The Narrator and MLPby Immortan JoeChaptersSpike and the NarratorTwilight and the NarratorThe Narrator and Celestia Part 1The Narrator and Celestia Part 2The Narrator and Confusion (Optional)The Narrator and ApplejackThe Narrator and Interruptions The Narrator and Rainbow DashThe Narrator and Creepy TextThe Narrator and Somewhat PinkieThe Narrator and Now Finally Pinkie PieSpike and the NarratorSpike slept in the morning like any other dragon would every other day of the week, cept this time he would– “Wh... What? Twilight is that you,” Spike mumbled only half awake, he shifted his body around trying to get comfortable so he can fall back to sleep. Spike raised a curious eyebrow, lifting his head up off his pillow he glanced around his dark room. “Who’s talking,” he asked out loud to no pony in particular. “What do you mean no pony in particular, I’m talking to you,” Spike said confused on how he could hear a random voice even though there’s no other pony in the room. “Am I dreaming,” Spike asked, he furrowed his brow. “Can you stop that? It’s really getting annoying,” he said. “That, right there stop saying ‘he said’” Spike explained, “Oh you're clever.” “Why thank you,” said the voice. “I do take pride in my work.” Spike sighed, taking his blanket in his claw he... He stopped. “Can you stop narrating everything I’m doing,” he asked Spike clenched his eyes shut in frustration. “Please just stop! Okay, just stop! I need to get some sleep it’s like four o’clock in the morning and I need to sleep!” “Well there’s no reason to yell, you might attract unwanted attention,” said the voice. “What are you talk–” “Spike,” Twilight called up from the lower floor. “Who are you talking to?” Spike’s eyes widened. “H-how did you know Twilight’s name,” he asked. “Spike,” Twilight called up again. “Uh, yeah I’m okay, just had a nightmare that’s all!” Spike repli– “Would you shut up!” “Oh my, that wasn’t nice at all.” “You’re annoying me!” He hi- “Just stop okay I know I hissed you don’t need to tell me I did something after I just did it.” “Hey I’m just doing my job okay.” “What job?” “The job where I tell a story,” "What story?” “The story I’m trying to tell right now, I’m a narrator.” “You’re a narrator?” “Yeah, now can I please get back to my job? I’m actually not supposed to interact with the characters.” “Wait, I’m a character?” “...” “Eh, hello, narrator, you can’t just go silent on me here I need answers?” “I wasn’t supposed to do that... Oh shit!” “Wh- what’s happening!?” On the far side of the room– “Now’s not the time for narrating! What’s happening to Twilight’s room?” “If you shut up and let me do my job I can fix this! Now let me narrate!” On the far side of Twilight Sparkle’s room a large crack tore down her bedroom wall. Through the cracks a bright white light pierced through the darkness like a hot knife going through butter, the Spike cried out in pain and shielded his eyes due to the intense rays of light. “AH! My eyes! You jerk why did you let it do that to me!?” Large disembodied arms reached out from the cracks in the wall. Their lengthy fingers grasped onto each side of the wall; each arm began to tear down the wall making the crack even bigger. “What’s going on?” Spike yelled out in fear– “Hey I’m not that scared!” “I accidentally ripped a hole between our dimensional fields!” “Say what!?” “Ugh... I broke the fourth wall!” “Aren’t we technically doing that now?” “Do not question logic! They won’t like it when you question their logic!” A loud menacing howl erupted out of the tear; more disembodied hands reached out and grasped the sides of the tear. The wall began to crinkle and deform like a balled up piece of paper. “Do something!” “I’m trying but I can’t seem to do anything besides describe what’s going on!” Slowly the hole gradually began to grow bigger with every growing second. “Ahha, that’s it!” “What?” “I can just delete what I wrote!” “Wha–” {Delete} Spike slept in the morning like any other dragon would every other day of the week, cept this time he would– “Wh-who’s there?” “Ah, fuck not this again...” {Later that day} I sat back against my computer chair, scratching my chin I glanced up at the undo button in the corner. Curios on about what happened earlier; I took hold of my mouse and guided my cursor over it. Clicking undo the text from my previous work reappeared; leaning forward I squinted my eyes and began to read. A few moments later I sat back in my chair and glared at my work. "What the fuck did I write?" Twilight and the Narrator“Did you eat your breakfast,” asked my Grandmother. As I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. “Yes Grandma,” I replied. “What about yer vitamins,” she said as she strolled up to the steps on her wheel chair. I stopped about half way up the stairs. “Yes grandma I took my vitamins, now can you please leave me alone I have some work I need to do upstairs.” "I thought we’re going to play some checkers,” she said. Taking a deep breath I spun around and made my way back down the steps. Stepping in front of my grandmother I bent down and cupped my hands around hers. “Granny,” I said softly, “there are more important things in life then playing checkers with you.” My Grandmothers eyes grew sad and her gaze drifted to the floor. Standing up straight I patted her on the shoulder. “Well I’ll see you at dinner Grandma.” Turning back towards the stairs I waved goodbye and journeyed up the steps. {Golden Oaks Library} Twilight read her books in the afternoon like most other ponies do every other day of the week. Cept this time she would be vi– “Who’s there,” she asked confused at the sound of the voice, Twilight began looking around the library. Searching for the voice that was narrating her every action. “Spike is that you,” She called out to her assistant. But she didn’t receive a reply. “Seriously whose ever talking please stop, you’re being very disruptive and I do not approve,” said the disgruntled unicorn. Twilight sighed lying back on her couch she raised her book over her face and began to read. Celestia bent over Luna and kissed her on the snout. “Shh, sister, we do not want our subjects to hear us.” She cooed as she began kissing and nipping at her sister’s neck. Luna blushed and looked away from her sister biting back a moan of pleasure she said, “But, Tia, th-this is not right what if we get caught?” Celestia stroked her sister’s sides which caused Luna to shutter. “As long as you remain silent, Lulu, we won’t have to worry about getting caught,” Celestia said as she slipped her hoof in between Luna’s– Twilight slammed the book closed and chucked it across the room, the book landed on the floor with a loud thud, her face was beaming red and she looked up at the ceiling. “Sweet Celestia that’s not my book on quantum physics! What did you do to my book, and how did you do it?” Twilight stared up at the ceiling looking for whoever was talking, but to her avail nothing replied back to her. “What do you mean nothing replied back to me, I can hear your voice!” Twilight said, “That’s it I’m going to bed.” Twilight stepped off her couch and made her way up the steps, bending down she sniffed herself and recoiled back. “Maybe I should shower first,” she said doing her best to ignore the voice; she frowned. “Just ignore it, Twilight,” She addressed herself. Making her way to the bathroom, she opened the door and turned on the light. Closing it behind her she gritted her teeth; taking her gaze upwards she grumbled something to herself. Using her magic she turned on the shower and stepped in, the beats of lukewarm water smashed against her coat in rhythmic beats. Taking her shampoo in her magical hold she began to wash her mane. “Are you going to narrate everything,” she asked as she scrubbed her mane. Twilight’s question went unanswered as memories of the naughty book began to seep back into her mind. The description of Celestia and her sis- “ENOUGH!” {My Bedroom} I sat there; glaring at the bold text on my screen. How did she…? What!? I was stunned on how Twilight Sparkle was able to cut me off. Yes Spike did before but that was because I spoke to him before hand. But how was she… Able to cut me off even though I haven’t spoke to her. A knock came from my door. “Mr. You are in big trouble!” Shouted my Grandfather. “You hurt your Grandmothers feelings and you-” I went over to my door and locked it. “Tell her I’m sorry Grandpa and I’ll be down in a bit I just have to do something real quick.” “You little runt, unlock this door right now!” I turned on my stereo and began blaring Metallica. “Sorry can’t hear you!” Sitting down I got back to work. {Golden Oaks Library} Twilight took a deep breath, calming her nerves she stepped out of the shower. Using her magic she dried herself instantly; opening the door she made her way to her room. Twilight hopped onto her bed pulling her blankets over herself she tried to fall asleep. Twilight clenched her eyes shut, trying to force the voice out of her head she sighed. “Can you please be quiet I’m trying to sleep,” she moaned. “How about… No.” Twilight’s eyes snapped open at the sound of the voice responding to her. “Eh… Why not?” “Because I’m trying to tell a story.” “What do you mean tell a story?” Twilight asked sitting up from where she lai- “Stop, please just stop!” “But if I don’t describe what you’re doing the viewers will get bored.” “What viewers?” Twilight asked while glancing around the room looking for the audience. “The very few people who’ll actually read this story.” “Read? Like is this some type of book or something?” “You could say something like that.” “So you’re like the narrator?” “Bingo.” “What’s the story supposed to be about?” “You reading that book then masturbating in the shower.” “What! NO! You sick pervert I’ll never stoop down to that low!” “Hey it’s not about what I like, it’s about what they like.” “Who are they?” “The audience.” “Oh…” “Yeah…” “Where are you?” Twilight asked now intrigued by the voice. “I’m in my room sitting at my computer writing this while listening to Metallica, and my Grandpa is-” {My bedroom} A loud bang erupted out of the hallway and my door handle exploded off the door, sending a barrage of splinters my way. Diving onto the floor I covered my head. “Jesus Christ!” I shouted. My Grandpa stepped into the room holding his twelve gauge he tossed it onto my bed. He came over and clasped the back of my neck. “First you’re going to apologize to my wife,” He hissed into my ear. “Then you’re buying me a new door you got that?” I nodded my head. “Cash or credit?” The Narrator and Celestia Part 1Reaching into my wallet I took out my credit card and handed it over to the cashier, behind me I heard my Grandpa cough into his fist. Turning around I saw him place three six packs of beer into the cart. “Whoa, whoa, whoa I’m not paying for that,” I said. My Grandpa snorted, “Like Hell you are.” I frowned. “I thought we agreed on me only getting the door.” My Grandpa waved his hand to the side. “Maybe you should learn to respect your elders and then maybe I’ll learn to buy my own things. Till then you’re paying for my beer.” I rolled my eyes. “Alright fine, how much?” “Eight fifty.” I shrugged. “Well that ain’t too bad.” “Each,” He spat. “Well there goes my college funds.” {Canterlot Castle} “What I’m saying is if we reopen the trade route between Equestria and the Bison city states then we can solve our problems with the shortage of metals,” ranted the Equestrian Prime minister. “Prime minster Virtuous, the reason why we ended the trade regulation in the first place was because of the constant bandit raids,” Luna stated. Celestia sat bored in her throne, tired seeing her subjects bicker back and forth all morning. Sitting back in her throne she raised an eyebrow, glancing upwards she swore she could hear somepony speaking. Yet the only ones who were speaking in the room at the moment were her sister and the Prime minister. Glancing over at her sister she needed to clarify that she didn’t have one too many drinks earlier this morning. Gently tapping her sister on the shoulder Celestia leaned in close to her sister’s ear and asked, “Sorry to bother you, sis, but do you hear that voice,” She asked. Luna snickered, “Tia, I thought you said we weren’t allowed to tease the Prime minister.” Celestia shook her head then frowned, she was getting real tired of this voice narrating her every action. “No, Lulu, what I mean is do you hear the… How can I explain this, I hear somepony narrating every other ponies actions.” Luna frowned. “I’m sorry, Tia, but I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Celestia sighed and scratched the back of her neck, instantly her face lit up and she said, “Like that, it just said I sighed and scratched myself.” Luna grew concerned, “Sis, are you alright?” “I-I’m fine why do you ask?” “Well, I never seen act in such a way th-” “Hello? I’m sorry to speak out of term here you’re majesties, but are any of you listening to me?” Celestia turned to face the irritated stallion. “I’m sorry Mr. Prime minister. But I’m afraid we are going to have to cut the session short.” The stallion frowned and bowed. “As you wish.” Celestia let out a drawn out breath and began rubbing her temples; this voice is really starting to annoy me, she thought to herself. “Tia, is everything alright you never ended a court session early.” Celestia closed her eyes, trying to rid herself of this voice that was irritating the Hell out of her. “I’m alright just agitated that’s all, excuse me, sis, I have a few minor things I must attend to.” Celestia got up and left the throne room. {The Chaos Chamber} Discord sat lazily on his bed; gazing up at the ceiling he twirled his thumbs. Ever since he was reformed everything was just boring now, on the far side of his room he could hear a knock coming from his door. Discord sighed snapping his finger he appeared instantly in front of the door, taking hold of the handle the door swung open. “Why hello there, Celestia, fancy seeing you here.” “Now’s not the time, Discord, now do you mind me asking, how did I know everything you were doing before you even opened the door?” Discord frowned. “Sorry, what?” “On my way down here I could hear a voice describing everything you were doing up until you opened the door.” Discord raised a confused eyebrow. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, my dear Celestia.” Celestia who was growing suspicious decided to ask. “Discord, is this your doing?” Discord recoiled back. “What, no, no, no, I haven’t done anything out of term since I was reformed.” Celestia sighed knowing that Discord must be telling the truth she took a few steps back. “Oh this is getting really annoying,” She muttered to herself. Discord who was also beginning to grow curios decided to ask. “What exactly is this voice saying?” “It’s narrating… Everything, describing every movement,” Celestia explained while she gently guided her hoof along the ground. Discord smiled. “So you mean like this? Celestia sat there looking at Discord with a very agitated look while he narrated everything she was doing while another voice was doing the same–” “Yes,” Celestia said furrowing her brows. “Exactly like that, now can you please stop I don’t need two beings narrating my life.” Discord smiled deviously. “Oh the fun I could have doing that, and just by seeing you I can tell it just drives you mad!” Discord rubbed his palms together chuckling to himself thinking about how much fun he’s going to have later when toying with the guards. “You better not toy with my subjects later,” Celestia said. Discord frowned. “Wait–How–what!? You aren’t messing around you’re really having something narrate everything for you!” Celestia nodded her head. “And yes it is driving me mad.” {My Bedroom} A knock came from my newly replaced door. “Hey, Boy, your Grandmothers been calling you for over the past ten minutes!” I sighed, “Tell her I’ll be there in a minute I’m in middle of something.” “You better not be doing what I think you’re doing,” My Grandfather said. “What are you talking about, Grandpa?” I asked. “They say doing that stuff makes you blind, now go help your Grandmother.” “Why can’t you go help her?” “Boy, I’m in the middle of chopping wood. Now go help your Grandmother before I blow freaking hole in this door.” I sighed, “Alright.” Getting up from my computer I saved my progress and went down stairs. Opening the door I was greeted by my Grandfather who was looking down at me with a stern expression. As I closed my door I began heading down the hallway to the stairs, behind me though I heard a strange metallic noise coming from my room. “What the-?” My Grandfather pushed me forward. “Come on, boy, your room ain’t going anywhere no move it.” {Our living room} My Grandmother was sitting in her wheel chair knitting. “Hey, Granny,” I said taking my gaze to the floor. “Grandpa said you needed some help.” My Grandmother didn’t say anything; she just nodded her head and pointed to the quilt she was knitting. In the center was a large hole. