Smile, Smile, Smile

by punzil504

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 7120

Princess Rarity returns to Ponyville months after her coronation for a dental appointment. Colgate uses the opportunity to play matchmaker. Entry for the Random Romance group's July contest.

It's been months since Princess Rarity's Coronation. A dental appointment brings her back to Ponyville for the first time since moving out of Carousel Boutique. The more things change, the more they never seem the same.

Written for the Random Romance group's July contest…

Yes, Rarity is an Alicorn Princess in this story. Her ascension occurred as a result of events in Magical Mystery Couture.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-01 05:50:05 UTC

Is it Safe?

"She'll see you shortly," the receptionist had said.  That had been at least fifteen minutes ago.

Rarity sat in the waiting room at her dentist’s office, tapping her hooves impatiently.  She glanced around and sighed.  Part of her wanted to cry out I'm a Princess now.  Can’t I just order you to come and see me, and not the other way around?  She knew, of course, that asking such a thing was pointless.

Celestia and Luna had offered her their own oral hygienist when she had moved to Canterlot, but Rarity had been going to Dr. Minuette (or Colgate, as she was called by much of Ponyville) for years, ever since the blue mare had taken over the practice of the now retired Dr. Payne.  She trusted Colgate, and was rather squeamish about letting anypony else work on her teeth, however highly recommended they were.

Rarity had even gone so far as to try to coax Colgate to move her practice to Canterlot, but naturally the dentist balked at the prospect.

“Leave Ponyville?  I… couldn’t.  My clients are all here.  Ponyville needs a dentist,” the dentist had said.

“I could make you my personal concierge dentist,” Rarity begged.

“With all due respect, your majesty, wouldn’t it be easier just to make an appointment and fly yourself over?  After all, It’s only twice a year for cleaning,” Colgate continued.  “Considering how well you take care of your teeth, I don’t see you needing any additional care unless you were to get bucked in the face by Big McIntosh or something.”

Conceding the point, Rarity continued to make biannual visits to Ponyville’s only certified dentist.  It did not mean that she liked having to wait her turn.  The waiting room was so boring.  For a town that had such a disparity between stallions and mares, why did every waiting room seem to be overflowing with stacks of old sports magazines?  One of them was so old, it featured Rainbow Dash on the cover winning the Best Young Flyers competition.  The magazines that were not sports related were either for fillies and colts, or gossip that was worse than anything Gabby Gums ever came up with.  Rarity had met Fancy Pants, and he was a much finer stallion than the tabloids portrayed him to be.

The door behind the receptionist’s area opened, and a cream colored filly with a red mane trotted out.

“Twist,” Dr. Minuette called after the filly, poking her head into the waiting room.  “You forgot your complimentary floss.  We can’t have that now, can we?”

“No, Dr. Colgate,” Twist chirped back, receiving the small white container from the dentist.  “I need it to remove the bit-th and pietheth of food thtuck between my teeth that bruthing won’t reach,” she recited.

“That’s right,” Colgate replied with a smile.  Turning to Rarity, she said “I’ll be right with you, Princess.  If you’d like, you can take a seat.  My assistant will get started right away.  I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“Not at all,” Rarity lied.  She had arrived early in the hopes of possibly being seen earlier, but to no avail.  It could have been worse.  At least Colgate wasn’t running late that day.

“Thank you Doctor! Thee ya later, Printheth Rarity!” Twist called as she and the alabaster princess proceeded in different directions.  Rarity couldn’t help but smile at the filly’s innocence.  She was in Sweetie Belle’s class at school, was she not?

“Have a seat, your majesty,” a familiar voice attracted her attention, as did a beautifully coiffed orange mane.

“Carrot Top?” Rarity asked, incredulously.  “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Carrot top just shrugged and smiled.  She indicated the chair again with a hoof.

Rarity awkwardly clambered into the chair.  The last time she had done this, she was still a unicorn.

“How do Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy do this?” she grunted, her face flushing in embarrassment.

“I don’t know about Rainbow Dash,” Carrot Top admitted, “but Fluttershy just relaxes her wings and lies back.”

“I’m not exactly used to lying on them yet,” Rarity disclosed.

“You might get the sensation of pins and needles when you get back up,” Carrot Top cautioned her.  “I think it’s like if you lie on your fetlocks in a certain way for too long.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rarity nodded.

Colgate came in, and began assembling various tooth-cleansing implements.  Donning gloves and a protective mask, she leaned over Rarity with a mouth mirror in hoof.

“Open,” she said simply.  Colgate generally did not waste words when working.  There generally wasn’t much point when the pony you were talking to had their vocabulary limited to that of a zombie.

Rarity lay on the chair as the blue coated dentist gave her mouth a once-over.  Colgate’s brow furrowed.  Something was wrong.  Of all of the worst possible things…

“I think I need to update your x-rays, Rarity,” Colgate concluded.  “Normally I would do this after five years, and it’s only been three since yours were done.  Due to your recent transformation, however, I think it would be a good idea.”

“Uh… huh,” Rarity gurgled.

