Writer's Block

“Well howdy, James!” Applejack called from a distance. James turned around at the sound of her voice, confirming it was the apple-farming mare before returning with a wave. She looked just as cheerful as every morning, maybe even a little more so today he noticed. She wore her trademarked friendly smile, and had a slight spring in her step as she trotted towards him. When she was but a few pony-lengths away, she stopped and spoke again, "How are you doing this fine mornin’?"

"Uh, good,” James mumbled, his mind shifting from the more serious thoughts of yesterday’s. “I'm doing good. Yourself?"

"Ripe as an apple. What are ya doing today?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing really I guess.”

Applejack looked down from his face to the carrots held in his hand, one of them half eaten. “Breakfast on the go, I see.”

“Uh, yeah.” James said with a forced laugh. “Just… eating carrots for breakfast. They’re, uh… good sometimes out in the sun. At least, I think they taste better… outside.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow as she gave him a once-over. “Yeah… I guess so.”

Okay, now I’m just being awkward… James thought. “So, what are you doing? Buying stuff?” he quickly said while pointing to the saddlebags on the pony.

Applejack flashed her smile again as she motioned her head towards the bags. “Ah was just finishing buyin' a few things fer Granny Smith. She's got a special dinner in mind ta’night and asked me and Apple Bloom tah pick up some stuff around town."

"Cool, what’s she making?"

"Not sure yet, she said she wanted it to be a surprise. Ah’m guessing it’s one of her famous soups, but Ah can’t figure which one though. She has a couple stashed away in tha family recipe book that even I haven’t seen yet."

"Hmmm".

Applejack turned back to James and opened her mouth to ask a question, but paused when she saw him starring of absently. She waited for some moments before asking, “You okay there, fella’?”

“Sorry, what?” James replied.

“Ah said, are you okay?”

James paused before flashing her a smile. “Yeah, everything’s good.”

“For some reason I doubt that,” she commented as her brow narrowed slightly.

“W-why do you say that?”

“Call it… a mare’s intuition.”

“Well now that I think about it,” he muttered while racking his mind for a reply. “I do have a list of chores to do today at my house. Not really looking forward to them.” He gave a small chuckle. “So yeah, you can say today is going to suck.” Turning away from her, James held his smile as he began move away. “I’m’a head home now to take care of stuff. See you around later!”

“Hold it,” Applejack said, stopping him in his tracks.

As nonchalantly as he could, James slipped his hands into his pockets and twisted half of his body to her. His face held a blank curious look, but a tightening sensation was beginning to work at his stomach. His efforts in acting normal as possible caused him to forget that he was still holding onto his carrots, which presently left their leafy tops sprouting from his pockets.

Applejack regard green leaves sticking out of his pockets before shaking her head and giving him a firm look. “You may have a list of chores tah do, but the first one on it is helping me. So come along now and keep up.”

“What?”

“How many times are you going to make me repeat mahself this morning? Ah said you're helping me.”

“With what?”

Applejack shook her saddlebag side to side. “With mah list of course.”

“Applejack, I really-“

“Nope! No but’s or sorry’s, you’re coming,” Applejack interrupted as she walked past him.

“But-“

“What did Ah just say? And Ah’m done repeatin’ mahself. If you keep saying no then Ah’ll be forced to get mah rope and drag you around town mahself. We don’t want a repeat of me tying you up again, now do we?”

The memory of his first day in Equestria flashed across his mind. The bizarreness of it all, the notion that he had somehow gone insane, and when Applejack had wrangled him with her rope. It was the only way they were able hold him down long enough to calm down after he gave them a run for their bits across Ponyville.

With no desire to relive that experience that would prove equally embarrassing as it was originally terrifying, James quickly moved in step next to Applejack. “Yes, ma’am.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Let’s see,” Applejack said while looking over the paper. “Carrots, potatoes, spices, celery, peppers, Mr. Hugh Jelly’s Woo-Tang jam, and…” Applejack squinted over the rest of the items on the list. “Ah think that’s everything.”

“You sure you can carry all that?” James asked.

Applejack gave a frown while she replied. “Of course Ah can! What do you take me fer?”

James raised his hands defensively. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant did you want some help? You know, like you asked me to?”

“No, Ah got it. And don’t worry, you’ll be helping soon. Besides, looks like you got your own thing to carry,” Applejack replied with a knowing grin.

Before James could ask what she meant by it, a sudden weight came crashing down onto his shoulders, sending him stumbling forward. The soft shape that had just collided with his back side clung tightly as he wobbled to regain his balance, all while being careful not to drop the unexpected load. It was shortly accompanied by a filly’s voice crying, “gotcha!”

“Whoa there! Apple Bloom, did you get heavier since the last time you jumped on my back? You’re harder to carry than a basket of apples,” James said without turning his head, already fully aware of who had jumped him. There was only one pony in Ponyville that was daring enough to surprise tackle him and not be able to knock him over.

“Hey! Ah’m not fat!” Apple Bloom retorted. She leaning forward and over his shoulders in an attempt to grimace directly at his face. Their interaction was noticed by ponies nearby almost immediately. Then again, it was hard not to notice a small filly riding the shoulders of the tallest creature in the marketplace. If they gave him room before, they were certainly keeping a respectful distance with Apple Bloom now on top. The residents of Ponyville could only imagine the dangers the two of them could create together, some first hand from the games the filly and human learned to play when around a potential obstacle course.