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry again for yesterday.” She nodded her head again. “Apology accepted now could you please stitch that part back together for me.” I raised an eyebrow. “Granny, you know I can’t stitch.” “Well there’s always a time and a place to learn, now get to it, boy,” She said, with a sigh I sat down next to her and attempted to get to work. Taking the needle I began stitching while working I accidentally stabbed myself. “Ah! Fu–” Behind me I felt my Grandmothers hand collide with the back of my head. “Watch your language young man!” {To Be Continued} The Narrator and Celestia Part 2Setting the needle down I sighed, finally after two whole hours I was able to finish the stitch. “Why thank you,” said my Grandmother, “Stitching isn’t that bad isn’t it.” Looking down at my blood drenched hands I sighed. “I think my hands would object to that, Granny.” My Grandmother chuckled, reaching over she patted me on the back. “You’ll get better in all due time.” Getting up I patted my legs down. “Yeah I highly doubt that.” Looking back at my Grandmother I saw that she was frowning. “Now why would you say that?” “Because I’m never going to stitch,” I said as I turned towards the kitchen to get me something to drink. My Grandmother rolled her eyes. “You don’t do anything.” Turning around I pointed at her. “Now that’s a dead lie, I do plenty of things.” She looked at me unconvinced. “Like what?” “I write for starters,” I said opening the fridge and grabbing the gallon of tea. “Now when did you start writing?” Granny asked as she strolled into the kitchen. “When you guys got me that new computer,” I said as I poured myself a glass, looking at my Granny I gestured towards the tea, “Want some?” Granny shook her head. “I don’t drink tea, and now stop trying to change the subject. What do write about?” “Stuff,” I said not wanting to tell her I write about pastel colored ponies and how I can somehow interact with them. “well I’m going back upstairs. See you at dinner,” I said patting her on the shoulder. “Hey don’t just go waltzing on out of here, you didn’t answer my question.” I began walking up the steps that were just outside the kitchen door. “Sorry, Granny, but I got some studying to do.” “Studying? But school isn’t for another two weeks where are you going?” “Sorry, what can’t hear you,” I said as I pulled my bedroom door shut. Turning the lock until I heard it click, I turned to face my computer. The monitor was turned on and all what was on it was Microsoft word. But what confused me was that I distinctly remember turning it off after I saved my progress, as I approached my pc I noticed something was wrong in the top left corner. “Oh, nonononononono, not good, not good at all!” A small crack was left in my monitor. “Shit, how did this happen!?” With a sigh I sat down in my chair. “Ugh, it’s nothing major; it’s just a small crack.” I sighed looking up at my screen I noticed something typed on my screen. Time to begin part two shall we? {Celestia’s Chamber} Celestia laid alone in her bed at night like most days of the week, alone and Nopony to be with her. Comfort her and– “Oh… Please, not you again…” Celestia groaned, “Just stop okay; I had enough of your shenanigans earlier. Just leave me alone and let me rest.” Celestia sighed rolling over in bed she magically took one of her pillows and covered her head trying to drown out the voice. But it would not leave, how could it? How could something in her head magically disappear? Could it? Probably, but there’s no way to test that theory, one would ne– “Shut up! Okay, just please I’m trying to sleep,” Celestia said angrily, she took a deep breath and buried her face deep into her pillow. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this angry with something she couldn’t see in fact. She doesn’t even remember being angry at something she couldn’t see, then again there was that one time she and Luna tried out those interesting plants in the gar– “Don’t you bring that day back up! Lulu and I have vowed to never speak of that day ever again!” Celestia covered her ears with her hooves and rolled over in bed, but knowing that there was no way to cease this voice that was narrating everything that she was doing and thinking she decided to ask. “What do you want from me?” Celestia asked using her magic she lit a nearby candle and observed the room, when the voice didn’t reply she snorted. Celestia rose up from her bed… “I’m not moving.” Celestia realized that she needed to speak to Luna about something and she… “I said, ‘I’m not moving.’” Celestia- “No.” Ce– “Do you really think I’m going to get up to do whatever you want me to do?” “It would help if you did, yes.” “Oh, so now you decide to speak to me.” “Well when somebody–” “Pony,” Celestia corrected, “Oh shut up!” “When Somepony doesn’t want to cooperate with me yes I do speak to them.” “If I cooperate will you leave me then?” Cel– “Please just stop with narrating at the moment.” “God, fine I’ll stop. And yes, when I’m done telling the story I’ll leave you then.” “Wait story, what do you mean by story?” “I don’t know the ones you tell around fire places.” “Well no need to be rude about it, fine what do you need me to do?” “Well you’ll find out as the story goes.” Celestia rolled over in bed the sense of having no other pony to spend this glorious night with made her feel lonely. “Actually I feel quiet fin–” “Hey! Do you want me gone or not?” “Ugh, fine.” A knock came from Celestia’s door. “Tia, are you alright?” Celestia got up from her bed and made her way over to the door, opening it she found a very concerned Luna. “Luna, what are you doing here?” “One of my subjects came and told me that you were shouting angrily at somepony. Now where is this intruder?” Luna asked as she peeked over her sister’s shoulder. Celestia smiled at the sight of her protective sister, the way her expression could go from heartwarming to straight protective mode warmed her on the inside. “I assure you, Luna, I’m alright. There’s nopony here, now please go back to attending to your duties.” “Actually, Tia, I also came down here to speak to you about earlier.” Celestia raised an eyebrow.“What are you talking about,” Luna sighed, “Discord came to me telling me how you have some type of voice narrating everything you are doing.” Celestia shook her head no. “No that is not true that’s just Discord being him old self trying to cause problems.” Luna didn’t look convinced. “Then what was that all about earlier at court when you asked me did I hear a certain voice?” Who knew a confused and worried Luna could seem so hot– “What!?” Celestia shouted, “Are you saying I’m sexually aroused by my sister!?” Luna recoiled back slowly she began to back away from her sister. “Tia, you’re starting to scare me now… Who are you talking to?” “I’m sorry, Luna, it’s just that… Eh…” Celestia couldn’t help herself but look at Luna’s flank, oh that nice luscious flank. What she would do to throw that on the side of a bud and fuck her brains out until she screams into the night. Celestia stood there stunned by what she was hearing, her face was beaming red and her pupils have shrunken to mere pin pricks. “I’m not having intercourse with my sister!” “Do it!” “No! That’s just wrong!” “Do it you wimp!” “No, and I am not a wimp!” Luna ran out of Celestia’s room. “Guards! Guards!” “Is something wrong, Princess?” Asked the Guard who was stationed at the other end of the hallway. “Yes, I need you to go down into town and request for Doctor Arc.” The stallion nodded his head and after a brisk salute he ran off. “I said, ‘do it!’” “Now you’re just sounding like a young filly that can’t get her way.” “Just think… alright… just for a second… Hear me out here…” “Are you alright you sound a bit drowsy…?” “I said, ‘think’” “Well I can’t with you talking!” “Alright, now what would Jesus do?” “Who’s Jesus?” “Now I think… Jesus would fuck yo–” “Enough, that’s it I’m gone I’m not doing this...” Celestia said as she went back into her room, getting on her bed she blew out the candle and attempted to go to sleep. “Fine! Be downer! I’ll go find someone else… Fucking tyrannical biiiitch…” *Wham!* Uhj yuymhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhj {My bedroom} The beer can resting on top of my monitor tipped over and bonked me on my head, startling me awake. Rubbing the side of my aching head which was screaming due my migraine, I picked my head up off my keyboard and glanced up at my blinding monitor. “What,” I mumbled as I glared at the typed words on my Microsoft word page. “That’s it I’m always writing drunk now…” Clenching my gut I winced, “Okay maybe not,” I said as I quickly got and ran to the bathroom. The Narrator and Confusion (Optional)“Checkmate.” Said my Grandmother for the third time in a row. “Wait, what? How, what!?” I said again for the third time in a row. My Grandmother giggled, “Maybe if you stop moving your King first and actually think of an actual strategy you’ll actually do good at something for once.” I sighed bending over to get a better look at the board I ran a hand through my hair. “But… Ugh, never mind, new game?” I asked. My Grandmother smirked. “What’s the point you’re just going to lose again.” My mouth fell open. “Oh you I’ll show you, watch me I won’t lose this time.” Behind me I heard the door open as my Grandfather stormed in pissed as usual, taking his hat off he slammed it on the floor. “Is something wrong, sweaty?” Asked Granny. “Yeah something’s wrong, it’s that damn tractor! It broke down again this like the third time in row this week!” I leaned over to get a glimpse at my Grandfather. “A lot of things are happening for a third time,” I muttered to myself. My Grandpa took a deep breath, rubbing a hand over his bald head he said, “I need something to drink.” Turning back to my Granny I smiled. “Another game–” “WHO THE FUCK FINISHED OFF MY SIX PACK!?” Instantly I felt my heart drop at sound of his yelling, I could feel the vibrations from the stomping of his feet as he stormed back into the living room. “Oh shi– I mean crap” I censored myself in front of my Grandmother as I cradled my head. Frustrated at how stupid I was for drinking and writing the night before. My Grandfather took hold of my shoulder and spun me around so that I was facing him; Jesus was he strong despite his age. “What did I tell you about getting into my beer,” He snarled. “Not to drink it if I ask?” I said shrugging my shoulders. “No, I said, ‘don’t drink it at all!’” He shouted in my face. Wincing I leaned my head back trying to gain distance between each other. “Well I did buy it so in a way it’s kind of mine Grandpa.” “Yeah but you bought it for me, because of what you said to your dear Grandmother.” I nodded my head. “True, but again it did come out of my wallet.” My Grandfather glared at me, letting go he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s besides the… You know what whatever fine you win… You always win… Shows over everyone go home,” He said as he stormed back off into the kitchen. Just like how most of our arguments ended, my Grandfather stormed off only to come back hours later and bring it up. Turning to face my Grandmother I sighed, looking at the clock on the wall I clenched my fist. I have to go to work today in ten minutes, looking up at Granny I shook my head. “Sorry, Granny, I have to go.” My Grandmother nodded her head, remaining silent as usual after one of our arguments. Just so she won’t provoke any of us and have turn into another screaming match, even though half the time the only one screaming was my Grandfather. {Best Buy} I work in the local Best Buy in down town which is about two hours away from home, which is in the middle of fucking nowhere on a farm. I really did nothing special at work I mostly carried out merchandise and took care of empty carts. Here and there if no one was around I would attend to a cash register if I needed to. It wasn’t a bad job, didn’t really have that many friends mostly because everyone gave me the silent treatment or they had better people to talk to. So I’d mostly wander the halls and- “Hey you, cart boy!” I stopped turning around I saw my manager holding a phone. “I have a name you know,” I said. He shrugged. “So, well anyways here it’s for you.’ He said handing me the white telephone. Taking the wireless telephone I brought up to my ear and said, “Yellow?” “Oh my fucking God!” Shouted a voice in frustration on the other line. Bringing the phone away from ear so that I wouldn’t go deaf I slowly brought it back. “Who is this?” I asked my manager. He shrugged. “I dunno he claims to be your editor or something.” Once the phone was back in position I could hear the voice ranting. “Do you know how fucking stupid you sound when you answered the phone that way? God you don’t greet people by saying a fucking color, you say hello! You know like with an *H** good God why did I have write that in. It’s so freaking stupid!”* I raised a confused eyebrow. “Wait what do you mean wrote that in?” “What, whatever just listen here, pal, you don’t know me but I defiantly know you.” “Who are you?” “Names don’t matter right now, boy, but I’ll tell you this you need to write better material.” “Wait what the fuck are you talking about? And how do you know I write, I haven’t even posted anything on the internet.” “Hey, boy, shut the fuck up okay, I don’t have long okay the longer I talk to you the bigger crack forms okay? “What? I’m so confused.” “Yeah and I bet they are too, but I’m not complaining this is important information.” “Who’s they and why are you telling me this if I won’t understand.” “I dunno because I’m too lazy to explain it in a better and more detailed way.” “B-but that doesn’t make any fucking sense!” “The plot doesn’t make any sense, boy, now shut the fuck up before it’s too la–” The phone went silent… “Well that didn’t make any sense.” The Narrator and ApplejackTaking out my house keys I unlocked the front door to my Grandparents house, making my way into the kitchen. I noticed a note on the refrigerator door claiming that my Grandparents left to do some errands. Opening the fridge I reached in and took out one my Grandpa’s beers cracking it open I took a sip and went up stairs to work. Opening my bedroom door, I noticed my computer was turned on again. “Impossible,” I said I know I turned it off when I left for work this morning. I cautiously approached my computer, taking my chair I sat down and gazed at the monitor. Like before it was on Microsoft word but this time there was a list… A list of names from the show MLP. I ran downstairs snatching the house phone up off the charger I decided to call an old friend of mine. Dialing the number I sat there waiting. “Come on, come on, pick up dammit.” “Hello?” “Tommy!” I said “What do you want man it’s like… Two o’clock in the afternoon,” he said sounding as if he has just woken up. “I think my computer is possessed,” I said peeking up the steps that lead to my room. Tommy chuckled, “You got to be kidding me.” “No, Tommy, I’m being completely serious. Ever since I got that damn thing and I tried typing my stories, weird shit keeps happening!” “Like what?” “It’s hard to explain but it’s like the characters are alive!” Tommy busted a gut. “You… What?” “I’m being serious, Tommy.” “This has got to be one of the stupidest pranks you tried to pull on me yet.” “Tommy, I’m not trying to prank you. We’ve known each other for three years now, why would I fuck with you like this?” Tommy sighed, “Fine let’s say your computer is possessed what is it doing?” “Well yesterday when I turned it off it came on and opened Microsoft word by itself, and when I checked it out some body typed something on it.” “Okay,” Tommy said unconvinced, “what did it say?” “Time to begin part two shall we, that’s what it said,” I explained. “Alright and what about today, did anything spooky happen today,” he chuckled. “Yes actually, same thing it came on opened up word and now there’s a list of names!” “What are the names?” “Characters from the show MLP!” “Ha, maybe it wants you to pick one or something.” Tommy laughed, “Wait a second my girlfriends calling me; I’ll talk to you later.” With that Tommy hung up; taking my gaze up the stairs I heard another similar metallic groan that I heard a few nights before. Grabbing a hold of the railing I made my way up the steps, opening my bedroom door I went over to my computer. Sitting down I looked at the list of names, the top of the list were all the man six. Twilight’s name had bold X next to it same with Celestia, and Spike; looking down the list I found Applejack. With a sigh I placed my cursor over her name, only to find that my cursor changed to the little hand signaling that I can click on it. Taking a deep breath I clicked on it and it opened a new document with large bold words at the top saying. Let’s see what Applejack is doing shall we? {Sweet Apple acres} Applejack did the dishes with her Granny like… Well hardly ever but- “Granny, do you hear somepony talkin’” {My bedroom} “Oh cut me off will