Sweet, Solemn, Sad

Chapters

Clichés
Singing
Fate Says...
Puppeteer
Serenade
Terroir
Alternative Medicine
Delivery Time
Ship Ship Hooray!
Foundation
Confirmation
Presents
Rendezvous
Urban Legends
Convoluted Methods
Old Celebrations
Trip Report
Anticipation
Permission
Wake Up Call
Accessorizing
Mirror, Mirror
Universal
Forbidden Fruit

Clichés

Rainbow Dash was many things: fast, awesome, a shining example of what it meant to be loyal, and a world class athlete. While she would never admit it, there were many qualities and abilities that she lacked. It was one of her inherent inabilities that led her to a rather uncomfortable situation for her.

She sat inside Ponyville’s library with a novel in front of her. Beside her was the librarian supposedly reading a book in front of her. Rainbow was enraptured with her book while the librarian’s attention was on the cyan pegasus. Occasionally she would give a wistful sigh causing Rainbow to look up at her. Seeing Rainbow meet her eyes would force her to bury herself into her book before catching a few glances at her friend. Rainbow would then shrug before returning to her book. After performing the routine a couple dozen times, the librarian spoke.

“Rainbow,” she said. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure.” Rainbow closed her book. “What’s on your mind, Twilight?”

“Bear with me for a moment, this took me a long time to build up the courage to do.” Twilight took in a deep breath.

“Why would you need to build up courage just to talk to…”

“Rainbow,” Twilight interrupted. “Before I continue with what I have to say, I have a question to ask. Do you like it when ponies are straight forward?”

“I’d prefer if they were, yes,” Rainbow answered. “Why do you ask?”

“Great, this will be a lot easier then. Rainbow.” Twilight looked straight into Rainbow’s eyes. “I like you.”

“I like you too, Twilight.”

A faint blush appeared on the purple unicorn’s face. Her heart began pounding at a rapid rate while a doting smile appeared on her face.

“Really?”

“Why wouldn’t I like you?” Rainbow asked. “You’re one of the most likable ponies I know. I mean, you’re not as awesome as me but…” Twilight closed her eyes and leaned forward towards Rainbow’s lips. Before she could make contact, Rainbow placed a hoof on Twilight’s lips. “What are you doing?”

Twilight pulled back. “You said you liked me,” she said. “I thought that a kiss would be the perfect way to show it.”

“Why would a kiss be…” Rainbow smacked her forehead. She groaned and silently cursed to herself. “I always miss this social cue. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same. As clichéd as this sounds, it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Because using an age old cliché is supposed to make me feel much better,” Twilight said dejected. A weak chuckle came from her. “I should have expected this. No pony can love a pony like me.”

Rainbow placed both of her hooves at the side of Twilight’s face. “Twilight, listen to me,” she said. “Never say that. You’re a smart pony who has more value than you can imagine. You’re the most magical pony in the country only second to the Princesses. You have your heart out in the open like a cutie mark. A lot of ponies would see that as a weakness, but they're wrong, it shows you’re strong and willing to put yourself out there. You have all the traits that a pony could want in a romantic partner and then some.”

“You sound like a filly going on about their crush,” Twilight chuckled. “And yet you use the cliché that ponies use when they’re breaking up with somepony.”

“I meant it when I said it.”

Twilight cocked her head in confusion.

“I do like you, but as a friend. And that’s all I’m ever going to see you or anypony as.”

“I don’t understand.”

“How to explain this… Do you have a deck of cards?” Twilight lit up her horn. In a flash of light, a small stack of cards appeared in between her and Rainbow. Rainbow started searched through the deck. She pulled out a card and showed it to Twilight. On the face of the card was the ace of spades. “This is me.”

“I still don’t understand.”

Rainbow pulled three other cards out of the deck, the queen of hearts, king of clubs, and the jack of diamonds. "Look at these other cards. See how they all have some sort of pair in their pictures?" she asked. Twilight nodded. Rainbow tapped the ace of spades. "All of the aces in the deck aren't like that. In their picture it's a single picture and that's it. I'm like the ace in that aspect, I don't feel any kind of attraction and I don't really want it. It's not only towards mares either. Mares, stallions, griffons, zebras, you name a species and their gendered names and I can guarantee I can't feel any kind of romantic attraction towards them."

“Why?” Rainbow shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But in all honesty, I don’t really care. From what I’ve seen, romance is essentially a really close friendship only with certain benefits to it. And I already have close friendships with five other ponies. I don’t want anything more than that.” Rainbow stood up and flared her wings. “I can see why you’d like me, I mean, who wouldn’t? I’m the most awesome pegasus to ever live!”

“Not to mention the most attractive.”

“Flattery gets you nowhere, Twilight.” Rainbow winked at her. “But keep doing it if you want.” Twilight giggled. Rainbow sat back down with a soft expression in her eyes. She reached out and placed a hoof on Twilight’s.

“I’m sorry that I can’t give you the kind of love that you want,” she said. “Believe me; if I could I would to make you happy. But I don’t see you that way. All I can give you is what I’ve been giving you.”

“I understand, Rainbow.” Twilight smiled. “Thanks for being honest with me.”

“Does this mean that we can continue our reading date?” Twilight nodded. She returned to her book while Rainbow did the same. A brief silence sat with them while they turned through their books. “You know you’re wrong.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said that no pony could love you,” Rainbow continued. “I know one who does. And it’s the kind of love you want.” Twilight looked up from her book.

“Really?” she asked.

“Really. She’s crazy about you. She gushes on and on about how you’re the most amazing pony in the world and how your beauty could put the Princesses’ to shame.” A faint blush appeared on Twilight’s face.

“I don’t know about that,” she said, rubbing the back of her head. “Who is this pony?”

“I’m not allowed to say.” Rainbow looked up at Twilight. “Like what you did before you talked to me, she’s working up the courage to talk to you about that. But, we can make that go faster if you can tell me that you’re willing to give her a chance.”

“Is this pony a crazy stalker pony?”

“Stalker, no. And crazy would be an understatement.” Twilight opened her mouth. “The fun kind of crazy, not the scary kind.”

“If that’s true, then yes, I will give her a chance.”

“Cool.” Rainbow returned to her book while Twilight did the same. Unlike Rainbow, Twilight couldn’t focus on her book. She was too busy thinking of the pony so enamoured with her. Every thought of this pony made her giggle like a love struck filly. Rainbow smiled as Twilight continued giggling. She’s going to be very happy when she hears the news.

Singing

Pinkie had strange habits that many would consider irrational or illogical. Most of these habits would be brushed off and easily explained by saying that they were part of what made Pinkie such an eccentric pony. One habit though, was easier for others to understand. While the weather was always scheduled and available for ponies to see, Pinkie actively chose to ignore it. Doing so would make each day a surprise. Today was no different.

Like every other morning Pinkie tip toed towards her window with a smile on her face. A gentle snore echoed around her room as she made her way to the window. She stopped in front of a dark red curtain and reached out for it.

“Okay world,” she said closing her eyes. “What kind of surprises do you have in store today?” Pinkie pulled the curtain aside and pushed her window open. Her eyes opened and the smile on her face grew. “Good morning, Ponyville!” Pinkie’s smile shrank a small bit as she looked out. Dark grey clouds covered the sky and rain was falling at a steady pace. The streets were empty save for a grey pegasus delivering mail.

“Aww,” she pouted. “It’s raining. I was hoping that there’d be sunshine today.” A barely audible yawn brought Pinkie’s attention away from the window. She looked down to her right to find a small alligator slowly opening his eyes. Pinkie picked up the alligator and placed him on the window sill.

“Good morning, Gummy.” Pinkie rubbed her nose against Gummy’s. “Sleep well?” Gummy gurgled. “That sounds like such a fun dream! I wish I could have had something like that. All I had was a dream about Equestria being nothing but a work of fiction. But that’d be silly! I mean, if Equestria is fictional, then it means that everypony and everything inside it is too. And if that’s true, then it means…” Thunder rolling across the sky stopped Pinkie from continuing. Both Gummy and Pinkie looked outside.

“Oh, right. Thanks weather for reminding me! Gummy, unfortunately we’re going to have to take a rain check for our plans today.” Gummy blinked. “Well, okay, I don’t think that’ll work but stranger things have happened.” Pinkie cleared her throat.

“Rain, rain, go away,” she sang. “Come again another day.” The rain continued falling. “See Gummy? That song never works. And why would it?” Pinkie started walking away from the window.

“It’s just a nursery rhyme that ponies sing to their foals to help them sleep. It doesn’t have any real… did the rain just stop?” Gummy gurgled. Pinkie’s eyes widened and she returned to the window. The rain had stopped falling and the clouds were slowly receding. The sound of thunder was fading away with the clouds. “Wait! I didn’t really mean it!”

“Rain, rain, come and stay,” Pinkie sang. “Little Johnny wants to play.” Thunder once again rolled across the sky. The clouds returned and lightning fell from them. Rain soon followed causing both Pinkie and Gummy to blink in confusion.

“Did I just…” Gummy nodded. “Huh. Let’s try that again."

“Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day,” she sang. Like before, the rain stopped and the clouds receded. “Rain, rain, come and stay. Little Johnny wants to play.” The clouds slowly returned to their positions and thunder rolled across the sky. Pinkie’s eyes widened.

“Dear Celestia!” she gasped. “I can control the weather with songs! Do you know what this means, Gummy?” Gummy leapt from the window sill and bit onto Pinkie’s mane.

“Gummy! That’s terrible!” Pinkie said in shock. “I’d never abuse my power like that. But you do raise an interesting question.” Pinkie started walking towards the stairs leading to Sugar Cube Corner.

“If I can control the weather with songs, what else can I do with it?” she asked out loud. “Can I control other things with my singing? Will I be able to do whatever I want while I sing? Will everypony listen to me and obey while under my sway?” Gummy blinked. “You’re right. Let’s test that theory by baking cupcakes.” Pinkie opened the door and left her room. When the door closed, laughter could be heard from outside the window. Lying on top of the cloud was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. Flying beside her was a tortoise wearing a pair of goggles over his eyes and a propeller on the back of his shell.

“Tank,” the pegasus said. “That was a great idea. Thanks for thinking it.” Tank held out his leg and the pegasus tapped it. She sat up and wiped a tear away from her eyes.

“In all seriousness though,” she continued. “Do you think we should tell her now?” Tank nodded. He dived into a cloud causing it to poof out of existence. The pegasus flew up and followed the tortoise’s example of hitting clouds. When they were done, they landed at the back entrance of Sugar Cube Corner, and knocked on the door.

Fate Says...

On an ordinary spring day, The Cutie Mark Crusaders were faced with an unusual problem. The three all had their eyes on a certain pony and they were all aware of the others’ feelings. They sat in their clubhouse hoping to find a solution to their problem.

“I say we look at Rarity’s romance books for the answer,” Sweetie Belle said. “Situations like this are normally a common theme in those stories.”

“Those are normally triangles aren’t they?” Scootaloo asked. “And don’t those triangles have the characters liking each other, or having two of them looking at one character?” Sweetie Belle nodded. “I don’t think those apply to our situation.”

“Scoot does have a point,” Apple Bloom said. “And in those stories, doesn’t one of the characters end up heartbroken?”

“That’s true.” Sweetie Belle tapped her chin. “There has to be some way we can solve this without hurting each other.” The three of them sat in silence, trying to find a solution.

“I think I should get Twilight,” Scootaloo said, breaking the silence.

“What?!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom screamed.

“She’s given me a love for reading,” Scootaloo explained. “We’ve bonded over that and we can build on it into something more.”

“But she promised me that she’d teach me magic!” Sweetie Belle argued. “While learning from her, we’ll bond over our love of it, and we’ll get together. Master disciple relationships are a common theme in romance stories, so it’s most likely to happen.”

“Those stories are fictional though! They don’t reflect what happens in real life!”

“Art imitates life.”

“Or does life imitate art?”

“Either way, I’d still get her.”

“Over my dead body.”

“I should have Twilight,” Apple Bloom interrupted. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo turned to her. “I don’t really have a reason or how I’d get her, I just think I should have her. I mean, you all see what I see. She’s smart.”

“She’s funny,” Sweetie Belle added.

“And she’s beautiful,” Scootaloo said, adoration dripping from her words. All three fillies shared a wistful sigh as daydreams involving the purple librarian danced in their heads. They stared into space with love-struck smiles on their faces.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Girls?” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo blinked as Apple Bloom pulled them out of their daydreams. “You know how stories with love triangles have the two characters who want the same character have their relationship ruined?” The pegasus and unicorn nodded. “I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“Me either,” Sweetie Belle moped.

“Yeah, as much as I like Twilight, you two mean more to me.” Scootaloo smiled. “And even if I got together with her, I’d have a bad taste in my mouth knowing that I hurt you two.”

“So what do we do?” Apple Bloom asked. “Only one of us can be with Twilight, but we’d hurt each other if we did do that.”

“I have an idea, but it’s a little crazy,” Sweetie Belle warned.

“Crazy how?” Scootaloo tilted her head. “Discord crazy or Pinkie crazy?”

“Pinkie crazy.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo gasped.

“You bite your tongue!” Apple Bloom hissed.

“Just hear me out,” Sweetie Belle continued. “We all want Twilight, right?” Her friends hesitantly nodded. “So why don’t we all go for her?”

“Because we’ll be left with two heartbroken ponies, that’s why,” Scootaloo deadpanned.

“But what if it didn’t have to be that way?” Sweetie Belle smiled. “What if we could all be with her at the same time? If we could, we’d all be happy and there wouldn’t be any heartbreak. Not unless Twilight leaves or rejects us.”

“Is that even possible?” Scootaloo crossed her forelegs. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of something like that working.” Apple Bloom tapped her chin.

“I think it might work.” The two other occupants in the room turned to Apple Bloom. Scootaloo had a look of confusion on her face while Sweetie Belle’s smile remained. “There’s a word in the dictionary for what Sweetie’s suggesting, it’s called polygyny. That word wouldn’t exist if it didn’t work, right?”

“That’s true.” Sweetie Belle’s smile grew. “This can work!”

“I don’t know.” Scootaloo turned to the back of the room. “I think we should ask Fate if it’ll work.” Her friends looked in the same direction. At the back of the clubhouse was a shelf with various books and tools on it. Sitting at the very top of it was a plastic sphere with an eight painted onto it.

“There is the possibility that it might not work,” Sweetie Belle admitted. “But if it does, we’ll all be happy. It’d be nice to know if it’ll work.”

“All opposed of asking Fate?” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were silent. Scootaloo walked to the shelf. She picked up the sphere and held it in her hooves. “Is there a way for one of us to be with Twilight without the other two to be hurt?” Scootaloo shook her hooves. The sphere swished as a small blue object rolled around inside it. She looked down at a window on it. A series of lettering appeared in the window. “My sources say no.”

“Thanks Fate. I never imagined that would happen.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Come on, Scoot. Ask Fate if Sweetie’s idea would work.”

“Can’t blame me for trying can you?” Scootaloo chuckled. “Is there a way for all of us to be with Twilight?” She again shook the sphere. Scootaloo looked down. “As I see it, yes.” Sweetie Belle excitedly gasped. She got up off her hooves and ran to Scootaloo. She grabbed the sphere from her hooves.

“Will that way make us all happy?” Sweetie Belle asked, shaking it. She stopped and looked down. A loud squeal came from her as she stared at the sphere’s window. “Yes!”

“Wait, is that what Fate says or is that you cheering?” Apple Bloom scratched her head.

“Both!” Sweetie Belle tossed the sphere to the top of the shelf. She grabbed Scootaloo and danced around her. “This is so great! There isn’t going to be any heartbreak!”

“I can’t believe it,” Scootaloo laughed. “This is one of the best days ever!”

“Hold on!” The pegasus and unicorn stopped dancing. “We need to figure out how to get this started before we start celebrating. Do either of you know a thing about romance? Because I know next to nothing.”

“Only what I’ve read from Rarity’s books.” Sweetie Belle let Scootaloo go. “But we did argue that life imitates art and vice versa, so they may be a good place to start. Scoot, what do you know?”

“It involves ponies being in love,” she chuckled. “But that’s a given. Should we go study?” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom nodded. They headed to the exit at a gentle pace, each pony happily humming to themselves and thinking of what Fate had said will be.