James let out a laugh at Apple Bloom’s scrunched up face. “Of course you’re not fat. With all the running around you do, you probably do more exercise in an hour than a classroom of kids do in a day where I’m from. No, what I meant was, you must be growing.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, her hard lines instantly vanishing. “Really? Ya think Ah’m getting bigger? Ah wonder how big Ah am compared to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle? WAIT THAT’S IT!” she suddenly shouted while rapidly waving a hoof in the air. “Why didn’t Ah think of this before? Cutie Mark Crusader Body Measurers!”

James let out another laugh as he reached hand behind him to tousle her mane. If there was one thing he had been good at in Ponyville, it was entertaining the infamous three fillies that lived here. Most of the other mares and stallions hadn’t trusted him to let their children hang around him, even with him assuring he had worked at a daycare for a few years prior to his arrival. It was only due to the fact that Applejack and Rarity had spent so much time around him that they decided it would be safe enough for him to interact with their sisters. And the fact the three girls were simply too curious to stay away from him even if they were forbidden to didn’t hurt either. James never did hear how Scootaloo managed to convince her parents, but given who she and her friends were, it didn’t seem hard for them to convince anypony of something they wanted to do.

It was due to their constant interactions that James had come to learn how to read them like a book. He knew most of the time exactly what to say in a playful way to confuse or spark them off that would turn into an idea for them to get their cutie marks. Some days their never ending search for their marks were annoying, but those kind of days were few and far between. They’re excitable and adventurous nature was simply to heartwarming to bother him as much as it should.

“I’m sure you girls will be the best measurers in town. I’m sure everypony would love to know about their BMI.”

“BMI?” Apple Bloom asked. “What’s that?”

“Oh shi- I mean shoot,” he caught himself. “Trying to remember. I think it’s… body mass index? That may be right, but it’s supposed to tell how overweight you are in proportion, I think.”

“Ah get it,” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Ah can’t wait to tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo! I bet Sweetie Belle can ask Rarity for her measuring tapes! Why, we could tell everypony their sizes for everythin’!”

“Not today little sis,” Applejack chipped in. “We just finished picking up Granny Smith’s ingredients, and there’s a lot of work tah do on the farm today. We’d best be getting home now and start workin’. Speaking of which, do you got yours?”

“Of course Ah do, Ah set em down just over there so Ah could sneak up and jump James.”

“I better let you down then,” James said. “Let me know if you girls get your cutie marks from the body measuring thing. I'm sure your sister wants you and her to be back home as soon as you can to get all that stuff to Granny,” James said.

Apple Bloom’s face immediately shifted to a pout. “Awwwww... but getting piggyback rides from you is one of my favorite things.”

“Then stay up there on the way back home,” Applejack said with a sly grin. “Because he’s helping us today.”

Apple Bloom shouted a ‘yay’ the same time James exclaimed a ‘what?’

He was about to protest before Applejack cut him off. “Do Ah need to repeat mah’self again? You’re working fer me today. Now go pick up those bags, and let’s get going.”

He was about to argue against it, but the combination of Applejack’s dead set attitude and a filly smiling expectantly from his shoulder defeated anything he could come up with. Resigning to his fate, he simply replied, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” Applejack said while sprouting a smug grin as she began to walk through the busy street. Apple Bloom giggled as she bounced up and down as James walked over to her bags and fell behind Applejack. Though he never voiced it, James couldn’t help but inwardly smile at the ironic situation of an equine riding on top of him.

“Your first chore is to help me and Big Mac buck some apples today,” Applejack added once he had caught up.

“You’re lucky I’m tall enough to reach the apples, an exploit I notice you’ve taken advantage of often.”

“Well, most other ponies aren’t strong enough to buck ‘em down, so you’re the next best thing.”

James gave a grunt..

Applejack gave him another look before turning back to the road. It was only a few steps later that she spoke up, “Besides, it’ll do you good. You haven’t helped on the farm for a little while and you could use the exercise.”

“Are you calling me fat now?”

“Don’t worry, you still look in good shape. Or at least I think you do. You’re the first human I met so I can’t really say. Speaking of being in shape, there’s Rainbow!” Applejack said, looking up.

James and Apple Bloom instinctively lifted their heads to follow her gaze. Above the town a low-flying, rainbow-colored blur was making its way across the sky. James’s chest tightened somewhat at seeing the pegasus. He had no idea what to say or do if she decided to come to them.

“HEY, RAINBOW DASH!” Applejack shouted much to James’s horror.

However, his worries were quickly alleviated when Rainbow Dash continued to fly past them and beyond the roof tops of the nearby houses.

“Wonder what’s got her feathers in a bunch, Ah know she heard me,” Applejack said with grunt.

James’s eyes remained fixed on the spot she had vanished behind.

“Well, must be important for her to ignore us like that. Come on, let’s get going.” Applejack turned away and resumed making her way out of the bustling market.

James still did not move until a soft tap on his shoulder grabbed his attention. “Come on! We’re gonna lose Applejack!”

A smile quickly found its way onto James’s face as he turned to look back at her. “Not with you being lookout. Spot for me and guide us forward!”

Apple Bloom replied with a grin of her own before heroically leaning forward with a hoof above her brow. “There she be! West! Ah mean… East! Ah think… whatever, just go that’a way!”

“Aye aye!” James replied.

It was one of the Cutie Mark Crusader’s favorite games with the human: ‘Captain of the Legs’. One filly would ride on his shoulders and cover his eyes with their hooves while shouting out directions and when to turn. It was a familiar sight to the ponies nearby, and it was the reason for the sudden increase in distance between them and the potentially dangerous duo; especially with swinging saddle bags full of groceries. Apple Bloom was at least generous enough to wait until they were away from the busy marketplace and out on the road back to the farm before covering his eyes.