“There aren’t huge differences between earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus teeth, so for the most part I do not anticipate finding anything unusual.  That said, you are bit larger than you used to be,” Colgate continued.

Rarity raised an eyebrow at the dentist’s comment.

“Don’t give me that look, Princess,” Colgate dismissed Rarity’s offended scowl with a wave of her hoof.  “You know full well that I wasn’t calling you fat.”

Rarity rolled her eyes, but otherwise said nothing.  Not that she would have been able to say anything coherent anyway.

“You’ll agree that there have been more changes to your body than just your wings, yes?”

“Uh-huh.”  The alabaster alicorn wanted to nod, but Colgate’s hooves had a firm grip on her jaw.

“Good, then we’re on the same page.  You may close your mouth now.  Carrot Top, would you please set up numbers six, nine, and fourteen?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

Rarity glanced at Carrot Top.  She thought she knew the orange maned mare as well as she knew any customer at the boutique, but she certainly didn’t remember seeing her at Colgate’s office in the past.

“All set, doctor,” Carrot Top confirmed.  She hoofed Rarity a fashionably drab, yet effective vest for protection against stray radiation, which Rarity promptly donned.

“Thank you, Carrot Top.  Open please, Rarity.”

Rarity complied, and the dentist slid what the alicorn imagined must be dental implement number six along her gumline.

“Bite down, please.”

She did so.  Colgate pressed a red button on the x-ray machine, causing it to hum for a moment, and then click softly.

“Open.”

Implement number six was removed, and replaced with number nine.

“While I’m doing this, we’ll need two, five, and eight,” Colgate instructed Carrot Top, who was quick to oblige.  “Bite,” the dentist ordered Rarity.

Rarity repeated her previous action.  Hummm... click.

“Open.”

One device was removed, another inserted.

“Bite.”

This particular tool felt almost irritably odd as she bit down on it.  Thankfully she only had to deal with it for a moment or two.  Hummm... click.

“Open.”

The monotony gave Rarity the opportunity to let her mind wander away from her current situation.  Her eyes scanned the room she was occupying at the moment.  Nothing particularly interesting jumped out at her.  There were a couple of charts on the walls, one of which explained the proper technique of flossing, the other showing various stages of tooth decay in excruciatingly graphic detail.

“Bite.”

Rarity glanced at Carrot Top again.  Did she sell her farm?  Golden Harvest Farms had always grown the best carrots from Ponyville to Canterlot.  Maybe her sister Sweet Wheat had taken over the family business instead.  Hummm... click.

“Open.  Three, Seven, and Twelve, please, Carrot Top.”

How much longer was this going to take?  It wasn’t necessarily that Rarity didn’t like going to the dentist.  Well, maybe a little, but she couldn’t imagine anypony actually liking the experience.  It was something that a pony needed to do to stay healthy.  Like mammograms, colonoscopies, and horn CTs.

“Bite.”

Rarity shifted her wings a bit, and made a mental note to ask either Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy whether there were any sort of maladies that specifically targeted the wings.  She had been getting preventative scans of her horn for a few years now to watch for cancer there, but she had not been in to see her primary physician since her transformation… Hummm... click.

“Open.  You’re doing great, Rarity.  Just a few more.”

“Okay,” Rarity said weakly.  Her mouth felt dry in places from the cotton, but she also felt the overwhelming urge to spit in a very unladylike fashion.  She had already lost track of how many different devices had been gently, but firmly settled between bicuspids, canines, and molars for imaging purposes.

“Bite.”

This particular piece of plastic went between her incisors.  She felt like she was back in her high school foreign language class trying to learn Griffin, her face frozen in the process of saying a word containing an umlaut.  It dug into her tongue a bit as well. Hummm... click.

“Open.”

Sighing in relief, Rarity gladly allowed the removal of that particular torture tool.

“This should be the last one,” Colgate informed her, the dentist’s gentle smile peeking out from behind her protective mask.  “Bite.”

I wonder what Sweetie Belle is doing right now?  She’s probably off with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.  Oh, dear… I hope that she’s not doing anything too dangerous.  She’d better be wearing her helmet if she’s in Scootaloo’s wagon.  That orange filly is like Rainbow Dash when it comes to speed.  She has two: fast, and faster.  Hummm... click.

“Open… and we’re finished.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Rarity breathed, her jaw aching slightly from being held in such unfamiliar positions for so long.

“I just need to compile these and put them into your file.  I’ll only be a couple of minutes,” Colgate said.  “Hang tight, I’ll be back.”

Nodding wearily, Rarity leaned her head back on the pillow-like lump at the top of the dentist’s chair.  Carrot Top was scrawling some notes, likely something that would also be added to her chart.

It was quiet.  The sound of a ticking clock drifted into the room from somewhere, but Rarity saw no sign of any timepiece on the wall or anywhere else in the room for that matter.

Tick.  Tick.  Tick.

Finishing with her note taking, Carrot Top placed them into a manila folder and closed it.  She folded her forelegs and sat in a chair against the wall.  Noticing Rarity watching her, she smiled nervously, and an apprehensive chuckle escaped her lips.

