Pinkie's Problem

by Word Wizard

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Pinkie Pie
Length: 3164

After a little magical accident involving one of Rarity's vanity mirrors, Pinkie finds herself with a few...err...more parts than usual

After a magical accident involving one of Rarity's vanity mirrors, Pinkie finds herself thrown into another world of ideals and trends: the stallion's world. After recently finding a special somepony who is a stallion himself, the effects of this transformation have no end. How will she go back to being a mare? Can she learn to live as a stallion? Does she want to go back to being a mare?

This story is Pinkie's fight against pony culture upon being gender swapped. Based off a really freaking weird dream I had and wouldn't leave until I wrote it down. Enjoy.

Published 2013-07-28 22:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-31 00:36:58 UTC

The accident

The accident

The sun shone brightly over Ponyville, birds chirped and bunnies hopped. Another ordinary afternoon, another ordinary week. But not for Pinkie. She had recently meet a special somepony that matched her in randomness and enjoyed her laughs. There was a spring in her step as she left Sugar Cube corner that morning. She and Pluky Pen had scheduled to meet at the restaurant that afternoon for brinner, as they called it. Sort of like brunch but with dinner.

"Wow!" Pinkie exclaimed as she walked through the busy town, "Everypony sure is having a good time today!" Her saddlebags clinked behind her as she headed down the dirt path, looking around her.

"Hello Pinkie!" Cranky Doodle and Matilda called to the pink mare. Cranky's toupee shone in the sunlight, he and Matilda were picking out apples for dinner that evening.

"Hey Cranky!" Pinky said, running over to the donkey faster than light. "Nice to see ya!" she said, smiling widely at him.

"Yeah," Cranky said, forcing his face into a smile as well, "Nice to see you too."

"Well,I'm off," Pinkie said, starting to trot away from the couple, "I have some very important business this afternoon!" Cranky and Matilda raised their eyebrows in surprise.

"You have business?" Matilda said, turning to Pinkie, a smile forming on her face.

"Well DUH!" Pinkie opened her mouth wide, "I'm not a lazy-don't-do-anything-sedintary-pants!"

"Alright, have a good time!" Cranky said, returning to his wife.

"Thanks!" Pinkie jogged off, heading for the arranged restaurant to meet her special somepony once more. Upon arriving, she was seated by a pony with a heavy french accent. The restaurant buzzed with the activity's of other ponies, chatting, silverware clinking against bowls as soup was lifted into hungry mouths. The chandelier's shone brightly over the scene, bathing everything in an orange tinted light.

"Wow," Pinkie thought, noting the relatively drab decor in the room around her,"I'm glad I brought my party cannon!" She sat down, eagerly awaiting her friend's arrival. Just then, she remembered: He likes sitting outside.

"Hey!" she called, appearing next to a waiter, "You wouldn't happen to have any outside seats, would you" She put her face close up to the stallion, bobbing her eyes in and out as she spoke.

"Uh," the waiter said, faltering under the mares onslaught.

"Yes, step this way, madam!" the headwaiter came to the rescue, seeing the scene.

"Thanks!" Pinkie bounced out of the restaurant, leaving the young waiter to wonder what had just hit him.

"Great Celestia!" he thought in a french accent, "Why, what could go on with her around?" With that, he shrugged and continued on his duties, hoping he wasn't assigned to attend to that mare.

While all of that was going on, outside of town, Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy were helping Twilight with her magic. Spike was in Canterlot on a few special requests of princess Celestia, but Twilight had to stay home to continue her studies.

"Thanks a lot for helping me with this, girls!" Twilight smiled, looking at the white lamb in front of her.

"Uh, your sure that this is reversable...right?" Fluttershy said, her hoof in the lambs fur as she comforted it.

"Well..." Twilight started.

"It better be," Fluttershy put her face up next to Twilights, her face red with anger.

"Uh, yeah!" Twilight said, looking at her friend.

"Good," Fluttershy said, returning to her usual kind demeanor. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to little poofy here, would we?"

"Yeah yeah," Rainbow said carelessly, "We know you care about your stupid animals, but can we just get started?"

"Rainbow!" Fluttershy said, glaring up at the pegasus, "Don't be rude in front of children!" She gestured to Poofy with a hoof.

"Uh, right," Rainbow said.

"And animals are NOT stupid!" Fluttershy said, glaring at her friend. "Uh, that is if you don't mind or anything...." she returned to her usual self.

