That Darn Cat

by Regidar

Rating: teen
Tags: Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 1716

Rarity forgets to feed Opalescence; She must be destroyed.

Rarity isn't perfect. So one morning when bogged down with far too many projects, she forgets to feed Opalescence. Rarity also seems to have forgotten the golden rule of cat ownership: if you value your life, always feed them on time.

A birthday present for Tittysparkles.

[img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png[/img]

Published 2013-07-31 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-31 03:10:01 UTC

The Price of Failure

The morning was ghastly.

Opalescence awoke in her usual manner, on her little cat bed. It was a comfortable thing to wake up on, as well as to sleep on. All in all, a comfortable experience all around.

She yawned, stretching out, claws extended. She shook her head, and looked all around at her surroundings. Cloths of varying colors were draped over pretty much... everything. The pony mannequins were completely covered with fabrics, the tables were strewn with supplies, and in the middle of it all was one very tired-looking and frazzled unicorn.

Opalescence shot a short glance at the tired looking pony, then walked away. It wasn’t her problem. Rarity was probably fine anyway. The feline had much more important things to attend to, such as eating and sleeping for another nineteen hours. She might even stand still in one place for a long time, until somepony was unfortunate enough to pass by, and swipe at their ankles, claws extended.

Opalescence smirked a self-entitled smirk, and scurried on off to the kitchen. Heading over to her food bowl, she put her head down, and took a huge bite.

Only to have her teeth scrape the empty bottom.

She stared down at the bowl in utter disbelief. There was no way this was happening, it couldn’t be happening, there was always fresh food for her. This simply would not do.

Hissing and spitting, the cat shot her way back to the main room, where her owner was still engrossed in in her work. Rarity was fussing over a large pile of coasts, but Opal had no time for this. The cat scowled, and darted towards Rarity, under fabrics and tables, heading right for her destination: Rarity’s legs.

Grinding up against Rarity’s legs, Opalescence put on her most adorable kitten eyes, and purred as loud as she possibly could. Rarity looked around, tired eyes searching for the source of the lawnmower noise. Spotting the cat at her hooves, she sighed.

“I’m sorry Opalescence, but I am rather busy right now. I’ll play with you in a little bit,” Rarity said in a very weary voice. Opal persisted, until Rarity levitated the cat away with her magic.

Opalescence scowled. This. Was. War! There obviously was no other way to deal with this

Opal smiled her insidious cat smile. Her traps were set to perfection. She had “borrowed” quite a few things from Applejack, the earth pony that her owner so often consorted with. These things included a wrench, a large amount of rope, a ladder, and a bucket of sulphuric acid. Her plans were soon to be set in motion.

Opalescence had snuck a rather large rock inside, and using the ropes she had procured, rigged the rock up so that with a push of her paw, she could slide it down from the rafters and smash the horrible pony who dared not to feed her.

Getting the rock up there had not been easy. Opal had used her tremendous cat strength to get it up the ladder. By that, of course, I mean she tricked Winona into doing it for her. The cat cackled to herself as she watched the dog struggle to get the boulder up to the rafter where it would rest, waiting for ropes to be rigged up to it.

Winona only fell and was crushed by the rock twice, so the project ended up being finished ahead of schedule. Opalescence took a little catnap while waiting for her owner to walk within swinging distance of the trap.

Around twenty minutes later, Opal heard the door open. She flung herself against the rock, pushing it off the rafter and down into a glorious arc, where it would smash against Rarity and eliminate her once and for all.

“Rarity, I heard you were overworked, so I brought you some delicious gem cake I baked up extra-great for you!” Spike said as her skipped into the Carousel Boutique. “Sans gems except for decoration, of course.”

Opal’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake. Now the trap was to be wasted! Good thing she had other traps planned in case this one failed.

The rock swung down, smashing into the happy little dragon holding the outstretched piece of cake. Spike was thrown across the room, and Opalescence cringed as she heard the snapping of scales and bones. The dragon smashed through a window on the far side of the room, and landed somewhere outside with the loud splat!

Opal groaned, and hopped down from the ceiling. It was time for Plan B.

Grabbing the bucket of sulfuric acid, Opal brought out the ladder again. This time, she headed to the back door and opened it slightly, climbing up to the top and resting there with the container of deadly liquid. The idea here was to wait for Rarity to come in through this door, and the unicorn would get a nice little storm of acid rain.

