs Wilma in the side, cutting her off. “Ahem, excuse me. This is Bluebelle. Bluebelle, this is Anonymous.” Bluebelle extends her hoof out, which you, in turn, shake. A look of disgust plasters over her face as she retracts her hoof and wipes it on her dress.

“It’s… nice to meet you, Anonymous.” The way she forces the word “nice” concerns you. You can’t tell if she’s constipated or sick, but you can’t help but feel concerned, yet confused at the same time. Something about this mare is off…

“So are you here to celebrate Winter Solstice with the princess?” Wilma grins, ripping your attention from Bluebelle.

“Yes, actually. I was going to invite Celestia myself, but it looks like she beat me to the punch,” you state, showing her the scroll. A smile etches onto her face as she reads over the little note on the invitation.

“You’re a lucky stallion to have a mare like Princess Celestia.”

“You can say that again,” you say with a nod.

“Papers, please.”

You nearly jump out of your skin as the guard asks for your invitation. Handing him the scroll and your ID, you wait as he peers over then. His gaze shifts from you to the papers multiple times, scanning every bit of information.

“Sir, can you step aside, please. We just want to check something.” You can help but tilt your head in confusion, but you comply nonetheless. One guard comes from behind the gate and scans his horn over you.

“He’s clear.”

Grabbing your invitation, you enter the castle grounds and look back at the stallion, still wondering what that was all about.

“Anon!” You fall over as something tackles into you, wrapping its forelegs around you. Looking down at your torso, you notice Celestia encasing you in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you were able to make it!”

“I’m happy to be here too, Celly, but do you mind letting me stand up?” Celestia, only realizing it now, lets go of you. You wipe the dust from your pants and jacket before leaning over to give Celestia a peck on lips. She blushes at the gesture, turning her head away in a shy manner.

“Well, now that you’re here, want to head down to the festival and start having some fun?” Celestia asks.

With a nod and a skip in your step, you follow the mare towards the crowded festival grounds. Celestia seems much more playful than normal as she hops around excitedly and, to be honest, it’s quite adorable. Every time you took her out on a date, it was either casual or formal. Seeing her in this new light is quite an experience and you can’t help but follow her example.

“Anon, how about some games to kick off the festival?” Celestia asks with a chipper smile.

“Good idea. Which one should start with?”

Celestia points to one of the stalls with her hoof. “How about that one?” Standing behind the clerk is a platform containing a series of bottles stacked on top of each other. A sign hangs overhead, reading “one bit for three balls”.

“Aw! That teddy bear is adorable,” Celestia coos, looking at the stuffed animal.

Placing a bit on the counter, you crack a confident grin.

“Three balls please.”

“Papers, please.”

Blueblood hands over his invitation and ID card. The guard’s brow furrows as he looks over the ID, then back to Blueblood.

“Ma’am? Where did you fin—”

“It’s me, you nimrod.”

The stallion’s jaw drops as Blueblood’s voice courses his ears. For a moment, he can’t help but stare. “Sir, what… what are you doing?” Leaning in on the stallion, Blueblood lowers his voice down to a whisper.

“I’m on a secret mission. I must conceal myself and blend into the crowd. You mustn’t breathe a word of this to anypony.”

The guard stands there nodding his head, baffled and utterly confused, . “As you wish, sir. I assume that your guest is Wilson as well?” Blueblood nods as Wilson covers his face from the embarrassment. The guard moves aside to allow the two stallions, trying his hardest not to burst out laughing.

“Sire, was it really necessary to have me dress up as a mare? I could have used my shopkeeper disguise aga—”

Blueblood throws Wilson a glare so hot, it could heat the chilly air around them. Wilson stops speaking as Blueblood’s eyes lock onto their target: Anonymous. As the human walks over to a game stand, Wilson catches something. An older stallion runs out from behind the stand, carrying a bottle of paste in his mouth before jumping into the bushes on the side of the stall.

“Isn’t that Filthy Rich?” Wilson notes, pointing at the stallion. Blueblood switches targets, a fierce glower across his face. Stomping his hoof down in anger, Blueblood starts toward the stallion only to feel a tug on his skirt. He turns around to find Wilson holding him back.