Puppeteer

Cadance silently locked the doors leading to her throne room. She turned around lit up her horn. A small section of the center of the room glowed with a faint cyan aura. The aura disappeared and a section of the room fell with a loud thud, forming a step. That step was followed by another, and then another, each descending lower than the last. Cadance winced at the noise they created. She put her ear to the door, listening for anyone approaching the room. A few seconds of silence was enough to convince her that no one would disturb her. Cadance trot down the stairs at a gentle pace with a calm smile on her face.

~~~

Equestria’s newest princess and the ruler of the Crystal Empire walked down one of the many halls of Canterlot Castle. The former being animated while the latter wore a serene smile.

“It’s nice of you to visit, Cadance,” Twilight said. “It’s a shame that we don’t see each other that often.”

“I know. It feels like we only see each other whenever there’s a crisis in Equestria,” Cadance giggled. “Then again, that seems to happen every other month.”

“That isn’t often enough.”

“Oh?” Cadance raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying there aren’t enough crises?”

“I’d create one if it meant spending time with you.” Both princesses shared a giggle. They walked in a comfortable silence with their footsteps being the only sound accompanying them. The two princesses were content with the atmosphere as they continued their trip. As they made their way around a corner, two shapes off in the distance approached them at a rapid pace. One of the shapes was a midnight blue while the other was pink. Giggling echoed in the distance as the shapes got bigger. Heading towards them was the younger diarch of Equestria and a pink earth pony with a poofy mane and tail. The former was gliding at a gentle pace and the latter was hopping alongside her. A gentle gust blew past Twilight and Cadance as they passed by. The pink pony turned her head.

“Hi Twilight! Hi Princess Cadance!” she called. “Bye Twilight! Bye Princess Cadance!” The lunar princess and the pink pony turned a corner, still laughing. Cadance turned her head to the corner.

“Was that Pinkie Pie?” she asked.

“That was,” Twilight answered. “She’s been coming here on a regular basis to see Princess Luna.”

The gears in Cadance’s mind started to turn.

“Has she now?” She turned to face Twilight. “How long has this been happening?”

“Since my coronation. Pinkie invited Princess Luna out with us after the celebrations, and since then, she’s been visiting on a daily basis. It’s nice of her to…” Twilight’s eyes widened. “P-Princess Celestia?” Twilight continued sputtering as footsteps approached her and Cadance.

A ding went off in the Crystal Princess’ mind and the words that Twilight was speaking faded into muted incomprehensible noise. A chesire grin grew on Cadance’s face and stars formed in her eyes.

~~~

Cadance pushed her way through a ruby coloured door with a kyanite heart embedded in it. Sitting in the room were models of nearly every settlement in Equestria. A small section of the room had a model of a desert with an apple orchard growing in it as well as a small western town. A series of train tracks connected it to a small bog and a village sitting beside a river. More tracks led to a mountain with a castle built on its side. On each of the models were small moving ponies roughly the size of a grain of rice. They interacted each other and talked as if they were alive.

Cadance approached the model castle. She tapped it causing the mountain and the other settings to disappear. The castle grew and more details became present. Buildings became more lifelike and the ponies on the model had clearer details on them. Cadence tapped the castle a second time. The city around it disappeared while the castle remained. She looked around the model castle. Standing around the gates and patrolling the castle walls were plastic unicorn and pegasus guards. Each of them was wearing golden armour that glistened. A bush located at the castle’s west wing rustled. Cadance pushed the bush aside and found a small plastic pink pony with a poofy mane and tail as well as a plastic midnight blue alicorn. Both of them had eager smiles on their faces and were facing a model barrack.

“Now, let’s see if I’m right,” Cadance mumbled. She lit up her horn and brought a spool of red thread towards her. She pulled a small amount of it and tied it to the pink pony’s foreleg. Cadance stepped back and waited. A few seconds later, the other end of the thread started to move. The thread slowly made its way to the alicorn before tying itself around her foreleg. Cadance smiled. “Perfect.” She closed her eyes and lit up her horn. Her body was covered in a cyan aura and she felt herself falling.

~~~

When she opened her eyes again, she stood in front of one of the barracks that housed the Royal Guard. Her body was translucent and a cyan glow radiated off her. Off to her right was the bush with both Pinkie and Luna staring at the barracks. Cadance approached them, both ponies not noticing her walking towards them.

“How long is it going to take?” Pinkie asked.

“Patience Pinkie,” Luna said. “It’ll happen soon. I promise.” Cadance stopped beside Pinkie as a muffled explosion went off inside the barracks. Muffled splats could be heard behind her. Both Pinkie and Luna fell backwards, laughing in hysterical glee.

“That was amazing!” Pinkie laughed. “I didn’t think you meant it when you said that nutmeg had explosive properties, and yet there it is!”

“A never ending prank war with Celestia teaches you a great deal,” Luna said between laughs.

Cadance lowered her head to Pinkie’s ear. “Pinkie,” she said. The pink pony immediately stopped laughing. She sat up and looked around in confusion. “You see that pony beside you? She’s pretty, isn’t she?” Pinkie opened her mouth. “Don’t speak; just think. You don’t want her to hear your inner most thoughts, do you?” Pinkie closed her mouth.

“Do I have to go to therapy to get rid of you?” Pinkie thought. “A lot of doctors told me that voices mean that I’m unbalanced, and not in the fun way either. The kind of unbalanced that makes ponies hurt each other.”

“No Pinkie,” Cadance giggled. “I’m the voice of love. I’m only here to help you with her. I ask again, do you think she’s pretty?” Pinkie turned to Luna. Luna was sitting up and her laughter was slowly dying out. The moonlight highlighted the curves on her body and made it look as if her coat was glowing. Her ethereal mane and tail blew in a non-existent wind giving her a majestic look.

Pinkie wistfully sighed. “Yeah, she is.” A love stricken smile bloomed on her face. “She’s the prettiest pony princess to ever live. While Celestia is like the sun, Luna is like the night sky. Celestia is beautiful because of a blinding brilliance she has, while Luna is beautiful because of a thousand subtleties that work together in harmony. But there’s more to her than beauty.”

“Oh? Like what, Pinkie?”

“She’s caring, she’s strong, and she’s one of the most passionate ponies I’ve ever met. Not only that, but she has a great sense of humour, and the most adorable smile that I’ve ever seen, and her voice is so soothing that it can calm a raging dragon, and she…”

“I know, Pinkie,” Cadance interrupted.

Pinkie sighed again. “I love her so much. I was actually planning to confess to her and asking her out tonight.”

“Why just confess?”

“What do you mean?”

“Actions speak louder than words, Pinkie.” Cadance’s body started to fade away. “Think about it.” Her body completely disappeared as Pinkie looked to where she was standing.

~~~

Cadance opened her eyes and stood above the model. The pink pony was looking to her left while the alicorn’s laughter was slowly dying. The alicorn wiped a tear away as the pink pony turned to face her. They talked to each other with happy expressions on their faces. The pink pony spoke with a smile causing the alicorn’s expression to shift. She shied away from the pink pony and rubbed a foreleg. The pink pony reached out and held the alicorn’s face. She spoke, her face moving closer with every word. The alicorn closed her eyes as their lips touched. Her wings wrapped themselves around the pink pony in an embrace. The barrack’s door opened and a unicorn covered in cream rushed out of it. He laid eyes locked on the kissing ponies and began shouting. The two ponies pulled back. The alicorn stood up and winked. The pink pony smiled and jumped on her back before the two flew in the sky.

Cadance smiled as she watched them fly to one of the castle’s spire. She tapped the castle for the third time, making the exterior walls disappear. Like with the outside, there were plastic ponies moving around. Her attention was focused on a purple alicorn sitting at a desk with piles of parchment around her. Cadance brought the red thread towards her again. She tied it around the alicorn’s horn and waited for it to lead her to the alicorn’s love.

Serenade

Carousel Boutique was empty save for a single table with a lit candle on top of it. Sitting at the table was a butter yellow pegasus. She had a martini glass full of a neon green liquid in front of her and a calm smile was on her face. A pair of spot lights turned on revealing a baby grand piano. At the piano’s keys was a pink earth pony mare with a poofy mane and tail. She had a bowler hat over her head that barely contained her wild mane. On top of the piano was a white unicorn mare wearing a sparkling red cocktail dress. The pink pony pressed a few keys on the piano causing the unicorn to smile.

“Somebody loves me, I wonder who,” she sang. “I wonder who she can be? Somebody needs me, I wish that I knew. Who she can be worries me.” The unicorn slid off the piano. She slowly approached the pegasus while the pink pony continued playing. The pegasus blushed as their performance continued.

“Every girl who passes by,” the pink pony sang. “I shout, ‘Hey, maybe you were meant to be my lovin’ baby.”

“Somebody loves me,” they sang together. “I wonder who.” The unicorn placed a hoof under the pegasus’ chin. “Maybe it’s you.” The unicorn held the final note as the last of the piano’s keys were played. Both the pink pony and unicorn had doting smiles on their faces.

“Happy Birthday, Fluttershy,” the unicorn said. “We love you.”

“I love you too, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. She held onto Rarity’s hoof while the pink pony hopped out of the piano bench. She landed beside Fluttershy and nuzzled her. Fluttershy returned the nuzzle. “I love you too, Pinkie. Thank you both.”

~~~

Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie sat on a checkered blanket. A picnic basket sat beside them and the remains of their meal was scattered around them. The sun was nearly under the horizon as they sat in a comfortable silence. Crickets began to sing while fireflies flew around. The moon was beginning its ascent and stars slowly dotted the sky. Fluttershy turned to Rarity. What little moonlight there was seemed to make the ivory pony glow. The sight took Fluttershy’s breath away, and judging by Pinkie’s reaction, the same effect happened to her. They shared a brief gaze before nodding. Pinkie began humming a simple tune causing Rarity’s smile to grow.

“Moonlight becomes you, it goes with your hair,” Fluttershy sang. “You certainly know the right thing to wear.”

“Moonlight becomes you, I’m thrilled at the sight,” Pinkie continued. “And I could get so romantic tonight.”

“You’re all dressed up to go dreaming, now don’t tell me I’m wrong,” Fluttershy and Pinkie sang in unison. “And what a night to go dreaming, mind if I tag along?

“If we say I love you, we want you to know.” Fluttershy wrapped a wing around Rarity and Pinkie nuzzled her. “It’s not just because there’s moonlight. Although, moonlight becomes you so.” Their voices faded into silence. Pinkie kissed Rarity’s cheek before cuddling against her. Fluttershy mimicked Pinkie and kissed Rarity’s other cheek. Rarity stroked Pinkie’s mane and leaned against Fluttershy. The three of them sat in their silence as the moon continued its ascent.

~~~

“I hate being stuck like this!” Pinkie wailed. She lay in her bed underneath a series of thick blankets. A moist towel was on top of her forehead and a thermometer was in her mouth. Fluttershy sat beside her on one side while Rarity was on the other. “Lousy sickness. I wish it could go away.”

Fluttershy pulled the thermometer out of Pinkie’s mouth. “Unfortunately sickness doesn’t work like that,” she said. “And judging by your temperature, you’ll be here for a while.”

“Is there anything that we can do to make you feel better?” Rarity asked.

A lewd smile stretched across Pinkie’s face. “Well there is one thing…”

“You’re sick, darling,” Rarity deadpanned. “While I would be the first to accept that idea with open hooves on a normal day, I cannot, no matter how hard I try, do that while you’re sick.”

“Resting is the best thing you can do right now, Pinkie.” Fluttershy removed the towel. She placed it in a nearby wash basin before returning it to her head. “Is there anything else we can do?”

“Can you sing for me?”

“As you wish, dear.” Rarity cleared her throat. “Somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moon light. Someone’s dreaming of me, and loving me tonight.” Pinkie’s smile shrank and her eyelids slowly drifted down.

Fluttershy rubbed Pinkie’s foreleg through the blanket. “Somewhere out there, someone’s saying a prayer. That we’ll find one another, in that big somewhere out there.”

Pinkie closed her eyes. Her smile was still fixed on her face as she gently snored.

“And when the night wind starts to sing its lonesome lullaby,” Fluttershy and Rarity sang together. “It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath that same big sky.” They got off the bed and slowly made their way to the exit. Pinkie continued snoring.

“Somewhere out there, if love can see us through,” they continued singing. “Then we’ll be together, somewhere out there, out where dreams come true.” They held the last note for a few moments. When they stopped, Pinkie was fast asleep. Fluttershy and Rarity smiled as they gently closed the door, leaving Pinkie to recover.

Terroir

Cheerilee couldn’t help but smile as she was working. The cerise mare stood in one of the many rows of a vineyard. She had a small wagon behind her full of baskets, each filled to the brim with spherical green grapes. Cheerilee would cut the grapes from the vines and place them in a basket. When all of the fruit was gone, she would take her wagon and baskets and move along the row. There was something about the repetitive work that Cheerilee found soothing. It was a drastic change from teaching, but it was one that she embraced rather than push away. She was busy cutting the last of the fruit from a row when her ear twitched.

“Cheerilee!” a voice called in the distance. Cheerilee turned her head and found the silhouette of an earth pony waving to her. “Come over here!” Cheerilee cut the final bunch off of the vine. She placed her basket into the wagon with the others before heading towards the silhouette with the fruits of her labour. As she got closer to the silhouette, details of the pony became clearer. A mulberry earth pony mare was waiting for her with a smile on her face.

“Hello Berry,” Cheerilee greeted. She unhooked herself from the wagon. “I just finished harvesting the last of the courbu grapes.”

“Your productivity in my fields astounds me,” Berry chuckled. “How is it you’re able to harvest so much in so little time?”

“It’s a lot easier than grading elementary school work, trust me.” Cheerilee looked out at the rows of vines. “And there’s something relaxing about working there. I can’t really put my hoof on what that is.”

“A je ne sais quoi quality?”

“Something like that. So, what’s up?”

Berry started walking away. “Follow me.” She gestured for Cheerilee to follow. “There are some things I need you to taste.” Cheerilee quickly followed Berry. The two walked in a comfortable silence towards a small cottage overlooking the vineyard. In front of the cottage was an oaken table with four wine glasses on it. Three were empty while one was full of water. Cheerilee stopped at one end while Berry walked to the other side. She pulled up a silver bucket full of ice and three dark wine bottles. Berry pulled one of the bottles out and opened it.

“I need you to taste this for me.” Berry poured dark red liquid from the bottle into a glass. “Tell me what you think of it.” She stopped pouring and Cheerilee picked up the glass. She held it up and tapped her chin. After a few brief moments, she started swirling the glass.

“Dark rich colour.” Cheerilee brought the glass to her stout. She closed her eyes and inhaled. “Smells like a variety of berries and… black pepper? Wait, this can’t be what I think this is.” Cheerilee sipped from the glass. She swished the liquid in her mouth a bit before swallowing.

“High alcohol content. Tastes of raspberries, blackberries, plums, and a hint of oak.” Cheerilee stared at the glass. “This is zinfandel.”

“That it is,” Berry acknowledged.

“Why do you have zinfandel? You hate zinfandel.”

“Yes I do,” Berry sneered. “I hate zinfandel with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I hate zinfandel like good writers hate the misuse of a comma or semicolon. I hate zinfandel like a Windigo hates love. If all of the drinkable alcohol disappeared from the world and zinfandel was the only kind of drink left, I’d choose being sober over drinking that swill.”

“Don’t you think you’re being over dramatic?”

Berry shrugged. “Meh. As for why I have it,” she continued. “There’s two reasons. The main reason I made it was to improve my wine making skills. If I can make good quality wine of a type I loathe, then I’ll improve.”

Cheerilee sipped from her glass again. “That’s fair.” She looked at the glass. “It’s actually really good. It’s the right age and the flavours are perfectly balanced. Is it five years old?”

“Actually, I made that out of the grapes you picked for me two days ago.”

“That’s impossible. If that’s true, how’d you age it so fast?”

“Let’s just say I made a deal with Father Time.” Berry took the glass from Cheerilee. She picked up the water filled glass and held it out. Cheerilee swiped the glass.

“If you didn’t want to tell me, you could have said so rather than being cryptic,” she pouted. Cheerilee sipped from the glass.

“I wasn’t being cryptic, I actually made a deal with Father Time.” Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “There’s an old unicorn in the village who goes by Father Time. He and I have an agreement. If I give him and his family a bottle of chardonnay, moscato, merlot, and gewürztraminer every week, he’d put continue casting a spell on my cellar to help speed up time.”

“That’s one of the smartest deals I’ve ever heard you make.” Cheerilee placed the glass on the table. Berry opened up another bottle and poured its contents into one of the glasses.

“I have my moments.” Berry motioned to the other glass. “Try this one and tell me what you think.” Cheerilee picked it up stared at the glass.

“The colour’s the same,” she said. Cheerilee took a quick whiff from it before drinking a small amount. She again swished it in her mouth. “This is another zinfandel.”

“Notice anything different?” Berry asked.

Cheerilee smacked her lips. “Actually, yes,” she admitted. “This one primarily tastes of blackberries and the smell of black pepper is stronger. The other one had a balanced mix of berries and plums as well as an aftertaste of oak while the smell of black pepper was barely there.”

“Damnit!” Berry screamed. “I just lost a bet.” Cheerilee motioned her to continue. “The grapes that you picked for the previous zinfandel are nearly identical to the ones in that one. They were planted at the same time, harvested at the same time, fermented at the same time, and given the same amount of water and sunlight. The only difference between them is the quality of the soil they grew in. I didn’t think that that would make a difference.”