Should I start a conversation with her? Rarity wondered.  What sort of things does one discuss with somepony who has just seen the intimate details of the inside of one’s mouth?

“So how’s Sweet Wheat doing?”

Smooth one, Rarity.  The ice has been broken, and in such a way that you’re not verbally assaulting her.  Deflect to her family instead.

“She’s covering my shift at the farm today,” Carrot Top answered with a shrug.

A disclosure of information that dances around the elephant in the room…

“So you are still working on the farm,” Rarity stated bluntly.

“The farm’s my regular job.  You know, the one that pays the bills,” Carrot Top answered.  “As much work as that is, I wanted to do something more, so I took some night school classes and got my CDA.  I was inspired by my roommate.”

“Your roommate?”

“Ditzy Doo?  The Mailmare?”  Carrot Top looked at Rarity questioningly.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you two lived together.  She and her daughters are real sweethearts, aren’t they?” Rarity asked.

Carrot Top laughed.  “It’s totally different when you’re living with them.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Ditzy and her family to pieces, but sometimes…” She cut herself off.

“Oh, believe me, I know,” Rarity assured her.  “Sweetie Belle always means well, but there are certain things that one just doesn’t do... like let her cook unsupervised.”

“In our house, that rule is reserved for Ditzy,” Carrot Top said.  “I think we’re the only house on the block that has two fire extinguishers under the kitchen sink.”

“That would explain Dinky’s reaction that time Sweetie held a sleepover at the Boutique,” Rarity giggled.  “I cooked them breakfast the morning after, and she asked me if I was sure that I was doing it right, because nothing was on fire.”

“As often as that does happen, I have to say that you’re missing out if you haven’t tried Ditzy’s muffins,” Carrot Top said.

“Oh, I have, darling, and I totally agree.  Ditzy makes a muffin to die for,” Rarity gushed.

“That she does,” Colgate said, returning from the filing room.  “I don’t know about your tastes, but I’m rather partial to her pistachio mint.” She made a popping sound with her mouth.  “Simply divine.”

Rarity found herself feeling rather irritated that the dentist had returned.  Wait, what am I thinking? She wondered.  A few moments ago I couldn’t wait to get out of here, but now I’m hoping for five more minutes of idle chatter?  She sneaked a peek at Carrot Top and felt her face grow hot.  No.  It couldn’t be.  Princesses don’t act this way, get it together, Rarity.

“Now that the hard part’s over, we just have to do the cleaning, and then you’ll be all set,” Colgate announced.  Rarity nodded, barely paying attention.  Carrot Top had returned to the file, and was furiously scribbling something.  Or at least it appeared that way.  She seemed to be writing a lot for so little actually taking place.  Was there something else going on?

“Rarity!” Colgate snapped her hoof in front of the alicorn’s face.  “I can’t start polishing your pearly whites with your mouth closed, hun.”

“Huh? I mean, yes? Sorry…” Rarity stumbled over the apology as the dentist got her attention.  Oh dear, how embarrassed must I look right now?  Seriously…

Her right wing started to feel increasingly uncomfortable, and began to spasm.  Oh, Sweet Celestia, not this… not here… not now.  Get a grip, Rarity.  Think of unpleasant things, like Colgate’s drill.  No, not that type of drill.  Arghh…  Creamed corn.  Sweetie Belle’s cooking. Applejack wearing galoshes.  Twilight talking about quantum mechanics… ahh, that did it.  Much better.

*Bzzzweeeeeee…*

The sound of Colgate’s polishing tool and the pressure on her teeth brought her back to reality again, but at least her wings were behaving themselves now, and neither the dentist nor Carrot Top seemed to notice.  How embarrassing it would have been if they had...

~SSS~

Later...

Carrot Top’s eyes wandered absently over a stack of paperwork.  Sighing, she rationalized that Colgate was going to end up filling out most of it, as she needed to be back on the farm early the next morning.  She suddenly became aware of somepony taking great strides to invade her personal space.  Colgate was practically draped over her.

“Gyahh!” Carrot Top squealed.  “What gives, Colgate?  For Pete’s sake, even Pinkie Pie doesn’t get that invasive!”

The blue coated dentist chortled.  “Seriously, Carrot Top, you were so oblivious just now, I could have written ‘I heart Rarity’ in indelible ink on your forehead and you wouldn’t even have noticed.”

“I do not!” Carrot Top protested.  “It’s just a little… wait, you didn’t actually write anything on me, did you?”  In her scramble to find a mirror, the orange maned farmer almost knocked over her chair.  She found a reflective surface and was relieved to find her face devoid of embarrassing graffiti.  Her mane was rather unkempt at the moment, however.

Throughout all of this, Colgate was doubled over in laughter, almost to the point of gasping for air.

“So…” she began, when she finally settled down. “Did you ask her?”

“No,” Carrot Top said briskly.

“No?  What do you mean no?  You practically begged Sweet Wheat to cover your shift today so you could be here.  Didn’t you offer to do her chores for a week?”

“Two.” Carrot Top mumbled, flushing.