"Darling, Twilight woulden't do anything to your poor little Poofy if she didn't know it was reversable!" Rarity said, checking up on her makeup in a surprisingly large vanity mirror.

"Yeah yeah, let's get going!" Rainbow said, alighting next to Twilight, "You ready, Twi?"

"Yes," Twilight said confidently, her horn begenning to shoot a few purple sparks.

"Then lets get going!" Rainbow said, flying up into the air, she put a metal whistle into her mouth and blew. The shrill whistle blow filled the air, causing Fluttershy to put her hooves over her ears.

"NUMBER 20!" Rainbow shouted. Twilight's horn grew in power, sparks erupting from the purple energy that surrounded it. Her teeth gritted in concentration, she conjured more and more mystical energy, contorting it, twirling it, bending it like play-do to her every needs.

"Gender change spell, are you sure that's wise?" Rarity said, carefully checking on her false eyelashes. Twilight was sweating now, her eyes closed in concentration the light grew in intensity as she added to it, preparing for the final blast. A rumble shook the ground, causing Rarity to lose her false eyelashes she was maticulesly replacing.

"AHHHH!!!" She shouted as the black strings floated to the ground, "What am I to do?!" Twilight's concentration was broken. She turned her head from the targeted lamb to Rarity at the last second, then her horn discharged.

"Rarity!" Rainbow Dash shouted, zipping down and whisking the white mare into the air.

*ZZZZZZAPPPPP!*

A blinding flash of white light rendered the ponies sightless for a second....except Twilight. "What the hell were you doing?!?!" the furious unicorn towered over Rarity.

"I-I-" Before she could defend herself, Rainbow's shout caught their attention.

"Look at that!" Rainbow called. Twilight turned, looking at what her friend was pointing at. Her mouth dropped open. The purple bolt of energy that was the gender change spell was up in the air, reflected from Rarity's vanity mirror.

"Oh...no...." Twilight stuttered as she watched the bolt of energy fly high into the sky, arking towards Ponyville. Reaching the peak of it's ark, the spell fell down towards the ground, it's sizzling energy lighting the sky around it up to an eerie purple glow.

"It's gonna hit!" Rainbow called. The four ponies began to run to Ponyville, hoping to stop the spell before it was too late.......

Meanwhile, Pinkie was sniffing the air, enjoying the day and terrorizing the patrons of the restaurant, starting meaningless conversations that usually resulted in the pony running off.

"Hey!" Pinkie called to a white society mare that was just walking up the oaken steps to the restaurant. "What are you here for? Hmm, let me guess....ah! To eat food?" Pinkie smiled hopefully. The patron, taking this as a sarcastic comment to her intelligence recoiled in disgust.

"And I suppose you're here to do that too? After all, what else would you do in a restaurant?" the patron smiled smugly and pushed past Pinkie.

"Yes! I'm here to eat too! I mean, duh! It's a restaurant!" Pinkie hopped alongside the mare, talking as she bounced.

"I suggest you go to your seat, the food must be getting cold!" the patron said, smiling a little to herself.

"Oh!" Pinkie said, bouncing up in the air, "There's food?" She shot out to her table. The patron, like having thrown a bone for a frustrating dog, slammed the doors shut behind Pinkie. Then she walked up to the counter

"I'll have a table for two....." she asked the clerk, he nodded and showed her to a table. "Oh, and I'd like it to be near a window, please," she added. The clerk nodded and placed in front of a window in the front of the restaurant.

Pinkie sat, waiting, watching, when suddenly, a large bolt of energy flew out of the sky, engulfing her in a bubble of magical energy. Before she could react, the bubble had let her go....she lay on the floor, dazed. Regaining her senses, Pinkie looked about her. Everything looked the same, smelled the same (and she tried it out on a nearby customer) and felt the same....but something was different.

"This is a project for detective Pinkie!" she whipped out a Sherlock Holmes hat and stuck it on her head, and got a bubble pipe from somewhere and stuck it in her mouth. Yet, even though she was caught up in turning into detective Pinkie, she thought she heard something funny in her voice.

"Hell-" she stopped short. Her voice was deeper, not it's usual chirpy self.

"Well hell to you to, young stallion!" an angry patron said, walking into the restaurant with his wife. Pinkie began to think.

'Did he just call me a stallion?' she thought, scratching her chin. The noticed something else too, her hooves were bigger. 'I really have to find a mirror, this is weirder than usual!" she thought, charging into the restaurant and heading straight for the mare's bathroom.

