Rifty Shifty

by Mythee

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Doctor Whooves, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee
Length: 4499

Februrary Write Off Entry. Prompt: Mysterious creatures are attacking ponyville.

It all stemmed from an event known as the "Rift". Long-limbed creatures began to emerge by the hundreds from Everfree forest, mysterious, raving, strangely intent on the ponies... especially on a select few of them, among which those wielding the Elements of Harmony. Soon, Twilight left to investigate the cause and never returned. One could almost suspect a dark plot, if not for...

Published 2012-03-06 18:23:25 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-20 22:33:37 UTC

Dawn of the Shed

A wise pony once said that if you're going through hell you better keep running, or you'll never leave. And that was only one of the reasons why Rarity was absolutely, positively certain that they had to get out of here, no matter their state. (I mean, have you SEEN her hair right now?!!) She had brought up the issue- no, not the hair one- with Applejack multiple times to no avail, and became convinced that the orange pony had turned dull from exertion. But she wasn't the only one.

-"We're all tired, Applejack, but we need to leave! Surely we'll have better protection in Canterlot. We can't let Pinkie Pie's sacrifice be in vain." The unicorn insisted pleadingly, drawing a fighting gaze from the orange mare and some attention from the dozen or so other colorful ponies shuffling nervously in the room.

-"I told you already, ah'm not leavin'!" Through gritted teeth, she added: "-Not before we run those monsters outta Sweet Apple Acres."

Rarity breathed an exasperated sigh and slid onto her stomach to flail her legs up and down in torment, annoying nearby ponies. Out of all of her friends, why did she have to be stuck with one so... so... stubborn?!

-"This is such a DI~SAS~TER! Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and even Twilight Sparkle, why didn't you take me with youuuu?!"

There is some explaining to be done. This dire situation had come out of the blue earlier that week- it all stemmed from an event being referred to as the "Rift". Long-limbed beings began to emerge from Everfree forest, mysterious raving creatures strangely intent on the ponies... especially on a select few of them, among which were those wielding the Elements of Harmony. They arrived by the hundreds and soon Twilight had left to investigate the cause, and never came back. One could almost suspect a dark plot, if not for... we'll get back to that later. Since town turned to chaos, many scattered, leaving to find a haven in other parts of Equestria; others remained, holing themselves up in obscure places such as this basement of an abandoned building, slated for demolition ever since Derpy accidentally started the process. The city's reaction to that was simply, "why not".

-"Come to think of it... Derpy, why are you here with us? All of the pegasi have left for Cloudsdale, where it's safe." Spoke Cheerilee, attempting to peer over Derpy's wings to understand what she'd been staring at since awhile ago, which to her further confusion turned out to be the ceiling and the floor with each of her eyes simultaneously.

-"AH!" The gray-winged mare suddenly took off, as if remembering something. "-I'VE GOT TO GO!" This announcement succeeded in turning the deep pink teacher a shade of white matched only by Rarity's flank. "-No wait!" She lunged at the younger pony, grabbing onto a leg, but Derpy was like an unstoppable force. Everypony scrambled onto their hooves to leap and pile up on the flying pony, but none succeeded in pinning her down; she erupted through the roof, carrying no less than three ponies off with her, announcing their location to all that lurked below. The victorious yay-ing from those being carried up to safety was soon drowned out by unponylike screaming from the streets; they had been spotted. Soon a small mob of invading organisms was sprinting toward the rickety shack, roaring hungrily.

Nopony would blame Cheerilee for Derpy's unpredictability, but it didn't stop Rarity from making a show of this development.

-"We're all doomed!" she cried, as Applejack dashed past her, taking the initiative. "-Snap out of it, Rarity!" The orange pony led the way out of the shack, barking orders to the others for them to run out in formation. Clouds of dust lifted in their wake, which got Rarity to snap out of her drama for fear of absorbing any more of it into her coat.

-"Save it for later, it's time to get out of here just like you wanted!" She told herself, summoning up the strength to join the other ponies in rushing out after her friend.

-"Rarity, NO!" Came Applejack's distant voice, but it was too late. One of the creatures was already outside, within hoof's reach of Rarity. It loomed, eyes widening in surprise and smile widening even further.

-"IT'S RARITY!" The monster cried, pointing at the pony to alert its bipedal brethren; Rarity flinched back, about to bolt, but the... male? had grasped her tail in the nick of time, and she was held in her tracks.

-"EEEEEEEEEK!!" She screamed, and the creature seemed just as shocked as she was, letting go of her tail, which caused her to topple over.

-"I'm sorry, it was a reflex! Please just stand still for a second, my friends just want to meet you! We're not dangerous!"