“So what’s the problem?  I even dawdled while filing her x-rays just so you’d have a chance to make small talk.  How long do you think it really took to do that?”  Colgate shook her head disapprovingly.

“I know, but… something about our conversation made me think that she couldn’t possibly be interested in me,” the farmer lamented.

“Which part?” Colgate teased.  “The part where she popped a wingie after I came back?  I can tell you right now, it wasn’t because of anything I was doing.”

“She did not,” Carrot Top blurted in embarrassment, her face flushing.

“I’ve had enough pegasi as clients to know when they’re trying to fight it,” Colgate affirmed.  “Usually, it doesn’t happen until after I start polishing, though.  Just admit it, CT.  The new Princess thinks you’re hot stuff.”

"Whatever," Carrot Top muttered, forcing the corners of her mouth to maintain a grimace.  "You finished up, gave her a new toothbrush and some floss, and sent her on her way.  And I... missed my chance."

"Ponyfeathers," Colgate scoffed.

"She's gone, Colgate," her orange maned assistant insisted.  "She went back to Canterlot, where she's be adored by the Posh and the Princelings."

"Then go get her, tiger," Colgate said, standing firm.  "Quit pining for her and take action.  Besides, we both know that she hasn't been in town in months.  Think about it.  If you moved to Canterlot and came back to Ponyville, where's the first place you'd go?  After seeing me, of course."

"After seeing you..." Carrot Top repeated dully.  "I'd go to visit friends that I hadn't seen in a while, I guess.  Of course, I would have told them I was coming, first."

"Most likely," Colgate concurred.

"So if I wanted to see all of them, we'd need to meet at a location convenient for everypony.  Probably the library, because I know Rarity's good friends with Twilight Sparkle."

"Don't forget Spike," the blue coated dentist needled her.

"I couldn't if I tried," Carrot Top grumbled enviously.  "On the other hoof, you just made me think of something.  If I were going to go over to Golden Oaks after this, I'd have to fly by...  Sweet Celestia, you're a genius, Colgate!  I know just where to find her!"  The carrot farmer jumped to her hooves and galloped out of the dentist's office at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash proud.  Colgate swore she saw a contrail in her friend's wake.

"You're welcome," the dentist said, despite Carrot Top being long gone.  She poked her head out into the waiting room, where a rather large white Pegasus was holding an ice pack to his swollen jaw.  "I hope I haven't kept you waiting for too long, Snowflake."

"Yeah..." the Pegasus weakly groaned.

~SSS~

Rarity gawked at the establishment that used to be her dress shop.  The name on the front awning was still the same, but one word had been added to it in fancy scripted letters that could only be described as pure travesty.  The worst part was, she should have suspected that something like this would happen when she sold the building to Berry Punch after the coronation.

A chalkboard A-frame rested outside, proudly proclaiming:

Welcome to Carousel Boutique Winery,

where our wines are chic, unique and magnifique!

Ten percent off on purchases of twelve or more individual bottles

Fifteen percent off on cases

See Berry for more details.

“Of all of the worst possible things,” Rarity began, “this is—“

“Rarity!” a familiar voice called to her.  It was Carrot Top.

“My boutique…” Rarity whimpered, pointing a hoof lamely at her former residence.

“I know,” Carrot Top beamed.  “Hasn’t she done wonders with…” The orange maned farmer’s face fell, realizing that Rarity was not taking the news very well.  “She never told you?”

“I… didn’t ask,” Rarity admitted.  “I should have known better, but I couldn’t afford a new shop in Canterlot in addition to this one.  Sweetie Belle wasn’t old enough to take it over, and I didn’t think it would be proper to take out a loan on the royal coffers so early in my tenure.”

“Well, you really need to go inside, then.  I’ll buy.” Carrot Top guided the alabaster alicorn through the doors.

Rarity admitted that she expected to see a saloon-like atmosphere when she entered.  That had certainly been the case at Berry’s old place.  With some obvious exceptions, like the addition of a bar, a lot of the decorum remained the same as when she had owned it herself.  Her hoof-made gala dresses adorned the walls, their rips and tears repaired from the events of that awful night.  Ponnequins had been fashioned into stools for sitting at the bar.  Even a Mare-do-well costume was there, autographed by Rainbow Dash, ironically enough.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique Winery, where our wines are… oh, dear, Your Majesty!” Berry Punch exclaimed as she spotted Rarity and dropped into a graceful curtsy.  Carrot Top led the princess over to the bar, and nudged the bartender (and vintner, apparently) back to a standing position.

“Princess Rarity was in town, and wishes to hear about the changes you’ve made to her home,” Carrot Top said between clenched teeth.  She winked twice, hoping Berry would take the hint.

“Well, er…” Berry Punch stammered, trying to come up with an excuse that wouldn’t get her sent to the moon.  “Here’s the thing, your majesty…”

“Just Rarity, please, Berry.  We went to school together, after all,” Rarity corrected her.

“Rarity,” Berry continued.  “When you sold me the boutique, you have no idea how much that inspired me.  I knew that if I bought your place and it just ended up being another dive or fillyfooler’s bar, that wouldn’t be fair to you.  So I needed to do more than just keep the ‘Rarity’ theme here.  I needed to sell a product.”

