The Perilous Childhood Adventures of Bb and Cadyby PonyPonChaptersCastle CrashersBeast BustersFlock FindersCastle Crashers"Cady? A-are you shure it's shafe?" "Oh, of course, Bb!" the older alicorn reassured the young colt behind her. "I wouldn't spend half a day constructing a death trap, would I?" The young Prince Blueblood knew he couldn't answer honestly. He had experience with Cadance's projects before. For all the planning and calculation she implied went into them, they usually turned out haphazard, sometimes needlessly complicated, and above all, messy. And Blueblood detested being messy. And Cadance knew this. She had taken care not to build today's track into any potentially disqusting detours. They would steer clear of any kitchens, mud puddles, or dusty hallways. It would be difficult to get her adoptive brother to help her build it if she didn't. "I shuppose not." he slurred through his rather bucky teeth. "Alrighty then! Get ready to kick the tires and light the fires, Prince Charming!" Today's course was pretty standard for a stunt. Planks of wood from the local market in Canterlot, all arranged in a box-like formation just wide enough for their stunt car to glide through easily. The car in question: a hollowed out drum big enough for two little ponies, painted red, with a menacing tooth-filled face adorning the front. Wheels were drilled into the bottom by a local carpenter who could keep a secret. It had its name in black above their signatures. The Red Rocket, they had decided. Blueblood thought the name rather strait-forward, but couldn't figure out why Cadance found the need to giggle whenever he brought it up. It was red, and went as fast as he figured a rocket would go. Where was the joke? The course was set up by both of them, to Cadance's design. It began at the top of one the castle's many stairwells, went through most of the main hall, took a quick detour into the courtyard, and ended in the royal garden. Cadance had insisted she set up the end herself. Though suspicious, he had let her. She had promised to end it there, so what surprises could she have set up? Cadance was ready. Her hooves shook with anticipation and her wings struggled to stay closed. She reached over the side of the car and adorned her helmet: black, with pink flowers painted on. Flowers on fire. She looked back at Blueblood and pointed at her helmet. A silent 'oh!', and Blueblood had his own helmet put on: yellow, portraying the visage of a whimsical duckling. Cadance chuckled. Safety's no joke, but Bb's helmet was a punchline. With everything checked and accounted for, Cadance reached for the lever that would set them off. She shifted it one notch. Two notches. Three. Each one brought the Rocket to a steeper angle. On the fourth notch, Blueblood clung to his sister's waist, his face scrunched in fear. On the fifth, the Rocket plummeted. The sudden decent sent them careening down the stairs. Their car rattled as their speed built, going in a strait line but curving ever so slightly as the course continued. The car would swerved and buckled, weaving through Canterlot's halls as if in flight. Blueblood was as withdrawn as he always had been when it came to these little rides. Cadance made her enthusiasm well known. "Woooooo! Alright!" she hooted, as the course broke into it's main hall segment, which was more suspended than the previous portion. "Princess Cadance!?" rang a familiar voice. Blueblood's eyes shot open. A royal servant, a pegasus named Neat Freak, was flying to keep up with the car. "What are you doing with the prince in this contraption?!" "That's a secret, Freaky!" the princess responded. "Bb! put your hooves in the air!" The prince just clutched her middle harder. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, I will not allow you to endanger yours or the prince's lives like thi-Omf!" Neat Freak had crashed into the door of the hall leading to the kitchens, while the two young royals sped off to continue their high speed antics in the courtyard. The sound caused the door to open, revealing a stout earth pony in a chef's hat. "They goin' at it again, Neat?" he asked the dazed mare. "Eeyup." She was able to respond before blacking out. Cadance's excitement was reaching new heights. She was practically hopping in her seat except when the car went into one it's frankly terrifying corkscrews. She hollered and cheered at the top of her voice. She never felt more alive than when she did these stunts. And she loved them even more when she got to do them with her favorite little prince. "Ready, Bb!?" "R-ready for what?!" She didn't have to answer, as he could see where the road was leading. The course, it seemed, stopped short at the end of the courtyard, right after the next loop de loop. "Cady? Cady, the courshe is ending!" "But the adventure's just beginning!" "Eeeeeeeee!" Blueblood only had time to let loose a squeal of terror as the car went off the rails. Their great speed propelled them to an incredible height. There were tears in his eyes, but later, he