“We mustn’t make a scene, sire. If we do, the princess will suspect something and our disguise will be useless.” The real reason Wilson doesn’t want to attract attention would be the fact that he’s a stallion in a mare’s outfit, and it’d be the last thing he’d want out in the open. Blueblood stops and thinks about it for a moment. Wilson does bring up a good point. Maybe he could have some fun instead.

“Wilson, I need you to take care of the bottles. I’ll make sure to distract those two as you do.” A sinister smile curls onto the stallion’s lips as he trots toward Anon and Celestia. “Oh, Anon~!” Anonymous, holding his three throws in hand, looks over to the “mare” in confusion.

“Oh, hi, Bluebelle. Need something?” Blueblood grabs one of the balls with his magical grip and gives Anon one of his best eye flutters. His gaze quickly changes as Celestia looks over at him, clearly confused by the sudden intrusion on her date by this familiar face. The last thing Blueblood needed was Celestia finding out who he truly was.

“Do you mind if I take a shot? I’ll be sure to make it up to you at a later game.”

“Alright, I guess,” Anon says with a shrug. Winding up his shot, Blueblood rears the ball back, looking directly at the pile of bottles. But it’s not Blueblood’s intention to hit the bottles. With as much force as he can muster, Blueblood tosses the ball directly at the bushes. A large thud echos out, followed by a grunt of pain.

“Oopsies!” Blueblood says with a chuckle. “I’m so bad at throwing. Sorry to waste your shot!” Out of the corner of his eyes, Blueblood watches as Wilson grabs the tray of glued bottles and replaces them with a stack of regular bottles. “Well, you might as well go, Anon.”

Anon grabs one of the balls, his eyes locked onto the bottles ahead of him. Lifting his leg up, Anon leans forward and releases his throw. The ball accelerates forward, narrowly missing the bottles. Grabbing his last ball, Anon puts on a look of determination as he readies himself for his next throw. Blueblood catches a glimpse of Celestia, her horn shining a bit. As Anon throws the ball, he falls over, his ball heading straight for the bottles. All three bottles fall over with little effort.

“Winner!” The clerk beckons Anon and Celestia over as Wilson rushes back to Blueblood. Grabbing the teddy bear, Anon hands it over to the princess who giggles like a filly. As Blueblood lets out a sigh of relief, a stallion throws his hoof over Blueblood’s shoulder.

“Hey, beautiful. Where’s your date? I can’t imagine a gorgeous girl like yourself is here by herself!” Blueblood gives the stallion a deadpan stare. Wilson’s eyes widen as he backs away from the two. “My name is Lucky Charm. What’s yours?”

Without uttering a single word, Blueblood jabs a hoof into the stallion’s muzzle, knocking him over. “Come, Wilma. We must continue our endeavor.” Wilson nods without hesitation, making sure to follow his master’s order. Lucky recovers after a moment of laying on the ground and rubs his jaw.

“I like ‘em feisty,” he mutters to himself as he watches the two mares make their way down the street, keeping their distance from their intended targets.

“So, how do you know that mare? Bluebelle, I mean,” Celestia questions, throwing you a playful glare.

“She was with Wilma when I was in line for the checkpoint,” you reply. Celestia’s brow furrows at the sound of that name. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just curious is all.” Celestia trots ahead of you, her tentative eyes peering at all the stalls and stands. “I’m feeling a little bit hungry. Shall we get something to eat?”

“Sure.” Following the mare, you look around at the random food stands, enjoying the smell of fresh carnival foods. Hay fries, funnel cakes, apple fritters; your mouth begins to water. A familiar scent courses your nose. Something you haven’t had in the years since you’ve arrived to Equestria.

“Fresh corndogs! Get some fresh corndogs right here!” The caller beckons you over with a hasty hoof, drawing you in. His smile is nothing short of extravagant as you approach the stand. “Ah, a character with refined tastes. And with a rather important lady friend,” he adds as Celestia takes your side.

Looking over the counter, you can’t help but drool a bit. It’s been so long since you’ve had a good corndog. “Are those made with… you know?” The stallion puts on a cheshire cat grin before shaking his head.