"HALT!" a voice from behind her called as soon as she opened the door.

"Hello to you too!" Pinkie said in her new voice.

"I said HALT, young stallion," Pinkie turned and saw the clerk looking at her....he was not amused.

"What? I just want to use the bathroom," Pinkie said, shrugging her now much more substantial shoulders.

"Use the stallion's, young man!" the clerk turned, huffing, back to his work at the front desk.

"So, I'm a stallion now?" Pinkie said to herself as she walked to the door of the stallion's restroom. Inside, many chunky faced stallions came and went from stalls, much like in the mare's room she remembered. This being a high class resteraunt, not many lived in the town and thus didn't know her....this saved her reputation.

"Hello," she said weakly, moving to the mirror. Her large hooves clopping ungracefully on the tiled floor. All the stallions stared at her for a few moments before turning back to their occupations. Pinkie gasped upon seeing herself in the mirror. Her mane was it's usual perky self, her coat pretty much the same, except the hairs were coarser, but the mane thing that bothered her was the snout. Instead of the nicely curved snout she and her friends had, she had a squarish one like Big Mac and the other stallions. She gulped. What was Plucky Pen going to think of her?

"I'm going to have to sneak out," she said to herself, apparently louder than she thought because everypony else turned to look at her again, and started filing out. Alone in the restroom, Pinkie began to think about how to sneak out. Suddenly, the door opened and a familiar blue hoof came into view. In a panic, Pinkie dived into a stall and closed it behind herself, and stood there, behind the door, breathing heavily.

Plucky Pen's whistle reached the ears of Pinkie in her hiding spot. What she wouldn't give to be a mare again! Plucky Pen began to talk to himself, as he usually did.

"I hope Pinkie doesn't mind that I'm late," he said to himself, "I wonder where she went?" Pinkie held her breath, but determined that she couldn't let Plucky go home thinking she dumped him, she made up her mind to show herself. She pushed open the stall door, only to look straight into the face of a surprised Plucky Pen.

Author's Note

Once more, this was a REALLY weird dream, I don't mean just weird weird, I mean seriously deranged. Just thought I should gift the world with this little bombshell.
Cheers
~gardian20

Understandings

"P-P-Pinkie?" Plucky Pen stuttered. He was standing in the stallion's bathroom at Flo' de louge', a resteraunt outside of Ponyville in which he and Pinkie had arranged to meet for brinner. Just emerging from the stall, Pinkie Pie stood in her new form, more muscular, more substantial and on top of that, a blunter snout.

"I know," Pinkie said, looking at the floor, "Now we can't love each other, can we?"

"Well," Plucky said, "It does make the relationship a little awkward...."

"I knew it!" Pinkie said in her new voice, looking at her special somepony with a crazed look, "We can't be together? Right?" Her eyes crossed as she put her face right next to Plucky's and looking into his eyes.

"Well," Plucky said, surprised a little at Pinkie's outburst. He stepped back from the imposing mare. "I just said it makes it a little awkward, not impossible, Pinks."

"Oh!" Pinkie said, returning to her usual cheerful demeanor. Plucky smiled. Pinkie's cheerful attitude was one of the many reasons he loved her.

"But wait," Pinkie said, standing still, "How are we supposed to go out with me like this?"

"Well," Plucky started.

"Oh!" Pinkie interrupted, standing so suddenly she bonked Plucky in the nose, "I could disguise myself!" She whipped out a mustache, glasses, and nose mask and put it on. "Nopony will recognize Pinkie Guy now!"

"Uh," Plucky said, taking the mask off Pinkie, "No."

"Why not?!" Pinkie said, "Oh, you're right, I'd look TOO inconspicuis, hmmm..." She sat on the ground, her hoof scratching her chin as she thought.

"Pinkie," Plucky Pen sat down next to her, "We can just say that you're Pinkie's brother."

"But I don't have a brother," Pinkie looked at Plucky with a confused face.

"But they don't know that," Plucky explained.

"Wait, that's LYING!" Pinkie said, gasping a little as she said.

"Tell you what, Pinks," Plucky said, putting a hoof on the pink stallion, "Congratulations you now have a brother, and it's you."

"Oh, cool, I'm the brother of myself!" Pinkie said, looking at herself.

"Well, let's get to my house," Plucky said, standing up. "We can't stay here all night!"

