Stay Pony My Friends

by Dunsparce

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2987

The Most Interesting Colt in the World visits Ponyville

He won a magic duel against Princess Celestia... with His wings.

He preformed a Sonic Rainboom... with the rocket jets He made by hoof.

He went back in time... and bucked King Sombra off the Crystal Tower.

He is The Most Interesting Colt in the World... and He's making a visit to a little town named Ponyville.

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This is a collaboration fanfic. These two authors met up in Michigan and came up with this stupid splendiferous idea.

Authors are:
FlanChan
Dunsparce

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Final Pinkie Pie joke source: WinterTwister
Final Fluttershy joke source: Sliverfish

Published 2013-08-29 01:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-29 01:30:02 UTC

Chapter Story

This is a collaboration between FlanChan and Dunsparce. Each of us wrote some of the Mane Six's scenes.

Dunsparce: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack

FlanChan: Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie

Enjoy!

The Most Interesting Colt in the World was bored with His fame and riches, so He sat down and thought what He could do to make Him not bored. He thought and thought, and He finally come to a splendid conclusion: He would visit the peasants of Ponyville, for He has heard from friends in high places that say that place can be most exciting. The Most Interesting Colt in the World jumped up from His platinum chair and wrote a note in the most beautiful cursive one had ever seen… with His back hooves.

“Dear servants,” it began, “I must inform you that I am bored, so you will find me in Ponyville, visiting the more poor of ponies in this country and blessing them with the presence of me. Take care while I am gone. Ta-ta.”

As He set the paper (which was outlined in gold) on His desk (which was made of diamond), He grabbed his saddlebag (sparkling with emeralds) and trotted off to His matter transporter (which was decorated in rubies) and transported Himself to the lowly town of Ponyville. He landed in the middle of the Market.

Though Ponyville’s market was always hectic and impossible to walk through, once the handsome stallion flashed a smile, all of the ponies dropped what they were doing and cleared a pathway for him. All of the shopkeepers at one point offered him thousands of bits to buy their product, but He graciously turned them down.

He arrived at Golden Oaks Library five minutes ahead of the time He planned to arrive there. When Twilight Sparkle, one of four alicorn princesses of Equestria, noticed his presence, she knocked on the door and asked if she could come out to see Him. He contemplated it for a moment or so, and then granted her request by opening the library door.

“Sir,” she started, “I’m so moved by your amazingness that I’ve completely forgotten my creepy incestuous lust for my brother. Please marry me.” The esteemed colt didn’t even have to say anything, because He communicated with his mind.

“So, I have to beat you in a battle of magical abilities first, is it?” Twilight repeated what He had thought. “Fair enough. Whoever grows the biggest watermelon using nothing but magic is the winner.” A crowd started to gather, and nopony questioned the fact that there was a magic contest happening between an alicorn and a pegasus.

Twilight mustered all of the power within her and called back every single relevant spell she had ever learned on the subject of growing giant watermelons, which for some reason was a lot. The ground started to rumble as a giant watermelon broke through the ground. Her horn was on fire from all of the energy being used up, but she didn’t care.

When her magic died down and she opened her eyes, she saw before her a huge watermelon the size of Ponyville’s town hall. She hoped more than anything that He wouldn’t be able to top that, because none of her Shining Armor clopfiction could hold up to His awesomeness. She looked over to the colt across from her, indicating that it was His turn, but He already knew that.

He glanced down at the ground, twitched one of His wings, and suddenly the whole of Equestria rumbled violently as a gigantic fruit the size of Canterlot emerged out of the soil. Twilight was even more horrified when she realized that not only was His watermelon bigger, but it was also pyramid shaped. Because He’s just that awesome.

“Waah, I’m sorry! I’m not worthy!” The purple alicorn princess of Equestria sobbed, throwing herself in the dirt. The Most Interesting Colt in the World flashed a smile, and Twilight’s tears suddenly stopped. Upon fully realizing her defeat, she dashed back into the library and locked her doors in shame. Then she started writing TwiColt clopfiction.

The dashing stallion, completely unfazed by the hoards of mares that began eating His giant watermelon, continued trotting around Ponyville.

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The handsome stallion soon came across a type of pony He had never seen before; a cyan colored one. She was clearing the skies of clouds and ugly things for the Most Interesting Colt in the World, and when she noticed Him, she screamed.

“Oh my gosh!” she said as she flew toward him. “You’re… you’re….!”

“Yes, I am. And you are Rainbow Dash, a pony I’ve heard much about. I hear you have many skills,” The Most Interesting Colt in the World said, raising an eyebrow.

“O-Oh, yeah!” Rainbow said, sweating. “That’s me! I got some skills that NOPONY else has got.”

The Most Interesting Colt in the World grinned mischievously. “Not even… me?” He said as he flapped His wings.