Cheerilee opened her mouth. “I know,” Berry interrupted. “I’m a wine maker and I don’t believe in terroir. It’s strange, I know, you don’t have to say it. Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Just do it.” Cheerilee closed her eyes. The last bottle was removed from the bucket and its contents poured into the final glass. Berry placed it into Cheerilee’s hoof. “Drink up.” Cheerilee brought the glass to her lips. Immediately after its contents passed her lips, she spat it out.

“Are you trying to poison me?!” she shrieked.

“It’s only white zinfandel.”

“And it’s poison!”

“And you said I’m over dramatic.” Berry took the glass from Cheerilee and replaced it with one of the others. “Better?” Cheerilee drank half of the glass in a single gulp. She gasped for breath and nodded. “Good.”

Berry held out the white zinfandel filled glass. “Here’s hoping that my lost bet won’t come to bite me in the flank,” she said. “Cheers.”

“Is that really the best thing to toast to?”

“A toast a day keeps the doctor away.”

“That’s apples.”

“I dunno, a toast with a glass of red wine daily seems to be doing wonders for me.” Cheerilee shrugged before tapping her glass to Berry’s. The two brought the other’s poison to their lips with a smile on their faces.

Alternative Medicine

Deep within the Everfree Forest, Zecora stood in front of a cauldron full of water. With her was a white earth pony mare with a pink mane and tail. She was hard at work splitting a series of brown vines as Zecora watched over her.

“Be thorough in your work, Redheart,” she said. “What you are doing is the most essential part.”

“This medicine that you’re teaching me to make, what is it?” Redheart asked as she placed her split vine onto a pile. “I’ve never seen anypony use this combination of plants before.”

“A brew, like all medicine, designed to heal.” Zecora lit a gentle fire under the cauldron. She blew on it making it spread. “One that if used well, can make the user’s will like steel.”

Redheart placed the last vine on the pile. “Where did you learn to make this?”

“Before I made my home here, I was showed how by a tribe of deer.” Zecora picked up the vines, dropping them in the cauldron. “Redheart, drop the chakruna into our pot. And do not be conservative, we need a lot.” Redheart picked up a pile of leaves on Zecora’s work table. As she placed them in the cauldron, Zecora stirred its contents with a bamboo pole.

“Many desire this brew,” Zecora continued. “But the brew is not the only thing that will help you.

“You must learn the traditions and to sing in pure sound. Only then will the healing be profound.”

Steam started to rise up from the cauldron followed by a bitter smell. Redheart pinched her muzzle, turning away from the steam.

“Wait,” Redheart said confused. “Traditions and singing in pure sound? What does that have to do with healing?”

“To be properly healed with this brew, you must practice all of the traditions and follow through.” Zecora pulled the bamboo out of the cauldron. She turned to Redheart with a dark expression on her face. “You cannot be a tourist among the spirits.”

“That’s preposterous!” Redheart yelled. “If this medicine is as effective as you say it is, then it shouldn’t matter if the ceremony is followed. Spirits have nothing to do with healing! They’re just made up tales to scare foals.”

“You’re young, and don’t understand.” Zecora shook her head. “Taking this will bring one to the deepest parts of their mind. They will face their demons and fears. It would be unwise to go in unplanned.”

“So you’re saying that singing in pure sound and these ceremonies will help with the healing?” Redheart asked. Zecora nodded. “That’s absurd. Studies show-”

“That your methods are faulty,” Zecora interrupted. “Isn’t that why you came to me? Throwing pill after pill at a pony can only do so much. It does work as a crutch, but one cannot rely on it without losing touch.” Redheart was silent. She opened her mouth for a retort, but no words came out. Zecora looked into the cauldron.

Redheart followed Zecora’s example. Inside was a dark brown liquid with the leaves and dried vines barely visible. The bitter smell was stronger, making Redheart’s eyes water. “What’s this used to treat?” she asked.

“The mind, the body, and the soul. Any broken part of us to make us once again whole.”

“The songs in pure sound and the traditions, can you show me how to perform them?”

Zecora smiled. “What kind of a teacher would I be if I didn’t show you what to do?” she said chuckling. “Is there anypony that you and your friends have failed to help?”

“There’s this one patient.” Redheart rubbed her foreleg. “She hasn’t responded to any of the medication that we’ve given her and the sessions that the psychologists with her do nothing. I think she might be getting worse.”

Zecora placed the bamboo pole back into the cauldron. “Bring her here and we’ll give her a taste. Hopefully our efforts won’t go to waste." Redheart nodded and headed for the exit of Zecora’s home. As Redheart was leaving, Zecora picked up a ladle. She scooped a small part of the solution in the cauldron, pouring it into a nearby bottle. She placed the bottle near a stone tea cup on top of her work table. Zecora continued emptying the solution into bottle after bottle. Once she was done, she moved around her home, looking for the materials she would need to help heal a sick pony.

Author's Note

Ten hypothetical dollars (or the equivalent there of) to whoever correctly guesses what Zecora and Redheart are making.

Delivery Time

Twilight’s ear twitched as she followed a faint song down one of the many halls within Canterlot Castle. There was a slight spring in her step and an excited smile on her face. Every other step or so, the new princess would giggle to herself. She carried two pieces of parchment with her, each with a cheque attached to them. Twilight brought both in front of her making her smile grow. She stopped in front of a pair of mahogany doors with a treble cleft embedded into both doors. A muffled version of the song she heard came from the other side.

She pushed the doors open letting the music flow out of the room. Twilight looked to the center and found a baby grand piano with a purple baby dragon sitting at it. The baby dragon had his eyes closed and his fingers were dancing along the piano’s keys. Twilight approached the piano, her smile still in place.

“Hi Spike,” she greeted. Twilight stopped at the piano’s open lid. “I need you to-”

“Shhh,” Spike interrupted. “I’m almost done.” Twilight rolled her eyes as Spike continued playing. His fingers moved up the keys at a rapid pace. Each note he played became softer than the last. He pressed a high note with his middle finger before lifting his hands off the piano. Spike opened his eyes and turned to Twilight. “Okay, what’s up?”

Twilight held out the parchments. “I need you to send these out for me,” she said. “Preferably as soon as possible.”

“Not a problem.” Spike grabbed both parchments. He took in a deep breath, holding the parchments in front of him. Twilight gently pushed his hands down making him exhale. “Something wrong?”

“Could you send them one at a time?” Twilight asked. Spike raised an eyebrow. “They’re going to different places.”

“Could’ve said that first,” Spike muttered. He held one of them up and blew a gentle emerald flame on it. The parchment burned into purple sparkling ash. Twilight squealed as the sparkles flew away. “What was that?”

“Nothing, send the next one.”

Spike shrugged and did as he was told. Like with the first burned parchment, Twilight squealed as it flew off to its destination. “Seriously? You’ve seen me send things before and you didn’t react like a fan filly meeting their idol. What’s gotten into you?”

“I just made a couple of orders.” Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. “Nothing to freak out about.”

“Except it is.” Spike deadpanned.

“Okay it totally is!” Twilight brought her hooves to her mouth in attempts to stop herself from squealing. It unfortunately failed. “I ordered a couple of things from CS Toys and made a pre-order! I can’t wait to get them!”

“I can see that.” Spike shuffled through his sheet music. He read through each sheet, attempting to find a song he wanted to play. Off in the corner of his eye he saw Twilight sitting beside the piano. Spike looked up at her. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting,” Twilight answered.

“Waiting for what?”

“My orders.”

“Are you seriously going to sit in front of me waiting for the packages you just ordered?”

“Maybe.”

“Doesn’t CS Toys take seven to ten days to deliver overseas?”

“What’s your point?”

Spike smacked his forehead. “Okay,” he groaned. “Question. What’s coming here that’s got you so excited.”

“A couple of things actually. A few gashapon toys, a few candy toys,” Twilight said, counting on her hoof. “Those sort of things.”

“That can’t be what’s got you excited. You’ve ordered gashapon and candy toys before without being this excited.”

“You’re right! It isn’t!” Twilight giggled. “I just pre-ordered the HG Heroes Sentai EX: Bravest in History Set! That’s an exclusive that should not be seen on Equestrian shores! But I’m getting it! And I’m going to be getting Bunpachy!” She hopped around the piano happily giggling to herself.

“Aren’t you a little too old for toys?” Spike asked following the prancing princess. “I mean, I have an excuse since technically I’m still a child, but you’re an adult. And a princess to boot.”

Twilight landed beside Spike’s bench. “There is no age limit on fun.” She ruffled Spike’s fins. “I believe a certain dragon told me that when he introduced me to those Neighponese children’s shows.”

Spike pushed her hoof away. “Heh. That’s true. Then again, I’d be a hypocrite for looking down on you for buying toys based on those shows. I’ve bought my fair share.”

“That reminds me, thanks for pushing me down this rabbit hole. Now I have to budget for toys as well.”

“You’re welcome.” Spike placed five sheets on the piano. He pressed a few of the keys and closed his eyes. “Didn’t Bunpachy come in the package you received last week?”

“Nope,” Twilight said shaking her head. “I got the cyan ankylosaurus with a hammer tail last week. I ordered the pachycephalosaurus with a hard hat and a flail on his tail.” Spike gave Twilight an unamused look as he played. “I got Ankydon last week.”

“I see.” Spike continued playing his song, his fingers gliding over the keys.

“I also ordered something for you from Mandarake. Something I think you’ll like.”

“Oh?” Spike asked, still playing. “And what would that be?”

Twilight tapped her chin. “Oh, nothing special. Just a Complete Selection Belt,” she said shrugging. Spike’s fingers dropped on the piano’s keys like a dead weight. A deep bass note vibrated in the room. The baby dragon slowly turned his head to Twilight with wide eyes.

“A Complete Selection Belt? Really?” he asked. Twilight nodded. Spike leapt off the bench, grabbing Twilight in a vice grip of a hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Which one did you order? Is it Accel’s? Or the Lost Driver? Wait, is it the Double belt? Please tell me it’s the Double belt.”

“Can’t… breathe,” Twilight choked out. Spike let go making Twilight gasp. “Thank you. And that’s a surprise.” Spike grinned and sat down in front of Twilight. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for your packages with you. Wait, are you using me as an address or are you using the castle’s mailing address?”

“The castle’s.”

“Then maybe we should wait in Celestia’s chamber. That is where all the castle’s mail comes via dragon fire.”

“Good point.” Twilight got up and headed towards the exit with Spike following close behind. “By the way, the new episodes are out. Want to watch with me?” A cloud of dust sat where Spike once was. Twilight blinked.

“Come on, Twilight!” Spike’s voice called from out of the room. “New episodes! Let’s go!” Twilight giggled as she followed after Spike at a leisurely pace.

Ship Ship Hooray!

Dozens of young unicorns spilled out of the doors of the School for Gifted Unicorns. They all cheered as they spread across a playground. Some brought equipment with them ready to play a game while others carried a small boxed lunch. Among fillies and colts enjoying their time outside, two ponies cantered towards a bench, a conversation flowing between them. A dark purple filly with two round lanterns on her flanks and a blank flanked pink alicorn filly each were carrying a box. The purple filly had a lilac mane and tail with a gold stripe in them while the alicorn had three colours in hers. They sat down as their conversation continued.

“I swear that our class gets longer and longer every day,” the purple filly said. “It’s almost like Ms. Psyga is making time slow down somehow.” She opened her box, pulling a tangerine out of it.

“Come on, Kimono,” the alicorn giggled. She pulled a bun with custard on it out of her box. “It’s not that bad. Ms. Psyga’s classes are fun!”

“You can’t honestly believe that, Cadance. Her class doesn’t make any sense,” Kimono deadpanned. “I mean really, Amore Arcane Arts? What place does love have in magic?”

“Love is a very powerful emotion,” Cadance remarked. “And magic is powered by emotion.”

“Who’d use love to power their magic? It’s a weird emotion that makes ponies act all loopy.”

“And it’s always fun to see ponies doing that.”

“You and I have very different definitions of fun. And isn’t watching love struck ponies- what was that word that my dad used, voyeuristic?”

“Really, Kimono. You have to look at it from a different…” Cadance stopped as she looked up above the walls surrounding the School. Kimono waved a hoof over Cadance’s eyes. Cadance pointed to the top of the walls. “Kimono! Look!” The purple pony followed the end of Cadance’s hoof. Walking along the wall were two of the Royal Guards, one unicorn and one pegasus. They were beside each other and having a casual conversation. Occasionally, the unicorn would gesture wildly making the pegasus laugh. The two stopped and leaned against the edge of the wall with their conversation continuing. Cadance squealed. “That’s so adorable!”

“Wait, what?” Kimono asked dumbfounded. “It’s two guards talking to each other. What’s so special about that?”

Cadance nudged Kimono. “Come now, you have to be able to see it.”

“See what?” Kimono looked to Cadance who had a goofy grin on her face. She turned to the guards and saw one of them wrap a foreleg around the other’s neck. Her head went back to Cadance who squealed louder when she saw the sight. The gears in Kimono’s mind clicked together. “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. Cadance, it’s not what you think. There’s nothing between those two.”

Cadance gasped in shock. “How can you say that? Every day since the semester started, they’ve been walking together and talking!” she excitedly explained. “Not only that, but it’s clear that sometimes that the unicorn tells stories that the pegasus wouldn’t enjoy, but he makes an effort to listen anyways. And the unicorn always seems to be more animated and alive when he’s with that guard. Do you know that means?”

“That they’re really good friends and that the pegasus is trying to be polite?”

Cadance grabbed Kimono’s cheeks. “It means they’re in love! Sweet wonderful love! Isn’t it great?!” She let go of Kimono in favour of squealing into her hooves. “It’s just so cute!”

“Or it could mean that they’re friends who enjoy each other’s company.” Kimono rolled her eyes. “Not every action that two ponies do mean that they’re in love.”

“They’re in love, darn it!” Cadance screamed. “Just watch. By the time lunch is over, those two are going to do something that only couples do.”

“Bet you five bits that they won’t.”

“Keep your money, you’re definitely going to lose.”

Cadance and Kimono ate their lunches as they watched the guards. The guards’ original conversation had reached its end, leaving them to their break. Another started between them as they removed their helmets. Part of the unicorn’s mane fell over his eyes as his helmet was taken off. The pegasus reached out with his forelegs, parting part of his companion’s mane. Cadance squealed again making Kimono roll her eyes.

“Are you going to squeal every time something like that happens?” Kimono asked.

“I can’t help it, it’s just so adorable and intoxicating!” Cadance cheered. “I love love!”

“But they’re not…”

“They’re in love, darn it! Watch.” Cadance held her hooves up. Unknown to her and her companion, her horn gave off a gentle blue aura. Two barely visible hearts floated up from her horn towards the guards. “Now.” The hearts fused with the guards making them dazed. Cadance clapped her hooves together. “They’ll kiss.” A faint flash went off behind both of the guards. They looked at each other with half lidded eyes and sultry smiles on their faces. The unicorn placed a hoof under the peagus and said something. The pegasus chuckled and leaned in. Both ponies’ lips connected.

Stars sparkled in Cadance’s eyes as she squealed at an unheard frequency. “See?!” she said pointing. “See?! See?! I told you that they were in love!”

“Lucky guess,” Kimono stated. “You also told me that Aries and Pieces are in love. And all they do is argue with each other.”

“Don’t you see, Kimono?” Cadance giggled. “All that bickering is because there’s so much romantic tension between them that that’s the only way that they can express their love! All they need is time, and soon they’ll be drowning in love!”

“Sounds like a terrible fate.” A bell rung, making all of the fillies and colts turn to the school. They packed up their things and headed towards the nearest door. “Well, better get back. I guess I owe you five bits.”

“Keep your money,” Cadance said, packing her box. “I don’t want it. Love is its own reward.”

“Whatever you say. Do we have Practical Casting next or Alchemy?”

“I think Alchemy.”

Kimono nodded and followed the crowds with her box in tow. Cadance followed after her friend. She was too busy making romantic matches in her mind with her classmates that she didn’t notice the small silver flash on her flanks. Newly formed on her flanks was a blue gem in the shape of a heart hovering above two gold wires. Cadance giggled to herself, each paring in her mind looking more adorable to her than the last.

Foundation

Pinkie stood in front of a chalkboard at the back of Sugar Cube Corner with a stern yet loving expression on her face. She was wearing a white dress shirt with a black sweater vest over it. A pair of dark rimmed glasses sat over her eyes and her ordinarily wild mane was tied back in a ponytail. Pinkie tapped on a small podium in front of her, looking at the small audience she had. Sitting at three tiny desks a few feet away from the podium were two foals, one dark yellow and a unicorn and one beige and a pegasus, and a baby alligator. The foals were giggling to each other while the alligator stared off into space.