“No, no, good sir. It’s a corndog, made from deep fried corn cobs in a bap.” You can’t help but feel someone disappointed. It was too good be true...

“Two, if you would so kindly,” Celestia says, placing two bits on the counter. The standee pulls two corndogs from the rotisserie, places them onto a napkin, and gives them to you. Even if it isn’t made with meat, you can still enjoy a corndog, right?

“I think that’s the mayor of Manehatten, sire.”

Squinting his eyes, Blueblood looks across the alley at the corndog stand Anon has started toward. Sure enough, Mayor Bloom Berg stands there with his signature grin behind the counter. If it weren’t for that cheeky smirk, it would be pretty hard to tell if was him with that disguise. Had he not waited for the couple to turn around, Celestia would have definitely noticed.

Blueblood takes a quick look around, trying to figure something out. If the mayor was serving them something, it had to be tainted. Throwing two bits on the counter next to him, Blueblood grabs two pretzels from the clerk and gallops toward the couple, Wilson following not too far behind. At this rate, Blueblood isn’t going to make it in time. Anon’s mouth is getting closer to the corndog by the second. Tilting his head back, Blueblood throws the pretzel into the air, aiming directly for Anon’s mouth.

Or, so Blueblood thought. Off by a couple of inches, the pretzel flies into Anon’s eye, sending chunks of thick salt into his pupils. It takes a second for Anon to realize it, but once the pain settles in, he begins to scream in agony. Wilson and Blueblood quickly jump behind a different stall, making sure to stay out of sight.. The corndog falls to the ground, bursting open and revealing the contents within.

Inside are not bits of corn. Quite the contrary; they’re bits of something neon green within the bap. As they land on the ground, they sizzle and sink through the ground, dissolving the concrete below them. Wilson covers his mouth in horror as Celestia takes notice to the evil fried good. Turning around to confront the stall owner, she recoils in surprise to see he’s no longer there.

“Guards!” Celestia bellows, summoning two pegasi guards land before her. Anon takes a water bottle and flushes out his eye as Celestia commands the two to find the culprit. One guard looks over to the other uneasily as he watches the green chucks sink further down.

“Your majesty, it might be best if we head to the castle. We can’t have you in danger.”

Celestia lets out a very annoyed snort, catching the guard by surprise. “This date is very important to me. I will be fine on my own.” She looks down at Anonymous who has finished cleaning out his eyes. “I’ll will try my best to keep an eye on his well-being as well. In the meantime, I want you to find the culprit behind this and have him taken in for investigation.”

The guard, reluctant at first, nods and takes to the sky. Blueblood and Wilson breathe a sigh of relief as they take a seat down on the ground. Blueblood, remembering that he just sat in the dirt, gets up and begins freaking out. Wilson shakes his head and resumes his watch over the couple.

You can’t help but rub your eye once more. Sea salt hurts, especially when a piece gets stuck under your eyelid. Celestia grabs your hand with her magical aura and pulls it away from your face.

“Anon, you’re going to make it worse if you keep picking at it.” Your eye begins to twitch, taunting you to scratch it again.

“I know! I just can’t help it!” You attempt to fight her grip in an effort to scratch your eye once more with no prevail. Defeated, you let try your best ignore it. Looking at the one of the park clocks, you check the time.

3:49 p.m.

The sun was going to set soon. According to the flyer, Luna planned to raise the moon at four, so it’s best to get to the ferris wheel ride. Turning to Celestia, you ready yourself to ask the question.

“H-Hey, Celly?” you stutter. Celestia turns to you, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “I was j-just wondering…” You can’t help but stammer. What you’re about to do could change your life forever. And that’s only if she says “yes”! Swallowing your fear, you point up at the giant ferris wheel. “W-W-Want to go on the… the… ferris wheel?”

Celestia withholds a chuckle by putting her hoof to her mouth. Your palms are so sweaty, Eminem doesn’t have a thing on you. With a single nod of the head, Celestia heads towards the ride, still holding onto your hand with her magic. Step one was complete, but the biggest part was sure to come.