you,” I said taking my beer and a few others I took a gulp. “Well let’s see how you like this.” {Sweet Apple Acres} Granny Smith who was hardly paying any attention and was too focused on getting her job done; Applejack glanced around the room trying to figure out who was speaking. “Big Mac is that you,” She asked. When Applejack didn’t receive a reply she sighed and decided to get back to work. Once she finished the dishes she decided get ready to work in field. Making her way up to her room, Applejack heard a few faint giggles coming from Applebloom’s bedroom. Curious on what her little sister was– “Actually ah, don’t really care. She and her little friends can do whatever they want as long as there careful-” Applejack heard another round of giggles coming from the room, curious on what was- “Ah told ya, I ain’t curious.” Applejack the stubborn hard headed mule who was curious on what was in the room decided to go and check! “Fine, fine, fine I’ll go check,” She said waving her hoof to the side as she made her way up to her sister’s door. Raising her hoof she… Stopped. “Why are you saying everything that Ah’m do in,” She whispered. When Applejack didn’t receive a reply she sho– “No, no, no answer me. Why are ya saying everything that Ah’m do in?” “How about you just knock on that door and see what they’re doing.” “How about you answer mah question?” “Just knock on the door will ya.” “Answer my question first.” “Lady we can play twenty questions after you open the door.” “Ugh, fine.” Applejack raised her hoof knocked three times, behind the door came a few gasps followed by the sounds of three fillies moving hastily moving behind the door. Applejack raised her eyebrow confused by the strange noises coming from behind the door. Forgetting about the voice for a second Applejack asked, “Applebloom, may I come in?” “Eh… maybe hold on…” said the filly from behind the door. Applejack was suspicious now, not wanting to wait she opened the door and found the three fillies standing around a magazine. At first the sight seemed innocent as if nothing was wrong, until AJ noticed the open magazine. On the page was a very attractive mare that had her Hind legs spread wide open revealing her special parts and a very curious hoof playing around down there. Applejack’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Wh… what in tarnation is this!?” She flung her hooves up in the air. “It’s not what it looks like!” Scootaloo said trying to cover the foul magazine. “Oh ah sure know what this looks like girls,” Applejack growled, “Where did you get this… this magazine from anyways? Was it from Big Mac’s room if so I swear me and him or going to have a–” “Actually we got it from yer room, sis,” Applebloom said smiling sheepishly; Applejack’s jaw officially met the floor. “Wait what; Ah never had anything like this ever!” “Well why did we find it on your bed then,” asked Sweetie Belle. “Wait… What?” Applejack couldn’t believe what she was hearing; she doesn’t ever remember buying such lovely piece of literature. Nor does she ever remember placing this magnificent magazine on such a marvelous display. (Also currently known as her bed.) Left wide open so that all the residents of Equestria could have a luxurious look at it’s wonderful pic- “Would you just shut up!” Applejack snapped at the Narrator. “Oh my, no need to be rude, Darling, I’m just explaining to the world how wonderfully magnificent this magazine is!” Applejack gritted her teeth in frustration, looking back down at the three fillies that seemed to still be in shock due to her outburst. “Ah’em sorry Ah didn’t mean to yell like that,” Applejack said trying to cover herself. “It’s okay, Applejack, you don’t need to hide your feelings anymore,” Sweetie Belle said. “What are you talking about?” Applejack asked raising an eyebrow in confusion. “She’s saying there’s no need to stay in closet anymore,” Scootaloo said. AJ’s eyes widened. “What no! No, no, no it’s not like that at all Ah swear.” “Sis, there’s no need to lie, Ah’em okay with whatever yer into,” Applebloom said with a warm smile. AJ’s left eye twitched. “Ah… Uh…” “Girls… I think we broke her,” Sweetie Belle said. “Huh, Applejack, are you okay?” Applebloom asked as she waved a hoof in front of her sister’s face. Applejack shook her head. “Ah, Ah think Ah’m gonna go lie down for a bit,” She said as she stumbled out of the room. Shrugging their shoulders the two fillies turned to see Scootaloo having trouble with the glories magazine. “What’s wrong Scoots?” “The dang pages seem to be stuck together!” The Narrator and Interruptions The Narrator and Interruptions {Carousel Boutique} Rarity worked on her dresses every afternoon, like she alwa– “I’m sorry what was that?” “GOD DAMMIT!” “Oh my, I messed up the stitch!” “Why do you ponies constantly interrupt me, when I’m trying to write my stories!?” “What are you talking about?” Rarity asked not looking up from her work. “What was that?” “Ugh, can you please just go along with what I’m writing?” “Sorry what?” Rarity asked completely engrossed in her work. “Oh my God she won’t even–” Over on the other side of the boutique the door flung open only to reveal a brown earthpony with an hourglass on his flank. “Sorry to bother you, Rarity, but have you finished mine and Ditzy’s outfits yet for the Gala?” “Oh great bring the Time Lord into this now…” “Who said that,” asked Rarity. “I dunno,” said the Doctor. “Oh great both of you can hear me, what’s next the cutie mar–” “Rarity,” said Sweetie Belle “is it okay if the girls and I borrow one of the tweezers?” “Well fuck I spoke to soon.” “Did you hear that,” asked the Doctor. “Yeah hold on, Doctor, they’re in the kitchen in the second drawer on the left.” “Alright thanks.” Said Sweetie Belle as she ran by, Rarity raised a curious eyebrow. “Why do you girls need them anyways?” Sweetie Belle stopped. “Well back at Applebloom’s we found a cool magazine but some of the pages are stuck together and we can't get a good grip on them. Plus when we tried it tasted really salty and gross.” {My Bedroom} Leaning back in my chair I stared at my monitor with the most disgusted face I had ever made up. After few minutes I reached for my keyboard but then I hesitated. “Wh… Why, eh… What!?” I yelled the pitch of my voice almost being able to match those of a young toddler. “What’s going on in there?” Asked my Grandfather who must have been walking past my room to get to the bathroom. “Eh, nothing you want to know, Grandpa, just trust me on this one!” “You better not be on that web site again.” “I’m not,” I replied back as I turned back towards my monitor. Reaching for my beer I took a large gulp, shaking my head I gasped. “Alright let’s do this.” {Carousel Boutique} Rarity shared a confused look with the Doctor as Sweetie Belle scampered off back into the ki– “So how has your afternoon been going for you, Doctor," Rarity asked as she got back to work. “Aw, come on I'm workin here–” “Oh it’s been quite nice really, Ditzy and I just got back from our recent trip and she got me this neat old thing,” he said as he brought out a pretty fancy looking pocket watch. “Hey stop cutting me off you di–” “Oh that’s beautiful,” Rarity said as she eyed the watch. “Where’d she get it?” “I swear to God if any of you cut me off one m–” “I don’t know really, I was working on an experiment of mine when she came up behind me and–” “No! You’re not telling the story I a–” The doors to boutique flew open, and in came Pinkie Pie, and bunch other ponies that seem to be in a congaline. Pinkie Pie held a large pink cannon in front of her that blasted confetti and streamers all over the room. “It’s time to Part–” {My bedroom} Flipping my keyboard I stood up. “Fuck this shit I’m making a sandwich.” The Narrator and Rainbow DashLet’s see what Rainbow Dash is doing shall we? Rainbow Dash practiced for the Wonderbolts like she did every day of the week, cept this time she would… end up flying into a tree… Oh God that must’ve… oh shit I thank she’s actually hurt! {That Ponyville hospital that I have no idea what it’s called} Rainbow Dash laid in the hospital bed hospitalized like she did every time she didn’t watch where she was flying. Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up as she gently glanced up at the ceiling. “I was watching where I was going, and it’s just that when you started speaking you scared the living hay out of me!” “Oh… are you okay?” Dash shook her head as she faced hoofed with her non casted leg. “Do I look okay?” “Yeah you look rather fine to me; all you need is some duct ta–” “I’m in serious pain right now thanks to you!” “Oh you’re welcome.” Dash sighed as she once again faced hoofed, Dash stopped her brow furrowed as she stared up at the ceiling with an irritated look. “Can you please shut up?” “Oh I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t stop. You see I’m kind of in the middle of doing my job.” “What job,” Dash asked, “I don’t see you doing anything matter of fact I don’t see you.” “Ugh, yeah that’s the thing you can’t see me… matter of fact all you can do is hear me.” “Where are you,” Dash asked as she shifted in th– “You don’t have to say everything…” “You see I’m supposed… You know what I’m really getting real tired of writing this conversation over and over… You know what I think it’s time for a transition.” “Trans–wha–?” {WEEE!} “So your job is to narrate ponies… for other pony’s entertainment?” “Of Course, I did say I’m a narrator.” “Well… where are these other ponies anyways?” “Oh hohoho my silly, Dashie, please don’t ask stupid questions.” “How is that a stupid question, what’s the point of narrating some pony’s life for others entertainment if there’s nopony here to listen to it?” “…” “Hello?” “Like I said Dash, ‘don’t ask stupid questions.’” “But–” “Ah–b–b– no buts, okay don’t ask stupid questions.” “I’m just saying that there’s–” “Stop questioning my inferior logic!” “Alright! Fine geez no need to throw a tantrum,” Dash said as she once again shifted in her bed trying to get comfortable. “Okay, uh… Why are you narrating me anyways, like I’m sitting here in a hospital bed and I will be for three days… So not much is going to happen so…” “Okay I’ll agree with you there… I didn’t really think this for ahead.” “Yeah… so you’re listeners might be pretty bored–” “Readers they’re readers.” “Wait so you’re writing all this down?” “Yeah, pretty much.” “You must be a pretty fast writer.” “Yeah I bet you could say I’m the fastest wri–” “Just don’t, don’t even try.” “Yeah… I guess I shouldn’t.” {Thirty boring fucking minutes later!} “So you live with your Grandparents?” “Yeah, it’s not bad… like it could be worse I could be stuck with my Dad.” “Oh, what’s up with your Da–” “Ms. Dash… who are you speaking to,” asked Nurse Redheart. Dash’s attention instantly shot down towards the confused Nurse, her face flushed instantly with embarrassment. “Sorry what,” Dash asked trying to cover herself. “Is everything alright, Ms. Dash, if not I can go get Dr. Stitches,” Nurse Redheart suggested, as she approached Dash’s bed side. “Em… No thanks everything’s alright I don’t need to spend an extra night here,” Dash said quickly as she tried to push herself away from the mare. Nurse Redheart reached out with her right hoof and gently placed it on Dash’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Ms. Dash, we are not going to keep you here for an extra day,” she chuckled at the over exaggerating mare. Dash shot an aggravated look up at the ceiling. “Why you,” She growled. “Did I do something wrong, Rainbow?” She asked as she began to massage Dash’s shoulder. Dash eyes grew wide as the Nurse gently massaged her stiff shoulders. “Wh–what are you doing!?” She shouted as she tried to pull herself away only to succeed by falling off her bed and landing on her back with a thud. “Ah, son of a– you did that on purpose!” Dash accused as she shot a hoof up in the air. “I didn’t do anything on purpose!” Nurse Redheart scoffed. “Not you, him!” Dash shouted stupidly in anger. “Wait what?” Nurse Redheart stood back with a very confused look; she took a few glances around the small hospital room. Only to find nothing in her short search. “There’s nopony else in here besides the two of us.” Once Dash realized what she said she instantly covered her mouth. “Whoops.” Before Dash could do anything else Nurse Redheart was on her in an instant. “What the–what are you doing?” Dash raised her good hoof up to her chest and tried to push her off. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, Dash,” Redheart said she licked her lips. “Waiting for what!?” Dash’s eyes shrunk into small dots as Redhearts eye took on a lustful look. “Do it! Do it while you still have a chance!” “Do what?” Dash asked as the Nurse seemed to have toned her out and was too focused on getting her hooves on the injured mare. “Fuck her!” “Say what, I’m not doing that! I’m not into that sort of thing,” Dash said as she began to lose strength. “Wait… What?” “I’m only into Stallions, geez, why does everypony think I’m gay,” She said as she was able to slip her hind hoof under Redheart placing it on her belly she was able to push her off. “Well… I assumed that, since you have… I dunno the mane and… everyone else seems to enjoy a gay–” “Really,” Dash said as she attempted to climb back onto the bed. “Just because I have a Rainbow mane and I act like a tomboy that makes me–” “Don’t judge their logic! They won’t like it when you judge their logic!” “Wait, who are the–” {My Bedroom} Three knocks came from my door. “Come in,” I called out to whoever was at my door. To my left I heard the door open and I heard a very distinctly familiar voice catch my ear. “Sup Bitch?” The Narrator and Creepy TextTommy brought his face up to my computer monitor. “What’cha written there buddy,” he asked as I tried to push him away. “Tommy, where the Hell did you come from,” I asked finally succeeding in being able to push him away from the computer. “I came from town you dimwit,” He said as he sat back on the edge of my bed about three feet away from me. I rolled my eyes. “Alright, smart ass, how did you get here?” Tommy scratched the back of his neck as he glanced at me with a unconvinced look. “What does it look like, I drove here.” I gawked at him. “Tommy, you don’t even have your license yet.” Now it was Tommy’s turn to gawk at me. “Now who in their right mind told you that?” “I don’t know I just assumed.” I shrugged. Tommy shook his head. “I actually got my license a week ago; I meant to tell you when you called me. But you never really gave me a chance sense you kept ranting on about your possessed computer.” “Well it is,” I said as I popped the tap off my cola. Tommy rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure it is,” He said as he turned to face my bed. “As if text can magically appear on your screen; pssh, please… What are you looking at?” On the computer screen in front of me was large amount of text that seemed to have seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Describing everything we have been saying, doing, and thinking. “Oh that’s fucking creepy.” Right below all of that were five bold capitalized words that I read out loud. {Sugar Cube Corner “CAN YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!?” Pinkie Pie shouted angrily up at the ceiling inside sugar free corner. Pinkie sighed and clasped her hooves over her ears as she rested her head on the counter as she waited for the cake to finish baking. Taking her hooves off her ears she glanced around the room with disgruntled look trying to figure out the voice she seemed to be hearing. It was boring and rude and wouldn’t leave her alone and was constantly pestering her to do things that she didn’t want to do. With annoyed groan she again placed her head back onto the counter and covered her ears, after a few minutes of doing this. She began smell something unusual it was foul smell one the pony didn’t like and she instantly shot up from where she sat. Pinkie Pie could see black smoke coming out of her kitchen and she knew all too well that she didn’t hear the ding of the oven because of her ear cover– “That’s only because you made me you big meanie! And I placed the cake in there five minutes ago, it can’t be burning.” From within the kitchen Pinkie could hear the smoke alarm going berserk. “What’s a smoke alarm?” Pinkie asked as she glanced around the room aimlessly. After waiting a wasted moment for a reply she didn’t even receive; Pinkie decided that if the voice wanted her to go– “I didn’t decide on an–” Once Pinkie was done talking she decided that whatever was beeping in the kitchen she should go… “Omigawd! When did we make the chocolate strawberry covered cupcakes! Oh I always wanted to taste one of these,” She said as she reached for one of the delicious cupcakes, only to be halted by a materializing note above them saying don’t touch they’re only for the customers. “Aww… That sign wasn’t there a second ago.” Turning away from the counter Pinkie decided that she should now go and investigate