“Alright class, quiet down,” she said. The foals looked straight up at Pinkie. The alligator continued to stare off in space. “Now, before we begin, we have to take attendance.” Pinkie pushed her glasses up as she shuffled through sheets on her podium. “Pumpkin Cake?” The unicorn foal cheered.

“Pound Cake?”

The pegasus foal giggled.

“And finally Gummy.”

As usual, the alligator stared off into space.

“Excellent, we’re all here,” Pinkie continued. “Welcome to your first day of the Pinkie Pie School of Comedy. I’m the founder of our wonderful school, Pinkie Pie. So let’s begin with the obvious question. What is comedy?” Gummy gurgled. “Excellent observation, Gummy! Yes, comedy is subjective. Every culture, every species, and every individual has a different idea of what comedy is. But at the very foundation, comedy is what makes someone laugh. What that is though can vary. However, that’s for a later lesson. We still haven’t answered that question and to do so we must know what tragedy is. Who knows what it is?”

Pumpkin raised her hoof. “Yes, Pumpkin?” Pinkie asked. Pumpkin said a few indecipherable words. “Well, yes, it is the opposite of comedy, but that wasn’t what I was looking for."

“There was a great comedian who perfectly summarized the nature of comedy and tragedy.” Pinkie turned around. She grabbed a piece of chalk and began drawing. “He said: ‘tragedy is when I cut my hoof. Comedy is when you fall in an open sewer and die'.” Pumpkin and Pound gasped. “I know it sounds horrible, but there is a lot we can learn from this.” Pinkie stepped to the side, pointing to drawings she made. On the chalkboard were two crudely drawn four panel comics. In one a pegasus had a bucket of water drop on their head and they were alone. In the second the same happened, only in the last panel there was a group of ponies laughing at them.

“What can you draw from these comics?” she asked. Pound raised his hoof and spoke. Pinkie giggled. “Other than they’re poorly drawn?” Her audience was silent. “Comedy and tragedy is all about perspective.”

Pinkie circled the first comic. “In this one, we see that the pegasus is alone, and therefore him having the water drop on him is a tragedy because it happens to him. It’s individual and selfish.” She tapped her chalk against the second comic. “In this one, the pegasus isn’t alone, and there are others. They’re laughing at him because it didn’t happen to them, and therefore it’s funny. For something to be comedic, one has to be put in a position that lessens or de-normalizes them. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s strange, but that’s how it works. And that brings us to the main lesson for today.” Pinkie flipped her chalkboard over. On the other side was a single word written in bright pink chalk. She hit her hoof against the board.

“Pranks,” she said with a toothy smile. “Pranks fully embody the concept of comedy because the punch line always comes at another’s expense. Whether it’s joy buzzer to the hoof, somepony sitting on a whoopee cushion, or something as complex as a Rube Goldberg machine designed to throw a pie to the face, all of the punch lines involve humiliating a pony in one way or another.” Pumpkin and Pound began whispering to each other. Gummy had inexplicably acquired some paper and a pen, writing down Pinkie’s every word.

“While pranks come at another’s expense and dignity, there is one thing that you should always remember.” Pinkie’s expression darkened. “Never completely humiliate your prankee. Always leave them with dignity. Otherwise, you’ll be a bad pony.” Pumpkin and Pound nodded. Pound silently flew out of his desk while Pumpkin lit up her horn. A translucent version of Pound shimmered into existence where he once sat.

“Always know your prankee,” Pinkie continued, not noticing Pound’s disappearance. “While your prank does humiliate them, make sure that they’ll be able to laugh along with you. It’s always better to have them laughing with you, that way they’ll share your joy. Any questions?” Pumpkin, the image of Pound, and Gummy shook their heads. Pumpkin silently snickered as she saw her brother slowly descend behind Pinkie with a cream pie in his hooves. “Is something funny, Pumpkin?” Said foal shook her head while trying to keep a straight face.

“Good, then class is dismissed.” Pinkie turned around to be met with a pie to the face. Pumpkin pointed her hoof at Pinkie and laughed. Pound dropped the pie tin, joining his sister in laughter. Gummy remained stoic through the affair. Pound fell to the floor clutching his sides as Pumpkin hit her hoof against her desk. Pinkie blinked. She lifted Pound up, gently carrying him to his desk. Pinkie set him down as his and Pumpkin’s laughter was fading away. She glared at them as they wiped their tears away. The twins looked up at her, the colour instantly draining from their faces seeing her expression. They cowered away from Pinkie as she held her gaze.

A beat passed as Pinkie wiped cream away from her face. A wide smile replaced her glare as she began giggling. “Oh, you two are naturals,” she laughed. “I’m sure you’ll make great pranksters one day. High hoof!” Pinkie held her hoof out to the twins. They grinned at her, tapping their hooves against her’s.

Confirmation

A small flickering flame on a candle made its way towards a clubhouse on a secluded part of Sweet Apple Acres. Holding onto a candleholder was a dark orange earth pony filly with a two toned pink mane and tail. On her head was a turquoise nightcap hanging over her mane while a sleepy expression painted her face. The filly yawned as she opened the clubhouse’s door. Inside a white unicorn filly with a purple and pink mane sitting down and looking as if she was vibrating. Beside her was a plastic mug with steam rising out of it.

“Sweetie Belle,” the earth pony grumbled. “I hope this is important because I don’t like being woken up at three in the morning.” Sweetie Belle looked up. She smiled and spoke faster than the earth pony could understand. A white blur ran around the earth pony while still speaking. “Slow down would ya?”

Sweetie Belle stopped in front of the filly, still vibrating in her place. “Sorry, Babs,” she struggled to say. “I didn’t realize that I was talking so fast. It’s just that I was getting tired so I decided to drink that thing that Rarity drinks in the morning to help wake her up. It tasted awful at first butthenIstartedfeelinghappyandhyperand…”

Babs blew her nightcap and mane out of her eyes. “You’re doing it again,” Babs deadpanned. Sweetie Belle placed a hoof to her mouth. “What’s this about?”

“Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.”

“What about them?”

“Have you noticed anything weird about their behaviour?”

“Define weird.”

Sweetie Belle returned to her spot in the clubhouse as Babs joined her. She sipped from the mug, a satisfied sigh coming from her. “Just weird,” Sweetie Belle said. “Specifically, their behaviour around each other.”

“You mean how whenever we’re Crusading with things that involve contact that they always ‘accidentally’ come into contact with each other?” Babs asked. “Or how Apple Bloom always sighs a special sigh for whenever Scootaloo leaves for the day? Or how Scootaloo’s wings twitch whenever she catches sight of Apple Bloom’s smile?” Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped. “Yeah, I notice these things, so what? I thought I could do a Crusade within a Crusade by being really observant. Hasn’t worked yet though.”

“Yes!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “I’m not seeing things because I’ve been reading too many romance books! Do you know what this means?”

“That romance books are making you see things that aren’t really there?”

“No! Well, yes. But it means something else!” Sweetie Belle grabbed Bab’s face. The former’s eyes were bloodshot with a deranged look in them while the latter cowered from her. “It means that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo like each other.”

“Two questions,” Babs said, pushing Sweetie Belle back. “First: how long have you slept tonight?”

“I haven’t. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Babs rolled her eyes. “Second: so what?”

“So what?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “So what? You’re asking me so what if they like each other? It’s Apple Bloom and Scootaloo together! Do you have any idea how adorable that is?! I mean if they’re this cute when they’re not even involved with each other can you even imagine how cute they’ll be once they’re a couple?!” She brought her hooves over a grin stretching across her face. “Oh my gosh, that’s just adorable! I can’t!”

“Can’t what?”

“That’s not important!” Sweetie Belle became a blur once more. When she stood still, a piece of parchment and a quill sat in front of her. “What is is that we get them together as fast as possible. And we might even get our Cutie Marks in matchmaking.”

Babs yawned. “That sounds like a plan, but can it wait until morning?”

“No!” Sweetie Belle quickly scratched along the parchment. “We have to get as many plans created as possible.” Babs walked to a nearby chest. She opened it up, pulled out a pillow, and returned to her spot beside Sweetie Belle. She laid her head down and blew out her candle.

“Here’s an idea,” she said, eyes slowly closing. “You plan this out and I sleep. Then when you fall asleep, I’ll plan. If you’re okay with this, say nothing.” Sweetie Belle ignored Babs in favour of her writing. “Great.” Babs closed her eyes and drifted off into slumber. Her sleep was relatively peaceful with the occasional sip and mumble waking her up. After what felt like thirty minutes to Babs, she heard a thud against the wooden floor. Snoring followed soon after allowing both Crusaders to sleep.

Presents

For the most part, Princess Luna had three main responsibilities: raise/lower the moon, visit the dreams of troubled ponies, and hold Night Court. Controlling the moon took a matter of minutes while Night Court most of the time barely lasted two hours due to the few who attended. Dream walking took very little time because in every dream, time was distorted. An hour within a dream would only be a minute in reality. Besides going over government documents that spilled over from the Day Court, Luna was usually left alone to her own devices for the majority of the night. Her time was spent exploring Canterlot’s night life, teaching herself new skills, and recently with a particular pony.

Luna sat at her throne with her hoof rapidly tapping the ground. Night Court had seen an abnormal number of visitors and all of them wanted Luna to speak to them. A green earth pony was standing at the base of her throne and droning on and on. Luna would hear bits and pieces of his speech but her attention was focused on a clock above the room’s entrance. The pony in front of Luna coughed.

“Your Highness,” he said. “Do you have any objections to my plans?”

“Hmm?” Luna looked down at the pony. He had a dejected look on his face. “Oh, oh! Um, your proposal has many layers to it, and it will take a bit of time for me to come to a complete decision.” The pony smiled before bowing. He turned and headed towards the exit.

“You had no idea what he was talking about do you?” the guard standing to the right of the throne asked.

“I heard fragments of his speech,” Luna admitted. “And I wasn’t lying to him, it will take time to come to a decision.”

“Sure it will.” The other guard rolled his eyes. “Anyways, that’s the last of the visitors for Night Court.”

“YES!” Luna’s voice boomed with the Royal Canterlot Voice. She hopped out of the throne and ran to the exit. “Well, gentlecolts, it’s been a pleasure but I have somewhere to be.”

“Wait!” Luna stopped in her place. “Your Highness, you have one other task before you’re free to go.”

“I’m pretty sure the dreamers of Equestria will be fine for a single night.” Luna turned around. “Besides, today is special.”

“We are aware,” the left guard said. “But just as it is our duty to stand at your side during Night Court, it is your duty to check on the dreamers of the country.”

“Fine,” Luna sighed. “But I’m sure that they’ll be fine.” Luna closed her eyes. She took a deep breath before her ethereal mane and tail started flickering like a fire. Her eyes opened and they were glowing a light shade of blue. Luna turned her head around the room. She stopped and the blue in her eyes darkened. Her mane and tail returned to their normal state and her eyes returned to their normal colours. She clenched her teeth together.

“Fantastic,” she mumbled. “Gentlecolts, could one of you get me the Cone of Silence? It should be behind throne.” The guard on the right side of the throne looked behind it. He shuffled around before returning with a large silver cone. He tossed it in the air and Luna caught in in her magical grip. She placed the cone over her head and face. The guards heard her take a deep breath before they saw the cone shake violently. They watched with wide eyed curiosity as the cone vibrated on Luna’s head. The cone stopped vibrating and Luna removed it from herself. She placed it beside her with a calm expression on her face. “Thank you. Now, you two are relieved of your duties for the night. Farewell.” Luna lit up her horn. Her mane and tail grew in size and wrapped themselves around her. When her body was completely covered, the cocoon made out of her mane and tail shrank. It kept shrinking until it faded away with a gentle twinkle of light.

“What was that about?” the right guard asked. His companion shrugged in response.

A small flicker of light appeared in a dark expanse. It grew into a sparkling cocoon made out of purples and dark blues. The cocoon unraveled itself leaving Luna in her original state.

“Okay,” she whispered to herself. “Find the dreamer, deal with their problem, and then head straight to her. It shouldn’t be too hard.” Luna started walking with her hooves echoing on a nonexistent stone floor.

“Hello!” she called. “I am Princess Luna, guardian of dreams. You have no need to be afraid.” A spotlight turned on a few feet away from her. Sitting in the center of it was a pink earth pony mare with her head down. Luna’s eyes widened and she ran towards the mare.

“Pinkie!” She stopped in front of Pinkie. “What’s wrong? What terrible thing is haunting you?” Pinkie raised her head. She opened her eyes and a bright red ribbon appeared on her chest. A smile that was too big for her appeared on her face.

“Hi Lulu!” she happily said. “Happy Birthday!”

“Pinkie, dear, now isn’t really the time to…” Luna stopped when she saw the ribbon. “Why are you wearing a ribbon?”

“Because that’s what you’re supposed to wrap presents in,” Pinkie answered. “Well, you’re supposed to put wrapping paper on them first, but I think I’d look silly wearing both wrapping paper and a bow. Don’t you?”

“I don’t understand,” Luna said dumfounded. “My magic told me that there was a dreamer out there who was troubled, but you seem perfectly fine.”

“I am troubled!” Pinkie waved her forelegs in a frantic manner. “And you’re causing it. You haven’t opened the present I’ve given you.”

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I cannot take your present with me back to reality.”

“Your present is waiting for you back there.” Pinkie stood up. She placed a hoof under Luna’s chin. “And there’s more waiting for you.”

“More?” Pinkie gently pulled Luna to her level. She brought a hoof over her ear and started whispering. Luna’s eyes widened and her wings flared opened. Her face had a gentle blush on her face as she pulled herself back up. “I… I…” Pinkie placed a hoof on Luna’s lips.

“Shh,” she said. “All you have to do is accept all of the presents I’m giving you.”

“I can do that.”

“Great!” Pinkie cheered. “I’ll wake up and I’ll give them to you.” She took a few steps back away from Luna before her body faded to dust. The spot light turned off leaving Luna alone in darkness. The blush was still on her face and her wings were still flared out. She shook her head before an eager smile replaced the blush. Luna’s horn lit up causing her mane and tail to wrap themselves around her. Her cocoon once again shrunk and faded away with a twinkle of light.

Rendezvous

Like always, the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres were quiet as Big Macintosh walked through them. Crickets silently chirped around him as fireflies lazily drift in the air. He smiled at the sight, following one make its flight. Nighttime was one of his favourite times to visit the orchards. The silence would help melt away his daytime worries while the crickets and fireflies gave the farm a little touch of beauty that he found was missing while the sun was up.

Macintosh shifted the stalk of grain in his mouth as he exited a row of trees. With his walk done, he headed towards his home. Along the way he noticed that one of the rooms had a light on. The window for that room opened up before a long white rope was thrown out of it. Upon closer inspection, Macintosh found that the rope had been made out of multiple bed sheets tied together. A yellow filly on the cusp of adulthood with a red mane and tail climbed out of the window sill. She blew the light out, carefully climbed down her makeshift rope. The filly silently grunted with each part of her descent. Macintosh smirked causing his grain to shift. He stopped a few feet away from the rope, facial expression changing to a neutral tone. The filly fell on her flanks with a dull thud.

“Ow,” she said standing. “I need to work on my landings.” The filly turned around and galloped forward with an eager smile on her face. She bumped into Macintosh, falling back on her flanks.

“Ow,” she groaned. The filly shook her head. “What did I bump into this…Big Mac!” She stood up, eyes darting back and forth. “What a nice surprise! I didn’t expect to see you out here, even though you go for a nightly walk in the orchards.” Macintosh peered down at his sister. His eyes narrowed slightly.

Apple Bloom turned to her rope. “What, this thing?” she asked. “I was, uh… testing out a fire escape plan that I came up with! Yeah, that’s it.” The grain shifted slightly.

“That is the truth! I swear!” Apple Bloom’s eyes darted back and forth. “I’m not sneaking out. Why would you think something like that?” Macintosh blew a strand of hair out of his eyes. “That’s crazy! I’m not sneaking out to see somepony, does that seem like something a good filly like me would do?”

Apple Bloom blinked. She looked up at her brother with determination burning in her eyes.

“Actually no,” she said, stomping her hoof. “I’m not a filly any more, I’m a young mare. As such, I should be free to see whoever I want at whatever time I want. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Apple Bloom kept a steady gaze on her brother. Macintosh’s expression remained completely blank while his sister’s determination radiated off her. A few moments locked in their staring contest were enough to make Apple Bloom shrink away. “Please don’t tell Applejack.” Macintosh shrugged. He looked away, innocently whistling.

Apple Bloom smiled. She walked around him before breaking out into a gallop. “Thanks Mac,” she called. “I’ll be back before sunrise!” The red pony waved at his receding sister. When she disappeared from his sight he entered his home. Macintosh walked through the halls into his kitchen. Inside, he found his other sister sitting at the table with two mugs of cider in front of her. She looked up at him with a smile.

“Hey Mac,” she greeted, sliding one of the mugs to him. He caught it and sat down. “Enjoy your walk?”

“Eeyup,” he said.