“Oh! Hello again, Anon!” Turning around, you look down to find none other than Bluebelle and Wilma, both behind you in line. “Are you going for a ride as well?”

“Yeah. I’m taking Celly for a ride.” You stop for a moment and think about what you just said. “I mean… She’s going to ride… on the ride… with me.” Wilma and Celestia break into a fit of giggles, but Bluebelle doesn’t seem the least bit amused. She beckons you with her hoof, trying to get you down to her level. As you lean forward, she drops her voice down to a whisper.

“If you so much as hurt a hair… or mist… or whatever that thing is on her head, I will rain down a fury of hatred like you’ve never seen before!”

That voice. It seems so familiar. And that glare. The hatred in those eyes. Only now do you notice it. How could you be so naive!

“Blueblo—!” Your lips unexpectedly close, only allowing muffled cries to come from your mouth. A faint glow surrounds the “mare’s” horn before she pushes you onto your cart.

“Enjoy your ride!” she says with a sinister grin. No matter how hard you try, you can’t open your mouth. It takes a moment to realize it, but you have a bigger problem.

How are you supposed to propose without talking?

Author's Note

"On a scale of one to American, how free are you tonight?"

I HAVE LEARNED THE EASIEST WAY TO PICK UP WOMEN. NOW IF ONLY THEY DIDN'T WEIGH SO MUCH!

Chapter 10: "A Kiss to Save the Day."

This is bad. Really bad. No matter how hard you try to open your mouth, your lips won’t budge. You can’t even put your finger inside your mouth. But that doesn’t stop you from trying. Pressing the tip of your index finger between your lips, you apply as much pressure as possible without breaking your teeth. Unfortunately, it slips and slides up your nostril.

Celestia turns to you, only to see you picking your nose. You both stare at each other for a moment, not uttering a word. It’s not like you can anyway. Celestia’s cheeks puff as she holds back her laughter. Slowly, you retract your finger and turn away in embarrassment.

Looking over the edge, you watch as Blueblood makes his way down the path. If it weren’t for that jerk, you wouldn’t have to worry about how you were going to propose to Celestia. But sitting here mumbling to her behind a closed mouth wasn’t going to help. And you’d only embarrass yourself further by trying to tell her what happened before you got on this wild ride.

Checking your pockets, you look for any kind of item that could help assist you in this situation. To your dismay, you can only find a pack of gum and your wallet. Defeated, you place the items back and scratch your head. There had to be some way of doing this. This was going to be the only time in your life to do it!

Wilson throws an unsettling look at Blueblood as they make their way down the path. “Sire, are you sure about this? Princess Celestia is going to find out what you did eventually and I’m certain she won’t be too enthused about it.” Blueblood, not dropping his cool demeanor, shakes his head.

“I know of the consequences, Wilma, but she will thank me in the long run. The spell I put on Anon is not just any old magic trick.” Wilson looks to his master, a hint of confusion in his face. Blueblood can’t help but laugh at his servant’s expression. “In due time, Wilma. It’ll all make sense in due time. Now come,” he says with a welcoming hoof wave. “The moon rising will begin soon.”

Pushing through crowds of ponies, the two make their way towards the ceremonial stage. Two guards stand beside Princess Luna, looking throughout the crowd for any suspicious activity. Princess Luna looks down and notices her nephew sporting his… outfit. Stepping down from the ledge, she approaches him with a half smile, worry evident in her eyes.

“Why are you wearing that?”

Blueblood, not wanting to give away his position, puts on a blush and waves a hoof. “Oh, Princess Luna, it’s nice to see you to—” Blueblood’s sentence is cut off short as Luna puts a hoof in his mouth to shut him up. Wilson turns away in fear, as Luna scans Blueblood from head to hoof.

“I don’t know why you’re wearing that, and to be honest, I don’t want to know any more, but I suggest you change and get ready for the show. This isn’t a joke, you know.” Blueblood shoots a glare at his aunt, only to receive an even hotter, more deadly stare. Turning his head away in fear, Blueblood nods, not uttering a single word.