the burning kitchen and– Suddenly the door to Sugar Cube corner busted open and in come a crew of fire mares and stallions. Pinkie Pie was then grabbed by two mares who then began dragging her out of the burning building– {My Bedroom} “What are you doing?” I stood in the open door of my room watching Tommy who was frantically typing at my computer. Who full attention was wrapped around the monitor as he typed every word with immense speed; taking a sip of my new can of cola I knocked on the side of the door. “Huh, what!? Where!?” Tommy fell back against my chair as if something has just released him glancing around confused Tommy looked over at me. “What just happened,” he asked. To my left I heard the clicking of keys as my keyboard continued to type out the rest of the story, “Holy… shit,” Tommy glared wide eyed at the screen as the words continued to form on the screen. Let’s see how this chapter ends shall we…? “I’m done...” Tommy said as he got up. “I’m going to go to the nearest bar think about my life and get shit faced,” Tommy said as he brushed past me. “I’m joining you,” I said as I followed behind. The Narrator and Somewhat Pinkie“Boy when are you gonna learn that: your life doesn’t need to revolve around that computer thing of yours? Why don’t you do something better with your life and go get yourself a beautiful girlfriend or something.” Asked my Grandpa. I took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich and glanced over at him. “I told you, Gran Dad, my whole life doesn’t revolve around that thing,” I said my mouth full of food. Moments later I felt a hand collide with the back of my head. “Ow, what was that for!?” “What did I tell you about talking with your mouth full,” my Grandmother scolded as she strolled past me on her wheelchair. Mumbling angrily I ran my hand over the sore spot on the back my head. “Anyways,” I began, “my whole life doesn’t revolve around the computer, and I do somewhat have a girl friend,” I explained to my Grandfather who was sitting on the other side of the table. “Like who,” he snorted as he impaled a carrot with his fork. “Lindys Folk from work,” I said silently offended. “You mean that whore from town,” my Grandfather said he slowly chewed on his food. “Herald,” My Grandmother snapped. “Hey that’s my friend you’re talking about!” I said as I slammed my sandwich down onto the plate. “Kidding, kidding,” my Grandfather chuckled as he held his hands up in his defense. “Well that wasn’t funny at all,” my Grandmother said as she placed her plate in the sink. “Seriously though,” I sighed and took my sandwich in hand. “That wasn’t funny at all.” My Grandfather rolled his eyes and stood up taking his plate he made his way over to the sink. “I’m sorry, but still I’m not too fond of that Lindsey girl. Last time you brought her over here she almost ruined my tractor.” Before I could to tell my Grandpa that the tractor incident happened three years ago, my phone exploded into a wave of vibrations. “Hold on I need to take this,” I mumbled as I took out my phone, getting up from my seat I made my way out of the kitchen and into the living room. “Hello?” I said. “Hey, man, check your email,” Tommy said quickly and completely out of nowhere. “Wait what,” I said as I turned towards the stairs leading up to my room and the restroom. “Did I stutter? I said, ‘go and check your email.’” He sighed. “Why?” “Just do it dammit!” “Alright fine,” I said as I went up the stairs. {My bedroom} Sitting down in my chair, I opened up Google Chrome and went straight to my email. “Alright are you there yet?” Tommy asked anxiously. I raised a curious eyebrow. “Is everything alright, man, you’re acting pretty weird?” “Actually no, everything is not alright; in fact I’m a little freaked out. Are you there now?” “Yes, yes I am, jeez,” I mumbled as I opened my inbox. “What does the message say?” I leaned forward and squinted my eyes to get a better look. “It’s time…” {Ponyville Market Place} Pinkie Pie sulked through the Market Place like she didn’t every other day of the week, cept this time she’d be– “Annoyed by the same intro the narrator creates for every character he narrates…” … “Yep I expected you to be silent,” Pinkie sighed and continued down her path towards Sugar Cube Corner. As Pinkie ventured through the Market Place she couldn’t help but notice– “The lack of ponies here except for, Twilight and Applejack down by the apple cart having a nice chat; yeah kind of saw that coming.” … “Again with the silence, you know I think this is the time you’re supposed to start talking to me.” “You know I think you’re really out of character.” “And here we go.” “Why are you acting like this? You’re supposed to be upbeat and super excited and what not.” Pinkie stopped and shook her head. “No, I’m supposed to be in character tomorrow when I was scheduled to be narrated.” “Wait scheduled, what the fu–” “Ah ha ha, language, mister.” “What this is my story.” “But still not all the fans like to hear bad words every other sentence.” “What fans I haven’t even gotten around to posting everything yet, honestly I don’t even think I’m going to if this keeps up.” Pinkie chuckled. “Oh author the things you don’t know about.” “What the Hell are you talking about?” “Things you won’t learn about until later.” “Wait what, how would you know about later?” “I read ahead.” “Wait, what–” {My Bedroom} My bedroom door blew open and Tommy came in. “Quickly, Man, there’s giant fucking colorful alien robots that came from the meteorites and out of the gorund and they’re blowing shit up an– {My Bedroom} “Ah Jesus,” I cried out as I quickly sat up in my bed, sweat poured down my face as I took the edge of my blanket to wipe myself off. In the corner my T.V. was left on but all what was left was static and white noise. “Alright that’s the last time I watch T.V. before be–” I sat there horrified, my bones chilled to the bone. In front of me on my computer screen is large bold words were. It’s Time… The Narrator and Now Finally Pinkie PiePinkie Pie sat behind the counter in Sugar Cube Corner like she did every other day of the week, except this time she instead of being in a good jolly old mood like she usually is. She was stuck in her agitated, all joyfulness deprived look. She sat with her head resting on the counter as she impatiently tapped her right hoof in a rhythmic beat. She released a flustered sigh as her gaze drifted to ceiling, rolling her eyes she glanced over at the freshly baked red velvet cupcakes that sat idly to her right. Waiting for a lucky customer to come in and purchase one of them to enjoy. “Are you done yet?” She twirled her head and groaned. Pinkie sighed once again; she buried her face in her hooves. Raising both forelegs she covered her ears and began to rock side to side. Over time she shook her head and began to mumble one of her songs to herself, trying to blot out this annoying voice that kept speaking to her. Describe every little action to her; the voice began to get faster and louder. Growing even more irritating with every second, driving her ever so closely to insanity until finally it drove her over the edge. “Would you just. Shut. Up!” She stared up at the ceiling her eyes narrow and her brows furrowed in anger. If this pink mare could fire lasers, already this building would be crumpling to pieces. “If I could shoot lasers, you wouldn’t be here right now!” She snapped at the ceiling, Pinkie gritted her teeth. Moments later when she realized there was nothing she could do she sat solemnly on the ground. “Pinkie, sweetie… who are you talking to?” Mrs. Cake called from the kitchen. “I’m talking to the Narrator!” She replied back as she flung her hooves up in frustration. “The Narra–what?” Mrs. Cake popped her head out from the door with a raised eyebrow. Pinkie faced Mrs. Cake. “The Narrator, he just won’t shut up!” Pinkie exclaimed. Mrs. Cake’s confusion deepened. “Pinkie… I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t hear anypony else beside me and you.” Pinkie took a deep breath and stood back up onto her hooves. “That’s just it though, no pony else can hear him except for me.” She said as she began to pace the ro– “Can you please be quiet for three seconds!” 1… 2… 3… Pinkie growled in anger as she began to pace even faster, turning back to Mrs. Cake who was now talking to Mr. Cake. Pinkie doesn’t know when Mr. Cake arrived or that if the Narrator just decided to plop him in here just so he could get along with the plot. But Pinkie just decided to go along with it. “Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said as he turned to face her. “Have you been…? I dunno, partying with the wrong crowd late–” “What? Nonononono… I would never allow such ponies to do things like that at one of my parties.” Pinkie answered not even knowing what Mr. Cake was going to even imply, Pinkie turned her attention back towards the ceiling. “What do you mean I don’t know what he was implying… of course I know what he was implying he was in implying that I took drugs…” “What!?” Mr. Cake took a sudden step back in surprise. “I wasn’t implying that you were taking drugs. I was implying that you were drinking with the colts from down the block!” Pinkie knitted her brown and looked back at the ceiling. “I swear, I’m going to explode if you don’t stop right now… I’m gonna…” “Pinkie, dear, please tell us who are you speaking to–” “The dang Narrator! He’s been driving me nuts since I started my shift, and he wouldn’t leave me alone since! He keeps explaining everything I’m doing, or going to say, even your guy’s emotions towards me!” The Cakes took a nervous step back. “Pinkie, there is no Narrator… you’re just having one of your… your…” Mr. Cake didn’t know how to put it. “Pinkie, have you been having any kind of strange feelings lately… like warmth or–” “Oh nonononono, Mr. Cake it’s nothing like that. Not like that at all, you see it’s like having a little monkey or something in the back of your head. Describing every little thing you are doing, like how much icing you’re putting on your cupcake, or how long you placed it in the oven to bake!” Pinkie explained at the speed of light. Mr. and Mrs. Cake shared a worried look with each other. “Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake began. “Could you excuse us for just a minute?” She asked. Pinkie nodded her head. Knowing that even if she left the room these two wouldn’t be in complete privacy, especially earlier this morning when both of them were upstairs in the bedroom… Pinkie shuddered at the thought of having to go through that part of the morning, knowing that every last second of that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Pinkie got up and went into the kitchen. “This girl really needs help.” Mrs. Cake said right as she thought Pinkie was out of ear shot. “Every day this mare keeps getting weirder and weirder, one moment she’s freaking out because her friends supposedly forgot about her birth day. Now she claims to be hearing a voice in her head!” “I thought she was always able to hear voices in her head.” Mr. Cake snorted. “I’m being serious, Carrot, this girl needs help. Ever since the day we hired her she’s only been strange… Dear Celestia, I’m surprised she was even able to take care of the kids… let alone not completely destroy the shop.” “Well we could always let her go…” Mr. Cake suggested. “We can’t just kick her out onto the street, what’s she going to do then.” Mrs. Cake said as she looked her husband in the eye. “I don’t know scream about the voices in her head while she walks down the block… maybe go completely insane or something… maybe even start her own bakery… I dunno.” Pinkie sat up against the door, her eyes filled with sadness and her mane completely deflated. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, let alone be surprised on how she was hearing this. During the time of waiting she found herself in the basement, yet she could still hear the Cake’s voices moving from the upstairs and down into her ears. Even now she could still hear that voice coming from the narrator, that deep and wanting to be calm soothing voice yet to her it was annoying, ignorant, and cynical. It taunted her; it described her situation as if everything was calm. Yet it wasn’t! It was driving her completely bonkers, she wanted to leave and runaway. Pinkie fell to her knees and curled up into a ball in the corner of the pitch black basement. Rubbing her eyes she felt tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Stifling back a hiccup she buried deep within herself trying her hardest to keep the taunting voice of the Narrator from hurting her anymore. {My Bedroom} Pushing my chair away from the computer I glared at my screen with a raised eyebrow and a bud light in my right hand. Taking a sip I glanced at my can then back at the screen, swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat I spoke. “Well now I just feel bad…”
Spike and the NarratorSpike slept in the morning like any other dragon would every other day of the week, cept this time he would– “Wh... What? Twilight is that you,” Spike mumbled only half awake, he shifted his body around trying to get comfortable so he can fall back to sleep. Spike raised a curious eyebrow, lifting his head up off his pillow he glanced around his dark room. “Who’s talking,” he asked out loud to no pony in particular. “What do you mean no pony in particular, I’m talking to you,” Spike said confused on how he could hear a random voice even though there’s no other pony in the room. “Am I dreaming,” Spike asked, he furrowed his brow. “Can you stop that? It’s really getting annoying,” he said. “That, right there stop saying ‘he said’” Spike explained, “Oh you're clever.” “Why thank you,” said the voice. “I do take pride in my work.” Spike sighed, taking his blanket in his claw he... He stopped. “Can you stop narrating everything I’m doing,” he asked Spike clenched his eyes shut in frustration. “Please just stop! Okay, just stop! I need to get some sleep it’s like four o’clock in the morning and I need to sleep!” “Well there’s no reason to yell, you might attract unwanted attention,” said the voice. “What are you talk–” “Spike,” Twilight called up from the lower floor. “Who are you talking to?” Spike’s eyes widened. “H-how did you know Twilight’s name,” he asked. “Spike,” Twilight called up again. “Uh, yeah I’m okay, just had a nightmare that’s all!” Spike repli– “Would you shut up!” “Oh my, that wasn’t nice at all.” “You’re annoying me!” He hi- “Just stop okay I know I hissed you don’t need to tell me I did something after I just did it.” “Hey I’m just doing my job okay.” “What job?” “The job where I tell a story,” "What story?” “The story I’m trying to tell right now, I’m a narrator.” “You’re a narrator?” “Yeah, now can I please get back to my job? I’m actually not supposed to interact with the characters.” “Wait, I’m a character?” “...” “Eh, hello, narrator, you can’t just go silent on me here I need answers?” “I wasn’t supposed to do that... Oh shit!” “Wh- what’s happening!?” On the far side of the room– “Now’s not the time for narrating! What’s happening to Twilight’s room?” “If you shut up and let me do my job I can fix this! Now let me narrate!” On the far side of Twilight Sparkle’s room a large crack tore down her bedroom wall. Through the cracks a bright white light pierced through the darkness like a hot knife going through butter, the Spike cried out in pain and shielded his eyes due to the intense rays of light. “AH! My eyes! You jerk why did you let it do that to me!?” Large disembodied arms reached out from the cracks in the wall. Their lengthy fingers grasped onto each side of the wall; each arm began to tear down the wall making the crack even bigger. “What’s going on?” Spike yelled out in fear– “Hey I’m not that scared!” “I accidentally ripped a hole between our dimensional fields!” “Say what!?” “Ugh... I broke the fourth wall!” “Aren’t we technically doing that now?” “Do not question logic! They won’t like it when you question their logic!” A loud menacing howl erupted out of the tear; more disembodied hands reached out and grasped the sides of the tear. The wall began to crinkle and deform like a balled up piece of paper. “Do something!” “I’m trying but I can’t seem to do anything besides describe what’s going on!” Slowly the hole gradually began to grow bigger with every growing second. “Ahha, that’s it!” “What?” “I can just delete what I wrote!” “Wha–” {Delete} Spike slept in the morning like any other dragon would every other day of the week, cept this time he would– “Wh-who’s there?” “Ah, fuck not this again...” {Later that day} I sat back against my computer chair, scratching my chin I glanced up at the undo button in the corner. Curios on about what happened earlier; I took hold of my mouse and guided my cursor over it. Clicking undo the text from my previous work reappeared; leaning forward I squinted my eyes and began to read. A few moments later I sat back in my chair and glared at my work. "What the fuck did I write?"