Before they knew it, they were at the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom had stopped playing ‘Captain of the Legs’ sometime ago and was now occupied on swatting the leaves and branches of the trees they passed underneath with her hoof, a feat that was only possible when she was piggyback riding James.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Applejack spoke. “We’re gonna drop off these here ingredients for Granny Smith to start cooking with. Apple Bloom, you get to help Granny while tidying up the house. It’s about time it got some dusting done. James and Ah will go out into the west orchard to help out Bic Mac as we move towards the south field.”

“Sounds good to me,” Apple Bloom said.

The three of them headed towards the farm house. Along the way James took in the sight of the place, something that was always hard not to admire for its beauty. It was a perfect little farm, one you would only see in a painting or a cartoon. A big red barn, a grain silo, and endless hills of apple trees. The sheer amount they owned still amazed him and made him question how on earth —or Equestria, a phrase he still had trouble adapting to— they managed to collect them all. He had seen it before, and even helped out now and then. But it always seemed impossible whenever he stood near the house and looked out onto the never ending tree farm.

“Granny, we’re home! And we brought a guest for dinner,” Applejack called out as they walked onto the front porch.

“Hi, Granny!” James called as they walked in through the front door.

“Is that you, James? Oh my, what a delight! Ah bet ya heard Ah was making something special tonight and wanted a taste of it yerself didn’tcha?” Granny Smith said with a mischievous grin.

“You bet!” James smiled warmly.

Her face turned into a warm glow as she spoke, “Well yer welcome to enjoy every bite of it, sonny. I got lunch all made fer everypony as well. And my special dinner will be done and ready when you all come back from the fields. Fresh and piping hot from the oven.”

“Can’t wait, Granny,” Applejack said while unloading her bags.

“You made sure you got everything dear?” Granny Smith asked as she poked her head into one of the bags.

“Yup, got everything from avocados to Mr. Hugh Jelly’s Woo-Tang jam, freshly made.”

“Fantastic, I’ll start getting on that dinner.”

“Ah’ma help cook too!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. She patted James’s shoulder, signaling she wanted down. He knelt down low enough for the filly to hop off with no problems, setting aside his bags as well. Apple Bloom ran over to Granny Smith and starting pulling things out of the bag she had inspected earlier.

“Well now Apple Bloom, are you sure you want to know this secret recipe?” Granny Smith asked.

“Of course! It’s an Apple family recipe, right?”

“Sure is, but Ah wonder if you're old enough to know it,” she said with feigned concern.

“Ah’m old enough!” Apple Bloom said with resolve.

She stared in determination at Granny Smith until the older mare finally let out a chuckle and patted the filly on the head. “Well Ah say it’s about time you learn it. After all, every Apple needs to know how to make freshly served Jim Jam Apple Croissant Surprise. It’ll knock the socks off your hooves if you’re wearing any!”

Apple Bloom let out a gasp of delight. She had only heard them talk about it before, and now finally had a chance at not only eating it but making it as well.

Applejack moved towards the door with a knowing grin. “I had a feeling it was that one. That, or the Criss Cross Apple Tart Jelly Snacks.”

“Don’t worry,” Granny Smith called after her. “I’m making that next week!”

“Come on, James!” Applejack shouted as she left the building.

“That’s my cue,” he replied to the two ponies in the kitchen. “I can’t wait to taste it, and thanks again for having me, Granny.”

“Don’t mention it dearie, you just run along now and build up an appetite,” Granny Smith replied.

James gave a wave and smile as he headed out the door to catch up with Applejack. After a short jog he had caught up to the farm pony walking to the orchards.

“So…” he spoke. “Can she really make all that stuff into something edible? And a croissant for that matter?”

Applejack gave a laugh. “You bet! That mare can whip up anything into anything, as long as it got some apples in it.”

“You guys really stick to the theme don’t ya?”

“Stick to what you know.”

“Hmm,” he hummed.

“And yours happens to be being tall enough to pluck apples.”

“Oh joy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here’s the last one,” James said before heaving the full basket onto the wagon. “Whew!” he exhaled while settling against the wagon upright.

Applejack shifted the basket closer to the rest, wiping a bead of sweat off her brow. “Welp, that’s that. Thanks fer the help again.”

“No problem.”

Applejack moved towards the tail gate and sat down besides James who remained leaning against it. They said nothing at first from the mild exhaustion of the day’s work, but mostly because they were both caught up in the view of the orchard. It was a sight Applejack had seen just about every day of her life but it somehow never failed to awe. For James, it was something you would only see in a painting, and possibly one that one would rarely see in real life in most places of the world. What held their gazes so easily, was the simple sight of a perfect sunset.

The sun itself was now past the trees and the distant mountains, leaving only its fiery trails to light up the land as it dimmed. Everything was basked in an orange and yellow hue that softly accented the already bright colors of Equestria. The apples themselves held a soft glow as they shined in the setting light, and the trees cast long shadows. The sky above was a mixture of dark and light, and everything in between. Bright orange clouds faded to a red, then a deep purple as the skyline began to mix with the night.

It was moments like these that James felt a longing to stay in Equestria forever. Earth simply did not have beautiful sunsets like this every evening. In fact, this place was paradise in most terms. Something that could become boring over time, if it were not for the ponies that inhabited this wonderful land with happiness. And the occasional disaster helped liven things up.
James was completely content to stare out at the sunset after working spending half the day working on the field. Funny how some hard work seems to put you at ease.

“So…” Applejack spoke suddenly, breaking the silence and grabbing James’s attention. “What’s wrong with ya?”

