Cloven Hearts and Cloudy Hooves

by Violet CLM

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Suicide / Self Harm, Slice of Life
Length: 11881

Pluto's been kidnapped, cloud monsters are terrorizing Ponyville, and the CMC are on the case.

The day after Hearts and Hooves Day, Diamond Tiara shows up at Sweet Apple Acres looking for advice about love. However, this is quickly overshadowed as cloud monsters begin to invade Ponyville and foals start disappearing from Cheerilee's school. It's time for... Cutie Mark Crusader Official Deputy Detectives.

Written for the February Write Off, where it was the fifth-highest rated of all 240 stories including the three winners. The Write Off version was truncated to fit the length requirements of 3000-10000 words, but this is the full version, as it was intended to be read.

Published 2012-03-06 18:23:25 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-07 23:18:56 UTC

Cloven Hearts and Cloudy Hooves

Apple Bloom was most definitely not shirking her chores. She was only taking a lemonade break, that was all, even if that lemonade break had come to incorporate a sliced apple sandwich and a comic book hidden inside a back issue of Urban Farm. With her and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle having to do all of Big Macintosh’s chores for the week, and Applejack away on holiday in Manehattan with her friends, Apple Bloom had been saddled with a far larger portion of the farm’s chores than she was used to. With great responsibility, clearly, came great need of breaks.

“Ah’m sorry to do this to you, little sis,” Applejack had told her, “but we’ve been planning this vacation for months. It’s powerful unfortunate it has to happen right when Big Mac’s makin’ y’all do his chores too, but you can handle yourself, right?”

From where she sat beneath an awning of the great barn that was her home, Apple Bloom could just make out her brother Big Macintosh, sitting beneath a tree and playing with that old doll he had somehow acquired one day. He was sure to notice if she took too long away from work, but the chores were exhausting without Applejack along to help her make a game of everything. If only Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo hadn’t needed to take this day off to catch up on their homework. She sipped desolately at the last drops of her lemonade, hoping for some distraction that would allow her break to extend just a little longer.

As if on cue, there was a sudden rattling noise from behind her. Apple Bloom turned quickly around and saw none other than Diamond Tiara, looking most out of place at Sweet Apple Acres, trying and failing to open the door into the barn. Apple Bloom had never been gladder to see her hated enemy, little as that was saying.

“Oh… Apple Bloom,” said Diamond Tiara coldly. “What are you doing here?”

Apple Bloom languidly raised an eyebrow. “Ah live here, y’know. Don’t you and your pappy know it won’t be Zap Apple Jam season again for some months yet?”

“My ‘pappy’ doesn’t happen to be here,” said Diamond Tiara. “I came here quite of my own accord, although if you’re here, I think I’ll leave.” For a moment Apple Bloom thought her arch-rival looked a little uncomfortable, but she could think of no good reason to care about this fact.

“Sounds good to me,” said Apple Bloom instead. “Applejack’s gone off to the big city, an’ Big Mac an’ ah are workin’ the farm” – she studiously ignored any evidence that might suggest neither of them were in fact working the farm at that moment – “so all that’s inside is… now hang on.” She leant forward to stare Diamond Tiara right in the increasingly worried-looking eye. “You ain’t lookin’ to make fun of Granny Smith no more, are ya? Ah thought she learned you an’ Silver Spoon on that business last Family Appreciation Day!”

Diamond Tiara drew herself up to her full regal shortness. “Certainly not! I’m not here to ‘make fun’ of anypony. I needed advice, and Silver Spoon thought Granny Smith could help in her infinite age, and, ah, wisdom.”

“Advice from Granny Smith, huh?” asked Apple Bloom. “Y’all tryin’ to plant your own Zap Apple trees an’ cut out the middlemare? ‘cause ah can tell ya, that won’t work. No one but an Apple knows the land around here like we do.”

“Please. I wished to talk to your grandmother about something far weightier and more seasonal than anything you could think of! I’m talking about love, Apple Bloom.”

Apple Bloom made a face, memories of yesterday’s disastrous Hearts and Hooves Day racing through her young mind. “Love? Blech! Ah’ve had enough of that gunk to last me right up till mah wedding day, thank ya kindly.”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes “I’m soooo grateful to learn your deep, fascinating thoughts on the subject. Can I talk to your grandmother or not?”

“Fine! Go on in.”

Diamond Tiara did so, leaving Apple Bloom to stew outside with her now-empty glass of lemonade. Applejack was on holiday, her friends were doing homework, Big Mac was making them do all his chores just because they had happened to give him one little love poison, and Granny Smith was having secret conversations with her most hated nemesis. It was like all Equestria had turned against her!

Well, if the world was against her, clearly she would have to turn against the world! What was farm work, after all, but kicking the world’s trees and dragging plows through the world’s dirt and stuff like that? She would take her revenge and fulfill her responsibilities at the same time! Blazing with purpose, Apple Bloom rose up to all four legs and strode out into the fields of Sweet Apple Acres. No apple unpicked! No field unsown! No pig unfed! No sheep uncorralled! No chore undone!

The next few hours were a grand, sweaty, apple-scented testament against the idea that the work of three ponies can easily be done in less time by only one, and Apple Bloom gained a newfound appreciation of Cheerilee’s word problems on that subject. Instead, she decided after leaning exhausted against a tree that refused to give up even a fraction of its burden, her efforts were better spent on intellectual stuff, like time management and prioritizing. She’d feed the animals, and other important things like that, but some of the other work… well, that could wait until tomorrow. Big Mac’d understand. The sun was starting to set, and there was no way she could keep doing farm stuff at night when she had homework to do.

There was something funny about the sky, though, she thought. It was getting darker, but there were also some weird clouds billowing around over the Everfree Forest. Scootaloo had told her about Rainbow Dash’s weather work, so she knew the weather in that forest didn’t work like it did elsewhere, but even so, the Everfree clouds weren’t supposed to leave the forest, were they…?

Final chores forgotten, Apple Bloom stared perplexedly up at the sky. The clouds were definitely starting to seep into Ponyville, and it looked like they were getting solider, too, as if the now-setting sun had been keeping them apart. Some of them were normal white clouds, but others were more pink in color, probably reflecting the colors of the sunset. But no, there was something awfully familiar about the shape of the clouds as they began to merge together into one giant floating form. There, floating ominously above the streets of Ponyville was a giant cloud Diamond Tiara. As Apple Bloom stared in honest horror, the Diamond Tiara monster opened its cloud mouth and produced an unearthly shriek that shook the very foundations of the barn.

The shriek of the cloud monster was not made of sound alone, but transferred itself directly from the skies into Apple Bloom’s very ears and heart. It lasted only a few moments, but in that time, the young earth pony was able to tell one very specific thing. The shriek was born not of anger, but of grief.

“An’ then when ah ran back to the barn… Diamond Tiara was gone!” finished Apple Bloom, using her very spookiest narration. Much to her satisfaction, both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked thoroughly impressed. The three had shown up to class early, and Apple Bloom had taken advantage of their solitude to recount the events of the previous day.

“Wow!” said Scootaloo. “That’s amazing! I heard the scream too, but I was too busy hidi – uhhhh, too busy being awesome to see what had made it!”

“My parents soundproofed my room years ago,” said Sweetie Belle.

“So what did Granny Smith say?” asked Scootaloo. “Did she see Diamond Tiara turn into a cloud monster?!”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Nah. Granny said that Diamond Tiara had already gone by then… ah guess ah was working for some time after she showed up, after all.” She brightened up. “But that jus’ means we gotta be careful in askin’ her about last night, since we don’t have any proof that she turned into a cloud monster!”

Scootaloo scoffed. “Pff! Rainbow Dash wouldn’t need proof.”

“I want to know who Diamond Tiara’s in love with!” said Sweetie Belle. “Do you think it’s Lickety Split? I mean, she hangs out with Silver Spoon all the time, and spoons and ice cream aren’t too different, are they?”

Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue in disgust. “’Scuse me, Sweetie Belle, but ah think her turnin’ into a cloud monster’s more important than some stupid crush. We gotta ask her about this really subtle-like.”

“Shhh!” said Scootaloo, before continuing in a very audible whisper. “Here she comes now!”

Diamond Tiara, looking even less comfortable than she had the day before, walked into the classroom followed closely by Silver Spoon. “Hi Diamond Tiara!” cried Sweetie Belle excitedly, only to be favored by a dismissive glare.

“Hey, Diamond Tiara!” said Scootaloo. “How did you turn into a monster?!”

“I beg your pardon?”

Sweetie Belle bounced up and down in her chair. “Apple Bloom says that you turned into a big cloud monster last night and terrorized Ponyville, and we were wondering how you did it, so we decided to question you about it subtly!”

Apple Bloom let out an audible groan and slid down behind her desk.

Diamond Tiara refused to answer any questions, leaving Silver Spoon to inform them repeatedly that her friend was not a monster and moreover they were being very rude to say she was. Soon enough the classroom filled up, with only the hat-loving pegasus Pluto absent, and then Cheerilee’s arrival prevented all further questioning completely.

“All right,” said Scootaloo later that day, “what’s left?”

Apple Bloom consulted her untidily scrawled checklist. Twilight Sparkle, she suspected, would be proud. “Uhh… the south window needs repainting from where it got nicked last week – ah can do that one – and ah guess you two can go through those buckets there and check for bad apples.”

“Speaking of bad apples,” said Scootaloo, “can you believe Diamond Tiara?! She just flat out told us she wasn’t a cloud monster even though you totally saw her last night!”

“Well, technically it was Silver Spoon that told us that,” said Sweetie Belle, staring dolefully at the buckets of apples.

“What ah don’t get is how she could turn into a monster to begin with,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah mean, she’s an earth pony, an’ we don’t get magic like that! Are there even any unicorns in our class these days?”

“Ooh, ooh!” said Sweetie Belle, “I’m a unicorn! …but, um, I didn’t transformulate Diamond Tiara into clouds, if that’s what you mean.”

“What about that Tootsie Flute girl?” asked Scootaloo. “Lyra and Bon-Bon’s kid?”

“She did look pretty sad on Hearts and Hooves day!” said Sweetie Belle. “Maybe Diamond Tiara said something mean to her, so she turned her into a cloud monster, except now she doesn’t remember any of it!”

Apple Bloom hesitated. “I dunno… that sounds like awfully powerful magic, don’t it? And ah’m pretty sure those clouds ah saw were coming from the Everfree Forest. Ah’m thinkin’, maybe that’s where we oughta be investigatin’!”

“Umm…” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked at each other, both obviously concerned. “Um, Apple Bloom, not that that doesn’t make sense, but…”

“…but we’re not exactly supposed to go into the Everfree Forest anymore,” finished Scootaloo, looking somewhat embarrassed.

“That old place?” Apple Bloom waved a hoof dismissively. “Aw, come on girls, ah’ve been in there loads of times to visit… Zecora!” A smile spread quickly across her features. “Ah’ll ask Zecora! Twilight Sparkle’s outta town, but ah bet Zecora could tell us all about cloud monster magic!”

“What if you went and asked Zecora, and me and Sweetie Belle didn’t go, but instead… talked to Tootsie Flute?” asked Scootaloo. “That way we’re covering all the bases!”

“Nice detective lingo!” said Apple Bloom. “All right, girls… with Applejack and the rest in Manehattan, it’s up to us to protect Ponyville from mystical invasion!”

Three hooves clapped together in a salute, followed by a pause as the three fillies looked around them. “But, uh… ah guess first we need to finish the last of these chores.”

The path to Zecora’s hut was by this time well-worn by Apple Bloom’s hoofprints, and she walked through the forest as confidently as ever. The trees loomed dark above her, the grass and twigs of the forest floor cracked beneath her feet, and enormous vines hanging from above sought to ensnare her, but Apple Bloom ignored them all. The true source of danger in the Everfree was from the bizarre creatures living within its depths, and if she was just extremely quiet, she’d be able to hear them coming. Despite her confidence, then, her ears remained wide open, hunting for the smallest noise out of place to suggest an incoming attacker.

Several minutes walk into the forest, just after crossing a bridge over a small creek, Apple Bloom’s careful vigilance was rewarded by the sounds of a crackling fire. She frowned, not knowing many ponies to camp out anywhere near the Everfree Forest. She turned slowly around until she could determine the direction the fire’s sound was coming from: off the path, between two tall trees. Looking closer, she noticed that the branches between the two trees had been broken off, but only a few feet off the ground, as if somepony about the same size as her had run through them with little regard for safety.

Apple Bloom steeled herself to the possible dangers and ventured slowly off the path, following the obvious path that the runner had left behind. Branches were broken, leaves were displaced, and it was easy even for an amateur forester like her to follow the path turn by turn. The sound of the crackling fire got louder as she went along, and in a few minutes, she was rewarded with the sight of a clearing with a bonfire in its center. A young pony lay on the other side of the fire, about the same size as Apple Bloom although the brightly burning fire made it impossible to make out any of its features.

“Hello?” asked Apple Bloom, stepping forward into the clearing. “Tootsie Flute? Diamond Tiara? Ah come in peace, whoever y’all aaaaaaaaaaah!”

Before she could finish her greeting, Apple Bloom was knocked off her hooves by a blast of invisible force. All about her, branches were flung from their trees, bushes were flattened, and rocks pushed mercilessly backwards, until Apple Bloom had landed breathlessly back on the main path leaving a path of supernatural destruction behind her. Vines, chopped in half by the invisible force, clung to her as she stood shakily back up. If there were any dangerous beasts lurking around, they were sure to have heard the commotion and would already be on their way. Apple Bloom shuddered and took off running towards Zecora’s hut. “To heck with bein’ quiet,” she whispered to herself, “ah’d better get where it’s safe, an’ fast!”

Though far more familiar with the forest’s ways than her two friends were, Apple Bloom still had to admit that the place could be dangerous if you called attention to yourself, which she had definitely just done. Or, rather, that stupid pony by the bonfire had done it for her without so much as a by your leave. Where could Tootsie Flute have gotten that kind of power? Had her mother Lyra taught it to her? Apple Bloom realized that she had no idea what exactly Lyra did all day. The mint-green unicorn just seemed to turn up at random moments looking extremely excited or miserable, but never actually seemed to do anything for a living. Was it possible that in the back of Bon-Bon’s innocent-looking sweet shop, a mighty magician was hard at work creating powerful spells and passing them on to her daughter?

Before Apple Bloom’s wild speculation could grow into paranoid certainty, however, the world fell away from her and she found herself suspended from a tree in a net trap, mere feet away from Zecora’s hut. She mentally chided herself for letting her guard down in the Everfree Forest, even so close to safety. Fortunately, the door to the hut opened a few moments later to reveal the familiar figure of Zecora, her eyes glowing dangerously beneath her hood.

“It seems I’ve caught you, pony thief!” intoned the zebra, and Apple Bloom breathed a grateful sigh to learn the trap had not been set by any more sinister creature. “While wishing some aperitif, your hooves have led you to my trap, and I quite welcome this mishap. As punishment, I bring your doom…” she trailed off, looking in consternation at the net above her. “Upon my soul; young Apple Bloom?”

“Uh, hi, Zecora!” said Apple Bloom, trying to wave from within the confines of the net. “Ah’m not your thief, ah swear! Ah was jus’ coming to talk to ya, all independent of that.”

“My pardon, then,” said Zecora, and pressed against a seemingly-ordinary knot on the trunk beside her. The net untied itself from the branch above, leaving Apple Bloom to fall back down to the ground. “I had assumed you were the one who has consumed my food stocks this last day and night. I had no wish to cause you fright.”