I have a theme? Rarity asked herself.

“For a while, I’ve wanted to expand my winery.  Sure, I’ve had a small business in the back of the bar for years now, but nopony came to my bar for wine.  They came for the beer, whiskey, and Apple family cider.  Business was okay, but I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself or my special talent,” Berry shook her flank to illustrate.  “Your boutique gave me the space I needed to expand my inventory, as well as the Princess Rarity name.”

“One moment please, darling,” Rarity interrupted, finally finding her voice.  “You’ve been using my image to sell alcohol?”

“Well,” Berry Punch flushed a bit at the blunt accusation. “Not exactly, no.  I use the building’s image.”

“That’s a bit of a relief,” Rarity sighed.  “For a moment there, I thought—“

“I use your reputation,” Berry finished proudly.

The alabaster alicorn looked around desperately for her old fainting couch, which she knew had been included with the ponnequins and dresses decorating the winery.  She spotted it against the far wall and threw herself on it shamelessly.  A twinge of pain in her second set of shoulder blades reminded her that she shouldn’t do that anymore now that she had wings, but she simply grit her teeth and groaned.

Carrot Top trotted over to the princess.  Berry Punch started to follow, but a some odd sign language from the orange maned mare deterred her.  Berry nodded in understanding.

“How about this,” she announced rather loudly and in an odd monotone.  “I’m gonna get you two a flight of my best.  Trust me, tasting is believing.  I guarantee you won’t be disappointed your majest—er, Rarity.”  The mulberry coated vintner cantered over to the bar area and began setting up a series of multicolored bottles.

“Come on, Rarity,” Carrot Top asserted, her voice dropping to whisper.  “Berry Punch has worked very hard on this.”

Rarity slowly lurched into a sitting position.  “If it were just about the wine, that would be easy enough to dismiss.  But she’s doing this by riding on my coattails,” she hissed, trying to keep her own volume down.  “When I sold her the boutique, I did not give her permission to use me.”

“So what are you saying, then… you want a cut of the profits?” Carrot Top whispered caustically.

“Merciful heavens, no, I—“ Rarity paused.  “Profits?”

“She’s done well,” Carrot Top informed her.  “It may not look that way at the moment, since it’s still early, but once the word finally got out, business has been booming.  It helps that a lot of ponies in town have pitched in and spread the word.  For example, Twilight Sparkle had her mom write a column for Canterlot Weekly about it.  You didn’t read it?”

“Well, I…” Rarity stammered.

“A week later this married couple comes to town… I believe their names were Jet Set and Upper Crust,” Carrot Top continued.  Rarity winced in spite of herself as she remembered the pair.  “They were so impressed that they joined the Wine of the Month Club, and promised to spread the word across Canterlot.  In fact, they mentioned that one of the reasons that they even came here is because they were acquainted with you.”

Rarity hung her head.  “You certainly know how to put a mare in her place, Carrot Top,” she whimpered.

Berry Punch pranced over to the table with a pair of flight caddies.  “We’ll start with three sweet ones and work our way to the dry,” she explained.

Rarity peered closely at the middle glass in her caddy.  “It’s orange,” she remarked, pointing a hoof at the liquid inside.

“It’s Carrot Wine,” Berry verified.

“I didn’t know such a thing was possible,” Rarity exclaimed.

“It is when you have the best carrot farmer this side of Equestria as your supplier,” the mulberry vintner bragged, poking Carrot Top in the ribs as she did so.  Carrot Top mumbled something unintelligible as her face turned the color of the wine in the glass on the right.  “It’s actually our second best seller, but it was Upper Crust’s favorite.  She bought two cases for… how did she put it?  A ‘little soiree’ that she was going to be hosting. ‘Only about fifty ponies or so.’”  Berry’s voice dipped into a faux Canterlot accent, and laughed at her imitation of the posh pony.

Rarity chuckled, in spite of herself.  She remembered Upper Crust all too well.  Picking up the leftmost glass, she swirled it gently and took a small sniff of the amber fluid within.  The pleasant aroma of apples wafted through her nostrils and she sighed audibly.

“A lovely bouquet,” she offered awkwardly, seeing the eyes of both Berry and Carrot Top on her expectantly.  Rarity took a dainty sip, and was greeted with a tangy, crisp flavor.  She smiled.

“You can thank Granny Smith for that one,” Berry Punch grinned.  “It’ll never be as popular as their cider, but for those of us with a trained palate…” she trailed off, shrugging.

Next was the carrot wine.  Rarity wrinkled her nose, not knowing what to expect with this one, but when she smelled it, she caught a hint of cloves intertwined with carrot and… molasses?  She tested it, and her tastebuds were bombarded with the most amazing sensation she had ever experienced.

“It’s like a trip to the spa… only in my mouth,” she squealed with glee.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” Berry whispered to Carrot Top, who giggled as she nodded.

“This came from your farm?” Rarity inquired as the farmer took a sip of her own flight.

“Gold medal harvest from... what year was it, Punchy?”