He turned towards her to read her face as to why she might be asking, but she held a flat poker façade as she continue to stare on into the sunset.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what Ah mean,” she said. “You haven’t been acting yourself all day. You didn’t even greet other ponies in the marketplace.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“That’s not how you normally act. You’ve made it a point to adjust to being here since the beginning. Something’s bothering ya, and you’re not letting it out. So spill it.”

“Nothing’s bothering me, I promise I’m-“

Applejack whipped her head and fixed James with a piercing stare, causing him to flinch. Her brows were furrowed and she looked to be somewhere between upset and disapproving as she gave him a scowl. “What did Ah say about repeating mah’self? You got something on your chest and you’re not budging even a little to get it off. I know it’s hard.” Celestia knows Ah do, she thought. “But you can’t keep it to yourself like that.”

James stared blankly at Applejack who somehow was hitting the nail on the head. He knew he was off, and he knew exactly why. The problem was that he was unwilling to admit it to her, or anyone for the matter.

“H-how would you even know? What makes you so good at reading other people?”

“Ponies,” she corrected.

“People, ponies, semantics. Even if I did have something on my chest, how would you know?” James said with a raised eyebrow and shifting himself against the wagon.

“Have you met my brother?” asked Applejack sarcastically. “He’s one of the most silent and hardest types of ponies one could ever read. And in some ways, you’re no different.”

“Whelp, glad to have help out, but I think I’m going to go now,” he said quickly.

“Like Tartarus you are!” Applejack said as she jumped off the tailgate. She immediately trotted in front of James and barred his path; her legs spread defensively coupled with a stern look letting him know she was keen on not letting him pass.

“Come on, Applejack, just let me by,” he sighed.

“No, you’re running away from it and trying to distract yourself like ya always do.”

“What are you talking about?” he said while trying to sidestep her, but she reactively shifted, still intent on staying in front of him. When it was clear after a few more attempts that she wasn’t going to let him walk by, the thought of awkwardly stepping over her crossed his mind.

“Ah’m talking about how yer avoiding whatever is bothering ya. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you it’s that you always find distractions when something is bothering you.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” he snapped lightly, crossing his arms and staring back at her, his own brow furrowed from his growing agitation.

“That’s fine and dandy sometimes, but not all the time. You push it aside until it becomes forgotten and try to move on like it never happened.”

Anything he would retort with he knew she would dish right back at him. While that was fine when he got in heated discussions—which were few and far between with her—he wasn’t about to deal with the accusations she was making.

Ever since arriving in Equestria, James had gotten used to attention he never had back home, attention that was some in some ways annoying, but nice at the same time. It was the kind of thing only a stranger who had gone a life of being normal suddenly being shoved into the focus of everyone and everything; unusual, awkward, but appreciated nonetheless. Everyone had a story, and most people wouldn’t mind theirs being put in the forefront for a change instead of being a background character.

Having those around you genuinely involved in your life and interacting with you in a meaningful way, and the sense of community and family was one of the reasons Ponyville was such an attractive place to live in. They legitimately cared for one another, and without tons of bullshit to get there. It was something he had definitely gotten used to and felt grateful for. And thus far being the only human in the world, it was the kind of attention he has come to accept and even looked forward to.

However, the spectrum didn’t simply end there, as the close and supportive lifestyle in Ponyville also mean that there would be those that cared enough to pry into deeper problems, just like Applejack was doing now.

Twilight may have figured out the cause of his grief last night, but she had not pressed further. Instead, they were able to treat it as an object of discussion that stemmed more discussions, keeping it mainly as an abstract subject which for him was more bearable.

But he had a nagging feeling that that would not be the case with Applejack.

He didn’t see the point of getting upset or bothered by it. He figured out why it happened, learned a little more about pony behavior, and it was already done. Nothing else to talk about. So why is it bothering me so much to have Applejack bring it up?

“Look, Applejack, I’m fine. Really! Just… let me go home. Tell Granny Smith I’m sorry I can’t stay for her dinner tonight.”

Applejack stomped her hoof on the ground. “You’re not leaving this farm until I get whatever is inside you out. And you know I can chase you down no problem.”

“What if I climb a tree?” James.

Applejack lowered her head and spoke coldly. “Then Ah’ll buck you down.”

“Well then I’ll just have to hold on-”

“Dangnabbit, James, you’re doing it again!”

James was quiet for a moment before snapping back, “Doing what!?”

“Distracting yourself, again! You’re avoiding the point whether you know it or not! You always find a way to wiggle your way out of something you don’t like and move forward like it was nothing. You bury it deep down where it wont affect ya. Well I’m not letting you slide, not this time. Answer me truthfully, what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing is bothering me.”

“Yes! Something is!”

“Just… leave it Applejack, there’s nothing wrong,” James said as he moved the opposite direction.

Applejack grimaced and quickly ran past him and threw herself up in front again. “Ah told you, you’re not leaving ‘till I get an answer from you.”

“So what? You’re going to hold me hostage?”

“Yes, Ah mean, no. Ah mean…” Applejack murmured. “Ah just want you to be honest! With me, and with yourself.”

“I get that is your thing, but just cut it out for now Applejack,” James said. “Look, I’m tired from working all day, I didn’t sleep well last night, and I want to head home. Good night.”

This time when James moved away, Applejack didn’t chase him. She watched begin to walk up the path that would lead out of the orchards and out to the main road, all while she dug her hooves into the earth.

She didn’t let him get more than twenty feet before trying one last time.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF AGAIN!?” Applejack screamed. James visibly flinched at the shout, and slowly turned around to face her with a look of shock.

“I don’t-” James tried to say before being interrupted.