“Well… yeah! I’ve never seen anyone else ever do what I can do so fluently.” Rainbow boasted.

“So, you’re positive I can’t do what you can do? I bet I can do it better.” He laughed.

“Oh, okay!” Rainbow challenged. “Let’s see you do… THIS!”

Rainbow Dash pounced up off of the ground and flew far up into the sky. Once stopped, she aimed herself at a 45 degree angle and shot toward the ground as fast as she could, leaving behind a streak of rainbow. Right before she hit the ground, an explosion of color created a sonic boom and spread a rainbow circle across the land. It took a good twenty seconds to fade away like a ripple in a pond. Rainbow Dash came flying back to The Most Interesting Colt in the World, who surprisingly had the same exact expression He had on before the Rainboom.

“I don’t think even you can do THAT,” Rainbow boasted. He shook His head.

“Maybe not with my wings…” He trailed off. Suddenly, His saddlebag popped open. Something came out and it strapped around His body, enclosing His wings. They suddenly grew out to be rocket jets and began to make a low humming noise. Before Rainbow knew it, He blasted off. He flew through the air faster than Rainbow ever could, creating a Rainboom every three seconds. He looped around the whole entire town of Ponyville and landed right back where he started. His mane was as it was before, for wind chose to go around Him instead of messing up His excellent mane-style. Rainbow fell on the ground before Him.

“I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!!” She bowed.

The Most Interesting Colt in Equestria smiled and complimented Dash for her effort, like the amazing stallion He is. His rocket jets retreated themselves, and He headed onward to further adventures in Ponyville.

As for Rainbow Dash, she raced back home and made out with her Soarin plush for the next six hours.

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The extremely charismatic stallion soon realized that it had been a while since He had eaten anything. He didn’t actually have to eat, but every once and awhile He decides to anyway. He was just in luck, as He was approaching a gingerbread house-esque building which could only be for selling treats.

He entered the establishment, and was met with the sight of a pink mare sprawled across the floor, breathing fast and puking up blood. He moved closer, and the sick pony looked up.

“Help me! It hurts, it huuuurts!” she moaned. A swarm of doctors barged in.

“Pinkie Pie, what’s wrong?” they asked frantically. She choked on her words, as they were too horrible to say aloud. “Pinkie, why are you vomiting blood?! Did you eat something poisonous?”

“I...It’s because…” she said weakly. “It’s because I have… diabetes.” She covered her face with a hoof.

“You’re breathing irregularly… and puking blood… because you have diabetes?” a doctor inquired.

“Mm-hm.”

Nopony questioned it.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” He started. He knew her full name even though nopony said it. “Look this way.” The trembling pony did as she was told and looked into the fabulous stallion’s eyes. Suddenly the embodiment of her diabetes jumped out of her, ran away, came back again and gave everypony chocolate cake with royal icing, then set itself on fire. The newly cured mare turned to Him.

“I’m not worthy!! I Pinkie Promise that I’ll never cause trouble again ever!” The amazingly humble pegasus gave her an all knowing smile and stroked her mane. Now it wasn’t diabetes that was making Pinkie breathe irregularly.

Pinkie gave Him a million cupcakes and then sent Him off on his merry way. Pinkie then went upstairs, covered herself in Vaseline, then crawled around and pretended she was a slug for the next nine hours.

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Feeling rather stuffed from the town, He decided to take a trip to the outskirts, near the Everfree Forest. There, He found himself come across a small cottage with many animals surrounding it. Curious, He trotted over to it, and outside of the door, a yellow pegasus sat there crying, swarmed by the pity of the animals.

“Miss, why in blazes are you crying?” He asked. The mare looked up at him wearily.

“T--There was a hydra in the woods, and I can’t tame him! He’s the only animal I don’t have any information of! And he won’t listen to meeeee!” Fluttershy cried.

“Is he still around here?” He asked, looking toward the forest.

“Y-y-yes, but he won’t behave around me.”

He grew a determined face. “Come with me, and your tears will stop.”

The two ponies trotted off to the woods. Harsh stomping sounds exploded from the interior, and a ferocious growl with it occasionally. The two ponies headed toward it, for the sounds were definitely from the utterly horrifying beast known as the “hydra”.

As the approached the noises, they found it: the hydra. It was thrashing and flailing about, destroying trees and bushes. It was also scaring the animals of the forest. Fluttershy began to turn white. He wouldn’t stand for it, though. He shouted at the beast, and when it turned to him, it was surprised to see Him. His eyes were sparkling.

“Hydra-sama…” He said.

The hydra suddenly stopped. It’s heads’ eyes began to shine as three pink lines showed up on its cheeks. Its heads’ mouths all slightly popped open.

“Please don’t hurt Fluttershy-chan, hydra-sama. She only wants to treat you well and she needs research on you!” He said as a tear slowly went down his side.

“Kyuuu!” The hydra moaned with a deep, scratchy voice.