Twilight and the Narrator“Did you eat your breakfast,” asked my Grandmother. As I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. “Yes Grandma,” I replied. “What about yer vitamins,” she said as she strolled up to the steps on her wheel chair. I stopped about half way up the stairs. “Yes grandma I took my vitamins, now can you please leave me alone I have some work I need to do upstairs.” "I thought we’re going to play some checkers,” she said. Taking a deep breath I spun around and made my way back down the steps. Stepping in front of my grandmother I bent down and cupped my hands around hers. “Granny,” I said softly, “there are more important things in life then playing checkers with you.” My Grandmothers eyes grew sad and her gaze drifted to the floor. Standing up straight I patted her on the shoulder. “Well I’ll see you at dinner Grandma.” Turning back towards the stairs I waved goodbye and journeyed up the steps. {Golden Oaks Library} Twilight read her books in the afternoon like most other ponies do every other day of the week. Cept this time she would be vi– “Who’s there,” she asked confused at the sound of the voice, Twilight began looking around the library. Searching for the voice that was narrating her every action. “Spike is that you,” She called out to her assistant. But she didn’t receive a reply. “Seriously whose ever talking please stop, you’re being very disruptive and I do not approve,” said the disgruntled unicorn. Twilight sighed lying back on her couch she raised her book over her face and began to read. Celestia bent over Luna and kissed her on the snout. “Shh, sister, we do not want our subjects to hear us.” She cooed as she began kissing and nipping at her sister’s neck. Luna blushed and looked away from her sister biting back a moan of pleasure she said, “But, Tia, th-this is not right what if we get caught?” Celestia stroked her sister’s sides which caused Luna to shutter. “As long as you remain silent, Lulu, we won’t have to worry about getting caught,” Celestia said as she slipped her hoof in between Luna’s– Twilight slammed the book closed and chucked it across the room, the book landed on the floor with a loud thud, her face was beaming red and she looked up at the ceiling. “Sweet Celestia that’s not my book on quantum physics! What did you do to my book, and how did you do it?” Twilight stared up at the ceiling looking for whoever was talking, but to her avail nothing replied back to her. “What do you mean nothing replied back to me, I can hear your voice!” Twilight said, “That’s it I’m going to bed.” Twilight stepped off her couch and made her way up the steps, bending down she sniffed herself and recoiled back. “Maybe I should shower first,” she said doing her best to ignore the voice; she frowned. “Just ignore it, Twilight,” She addressed herself. Making her way to the bathroom, she opened the door and turned on the light. Closing it behind her she gritted her teeth; taking her gaze upwards she grumbled something to herself. Using her magic she turned on the shower and stepped in, the beats of lukewarm water smashed against her coat in rhythmic beats. Taking her shampoo in her magical hold she began to wash her mane. “Are you going to narrate everything,” she asked as she scrubbed her mane. Twilight’s question went unanswered as memories of the naughty book began to seep back into her mind. The description of Celestia and her sis- “ENOUGH!” {My Bedroom} I sat there; glaring at the bold text on my screen. How did she…? What!? I was stunned on how Twilight Sparkle was able to cut me off. Yes Spike did before but that was because I spoke to him before hand. But how was she… Able to cut me off even though I haven’t spoke to her. A knock came from my door. “Mr. You are in big trouble!” Shouted my Grandfather. “You hurt your Grandmothers feelings and you-” I went over to my door and locked it. “Tell her I’m sorry Grandpa and I’ll be down in a bit I just have to do something real quick.” “You little runt, unlock this door right now!” I turned on my stereo and began blaring Metallica. “Sorry can’t hear you!” Sitting down I got back to work. {Golden Oaks Library} Twilight took a deep breath, calming her nerves she stepped out of the shower. Using her magic she dried herself instantly; opening the door she made her way to her room. Twilight hopped onto her bed pulling her blankets over herself she tried to fall asleep. Twilight clenched her eyes shut, trying to force the voice out of her head she sighed. “Can you please be quiet I’m trying to sleep,” she moaned. “How about… No.” Twilight’s eyes snapped open at the sound of the voice responding to her. “Eh… Why not?” “Because I’m trying to tell a story.” “What do you mean tell a story?” Twilight asked sitting up from where she lai- “Stop, please just stop!” “But if I don’t describe what you’re doing the viewers will get bored.” “What viewers?” Twilight asked while glancing around the room looking for the audience. “The very few people who’ll actually read this story.” “Read? Like is this some type of book or something?” “You could say something like that.” “So you’re like the narrator?” “Bingo.” “What’s the story supposed to be about?” “You reading that book then masturbating in the shower.” “What! NO! You sick pervert I’ll never stoop down to that low!” “Hey it’s not about what I like, it’s about what they like.” “Who are they?” “The audience.” “Oh…” “Yeah…” “Where are you?” Twilight asked now intrigued by the voice. “I’m in my room sitting at my computer writing this while listening to Metallica, and my Grandpa is-” {My bedroom} A loud bang erupted out of the hallway and my door handle exploded off the door, sending a barrage of splinters my way. Diving onto the floor I covered my head. “Jesus Christ!” I shouted. My Grandpa stepped into the room holding his twelve gauge he tossed it onto my bed. He came over and clasped the back of my neck. “First you’re going to apologize to my wife,” He hissed into my ear. “Then you’re buying me a new door you got that?” I nodded my head. “Cash or credit?”
The Narrator and Celestia Part 1Reaching into my wallet I took out my credit card and handed it over to the cashier, behind me I heard my Grandpa cough into his fist. Turning around I saw him place three six packs of beer into the cart. “Whoa, whoa, whoa I’m not paying for that,” I said. My Grandpa snorted, “Like Hell you are.” I frowned. “I thought we agreed on me only getting the door.” My Grandpa waved his hand to the side. “Maybe you should learn to respect your elders and then maybe I’ll learn to buy my own things. Till then you’re paying for my beer.” I rolled my eyes. “Alright fine, how much?” “Eight fifty.” I shrugged. “Well that ain’t too bad.” “Each,” He spat. “Well there goes my college funds.” {Canterlot Castle} “What I’m saying is if we reopen the trade route between Equestria and the Bison city states then we can solve our problems with the shortage of metals,” ranted the Equestrian Prime minister. “Prime minster Virtuous, the reason why we ended the trade regulation in the first place was because of the constant bandit raids,” Luna stated. Celestia sat bored in her throne, tired seeing her subjects bicker back and forth all morning. Sitting back in her throne she raised an eyebrow, glancing upwards she swore she could hear somepony speaking. Yet the only ones who were speaking in the room at the moment were her sister and the Prime minister. Glancing over at her sister she needed to clarify that she didn’t have one too many drinks earlier this morning. Gently tapping her sister on the shoulder Celestia leaned in close to her sister’s ear and asked, “Sorry to bother you, sis, but do you hear that voice,” She asked. Luna snickered, “Tia, I thought you said we weren’t allowed to tease the Prime minister.” Celestia shook her head then frowned, she was getting real tired of this voice narrating her every action. “No, Lulu, what I mean is do you hear the… How can I explain this, I hear somepony narrating every other ponies actions.” Luna frowned. “I’m sorry, Tia, but I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Celestia sighed and scratched the back of her neck, instantly her face lit up and she said, “Like that, it just said I sighed and scratched myself.” Luna grew concerned, “Sis, are you alright?” “I-I’m fine why do you ask?” “Well, I never seen act in such a way th-” “Hello? I’m sorry to speak out of term here you’re majesties, but are any of you listening to me?” Celestia turned to face the irritated stallion. “I’m sorry Mr. Prime minister. But I’m afraid we are going to have to cut the session short.” The stallion frowned and bowed. “As you wish.” Celestia let out a drawn out breath and began rubbing her temples; this voice is really starting to annoy me, she thought to herself. “Tia, is everything alright you never ended a court session early.” Celestia closed her eyes, trying to rid herself of this voice that was irritating the Hell out of her. “I’m alright just agitated that’s all, excuse me, sis, I have a few minor things I must attend to.” Celestia got up and left the throne room. {The Chaos Chamber} Discord sat lazily on his bed; gazing up at the ceiling he twirled his thumbs. Ever since he was reformed everything was just boring now, on the far side of his room he could hear a knock coming from his door. Discord sighed snapping his finger he appeared instantly in front of the door, taking hold of the handle the door swung open. “Why hello there, Celestia, fancy seeing you here.” “Now’s not the time, Discord, now do you mind me asking, how did I know everything you were doing before you even opened the door?” Discord frowned. “Sorry, what?” “On my way down here I could hear a voice describing everything you were doing up until you opened the door.” Discord raised a confused eyebrow. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, my dear Celestia.” Celestia who was growing suspicious decided to ask. “Discord, is this your doing?” Discord recoiled back. “What, no, no, no, I haven’t done anything out of term since I was reformed.” Celestia sighed knowing that Discord must be telling the truth she took a few steps back. “Oh this is getting really annoying,” She muttered to herself. Discord who was also beginning to grow curios decided to ask. “What exactly is this voice saying?” “It’s narrating… Everything, describing every movement,” Celestia explained while she gently guided her hoof along the ground. Discord smiled. “So you mean like this? Celestia sat there looking at Discord with a very agitated look while he narrated everything she was doing while another voice was doing the same–” “Yes,” Celestia said furrowing her brows. “Exactly like that, now can you please stop I don’t need two beings narrating my life.” Discord smiled deviously. “Oh the fun I could have doing that, and just by seeing you I can tell it just drives you mad!” Discord rubbed his palms together chuckling to himself thinking about how much fun he’s going to have later when toying with the guards. “You better not toy with my subjects later,” Celestia said. Discord frowned. “Wait–How–what!? You aren’t messing around you’re really having something narrate everything for you!” Celestia nodded her head. “And yes it is driving me mad.” {My Bedroom} A knock came from my newly replaced door. “Hey, Boy, your Grandmothers been calling you for over the past ten minutes!” I sighed, “Tell her I’ll be there in a minute I’m in middle of something.” “You better not be doing what I think you’re doing,” My Grandfather said. “What are you talking about, Grandpa?” I asked. “They say doing that stuff makes you blind, now go help your Grandmother.” “Why can’t you go help her?” “Boy, I’m in the middle of chopping wood. Now go help your Grandmother before I blow freaking hole in this door.” I sighed, “Alright.” Getting up from my computer I saved my progress and went down stairs. Opening the door I was greeted by my Grandfather who was looking down at me with a stern expression. As I closed my door I began heading down the hallway to the stairs, behind me though I heard a strange metallic noise coming from my room. “What the-?” My Grandfather pushed me forward. “Come on, boy, your room ain’t going anywhere no move it.” {Our living room} My Grandmother was sitting in her wheel chair knitting. “Hey, Granny,” I said taking my gaze to the floor. “Grandpa said you needed some help.” My Grandmother didn’t say anything; she just nodded her head and pointed to the quilt she was knitting. In the center was a large hole. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry again for yesterday.” She nodded her head again. “Apology accepted now could you please stitch that part back together for me.” I raised an eyebrow. “Granny, you know I can’t stitch.” “Well there’s always a time and a place to learn, now get to it, boy,” She said, with a sigh I sat down next to her and attempted to get to work. Taking the needle I began stitching while working I accidentally stabbed myself. “Ah! Fu–” Behind me I felt my Grandmothers hand collide with the back of my head. “Watch your language young man!” {To Be Continued}