“Anything interesting out there tonight?”

“Eeyup.” Macintosh sipped from his mug. Applejack chuckled.

“Does she still think we don’t know about her sneaking out?”

“Nnope.”

“Let me rephrase, does she still think I don’t know about her sneaking out?

“Eeyup.”

“She’s growing up so fast,” Applejack sighed. “I didn’t think she’d start sneaking out so early. I was a few years older than her when I started doing that. How come you never snuck out?” Macintosh grinned.

Applejack punched the stallion’s shoulder. “You have to tell me how you managed to get them to come to you.” She paused with a thoughtful expression. “Actually, that explains the random saxophone music I’d hear in the middle of the night.” Macintosh choked on his cider.

“What? Didn’t think we could hear you?” Applejack mocked. “It’s a good thing that the music drowned out what you were really doing. Otherwise I’d need therapy.” Macintosh slid down the seat, thankful that his coat hid his blush.

“So,” Applejack continued. “How long do we wait until we talk with her? Cause I will admit, her sneaking out like that is kinda adorable.” Macintosh sat back up. He shifted the stalk of grain. “If she’s doing this, she won’t come to us.” Macintosh smiled. He pointed his hoof up to Apple Bloom’s room.

A mischievous grin crossed Applejack’s face. “Alright, but I get to play bad cop.”

Urban Legends

Dear Auntie Luna,

Your suspicions were indeed correct. The first time I saw her threads, I thought I was hallucinating. It is possible to have multiple threads but the rare times that happens a pony has two threads coming from them. I followed one of her threads and found that the pony on the other end too had five threads coming from her. I followed a third and again found five threads from the other mare.

Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, but three times is a pattern. I thought you were insane when you suggested that all six of them were connected to each other. After all, love is selfish in its own nature. Seeing them together with their threads all tangled and connected though has convinced me otherwise.

There are no changes to the current plan. However, I have modified the spell to allow ponies to hear each pony at the end of their threads rather than one. While only a year old to this day, the rumour and the spell attached to it has led to a large number of happy couples being born. To my knowledge, it hasn’t been heard outside of my micro nation. If we want the plan to work, it would be best if you shared it with Twilight as soon as possible. And if my timing is right (which is usually is) you should be getting this when the spell activates. It’s time to put our plans into action. Best of luck.

Love,

Cadance

~~~

Luna held a letter out in front of her as she walked down one of the halls of Canterlot Castle. She smirked as she finished the second paragraph.

“It wouldn’t be the first time ponies thought I was insane,” she mused. “Part of my name is after all used in a word to describe a crazy pony.” Luna continued reading the letter as footsteps approached her. She briefly looked up from her reading and found Equestria’s newest princess. Multiple pieces of parchment were floating in her magical grasp as a quill scratched on one of them. Luna stopped in her place. “Twilight Sparkle, it is good to see you.”

Twilight looked up from her work. “Hello Princess,” she greeted. Twilight stacked her parchment and put her quill behind her ear. “Do you have a bit of time? There are a few documents that have spilled over from the Night Court that I’d like you to see.”

“In a little while.” Luna pushed her letter out in front of her. “My niece sent me a letter telling me of an interesting rumour that you might be interested in.”

“A rumour?” Twilight asked. “What kind of a rumour could Cadance think I’d be interested in?”

“There is an urban legend that has been going around the Crystal Empire for the past year,” Luna explained. She put a hoof to the letter, running it across its surface. “Cadance says that this rumour involves something called the Midnight Station.”

“Midnight Station? What is it?”

“If you let me finish, you’ll know,” she continued. Her hoof continued moving along the surface. “According to her, there’s a radio station that can only be heard at midnight when there’s a full moon. To listen to it, you have to turn your dial to the furthest end where only static is heard. When a radio picks it up, you’ll hear your soul mate singing.”

“Intriguing, but I don’t think that it’s real,” Twilight remarked. “It’s possible to pick up stray signals with a radio, but it’s very unlikely that it’s a pony’s soul mate. After all, what urban legends are real?”

Luna rolled up the letter. “Well for one, I was,” she retorted. “My story was once an urban legend before it was turned into a fable. You of all ponies should know that all legends contain a grain of truth in them.” Twilight raised a hoof to counter. She stopped and put it on her chin with a thoughtful expression. Luna started walking past Twilight. “Since the rumour started, Cadance says that there have been a large number of ponies finding true love within her nation. Who better to know whether a rumour about love is true than the physical embodiment of love? Just some food for thought. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to raise the moon. There’s going to be a full one tonight so it’ll require all of my attention.” Luna continued walking down the hall with the letter in tow. She turned back and found Twilight still in the same position presumably thinking. A small ding went off around Twilight before she galloped down the hall. Luna chuckle as she continued down her path.

~~~

A grandfather clock read 11:58 as Twilight stood in her personal chambers. Her curtains were open allowing the pale light of a full moon flood her room. She stood in front of a table with a small radio on it.

“Okay,” she said. “Turn the dial to the end with static.” Twilight reached out a hoof, turning a dial to the right as far as she could. “Now to turn it on.” She flicked a switch bringing the radio to life. Loud static played through each of the speakers. Twilight’s ear’s flattened against her head. She turned another dial lowering the volume. The clock’s arms reached the top letting it chime. The chimes echoed a steady beat while the static continued its unstable rhythm. The static continued as the final chime rang.

Twilight stood for thirty seconds listening to the static. She sighed as she reached her hoof out. “Well that’s disappointing,” she murmured. “Then again, what was I expecting?” She touched the top of the switch as guitar music came from the speakers. Twilight stepped back.

“What the?”

The guitar continued with its chords as the radio began to sing.

“I don’t want to set the world on fire,” the radio sang in a sophisticated voice. “I just want to start a flame in your heart.”

Twilight gawked at the radio. “It’s true,” she gaped. “The rumour is true. I can’t believe…wait. That’s Rarity singing. Rarity’s my soul mate?!” A blush formed in her cheeks.

“In my heart I have but one desire,” an airy voice sang. “And that one is you, no other will do.”

The blush intensified. “Fluttershy?!” she screamed. “Why is Fluttershy singing here? Is she my soul mate or is Rarity? Or is it both of them?”

“I’ve lost all ambition for worldly acclaim,” a scratchy voice continued. “I just want to be the one you love.”

“And with your admission that you feel the same,” a country accented voice sang. “I’ll have reached the goal I’m dreaming of…”

“Believe me,” a bubbly voice finished. The bubbly voice continued singing the first verse but Twilight wasn’t paying attention. Her entire head had chosen to colour itself a deep shade of red.

“Wha…” she croaked. “What’s going on?” The song got to a narration where each of her friends’ voices said part of it. “The urban legend says that a pony hears their soul mate sing on this station. I heard Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. If a pony hears their soul mate and I heard five voices singing, then that means…”

“I don’t want to set the world on fire,” the five voices sang in unison. “I just want to start a flame in your heart.” They held the final note before fading into silence. The silence sat with Twilight as she stared at the radio. Defying all logic, her face became a deeper shade of red while the static from the radio returned. She held her hooves over her face hoping to hide herself.

On the other side of her chamber’s wall, the lunar princess had an empty glass pushed against the wall. Her ear was on it and her tongue was stuck out in concentration.

“If I heard all of my friends on a station that lets a pony hear their soul mate,” a muffled voice mused. “Then that means that all of my friends are my soul mates. How in Equestria is that even possible?!” Luna placed the glass down. She smiled as she lit up her horn. A piece of parchment and a quill was brought in front of her. She scratched the quill against the parchment.

Dear Cadance,

Phase one of our plan went perfectly. Twilight now knows who her soul mates are but she does not know what to do with that information yet. I suggest that we meet for phase two to help her with that.

How’s your schedule for Thursday?

Love,

Luna

Convoluted Methods

While every citizen in Equstria could trace their lineage back to the original three tribes that formed the country, very few could say their family existed beyond that point. Though there were no historical records of families, there were myths and tall tales involving certain ponies. Some of these stories had been exaggerated to the point of being absurd while others had a small grain of truth to them. The Apple family for instance, had a near limitless number of fables about their family and their exploits. There were just as many stories about them that were impossible as there were with truth in them.

Applejack’s hooves crunched in the snow as she trekked through the Frozen North. She carried a saddle bag and a basket while a scarf was covering her face. Following close behind her was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. Goggles were over her eyes and like Applejack; a scarf was tied around her neck. She grumbled as the wind picked up.

“Applejack!” she yelled over the wind. “How much farther do we have to go?” Applejack pulled a map from her saddlebag.

“Rainbow, I’m going to be honest with you,” Applejack answered. “I have no idea.”

“You what?!” Rainbow fumed. “Then how do you know we’ll get to where we’re going? Have you even been to this place?”

“I haven’t.” Applejack returned the map back to her saddlebag. “And I’ll know, all Apples know.” The two of them reached the peak of a hill before Rainbow flew in front of Applejack.

“So, you’ve decided to lead us up into the Frozen North to go to Celestia knows where, and you don’t even know where we’re going?!”

“Dash.”

Rainbow lifted her goggles. “No.” She pushed her nose to Applejack’s. “I’m not done yet. This entire trip you’ve been cryptic about what we’re going to do. All you’ve said was that it’s a surprise. Why are you keeping me in the dark about this? Are you planning to kill me or something?”

“Dash.”

“And if you are, how could you?! I thought I meant something to you AJ. Did that entire year of dating mean nothing to you? Or is that just part of some twisted joy you get when you finally kill your…” Applejack pushed the pegasus in front of her. Rainbow tumbled backwards and started rolling down the hill. She kept rolling until she stopped in a patch of grass. Rainbow pushed herself back on her hooves. “Oh, I see how it is. I mean just as much to you as this grassy field does. And it means that… wait, grassy field?” Applejack ran down the hill towards Rainbow. She skid to a stop in front of her.

Applejack let out a low whistle. “Well, that is a pretty sight,” she said.

“You’re hitting on me after pushing me down a hill?” Rainbow asked in disgust. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I wasn’t talking about you.” Applejack pointed behind the pegasus. “I was talking about that.” Rainbow turned around. Standing a yard away from them was a tree trunk that was as wide as a castle spire. The trunk stood nearly as tall as a mountain and its branches stretched across the sky. Along with leaves, there were fruits on all of the branches. The fruits all had different colours, from yellow, to red, to green, to brown. Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “I know, pretty ain’t she?” Applejack started walking towards the tree.

Rainbow flew into the air beside Applejack. “AJ, is that an apple tree?” she asked.

“Eeyup.”

“Why does it have more than one type of apple growing from it?”

“Because that’s the very first apple tree to ever be planted,” Applejack answered. “It’s something that the very first members of the Apple family planted at the beginning of time. At least, that’s the story that we’ve been told.” The two of them stopped at the base of the tree. Applejack opened her saddle bag and pulled out four cleats. She placed each one at the end of her hooves. “We’re here because I need to do some apple picking.”

“Can’t you just buck the tree to get the apples down?”

Applejack punched a hoof into the tree. “Do you really think that I’m strong enough to get the fruit out of the oldest and strongest apple tree in the world with a single buck?”

“You’re the strongest pony I know.”

Applejack placed another hoof into the tree.

“Flattering, but it won’t help with this.” She started climbing the tree. “I need a few apples from this tree.” Rainbow flew up.

“I’ll get them for you,” she said. “Just tell me what you…” Something jerked at her tail causing her to fall to the ground. She rubbed the base of her tail with a foreleg. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“For fun, and in this case because of tradition.” Applejack spat out Rainbow’s tail. “Sorry Rainbow, but only Apple family is allowed to pick the apples from this tree.”

“Come on! Let me help, we’ll get this done faster if we do.” Applejack turned and gave the grounded pegasus a pleading look. Rainbow sighed. “Fine.”

Applejack smiled before climbing the tree. She climbed to the closest branch and stood on it. At the end of the branch were a series of yellow skinned apples with tinges of orange and red. Applejack walked to the apples and picked two of them. She placed them in her basket before returning back to the trunk to climb. After climbing ten feet, she stopped on the trunk.

“Dash,” she called. “Do you see any red delicious apples?”

“What do they look like? Other than red?”

“They have a dark shade of red and have a tall cone like shape.”

“Up and to your left.”

Applejack looked to her left. Just as described, there was a cluster of red delicious apples hanging on a branch. She made her way to a branch below them before pulling a lasso out of her saddlebag. Applejack threw the lasso towards the lowest hanging apple and pulled it off the branch. She placed the apple into the basket before throwing the lasso again. The lasso wrapped around another apple and pulled it off the branch. It loosened its grip around the apple as it flew back to Applejack. Instead of landing in her basket, it flew past her. Applejack removed her cleats before jumping off the branch towards the apple. “Applejack!” Rainbow launched herself into the air. Applejack continued heading towards the apple with her hooves stretched out. She caught the apple just as Rainbow caught her.

“Hey Dash,” she said with a smirk. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Rainbow yelled. “Why would you jump off that branch just for that stupid apple? There are literally thousands of other fruits on this tree, why go after that one like that?”

“Because I knew that you’d catch me.” Applejack tossed the apple. “Besides this was the last one I needed.” Rainbow hovered a few feet off the ground before dropping Applejack. Applejack opened her saddlebag again and pulled out a small cider press.

“Okay, we got your stupid apples, is that all you needed to do here?” Rainbow asked frustrated.

“Not exactly.” Applejack placed one of the apples on the press. “We’re doing an Apple family tradition here.”

“You already did that.”

“This is a different one.” Applejack placed another apple on the press. “Do you want to know why I brought you here with me to get these apples?”

“A few answers would be nice,” Rainbow grumbled. “And don’t just say ‘tradition’. I want straight forward answers.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.” Applejack placed the last two apples on the press before she started to grind the apples. “In a lot of the fairy tales that we’ve been told as fillies, they talk about food. Whenever a character is well fed, it shows they’re loved. And whenever a character isn’t, it shows they’re not.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And that’s something that my family believes.” Applejack pulled a glass and a cocktail shaker out of her saddlebag. “When we keep each other fed, we show our love that way. That led to this tradition.” Applejack pointed to the tree.

“See, this tree has every type of non-magical apple growing on it. A lot of us actually share the names of these apples. A tradition we have is to pick our namesake from the tree and give it to whoever we love.” Applejack poured a brownish orange liquid from the press into the cocktail shaker. “In my case, I’m named after a kind of liquor that my ma made before we lost her. So, to show my love, I have to make some applejack and give it to whoever I choose.” Applejack shook the cocktail shaker. Rainbow blinked.

“Let me get this straight,” she began. “Your family has a tradition of picking apples they’re named after from the oldest apple tree in existence, or in your case make liquor from the apples, and giving it to the pony they love.”

“Eeyup.”

“And,” she continued. “Feeding them this specific apple shows they’re loved because they care for this pony.”

“That’s right.”

“So all of this is just an elaborate way to say ‘I love you’?” Applejack poured the liquid from the shaker into the glass with a smile on her face. She picked up the glass and held it out in front of her.

“That pretty much sums it up,” she said. Rainbow doubled over and started laughing.

“Wow,” she laughed. “That is one of the most elaborate traditions I’ve ever heard.” Her laughter died out as she wiped a tear away from her eyes. The smile on her face changed from one filled with mirth to one filled with love. She reached out and took the glass.

“But it’s one I can’t hate.” Rainbow sipped from the glass. “Thanks for going out of your way to do this for me, AJ. I love you too.”

Old Celebrations

A maid in the Princesses’ personal dining chamber lifted a plate from a cart in her magical grasp. A cylindrical white blob sat in the center. Two thin slices of mango sat beside the blob and a similar coloured sauce had been spread on the plate and blob in a zigzag pattern. She placed it at a table where the solar princess sat. She bowed her head in thanks and the maid did the same. As she lifted up her spoon for her dessert, the doors to the room opened. The younger of the two sisters walked in with a slight spring to her step. A serious expression on her face created a contradiction to her happy movements. She stopped at the other end of the table and sat down.

“Celly,” she greeted.

“Lulu,” Celestia said. “Would you care for some dessert?”

“I’d love some.” Luna turned to the maid. “Some mango pudding please.” The maid placed a plate with a yellow cone shaped blob on it in front of Luna. A small pyramid of raspberries sat on top of it and three leaves stuck out from the middle of the pyramid. The maid bowed before heading towards the exit. Luna picked up her spoon. “I was hoping to talk to you about something that the country has forgotten.”

“Forgotten?” Celestia asked. She placed her spoon in her mouth. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Luna. There are a lot of traditions that are no longer around anymore.”

“I’m not talking about traditions such as how we’re greeted,” the lunar princess said mouth full of pudding. “I’m talking about a certain holiday that we no longer celebrate.”

Luna carefully cut her pudding. “A holiday that has united our people in celebration. One where nothing but the celebration matters, and all of the walls set up by social classes break down because of it.”