“Ah saw you,” Applejack said harshly. “Ah saw you that day when you broke down. Ah didn’t bother you then because Ah didn’t know you too well… but Ah was with you the whole time.”

With no clue to what she was talking about, James searched his memories on what she might be referring to. Applejack waited patiently for him to remember, her face not giving an inch in her sternness. The hell is she talking about?

Though night was approaching, he was still able to see her gaze, and how her eyes slowly shifted down into the orchards. James followed her hers, and recalled all he had done in that section of the fields. Memories of working along side the Apple family, playing with Apple Bloom and Winona, and taking an afternoon nap filled his mind. But Applejack had been either in or nearby each of those memories, remaining vigilant on her task to keep an eye on him during his early days in Ponyville. However, there was one instance where he had been down there, and he had thought he had been alone.

James turn back to Applejack, and the look in her eyes sent a dreaded confirmation. “You… you don’t mean when I was out in the orchard by myself?”

“The third week you were here since you arrived? Yeah, Ah’m talking about that.”

James felt as if his chest had tightened by string then promptly dropped.

“You let it all out, everything ya had in ya,” Applejack began. “You were down by those very trees just over yonder. Ah was coming by on a walk, enjoying the noon sun and inspecting tha apples, when Ah heard you crying. Ah didn’t know who it was at first or why they were crying on my farm, so Ah figured Ah would sneak a peek first before barging in. Ah figured it would have been any other pony, you’d be surprised how many come out here onto the farm for privacy of all sorts. But Ah didn’t reckon it’d be you there, under one of mah trees.”

Applejack’s stern face fell away as she continued to speak, her voice growing softer. “You were bawling harder than Ah had seen most stallions do in my life. You even gave Big Mac a run for his money on a time Ah remember that was especially hard for him. You looked like you were fighting Discord himself the way you were shaking and gripping your clothes. Naturally Ah was confused considering Ah had saw you only that morning fine as a rooster at the crack of dawn. You had no cares in the world and everything seemed mighty fine fer you. Heck, you made amazing strides in trying to fit in and being friendly to everypony to the point you made even Pinkie Pie proud. Ah figured you were alright in most senses of the word. But it wasn’t till then that Ah realized it was all just a facade, something to hold over all the pain and sadness that was tormenting you and eating ya alive from the inside. That you’d been pushing it all aside all along.

“Ah figured at the time… you had finally broken down on what had happened to you. That the fact you were really… stuck in Equestria was real. You wouldn’t be able to see your ma, your pa, the rest of your family, or your friends. Ah didn’t know who was who, but Ah heard the names between your breaths as you let it all out. You looked like a pony who had just lost everything in the world. And you were trying to hold it all to yerself.”

James had stopped looking at Applejack for awhile now, his gaze instead downwards and sideways on a random piece of dirt. Applejack had dropped a bombshell on him, one that held him firmly and place, and one he had hoped no one would know.

Remembering how he felt then, coupled with the fact that such a vulnerable moment for him had been revealed was nearly enough for his legs to buckle then. Like a sense of vertigo, the ground felt oddly misplaced as if his legs were actually above him, and he himself was standing sideways.

“It was after that when Ah started to pay more attention to you,” Applejack continued. “When we first met Ah didn’t exactly sit right with ya. You were something we’ve never seen before, and tah be honest, Ah was worried about having you around sometimes. But after seeing you pour your heart out at the base of these here apple trees, I realized you weren’t some creature that was going to do something bad. You were actually just a lost stranger who was whisked away from home and everthin’ you knew and loved, only to be stuck here. You were alone, distraught, and you were scared, no matter how brave of a face you put on.”

Applejack began stepping forward. “Ah know we try our best to help you feel welcomed here since you came, but we can’t help with everythin’. Not if you don’t let us.” She walked right up to him, and stopped only a few feet away, her eyes looking up as she searched his face. “And Ah know you’ve had more than one breakdown.”

“What do you mean?” James immediately said, more defensively and less calm than he had intended. He ran through his mind on where else he might have slipped up.

“Ah know you’ve gone off by yourself whenever you can’t handle it. You show the same signs each time, and you look bright as day the next morn. They may be subtle, but they're there.”

James mentally relaxed somewhat, relieved that one of the other girls hadn’t witnessed his personal moments either. It had been difficulty bouncing from bed to bed, house to house, as it was unfair for any one of them to be solely responsible each and every day. In addition, until he had received a home for himself, it had been an eye opening experience to live the life of each of the girls as he adapted.

“James… Ah can’t understand your pain, not entirely.” Applejack’s eyes grew forlorn and her eyes began to water up. “Ah wouldn’t know what ta do with myself if Ah lost my family or the girls, Ah can’t even imagine it. Ah certainly couldn’t have been dealing with it as well as you have day by day. Being patient and learning about us and our home, all while worrying about going back to yours. But Ah know you can’t deal with it all on your own. You don’t have to keep it by yourself, were here to help you. We’re your friends.”

“And why are you my friends!?” James snapped, unable to keep his calm exterior up any longer. Applejack had been hitting the right buttons relentlessly, bringing back the months of despair in cold fact that he may never get home again, and it was causing cracks in the proverbial dam that was his inner wall. “Because you’re a pony and that’s what ponies do? Make friends with everything and everyone because why the fuck not!?”

“No, that’s not it!

“Then why!?” he shouted louder.

“Because you deserve it!”

“WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL!?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH BEING FRIENDS WITH!”

A hush fell over the orchard as both stared at each other. James looked downward to Applejack angrily, then eased some of his features, and finally changed into a passive look. “Why?” he asked quietly.