The horrified pony recovered as quickly as she could. "-Oh I know that, but you're all just TOO friendly! Now stay away from us!" A crowd of at least a few dozen of them was closing in on her now, yelling things like: "-We found Rarity!!", "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HER!", "I get to see her up close!!", and most frightening of all, calls of "How did your perfect pelt get so dirty?! Ohh, I can take care of that!!" and "Let me brush your hair, pleaaaase?" Many of them were holding up handheld devices, from which light flashed repeatedly like cameras.

-"I'LL SAVE YA!" Applejack erupted from a nearby bush with a flying jump kick, which was sidestepped by the creature with apparent ease. As the blonde pony fell and made a steady landing, she looked at the opponent, sizing him up. -"Nice dodge." She admitted.

-"Applejack!" The delight in his voice caused her to twitch, and then he continued bashfully: "-Oh, um thanks, picked up a few things from watching all that anime, I guess! Hahaha!"

-"What?" Applejack had no idea what he was talking about, but she'd created the opportunity for Rarity to flee; and with that, the ponies made a swift exit from the scene.

-"No wait-" he called, failing to keep the ponies there. Oh well, at least he'd found new inspiration for his Rarijack fic.

-"I feel a little bad for leaving that one back there without even saying goodbye." The unicorn admitted, when she and Applejack were a fair distance away, hiding in the garden brush near Ponyville's hospital and making quiet conversation.

-"What are you sayin' now?! Ah saw 'im grab yer tail!"

-"Yes but, he didn't mean any harm, you know? You shouldn't have tried to kick him. That was harsh."

-"..."

-"Uhm, thank you! For saving me earlier. I'm very sorry you had to split up from the group."

-"Thass better." Applejack said, peering out from behind the fluffy camellias. A brown stallion was walking by near the hospital's wall, slowed as he was dragging a creature firmly clinging to his flank, where they could see an hourglass shaped cutie mark. ("I told you, I don't -HAVE- a damn TARDIS!" He grumbled tiredly, while the weird primate babbled on about what a big fan they were, and would he please, please bring them with him wherever he was going.)

Eventually, Rarity spoke up again. "-What are we spying on, anyways? Isn't this the most dangerous area? The Hospital is full of them!" Applejack shrugged, finally forced to explain the risky idea she'd been contemplating.

-"Since we're only two now, ah figured we could, y'know... infiltrate and go save Pinkie Pie." The fashionista pony immediately backed away, shaking her head furiously. "-Ohnonononono. We can't! There are too many!"

Applejack knew this was going to happen, but she wouldn't be able to do it alone. It would be going from Mission Unlikely to Mission Impossible, and yet, she would do it anyways. The sound of party music and loud cheering from the Hospital carried over all of Ponyville, an endless reminder of the difficulty their favorite pink pony was in. Shortly after the Rift first happened, Pinkie Pie had taken it upon herself to throw an ENORMOUS welcome party for the new arrivals despite all the uninhibited clinging and ceaseless bothering from the creatures, distracting the bulk of these... "fans" and allowing many citizens to escape. But the creatures kept coming out of who knows where, as if there was no end to them. The mirthful celebration lasted day and night; by the third day, Pinkie Pie had fallen ill. Nopony had ever imagined that the hyperactive pony could run out of energy. Even in her sorry state, she continued to keep most of the creatures contained in the hospital, but not by her own choice; they had decided all on their own to throw her a "Get Well Party" until she recovered, which had been going strong ever since.

Applejack clutched her hat with both hooves, shaking with emotion as she implored Rarity.

-"Ah need yer help, Rarity. Ah swear, if we can just get her outta there, ah'll say goodbye to reclaimin' Sweet Apple Acres and we can go to Canterlot-"
The white unicorn had put her front hooves on Applejack's own, eyes shining with compassionate tears and hope.

-"Not another word, Applejack. We'll save her, I promise!"

-"Save who?! Sounds like fun! I'll help!!" A perky voice interrupted all of a sudden, and both Applejack and Rarity's gazes shot up at the figure hanging down to peek at them from a tree. They had to rub their eyes in bafflement, even though they knew it was true.

-"Pinkie Pie... but... how?! You were sick!" Applejack spoke while the ponies grins grew in unison.

-"Oh, you sillies." giggled Pinkie, as if nothing had happened. "Of course I got better! But I thought it would be really really REALLY bad if I had to do any more singing and dancing and people-entertaining, so I kept pretending to be sick. I'm telling you," she began to flail in position, "-I can't eat another slice of cake! Never thought I'd say this, but Pinkie's all, partied, ouuut-!!" By her last sentence she had lost her balance and fell off her tree branch, making a ruckus.

-"Uh oh Pinkie, we're glad yer OK, but ah think you just told everypony where we are." Said Applejack from under the pink one, getting back up.