Opal didn’t have to wait long, for after only three minutes and twelve seconds, the door was opened up a bit more, and the cat dumped the acid like it was the contents of my bowels after a Brazilian chili cook-off.

“Oh, Rarity, I saw that the door was open, and I figured I might come in and ask you a question, if that’s alright with you...” Fluttershy said in a soft voice, before the acid doused her head, melting in off completely within a matter of moments.

Opalescence facepawed. How was she so terrible at this? Hoping down from her perch, careful to avoid the hole in the floor where the acid was boiling away, she scampered into main room to find that Rarity hadn’t moved at all since this morning. So that’s where her plans had gone wrong...

“Oh, I should probably stop to make myself some food soon, I’m absolutely famished,” Rarity mumbled to herself, measuring out another roll of cloth.

Opal scowled from her hiding place under Rarity’s drama couch. How dare she think about feeding herself when she hadn’t even fed her own pet! Why, she was like a child to Rarity! And like any good child, she would have to kill her mother for forgetting to feed her.

But from this information, came an idea! Originally, Opal was just going to bash Rarity’s head in with the wrench she had borrowed from Applejack, but now the cat had something to work with.

Darting to the kitchen, she snuck over to the oven and began to fiddle and fool around with the inner mechanics. Eventually, she had set the perfect trap. Anypony who tried to use the oven to cook a meal would get a face full (and body full) of exploded appliance.

Opal retreated to the safety of the rafter which previously held a large rock, and waited for her plan to come to fruition. From the main room, she heard voices talking. Not paying much attention to this, the cat did what any sane cat would do; took another nap.

She awoke to the sound of the oven turning on. Opening her eyes eagerly, she looked down at the cooking device, malicious grin plastered on her face. The grin turned to a grimace of despair, as instead of the evil Rarity that was in front of the oven, it was the less-evil-but-still-somewhat-annoying Sweetie Belle.

Opal knew it was too late to stop the trap from being ruined. If she got too close, she herself would be caught in the blast. So she just waited for the horror of yet another plan being foiled.

“I can’t believe Rarity let me make her lunch!” Sweetie Belle said with a happy squeak. “She must be really busy...”

Sweetie Belle flipped the over on, and ignited a small flame. There was a tremendous explosion, and Sweetie Belle was flung out out the same window Spike had been flung earlier. The burst body landed on top of the bloody mess that was Spike, electing a small groan from not-dead-yet dragon. The final pressure on his frail frame was too much, however, and he expired.

Opal shed a single cat tear. At this rate, Rarity would go completely unpunished for her crimes! Nothing the feline tried to do would ever work out. It was so frustrating!

“What’s going on in here?” Rarity asked, entering the kitchen. “I heard a rather loud noise that caused me to accidentally hurt myself with a needle.” Rarity held up her hoof, which was covered in cuts and pinpricks. “Granted, I’m so overworked, tired, and hungry that I am not completely in my mind and was hitting my hoof quite a few times already, but...”

Rarity looked around. “Sweetie Belle? Where are you?” she asked, before her eyes rested on Opalescence. “Opalescence! I almost completely forgot. Let me get you your food.”

Rarity levitated out a can of cat food, and opened it with her magic. She scooped it out into her pet’s food bowl, and sat down on a slightly scorched chair. “What smells like burning coat?” she wondered to herself as she rested her head down on the table.

Opalescence stared at the food bowl for a moment, then rushed over and began to gobble it. Rarity wasn’t so bad after all... she could live for a little while longer.

Rarity sighed. “I suppose I can just rest my eyes for just a few moments...”

The door splintered as it was kicked in and a squad of police ponies surrounded Rarity, cuffing all of her limbs together behind her back.

“You’re under the arrest for the murder of two ponies, and for disrupting the piece by flinging dragon bodies from your premise without a license!” a thick-looking stallion yelled.

“What? I did no such thing—” Rarity began to say, before her mouth was stuffed full of donuts. The cops then devoured these donuts from her mouth, licking every inch of her teeth for extra sprinkles, then they shoved a gag in her mouth, carrying her away.

“We’re gonna put you sick monster away for quite a while,” one of them warned. Rarity was silently crying as they threw her in the back of the cop carriage.

Opal stared after them in horror. Now who would feed her?