“You’re a good human. Ah’ve seen who you are. You’re nice and kind, and you’re amazing with my sister and her friends. James, you don’t realize how much Ah trust you to let you be with them by yourselves. You’ve done good around here, and you’ve shown heart and effort. A lot of ponies didn’t like the idea of you being around here, but you kept showing that smile of yours and pushed on, you pushed aside things that are supposed to be pushed aside. And you’ve become a good friend to us, and friends take care of each other. So please, let me help you.”

James averted his eyes again, settling on a patch of dirt again. He couldn’t look her in the face, to see her furrowed brow of concern, her held back lip, or her eyes that had seemingly seen right through him into places that he had done so well to keep away from others and himself. He had little doubt that if this kept up, she could pry apart the rest of him with ease. “Applejack… please don’t take this the wrong way. I am thankful for what you’ve all done for me, but I… I just want to be alone right now,” he said wearily.

He began to turn around before her hoof stomped the ground again. He was ready for another lecture to come his way, but instead of a harsh and disapproving tone, she spoke with a gentle voice. “Please, just talk to me. You might be surprised how much it can help.”

It was a strange thing to feel a wall most of your life, feeling isolated yet protected from never bringing your worries to another. In some ways it was viewed as a source of strength, a trait some had that let them face even the most troubling of times. It was easier to flash a smile to another, than to bear the shame of burrowing your head into there chest. But when a crack appears, as exciting and tempting as the other sounds, it is just as much if not even more terrifying to actually pursue.

Lifting his head, he stared into Applejack’s eyes. They were warm, kind, and meant every word of what she had said. It was like a rope he could grasp to let him take a step outside of the place he had made for only himself.

With a sigh, he plopped onto the ground, and placed his hands over his head while balancing his elbows on his propped knees. Applejack smile, then sat in front of him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

The two of them sat in the grass as the sun was finishing its descent over the mountains. One minute passed, and a few stars began to shimmer in the night sky. Then two minutes passed, with the stars coming out in more numbers. Then the third minute passed, and Applejack spoke, “Well, feel free to tell me any time now.”

James met her gaze briefly before looking back between his feet. He was still hesitant on the whole situation as his eyes darted back and forth between his feet as he figured out what to say. But Applejack had given him the chance to open up, something he never felt able to do around others. And while the thought still terrified him in a way that did not make sense, he was set on taking this chance, if not because that there was some inkling in him that said it was right, it was because of Applejacks good nature and his trust in her that it would be okay with her.

It was however, pure embarrassment that was preventing him from taking it further. Twilight had at least done all the work in figuring it out, only leaving James to pull back the situation as quickly as he could. But to actually admit the cause of his confusion and bad mood willingly and out loud was proving to be harder for him than he thought.

“Well… I…”

“Yes?

“You see… yesterday…”

“Hmhmm.”

“And well… I sort of…”

Applejack sighed. “James, Ah understand if you need a bit of time on trying to tell me… whatever you're trying to tell me. But you can do it. Just let it out.”

“I sort of… had sex with Rainbow Dash…”

“What was that?”

“I… had sex with Rainbow Dash”

“James, please don’t act like Fluttershy. Just say it.”

Risking it all, he finally said it, albeit louder than he thought he would. “I HAD SEX WITH RAINBOW DASH! OKAY?”

Applejack went slack jawed. James avoided looking at her by leaning back and propping his arms behind him and staring up into the night sky. She didn’t know what had been troubling the human, but that was certainly not what she expected.

“You… and Rainbow…?” she asked tentatively.

“…Yeah.”

“Wow… um, okay. So Ah guess that cloud chaser went ahead then and explained everythin’?”

“Not exactly… Twilight actually explained it all to me.”

“Hold on, Twilight was there too?”

“No! That was later that night!”

“So you had done it with both of them on the same day?”

“NO! Just Rainbow Dash!” James shouted, his face becoming flustered even further.

“Okay… so what’s eating ya sugarcane?”

James stared at Applejack blankly for a few moments. “What’s wrong? Well maybe it’s because I had sex with Rainbow Dash! Just up and out of nowhere!”

“Is this one of those human things? Like how you wear clothes all the time? Because if having sex is not normal back on ‘Earth’ then Ah-“

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

James exhaled as he fell backwards and laid on the grass while watching the stars twinkling above. The thought of how they were more noticeable than back home briefly crossed his mind. After a few moments of staring out into the night he spoke. “I don’t know, isn’t that what you’re supposed to tell me? I thought you were so good at figuring out guys.”

“Ah can’t do it all by mah’self.” He heard Applejack stand up on her hooves, followed by the soft swish of grass as she made her way to him. A sudden plop to his left let him know that she taken fallen onto her her back as well, and stared out into the sky with him. “But Ah do know that’s still not it. You are a human so Ah could be wrong, but Ah’m pretty sure you’re worked up by somethin’ other than just doing it with Rainbow.”

The two of them continued to stare up as James thought about what she said. Applejack all the while remained quiet and patient, waiting for him to figure it out.

Why am I bothered? It’s obvious isn't it? I had sex with a pony. That isn’t normal. Beastiality isn’t normal. Well… is it beastiality? James stared thoughtfully at a particularly bright star that was shimmering more than the others. No… I don’t suppose I could call it that. They’re not animals. It’s more like doing it with an alien. A brightly-colored horse like alien.

James sighed. “I don’t know. I have no idea what to say.”

“Don’t think about it. Just let it out. How do you feel?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“An unanswered one. How do you feel?”

“Frustrated? I think…”

“And?”