“Ah! Prince Blueblood!” Blueblood’s heart sinks as the guard from the front gate pushes through the crowd and makes his way towards him. Dozens upon dozens of ponies curiously stare as the guard makes his way to the prince. “I understand now why you’re in disguise! We found the culprit that tried to poison Anonymous and have him in custody.”

Blueblood’s face turns a dark shade of red as the guard gives him a smile. Using his magic, Blueblood grabs the scruff of the guard’s armor and brings him up to his face. “What in Tartarus are you thinking?! I’m dressed like a mare and now everyone in this crowd knows it!” It takes a moment to sink in, but the guard sees the problem as the nearby guests break out into laughter.

“Of course you weren’t!” Blueblood snarls. “Now, you will take me to this stallion. We’ll discuss your punishment later. Come now, Wilson.” Blueblood looks over to where Wilson once stood, only to realize that the stallion is no longer there. Drooping his head, Blueblood follows the guard without his servant.

Luna stands in her spot, perplexed by the scene that just unfolded before her. “Somepony tried to assassinate Anonymous?” she whispers to herself as she looks up to the ferris wheel not to far away. “I can only hope that no more trouble is bestowed upon my sister and her significant other.” Returning to the stage, she looks at the park clock. There’s very little time to raise the moon. Princess Celestia is more than capable to take care of herself. “I have a job to do. I mustn’t worry. I’m sure both of them are fine.”

Resisting the urge to punch yourself in the mouth, you continue to struggle, trying your best to open your mouth. Celestia hasn’t said a word since you’ve both got on the ride and it was starting to get to you. Does she know of your plan? Is she going to deny your advancement in this relationship? Worry plants a seed in the back of your as Celestia looks out to the horizon, watching the sunset.

“I’ve been a part of this world for many years. I’ve set the sun myself and have watched in marvel at its beauty.” A small smile makes its way onto Celestia face as she continue to look out. “But something about this sunset makes me feel all types of emotions.” She lays her head on your shoulder, eyes still glued to the horizon. “I feel excited, yet nervous. Happy, yet worried. The only time I get these feeling is when I’m with you, Anon. No matter how long we’ve been together, I always feel like a filly, experiencing the simple joys of this world.”

For a moment, you don’t feel the urge to say anything. It doesn’t matter whether your lips are sealed or not. The fact that you’re here, at this very moment, with the one thing that brings you utter happiness, is enough to silence you. Taking your arm, you wrap it around her withers and bring her closer. She nuzzles your chest as she continues.

“We’ve been together for a long time. Many days have passed and every one of them that I’ve spent with you has been more magical than the next. I never want them to end, Anon. As selfish as it sounds, I want to spend all my days with you.”

Celestia lifts her head, a look of determination across her face. You know that look in her eyes. She has something on her mind and she wants to say it, but can’t find the words to do so, just like the first time she asked you out.

“Excuse my sudden seriousness, but it’s hard for me to say this. I’ve given countless speeches to million of ponies and creatures alike, but they were nothing like this.” Your heart sinks for a moment. There’s no way to tell what she has on her mind. Was she scared about the corndog and willing to break up just to protect you? Was she mad about the bee in the rose you sent her in your RSVP letter?

Her eyes begin to fill with tears as her lip quivers. “Anonymous, i-it’s been on my mind for a while now, but I… I think it’s time I said it…” Her voice cuts off as she chokes on her words.

You want to tell her it’s alright, that no matter what she says next, you are willing to accept it. Whether she wants to be with you or not, you are willing to take the step to make her happy. Because that is true love.

“Anon… Will you… marry me?” Your eyes widen in shock. That is not what you expected at all. Even with this spell on you, there’s not a single word that will leave your mouth. Silence rings in the air as the ride come to halt, leaving you at the peak of the ferris wheel. The sun has completely disappeared, leaving way for the moon. Celestia hangs on your response, waiting for an answer.

“Say ‘yes’ you nincompoop!” you tell yourself. Then it dawns on you once more.

You can’t say anything because your lips are sealed!