Celestia smiled. “Ah yes, I remember that,” she said. “I loved that celebration. Everything was so perfect with egalitarianism existing for a very brief moment rather than being a fantasy.”

“Precisely.” Luna pointed her spoon at Celestia. “That is why I suggest that we bring it back. The bourgeoisie have forgotten that they are no different from everypony else. They need to be retaught that lesson.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” the solar princess said rolling her eyes. “They’re no different, and yet they believe that their titles and wealth makes them better somehow. Take those away and what do you they have?”

“Nothing, sister.”

“Exactly. You’re right though, they need to see that everypony is the same, even ponies like us who are supposedly infallible. And what better way than celebrating Kronia?”

“That’s exactly what I’m… wait.” Luna’s spoon stopped its journey. “Kronia?”

“It’ll be nice to not have our hierarchical relationship with our citizens again,” Celestia continued. “Perhaps they’ll treat us as ourselves rather than our titles when it happens.” She sighed as fantasies of titles disappearing entered her head. “I’ll make an announcement to everypony in…”

“I believe you’re mistaken in which celebration I want to bring back,” Luna interrupted. “I do not wish to bring Kronia back. I wish to reintroduce Saturnalia to our citizens.”

“Saturnalia?” Celestia asked in shock. “Why would you want to bring Saturnalia back? It was nothing but rampant hedonism.”

“So is Kronia,” Luna deadpanned. “Kronia happens in the summer just when the Summer Sun Celebrations happen, I doubt that the citizenry can take two days of constant celebrations. Saturnalia would be better because it happens in the darkest time of the year when light is needed.”

Celestia laughed. “And you think they can take a week of it? Luna, a day of hedonism is better than a week in the long run. Just think of the recovery time that we’d all need. Besides, Hearth’s Warming Eve falls just after it. I don’t think you’d want sick ponies to celebrate one of the most important celebrations in the country.”

“There are three days between it and the end of Saturnalia, that’s plenty of time,” Luna defended. “We need Saturnalia to break down the walls!”

“No, we need Kronia,” Celestia calmly declared.

“Saturnalia!” Luna said, voice shaper and slightly louder.

“Kronia.” Celestia’s voice grew louder.

“Saturnalia!” Luna screamed hooves hitting the table.

Celestia stood up. “Kronia!” she yelled slamming the table. The two sisters glared at each other, neither turning their gaze away. “We’ve reached an impasse.”

“Indeed we have,” the midnight blue alicorn agreed. “But we agree that the bourgeoisie need one of these celebrations to see that they are just like everypony else. I supposed that we can’t bring back both?”

“Not immediately; for now we can bring back one. And there’s only one way to decide.”

“Agreed.”

Both Celestia and Luna lit up their horns. The gems on their regalia flipped over revealing a thin disk. In Celestia’s regalia was a gold disk with a stylized sun on it while in Luna’s was a silver disk with a stylized crescent moon. They pulled their disks out, turning the pictures towards them. The disks fused together forming a gold and silver coin. The auras around the coin tossed it into the air. It landed on the table spinning on its edge. The two stared at it with intense concentration. As it slowed to a stop, they saw the moon facing up.

“Success!” Luna cheered. “Saturnalia returns!”

“Very well,” Celestia sighed as she sat back down. “I’ll make a Royal Decree in a few days to tell the country of their new holiday. Can you tell everypony in Night Court?”

“Of course.” Luna smirked. “Admit it, Celly, you’re a happy that Saturnalia is returning.”

“I would have been happier if Kronia returned. I have fonder memories of it,” she mumbled. “I barely remember what happened during Saturnalia.”

“How many of them do you remember?”

“And therein lies the problem, Luna. I wanted Kronia back so that I could remember the fun we had.” Celestia smirked. “Though I suppose this is a good thing. This is going to be the first Saturnalia in a long while that I’ll remember.”

Trip Report

Pinkie sat in an open room on a plush velvet couch. A lamp on an end table was beside her and six metal balls, all attached to the same frame. A coffee table with a box of crayons on top of a stack of paper sat in front of her. The pink pony happily hummed to herself while bobbing her head to her rhythm. The door beside her opened up and three ponies entered the room: a violet alicorn wearing a lab coat with her mane tied in a bun, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, and a butter yellow pegasus with her mane covering her right eye.

“Pinkie,” the alicorn said. “You’re going to have some of our friends participating with you.”

“Hi Doctor Princess Twilight!” Pinkie greeted. She gasped as her eyes fell on the pegasai. “Oh my gosh! Hi Dashie! Hi Fluttershy! Are you here because you’ve hit a block too?!”

“Hey Pinkie,” Rainbow said. “You could say that. I haven’t been able to think of a new routine for months.”

“What about you, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy rubbed her hoof along the carpet. “I’m scared.”

“Fears can’t hurt you, Fluttershy.” Pinkie offered a big smile. “All you have to do is laugh and they’ll-“

“If I laugh, he’ll get hurt,” Fluttershy interrupted. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Him?” Pinkie tapped her chin. “Who would you hurt by… oh.”

“He’s bigger,” the canary pegasus mumbled. “And he terrifies me, even though he’s my friend.” Pinkie leapt off the couch. She grabbed Fluttershy up in a soft yet firm hug. Fluttershy smiled and returned it.

Twilight coughed. “Ordinarily I’d join you two in a hug, but we’re burning daylight.” She gestured to the couch. “And you do not want to do this at night.”

“So,” Rainbow flopped onto it. “What exactly are we doing? I know that Pinkie and I are going to get a creative boost from it and it’ll help Fluttershy deal with Spike, but what we going to do for it? Write a test? Because I’d rather model for Rarity than write a test.”

“You’re not writing a test.” Twilight levitated a clipboard to her. She scribbled along its surface. “You’re going to be taking a chemical that’ll interact with your consciousness. And I’m going to administer the chemical as well as act as a facilitator to make sure you’re safe.”

“Chemical?” Fluttershy asked. “It’s not dangerous, is it?”

“It’s not toxic if that’s what you mean.” Twilight continued writing. “The chemical itself can’t hurt you. But your mind is a different story.” She placed the clipboard down. “You’ve all signed the release forms, but let me warn you. You may be taken to a state of pure bliss, or fall into the deepest darkest hell that you can imagine.” Fluttershy and Pinkie held each other, their eyes growing in terror. Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“But both of them are equally healing,” she continued. “Embrace it and don’t fight it. If you really want to escape, take a couple of deep breaths. Understand?” The volunteers nodded. “Good. I’m going to observe the effects on your brains while the chemical is interacting with it. We’ve provided everything you’ll need for this to be a safe and relaxing environment.”
Pinkie raised her hoof. “Yes Pinkie?”

“What’s this chemical going to be used for?” she asked.

“For medicine.” The colour in Twilight’s eyes faded slightly. “There are ponies who are hurting because their own minds are trying to kill them. Most medicine hasn’t worked on them. So we’re using this as an alternative. But because the EDA hasn’t approved this for mass distribution yet, we have to run experiments.”

Pinkie nodded. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Twilight’s volunteers were silent. “Then let’s begin. How would you like to take the psilocybin? Capsule or mushroom?”

~~~

The world was nothing but a black expanse for Pinkie. Her hind legs were tucked to her chest and her forelegs were wrapped around them. She floated in liquid but she was dry. The space felt safe, the space felt warm, the space felt welcoming. Sound was muted and everything incoherent. Pinkie smiled, or she thought she did, everything was perfect.

She opened her eyes with a gasp. Pinkie twitched as she felt something dripping off her. The room’s colours looked as if they were made with water colours. To her right was a cyan fur stretched over a caricature of a pony. The caricature moved a green stick over a white rectangle. A trail of green spread on the square. Beside the cyan was a yellow back with strands of pink at both of its ends. It giggled to itself and couldn’t seem to move. The left end faced Pinkie, showing wide turquoise eyes and toothy smile. Immediately, they turned back and the giggling resumed. Pinkie looked to her left. She found a violet brush of paint holding out a yellow circle.

“Here Pinkie,” it said. “Eat this. You’ll feel better.”

Pinkie grabbed the circle. It formed a yellow plum with splotches of red at its bottom. The colours swirled together while the dimensions shift. The plum felt liquid in her hooves, but she was aware that it was solid.

“Should we be concerned?” the caricature asked. “We’ve been trying to get her to eat that plum for the past two hours, but she hasn’t eaten it. And she’s not acting like Flutters and me.”

“She should be fine, though I’ll admit I’m surprised that she’s been able to sit still for three straight hours,” the paint said.

“She’s probably very introspective right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if…” The paint’s words became muffled to Pinkie. Her eyes drifted down while she yawned. Darkness slowly covered her vision. She placed the plum beside her just as the last of the light disappeared.

Pinkie was once again floating in a dark void. She could feel roots spreading from her chest out in all directions. Her heartbeat was in her ears as the roots spread. She could feel it beating, soothing her every worry. A smile stretched across her face. The roots connected to another, and she felt a second heart in tune with her own. Roots spread from the second heart to another, followed by another, and another. With each new connection, Pinkie felt another heart beating along with hers. It grew from tens, to hundreds, to thousands in a matter of seconds. Once the roots stopped, Pinkie felt over six billion hearts beating along with her own. Each fell into a single rhythm, never stopping or missing a beat. This is so warm. I feel, so light, so wonderful. She placed a hoof on her chest. Everyone’s happiness, their sadness, their ambitions, their love, it’s amazing.

~~~

Pinkie blinked and the colours in the room become semi realistic. Everything was bright with their colours slightly oversaturated. A click to the right captured her attention. Sitting on the floor were Rainbow and Fluttershy, a chess set between them. Rainbow lifted a knight and placed it up and to the right. She looked up at Pinkie. Her pupils were dilated and a smile was stretched across her muzzle.

“Welcome back,” she said. “How was your trip?”

“I don’t think I can put it in words for any pony.” Pinkie held up a stack of paper. A detailed crayon sketch with Pinkie floating in the center of a black space underneath the word ‘Connection’ had been drawn on the first sheet. “So I made a comic to show them!”

“So it was good?”

Pinkie nodded.

“I’m amazed you can say that.” Fluttershy took one of Rainbow’s rooks with a bishop. “You were sitting in that couch for eight hours.”

“And yet I got just as much data from her as I did from you two.” Just over a dozen pieces of parchment floated around Twilight with just as many quills scratching into them. “How do you each feel?”

“Amazing,” Pinkie gushed.

“Like I woke up from a comfortable nap.” Rainbow moved her queen. “Or like I took the first sip of coffee that’s at the right temperature.”

“Calm.” Fluttershy stretched her wings. “And everything looks so beautiful.”

“That’ll be the afterglow. It’ll last a couple of hours.” Twilight handed two sheets to each of her pegasus friends. “In a month, I’d like you all to fill these out. Rainbow, I want you to get Rarity to answer these questions about you at the same time. Fluttershy, get Applejack to do the same as Rarity.” Five sheets were handed to Pinkie. “And Pinkie, get the Cakes to do the same.”

“Sure.” Rainbow tucked the sheets under her wing. “Get what you were looking for, Twi?”

“I think so.” Twilight stood up. “Come on, I’ll walk you three home.” Fluttershy pushed all of the pieces into a nearby box. As she cleaned, Pinkie and Rainbow stretched. Twilight placed a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. “You alright?”

“Alright doesn’t begin to describe it, Twilight,” Pinkie giggled. She placed a hoof on Twilight’s chest. “I felt every heart on the planet.”

“Literally or metaphorically?”

“It’s a mystery!” Pinkie said in a faux wail. Twilight giggled as her parchment bound themselves together. Fluttershy opened the door, leading the four out. Pinkie casually cantered at the end. She stopped at the doorway, flicking the lamp off. The shadows in the office were a deep shade of purple rather than dark to her. She smiled at the distorted beauty as she closed the door with a click.

Anticipation

Today was a special day for Pinkie. Granted, every day was special for the party pony but this particular day was extra special to her. Today was the day that she celebrated being a year older. Ordinarily she would celebrate with all of her friends and whatever family was close by whenever her birthday came around again. This year though, she decided to start it a different way.

Through careful planning, sugary sweet pleas, excessive partying, numerous favours, and what Pinkie called ‘super bribery’, she was able to secure a stone wall beneath Canterlot Castle to do whatever she pleased with it. Acquiring the wall was the first part of her birthday gift to herself. The second part required two individuals to help her: Princess Luna and Spike.

The three of them stood in front of the wall that Pinkie had acquired with chisels and mallets in each of their grasps. Their tools were worn with traces of powder on them and rubble sat at the base of the wall. The once clear wall had a large number of pictures carved into it. In all of them, an earth pony with a poofy mane and tail was featured. She had a wide smile on her face and was wearing a necklace with a balloon shaped gem on it. Every picture depicted the pony making others smile and laugh. Underneath some of them was nearly indecipherable texts. At the end of the wall was a picture of the pony floating with light radiating from her. She had a serene expression as well as her patented smile. The text underneath it showed a single sentence as well as the numbers 03 05 1103.

Pinkie held her tools in front of her, creating a small frame. She stuck her tongue out as she stared. “Perfect,” she said. “All it needs is colour.”

“Colour?” Luna asked. “You didn’t tell us that we had to colour it. Had I known, I could have arranged a painter to help us.”

“Oh you don’t want to do that,” Pinkie giggled. “We want to keep this small for now. And we can paint it later.”

“Good.” Spike dropped his tools. A large yawn came from him as his tools clattered on the ground. “It’s hard enough to do something like this, but to do it so early in the morning is insane. If we had to paint it, I’d probably go on strike.”

“And I’d probably join you,” Luna said. “I’m always happy to lend a helping hoof, but doing so much for so little gain is not worth it, even if it is your birthday, Pinkie.”

“Don’t worry about that, Spike’s done and you only have one more thing to do before you’re free, Luna.” Pinkie walked to a nearby chest. She dropped her tools beside it before opening it up. “Afterwards, we can enjoy the party I have planned.”

“I find it amazing that you’ve planned your own party along with this gift to yourself.” Spike held his hands out. Luna gave her tools to the dragon. “How do you find the time?”

“Scheduling.” Pinkie pulled a golden necklace out of the chest. At the center of the necklace was a cyan gem in the shape of a balloon. She tied it around her neck and faced Luna. “Are you sure that ponies can read it?”

“We’ve been writing in a somewhat dead version of Equestrian, but yes it can be deciphered,” Luna said.

“And it’s clear what’s happening in the pictures?”

Spike pointed at the pictures. “It should be pretty clear, you make ponies happy through song, through some supernatural powers you have, you live to see them smile, and you’re some kind of messiah that will bring happiness.”

“Great!” Pinkie tossed a scroll to Spike. “Remember this date. That goes for you too, Luna.”

Spike and Luna looked at the scroll. “These are the numbers you told us to carve into your mural,” Luna said. “And it’s eleven hundred years from today.”

“Yes they are and yes it is.”

“Why do you want us to remember this particular birthday of yours?” Spike asked.

“You’ll see.” Pinkie winked at them. “Luna, did you find what I was looking for?”

“I found a spell that will let you be there for two days and return five minutes later.” Luna frowned. “However, even the most talented unicorn will only be able to go a century forward. Eleven centuries seems unreachable.”

Pinkie tapped the gem. “That’s what this is for. That limitation is only because of a lack of energy, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“Then we’ll use the Element of Laughter to provide some energy,” Pinkie interrupted.

“That is not my main concern.”

“I don’t think time happens all at once. Tomorrow can’t alter today just as today can’t alter yesterday,” she continued. “It’ll work, Luna. Trust me.” Luna sighed and lit up her horn. A deep blue aura surrounded Pinkie and lifted her off the ground. She held her forelegs out to her sides as the gem on the necklace glowed. The aura around her grew in strength, its light matching the gem’s. The collective light grew in intensity blinding Spike. There was a gentle pop as if a bubble burst. When Spike’s vision returned, Pinkie was nowhere to be found.

“Did it work?” he asked.

“We’ll know in five minutes.” Luna looked at the mural. “This is quite the present she’s given to herself.”

“I know. Who would have thought that she’d literally forge her own legend?” Spike chuckled. “Though everything we’ve done with her makes sense now.”

“How do you think they’ll react when ‘Laughter returns'?”

Spike shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe they’ll react the same way Twilight did when you came back. Or they could celebrate the return of the messiah we’ve created.”

“You and I will see when we get there.”

“I look forward to it.”

A bright flash appeared in front of Spike and Luna accompanied the sound of a balloon popping. Pinkie dropped onto the ground with a smile too big for her face stretched across her muzzle.

“I see it worked,” Luna said. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“More than you can even imagine!” Pinkie cheered. “Actually, no, that isn’t true. Both of you will know soon enough!” She removed the necklace and tossed it into the chest. Pinkie closed it, placing it on her back. “We’ll paint this in a week, sound good to you?”

“I’m fine with that,” Spike said.

“As am I.” Luna nodded.