“Aw, don’t y’all worry about it, Zecora,” said Apple Bloom, once she had untangled herself from the net. “What’s a little trap among friends? Look, ah gotta talk to ya, an’ – hang on, you say somepony’s stealin’ your stuff?”

“Aye, Apple Bloom, your words ring true. I did not mean this trap for you, but for some other pony here, who haunts these woods and has no fear that I might wish my things returned. They take what they have not first earned, and in this act so base and rude they seek to rob me of my food. To forage in the Everfree’s a task I cannot do with ease, and thus to take without permission is a deadly imposition.”

Apple Bloom had visited Zecora more times than anypony else exactly knew about, but it still always took her a moment to parse her zebra friend’s rhythmic dialect. “If ah understand ya right,” she said, “you’re sayin’ that somepony has been takin’ your food since yesterday night, an’ you can’t afford it.” She grinned. “Well, Zecora, this is your lucky day! Ah happen to have spotted another pony on my way here, sittin’ by a bonfire, an’ ah’ll betcha carrots to horseshoes that that’s your culprit!”

“Ah, Apple Bloom, so good and wise,” answered Zecora, “your helpfulness outstrips your size. Come, lead me to this miscreant who covets tinder, food, and flint. No creature shall voice its objection whilst you walk in my protection.”

Apple Bloom nodded, and the two proceeded back through the woods until they found the spot where she had been so explosively deposited back onto the path. Indicating to Zecora to proceed quietly, Apple Bloom stepped once again off the path and into the disorganized forest, the direction towards the clearing made even more obvious by the results of the energy that had exploded outward from it. Several minutes of quiet walking brought them to the clearing, but the pony had gone, leaving only the still-burning bonfire and several packs of food.

“It was my culprit that you found,” said Zecora, after inspecting the packs closely. “These are my stores here on the ground. A pity that we came too late to save this robber from their fate.”

“Fate?” Apple Bloom looked at Zecora in confusion. “Wait, you don’t think that someone or something… ate them, do ya?”

“I can’t say; still, it seems to be a likely possibility. Regardless of their thieving ways, our task now is to quench this blaze. Leaving fires unattended could leave all the forest ended, should the fire spread to these overhanging vines and trees.”

“Oh, no no no no.” Apple Bloom shook her head vehemently while Zecora began to stomp out the fire. “No way this pony got ate by some random Everfree Forest creature. When ah saw them earlier, they knocked me all th’way back to the main path by magic! Ah reckon they’ve jus’ gone away someplace else, that’s all.

“Actually…” she continued, “that’s what ah came here to talk to y’all about in the first place. This pony sent me flying through the air, an’ last night there were these freaky clouds over Ponyville that got all pony-shaped and made a screaming sound! Is any of that something that ponies can do? …’specially young ponies like me, except a’course that they’d be unicorns?”

Zecora frowned. “No normal foal has such command of magic, should I understand completely what you’ve said to me. However, in its infancy the magic of a pony foal can far outstrip the fine control they grow to exercise with age. Perhaps, in misery or rage somepony could have made unfold the magic powers you’ve retold?”

Apple Bloom felt her eyes spin as she untangled Zecora’s response. “So… y’all’re saying that somepony might be able to do magic like that, but only if they were feelin’ real emotional at the time?” Zecora nodded. “Ha! Sweetie Belle did say that Tootsie Flute was lookin’ sad on Hearts and Hooves Day, an’ she’s a unicorn! It’s gotta be her!”

“It’s not Tootsie Flute,” said Scootaloo.

“Whaaa?” Apple Bloom stared incredulously at the other two inhabitants of their tree fort club house, both of whom seemed less than convinced by her story. “But ah had this whole thing figured out! What do y’all mean?”

“There’s no way she could have cast anything like that,” said Scootaloo, kicking moodily at the floorboards. “We talked to her parents, right? Well, to Lyra, at least, and she said that Tootsie’s been really down for the last couple days.”

“I told you so!” added Sweetie Belle, appearing to take pleasure in her classmate’s misery.

“Anyway,” said Scootaloo, “Bon-Bon’s been with her the entire time she wasn’t at school, so there’s no time she could have done anything! Sweetie Belle even asked what she was doing around sunset specifically, but apparently she was playing checkers then. Lyra’s been running the sweet shop in the meantime, and let me tell you, you have not lived until you’ve tried one of her scones.”

“I’m pretty sure the top two ingredients were both sugar!” said Sweetie Belle. Now that she mentioned it, Apple Bloom did notice her unicorn friend’s tail was shaking a little even as she stood there.

“So why’s she so sad?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo looked awkward. “I dunno if she’d really appreciate our spreadin—“

“She had a crush on Twist!” said Sweetie Belle, still shaking. “But Twist gave her Hearts and Hooves Day card to Truffle instead, and now Tootsie’s heartbroken.”

“I think Sweetie ate three of those scones,” said Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom nodded understandingly.

“So…” said Apple Bloom, “now what? Tootsie Flute’s the only unicorn in our class besides you, Sweetie Belle; are we gonna investigate every single unicorn foal in Ponyville? ‘cause ah reckon that might take a while, and maybe they’ll do something even worse than screamin’ clouds!”

“Don’t forget that the clouds looked like Diamond Tiara!” said Scootaloo. “There’s no way that could be an accident. What if we made up a list of every unicorn she’s ever been mean to, and… no, that’d be pretty much the same list, wouldn’t it?” She flung her front hooves up in the air. “Eeeurgh! Properly protecting Ponyville from mysterious magical marauders and their crazy cloud creatures is hard work.”

“Whoa, girls, you should check this out!”

“What is it now, Sweetie Belle?” asked Scootaloo a little too harshly.

“The sun’s setting… and the clouds are doing weird stuff!”

The three Crusaders hastily clustered around their telescope, taking turns to peer through it at the sky above the Everfree Forest. Exactly like the night before, clouds were escaping into Ponyville and gradually taking on a more solid-looking form. But this time, instead of coalescing into a single pony, the clouds were evenly divided between the familiar Diamond Tiara and a second filly, this one red-maned with a big pink bow.

“That’s me!” said Apple Bloom in disgust. “Where do those stupid clouds get off makin’ a monster outta me?!”

“I guess Diamond Tiara maybe isn’t as important as we thought,” said Scootaloo.

“Girls, suddenly I’m feeling really tired,” said Sweetie Belle.

Then the cloud ponies began their shrieking. This time, rather than lasting no more than a moment, the impossible sound went on and on, extending its cry of sadness far into the night.

“Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom pulled her head up tiredly from her desk. Trying to do an entire farm’s work of chores and her homework made for staying up entirely too late, especially with a mystery to investigate thrown into the middle of things. The incessant screaming from the cloud ponies hadn’t helped much either. “Yes, Ms. Cheerilee?” she managed.

“Could I speak with you and Diamond Tiara in the hall for a moment, please?”

“Huh? Oh… sure, ah guess?”

Shooting each other glares, the two fillies followed their teacher into the hallway of the school. Diamond Tiara spoke up immediately after the door had been closed behind them. “Ms. Cheerilee, if this is about the time I wrote ‘Sweetie Belle’s sister Rarity is a stoat’ on the chalkboard, then you should know I was only helping Apple Bloom with her spelling…”

“Ah was tryin’ to write ‘astute,’ “ muttered Apple Bloom darkly.

“Girls,” said Cheerilee, a hoof pressed to her forehead, and they were quiet. “It’s nothing like that. Girls, last night two cloud creatures wandered all over Ponyville making horrible shrieking sounds, and they bore a striking resemblance to the two of you. I know obviously neither of you are unicorns, so I’m sure you aren’t the responsible parties, but I think I would be an irresponsible teacher not to at least ask you about it. Apple Bloom, did you have anything to do with this?”

“Ah don’t have any idea who coulda done it,” said Apple Bloom sadly. “Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee, ah’m comin’ up as blank as you are.”