would admit the sight was grand from their position. He could see all of Canterlot. They flew over a white and gold object just before they began to lose altitude. It was a member of the royal guard, who stared wide-eyed at the red object carrying two of the ponies he was trained to protect. Cadance waved frantically, Blueblood sheepishly. He waved back awkwardly, as the Rocket began to pick up speed as it descended again, heading for the Canterlot gardens. Blueblood almost suppressed a sigh of relief as he spotted the course again, the track having a clear spot for the car to continue. Until he realized there was no guarantee they would hit the mark. "We won't make it!" "Yes we will!" The prince held his breath. The car did overshoot slightly, but they did wind up on the track safely. Blueblood let out exasperated breath of air, as that seemed to be the course's end. The car came to a small stop, sliding into an unfamiliar slot of metal, which leaned back as the car entered. "Okay," Blueblood said shakily. "We're done, r-right Cady?" "Oh no," the princess responded, giving a somewhat treacherous smile. "we still have to-" She cast a hoof in front of them, revealing her surprise. "SLAY THE DRAGON!" Flipping up rather suddenly, a wooden board with a crude depiction of a dragon sat in the direct path of the metal box. It was green, had crystals embedded in its scales, and although it had very small wings and unfocused eyes, it didn't diminish the terror implied from its wild expression as it belched flame on little stick figure ponies. It was real enough for Prince Blueblood. "Ack!" "Launching in 3..." Cadance started, putting one hoof on a lever in the metal box, connected to a now tightly clenched metal spring. "Cady, no!" "2..." "Gah! Not like this!" "1...." "Why do I let you do thish all the time?!" "Fire!" She flipped the switch, sending the The Red Rocket speeding toward the fake dragon at a velocity that exceeded the rest of the course. They broke through the dragon's face. On the other side, one last stretch of track was waiting to stop the car. A purpose it fulfilled. Poorly. The car lurched forward, almost sending Cadance out of the vehicle completely, and sticking straight up in the air before falling back down to all its wheels again. "Yeah!" She yelled, tearing off her helmet and spiking it into the ground. "That was so awesome! Canterlot is safe once more! High-hoof, Bb!" She heard no response. "Bb. Gonna leave me hanging?" Again, no response. She looked around wildly. The prince was nowhere to be found. A duckling waddled out of a bush, thinking the strange ponies were done with their rowdiness. "Do you know where he went, little guy?" she asked it mockingly. He looked at her somewhat crossly, but extended a wing pointing above and behind her. She whipped around fast enough to see a white speck heading for a tower. A tower Cadance was almost sure was the one where Celestia was teaching unicorns today. She glared at the Rocket accusingly. "I have got to install seatbelts on that thing." "Blueblood......Blueblood........Prince Blueblood!" The prince was awakened by a stern voice. The first thing he noticed was that the room he was in was full of startled unicorn fillies. The second was his inability to move. The third and perhaps most important was Princess Celestia herself giving him a very disapproving look. "H-Hi auntie." he stammered. "What are you doing in my chalkboard, Blueblood?!" Author's Note The Moral: Don't slay dragons without seatbelts. Would love feedback on the first fic I've ever published. Beast BustersBlueblood winced at the book at his hooves. It depicted the living arrangements of the things Celestia had invited to the castle. To talk of diplomacy and other "Big Pony" things. What were they called again? Zeebas? Something like that. In the book Blueblood had managed to grab from the royal library before being sent to his room, the creatures were said to live on a landmass far across the ocean. It was apparently filled with beasts worse than Equestria had to offer, and they resigned to living in the most filthy of places. Villages in jungles, where every building was a thick tree, hollowed out to make room. Enormous structures that seemed more ruins than places where ponies were meant to live. Cave systems. Caves! for goodness' sake! The prince sincerely wondered what made them live that way. Too many monsters elsewhere, perhaps? He did wonder where he could get stripes like theirs, though. Very stylish. There was a knock at his door. He wondered who it could be. Celestia couldn't possibly be done with the diplomats, and it was far too early for dinner to be ready. "Who ish-?" SLAM! "BB!" Cadance swooped in excitedly, a manic look on her face. "We have to-, there's a-, we can-, eeeeee!" She stammered. Blueblood just raised an eyebrow at her. She was forgetting something rather essential. "What? Oh! Right." She got into position, landing and facing the prince as he stood up. Sunshine, sunshine, they chanted as they pranced. Ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves, And do a little shake! Completing the ritual, Cadance leapt upon her brother, giggling all the while. Blueblood loved their secret hoof shake. It made him feel so special to have something that only he and his sister shared. "Okay, Blues. You know those zebra dudes that Celestia invited?" "Yesh." "And they were bringing her some weird zebra present?" "Yeah." "It's been stolen!" "Oh, no!" "I know!" She leapt up from Blueblood and came gracefully down, facing away from him. "And we're..." she began before turning around rather quickly. "...going to find the lowlife responsible!" "What?!" Blueblood yelped in surprise. Him? Go and find some ruffian who was capable of infiltrating Canterlot Castle and probably get injured severely all for a piece of wood?! Blueblood shook his head strongly and darted under his bed. He was very thankful to Neat Freak for dusting it so thoroughly. He was soon followed by Cadance. "Oh c'mon, Bb!" "No! I won't go and get hurt for a shtupid zeeba mashk!" he wailed. She groaned. "Bb, listen. Celestia would be very grateful if somepony could track the beast down and retrieve the mask, wouldn't she?" Blueblood considered this. Such an act of courage would make his auntie proud. "I wouldn't want to do this alone, and besides, you wouldn't want me to go hunt some big, scary monster all by my lonesome, would you?" He sighed. "Indeed not. I'll come with you." "Yay!" Their search began just outside the throne room, where the mask was held just before it was to be presented to the Sun Princess. "Gah! Wow does this thing stink!" Cadance exclaimed, mock-gulping mouthfuls of fresh air. The chest that the mask was kept in had it's lock broken, and indeed smelled of rotted hay and expired milk. "Bb, you've got to smell this!" Blueblood kept his distance from the chest. "Trusht me, I already can." Shrugging, Cadance stuck her head deeper into the zebras' other belongings. "There's got to be some kind of smelly clue in here!" In pursuit of evidence, she unearthed wicked-looking knives, potions that smelled off (but not as bad as the culprit), strange objects of rope and rocks that might have served as weapons, and even a few other masks that were somewhat creepy, but nowhere near as so as the one they were after. They resolved to continue the search in the main hall. But they hit a small snag. "Ugh! Cady, did you roll in the pilfered chesht before you left it?" "What you talkin' bout, B?" she pouted. "Shomething, erk! shmells foul!" "Well it wasn't me!" Reluctantly, the prince took a deeper sniff of the air, gagging on the scent. "It's coming from....thish way!" he struggled to say as he went further down the hall. "Well, lead the way, BluebloodHound!" Cadance chuckled. As Blueblood followed the scent, the smell in the air grew less widespread, but stronger, reaching an apex just outside one of the royal kitchens. They could hear pots pans rustling in a manner nowhere near suited to proper food preparation. "That scum must be in here." Cadance deduced, crouching low. "Get ready to nab him." Blueblood nodded, eager to get back to his room and stuff his poor nose full of soap. "Aaaaand....Go!" She shouted, bursting into the kitchen, with Blueblood in pursuit. "Freeze, dirt bag!" There was a short moment of continued scuffling through dishware. Then, the royal ponies saw the source of it. A hulking, worm-like creature covered in layers of what could easily be mistaken for freezer burnt meat, was bent over, investigating the pantries. The commotion they caused made it turn to them in surprise. "It's wearing the mask!" Cadance shouted. And indeed it was. On the monster's face, a red mask, clearly carved of wood, with protrusions on either side vaguely resembling ears which dangled bits of assorted bone. It's eyeholes were barely visible, as they were centered in burgundy blotches of color. There were even fangs lodged in the bottom of the mask, only increasing the ferocious air of it all. Were he not terrified by the sheer size of the creature, Blueblood would have wondered who on earth would feel thankful for such an ugly gift. Upon sighting them, the creature slowly drew itself up to its full height, which was considerable. It swayed back and fourth, emitting a surprisingly soft sound that was somewhere between a bark and a cough, while the bones on its facial covering rattled menacingly. All in all, it was a rather mediocre attempt at intimidation Cadance, undeterred, spoke up. "Okay, buddy. As a princess of Equestria, I order you to drop that mask. Right now!" The creature, realizing its tactics were ineffective, froze. Cadance stared sternly at it. It slowly leaned to its right, as the princess followed it with her eyes. In a shocking burst of speed, it sped down the kitchen. Heading right into a garbage chute. "We got a runner!" Cadance shouted before diving into an open cupboard. She quickly emerged again, with a spaghetti strainer on her head, and brandishing a large fork. Blueblood stared at her