“Great!” Pinkie walked by Spike and Luna. They followed her at a casual pace as she hummed to herself. “Oh! I almost forgot!” Pinkie stopped in her place and turned around.

“Luna, congratulations, and Spike, I’m so happy for you.” Pinkie turned back around and resumed her walk leaving Spike and Luna blinking in confusion.

“Wait, what? Congratulations on what?” Luna yelled.

“And what are you happy for me about?” Spike screamed.

“You’ll know when it happens!” Pinkie’s voice echoed. Spike and Luna looked at each other. They shrugged in unison before following after Pinkie.

Permission

Twilight sat in front of a mahogany desk rubbing her foreleg. On the other side of the desk was a light brown earth pony stallion a balding grey mane and a pair of mutton chops to match it. A white collar and a black tie were around his neck and two pieces of spherical coal rolled in his right hoof. He sat in front of a pair of blinds that had been slightly opened allowing thin slits of sunlight to shine in the room. The stallion’s eyes were hardened and staring straight into Twilight. She tried to escape his gaze multiple times but failed at each attempt.

“So,” the stallion said. “Why is it that you pulled me aside on the day of my daughters’ birth?”

“Mr. Igneous, I just wanted to…”

“That’s Rock,” Igneous interrupted. “Only family and friends have the right to call me by my given name.”

Twilight gulped. “Alright then, Mr. Rock,” she continued. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“What could be so important that you had to separate us from the celebration that my oldest daughter has put together for us?” he asked. Twilight continued rubbing her foreleg. “Well? I’m waiting.”

“Actually, since you brought her up,” Twilight squeaked. “I wanted to talk to you about Pinkie.”

Igneous stopped rolling the coal. “Go on.”

“We’ve been going out for roughly a year now.”

“I’m aware.” Igneous smiled. “She talks about you in her letters.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She goes on and on about how you brighten her world more than the sun. About how you’re the smartest and one of the most compassionate ponies she knows and about how much she cares about you.” The stallion’s eyes hardened again. Something else was combined with it, sending a chill down Twilight’s spine. Her wings flared out at the sight of his eyes. Igneous’ smile shifted into a slight frown. “Are you scared, Miss Sparkle?”

“No, not at all,” Twilight lied as she tried to close her wings. “Just a little cold, that’s all. My wings are really sensitive to temperature change. This happens a lot.” She nervously chuckled while Igneous’ expression remained the same.

“You should see a doctor if it’s a constant problem,” he said. Igneous placed his hooves on the desk. “But enough distractions, what is it about my daughter you want to talk about?”

Twilight fidgeted in place. “Your daughter means the world to me, Mr. Rock. She makes me happy. Though that isn’t saying much since it’s her special talent, but it’s a different kind of happiness. It’s like being satisfied, content with everything. And I only feel it whenever I’m around her.

“I love her, Mr. Rock. I love her more than most ponies can imagine. I’d give anything to her, protect her from any danger in the world, and I’d do anything to make her smile.”

“Where are you going with this, Miss Sparkle?” Igneous asked.

“I want to marry Pinkie,” Twilight said. She looked at the stallion across from her with determination radiating off her. “I want to stand at her side even when the world turns to ash. I want to be there to make her smile when sadness takes a hold of her. And I want her to be happy.” The two sat staring at each other, Igneous’ eyes still hard and sharp while Twilight’s burned with passion.

A beat passed and Igneous stood up. He placed a hoof over the coals. “You come to me to ask for my daughter’s hoof in marriage,” he said. Igneous pressed his weight on his hoof. Cracks began to form on the coals. “You ask this while my family and I are celebrating my children’s happiness. And you ask me to essentially let you be the sole pony responsible for her happiness.”

Igneous’ eyes brightened. A smile stretched across his muzzle. “You didn’t have to do that, Miss Sparkle,” he said. “Pinkamena is a grown mare; she can make her life changing decisions for herself.”

Twilight blinked. “So you’re fine with me asking her?” she asked.

“You make her happy, so long as you keep doing that, I have no quarrel with you. But let me say this before you do anything.” For the third time, Igneous’ eyes hardened. The coals under his hoof had more cracks form on their surface and multiple pieces fell off of them. The room’s temperature felt as if dropped ten degrees to Twilight. Her wings once again flared out and every instinct she had told her to run. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. “If you do anything to hurt Pinkamena, I will find you. And I will make the pain that you gave her feel like pleasure. In fact, you’ll be begging to go to Tartarus when I find you.”

“Is that a threat?” Twilight shakily asked.

“Threat? I do not make threats, Miss Sparkle,” Igneous chuckled. Twilight shivered as Igneous’ gaze bore deeper into her. Igneous made a cross over his chest. Twilight's eyes widened as he placed a hoof over his left eye. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Do you know what this is?” Twilight nodded. “Who do you think taught her that?” Igneous pressed his hoof onto the desk. The coals crumbled into dust under its weight.

“Princess or not, I will keep this promise. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Twilight stuttered.

“Good.” Igneous reached for a hat on his desk. “Then we should get back to the party. Don’t want to keep them waiting.” Twilight stood up and headed towards the exit. “One more thing.”

Twilight turned around. A small shimmering object was flying straight towards her. She caught it and brought it to her eyes. Floating in her magical grip was a diamond just big enough for a piece of jewellery. Twilight looked at the desk’s surface. Along with various pieces of coal and black dust were small diamonds. Each scattered and covered in the black powder.

“We have a little tradition where we create the ring ourselves,” Igneous said as he walked around his desk. “This will give you a head start.”

“Thank you, Mr. Rock.”

“Think nothing of it.” Igneous opened the door, ushering Twilight out of his office. He silently closed it and walked alongside his future daughter-in-law with a small smile on his face.

Wake Up Call

One of the downsides, or upsides depending how one looks at it, to living above a bakery is that the smell of creation inevitably creeps into each room. The sugary smells of sweets would often drift around Sugar Cube Corner and eventually into the living spaces both above and around the bakery. At times, this increased the hunger of the customers, making them impatient for their treats. Other times it would create unwanted cravings for the house’s occupants. In the early morning, the fresh smells from the ovens would gently wake the Cakes and Pinkie from slumber.

Pinkie was within the midst of a particularly strange dream when a new scent reached her. She was in the middle of fighting a well-dressed mechanical unicorn when they both stopped in their place. They raised their muzzles in unison to identify the scent. The scent was buttery with a hint of cheese and peppers. Pinkie dropped her weapon and followed the scent, smile on her face and nose pointed upwards. The scene around her faded into darkness as the source of the smell got closer and closer. Beige light danced around her, the smell radiating off it. More details of the smell were added as she continued to move. A combination of dough, eggs, and chives could be found within the smell. Pinkie stopped in her place to take in the smell. Her smile stretched farther across her face while the light continued dancing around her.

“Salut, mon sucre d’orge,” a slightly snide male voice said. Pinkie slowly opened her eyes. The darkness and light disappeared to be replaced with the kitchen of Sugar Cube Corner. Standing in front of her was a grey griffon with a curly mustache. He was washing a series of pots and giving Pinkie a warm smile. “Comment ça va?”

Pinkie returned the smile. “Salut, mon trésor,” she greeted. “Ça va très bien.”

“Oh?” The griffon turned the faucet off. “You’re getting better, Pinkie. Have you been practising?”

“Of course I have, Gustave!” Pinkie giggled. “You’ve been calling me all of these cute nicknames like mon mignon, ma puce, mon petit chou, and each and every name makes me feel all bubbly inside. And I wanted to share that feeling with you.”

“I feel that whenever I’m around you, mon chéri.” Gustave reached for Pinkie’s hoof and kissed it.

“Aww.” Pinkie sniffed the air. She walked around Gustave to the oven. Inside were thirty small balls on a tray. Each of them were crispy and golden brown. “These smell wonderful! What are they?”

The oven dinged. Pinkie stepped back as Gustave opened up the oven. “Done,” he said pulling the tray. “But that is not the answer that you are looking for.” He placed the tray on a nearby table, taking in its contents’ smell with Pinkie. “These are gougères, they’re one of my favourite kinds of pastries. My family and I used to make them all the time.” Pinkie reached for a gougère but was stopped by Gustave.

“While it is best to eat them while warm, I would not advise eating them when they come directly from the oven.”

Pinkie pulled her hoof back. “Okay,” she said. “That name you called me when I came in, sucre d’orge?”

“What about it?”

“Doesn’t that translate to ‘my barley sugar’?” she asked. Gustave nodded. “It’s cute, but why did you choose that?”

“I sincerely regret calling you that, chéri,” Gustave said in a faux wail. He placed his talons over his forehead and rolled his eyes back. “For you see, barley sugar doesn’t compare to how sweet you are. You’re sweeter than any pastry that I’ve created. Sweeter than any chocolate, any sugar, and any recipe that any species could think of. If there is a thing on this planet that is as sweet as you, I wouldn’t hesitate to use it as a nickname for you.”

“That’s so cheesy!” Pinkie laughed.

Gustave picked up a gougère. “No, I believe this is. Catch.” He tossed it to Pinkie. Pinkie caught it in her mouth as it reached its peak. She chewed with a thoughtful expression on her face. “What do you think?”

Pinkie swallowed. “C’est magnifique!” she cheered. Pinkie giggled to herself. “That joke you made earlier was terrible!”

“You know you love it,” Gustave said with a smile.

“You bet I do!” Pinkie reached for another gougère. “What were those little cake things you brought over yesterday?”

“Petits fours?”

“Yes, those. Want to make some for the picnic we’re having with the girls today?”

“I see no reason not to. After we’re done eating, I’ll get the ingredients and teach you to…”

“I’ll make them myself,” Pinkie interrupted.

Gustave blinked. “But you do not know any of the recipes or the procedures.”

“J’men calice!” Pinkie yelled. “I’m a baker! And the only way to learn how to bake something new is by doing it yourself without any guidance!”

“Or you could use logic and use a recipe,” Gustave deadpanned. “And such language, Pinkie. I’m shocked. Shocked!”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Pinkie winked. “And you know you love it.”

Gustave chuckled. “How true. Alright, we’ll do things your way.” He and Pinkie continued with their breakfast. Anyone who found table manners essential would gasp in horror at Pinkie and Gustave eating their meal. They broke nearly every form of table etiquette including playing with their food and making a mess. However, both were happy and smiling, to them etiquette came second to that.

Accessorizing

Fun fact: it’s common practice among pony kind to have at least one secret room hidden somewhere in their homes. Many construction companies and architects would build hidden chambers inside houses for no other reason than because it would be fun. They wouldn’t tell the home owners the location as finding them would be half the fun. A switch opening the room would be given to the home owner and it was their responsibility to find it. Once found, these chambers had two primary uses. They could be used to hide a shameful secret or passion like Fluttershy had with her Chamber of Extreme Knitting or like Rainbow Dash’s opera room. Alternatively they were used for storage like the Apples had done for generations or the many secret compartments designed to hide certain reading materials within Ponyville’s library. For Rarity, her secret room was used as a combination of both uses.

Rarity walked around the showroom of her boutique at a casual pace with her sister following close behind. The two were carefully inspecting each of the mannequins in the room.

“Now where did I put it?” Rarity mused. “I’m sure it’s blending in with the rest of the mannequins.”

“All of your mannequins look the same,” Sweetie Belle said. “How can you tell the difference between them?”

“The one we’re looking for has a carving on its left foreleg,” Rarity said looking over a mannequin.

“Is the carving of your cutie mark underneath a hyper stylized crescent moon with seraphim wings?”

“Something like that yes. Though I’m not sure if there’s supposed to be seraphim wings.”

“How do you activate the switch?” Sweetie Belle climbed up on the back of the mannequin.

Rarity tapped her chin. “I believe you’re supposed to jerk the mannequin’s head to the right so its chin is facing left.” Sweetie Belle grabbed onto the chin and head of the mannequin. “Why do you ask?” She lifted the chin while pushing the head down. A bone shattering crack came from the mannequin as well as a soft click. Rarity cringed. “I see you found it. That sound always disturbs me.”

“I dunno,” Sweetie Belle said jumping off the mannequin. “It felt pretty satisfying to essentially snap its neck like that. That sound only made it sweeter.”

“Remind me to be extra careful from now on when you give me a hug.”

Rarity and Sweetie Belle headed towards the mirrors in the boutique. The center mirror had swung open revealing a spiral staircase.

“A spiral staircase? Really?” Sweetie Belle asked as they descended down. “Of all the ways to get to a secret room, you chose spiral staircase?”

“You can’t go wrong with the classics, Sweetie.”

“That being the case, why don’t you recycle your designs? You’d save a lot of time if you did.”

“Because ART must never be replicated for every replication will pale in comparison to the original.”

They entered a large stone chamber with a chandelier lighting the room. All along the walls were bladed weapons ranging from all sizes and shapes. All of them were in pristine condition and at their sharpest. At the end of the room were six mannequins, each wearing a long faux leather overcoat, two white, three black, and one midnight blue. Each overcoat had a distinct style to it and each had the same symbol on its back as the switch to the room.

Rarity put on the midnight blue overcoat. The coat was styled like a tuxedo jacket with long coat tails. At the left breast pocket was a circular emblem with five chains hanging from it. She lit up her horn and pulled a bow with two blades on the end of it towards her. “What do you think?” she asked as she put on a pair of rectangular glasses. “Too much?”

“That depends on the job doesn’t it?” Sweetie Belle tilted her head. “If you’re going to take somepony out from far away, the bow would work.”

“You have a point there.” Rarity put the bow back. “Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to walk around with it without being noticed.”

“Can’t you put it in one of the bottomless pockets you’ve sewn into the coats?”

“It’s not big enough to fit the bow, only the arrows.” Rarity replaced her overcoat for one of the black overcoats. The sleeves for the coat were velvet red while the rest of it was black. She slid a glove onto her right hoof. “What about this?” Rarity asked as she pulled a thick sheathed scimitar off the wall. “There’s space in the pocket for the sheath and the scimitar.”

“Isn’t that scimitar heavy?” Sweetie Belle asked. “You’d probably have a hard time fighting for long durations.

“True.” Rarity unsheathed the scimitar. At the base of the blade was her cutie mark engraved into it. “I haven’t used this yet though. It’d be nice to try it out.”

“So do it.”

“But red is out of style. At least, darker reds, and I can’t match this scimitar with any of my other coats.” Rarity put the scimitar back on the wall. “A pity though, I really wanted to use it.”

“What’s that have to do with anything?”

Rarity tsk’d. “Sweetie Belle, if you’re going to be hunting monsters for the Lunar Knights, you must know that it’s all about style,” she said as she pulled the overcoat off. “Style is essential in our battle. Style allows us to blend in as we search for our targets. And even when we fight, to an observer the fight would look very stylish.”

“If that’s true, why not wear your Night Guard armour?” Sweetie Belle pointed to the other end of the room. Sitting there were two sets of armour, one on a mannequin and one standing up right on its own. The one on the mannequin reflected the style of a traditional Night Guard’s armour. The standing armour was similar to a knight’s, only a glistening white with emerald accents and sharper angles around the shoulders and knee joints. The helmet looked like a snarling beast with glowing emerald eyes. “That’s always looked good on you.”

“Yes, because nothing says inconspicuous like a Royal Guard’s attire,” Rarity deadpanned.

“You’re going to be wearing clothing, that’s kinda suspicious in pony society,” Sweetie Belle retorted. “Besides, it’s not going to matter since you’re going to magically put on your Lunar Knight armour over your clothing when you find your target.”

“Well played, little sister, well played,” Rarity giggled. She put on a white overcoat while pulling a straight sword off the wall. The coat had a lion holding a ring on both sides of the coat. “How about this one?”

“That’s always suited you,” Sweetie Belle said. “And that sword seems practical and pretty easy to hide.”

“Then I’ll go with this then.” Rarity slid the sword into a pocket in the coat’s tails. “Now, I’ll be gone for at least a week, so behave. If anypony comes by asking for an order, tell them I’m away and write down their name and address.”

“Do you want me to give the standard excuse for why you’re not around?”

“Please do.” Rarity headed towards the exit. As she ascended up the stairs, she noticed Sweetie Belle staring at the wall of blades. “I know what you’re thinking!” she called down. “And you’re forbidden from doing it!”

“I wasn’t going to!” Sweetie Belle yelled. She turned her head back to the wall as Rarity’s footsteps disappeared. She took one last look at the walls before hurrying up the stairs. She never actually said anything about trying to get a cutie mark in Lunar Knighthood. Sweetie Belle giggled to herself as she hopped back up to the boutique.

Mirror, Mirror

Darkness was a common starting place for Princess Luna whenever she entered dreamland. From the darkness, she’d be able to find a particular dreamer and help them with their fears or anxiety. Tonight was no different.

Luna walked at a casual pace through the empty void. Her hooves echoed against an unseen stone floor. She looked around only to find nothing but darkness. She bit the inside of her cheek.