Cheerilee smiled. “I believe you, Apple Bloom. Diamond Tiara, did you have anything to do with this?”

Diamond Tiara did not immediately respond, and Apple Bloom looked over at her enemy in puzzlement. The pink earth pony was staring at the ground, unwilling to meet Cheerilee’s eyes. “…I didn’t do it,” she said at last.

“That ain’t the same question--!” said Apple Bloom, but Cheerilee shushed her.

“Diamond Tiara,” said Cheerilee gently, “I’m only going to ask you one more time, okay? Do you know anything about whoever’s been creating the screaming cloud ponies?”

Diamond Tiara, having seemed to recover herself, squared her chin and looked right back at Cheerilee. “I didn’t do it, and I haven’t done anything wrong. May I go back to my desk now?”

Cheerilee nodded. “Yes, you may both go back to your desks. Diamond Tiara, I hope you know that if at any point you discover there’s anything else you might want to tell me, then I’d be happy to listen to you without judging you for anything you might say. All right?” Diamond Tiara nodded. “All right. Let’s go back and see if I can teach a normal class today.”

It was, naturally, a futile hope. Before Apple Bloom had even managed to sit back down at her desk, Twist’s hoof was waving excitedly in the air. “Ooh, Mith Cheerilee!” she cried, “do you know anything about thothe weird monthterth that’ve been attacking Ponyville?!”

“Well, I personally feel that ‘monsters’ and ‘attacking’ are a little strong,” said Cheerilee, “but no, Twist, I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Is that why you were talking to those two?” asked Truffle Shuffle, gesturing at Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. “I thought the monsters looked kind of like them!”

“Apple Bloom’th my betht friend!” said Twist, coming quickly to the defense. “I’m sure she wouldn’t do anything like that!”

“I thought,” said Silver Spoon, “that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo seemed awfully interested in those cloud ponies yesterday. They couldn’t wait to call Diamond Tiara a monster!”

“Girls!” said Cheerilee loudly, and the talking subsided. “…and Truffle, of course. Everypony, I don’t know anything more than any of you do, unless Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle have some special insight. If anything is discovered, I’m sure the mayor will pass it on to me, but until that time there’s really no use in speculating during what is supposed to be a class period.”

Scootaloo fidgeted. “Well… it’s probably a unicorn. They can do powerful stuff sometimes when they get really agitated!”

“Where’d you learn that?” asked Truffle, and the Crusaders exchanged looks, unsure how wise it would be to reveal the details of their investigation. Tootsie Flute was sitting silently right there in the room with them, and even if they were pretty sure she was uninvolved, Apple Bloom was sure it couldn’t hurt to be too careful…

“Oh, you know,” said Sweetie Belle, dismissively waving a hoof in her best Rarity impression. “It’s just basic unicorn stuff.”

Before the discussion could continue, however, or Cheerilee’s intended class session could ever properly begin, a distraught purple pegasus that Apple Bloom vaguely recognized as Cloud Kicker burst into the room. “Is she here?” asked the pegasus, frantically. “Oh, Celestia, she’s not here either, is she?”

Cheerilee walked forward to greet the newcomer, the same calm expression on her face that she used for dealing with unruly students. “Good morning! Cloud Kicker, isn’t it?” She nodded. “You’re Pluto’s sister, right? Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Not unless you know where she is!” said Cloud Kicker. “My sister’s been missing ever since Hearts and Hooves day! I’ve been looking everywhere for her, and I had hoped she’d be here in school, but…” The purple pegasus, usually full of smiles, sank desolately to the floor.

“I’m terribly sorry,” said Cheerilee, “I’m afraid Pluto was absent yesterday as well. I was going to send you a note later today, but I had no idea she had disappeared! Is there really nothing else I can do to help?”

The door opened again, and the mayor stepped into the room. “Actually, Ms. Cheerilee, do you think you could bring all your students with us? A missing pony case is a serious matter, and I’m assembling everyone in Ponyville in the center of town.”

Cheerilee smiled shakily. “Of course, Mayor, I understand completely. All right, everypony! Please follow us two by two; we’re going to go learn what we can about our missing classmate Pluto!”

The eight of them grouped up, with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle in front and Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara bringing up the rear. Apple Bloom found herself walking next to Tootsie Flute, just ahead of Twist and Truffle. She might never get another chance as good as this one. “Umm… hi!” she said to Tootsie Flute beside her. “This sure is all awfully strange, ain’t it?”

Tootsie Flute nodded, but did not seem to care to say anything. Apple Bloom gritted her teeth and tried again. “It must be great being a unicorn, huh? Those cloud ponies last night must’ve taken some powerful magic… pretty impressive!”

Again Tootsie Flute only nodded, and Apple Bloom felt ready to bang her head against Sweetie Belle walking in front of her. This was even harder than talking to Big Mac! This girl’s problem wasn’t extreme agitation leading to big shows of magic: she was just a big emotionless rock! Maybe Scootaloo was right about her innocence. But that, thought Apple Bloom, meant that pretty much any unicorn in town could be responsible for creating those cloud monsters, and blasting her halfway across the Everfree Forest, and now maybe kidnapping Pluto. Well, not Snips or Snails – those two didn’t have enough magic in them to open a cellar door, even if they were agitated – but there were still way too many potential suspects to keep track of. Dinky? Ruby? An adult masquerading as a foal? Who could it be?

It took about an hour to round up everypony in Ponyville, which time the Crusaders used to roam about the town center looking for suspects. However, Apple Bloom’s mental list had nearly exhausted the possibilities, since a surprisingly low percentage of Ponyville’s foal population were unicorns. The only one they found that she had not already thought of was Sun Glimmer, a yellow-maned filly that Apple Bloom had shared a class with before meeting her fellow Crusaders at Diamond Tiara’s cute-ceañera, and an all-blue filly that none of them even recognized. Four potential suspects certainly wasn’t too bad a number, but none of them really knew Dinky or Sun Glimmer or the blue filly, and only Sweetie Belle knew Ruby. It was going to be difficult coming up with excuses to question them.

As the mayor climbed up to the podium to begin speaking, Apple Bloom looked worriedly around her at the assembled population of Ponyville. She was surrounded by ponies she knew or at least vaguely recognized, all of them looking concerned, confused, or annoyed to be pulled out of bed. Was it really possible that somepony here had secretly kidnapped one of her classmates and was dispatching cloud monsters against the town? Suddenly, Apple Bloom found herself wishing her big sister were back already and could show her what to do. Surely the Element of Honesty was what Ponyville needed right now.

“Fillies and Gentlecolts!” came the mayor’s voice, ringing loud above the general murmur of the crowd. “I am sorry to have gathered you here today on such short notice, but our happy town faces an emergency. As I’m sure you have all noticed, these past two nights our skies have been invaded by screaming cloud creatures bearing the shapes of our own young ones. Our beloved teacher, Cheerilee, has assured me that the fillies that these monsters impersonate know no more about this than you or I.

“More worryingly, one of our own, a young pegasus filly named Pluto, has completely disappeared. She has a manila coat and a purple mane and tail, frequently wears hats, and has not been seen since Hearts and Hooves Day. Does anypony know anything about this girl’s whereabouts?” The mayor paused, but while the assembled citizens muttered to one another in apparent shock, nopony came forward with any answer. “A pity,” the mayor continued. “Let me ask more generally: if anypony here knows anything at all about Pluto’s disappearance, or the cloud monsters terrorizing our ability to get a good night’s sleep, then all of Ponyville asks you, please come forward now with your information.”

A full minute went by with no response to the mayor’s question, and Apple Bloom busied herself looking around at her schoolmates for reactions. “Look!” she said in a gasp, poking her friends to get their attention. “Diamond Tiara’s lookin’ awfully worried. Ah reckon she really does know something about this whole shindig!”

“Yeah, but she’s not gonna tell us, is she?” asked Scootaloo distemperedly. “She only talks to Silver Spoon, and she’s almost as bad.”