The Narrator and Celestia Part 2Setting the needle down I sighed, finally after two whole hours I was able to finish the stitch. “Why thank you,” said my Grandmother, “Stitching isn’t that bad isn’t it.” Looking down at my blood drenched hands I sighed. “I think my hands would object to that, Granny.” My Grandmother chuckled, reaching over she patted me on the back. “You’ll get better in all due time.” Getting up I patted my legs down. “Yeah I highly doubt that.” Looking back at my Grandmother I saw that she was frowning. “Now why would you say that?” “Because I’m never going to stitch,” I said as I turned towards the kitchen to get me something to drink. My Grandmother rolled her eyes. “You don’t do anything.” Turning around I pointed at her. “Now that’s a dead lie, I do plenty of things.” She looked at me unconvinced. “Like what?” “I write for starters,” I said opening the fridge and grabbing the gallon of tea. “Now when did you start writing?” Granny asked as she strolled into the kitchen. “When you guys got me that new computer,” I said as I poured myself a glass, looking at my Granny I gestured towards the tea, “Want some?” Granny shook her head. “I don’t drink tea, and now stop trying to change the subject. What do write about?” “Stuff,” I said not wanting to tell her I write about pastel colored ponies and how I can somehow interact with them. “well I’m going back upstairs. See you at dinner,” I said patting her on the shoulder. “Hey don’t just go waltzing on out of here, you didn’t answer my question.” I began walking up the steps that were just outside the kitchen door. “Sorry, Granny, but I got some studying to do.” “Studying? But school isn’t for another two weeks where are you going?” “Sorry, what can’t hear you,” I said as I pulled my bedroom door shut. Turning the lock until I heard it click, I turned to face my computer. The monitor was turned on and all what was on it was Microsoft word. But what confused me was that I distinctly remember turning it off after I saved my progress, as I approached my pc I noticed something was wrong in the top left corner. “Oh, nonononononono, not good, not good at all!” A small crack was left in my monitor. “Shit, how did this happen!?” With a sigh I sat down in my chair. “Ugh, it’s nothing major; it’s just a small crack.” I sighed looking up at my screen I noticed something typed on my screen. Time to begin part two shall we? {Celestia’s Chamber} Celestia laid alone in her bed at night like most days of the week, alone and Nopony to be with her. Comfort her and– “Oh… Please, not you again…” Celestia groaned, “Just stop okay; I had enough of your shenanigans earlier. Just leave me alone and let me rest.” Celestia sighed rolling over in bed she magically took one of her pillows and covered her head trying to drown out the voice. But it would not leave, how could it? How could something in her head magically disappear? Could it? Probably, but there’s no way to test that theory, one would ne– “Shut up! Okay, just please I’m trying to sleep,” Celestia said angrily, she took a deep breath and buried her face deep into her pillow. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this angry with something she couldn’t see in fact. She doesn’t even remember being angry at something she couldn’t see, then again there was that one time she and Luna tried out those interesting plants in the gar– “Don’t you bring that day back up! Lulu and I have vowed to never speak of that day ever again!” Celestia covered her ears with her hooves and rolled over in bed, but knowing that there was no way to cease this voice that was narrating everything that she was doing and thinking she decided to ask. “What do you want from me?” Celestia asked using her magic she lit a nearby candle and observed the room, when the voice didn’t reply she snorted. Celestia rose up from her bed… “I’m not moving.” Celestia realized that she needed to speak to Luna about something and she… “I said, ‘I’m not moving.’” Celestia- “No.” Ce– “Do you really think I’m going to get up to do whatever you want me to do?” “It would help if you did, yes.” “Oh, so now you decide to speak to me.” “Well when somebody–” “Pony,” Celestia corrected, “Oh shut up!” “When Somepony doesn’t want to cooperate with me yes I do speak to them.” “If I cooperate will you leave me then?” Cel– “Please just stop with narrating at the moment.” “God, fine I’ll stop. And yes, when I’m done telling the story I’ll leave you then.” “Wait story, what do you mean by story?” “I don’t know the ones you tell around fire places.” “Well no need to be rude about it, fine what do you need me to do?” “Well you’ll find out as the story goes.” Celestia rolled over in bed the sense of having no other pony to spend this glorious night with made her feel lonely. “Actually I feel quiet fin–” “Hey! Do you want me gone or not?” “Ugh, fine.” A knock came from Celestia’s door. “Tia, are you alright?” Celestia got up from her bed and made her way over to the door, opening it she found a very concerned Luna. “Luna, what are you doing here?” “One of my subjects came and told me that you were shouting angrily at somepony. Now where is this intruder?” Luna asked as she peeked over her sister’s shoulder. Celestia smiled at the sight of her protective sister, the way her expression could go from heartwarming to straight protective mode warmed her on the inside. “I assure you, Luna, I’m alright. There’s nopony here, now please go back to attending to your duties.” “Actually, Tia, I also came down here to speak to you about earlier.” Celestia raised an eyebrow.“What are you talking about,” Luna sighed, “Discord came to me telling me how you have some type of voice narrating everything you are doing.” Celestia shook her head no. “No that is not true that’s just Discord being him old self trying to cause problems.” Luna didn’t look convinced. “Then what was that all about earlier at court when you asked me did I hear a certain voice?” Who knew a confused and worried Luna could seem so hot– “What!?” Celestia shouted, “Are you saying I’m sexually aroused by my sister!?” Luna recoiled back slowly she began to back away from her sister. “Tia, you’re starting to scare me now… Who are you talking to?” “I’m sorry, Luna, it’s just that… Eh…” Celestia couldn’t help herself but look at Luna’s flank, oh that nice luscious flank. What she would do to throw that on the side of a bud and fuck her brains out until she screams into the night. Celestia stood there stunned by what she was hearing, her face was beaming red and her pupils have shrunken to mere pin pricks. “I’m not having intercourse with my sister!” “Do it!” “No! That’s just wrong!” “Do it you wimp!” “No, and I am not a wimp!” Luna ran out of Celestia’s room. “Guards! Guards!” “Is something wrong, Princess?” Asked the Guard who was stationed at the other end of the hallway. “Yes, I need you to go down into town and request for Doctor Arc.” The stallion nodded his head and after a brisk salute he ran off. “I said, ‘do it!’” “Now you’re just sounding like a young filly that can’t get her way.” “Just think… alright… just for a second… Hear me out here…” “Are you alright you sound a bit drowsy…?” “I said, ‘think’” “Well I can’t with you talking!” “Alright, now what would Jesus do?” “Who’s Jesus?” “Now I think… Jesus would fuck yo–” “Enough, that’s it I’m gone I’m not doing this...” Celestia said as she went back into her room, getting on her bed she blew out the candle and attempted to go to sleep. “Fine! Be downer! I’ll go find someone else… Fucking tyrannical biiiitch…” *Wham!* Uhj yuymhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhj {My bedroom} The beer can resting on top of my monitor tipped over and bonked me on my head, startling me awake. Rubbing the side of my aching head which was screaming due my migraine, I picked my head up off my keyboard and glanced up at my blinding monitor. “What,” I mumbled as I glared at the typed words on my Microsoft word page. “That’s it I’m always writing drunk now…” Clenching my gut I winced, “Okay maybe not,” I said as I quickly got and ran to the bathroom.
The Narrator and Confusion (Optional)“Checkmate.” Said my Grandmother for the third time in a row. “Wait, what? How, what!?” I said again for the third time in a row. My Grandmother giggled, “Maybe if you stop moving your King first and actually think of an actual strategy you’ll actually do good at something for once.” I sighed bending over to get a better look at the board I ran a hand through my hair. “But… Ugh, never mind, new game?” I asked. My Grandmother smirked. “What’s the point you’re just going to lose again.” My mouth fell open. “Oh you I’ll show you, watch me I won’t lose this time.” Behind me I heard the door open as my Grandfather stormed in pissed as usual, taking his hat off he slammed it on the floor. “Is something wrong, sweaty?” Asked Granny. “Yeah something’s wrong, it’s that damn tractor! It broke down again this like the third time in row this week!” I leaned over to get a glimpse at my Grandfather. “A lot of things are happening for a third time,” I muttered to myself. My Grandpa took a deep breath, rubbing a hand over his bald head he said, “I need something to drink.” Turning back to my Granny I smiled. “Another game–” “WHO THE FUCK FINISHED OFF MY SIX PACK!?” Instantly I felt my heart drop at sound of his yelling, I could feel the vibrations from the stomping of his feet as he stormed back into the living room. “Oh shi– I mean crap” I censored myself in front of my Grandmother as I cradled my head. Frustrated at how stupid I was for drinking and writing the night before. My Grandfather took hold of my shoulder and spun me around so that I was facing him; Jesus was he strong despite his age. “What did I tell you about getting into my beer,” He snarled. “Not to drink it if I ask?” I said shrugging my shoulders. “No, I said, ‘don’t drink it at all!’” He shouted in my face. Wincing I leaned my head back trying to gain distance between each other. “Well I did buy it so in a way it’s kind of mine Grandpa.” “Yeah but you bought it for me, because of what you said to your dear Grandmother.” I nodded my head. “True, but again it did come out of my wallet.” My Grandfather glared at me, letting go he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s besides the… You know what whatever fine you win… You always win… Shows over everyone go home,” He said as he stormed back off into the kitchen. Just like how most of our arguments ended, my Grandfather stormed off only to come back hours later and bring it up. Turning to face my Grandmother I sighed, looking at the clock on the wall I clenched my fist. I have to go to work today in ten minutes, looking up at Granny I shook my head. “Sorry, Granny, I have to go.” My Grandmother nodded her head, remaining silent as usual after one of our arguments. Just so she won’t provoke any of us and have turn into another screaming match, even though half the time the only one screaming was my Grandfather. {Best Buy} I work in the local Best Buy in down town which is about two hours away from home, which is in the middle of fucking nowhere on a farm. I really did nothing special at work I mostly carried out merchandise and took care of empty carts. Here and there if no one was around I would attend to a cash register if I needed to. It wasn’t a bad job, didn’t really have that many friends mostly because everyone gave me the silent treatment or they had better people to talk to. So I’d mostly wander the halls and- “Hey you, cart boy!” I stopped turning around I saw my manager holding a phone. “I have a name you know,” I said. He shrugged. “So, well anyways here it’s for you.’ He said handing me the white telephone. Taking the wireless telephone I brought up to my ear and said, “Yellow?” “Oh my fucking God!” Shouted a voice in frustration on the other line. Bringing the phone away from ear so that I wouldn’t go deaf I slowly brought it back. “Who is this?” I asked my manager. He shrugged. “I dunno he claims to be your editor or something.” Once the phone was back in position I could hear the voice ranting. “Do you know how fucking stupid you sound when you answered the phone that way? God you don’t greet people by saying a fucking color, you say hello! You know like with an *H** good God why did I have write that in. It’s so freaking stupid!”* I raised a confused eyebrow. “Wait what do you mean wrote that in?” “What, whatever just listen here, pal, you don’t know me but I defiantly know you.” “Who are you?” “Names don’t matter right now, boy, but I’ll tell you this you need to write better material.” “Wait what the fuck are you talking about? And how do you know I write, I haven’t even posted anything on the internet.” “Hey, boy, shut the fuck up okay, I don’t have long okay the longer I talk to you the bigger crack forms okay? “What? I’m so confused.” “Yeah and I bet they are too, but I’m not complaining this is important information.” “Who’s they and why are you telling me this if I won’t understand.” “I dunno because I’m too lazy to explain it in a better and more detailed way.” “B-but that doesn’t make any fucking sense!” “The plot doesn’t make any sense, boy, now shut the fuck up before it’s too la–” The phone went silent… “Well that didn’t make any sense.”