“The year before Princess Luna’s return from exile, I think,” Berry replied.

“I think you’re right.  It was a really good year for Ponyville farmers , in any case.  Big McIntosh got silver to our gold at the Big E.  With carrots.  Think about that for a second,” Carrot Top said with a smirk.

“I plan on entering the Apple and Carrot wines there this year,” Berry disclosed.  “Can you imagine if your carrots got the gold in two different forms, CT?”

Carrot Top blushed.  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…”

“I’d say if anypony could do it, it would be you,” Rarity gushed to Berry.  “This vintage is simply divine.  I think it speaks as a testament to both of your talents.”

“Well, now you see why it’s so popular,” the vintner said with a smile.  “Would you believe me if I said that before you sold me the boutique almost nopony even wanted to try it?  A shame, really.”  She clucked in a 'tsk tsk' manner disapprovingly.  “Now, I must warn you, the third is sweet, but it’s… got a kick.”

“A kick?  What did you do, age it in a moonshine barrel?” Rarity asked slightly sarcastically.

“Not for this wine… that one will be in the next flight,” Berry put forth cryptically.

Rarity brought her nose to the third glass in the set and inhaled cautiously.

“Do I smell… pepper?” she asked, her right eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Good nose!” Berry cheered.  “This baby’s my newest creation.  I was talking with Pepperdance last Nightmare Night, and she made a small wager with me that I couldn’t make a wine with her produce like I did with CT’s here.  Challenge accepted.”

Rarity brought the glass to her lips.

“I think this one’s actually the sweetest of the OH MY SWEET CELESTIA, THAT’S HOT!”

Carrot Top quickly handed Rarity a glass of water, which the princess gulped down.

“Actually,” Berry Punch continued nonchalantly, “that particular brand comes in three varieties.  You just tried ‘mild,’ which is made from jalapenos.  We have a ‘medium’ made from habaneros…”

“If that…” Rarity huffed, “was mild, *puff* I’d hate *huff* to try ‘hot.’”

“It’s not for everypony,” Berry agreed.  “It’s very limited production.  The Naga Viper isn’t a very common pepper as it is, but Pepperdance knows how to grow ‘em.  Still, it ends up being a very expensive wine, exclusive to Club Members only for tasting.

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll pass,” the princess wheezed.  She couldn’t help noticing that Carrot Top was not having the same problem with the spicy brew that she was… and that she appeared to actually be enjoying Rarity’s distress a bit.  Her wings flared a bit instinctively at the thought.  “But the first two were splendid,” she added as an amendment.

“I’ll go get your second flight,” Berry Punch announced merrily.  Rarity watched as the mulberry bartender practically skipped back toward the bar.  She really enjoys this, the princess mused.

The door to the boutique opened, and a well-dressed couple sauntered in.

“Wilbur and Dainty Dove from Manehattan... we had an appointment for a tasting this afternoon?” the brown gentlecolt announced.  “I daresay that this is a quaint little establishment you have here.”

“I hope Mosely wasn’t pulling our legs about this place,” the white mare, Dainty Dove, muttered as she glanced disparaging at the Mare-Do-Well costume on the wall.

“I’ll be right with you folks,” Berry promised.  “Just let me finish waiting on the Princess.”  Rarity noticed that the vintner placed additional stress on her title.  It was obviously intentional, considering the tone of the Manehattanites, and she couldn’t bring herself to blame her for it.  Much.

“So, are you over your little tantrum?” she heard Carrot Top teasing her, bringing her attention back to the orange maned mare.

“Quite.  You would think by now that I, of all ponies would not judge a book by its cover… wait, that’s not right… I made this particular book’s cover.  Oh... you know what I mean…”

“I’m just kidding with you, Rarity,” Carrot Top smiled.

“I know.  It’s not bad.  It’s just… changed.  That’s the part that was the hardest.  Although honestly, even if she had turned it into a brothel, I wouldn’t have had the right to argue.  A deal is a deal, as they say,” Rarity conceded.  “But it’s easier to accept when it’s producing such quality as this,” she held up what remained of the carrot wine in her glass, and finished it.

“You would be surprised how much has changed since you left,” Carrot Top softly confessed.

Something about the way the carrot farmer stated that made Rarity curious.

“How do you mean?”

“I know we’ve never been as close as you and Applejack,” Carrot Top replied.  Rarity thought she detected a hint of jealousy in the statement.  “But you at least know that my farm sells more than just carrots, right?”

“I… have to say I never knew for certain,” Rarity lamented, choosing her words carefully. “However that in itself does not surprise me as much as hearing that the Apples won silver for growing carrots that year.”

Carrot Top gave her a stone-faced look that prompted the princess to correct herself.  Quickly.

“What I mean to say is that one of the things I’ve learned over the years is that our cutie marks do not dictate everything that we do.  You are a farmer, and you may specialize with carrots as a crop, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot raise other crops, or that farming is your sole talent.  I imagine that you are a very talented young mare.  Like the whole dental assistant thing you have going for you.”