incredulously. "What? Quick helmet and weapon. It's not we can just strut over to the guards' barracks and get the good stuff; we gotta improv, Bb!" "I-I'm shorry. We?" "Uh, yeah. We're following that thing to it's nest, BB. So suit up, Pretty Boy." she said, sliding him a pot just big enough to fit over his head and a wooden spoon. Blueblood had just about had it at this point. Searching for a potentially dangerous thief, fine. Subject his snout to foul odors, okay. Face down some unknown, albeit cowardly beast for a peace of carved wood? He could handle all that. But to brandish kitchenware like some kind of idiotic knight, to follow some rank animal into a lair that was more than likely literal garbage, to fight over said wood piece? The very idea was unbecoming, undignified, and out of the question for any royal, let alone ponies of their caliber. Why didn't he just leave? He could just alert anyone in the castle, anyone at all, and the problem would be dealt with without his involvement. What was stopping him from taking the easy way out? Blueblood looked up and saw Cadance, her enthused smile faded, and looked hurt at his hesitation. The prince smirked and put on his "helmet". The smile returned, fast as lightning. That was why. The landing they experienced was thankfully a soft one. One of old newspapers and eggshells, but still soft all the same. Surrounded by all manner of waste, some that could very well be weeks old, their mark had not gone far. A short trot and two accidental trips into puddles of questionable source later, they spotted the beast, mask still in tow, lying quite still in a pile of refuse. Apparently, this was the beast's attempt at camouflage. It wasn't very good at this either. "Alright, let's try this again," Cadance growled, brandishing her fork. "Buddy, you give that mask up and we'll go easy on you. I swear. Three years of living in a dungeon are gonna fly by like-" Splork! Cadance stopped her threat immediately, as the beast had spat some grayish slime directly into her face. It allowed itself a brief chuckle before settling back into it's pile, confident that it had made it's point. Cadance brought her hooves to her face and wiped off the gunk in one swift motion. Once uncovered, her eyes were fiery. "Oh, you are dead meat, mister!" she shouted, and jumped at the beast's covered face, lodging her weapon in the area the beast's nose might have been. Caught off guard, it gave a hoarse yell and reared up, knocking much of its hiding place into disarray. Blueblood, frightened somewhat by it's jerking movements meant to dislodge the princess, backed up fearfully, dropping his spoon. Cadance, meanwhile, was tugging with all her might at her fork, still stuck in the creature's face. With a few twisting, writhing movements of her own, she finally pulled it free. The beast gave one last sweep of it's neck. Cadance flew off it at last. And she took the mask with her. Landing in pile of used flour sacks, she hollered with triumph. "Ha! We got it back! In your fa..." Cadance halted her victory taunt. Blueblood was at a loss for words describing what he saw the mask was covering. The creature's true face was unlike anything they had ever seen. The entirety of the top was carpeted in warts. It had strips of flesh dangling over it's nose. It's teeth were a mess, jutting out over the lower jaw, crooked and uneven. It seemed to have only fleshy pits where it's ears should have been, and it's eyes were sunken in, the face contorted to give it a permanently worried expression. Blueblood preferred the mask, to be quite honest. And he made the point quite clear when he found his voice. "It'sh....hideoush!" "Yeah....no kidding." Cadance said distantly, thrown off by the beast's appearance. The beast sniffled, but it slowly slithered forward, clearly meaning to do harm. "I mean it, Cady! We are in a garbage dump, and I honeshtly think he'sh the worsht-looking thing here! He'sh in a class all hish own in terms of uglinessh!" The beast stopped it's assault. It seemed tears were welling up in it's eyes. The prince noticed. "Uh, yeah!" He yelled, boldly stepping forth, trying to intimidate the beast. "You're the worsht thing I've ever sheen in my young life! I've sheen puke that looked more handshome than you!" The beast's tear's grew more prominent, and a faint hissing nose could be heard. "You're vile! Atrocioush! An affront to Auntie's shun and everything under it!" There was a quite audible hissing coming from the beast as smoke began to rise from it's eyes. It's volume was only matched by the beast's own inelegant blubbering. Blueblood, delighting in the creature's sensitivity, decided to land his killing blow. He got as close to the beast as he dared, looked it in the eye, and whispered just loud enough for it to hear. "No one loves you." The beast gave a great wail that practically blew him away, sending him tumbling towards Cadance. It wailed, grieved, and sobbed miserably. The prince's words, it seemed, had hit a rather large nerve. It's tears pored fourth