“Will you please listen to her?” He asked. The hydra’s heads nodded and it bowed down before Fluttershy. Stunned, the yellow mare turned toward Him.

“I-I… I’m not worthy! I can’t thank you enough!” she softly said, bowing over and over. “Please, though, tell me! What is your--”

However, when she looked up, He was gone. He was already off to continue his exploration around town. He saw a neat boutique on the way to Fluttershy, so He decided it would be nice to visit.

As for Fluttershy and the hydra, she took it back to her cottage and hopped on top of it. She ordered it to clean up her house, do her dishes, and tend to her animals. She then, with a black marker, drew lines on her face in an attempt to make it look like she had scales.

“I am the lizard queen!” she quietly cheered.

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The Most Interesting Colt in the World retraced His steps a bit and went back into town. The sun was blaring, but its rays decided to go around His eyes. Soon He found Himself standing in front of the aptly named Carousel Boutique. The mare running the store, an alabaster unicorn named Rarity, had sensed the stallion’s presence from a few miles away and had already turned her flirtatiousness up to eleven.

“Why good afternoon, handsome,” she greeted in the hottest voice she could muster. He was already used to being treated this way, and since he saw His awesometastic self in the mirror all the time, He was unable to fall under anypony’s charms. Rarity could tell that her ultra sensual perfume wasn’t working it’s magic on Him either. She had to change tactics. Good thing Plan B was flawless, and spared her dignity.

“Oh please, please, please, please have my foals!” She got on the ground and started kissing His hooves. “I’ll do anything!”

“Only if you can beat me in a contest,” He said calmly. “You can decide the challenge.” Rarity’s face melted upon hearing His voice for the first time.

“A...Alright…” she stammered, still jittery from her face melting, “Let’s have a dressmaking competition. No specifics on what the dress has to be.”

“Fair enough,” He said. Rarity’s hair melted off.

The two ponies trotted into Rarity’s workshop, where all of the necessary materials for dressmaking were present. She set up a curtain dividing the room and the two ponies got to work.

After four hours, both ponies were finished with their work (He only needed five minutes, but decided to let Rarity take her time). Rarity unveiled her creation first: an overly complicated dress that was probably the finest in haute couture. He was actually mildly impressed.

Then He unveiled His dress, which actually was not a dress at all. Once Rarity laid eyes on it, she could only bring herself to say one thing.

“Gaah.”

Before her stood a full suit of armor, even though she didn’t have one scrap of metal material lying around the store.

“I made it using only this sewing machine,” He stated casually, motioning towards a completely normal, if not old, sewing machine. Rarity couldn’t move. She could hardly even think.

What… what just happened…?

“If that’ll be all, I’ll be on my way, Miss Rarity.” He turned and left the establishment as Rarity’s whole body melted off. When she regained the ability to move, she went to her room to calm herself down, only to get more upset as she saw Sweetie Belle going through her secret stash of Danny Phantom fan art.

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The sun was just setting over the horizon as He took his first step onto the property of Sweet Apple Acres. The fertile soil softened itself upon His presence, and Applejack’s sexy sensor went off, alerting her of the approaching hunk of gorgeousness. It was like a bomb dropped; a bomb full of handsomeness.

The mare grabbed her hat and raced outside, only to be greeted by the greatest sight she had ever seen. She took off her hat and bowed to the amazing stallion.

“Mah, what ‘n honor it is to see you, of all ponies, coming down the road to our lil’ farm.”

“Indeed.” He began. “My psychic powers told me that there was a farm that made delicious apple cider here, and I came to check it out for myself.”

“Oh, most certainly!” Applejack said, sweating as she put on a nervous smile. “We have all kinds of cider here at Sweet Apple Acres! Please, come right in, sir!”

They walked up to the old farmhouse leisurely, the windmill creaking as it spun around. The Most Interesting Colt in the World smiled the whole way to the door, amused by the house’s exterior.

“After you, mister.”

As they went in, the whole Apple family, resting snug in the living room, gasped at the sight of Him.

“Is that really Him!?” Apple Bloom shouted.

“Yes, it is me, young Apple Bloom.”

“HE SAID MAH NAME!” She yelled. Apple Bloom then disintegrated into a pile of rainbow-colored ash because of His awesomeness. Nopony cared.

“Please, sit down, you must’ve had a long day, sir.” Applejack said. He sat down on a creaky couch, which was oddly very comfortable.

“You would be right, with challenges to the left and problems to solve to the right, it has been quite the exhausting day. You wouldn’t happen to have a nice bottle of cider right now, would you?”

“Oh, we most certainly do!” Applejack assured as she raced to the fridge. “What brand y’all want? Jack Apple’s? Budapple?”

“Thank you, miss…” He began. He then put His arm on the couch’s hoof rest and looked directly into the reader’s eyes. “...But I prefer Dos Apples.”