“Just… I just feel like there’s a pit in my chest, and it’s not going away.”

“Keep going.”

“I don’t know… I just...” he mumbled. After watching a few stars twinkle in and out, he sighed and tried again to put the words together. “I had sex with a pony, isn’t that reason enough? No offense.”

“None taken, but no, that’s not enough. Do ya honestly feel being close like that to a pony is the problem?”

“Besides the fact I would probably be shunned by most of my species? Maybe.”

“That would really happen?” Applejack asked sternly. With the sound of rustling grass, James felt Applejack’s eyes burrowing into the side of him.

“Yeah, probably.”

Applejack grunted. “Well that’s just shallow and low. You saying that you humans think you're too good to be with other species?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” James said with a sigh. Twilight understood this much more easily. “Applejack, you know where I’m from were the only intelligent species, and you know that ponies resemble some of our animals.”

“Yeah, but were not animals,” Applejack said defensively. “If you're judging off what you said, then ponies meet yer standards.” She then extended a hoof into the air. “We can think, feel, and dream. We had hopes, joys, sorrows, and pain. We have a mind and a heart. And by we Ah mean you and Ah, everypony in Equestria, and every human back on Earth. Inside, were the same, through and through. Can you honestly believe it’s wrong to want to connect to another who are the same where it matters?”

James turned his head towards Applejack, and saw something more beautiful than the stars. Where he had expected a scowl, she instead wore the warmest of smiles he had ever seen. Her eyes were emerald eyes were alight with starlight, causing them to shine more than any gem he had seen. In the show ponies eyes were simple plain colors, but that was beyond pale in comparison to how they were in real life. Like a humans, if not more, they held intricate details that seemingly went on forever, almost as if he was staring into a nebula itself. There were so many shades of green, and they were vibrant. But beyond the color, they looked alive. She looked alive. Lying there in the grass, with the smell of the surrounding apples, Applejack looked positively alive staring up in the night sky. It was a moment that James had not seem from her before, and it held him like a charge of electricity in the air.

James swallowed a lump in his throat before asking quietly. “That sounds pretty wise of you…”

Applejack chuckled, and for some reason, it sounded even more adorable than normal. “It’s something mah parents helped me realize. They always said that all of us are able to connect in more ways than one. Were like a bunch of different trees in the same field. But no matter how different we are, were all plants, and we can share the same soil, the same water, and the same sun together.”

Applejack turned her head towards him, unaware that she was sending him sinking into the depths of her eyes like a pool. “If ya can’t tell already, mah folks were also supportive of unusual relationships. Something about them being apart of a peace movement when they were teenagers back when the Griffon and Minotaur kingdoms were starting to have more open involvement with Equestria.”

“Groovy,” James replied.

Applejack blinked and gave a small chuckle. “But that’s enough about me, were talking about you. Figured out what’s eating ya yet?”

James turned his head back to the sky, not so much out of embarrassment, but because he was finding it hard to think with Applejack staring at him so closely. Taking into consideration what she had said, and forcing himself to look at the issue as if race had nothing to do with it, or more so that they were the same species, he spent some moments mulling over his feelings.

“I guess when it comes down to it... I think that the problem is… is that I’m still alone here. I mean not a ‘sit at home by myself alone’, but ‘I’m the only one of my kind in a world of ponies that really doesn’t fully get me’ alone. Or ‘I don’t fit in’ alone works too, I think. Sorry to bring species back into the matter, but that’s how I feel. It’s not so much that you are ponies… but that I’m away from my family, my friends, everyone and everything I ever knew or cared for. All of it just gone! I-I don’t… I don’t even know what to say or do. I just act on what’s happening at the time!”

He paused before murmuring softly, “This is stupid… I don’t even know why I’m complaining about this. It’s not like I can do anything.”

“It’s not stupid, and not talking about it will do you worse. Keep going, Ah’m listening.”

“I’m just rambling, not even making sense.”

“Don’t think about what to say, just say it. Even if it doesn’t make sense.”

“I just… I thought… I thought I had finally somehow filled up this hole in me, even if it was just a little bit. That I had some kind of a real reason that made me not feel so bad being stuck here. Something that made this place worthwhile over my home. Something that felt like I could actually have a connection that made me feel I could belong here. But as great as a picture I paint about my home in sometimes, it still isn’t the best thing in the world. In fact, I think it’s also part of the problem.”

“What’ya mean sugarcane?” Applejack asked sweetly.

“Home is home but… I don’t know, it still was not exactly what I wanted. Yeah, I had friends and family, people that cared about me in some ways. But I never felt like… like… that I had much going for me with them I guess if I had to say it. I don’t even know if that’s the right way to even say what I mean.”

“Applejack, you have no idea how amazing it is here. Everyone, sorry… everypony, actually cares about one another. I mean, yes, you have your differences and conflicts, but there is an actual connection here between you all that I didn’t have back home. At least not on the level you have.”

“That can’t be true,” Applejack said. “I’m sure your family loves you with all their heart.”

“Yeah, they do,” James sighed. “But I still don’t feel like there’s a real connection there…” James let out a deep breath and exhaled before trying to figure out his words again. “I know I told you about some of the troubles my family had.”

“Like Ah told ya last time, every family has their problems. It’s being able to forgive and move on that’s important.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t say last time that they did.”

Applejack became quiet. She was sure the few times they have talked about his family that even with all the problems, everything was still alright. Just the way a family should be. But it was then she realized James just had been holding out on the more apparently deeper issues. Of course, you dummy. If it was this hard just to get him to admit this then he sure as hay never would have let on more back then.