“No she doesn’t!” said Sweetie Belle, a look of triumph on her face. “Doesn’t only talk to Silver Spoon, I mean. Apple Bloom, remember how you said she came to your farm the other day?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah! She wanted to talk to…” Her eyes went wide. “Granny Smith! Oh gosh, girls, we need to talk to Granny Smith an’ see if she knows anything!”

“It’s a good thing we all have to go to your place anyway, to do Big Mac’s chores!” said Sweetie Belle.

Before they could make further plans, the mayor began once more to speak. “Well,” she said, “I hope I can trust on you all to come forward should you discover anything of interest to the case.

“In the meantime, I will appoint a special detective taskforce to investigate this matter. As you all know, we here in Ponyville are blessed to have among us several great heroes of Equestria. Our dear Applejack, recipient of the Pony of Ponyville award, has saved Ponyville on multiple occasions, and Rainbow Dash has saved many of you with her feats of selfless heroism. They and their friends, of course, are the Elements of Harmony and have saved all of Equestria. However,” she said, as the sound of the collected ponies began to sound hopeful, “they are all six on vacation right now and will not return for several more days. We cannot afford to wait that long and risk the disappearance of more foals or the amplification of these magical attacks.

“There is one pony more who has helped us in the past, of course, but the great Mare-Do-Well has sadly disappeared as mysteriously as she first came, so I’m afraid we cannot count on her for aid either…”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Somepony really oughta tell the mayor someday that Mare-Do-Well was jus’ a prank mah sister an’ her friends were pullin’ on Rainbow Dash.”

Scootaloo stared. “Wait, what? Mare-Do-Well wasn’t real?! But she was so awesome!”

“And so,” said the mayor, “we will have to turn to someponies else. As you all know, the Elements of Harmony are our most visible citizens. It only makes sense, then, to ask the help of perhaps the second-most prominent ponies in Ponyville. Lyra and Bon-Bon, as your mayor and friend, I hereby appoint you both special detectives! Ponyville is prepared to compensate you monetarily for whatever lack of income you incur while working to solve these grave mysteries plaguing our town.”

The chores at Sweet Apple Acres were performed that day in relative silence, with all three Crusaders puzzling over what they could do to help Lyra and Bon-Bon. The only real discussion, which recurred several times over the afternoon, came from Scootaloo’s repeated complaints that nopony had told her about the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well.

“I mean, you girls did know I have a big poster of her up in my room, right?” she said at the end of the day. “It’s not like I totally forgot about her and never write Mare-Do-Well/Daring-Do crossover stories for all of Cheerilee’s writing assignments.”

“Yeah, about that poster in your room,” said Apple Bloom. “Where the hay do ya live, anyhow?”

“Girls!” said Sweetie Belle. “We’re done here, so let’s go talk to Granny Smith! Remember, if we learn anything great from this, it was my idea.”

The green-coated matriarch of the Apple family was upstairs reading through old letters when they found her, after poking their heads into most every other room in the barn and even the cellar just to be safe. “Howdydoo, li’l ham loaf!” she said as they walked in the door. “Aww, and you’ve brought your two little friends to visit too! Now, don’t tell me, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Lessee… Sweaterball and Scoopful, isn’t it? Ha! Sharp as an apple, that’s me!”

Scoopful looked disgusted while Sweaterball only giggled, but Apple Bloom didn’t waste time making corrections. “Hi, Granny!” she said. “We actually wanted to ask you some questions, if that’d be all right?”

“Course it’s all right! Regular waterfall of knowledge, that’s me, sugarlump.”

“Um, right! Granny, d’ya remember a couple days ago, somepony else came in an’ visited you? Diamond Tiara?”

Granny Smith smiled happily. “Ooh, yessiree. Now that’s a pretty filly, and no mistake. Weren’t nopony like her back in my day, and so well-spoken too.” She peered at Scootaloo. “Matter o’ fact, you there could stand to take a few lessons from her, Sportsload. That ain’t no ladylike way to wear your mane.”

Apple Bloom gulped. “Please, Granny, ah’m sure she’s very pretty an’ all in her own way, but what we’d really like t’know is what y’all talked about together.”

“Well, ain’t that a good question? Now let me think.” Granny Smith frowned and closed her eyes. Apple Bloom was just getting worried that her grandmother had fallen asleep when she suddenly perked up again. “Aha! Why, the poor girl was in about matters of the heart, wasn’t she! Wanted to know… now wait just a cow-town minute, quarter-cup. I know what this is all about!”

“You do?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Granny Smith pulled herself proudly up to her full height. “Course I do! Wasn’t born yesterday, eh? You three are concerned because somepony’s got a thing for your friend Diamond Tiara, and you want to know who it is so you can decide if they’re good enough for her, don’tcha? Well, am I right or am I right?”

Scootaloo groaned and whispered to Apple Bloom, “why is Diamond Tiara’s the only name she can actually remember?” Apple Bloom shrugged unhappily.

Sweetie Belle, however, stuck to the task. “Oh, um, you’re completely right, Granny Smith!” she said. “We’re, you know, awfully concerned for her, and anything you could tell us would be a really big help!”

Granny Smith was unmoved. “Now, you listen close, ‘cause I’m only going to say this once. Meddling in other ponies’ relationships ain’t gonna bring you nothing but trouble, no matter how good your intentions. This is her heart, and if you want to do her well then you’ll be there for her when it goes wrong and not one splickety second before, got it? If it’s anything important, that little filly’s sure to tell you herself before soon enough!”

She gazed at their obvious disappointment, and her face softened a little. “Aww, don’t be too sad, young’uns. If it makes you feel better, I don’t reckon li’l Tiara was all that into that suitor of hers, anyway.”

Try as they might, the three fillies were unable to get anything more out of the aging earth pony, and finally fled in embarrassment when Granny Smith remembered that Hearts and Hooves Day had just happened and asked whether the three of them had had any adventures that day. They reconvened in the living room, and Scootaloo flopped unhappily over the edge of a couch.

“Ugh!” she said. “That was a total bust.”

“No it wasn’t!” said Sweetie Belle. “We know that there’s somepony who likes Diamond Tiara, and if Granny Smith is right, then Diamond Tiara probably doesn’t like him back!”

“Oh, shut it, ‘Sweaterball.’ Since when is Diamond Tiara not liking somepony a big deal?” Scootaloo paused and put a hoof to her forehead. “Do you girls think my mane really looks that unladylike?”

Apple Bloom was just hunting for a delicate way to say yes when she was saved by the sound of screaming. The three girls ran to the window and looked outside, only to behold that the sky was full of cloud monster ponies, louder and more numerous than ever. “That ain’t right!” she said. “It’s not even sunset yet!”

“They must be getting more powerful!” said Sweetie Belle, yelling a little to be heard over the incessant cries. “Can you girls tell how many of them there are?”

Apple Bloom stared into the sky above. “Five, six, seven, eight… eight of them! Ah think that’s our whole class up there as clouds, even you two this time!”

“Eight?” asked Scootaloo. “Aren’t there supposed to be nine of us?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Apple Bloom, and frowned. “You’re right. No, we’re all up there but… Pluto. Pluto’s missing.”

Nopony was in good spirits the next day. The cloud ponies had not dissipated until nearly dawn, and their noise had made it almost impossible to sleep. Twist and Silver Spoon were both snoring, unwittingly using each other as headrests, while Diamond Tiara did her best to look haughty with bags under her eyes. Truffle yawned every few seconds, and Cheerilee didn’t look much better when she walked into the room.

“All right, everypony,” she said, startling Twist and Silver Spoon awake, “obviously we’ve all had a rough night, but that’s no reason to stop your educations!” She gave a very false-looking grin. “Now, who can tell me what we were talking about yesterday?”

As always, Twist’s hoof shot up. “Athtronomy!”

“That’s right, Twist. Now, obviously it’s been pretty hard to see the sky these last few nights, but can anypony name me a constellation anyway? Yes, Silver Spoon?”