in great streams, in incredible volume, covering nearly all of it's snakelike body. And it seemed to eat away at it, turning it's body to liquid as slumped lower and lower into a puddle made of itself. The beast took no heed, as it simply cried and cried itselt hoarse, only to deaden to a near silence as it's head sunk into it's own smoking, hissing pool, eventually disappearing. The young royals simply stared, mouths agape, at the sight of the creature's demise. Blueblood was the first to step fourth, picking up his long forgotten weapon and tossing it experimentally into the creature's remains. It quickly sank, leaving a short burst of bubbles where it landed. "Whoa." Cadance said, shocked. She looked down at her brother, slowly breaking into a wide grin. "Way to go, Bb! I mean, forget guards! Nobody will want to mess with you after that!" "You...really think sho?" "Think so? Blueblood, you took that thing down without even touching it! You killed it with just words! That's one awesome power you got there!" Blueblood gave her the smallest of smiles as she gathered up the mask, slightly damaged from her attack, but mostly ok. "C'mon Bb! Let's get this back up top where it belongs." The zebra were overjoyed to have the mask back. At least, Blueblood thought they were. He couldn't understand a word they were saying. They did seem rather grateful that two members of royalty had seen personally to retrieving it and punishing the culprit. They even seemed eager to shake Blueblood's hoof. He figured Cadance must have informed them of his part in the affair. But the excitement was over and Blueblood could think of no greater way to celebrate than soaking in a bubble bath for several hours. He was beyond filthy. Just before reaching his room, however, he bumped into a much larger, very white figure. "Blueblood!" Celestia exclaimed. "What on earth is that smell? Have you been rolling in garbage?!" Author's Note I feel I may have gone overboard with this. Feedback is appreciated. Was it a little too much? In case you were wondering, they were facing off against this. Caution! Really ugly messes ahead! It's part of a totally great rpg you should all totally play when it's done. Flock FindersBlueblood was great. There was no argument to it. He simply was. As he trotted through the streets in some unknown town, the ponies stopped to gawk at him, to bow to him, to submit at the pure power he possessed. And his body reflected this the most. The prince was plated in the purest of gold. From his muzzle to his haunches, the bright metal shone like the sun. His hoofsteps came down with deafening crashes, weighted down by his coat. Every stallion, mare and foal listened to his noise, and knew that he was their superior, their ruler, their master. But the influence he had, seemed to dissipate. Disappear. With each second, his rich visage became more and more tarnished. Panicking, searching for any sort of answer or solace, he caught sight of a light on the horizon. A light that would outshine him even before his untimely dulling. The source approached, flying through the sky towards the confused prince. It seemed to descend, gracefully to the ground in front of him.. The light around it began to fade. It was not a harsh decay like his had been. No, this was a deliberate, soft dimming. The light revealed its source willingly. It was his sister. But not as he knew her. She had grown taller, greater. Her face one of utmost compassion. But this was not what drew his attention first. It was her body. It was clear, shiny. He could see right through to her heart, a sturdy construct of crystal itself. It seemed to radiate a heat that Blueblood familiar and foreign at the same time. He had been a mere god of beauty before. Now, he bore witness to radiance incarnate. And the ponies that had once submitted to him, now prayed to her. She took to the air again, her light increasing to its former power, and the ponies followed her light eagerly. Blueblood would have cursed the foals that abandoned him, but he found he could not. He wanted to follow her as well. The silent prayers he uttered wished for the same things the common ponies did. He wanted her to love him, to care for him, to let him shine with her. But he couldn't. His feet refused to move. His body, withered and rusted, kept all his weight, and him from following her. He wanted to call out to her, to get her to help him, but all that came from his throat as she and the other ponies disappeared from whence she came was... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOOM! Had the noise that awoke the prince from his troubling dream not been so loud, he would have been forced to dwell on it, and try to find meaning in it. But the deafening roar had caught his attention, and after scrambling out of bed, he ran to his window in time to see a massive, beautiful rainbow outside, crossing the entire sky. He had never seen anything like it, and it struck fear into him. Is the castle under attack? Did Auntie know about it? Is Cadance safe?