The Narrator and ApplejackTaking out my house keys I unlocked the front door to my Grandparents house, making my way into the kitchen. I noticed a note on the refrigerator door claiming that my Grandparents left to do some errands. Opening the fridge I reached in and took out one my Grandpa’s beers cracking it open I took a sip and went up stairs to work. Opening my bedroom door, I noticed my computer was turned on again. “Impossible,” I said I know I turned it off when I left for work this morning. I cautiously approached my computer, taking my chair I sat down and gazed at the monitor. Like before it was on Microsoft word but this time there was a list… A list of names from the show MLP. I ran downstairs snatching the house phone up off the charger I decided to call an old friend of mine. Dialing the number I sat there waiting. “Come on, come on, pick up dammit.” “Hello?” “Tommy!” I said “What do you want man it’s like… Two o’clock in the afternoon,” he said sounding as if he has just woken up. “I think my computer is possessed,” I said peeking up the steps that lead to my room. Tommy chuckled, “You got to be kidding me.” “No, Tommy, I’m being completely serious. Ever since I got that damn thing and I tried typing my stories, weird shit keeps happening!” “Like what?” “It’s hard to explain but it’s like the characters are alive!” Tommy busted a gut. “You… What?” “I’m being serious, Tommy.” “This has got to be one of the stupidest pranks you tried to pull on me yet.” “Tommy, I’m not trying to prank you. We’ve known each other for three years now, why would I fuck with you like this?” Tommy sighed, “Fine let’s say your computer is possessed what is it doing?” “Well yesterday when I turned it off it came on and opened Microsoft word by itself, and when I checked it out some body typed something on it.” “Okay,” Tommy said unconvinced, “what did it say?” “Time to begin part two shall we, that’s what it said,” I explained. “Alright and what about today, did anything spooky happen today,” he chuckled. “Yes actually, same thing it came on opened up word and now there’s a list of names!” “What are the names?” “Characters from the show MLP!” “Ha, maybe it wants you to pick one or something.” Tommy laughed, “Wait a second my girlfriends calling me; I’ll talk to you later.” With that Tommy hung up; taking my gaze up the stairs I heard another similar metallic groan that I heard a few nights before. Grabbing a hold of the railing I made my way up the steps, opening my bedroom door I went over to my computer. Sitting down I looked at the list of names, the top of the list were all the man six. Twilight’s name had bold X next to it same with Celestia, and Spike; looking down the list I found Applejack. With a sigh I placed my cursor over her name, only to find that my cursor changed to the little hand signaling that I can click on it. Taking a deep breath I clicked on it and it opened a new document with large bold words at the top saying. Let’s see what Applejack is doing shall we? {Sweet Apple acres} Applejack did the dishes with her Granny like… Well hardly ever but- “Granny, do you hear somepony talkin’” {My bedroom} “Oh cut me off will you,” I said taking my beer and a few others I took a gulp. “Well let’s see how you like this.” {Sweet Apple Acres} Granny Smith who was hardly paying any attention and was too focused on getting her job done; Applejack glanced around the room trying to figure out who was speaking. “Big Mac is that you,” She asked. When Applejack didn’t receive a reply she sighed and decided to get back to work. Once she finished the dishes she decided get ready to work in field. Making her way up to her room, Applejack heard a few faint giggles coming from Applebloom’s bedroom. Curious on what her little sister was– “Actually ah, don’t really care. She and her little friends can do whatever they want as long as there careful-” Applejack heard another round of giggles coming from the room, curious on what was- “Ah told ya, I ain’t curious.” Applejack the stubborn hard headed mule who was curious on what was in the room decided to go and check! “Fine, fine, fine I’ll go check,” She said waving her hoof to the side as she made her way up to her sister’s door. Raising her hoof she… Stopped. “Why are you saying everything that Ah’m do in,” She whispered. When Applejack didn’t receive a reply she sho– “No, no, no answer me. Why are ya saying everything that Ah’m do in?” “How about you just knock on that door and see what they’re doing.” “How about you answer mah question?” “Just knock on the door will ya.” “Answer my question first.” “Lady we can play twenty questions after you open the door.” “Ugh, fine.” Applejack raised her hoof knocked three times, behind the door came a few gasps followed by the sounds of three fillies moving hastily moving behind the door. Applejack raised her eyebrow confused by the strange noises coming from behind the door. Forgetting about the voice for a second Applejack asked, “Applebloom, may I come in?” “Eh… maybe hold on…” said the filly from behind the door. Applejack was suspicious now, not wanting to wait she opened the door and found the three fillies standing around a magazine. At first the sight seemed innocent as if nothing was wrong, until AJ noticed the open magazine. On the page was a very attractive mare that had her Hind legs spread wide open revealing her special parts and a very curious hoof playing around down there. Applejack’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Wh… what in tarnation is this!?” She flung her hooves up in the air. “It’s not what it looks like!” Scootaloo said trying to cover the foul magazine. “Oh ah sure know what this looks like girls,” Applejack growled, “Where did you get this… this magazine from anyways? Was it from Big Mac’s room if so I swear me and him or going to have a–” “Actually we got it from yer room, sis,” Applebloom said smiling sheepishly; Applejack’s jaw officially met the floor. “Wait what; Ah never had anything like this ever!” “Well why did we find it on your bed then,” asked Sweetie Belle. “Wait… What?” Applejack couldn’t believe what she was hearing; she doesn’t ever remember buying such lovely piece of literature. Nor does she ever remember placing this magnificent magazine on such a marvelous display. (Also currently known as her bed.) Left wide open so that all the residents of Equestria could have a luxurious look at it’s wonderful pic- “Would you just shut up!” Applejack snapped at the Narrator. “Oh my, no need to be rude, Darling, I’m just explaining to the world how wonderfully magnificent this magazine is!” Applejack gritted her teeth in frustration, looking back down at the three fillies that seemed to still be in shock due to her outburst. “Ah’em sorry Ah didn’t mean to yell like that,” Applejack said trying to cover herself. “It’s okay, Applejack, you don’t need to hide your feelings anymore,” Sweetie Belle said. “What are you talking about?” Applejack asked raising an eyebrow in confusion. “She’s saying there’s no need to stay in closet anymore,” Scootaloo said. AJ’s eyes widened. “What no! No, no, no it’s not like that at all Ah swear.” “Sis, there’s no need to lie, Ah’em okay with whatever yer into,” Applebloom said with a warm smile. AJ’s left eye twitched. “Ah… Uh…” “Girls… I think we broke her,” Sweetie Belle said. “Huh, Applejack, are you okay?” Applebloom asked as she waved a hoof in front of her sister’s face. Applejack shook her head. “Ah, Ah think Ah’m gonna go lie down for a bit,” She said as she stumbled out of the room. Shrugging their shoulders the two fillies turned to see Scootaloo having trouble with the glories magazine. “What’s wrong Scoots?” “The dang pages seem to be stuck together!”
The Narrator and Interruptions The Narrator and Interruptions {Carousel Boutique} Rarity worked on her dresses every afternoon, like she alwa– “I’m sorry what was that?” “GOD DAMMIT!” “Oh my, I messed up the stitch!” “Why do you ponies constantly interrupt me, when I’m trying to write my stories!?” “What are you talking about?” Rarity asked not looking up from her work. “What was that?” “Ugh, can you please just go along with what I’m writing?” “Sorry what?” Rarity asked completely engrossed in her work. “Oh my God she won’t even–” Over on the other side of the boutique the door flung open only to reveal a brown earthpony with an hourglass on his flank. “Sorry to bother you, Rarity, but have you finished mine and Ditzy’s outfits yet for the Gala?” “Oh great bring the Time Lord into this now…” “Who said that,” asked Rarity. “I dunno,” said the Doctor. “Oh great both of you can hear me, what’s next the cutie mar–” “Rarity,” said Sweetie Belle “is it okay if the girls and I borrow one of the tweezers?” “Well fuck I spoke to soon.” “Did you hear that,” asked the Doctor. “Yeah hold on, Doctor, they’re in the kitchen in the second drawer on the left.” “Alright thanks.” Said Sweetie Belle as she ran by, Rarity raised a curious eyebrow. “Why do you girls need them anyways?” Sweetie Belle stopped. “Well back at Applebloom’s we found a cool magazine but some of the pages are stuck together and we can't get a good grip on them. Plus when we tried it tasted really salty and gross.” {My Bedroom} Leaning back in my chair I stared at my monitor with the most disgusted face I had ever made up. After few minutes I reached for my keyboard but then I hesitated. “Wh… Why, eh… What!?” I yelled the pitch of my voice almost being able to match those of a young toddler. “What’s going on in there?” Asked my Grandfather who must have been walking past my room to get to the bathroom. “Eh, nothing you want to know, Grandpa, just trust me on this one!” “You better not be on that web site again.” “I’m not,” I replied back as I turned back towards my monitor. Reaching for my beer I took a large gulp, shaking my head I gasped. “Alright let’s do this.” {Carousel Boutique} Rarity shared a confused look with the Doctor as Sweetie Belle scampered off back into the ki– “So how has your afternoon been going for you, Doctor," Rarity asked as she got back to work. “Aw, come on I'm workin here–” “Oh it’s been quite nice really, Ditzy and I just got back from our recent trip and she got me this neat old thing,” he said as he brought out a pretty fancy looking pocket watch. “Hey stop cutting me off you di–” “Oh that’s beautiful,” Rarity said as she eyed the watch. “Where’d she get it?” “I swear to God if any of you cut me off one m–” “I don’t know really, I was working on an experiment of mine when she came up behind me and–” “No! You’re not telling the story I a–” The doors to boutique flew open, and in came Pinkie Pie, and bunch other ponies that seem to be in a congaline. Pinkie Pie held a large pink cannon in front of her that blasted confetti and streamers all over the room. “It’s time to Part–” {My bedroom} Flipping my keyboard I stood up. “Fuck this shit I’m making a sandwich.”
The Narrator and Rainbow DashLet’s see what Rainbow Dash is doing shall we? Rainbow Dash practiced for the Wonderbolts like she did every day of the week, cept this time she would… end up flying into a tree… Oh God that must’ve… oh shit I thank she’s actually hurt! {That Ponyville hospital that I have no idea what it’s called} Rainbow Dash laid in the hospital bed hospitalized like she did every time she didn’t watch where she was flying. Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up as she gently glanced up at the ceiling. “I was watching where I was going, and it’s just that when you started speaking you scared the living hay out of me!” “Oh… are you okay?” Dash shook her head as she faced hoofed with her non casted leg. “Do I look okay?” “Yeah you look rather fine to me; all you need is some duct ta–” “I’m in serious pain right now thanks to you!” “Oh you’re welcome.” Dash sighed as she once again faced hoofed, Dash stopped her brow furrowed as she stared up at the ceiling with an irritated look. “Can you please shut up?” “Oh I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t stop. You see I’m kind of in the middle of doing my job.” “What job,” Dash asked, “I don’t see you doing anything matter of fact I don’t see you.” “Ugh, yeah that’s the thing you can’t see me… matter of fact all you can do is hear me.” “Where are you,” Dash asked as she shifted in th– “You don’t have to say everything…” “You see I’m supposed… You know what I’m really getting real tired of writing this conversation over and over… You know what I think it’s time for a transition.” “Trans–wha–?” {WEEE!} “So your job is to narrate ponies… for other pony’s entertainment?” “Of Course, I did say I’m a narrator.” “Well… where are these other ponies anyways?” “Oh hohoho my silly, Dashie, please don’t ask stupid questions.” “How is that a stupid question, what’s the point of narrating some pony’s life for others entertainment if there’s nopony here to listen to it?” “…” “Hello?” “Like I said Dash, ‘don’t ask stupid questions.’” “But–” “Ah–b–b– no buts, okay don’t ask stupid questions.” “I’m just saying that there’s–” “Stop questioning my inferior logic!” “Alright! Fine geez no need to throw a tantrum,” Dash said as she once again shifted in her bed trying to get comfortable. “Okay, uh… Why are you narrating me anyways, like I’m sitting here in a hospital bed and I will be for three days… So not much is going to happen so…” “Okay I’ll agree with you there… I didn’t really think this for ahead.” “Yeah… so you’re listeners might be pretty bored–” “Readers they’re readers.” “Wait so you’re writing all this down?” “Yeah, pretty much.” “You must be a pretty fast writer.” “Yeah I bet you could say I’m the fastest wri–” “Just don’t, don’t even try.” “Yeah… I guess I shouldn’t.” {Thirty boring fucking minutes later!} “So you live with your Grandparents?” “Yeah, it’s not bad… like it could be worse I could be stuck with my Dad.” “Oh, what’s up with your Da–” “Ms. Dash… who are you speaking to,” asked Nurse Redheart. Dash’s attention instantly shot down towards the confused Nurse, her face flushed instantly with embarrassment. “Sorry what,” Dash asked trying to cover herself. “Is everything alright, Ms. Dash, if not I can go get Dr. Stitches,” Nurse Redheart suggested, as she approached Dash’s bed side. “Em… No thanks everything’s alright I don’t need to spend an extra night here,” Dash said quickly as she tried to push herself away from the mare. Nurse Redheart reached out with her right hoof and gently placed it on Dash’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Ms. Dash, we are not going to keep you here for an extra day,” she chuckled at the over exaggerating mare. Dash shot an aggravated look up at the ceiling. “Why you,” She growled. “Did I do something wrong, Rainbow?” She asked as she began to massage Dash’s shoulder. Dash eyes grew wide as the Nurse gently massaged her stiff shoulders. “Wh–what are you doing!?” She shouted as she tried to pull herself away only to succeed by falling off her bed and landing on her back with a thud. “Ah, son of a– you did that on purpose!” Dash accused as she shot a hoof up in the air. “I didn’t do anything on purpose!” Nurse Redheart scoffed. “Not you, him!” Dash shouted stupidly in anger. “Wait what?” Nurse Redheart stood back with a very confused look; she took a few glances around the small hospital room. Only to find nothing in her short search. “There’s nopony else in here besides the two of us.” Once Dash realized what she said she instantly covered her mouth. “Whoops.” Before Dash could do anything else Nurse Redheart was on her in an instant. “What the–what are you doing?” Dash raised her good hoof up to her chest and tried to push her off. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, Dash,” Redheart said she licked her lips. “Waiting for what!?” Dash’s eyes shrunk into small dots as Redhearts eye took on a lustful look. “Do it! Do it while you still have a chance!” “Do what?” Dash asked as the Nurse seemed to have toned her out and was too focused on getting her hooves on the injured mare. “Fuck her!” “Say what, I’m not doing that! I’m not into that sort of thing,” Dash said as she began to lose strength. “Wait… What?” “I’m only into Stallions, geez, why does everypony think I’m gay,” She said as she was able to slip her hind hoof under Redheart placing it on her belly she was able to push her off. “Well… I assumed that, since you have… I dunno the mane and… everyone else seems to enjoy a gay–” “Really,” Dash said as she attempted to climb back onto the bed. “Just because I have a Rainbow mane and I act like a tomboy that makes me–” “Don’t judge their logic! They won’t like it when you judge their logic!” “Wait, who are the–” {My Bedroom} Three knocks came from my door. “Come in,” I called out to whoever was at my door. To my left I heard the door open and I heard a very distinctly familiar voice catch my ear. “Sup Bitch?”