Celestia’s eyes are glossy at this point, but not a single tear has fallen from them. The look on her face breaks your heart as she slowly turns away. “I understand, Anon…”

No! There was no backing out now! You’ve come all this way with the intention of telling this mare that she is the one and only for you. If words couldn’t do the job, action would.

Placing one hand on the back of her head and the other on her muzzle, you turn her face back to you. Without hesitation, you lean in and press your lips against the mare’s. Her eyes close, finally letting her tears free. The air become lighter as your lips lock with her’s, as if a weight has been lifted from the two of you. The warm scent of lilacs passes your nose as time itself comes to a stand still. You don’t want to let go, but good things must come to end eventually.

After a long minute, you release the kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you.” You hold back the urge to scream in surprise. You’re able to talk again! But there are more important matters at hand.

Celestia, overjoyed with your response, wraps her hooves around your neck and locks you into a hug. It didn’t go the way you planned, but the end result was all that mattered. With the moon fully risen, you can hear the cheers from down below, signalling the end of the Winter Solstice ceremony. Even if the applause and whoops are intended for Luna, you can’t help but feel like they’re for you as well.

The ride kicks back in motion, bringing you back down to the ground. As you step off, a guard rushes towards you and Celestia.

“Your highness,” he blurts with a bow. “We have apprehended the stallion as you instructed. Prince Blueblood is currently questioning him as we speak.” Celestia furrows her brow, curious as to why her nephew is taking care of such a matter. You, on the other hand, can’t help but feel infuriated by the name.

“Anon, I must take care of this matter,” Celestia whispers. “We’ll discuss our future later tonight.” She gives you a peck on the cheek before taking off to follow the guard. With nothing else left planned, you wander around the festival, looking at all the stands and ponies. It’s not long before you sit at a bench, keeping to yourself.

“Mr. Anonymous?” You look up to see Wilma as she takes a seat beside you.

“Hey, Wilma. Enjoying the festival?”

“More or less, I suppose,” she mutters with a scowl. “Listen, I know that my hanging around with Prince Blueblood may make me seem like a bad guy, but hear me out for a moment.” Kicking a lone stone aside, you lean back on the bench and look up to the sky.

“I’m listening.” Wilma takes a deep breath and places a hoof on your shoulder.

“Prince Blueblood… Well, he’s an idiot. But he has a good heart, despite being a jerk.” You can’t help but snort. That’s the first time you ever heard that. “That spell he put on you, it was a test.” You raise an eyebrow as she continues. “Princess Cadence taught him that spell. Its power is to keep somepony silent until they kiss somepony they truly love. Prince Blueblood wanted to be absolutely sure that you truly loved Princess Celestia and was willing to push you to the edge to ensure that his aunt was marrying somepony she was in ‘love’ with. He was willing to deal with the repercussions for the sake of his family.”

You snap your head back in surprise. Behind that stuck-up, snooty stallion was someone who was looking out for the best in his loved ones. The anger for Blueblood you had slowly dissipated as you thought about it.

“As for the assassination, it seems that it was a misunderstanding. The corn cobs inside that corndog happened to be from a rare form of Puppis corn.” You look at Wilma with a cocked eyebrow, confused by the name. “It’s a rare type of corn, mainly used as a laxative. If it touches clay, however,” she points at the sidewalk below you, “it turns into an acid. So unless you were eating the dirt from a river before you got here, the most you would have is an all-nighter in the bathroom.”

Wilma drops down from her spot on the bench and looks towards the crowds of ponies flooding the walkways. “Mayor Bloom Berg is still being charged with a misdemeanor for smuggling in the Puppis corn and a few bags of other stuff that I’m not allowed to disclose.” Wilma cracks a smile and shakes her head. “It’s been a crazy night, but I’m just glad that you were true to your word and were able to make the princess happy in the end. I hope you aren’t upset by all this.”

Looking up to the sky once more, you break out into a wild grin.

“Quite the opposite, Wilma. I’ve never been more happy in all my life.”

Author's Note

And with that, Kissing the Sun is completed. I'd like to thank you all for joining me on this ride, even though it was a really shitty one that I made. I'm debating on whether I should do an epilogue for the wedding and such, but I'm too lazy for that shit.