Whatever constellation Silver Spoon had in mind was not fated to be shared with the class just then, for Sweetie Belle flung her own hoof into the air, crying “Ms. Cheerilee!”

Cheerilee blinked. “Yes, Sweetie Belle? Did you have a constell—“:

Sweetie Belle shook her head frantically. “Ms. Cheerilee, Tootsie Flute’s not here! What if she’s been kidnapped too?!”

Apple Bloom turned around to discover that her friend was right: Tootsie Flute’s chair was completely empty, leaving only seven of them in the class. “Oh, golly, girls, we’ve gotta go talk to Lyra and Bon-Bon!” she said, and Scootaloo nodded in eager agreement.

Cheerilee banged her hoof against the chalkboard to restore order. “Girls! You can’t simply run off like that at the very beginning of class. The mayor appointed Lyra and Bon-Bon special detectives for all of Ponyville, so I’m sure they can handle this all on their own. No, wait, girls! Come back!”

By this point, they were long gone. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hopped into the wagon hitched to Scootaloo’s scooter, and with a flapping of orange wings, they were off at top speed. Sleep-deprived ponies scurried out of their way as they rode, trees and streets and buildings passing by in a blur. Apple Bloom barely heard the screams from Rose, Lily, and Daisy that usually greeted their adventures before all three flower ponies had receded into the distance. In no time they reached Bon-Bon’s sweet shop, and Scootaloo flung the front door open without bothering to knock.

To their surprise, Tootsie Flute was right there. The filly lay contently in an indoor hammock with Lyra, who was busy trying and failing to braid her daughter’s short mane using her hooves alone. Scootaloo skidded to a stop and blinked confusedly. “Buh? Tootsie Flute, we thought you’d been kidnapped!”

Bon-Bon walked in from the next room, smelling strongly of peppermint. “Oh, hello, girls,” she said, stifling a yawn. “Shouldn’t you be in school right now?”

Apple Bloom stared upward at the hammock. “We were,” she said, “but then Sweetie Belle noticed that Tootsie Flute wasn’t there, and we got worried that maybe she’d disappeared jus’ like Pluto!”

“Oh,” said Bon-Bon, “that’s very kind of you girls, but we thought it’d be best for her to stay home today. Did you hear that, Tootsie? Some of your friends came to check up on you!”

Tootsie Flute made a face. “Don’t got no friends.”

Lyra abandoned her ministrations to her daughter’s mane and leaned dangerously far over the edge of the hammock, her face a mask of desolation. “Poor Flutesy’s heartbroken!” she cried, tears already beginning to pool in her eyes. “How can we be detectives with our daughter in this miserable state?”

Sweetie Belle, most accustomed of the three of them to dealing with emotional unicorns, tut-tutted. “You mean you’re not going to help the mayor?”

Bon-Bon sighed. “Well, we’ll try, of course. But it’s really awful timing. Here we have an unhappy daughter, and the mayor just dumps this whole detective thing on us out of nowhere. I don’t know how we’re going to pull it off.”

Apple Bloom, not quite sure why they were still there if Tootsie Flute was clearly not kidnapped, nodded. “Well, ah’m sure we wish you good luck, an’ if there’s anything we can do…”

Before she could finish her platitudes, Lyra had leapt from the hammock, grinning with her eyes completely empty of the tears from a moment earlier. “Yes! Yes, please! Anything you can do to help!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle, whose eyes were alight with determination. “Anything, you say?”

Several short minutes later, the three of them walked back into Cheerilee’s classroom. Twist stopped halfway through her description of an evidently very complicated constellation to stare at them as Sweetie Belle began to speak.

“Hi, everypony!” she said, tossing her curly mane dramatically. “Tootsie’s fine, but we’ve been named official deputy detectives by Lyra and Bon-Bon, and so we’ve got total permission from the mayor herself to do absolutely anything we need to do to investigate where Pluto went!”

Scootaloo turned to whisper to Apple Bloom behind Sweetie Belle’s back. “Wait, is that really what happened?”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Hush, ‘Sportsload.’ Ah reckon she might be onto something good.”

Sweetie Belle, unfazed by the whispered discussion, continued to emulate her sister’s self-assurance. “Ms. Cheerilee, you can keep on teaching, but we’re going to need to take your students out one by one and intro… interro... ask them questions.” She smirked. “Maybe some very detailed questions.”

Cheerilee looked understandably skeptical. “Girls, I’m glad you want to help figure out where Pluto went, but… did you really get mayoral authority?”

“Yep!” said Sweetie Belle. “We really did!”

Cheerilee groaned. “Celestia, I’m too sleepy for this. Okay, girls, you can ask some questions, but if even one pony comes back and reports you said something to harass them or anything like that, this stops, understand?”

The three Crusaders came together in solidarity to grin their best halo-producing grins. Just because this was the first they had heard of Sweetie Belle’s new plan didn’t mean they weren’t going to support her in it one-hundred percent.

“All right,” said Sweetie Belle, “I think first we should talk to… Diamond Tiara!”

“What?” Diamond Tiara glared at them all. “Why me?”

“That’s exactly what we’d like to know!” said Scootaloo, somewhat less than helpfully. “Also you’re sitting in the front row.”

“It ain’t about the stoat thing, ah swear!” added Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara stood up, the picture of put-upon innocence. “Guh, fine. Let’s go answer your stupid little questions so I can get back and hear more about the fascinating subject of tiny lights in the sky.”

Sweetie Belle led the way triumphantly as the four of them exited the main classroom. After a couple minutes of searching, they settled on an old closet with a single bright light, which they used to shine directly at Diamond Tiara. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo ignored her complaints about the light and looked to Sweetie Belle to direct the proceedings.

“All right,” said Sweetie Belle, “Deputy Bloom, how about you tell the suspect what we already know about her involvement in this ugly affair.”

Apple Bloom hesitated. “Um, you want me to tell her everything we know about her, Deputy Belle?” Deputy Belle nodded, so she turned to Diamond Tiara and began. “So, uh, the other day, you came to Sweet Apple Acres to visit mah Granny Smith to talk about love. Ah let ya talk to her, an’ then later there was a big cloud monster that looked like you in the sky an’ you had gone by then.

“Accordin’ to Granny Smith, you came to talk to her because you think somepony’s got a crush on you, but you don’t think y’like him back. Ah ain’t saying nothin’ about this colt’s taste in fillies, mind you.

“Anyhow, a couple days later Ms. Cheerilee asked us both if we knew where Pluto had gone, and ah thought you looked awfully evasive, an’ ah bet Ms. Cheerilee thought so too, but you wouldn’t fess up then. So…” Apple Bloom stopped as a thought occurred to her. She turned to her friends. “Girls, hang on, did Granny Smith ever actually say that this mystery suitor of Diamond Tiara’s was a colt?”

Sweetie Belle looked thoughtful. “I’m not sure she did, Deputy Bloom, but who else would it be?”

At this, Diamond Tiara gave up and strode to open the closet door. She turned around to glare at them each in turn. “Are you three kidding me? You barge this far into my personal life and you can’t even put together the pieces? It’s Pluto, you unbelievable dweebs! Okay? Pluto gave me her Hearts and Hooves Day card, full of some stupid spiel about destiny and stuff, and I turned her down. Then apparently she disappeared! Silver Spoon thought that Granny Smith might have some good advice, because she’s so old and all that, and I went to find out, forgetting for a moment that I’d probably run into you” – she pointed at Apple Bloom – “on the way there. Is that all?” When none of her questioners had any immediate response, Diamond Tiara glared at them all one last time, walked out, and slammed the closet door behind her.

“…you know,” said Scootaloo at last, “that does all make a lot of sense.”

Apple Bloom sunk down in a corner. “It does? Ah mean, okay, it explains why Diamond Tiara’s been actin’ so anxious an’ all, but what else? Pluto can’t have magic-blasted me through the forest or anything, she’s just a pegasus!”