“Hello?” she called. “I’m Princess Luna, protector of dreams, is there anyone there?” Her voice echoed in the void. She sighed and continued her trek. Perhaps there isn’t anyone who’s troubled tonight. Perhaps there’s psychic residue left over from another’s nightmare. Luna squinted her eyes. A great distance away from her was a bright purple dot with hints of green at its top. The dot seemed to be standing in front of a reflective surface. As Luna got closer and closer, more details became clear. The reflective surface was a tall rectangular mirror and in front of it was a purple baby dragon that Luna was very familiar with. Luna stopped a few feet away from the dragon as he grabbed the mirror’s edge. What’s haunting you this night, Spike?

Spike spun the mirror. The darkness around them quickly disappeared and was replaced by a simple bedroom. The walls were oak with shelves of books lined up against it. A queen sized bed with a starry pattern sat against a wall and in front of it was a small basket with a blanket inside. The mirror stopped spinning and both Spike and Luna looked at it. Instead of Spike’s ordinary reflection in it, there was a taller older version of the little dragon. The reflection stood twice as tall as him and muscles bulged from under his scales. The fins along his head and spine were sharpened. The reflection was smirking and flexing.

“Looking good, Spike!” the reflection cheered. “Looking real good!” It kissed a bicep before winking at Spike. Luna giggled at the sight. Spike however, stared at the reflection with disgust in his eyes and a closed fist. He clenched his teeth.

“No,” he said raising his fist. “No I’m not.” Spike punched through the mirror. It shattered and the scenery followed suit. Luna hopped around pieces of the falling scenery. The last shard of the mirror touched the ground. Spike sighed. “It’s all wrong.” New fragments of mirror formed in the empty frame as the scenery rebuilt itself.

Instead of being in the simplistic bedroom, Spike and Luna stood in a perfectly round room with lavender paint on the walls. A four poster bed sat by the door with a red floral pattern blanket covering it. Around the mirror were a number of mannequins and a work desk with a sewing machine on top of it. Once the mirror repaired itself, another taller version of Spike was in the mirror. Rather than being muscular, the reflection had an hour glass figure wearing a black dress. The dress was styled like a cocktail dress but with a single loose sleeve over the reflection’s right arm. Over its left bicep was a silver armlet shaped like a spring. At the ends of the spring were arrows pointing in opposite directions. The reflection was wearing false curled eye lashes and gold eyeliner had been applied around the eyes. Lipstick matching the eyeliner was on the reflection’s lips which were curled up into a smile. The fins were rounded and parted slightly to the left. The claws had gold hoof polish painted at the end of them. While the reflection marveled at itself, a white unicorn with a curled purple mane appeared behind it.

“You look beautiful, Spike,” the unicorn said.

“I couldn’t have done it without your help,” the reflection said in a melodic female voice. “Thank you, Rarity.”

“Don’t thank me just yet.” The reflection of Rarity lit up her horn. A fire shaped emerald on a golden chain was brought in front of the reflection. It gasped as Rarity put it around its neck. “What do you think?”

“I love it!” The reflection scooped Rarity up in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s perfect! I couldn’t be happier!”

Spike trembled. “I wish I could say the same,” he said. “And it’s still wrong.” He kicked the mirror and again it shattered, the scenery following close behind. Spike and Luna were left back in the darkness with only the mirror’s frame and multiple fragments on the pseudo ground. In each fragment was a piece of the former reflections. Some of them held the hyper masculine Spike while the others had the hyper feminine Spike. Spike knelt down, picking up various pieces. He fit them into the frame one after another. Luna watched the baby dragon work in silence. She frowned as he got higher and higher up the frame. That must have haunted you for years. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can help you. Spike placed the last piece in the center of the mirror. He stepped back to admire his work. Though fractured, the new reflection had a perfect balance of both of the former reflections.

Spike smiled, and the reflection did the same. He reached out with his hand to touch the mirror he had created. As soon as his fingers touched it, the mirror shattered once more. The frame had broken and fell with the mirror shards. As all of the pieces fell, they slowly crumbled into silver sand. Spike’s eyes widened.

“No,” he whispered. “No, no, no!” He grabbed onto the sand, much of it sinking through his fingers. Tears started forming in his eyes. “It was right.” Spike fell to his knees, a pile of sand falling from both of his hands. “It was finally right.” Tears freely flowed down his cheeks.

Luna immediately rushed behind Spike. She wrapped her forelegs around him, his eyes widening in surprise.

“What?” He turned around. “P-princess Luna?”

“It’s okay, Spike,” she cooed. “It’s okay.” Spike, at a loss for words, closed his eyes and continued crying. “How long?”

“Too long.”

“Does anypony know?” Spike shook his head. Luna tightened her hug. “There’s nothing I can do or say. Unfortunately it’s all on your shoulders. But, if you need a friend, I’m always there for you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Spike mumbled. He opened his eyes. Instead of being in darkness he was lying in his basket with the covers over him. His pillow felt wet and so did his cheeks. Spike wiped the last of his tears away and slowly climbed out of his covers.

Universal

A combination of morbid curiosity and boredom drew Twilight’s gaze across the table to her companion’s table settings. Sitting with her was a mismatched creature with a lion’s paw and an eagle’s claw attached to a slender body. In both the claw and paw, the creature held two wooden manipulators with missing strings. As he moved each manipulator, his utensils and dishes would move about. Two pieces of bread had skewers through them and were hovering over a small fire. A fork turned the skewers as if it were roasting the bread. Standing in front of a plate was a miniature cow made out of butter with a string leading to a knife. The fork lifted one of the skewers, pushing a piece of toast onto the plate. While the fork returned to roasting the other bread, the knife led the butter cow to the center of the toast. The knife bowed with its teeth cutting through the cow’s neck. The butter animal screamed in pain, part of it oozing out onto the toast. The knife scrapped itself along the now dead animal, spreading its remains on the toast.

The creature looked up from his work. “Is there a reason you’re staring at my breakfast, Doctor Princess Sparkle?” he asked. “Am I bothering you?”

Twilight pointed at the creature’s plate. “That’s disturbing, Discord,” she said. “How do you sleep at night?”

“Well, I’ve never seen such an extreme reaction to playing with food before,” Discord chuckled. “It’s fun, something you obviously don’t know about.”

“Creating a slaughter scene with realistic screaming is fun?”

“Schadenfreude is part of my nature.”

“You sicken me.”

“I love you too, Princess Doctor.” Discord returned to his miniaturized world. Twilight stared at the manipulators as he moved them around. Though objects on the table were moving about, there was no magical aura surrounding them. The manipulators like the utensils and food lacked a magical aura yet they somehow controlled everything like magic.

“How are you doing that?” Twilight asked.

“Pardon me?”

“Your magic. You’re clearly using those manipulators as a focus like a unicorn horn but there’s no trace of an aura. How’s it work?”

Discord tilted the right manipulator forward making a fork stab another butter cow. The cow moaned as it fell onto a piece of toast. He pushed his plate forward and placed the manipulators down on the table. Discord snapped his talons. A tape recorder and a cylindrical microphone appeared on the table in a flash. “I’m sorry, but I have to record the next part of my self-help tapes,” he said. Discord pulled a pair of black headphones over his ears. “I’ll explain later.”

“We’re not done-“

Discord pressed on the record button. The tape’s clicking stopped Twilight from speaking. He cleared his throat as he brought the microphone close to him.

“Congrats, if you’ve gotten to this tape, then there’s no going back,” Discord recited. “The world you know will never be the same and you probably don’t want that. Then again, if you’ve bought this, you already see things like I do.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “There’s only a few steps left. To do what I do, you need to know one of the greatest secrets that pony kind has forgotten. A secret that will let you shape reality however you choose. So allow me to share with you a lost piece of knowledge from Starswirl the Bearded.” The purple princess’ ears perked up.

“What?!” she shrieked.

“Starswirl, that poor fool,” Discord moaned. “He knew the truth, and he… shall we say ran far past the line of sanity because of it. Anyways, he observed that every creature had a set of universal beliefs. For example: all species subconsciously believe that gravity will pull them to the ground, all species believe that the sky is blue, and all creatures believe that rocks are hard. Starswirl theorized that these universal beliefs were programmed in each creature and helped form reality. Since everyone believes them, we all perceive reality the same way.”

Discord held out a claw. “But what happens if we changed our beliefs to something else?” he asked. “What happens if we truly believe something different to what we’ve taught? Would that change our reality?

“Let me give you an example. It’s impossible to make a blueberry jelly doughnut appear out of nowhere. Everyone knows and believes that. But…” Discord snapped his paw. Up above Twilight’s plate, a small speck appeared. The speck grew in size, turning a light shade of brown with spots of white powder on it. “If we believe, with our heart and soul, then reality will change.” A powdered pastry the size of a doughnut dropped onto Twilight’s plate. She reached out with a hoof to touch it. A shadow rose up from behind the plate, eating the doughnut’s shadow. A bite mark appeared on the doughnut where the shadow bit. Dark blue jelly oozed out of the bite. The shadow swallowed the last bit, the doughnut disappearing with it. Twilight threw Discord an annoyed look as he burped.

“What Starswirl discovered with that if you can shift that unconscious belief, you can shift reality. That truth brought an endless number of possibilities to his mind. He, like any pony would do, lost himself to the possibilities.” A manic smile stretched across Discord’s mouth. Madness hung in his eyes as a dark chuckle left his lips. “The endless possibilities of what the world could be. If he could make something small like making food appear, perhaps he could change the colour of the sky, or how clouds work, or gravity itself! Or the cycle of night and day! It’d be a glorious vision of fun that would-” Discord coughed.

“Pardon me,” he calmly said. “The point of this is that belief can change the world. To truly change your beliefs, you can either psychologically focus your thoughts, or you can take the easy choice of letting go of sanity. It’s your choice.” Discord pressed on the record button again. The tape stopped with a click and he removed his headphones.

“What you said can’t be true,” Twilight deadpanned. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Hellllo? Spirit of Chaos? Of course it doesn’t make sense, chaos never does.” Discord stood up. “Believe it if you want, it doesn’t stop it from being true. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Angel Bunny and I have a game of Hide and Go Boom to finish. He’s beating me two to one and I will not lose to that rodent.” He snapped, himself and his recording equipment disappearing in a flash.

Twilight stared at her empty plate. “Belief makes reality, huh?” She closed her eyes. All logic said that a jelly doughnut wouldn’t drop on her plate. It was physically impossible without an actual doughnut or a way to make it. Despite it being impossible, she told herself that one would drop on her plate. She repeated the sentiment twelve times, a faint tingle itching the base of her horn. When she opened her eyes, nothing was on her plate. “Of course not, that’d be impossible. But I am in the mood for doughnuts now.” Twilight pushed herself out of her chair.

“I wonder if Spike wants to come to Joe’s with me,” she mused as she headed towards the exit. Unnoticed by her was a spec of sparkling dust floating above her plate. A single drop of blue jelly slowly seeped from the dust. The drop splattered on the plate as the dust disappeared.

Forbidden Fruit

Zecora’s hooves softly crunched against the dirt as she trekked through the Everfree Forest. She carried a pair of saddlebags with her as three sets of footsteps followed close behind her. Accompanying her were an orange pegasus, a white unicorn, and a yellow earth pony, all fillies and happily chatting with one another. Zecora smiled as she ducked under a branch.

“Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, I must thank you three for accompanying me,” she said.

“No problem, Zecora,” Apple Bloom said. “We’re always willing to help you.”

“Yeah, and besides.” An excited smile grew on Scootaloo’s muzzle. “We could get our cutie marks by the end of this. What reason would we have to say no?”

“How about the fact that we’re in a dangerous forest?” Sweetie Belle asked. “While having you as a guide does make this safer, I still feel uneasy.”

“I understand,” Zecora chuckled. “But with me here, you have nothing to fear.” The four passed through a series of bushes. “Speaking of here…” Zecora stopped in her place. The fillies stepped beside her, taking in their lack of surroundings. They had stopped in a perfectly circular open space with trees lining the edges. Save for a single stone podium the size of an average filly at the center of the space, nothing but grass could be seen. Zecora approached the podium while her companions looked around in confusion.

“Um, Zecora?” Apple Bloom asked as she followed after the zebra. “Where is here?”

“And where are the fruit that you said we’re going to pick?” Scootaloo added. “There’s nothing here but grass and that thing.” They stopped at the podium. There was writing in a language that was unrecognizable to them as well as an octagonal groove in the middle of the writing.

“They cannot be seen.” Zecora reached into her saddlebag. She pulled out a silver padlock half the size of her hoof. On top of the lock was a black circle with four white lines drawn down it. At the center of the pattern was writing spelling out ‘L.S-00’. “Without this. For we need it to go into the abyss.”

“Abyss?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “You’re leading us into an empty void where there’s only despair?!”

“Despair, no.” Zecora placed the lock in the groove. The writing glowed with a gentle white light. “There is something else though.”

“And that is?” Apple Bloom tilted her head.

Zecora placed her hoof on the side of the lock. “Fate.” She pressed a button and the lock opened up. A bright light appeared above them, slowly descending to the ground. As it moved down, the air opened up like a zipper. Along the edges of the space were teeth and at the bottom a zipper. Inside they could see a forest with distorted blues and purples lining the trees. Zecora headed towards the opening. “If you want to take a hold of the fruit of destiny, follow me.” She passed the threshold leaving the fillies alone.

“Well, what do we do?” Apple Bloom asked.

“We have two options,” Scootaloo said. “We could follow after her into some creepy forest.”

“We’re already in a creepy forest,” Sweetie Belle deadpanned.

“Fine, a creepier forest.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Or we could sit here and do nothing.” She walked towards the opening with determination burning in her eyes. “I don’t know about you two, but I want to see destiny’s fruit.” Scootaloo passed the threshold. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a quick glance at each other. They nodded in unison before following after their orange friend.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle found their friend gawking at her surroundings. They soon followed suit as they caught up to her. The air itself seemed to be distorted. Nothing was clear and to them, it was like looking through frosted glass. A countless number of trees towered over them. Vines were growing along them and a series of distorted cool colours hugged each plant. Fruits the size of apples were growing on each vine. They had a magenta colour at their tops that faded as it got lower on the fruit. At their bottoms were a series of blue strings forming what looked like veins.

“I see you decided to follow.” Zecora approached them with a smile on her face. “Now, as a general rule of thumb, do not pick any of the lower fruits. Understand?” The fillies nodded. “Good, now come.” They followed Zecora to a nearby tree. She reached up and pulled one of the fruits off. The top of the fruit had a series of vines growing on it. The vines looped around back to the top of the fruit creating a lock shape.

“Hey Zecora,” Apple Bloom said as she pulled a fruit off. “These fruits look like the lock you put in the podium. Only these don’t have a mechanical look to them. Is there any reason why?”

“Because rather than stand by and gawk, I choose to believe that destiny can be unlocked.” Zecora placed another fruit into her saddlebags.

“Deep,” Scootaloo said. She held a fruit in front of her. Her eyes widened and a small amount of drool fell from her lips. “These fruits look really really good.” Scootaloo opened her mouth, bringing the fruit to closer. Zecora slapped it out of her hoof. “Hey!”

“Be careful,” Zecora said in a cold voice. “A single bite will turn the tides of fate. There will be no turning back for you cannot wait. One bite and you must fight until the world is dyed in your colours. ”

“Well…that was ominous,” Sweetie Belle said smacking her lips. Zecora, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle. Around her were three cores of the fruits and another half-eaten fruit sat in her hoof. “What do you mean by dyed in your colours?”

Zecora stared at the unicorn in horror.

“Sweetie! You’re not supposed to eat the fruit!” Apple Bloom screamed. “Didn’t you hear what Zecora said?!”

“She said that one bite would turn the tides of fate,” Sweetie Belle said as took another bite. “But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The tides could turn in our favour.” She bit into the fruit. “Besides, these fruits taste really good.”

“Really?” Scootaloo picked up a fruit. Her eyes widened in surprise as she sunk her teeth into its flesh. “Wow! This is incredible! I’ve never tasted anything like it!”

“Should we be concerned about them?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Concerned is not the right word,” Zecora sighed. “Scared is, for they will now hear things that was once unheard.”

“And that’s even more ominous,” Sweetie Belle said.

“I’ll explain everything once we leave.” Zecora walked past Sweetie Belle. “You two have been given a terrible gift that I had hoped that none of you would receive. Follow my lead, for we have everything we need.” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle followed after Zecora, each with a fruit in their hoof.

Apple Bloom lingered behind looking around at the trees. I wonder. She pulled a fruit off a vine. She held it up, examining every detail. It really does look good.

“Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo yelled. “Coming?”

“Right behind you!” Apple Bloom took a bite. Her eyes widened as the fruit’s flavour danced on her tongue. She ran after her friends, occasionally taking a bite from the fruit. Unknown to her, each bite led her closer and closer to a destiny that wasn’t her own.

Author's Note

One one hundredth of a bitcoin to whoever knows what I'm referencing.