-"Nothing could ever be truer!" Rarity continued smoothly, "-and now that you're safe, we must head to ~Canterlot~!" Seeing Applejack's expression, she was about to retract her statement but then the orange pony smiled and nodded, readjusting her farm hat. -"Let's go then!" She announced, as a mob of partying creatures began to emerge running from the building, having heard Pinkie Pie's voice. The ponies galloped away and out of reach, Pinkie Pie still sitting on Applejack's back, waving back to the crowd. "Bye guys! You can keep partying without meee! Have fun! And have cupcakes, too! Oh, and cake! And sarsaparilla!"

They could only listen helplessly to the endless list of foodstuffs as the star of their party disappeared over the horizon.

28 Hays Later

It was a fresh morning, announced by the birds of spring and the dewey moisture in the air. Through the troubles of ponykind, nature remained calm, peaceful and unperturbed. After taking a well-deserved rest out of town, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie had recovered much of their energy. They had been keeping a steady pace to Canterlot ever since Pinkie startled them awake in the morning, putting shame to the average morning pony with her sheer amount of energy. There had also been a steady stream of distractions and arewethereyet's as a result of this. According to Applejack's internal clock, they were due for another one in three... two... one...

-"AREWETHEREYET???" Pinkie shouted, lifting the other ponies off their hooves.

-"No! Ah told you already two minutes ago, we're NOT-"

-"Ohh dearie, we're here!" Interjected Rarity's voice, in a manner more perturbed than joyful.

"Oh, huh. We're there, Pinkie! You can stop asking now. So, what's the situat-"

-"GAAASSSSSSSP!" Went Pinkie Pie, witnessing Canterlot.

-"You can say that again." Conceded Applejack.

-"GAAASSSSSSSP!" Pinkie went again. And then grinned sheepishly. "Sorry! I thought you wanted that. But really, I LOVE the new decor! But I wonder what it means?"

-"Ah don't know, but we're gonna go and find out."

Rising up above the gates and castle were great, billowing flags and star-speckled banners, all with the same words and distinct silhouette of somepony they all knew well. They read: NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC.

It was a highly atypical day in Canterlot, but a certain princess could see no end to the situation. Stallion-tall stacks of paperwork piled before her, and the walls to the castle were lined with these intrepid... "humans", waiting to serve her every need even though they had inconvenienced her more than anything. Luna had to keep asking herself how her life had turned upside down, and Equestria with it. They had come out of nowhere, certainly not by her power, and banded together into a kind of military structure, calling themselves the New Lunar Republic and spouting nonsense like "Overthrow Celestia's Tyrannical Reign!" and "The Mandate of the Sun is Already Over!"

The streets soon filled with propaganda, a protest vying for Luna's usurpation of her sister's throne. Celestia, with a hurt expression, had appeared before her, apologizing that she had never noticed that Luna wanted to rule so badly, and that she would take her leave. Before Luna could object and tell her that the perceived rebellion was fake, the sun's goddess had disappeared as quickly as she had come, leaving this mess for Luna to sort out.

And as much as she would like to go look for her sister, she could not abandon everypony in their time of need, especially since these overfriendly alien life forms had taken to her as their leader. Since they had (temporarily!) overthrown Equestria's ruling system and elected its new (temporary!) head, Luna understood that for better or for worse, they were now citizens- and she needed to create a place for all of these citizens, or all would fall into chaos. Jobs, housing, laws about Not Infringing On an Equestrian's Privacy... she had her work cut out for her.

"Tea, your highness?" Asked a cheerful, tentatively approaching human, holding up a cup.

-"No thank- NO THANK YOU." She answered in the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice, recalling that these people seemed to prefer it, unlike the ponies. Unfortunately, she had already gotten out of the habit and was prone to slip-ups.

-"What about some coffee, then?" He asked, interrupting Luna in the midst of reading another sentence on a permit document for a new multi-story toy store that would create both jobs and a consumer-provider system for the immigrants, many of which were strangely obsessed with small figurines of ponies.

-"We said- WE SAID, NO THANK YOU."
Several humans being "guards" near the entrance to her office had to repress fan squeals.

-"Water, then?"
Luna peered at his tray, and realized it was in fact a rolling cart with multiple trays, each of them carrying a selection of drinks. From the looks of it, the enthusiastic human would not stop asking until he got through all of them. Luna hung her head.

-"WATER, THEN." Confound these humans, they drive her to drink...

All of a sudden, familiar figures erupted through the entrance (what are the guards even there for? Oh, they're taking pictures with them. Hm.) The three intruders were Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie- three of the "Mane 6," as humans would call them. These ponies had helped the long-suffering alicorn out before, and it hurt her to see all of that hard-earned friendship put into peril from the misunderstanding that was doubtlessly taking place. Despite the circumstances, Luna could almost leap out from her seat and hug them.

-"IT IS GOOD TO-" Luna blushed with the mistake of using the wrong voice again,- "We mean, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie, it is good to see you here!"

-"What! Is!! The meaning of this, your highness?!" Huffed Rarity, with Applejack glaring some additional force into her implied accusation.