“No she’s not,” said Sweetie Belle, “she’s an alicorn.”

There was a very long silence as both of them stared at her. At last Scootaloo asked “And you didn’t think to mention this, I dunno, ever?” at exactly the same time as Apple Bloom asked “Wait, how do you know that?”

“It’s why she wears hats so much!” said Sweetie Belle happily. “To cover her horn, I mean. Rarity makes a lot of them for her, so I know all about it, but they made me promise not to tell anypony!” She stopped. “Um… oops.”

Apple Bloom continued to sit in the corner, the gears in her head turning away as Scootaloo asked why Pluto wouldn’t want anypony to know about being an alicorn. “Oh,” answered Sweetie Belle, “it’s because they’re really rare. I mean, there’s the royal sisters, and their little cousin Leon, and Princess Cadence, and how many others can you think of? Cloud Kicker explained that she didn’t want her sister treated differently in school just because she had a horn, and it would be easier on her if everypony thought she was a pegasus! Look, you girls won’t tell anyone I told you this, right? Rarity would be so disappointed in me…”

“Okay,” said Apple Bloom before Scootaloo could reply, “ah reckon we’ve got this all figured out! Pluto likes Diamond Tiara, an’ gives her a Hearts and Hooves Day card, but gets rejected. She’s really sad, just like Tootsie Flute, and disappears into the Everfree Forest where she steals food from Zecora. Ah stumble upon her there, but she blasts me away before ah can get a good look at her. Meanwhile, her agitated emotions are making her alicorn magics create them awful cloud monsters!”

Sweetie Belle nodded in excitement. “That all sounds right! The first night, there was only Diamond Tiara in the sky, because she’s the one who broke Pluto’s heart. Then the next day you frightened her in the woods, Apple Bloom, so you got put up there too! And on the third night, the whole class was made into clouds, because… because…”

“Maybe,” finished Scootaloo, “because she thinks all of us don’t have to hide who we really are, and she’s… jealous?”

Apple Bloom cast a gloomy look at her ever-markless flank. “Hide? We don’t even know who we really are!”

Sweetie Belle flung open the door that Diamond Tiara had closed on them. “We have to go find her! Do you think she’s still in the Everfree Forest?”

“Might be,” said Apple Bloom. “Um, but shouldn’t we get Lyra and Bon-Bon in on this? Ah mean, they’re the real detectives…”

Scootaloo shook her head. “Nah! You saw how busy they were with Tootsie Flute. Let’s go handle this whole thing on our own, and then they’ll be able to rest easy!”

The Everfree Forest was as dark and intimidating as ever before, made worse by a strange odor that Apple Bloom couldn’t quite place in that context, but Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo eventually found their resolve to enter into it with her. Apple Bloom’s pace along the familiar path to Zecora’s hut was slowed somewhat by her companions, and she intimated to them the importance of staying silent to be able to hear unseen predators.

“Are we just going to search the entire forest?” asked Sweetie Belle in a whisper. “I’m not sure we really thought this through.”

Apple Bloom gulped. She had not considered that factor either. “Well, first off we should check that clearin’ she was in last time, ah think. If that don’t pan out… maybe Zecora’ll have some more ideas?”

“Hey, yeah!” said Scootaloo. “And even if not, she can keep us safe! …you are totally sure she’s friendly, right?”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Course ah’m sure, Scoot. Zecora’s as good a friend as anypony in Ponyville. Now hush, we’re almost at the point where we gotta leave the path.”

The line Apple Bloom had made while being blasted backward through the forest was still quite visible, littered with broken branches and flattened bushes, but unlike the last time Apple Bloom had ventured down it, it was also glowing. Something at the end of the line, probably in the clearing itself, was emitting an orange light.

“All right, y’all, follow me,” she said, sniffing the air once more. “Ah got a bad feelin’ about this…”

Carefully, they made their way through the trees and scattered plant matter, the light getting stronger all the way. As the clearing came into view, Apple Bloom’s fears were confirmed. The smell that had confused her at the entrance to the forest was smoke: a new bonfire had been built in the clearing, and it had spread to and engulfed the nearest trees, just as Zecora had warned against. “Pluto?” asked Apple Bloom, staring at the fire as it began to lick at several more trees. “Pluto, are y’all here? We know everything that happened, an’ why you’re doing this, an’… an’ we just wanna talk, all right?”

Pluto’s voice came to them, deeper and more strained than they remembered from their winged classmate. “It’s too late.”

Sweetie Belle jostled past Apple Bloom to stare around the clearing. “Where are you? Pluto, are you behind that big fire?”

Scootaloo shook her head, the hairs of her unladylike mane standing on end. “Uh, girls… I think she’s inside the fire.”

Apple Bloom followed Scootaloo’s pointing hoof and gasped. Pluto was indeed inside the fire, floating in the very center of it, her foal-sized horn now clearly visible and surrounding her with sparks of gold. She looked tired, but clearly unburnt. Apple Bloom turned to Sweetie Belle, hoping her unicorn friend would understand this magic better than she did.

“Pluto,” asked Sweetie Belle, “is your magic… shielding you from the fire?”

“For now,” said Pluto heavily. “I can’t keep this up forever. Pretty soon I’m gonna run out, and then nopony will have to worry about me ever again.”

Apple Bloom planted herself in a fighting stance, bristling. “Now hold it! Are y’all tryin’ to get yourself killed?!”

“Why not?” asked Pluto. “All I do is make other ponies unhappy. Cloud Kicker will be better off without having to hide my stupid horn all the time.”

“Hang on,” said Scootaloo, “I thought this was about that card you gave to Diamond Tiara?”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle. “Pretty stupid taste, too, if you ask me. What did you even see in her?”

Pluto sighed, the fire rippling briefly outward from her breath. “It’s not about who she is, it’s about who she will be, okay?

“Look, I’m an alicorn. All my life my sister and I’ve been wondering why, and when I met Diamond Tiara, I thought I got it! What do alicorns do? They’re princesses, they rule ponies! And Diamond Tiara, her special talent is being in charge, right? Crowns and stuff? So I thought it was our destiny to rule together, but when I told her all that… she wasn’t so impressed.”

“Seriously?” asked Apple Bloom. “Y’all thought you knew what your destiny was, it didn’t work itself out… and you’re tryin’ to off yourself because of that?”

“I… I guess so?”

“Look,” said Apple Bloom, “we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Making guesses about what our destiny is, that’s kinda what we do. We’ve tried rollerbladin’, tap-dancin’, house paintin’, paint removin’, fishin’, fire-dancin’, fire-eatin’, fire-startin’…”

“Never living inside a fire, though, that’s pretty cool,” said Scootaloo to herself.

“…tug of war,” continued Sweetie Belle, “hopscotch, chess, advertising, arguing, more arguing…”

“…the point is,” said Apple Bloom, “is we fail every darn time. But that don’t mean we throw ourselves into a fire, ‘cept that one time Sweetie Belle got hypothermia. Every time we fail, we jus’ try something else.”

“You don’t always get to choose,” said Sweetie Belle. “Like, one time I really wanted to have quiche for lunch, but Rarity said no. And eventually we had salads, but that was just as good! Umm, the lunch is supposed to represent your destiny, in your case,” she finished lamely.

“It’s the thrill of discovery!” said Scootaloo. “Sometimes you’re gonna get burnt, or covered in tree sap, or even grounded, but it’s still an adventure! An adventure that somepony like Diamond Tiara’s never gonna have again, by the way, since she knows what she’ll be doing with her life.”

“An’ you’re an alicorn,” said Apple Bloom. “Jus’ think of all the things y’all could do! Heck, you could make us a whole new second sun or something’! But you’ve got plenty of stuff to learn before that, from Ms. Cheerilee…”

“…and from life,” said Sweetie Belle.