“Not exactly the answer I was hoping for,” Carrot Top grumbled. “But it will have to do.  You’re right.  I’ve been selling my carrots to Berry for a while now, and when her business really started to take off, it made me think about a few things, too.  Not just dentistry, either, although that’s been a nice side source of income.  As you already guessed, I went out and bought a small expansion to Golden Harvest Farms with some of the profits from selling the carrots to Berry.”

“That’s wonderful,” Rarity congratulated her.

“I planted chick peas on it.” Carrot Top went on.

“That’s… I don’t understand,” Rarity started.  “I mean, you’re trying something different, obviously.  How did it… did it work?”

“Do you like hummus?” the yellow mare asked.  It was almost a challenge.

“It is… I have enjoyed it on occasion,” the princess stammered.

“Do you remember the Saddle Arabian emissaries that came to Ponyville with Princess Celestia?” Carrot Top asked.

“My recollection of their visit was a marred a bit by the magic duel that preceded it,” Rarity admitted.  “Not that the duel was in any way their fault, but I was still recovering from my role in the whole brouhaha, so I’m afraid that I did not get the chance to speak with any of the emissaries directly.  I heard some very nice things about them, though.”

Carrot Top nodded.  She had looked on as Rarity and her sister assisted Twilight Sparkle in outsmarting a power drunk unicorn showmare bent on revenge.

“Well, I did get the chance, to speak with one of them,” she said.  “We talked for a long time that night, he and I.”

“About chick peas.”  Rarity cast a glance over at Berry Punch, who was entrenched in a discussion of her own at the bar with the Manehattan couple.

“About a lot of things.  He almost convinced me to go back with him.  He was this close.” Carrot Top held up her hooves to punctuate her meaning.

“He sounds… nice,” Rarity said wistfully.

“He was a jerk,” Carrot Top suddenly spat.  “He already had a wife, not that he told me that little secret until I forced it out of him later.  The best thing I got out of him that night was inside information that chick peas were going to be the next big crop.  He was right.  Hummus is all the rage in Canterlot, Fillydelphia, and Manehattan these days.  I’m a carrot farmer, but I’m growing more chick peas than carrots.  Who’d a thunk it?”

“That’s impressive.  You should be proud of yourself,” Rarity beamed.

“Like I said, something good had to come from that night,” Carrot Top said with a sad grimace.

Rarity began to nod, but there was a quiver in the mare’s voice that made her think twice.

“No…” she gasped.

“Nopony’s perfect, your Majesty,” the yellow mare murmured with a wan smile.  “Like I said, I forced him to tell me afterward.”

“Did anything…?”

“We were… lucky, I guess.” Carrot Top said thankfully.

“I… don’t know what to say,” Rarity said, attempting to empathize.

“I learned a couple of things on that night that are going to make me and my family very wealthy.  I’m not going to waste my time dwelling on the bad part.  Although between him and Scripty, I think I’m done with stallions for a while,” Carrot Top asserted, setting her jaw.  Her eyes told Rarity a different story, but the alabaster alicorn thought it best if she didn’t push the issue.  For now.

“LUNA’S BUTTERY NIPPLE! MY THROAT’S ON FIRE!”

Both mares’ attention ended up being drawn to Dainty Dove crying out in pain at the bar.  Berry Punch was trying incredibly hard (and failing) to hold back her schadenfreude.  She did help the blonde maned mare by offering her a glass of ice water, which Dainty Dove quickly quaffed in a manner diametrically opposed to her name.

“Punchy told me that she can’t wait for Spike to be old enough to try that… she thinks he’ll get a kick out of it,” Carrot Top commented.

“I don’t know,” Rarity countered.  “Just because Spike’s a dragon doesn’t mean that he’s a fan of spicy things.  Now if she ever found a way to make wine out of gems, that would be something he’d enjoy.”

“Good point,” Carrot Top conceded.  “Say, do you suppose she’s going to be able to come back with our second flight any time soon?”

Rarity surveyed the scene at the bar, that featured a coughing Dainty Dove.  The white coated mare was handling her drink with far less dignity than Rarity had previously.

“I suppose not,” Rarity lamented.  “Still, it gives us a chance to chat a bit, unless you have somewhere you need to be?”

There was an unmistakable smile forming in the corners of the farmer’s muzzle.

“Honestly, I would have expected you to be the one with some manner of pressing business to attend to at Sugar Cube Corner or Golden Oaks,” Carrot Top said, a bit hesitantly.  “You do have a lot of other friends.”

“One can never have too many friends,” Rarity assured her.  “I mean, look at Pinkie Pie.  She’s friends with everypony.”

“Pinkie is… Pinkie.” Carrot Top said, her ears flattening against her head at the mention of the pink party pony.  She looked around cautionsly, realizing that they had just spoken the mare’s name three times.  It wouldn’t surprise her in the least if, underneath the table…

“Hiya!”

“Gyahh!” Carrot Top squealed for the second time that afternoon.  “Land sakes, Colgate, when the hay did you get here?”

“Just now, when you were looking under the table for something,” the blue dentist said, flashing a perfect smile.  “Did you find it?”

“I…  um… no,” Carrot Top said flatly.  “No I did not.”