The Narrator and Creepy TextTommy brought his face up to my computer monitor. “What’cha written there buddy,” he asked as I tried to push him away. “Tommy, where the Hell did you come from,” I asked finally succeeding in being able to push him away from the computer. “I came from town you dimwit,” He said as he sat back on the edge of my bed about three feet away from me. I rolled my eyes. “Alright, smart ass, how did you get here?” Tommy scratched the back of his neck as he glanced at me with a unconvinced look. “What does it look like, I drove here.” I gawked at him. “Tommy, you don’t even have your license yet.” Now it was Tommy’s turn to gawk at me. “Now who in their right mind told you that?” “I don’t know I just assumed.” I shrugged. Tommy shook his head. “I actually got my license a week ago; I meant to tell you when you called me. But you never really gave me a chance sense you kept ranting on about your possessed computer.” “Well it is,” I said as I popped the tap off my cola. Tommy rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure it is,” He said as he turned to face my bed. “As if text can magically appear on your screen; pssh, please… What are you looking at?” On the computer screen in front of me was large amount of text that seemed to have seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Describing everything we have been saying, doing, and thinking. “Oh that’s fucking creepy.” Right below all of that were five bold capitalized words that I read out loud. {Sugar Cube Corner “CAN YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!?” Pinkie Pie shouted angrily up at the ceiling inside sugar free corner. Pinkie sighed and clasped her hooves over her ears as she rested her head on the counter as she waited for the cake to finish baking. Taking her hooves off her ears she glanced around the room with disgruntled look trying to figure out the voice she seemed to be hearing. It was boring and rude and wouldn’t leave her alone and was constantly pestering her to do things that she didn’t want to do. With annoyed groan she again placed her head back onto the counter and covered her ears, after a few minutes of doing this. She began smell something unusual it was foul smell one the pony didn’t like and she instantly shot up from where she sat. Pinkie Pie could see black smoke coming out of her kitchen and she knew all too well that she didn’t hear the ding of the oven because of her ear cover– “That’s only because you made me you big meanie! And I placed the cake in there five minutes ago, it can’t be burning.” From within the kitchen Pinkie could hear the smoke alarm going berserk. “What’s a smoke alarm?” Pinkie asked as she glanced around the room aimlessly. After waiting a wasted moment for a reply she didn’t even receive; Pinkie decided that if the voice wanted her to go– “I didn’t decide on an–” Once Pinkie was done talking she decided that whatever was beeping in the kitchen she should go… “Omigawd! When did we make the chocolate strawberry covered cupcakes! Oh I always wanted to taste one of these,” She said as she reached for one of the delicious cupcakes, only to be halted by a materializing note above them saying don’t touch they’re only for the customers. “Aww… That sign wasn’t there a second ago.” Turning away from the counter Pinkie decided that she should now go and investigate the burning kitchen and– Suddenly the door to Sugar Cube corner busted open and in come a crew of fire mares and stallions. Pinkie Pie was then grabbed by two mares who then began dragging her out of the burning building– {My Bedroom} “What are you doing?” I stood in the open door of my room watching Tommy who was frantically typing at my computer. Who full attention was wrapped around the monitor as he typed every word with immense speed; taking a sip of my new can of cola I knocked on the side of the door. “Huh, what!? Where!?” Tommy fell back against my chair as if something has just released him glancing around confused Tommy looked over at me. “What just happened,” he asked. To my left I heard the clicking of keys as my keyboard continued to type out the rest of the story, “Holy… shit,” Tommy glared wide eyed at the screen as the words continued to form on the screen. Let’s see how this chapter ends shall we…? “I’m done...” Tommy said as he got up. “I’m going to go to the nearest bar think about my life and get shit faced,” Tommy said as he brushed past me. “I’m joining you,” I said as I followed behind.
The Narrator and Somewhat Pinkie“Boy when are you gonna learn that: your life doesn’t need to revolve around that computer thing of yours? Why don’t you do something better with your life and go get yourself a beautiful girlfriend or something.” Asked my Grandpa. I took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich and glanced over at him. “I told you, Gran Dad, my whole life doesn’t revolve around that thing,” I said my mouth full of food. Moments later I felt a hand collide with the back of my head. “Ow, what was that for!?” “What did I tell you about talking with your mouth full,” my Grandmother scolded as she strolled past me on her wheelchair. Mumbling angrily I ran my hand over the sore spot on the back my head. “Anyways,” I began, “my whole life doesn’t revolve around the computer, and I do somewhat have a girl friend,” I explained to my Grandfather who was sitting on the other side of the table. “Like who,” he snorted as he impaled a carrot with his fork. “Lindys Folk from work,” I said silently offended. “You mean that whore from town,” my Grandfather said he slowly chewed on his food. “Herald,” My Grandmother snapped. “Hey that’s my friend you’re talking about!” I said as I slammed my sandwich down onto the plate. “Kidding, kidding,” my Grandfather chuckled as he held his hands up in his defense. “Well that wasn’t funny at all,” my Grandmother said as she placed her plate in the sink. “Seriously though,” I sighed and took my sandwich in hand. “That wasn’t funny at all.” My Grandfather rolled his eyes and stood up taking his plate he made his way over to the sink. “I’m sorry, but still I’m not too fond of that Lindsey girl. Last time you brought her over here she almost ruined my tractor.” Before I could to tell my Grandpa that the tractor incident happened three years ago, my phone exploded into a wave of vibrations. “Hold on I need to take this,” I mumbled as I took out my phone, getting up from my seat I made my way out of the kitchen and into the living room. “Hello?” I said. “Hey, man, check your email,” Tommy said quickly and completely out of nowhere. “Wait what,” I said as I turned towards the stairs leading up to my room and the restroom. “Did I stutter? I said, ‘go and check your email.’” He sighed. “Why?” “Just do it dammit!” “Alright fine,” I said as I went up the stairs. {My bedroom} Sitting down in my chair, I opened up Google Chrome and went straight to my email. “Alright are you there yet?” Tommy asked anxiously. I raised a curious eyebrow. “Is everything alright, man, you’re acting pretty weird?” “Actually no, everything is not alright; in fact I’m a little freaked out. Are you there now?” “Yes, yes I am, jeez,” I mumbled as I opened my inbox. “What does the message say?” I leaned forward and squinted my eyes to get a better look. “It’s time…” {Ponyville Market Place} Pinkie Pie sulked through the Market Place like she didn’t every other day of the week, cept this time she’d be– “Annoyed by the same intro the narrator creates for every character he narrates…” … “Yep I expected you to be silent,” Pinkie sighed and continued down her path towards Sugar Cube Corner. As Pinkie ventured through the Market Place she couldn’t help but notice– “The lack of ponies here except for, Twilight and Applejack down by the apple cart having a nice chat; yeah kind of saw that coming.” … “Again with the silence, you know I think this is the time you’re supposed to start talking to me.” “You know I think you’re really out of character.” “And here we go.” “Why are you acting like this? You’re supposed to be upbeat and super excited and what not.” Pinkie stopped and shook her head. “No, I’m supposed to be in character tomorrow when I was scheduled to be narrated.” “Wait scheduled, what the fu–” “Ah ha ha, language, mister.” “What this is my story.” “But still not all the fans like to hear bad words every other sentence.” “What fans I haven’t even gotten around to posting everything yet, honestly I don’t even think I’m going to if this keeps up.” Pinkie chuckled. “Oh author the things you don’t know about.” “What the Hell are you talking about?” “Things you won’t learn about until later.” “Wait what, how would you know about later?” “I read ahead.” “Wait, what–” {My Bedroom} My bedroom door blew open and Tommy came in. “Quickly, Man, there’s giant fucking colorful alien robots that came from the meteorites and out of the gorund and they’re blowing shit up an– {My Bedroom} “Ah Jesus,” I cried out as I quickly sat up in my bed, sweat poured down my face as I took the edge of my blanket to wipe myself off. In the corner my T.V. was left on but all what was left was static and white noise. “Alright that’s the last time I watch T.V. before be–” I sat there horrified, my bones chilled to the bone. In front of me on my computer screen is large bold words were. It’s Time…
The Narrator and Now Finally Pinkie PiePinkie Pie sat behind the counter in Sugar Cube Corner like she did every other day of the week, except this time she instead of being in a good jolly old mood like she usually is. She was stuck in her agitated, all joyfulness deprived look. She sat with her head resting on the counter as she impatiently tapped her right hoof in a rhythmic beat. She released a flustered sigh as her gaze drifted to ceiling, rolling her eyes she glanced over at the freshly baked red velvet cupcakes that sat idly to her right. Waiting for a lucky customer to come in and purchase one of them to enjoy. “Are you done yet?” She twirled her head and groaned. Pinkie sighed once again; she buried her face in her hooves. Raising both forelegs she covered her ears and began to rock side to side. Over time she shook her head and began to mumble one of her songs to herself, trying to blot out this annoying voice that kept speaking to her. Describe every little action to her; the voice began to get faster and louder. Growing even more irritating with every second, driving her ever so closely to insanity until finally it drove her over the edge. “Would you just. Shut. Up!” She stared up at the ceiling her eyes narrow and her brows furrowed in anger. If this pink mare could fire lasers, already this building would be crumpling to pieces. “If I could shoot lasers, you wouldn’t be here right now!” She snapped at the ceiling, Pinkie gritted her teeth. Moments later when she realized there was nothing she could do she sat solemnly on the ground. “Pinkie, sweetie… who are you talking to?” Mrs. Cake called from the kitchen. “I’m talking to the Narrator!” She replied back as she flung her hooves up in frustration. “The Narra–what?” Mrs. Cake popped her head out from the door with a raised eyebrow. Pinkie faced Mrs. Cake. “The Narrator, he just won’t shut up!” Pinkie exclaimed. Mrs. Cake’s confusion deepened. “Pinkie… I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t hear anypony else beside me and you.” Pinkie took a deep breath and stood back up onto her hooves. “That’s just it though, no pony else can hear him except for me.” She said as she began to pace the ro– “Can you please be quiet for three seconds!” 1… 2… 3… Pinkie growled in anger as she began to pace even faster, turning back to Mrs. Cake who was now talking to Mr. Cake. Pinkie doesn’t know when Mr. Cake arrived or that if the Narrator just decided to plop him in here just so he could get along with the plot. But Pinkie just decided to go along with it. “Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said as he turned to face her. “Have you been…? I dunno, partying with the wrong crowd late–” “What? Nonononono… I would never allow such ponies to do things like that at one of my parties.” Pinkie answered not even knowing what Mr. Cake was going to even imply, Pinkie turned her attention back towards the ceiling. “What do you mean I don’t know what he was implying… of course I know what he was implying he was in implying that I took drugs…” “What!?” Mr. Cake took a sudden step back in surprise. “I wasn’t implying that you were taking drugs. I was implying that you were drinking with the colts from down the block!” Pinkie knitted her brown and looked back at the ceiling. “I swear, I’m going to explode if you don’t stop right now… I’m gonna…” “Pinkie, dear, please tell us who are you speaking to–” “The dang Narrator! He’s been driving me nuts since I started my shift, and he wouldn’t leave me alone since! He keeps explaining everything I’m doing, or going to say, even your guy’s emotions towards me!” The Cakes took a nervous step back. “Pinkie, there is no Narrator… you’re just having one of your… your…” Mr. Cake didn’t know how to put it. “Pinkie, have you been having any kind of strange feelings lately… like warmth or–” “Oh nonononono, Mr. Cake it’s nothing like that. Not like that at all, you see it’s like having a little monkey or something in the back of your head. Describing every little thing you are doing, like how much icing you’re putting on your cupcake, or how long you placed it in the oven to bake!” Pinkie explained at the speed of light. Mr. and Mrs. Cake shared a worried look with each other. “Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake began. “Could you excuse us for just a minute?” She asked. Pinkie nodded her head. Knowing that even if she left the room these two wouldn’t be in complete privacy, especially earlier this morning when both of them were upstairs in the bedroom… Pinkie shuddered at the thought of having to go through that part of the morning, knowing that every last second of that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Pinkie got up and went into the kitchen. “This girl really needs help.” Mrs. Cake said right as she thought Pinkie was out of ear shot. “Every day this mare keeps getting weirder and weirder, one moment she’s freaking out because her friends supposedly forgot about her birth day. Now she claims to be hearing a voice in her head!” “I thought she was always able to hear voices in her head.” Mr. Cake snorted. “I’m being serious, Carrot, this girl needs help. Ever since the day we hired her she’s only been strange… Dear Celestia, I’m surprised she was even able to take care of the kids… let alone not completely destroy the shop.” “Well we could always let her go…” Mr. Cake suggested. “We can’t just kick her out onto the street, what’s she going to do then.” Mrs. Cake said as she looked her husband in the eye. “I don’t know scream about the voices in her head while she walks down the block… maybe go completely insane or something… maybe even start her own bakery… I dunno.” Pinkie sat up against the door, her eyes filled with sadness and her mane completely deflated. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, let alone be surprised on how she was hearing this. During the time of waiting she found herself in the basement, yet she could still hear the Cake’s voices moving from the upstairs and down into her ears. Even now she could still hear that voice coming from the narrator, that deep and wanting to be calm soothing voice yet to her it was annoying, ignorant, and cynical. It taunted her; it described her situation as if everything was calm. Yet it wasn’t! It was driving her completely bonkers, she wanted to leave and runaway. Pinkie fell to her knees and curled up into a ball in the corner of the pitch black basement. Rubbing her eyes she felt tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Stifling back a hiccup she buried deep within herself trying her hardest to keep the taunting voice of the Narrator from hurting her anymore. {My Bedroom} Pushing my chair away from the computer I glared at my screen with a raised eyebrow and a bud light in my right hand. Taking a sip I glanced at my can then back at the screen, swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat I spoke. “Well now I just feel bad…”