They went quiet, waiting for some reaction from Pluto. For several long seconds the alicorn filly hovered mutely in the flames, her face unreadable. Finally she spoke, her voice reluctant. “But you girls all have each other,” she said. “I… I really liked Diamond Tiara, all right? But now I dunno if she’ll ever even talk to me again! Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your heart broken?”

They looked at each other. “Well,” said Scootaloo, “not exactly.” She drew the letters MDW in the dirt with one hoof.

“But we know somepony who does!” said Sweetie Belle. “Tootsie Flute’s been really sad since Hearts and Hooves day too. I bet you two could be friends and help each other get over this!”

“Though you really need to stop hidin’ your horn,” said Apple Bloom. “Lettin’ other ponies know who you are don’t force anything on you unless you let them. Like my family expects mah special talent to be about apples, but ah ain’t lettin’ that stop me from tryin’ anything else we can think of! And Tootsie Flute’s gonna like you all the more if you let her know who you honestly are.”

“Come on, Pluto,” said Sweetie Belle. “There are lots of friends waiting for you out here.”

“And adventures!” said Scootaloo.

“And y’all will figure out your destiny,” said Apple Bloom, “jus’ maybe not today. Or tomorrow. Or even next week. But it’ll happen!”

“So come on,” said Scootaloo, “what do you say?”

Days went by. The cloud monsters no longer haunted the night skies, and the citizens of Ponyville had never been more grateful for the boundless wonders of sleep. Apple Bloom and her friends worked out a strict schedule for homework and farm labor, and eventually Big Macintosh, confident that they had learned their lesson and frankly bored with nothing to do, resumed his work on the farm. Tootsie Flute went back to school, and Lyra and Bon-Bon, grateful to no longer be called on as detectives, resumed their usual lives. Bon-Bon made the scones and other sweets, which never had quite as powerful an effect on Sweetie Belle as Lyra’s sugar-soaked concoctions, and Lyra did whatever it was she did all day. Diamond Tiara continued to be as unpleasant as ever, but when Apple Bloom wandered into the barn one day to find Granny Smith telling old stories to an attentive Silver Spoon, she couldn’t find it in herself to kick her classmate out.

The train station was filled with well-wishers some days later, but the Crusaders managed to shove their ways to the front of the crowd, jostling past Big Macintosh and the Cakes and Rarity’s parents and everyone else. The Friendship Express rolled slowly into town, the whistle blew, the doors opened, and the Elements of Harmony returned home to Ponyville from vacation. Before they could even set their luggage down, three happy fillies had begun clambering all over them.

“Whoa there, squirt!” said Rainbow Dash, with more than a trace of affection. She ruffled Scootaloo’s mane, only to draw back in surprise at finding it in curls. “Huh, that’s a new look for you, Scoots! You trying to go all dainty lady on me? Gonna start following Rarity around now, maybe learn to flutter instead of fly?”

“Never!” said Scootaloo firmly. “You’re my hero, Rainbow Dash. My real hero. But I’ve got plenty of room to try things out, y’know. Just for kicks.”

A few feet away, Rarity was trying desperately to retain her levitation spell on her luggage while her sister clung to her neck. “Eek! Do take care, little sister,” she said. “I have plenty of sumptuous surprises for you from Manehattan, but surely those can wait until we retreat to the Boutique…!”

“That’s okay, sis!” said Sweetie Belle. “I just wanted you to know how glad I am you’re my sister, and you let me be whoever I want to be!”

At the edge of the platform, Applejack looked her younger sister up and down. “Well, you don’t look too bad, Apple Bloom,” she said. “Were y’all three able to keep Sweet Apple Acres up and runnin’? Like ah said, ah’m real sorry about the timing…”

Apple Bloom grinned confidently. “Oh, that? Heh, that wasn’t a problem at all, sis. We messed with some powerful magic, but ah reckon we learned our lesson about responsibility, an’ also about lettin’ ponies do what they want t’do.” She looked over at her fellow Crusaders, who had both gone silent and were watching her. “Matter a’fact… the three of us have probably got a letter to write to the princess.”

Twilight Sparkle was there instantaneously, beaming, Spike being dragged bodily behind her. “Oh, girls, Spike would be delighted to take a letter for you!” she said. Apple Bloom thought briefly of Lyra and wondered if maybe all unicorns were prone to sudden fits of extreme emotions, and if so, how they’d have to handle Sweetie Belle in a few years. Well, no sense in worrying about that just yet. “Spike,” asked Twilight Sparkle, “do you have any paper? Yes? Oh good! All right, girls, ready when you are!”

“Well,” said Apple Bloom as the three of them gathered around, “ah guess these usually begin… Dear Princess Celestia, right?

“Dear Princess Celestia,” she continued, “this last week we’ve had a lot to think about, concernin’ the issues of privacy, an’ secrecy, an’ also honesty, to others and to yourself. It can be important to keep a secret, but sometimes you gotta stop an’ ask yourself if the secret you’re keepin’ might be dangerous. Sometimes it’s better to let the truth out than for somepony to get hurt, whether or not that truth could make you look kinda bad.”

“Sometimes,” said Scootaloo, “it’s the truth that hurts, even if nopony meant to keep it a secret from you in the first place. Sometimes the lie is a nicer, simpler, and honestly more awesome world to live in. But the sooner you get told the truth, the easier it’ll be to get over the lie.”

“If the secret you’re keeping is who you really are,” said Sweetie Belle, “then maybe you should tell somepony. Or maybe everypony! The thing is, if you lie about something like that, then somepony is definitely going to get hurt.”

“An’ if you tell somepony an’ they reject you,” said Apple Bloom, “she’s probably just a stupid insufferable pony who doesn’t care for anypony besides herself.”

“Don’t forget Silver Spoon,” said Sweetie Belle helpfully.

“Yeah,” said Apple Bloom, “nopony besides herself an’ Silver Spoon. Uhh, actually, Spike, maybe you had better not write that last part in. It might read as a trifle… specific.”

Spike gave a proud salute, and the Crusaders looked up to find Twilight Sparkle watching them curiously. “Girls,” she said, “those are some very interesting thoughts about friendship, but I’m afraid I’m not sure what they have to do with doing all the chores at Sweet Apple Acres. Is there anything else you’ve been doing that your families should maybe know about?”

“Oh!” said Apple Bloom, looking guiltily at her coconspirators. “Um, you see, there was this pegasus Pluto, who got, um, lost in the woods…”

“Right!” said Sweetie Belle. “And we helped find her, in a complicated way that totally involved secrets!”

“The mayor had this whole ceremony to thank us!” said Scootaloo. “We all got these great certificates of heroism, and I took mine and put it on my wall where my Mare-Do-Well poster used to be!”

“Yeah, so, about that wall in your room…” began Apple Bloom, but stopped as she saw Twilight Sparkle’s expression. The lavender unicorn did not appear exactly convinced by the completeness of their story. The Crusaders shared one more worried glance, considered, and as one, bolted for the scooter parked outside the train station. The same friends and relations whom they had pushed aside to get to the train were now once again bumped into by a headlong rush to get away from the train.

“You know,” said Sweetie Belle as she and Apple Bloom hopped into the scooter’s wagon, “pretty much everypony in town knows that Pluto’s an alicorn now.”

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo. Buildings began to fly by on either side of their mad trajectory, and three familiar screams were heard. “The whole story’s gonna come out sooner or later, Apple Bloom. Shouldn’t we have just told her the truth?”

Apple Bloom looked behind them. For a moment, before the scooter made a quick turn, she thought that she could see Pluto and Tootsie Flute playing beside a fountain and laughing happily. “Yeah, but this is Twilight,” she said. “Sure, Pluto’s the most magical foal in all Ponyville, but she just wants to live a normal life an’ figure out for herself what she’s gonna do with it. If there’s one pony in town who can’t be trusted not to make a big deal out of an alicorn…”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded. “Twilight Sparkle,” they all said in unison. The scooter sped away into the distance, its riders intent on keeping one filly’s secret as long as possible.