“Did you drop something?” Rarity asked, puzzled by the mare’s sudden strange behavior.  Not that a majority of the day hadn’t been rather odd, but she was back in Ponyville.  That explained everything, as far as she was concerned.

“Were you planning on joining us, Colgate?” Carrot Top asked through clenched teeth, using her hooves to try to signal her friend that the correct answer to the proposition was ‘no.’

“I wasn’t going to, since you two lovebirds look so happy together, but if you’re inviting me, what the hay,” Colgate beamed as she sat down.

If looks could kill, Carrot Top thought, Rarity would be on trial for double mareslaughter.  She wasn’t sure whether it was because of the ‘lovebirds’ comment or the dentist joining them…

“How about I go and see if I can’t help Punchy out, and get us all a little something,” Colgate said, nudging Carrot Top twice and winking.  Out of the corner of her eye, Carrot Top saw Rarity’s burning gaze intensify on the dentist.

“Good idea, doc,” Carrot Top encouraged her, and Colgate scampered off.  How can someone so professional at the office be such an utter flake during her off hours?  The farmer sighed.

“Lovebirds?”

And now she had to deal with Rarity.  Could this day get any better?  She had a couple of options… she could laugh it off, deny her little crush for what it was…

“I’m that obvious?” Rarity asked quietly.

Did I hear that right?

“Obvious?” Carrot Top repeated.  Yup.  Smooth as a gravel road full of potholes.

“You don’t have to deny it.  I’m such a foal,” Rarity whined.  “Leering at you at the office, not to mention…”

“The wingie?”

Rarity winced, but nodded.  “You must think that I’m frightfully gauche.  Princesses are not supposed to act in such an uncouth manner around their… friends.”

Carrot Top raised an eyebrow.  “Were you about to say subjects?”

“I’d still like to think of the ponies I grew up with as more than that,” Rarity said with a sense of guilt.  “I’m still new at this princess thing, you know.”

“What if I were to say that certain… advances would be welcome?”  Carrot Top asked hopefully.

“I’d be inclined to respond by informing you rather bluntly that I have no idea what I’d doing, even if I tried,” Rarity admitted.

“Are you?” Carrot Top pressed.  “Trying, I mean.”

“That depends,” the alabaster alicorn answered cryptically with a toss of her indigo mane.  “Are my attempts helping or detracting from my goal?”

“Well, it’s the sort of thing I’d expect from Twilight Sparkle, but I’d be lying if I say it wasn’t working.”

“Thank Celestia,” Rarity breathed a sigh of relief.  “That is to say, I’ve never thought of myself as the huntress type.  A lady generally prefers to be wooed, you know.”

“That can be difficult when said lady’s eye is on another lady,” Carrot Top teased.

“Quite,” Rarity blushed.  “Plus after that dreadful night chasing Prince Blueblood at the gala, I promised myself that I would never do anything like that again.”

“Stallions are different,” Carrot Top replied in a soothing tone.  “I’ve sworn off them for a while, you know.”  She started to lean in a bit toward the princess, who reciprocated the gesture, wings flaring slightly.

“You did mention that earlier, as I recall,” Rarity noted.  “Would you consider it forward of me to ask if—“

“Got our drinks!” Colgate announced, setting down another pair of wine flights between the flirting couple, and a third glass for herself.  “So what were we talking about?”

“Wheels.” Carrot Top deadpanned.

“Yes, I seem to recall hearing that the Great and Powerful Trixie,” Rarity waved her hooves in an imitation of the showmare, “does not trust wheels, especially when there are three of them.”

“Well, that Trixie was a bit nutty, I can tell you,” Colgate laughed. Pounding her hoof on the table.

“Really?” Carrot Top asked, the tone in the voice taking on a grating ‘can’t you take a hint’ tone.  “Because I think she may have been on to something, don’t you agree?”

“I concur one hundred percent,” Rarity said, downing the rightmost glass of wine without even sniffing it first.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to… um… help Berry Punch with all of the customers,” Colgate said.  Rarity glanced around, and noticed that the Manehattanites had left, and Berry was wiping the bar down with a rag.

“Please do,” Carrot Top said with most cheerful looking fake smile Rarity had ever seen.  Colgate saluted and trotted off again.

“Did she leave the nitrous valve on or something at the office?”  Rarity whispered.

“Nah.  That’s just Colgate being Colgate,” Carrot Top said.

“Really?  Because that reminded me of—“ a yellow hoof found its way into the princess’ mouth.

“Please, Rarity.  Do we really want her showing up, too?”

“Gmmd pommt,”Rarity said through a muzzle full of hoof.

“So where were we?” the farmer asked the princess.

“I think we were about to mutually ask each other’s permission to see if this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, as the saying goes,” Rarity waxed poetically.

“How modern of us, don’t you think?”

“I do believe it is.”

“Which one of us should answer?”

“I daresay we both already have.”

“So what do we do now?”

“We enjoy the moment.”

~SSS~

From across the room, Colgate watched the couple, her inner romantic cheering with delight.

Colgate smiled.

Rarity smiled.

Carrot Top smiled.