"Why not?" Pinkie said, "Oh! Guessing games! I love guessing games! Let's see, the janitor will kick us out? GIant cucumbers from Mars will abduct us? I'll turn into oatmeal?!" Pinkie began bouncing as they left the bathroom.

"Pinkie, just be quite for a little bit, OK?" Plucky said. He enjoyed being just as random as Pinkie and they got together very well, but on top of that he also had a cool head. Selling pen's from his shop took a cool buisness like mind which he had managed to procure along with the randomness that defined him. This trait had become invaluable in many aspects of his life.

"Alright," Pinkie closed her mouth. Acting as though a growing pressure of water was building up behind it. Plucky hurried through the resteraunt with the bulging lipped stallion and out on the streets.

"Alright, you can talk now," Plucky said, walking down the road, the milky light of twilight reflecting off his blue coat. Suddenly, Pinkie's mouth opened and he was hit with a barrage of words, slamming into him from all directions. "What was that?!" he said, after picking himself off the ground.

"All the things I wanted to say to you while we were walking through the resteraunt!" Pinkie said, nonchalauntly as she bounced down the road. Plucky smiled and shook his head as he followed. The two walked towards his shop, chatting at a very fast speed the whole way.

"Well, here we are!" Plucky said as they walked up the drive of a little blue house. Outside the door, a sign with the picture of a quill waved in the wind. Plucky lived in the top floor of his shop because he couldn't really afford a house AND a shop, and well, it was a small business.

"Oh, nice place!" Pinkie said, bouncing up the drive. Plucky looked on at the stallion, a little disgusted by the transformation which had inflicted the one he loved.

'There has got to be a way to reverse this,' he thought, shaking his head slightly as he walked up the drive. Pinkie's usual antics look much more awkward in her new body. A sturdier build gave her jumps quite a...quite a punch; as it were.

"HelllOOOOOO?" Pinkie cried after opening the door. Plucky also noted that the usual speech of Pinkie was put at an even stranger angle in a deeper voice.

"I live alone pinkie, silly!" Plucky said, returning to his Pinkie Pie like atitude that drew the couple so close.

"Oh, DUH!" Pinkie said, putting a hoof to her face, "That's why you have me!"

Yeah," Plucky began to think. 'I guess we could live as roommates, but how do I explain that to Pinkie Pie who seems to have her heart set on getting married?' he thought, walking into the shop after the pink stallion.

"Oh wow!" Pinkie said excitedly, putting her eye up to a vile of ink, "It looks all, inky!"

"Yes," Plucky said, chuckling a little, "That's why I love selling ink!"

"And these feathers," Pinkie said, moving over to the quill shelf, "They look like they came off Scootaloo!"

"Yeah!" Plucky agreed, "I was just thinking the same thing myself! Oh, and these tree branches came from Fluttershy!" He added, moving over to the oaken branches that were sold as paperweights.

"You're funny!" Pinkie said laughing. Plucky joined in. This is why he loved Pinkie and this is why she loved him, but could they still be together after this transformation?

"Let's move upstairs," Plucky said. Pinkie bounced up the stairs, her more solid stature shaking the stairs as she went up. Turning into a stallion seemed to throw off her physics defying abilities enough to make the stairs shake when she went up them.

Entering the bedroom, Pinkie hopped onto the bed where she presently began bouncing...up and down. Plucky walked in, and though he should have been expecting it, was slightly surprised by the full grown pink stallion bouncing on his bed. Any ordinary day he would have hopped onto it with her, but today he just wasn't in the mood.

"Pinkie, could you have a seat, we need to talk," Plucky sat down on the bed. Pinkie alighted next to him.

"Oh I LOVE talking, what about?" Pinkie said. Before she could go off on a tangent, Plucky stopped her.

"Not that kind of talking, the more serious kind," Plucky explained.

"Oh, so that's the one where the other pony gets to do all the talking?" Pinkie asked, looking a little disappointed.

"Uh, I suppose so," Plucky said. Pinkie nodded and he continued. "Pinkie," He said seriously, "I love you, and you love me, right?" he paused. Pinkie nodded her head in agreement, so he continued. "But since you've turned into a stallion, what with me being a stallion and all, it's been a little more awkward for both of us. And Pinkie, I'm not sure if this phrase has been more appropriately used before, but you're just not the mare I fell in love with."

"Of course I am!" Pinkie said, and grabbed Plucky's face and pulled him close, giving him a big kiss. He kissed back. Whatever they had to do to stay together, they would do it. This was for sure.