Spartan-1337 in Equestria

*Somewhere in the Outskirts of the Everfree forest*

The Spartan laid flat on his flat on his back while staring at his tormentor in the eyes. The sun slowly cooked the Spartan’s metallic surface as it made his voyage across the sky. It was here that 1337 thanked whoever came up with the body temperature regulation gel,because if it wasn’t for it he would probably be about 2 hours away from becoming a well cooked turkey. He raised his arm nonetheless and flipped the bird at the sun, “Fuck you and your heat sun!” After that he sat up and looked around himself while taking in the vast amount of nothingness in contrast to the thick forest behind him. It appeared that his sense of orientation was fine and as good as it had always been.

Finally he was able to check on himself and his equipment. It was no surprise to find out that his diagnostics reporting some broken ribs, That must’ve been one hell of fall for that to have happened, he thought to himself. He also found he was carrying a bubble shield, an ammo clip, and his combat knife. “The knife would’ve been great in the fight against that fucking beast, I only wish I could say the same for the ammunition clip. What the hell am I supposed to do with this damn thing? Toss the bullets at my enemies and hope it leaves a bump!?”, he sighed and looked at the sky. “This would be so much easier if I had one those AI with me, but noooo apparently I don’t show the capacities to care for one according to the UNSC.” All of the sudden his motion sensor caught some movement behind him at the same time his shields flared up into life. He was unable to move or combat as he usually did because of his injury but he would be damned if he was going without a fight. He turned and kneeled in a forced combat stance while grunting and found that the assailant was mail package. He stared at it and looked into the forest for any more movement. Then without a notice his shield flared again as a book striked the spartan on top of his head followed by another. When he turned up to see where they were coming from, the only words we was able to sputter were, “Oh, no”, as a rain of books fell upon him from the heavens indefinitely burying him alive.

A small voice came from the sky yelling, “My Bad!”, a few seconds later the sound of air and the new dot in his motion sensor told the spartan of the upcoming company. As the apparently small creature landed on the ground it said, “Hello? Is anypony here?”, 1337 decided to stay in his book fortress/burial to assess any possible danger. In front of him what seemed like a horse stood with an unfocused but worried face. It had a gray colored coat of hair and blonde mane, to make her more interesting it appeared to have wings. She appeared to have a small hat and two bags tied to her sides, but what really made the Spartan almost lose himself into laughter was the apparent tattoo it had on its posterior. The Spartan having decided that it was ridiculous to assume danger from such a small creature in the first place. He rose from the book mount while holding a heroic stance, while inside a small tear fell through his cheek because of the pain this caused him, and realized how enormously big he was compared to her. While he expected some sort of fearful or amazed reaction the horse only stood still while looking at him with an unfazed goofy smile. The pregnant silence was only broken when the horse said, “You’re big!” The revelation that this creature was able to talk didn't really strike that hard the Spartan being that he had seen some of the strange wildlife the universe had to offer. He also noted that the horse could very much be a female due to the pitch of her voice. “And you are a talking horse.”, 1337 rebutted towards the creature. “No Mister, I'm Derpy! And also Im a pegasus pony!” The now classified as pegasus pony retorted. “What are you?” Derpy asked as she trotted around him taking in every side of the humongous animal in front of her. “Glad you asked kid!, I’m one of the most powerful warriors in the universe, Spartan 1337!” Right after his glorious introduction he fell to the ground in one knee after he stopped introducing his awesomeness.

Derpy looked at the Spartan with worry and said, “Are you okay mister? Did my books hurt you like this?”

The Spartan looked towards her as he got into a more comfortable stance and replied, “Please don’t make me laugh, it would take a lot more than just some books to hurt me like this. By the way why are you carrying some many books anyway? What are you, a librarian?”

Derpy laughed, “They’re not MY books dummy, they are an order. I’m a mailmare and this books are supposed to arrive to the Ponyville bookstore.” She said as she nodded at her saddlebags filled with letters.

“So wait what you’re telling me is that you are the Postal Service? And this is your cargo?”, 1337 said as he looked on the pile of books. “You screwed up big time didn’t you?”

“Im sorry, its just that sometimes I screw up because I get distracted or something. Ponies think I’m a clutz and that I screw everything up but I always try my best. I wish I wouldn’t be so clumsy from time to time.”, Derpy sadly said as she lowered her head to the ground.

Having noticed he touched a sensitive subject, and he having known what shes been through went and placed his hand on the pony’s had. “Come on kid its not that bad, those books just need a little dusting off thats all. If it makes you feel any better I can bet I’m an even bigger clutz than you are.”, the Spartan pondered for a while and then followed, “Listen, I will tell you how I got injured but you must not tell anyone. And even if you do I’m going to deny it completely okay?”

Derpy slowly looked up and nodded towards the Spartan. During the following minutes her face changed from sorrow to surprise and finally into concern as 1337 retold the sequence of events that got him where he was now. “So you really fell from space!?” Derpy asked as she lifted herself from the ground with her wings to the exciting story. 1337 only looked at her and nodded which made the pegasus look at him with amazement. That suddenly changed when she remembered about him being hurt, “Mister you told me you’re hurt do you need a doctor? I get myself into problems a lot so I know a really good one. I can take you to him if you would like?”

The Spartan looked around the environment for one last time before sighing and realizing that was really his only option. I really can’t believe I’m asking a PONY for help. If anyone ever finds out about this they’ll give me a bigger torment than that time I told my peers about that AI that saved me from a blue covenant ape. “Yes Derpy, I would greatly appreciate your help.”

The Pegasus became unexpectedly cheerful and said, “Alright! You’re not going to regret this mister!” She said as she grabbed the Spartan from the shoulders and attempted to drag him. That idea was quickly shot down as the pegasus was only capable of moving the spartan a few inches before she said, “Wow you are really heavy mister spartan!” while wiping some sweat from her forehead. “Its the cost of being awesome kid. Don’t worry though, I can stand by myself but a little help would be great.”

After they managed to find a way in which both could move together they went on towards Ponyville. After a few meters the Spartan said, “By the way, what are you going to o about those books?” to which Derpy replied, “What books?” The Spartan made a mental note to never trust the postal service in this world, and to advise anyone about those books being there after his wounds are treated.

* Ponyville*

Twilight had just finished her grocery shopping and was on her way back to the library with her saddlebags filled to brim with various food items like apples and a carton of eggs. She could already see the treehouse when something else caught her eye. A newspaper stand displayed the frontpage with a few pictures of the night sky. The title said in big bold letters “Meteorite falls on the outskirts of Manehattan! Hundreds startled!” She looked at the paper and though, That can’t be right, she ended up being the newspaper and drew upon a conclusion. She tucked the newspaper in her saddlebags and went straight to Applejack’s apple stand. When should found it she was out of breath and sweating. “Howdy Twilight! What’s going on? Did ya forget something?”, Applejack said evidently noticing the distress in her friend. “Sugarcube is everything alright?”, Applejack pressed further after no actual response came from her breathless friend. After a few more seconds Twilight said frantically, “Applejack I need you to get the girls and meet me in the Library, its very important. I think it has to do with the explosion of yesterday. I don’t really have time to explain right now, just meet me at the library and I’ll tell you about it.” After saying that she sped towards the Library herself and leaving a very confused and concerned Applejack.