James continued. “Remember how I said our whole family, aunts, uncles, and cousins, would always get together once a month? Well, it kinda just fell out. Everyone just… stopped coming. And the sad thing about it? I really missed it and would ask my parents why no one hung out anymore. I didn’t understand why everyone just grew so disconnected. Even my cousins who we made every kind of blanket fort imaginable with as we grew up just seemed to grow away. I know its a childish memory but… it was one of the happiest times I had with them. But then everything all just stopped. I guess I…” James stopped and gave Applejack a brief look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to let out a sob story of some poor kid that was just dealing with family issues.”

“It’s alright, you can keep going if you want,” she softly coaxed.

“No, its alright. I… I feel better now. Really, I do.”

Applejack gave him a thoughtful look before turning back to the stars herself. He hasn’t gotten all of it out, but Ah suppose Ah can’t ask for him to dig out every little thing. It’s enough for now.

“I just don’t want to make this a pathetic open session of a divorced kid,” James said. “People go through plenty of other hardships that deserve more grief. It’s not like anything terrible happened, at least not enough to make a big deal over.”

“Yer parents are divorced?”

“Yeah, but please, I don’t want to go into it tonight. I feel lame enough.”

“Whatever hurts ya is never lame or unimportant, no matter what it is,” she said firmly.

“Well, to get to the point, which I think I may have finally figured out, If I couldn’t get a connection even with my family and friends back on Earth let alone strangers, how in Equestria am I supposed to here? I don’t deserve to be here if I couldn’t even be happy at home.”

“You think this place is just going to unicorn yerself to happiness?”

“No, I don’t,” James said. “At least, I may have at first but… being here now, I know this place can’t magic-in happiness for me. From what you’ve all told me, there are plenty of hardships here alone to make this officially not the happiest place in the universe. I know I’m not going to out of a stroke of luck find whatever it is I’m looking for here, and I guess that worries me. If I can’t find it here, how am I supposed to find wherever I’m supposed to be.”

“You know…” Applejack began. “Let me tell you another thing mah pa told me when Ah was a filly. And it wasn’t just something he made up during his grass-piping days. It was the same thing told to him from his father and so on, all through the Apple family. It goes, “Happiness isn’t a place you find. Its something you make, no matter where you are.” Whether you’re here in Ponyville James, or back home, being happy is for you to decide. And Ah’m not talking about making yourself happy like Pinkie Pie does at times, Ah’m talking about setting yourself up for happiness. You just gotta open up to the ones around you that are also willing, even if it’s painful.”

James took in a breath that caused his chest to shudder more than it should have.

“And Ah hope you know that you’ve been a good friend during the time you’ve been here.”

“Yeah, so? I mean, how can anyone not be friendly here? Especially with Pinkie Pie around,” he laughed lightly, trying to shake off the mood.

“That’s true, but let me finish now,” Applejack said softly, not giving him the chance to wash over everything they just talked about. “Like Ah said, you’re a friend. And that means something around here. Whether you know it or not, you do have a connection here. You’ve made ties to this place and the ponies that live here. Hay, you even got a house. If you ask me, that’s all Ah need to know that Ah can belong somewhere. You’ve become our friend and we are open to you, we’re just waiting for you to do the same.”

“And even if we can’t find ya a way home to reconcile with yer family... Ah know we can’t replace them, but that… that doesn’t mean we can’t be your new one.”

James turned his head towards her. “Applejack…”

“Let me finish,” she said with a raised hoof. “We are here for you, through thick and thin. And Ah’m sorry if it’s still a tad sensitive but so is Rainbow. Now,, Ah don’t know exactly what passed between you two, but if she is a part of it, Ah know she’ll do right as much as she can. But again, we are here for you, just like you’ve been for us. From now on, you’re a friend who is open to us, and no matter what, as long as we keep helping each other out when we can, we're not gonna let each other deal with things by themselves. Especially with stuff like you’re going through now.”

Applejack gave him a smug look. “Face it partner, you’re stuck here for now and that means yer stuck with us too. And Ah’ll be a rotten apple in a compost pile before Ah let one of my friends suffer alone anymore like you’ve been doing.”

James blinked hard he turned back towards the sky, grunting somewhat as he rubbed an arms across his face. “Sorry, got a bit of dust in my face.”

“Heh, stallions are all the same,” she said softly while turning her eyes back to the stars as well. He may be trying not to show it, but it looks like he took it to heart. At least Ah hope so.

“Applejack…” James said.

“Yeah?”

“…Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s what friends are for.”

“I know but… as you already probably guessed, you’ve been more of a friend than most have back where I’m from.”

Applejack held off for a moment before speaking, not entirely sure she wanted to ask a certain question. But with all the cards being laid out on the table, she decided to. “Would you still want to head back home if you could?”

“…”

She heard him fidget in the grass as she assumed he was thinking it over. For some reason her eyes just remained glued to the sky, not willing to look at him to read his face.

“Honestly, I don’t know anymore.”

“James, Ah-“

“WHERE ARE YOU TWO!? DINNER’S BEEN READY SINCE SUNDOWN!” Granny Smith’s voice echoed across the orchard.

“Ah guess that’s our cue,” Applejack said quickly while lifting herself up. “You still coming to dinner?”

James gave a stretch before joining her in standing. “I think I can stay for some grub. Besides, I worked the orchards pretty hard today. The least you can pay me with is some food,” he said teasingly.

Applejack gave a small chuckle. “Well then, let’s go get your payment.”

The two of them made their way back to the farm house. Shortly, the table inside the Apple family’s house was filled with food and the joyous sound of laughter and merriment. All the while the stars twinkled overhead.