-"Yeah, Luna! What IS the meaning of this?! And what IS the meaning of autonomy in nursing practice? And what IS the meaning of the word 'pagination'? What- "

-"PINKIE!" shouted the unicorn and earth pony in unison. Their friend was going on a random tangent again. "What we WANT to know is why you've teamed up with these- er, these whatever they are-"

"-Humans?" Added Luna helpfully.

"-thankyou HUMANS, why you've teamed up with them to take over Equestria!!"
Luna shook her head calmly, having recited this dialogue many times in her head already.

-"This is all a misunderstanding, everypony. We never meant to create the New Lunar Republic. The humans decided that on their own, and now I am busy with the aftermath."

-"So yer sayin' that all this just... HAPPENED?" Protested Applejack, to whom the night-hued Alicorn gave a nod.

-"That is affirmative. We do not know when Celestia will return, but if you would help us restore order to Equestria, perhaps that day would come a little sooner. It would be most appreciated."

The ponies looked at each other in turn. She didn't seem to be lying, and... to tell the truth, they wanted to believe her. After seeing how much less chasing, panicking and mild violation of privacy was occurring in the streets of Canterlot, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie (if she had been paying attention) knew that if anypony knew how to repair all of this chaos, it was Luna. "Well then... I guess that's our only option, is it?" The sooner Ponyville was, er, "saved", the better. Luna's bottom lip quivered, a sparkle returning to her eyes, and she flashed the most brilliant of smiles.

-"I cannot thank you enough, my friends. Please, come with me." She said, getting up to lead them to another room, where she could discuss with them in private.

-"Okey dokey lokey, your highness!" Chimed in Pinkie Pie, bouncing after the royalty.

I am Legend

Her mane shone in the sun, flowing brilliance across a soft spectrum of light. Her tall white body was like a masterpiece in itself, and statues in her image had been erected all across Equestria for millenia. She was worshipped as a goddess and treated as a ruler. She was loafing around on a hammock two hundred and thirty miles from Equestria and reading a book. She was Princess Celestia.

"Celestia, weren't we supposed to be on a mission?" Asked Twilight, her most faithful student, on an adjacent hammock, studying a spread of maps and travel logs. If one would peer over to her other side, one would find a third and smaller hammock in which was cradled a tiny dragon in the midst of a nap. Twilight had insisted not to leave him behind.

A few days ago when the Rift occurred, Twilight had left to investigate the cause. She could not hide her shock when she had discovered Celestia herself, helping beings from another dimension through a portal. Since Celestia could not afford to be found out, she asked that Twilight not return to the other ponies for now, and took her on a journey to find a land into which the humans could migrate and safely inhabit. There were some holes in the logic that Twilight had yet to figure out; something seemed to be... missing from the picture. Celestia had remained enigmatic, dodging her questions in that characteristic, goddess-like manner. It was far too easy to just nod and accept whatever the heavenly smiling Alicorn provided as an answer, even if in hindsight it sounded like utter nonsense.

-"Ah, yes, Twilight... it's about that time of day, isn't it? I believe we are done here. Where do you feel like going?" She asked, closing the book. The campsight packed itself up magically, and Spike fell to the forest floor, surprised. "Hey!" He complained, having been woken up in an unpleasant manner.

Twilight arched a brow, thinking. Why would Celestia leave such an important decision to her? Something about her wording bothered her. -"Well, I heard that the Valley of Ni, which lies near Mount Shrubbery is inhabitable... with the drawback of dragon migrations passing through there every few years, which could pollute the water for entire seasons at a time. Not to mention if one of them fell aslee-" before Twilight could finish her sentence, the little crew of three had been teleported to the tip of Mount Shrubbery.

-"Hmm, yes, scenic." Celestia stated, breathing in the pristine air and taking in the scenery. "Thank you ever so much, Twilight Sparkle, for your excellent suggestions. They are all just as lovely as the last."

The purple unicorn was flattered. "You're welcome as always, your Highness!" She said in a slightly flustered manner. "So have you decided yet? I'm concerned about my friends back home... we still don't know what these humans could do."

-"Do not worry yourself, Twilight Sparkle. They are no simple humans; I selected all of them carefully. They would not harm anypony."
The unicorn was taken by surprise. Hadn't she said they were humans, before? "But then, what are they?"

-"They are Bronies, Twilight. They care for Equestria's well-being just as much as you and I, and respect our ways."

-"Pardon my forwardness, but then why do we need to find another land for them? We could just let them live with us, even though it would take some getting used to, I mean..."
The princess remained quiet, giving Twilight cause for worry. Had she been too insisting? Celestia smiled peacefully. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, then grinned, lifting her hooves to either side of her muzzle and to her travel companion's shock and surprise, the alicorn yodeled to her heart's content. After she was done she was feeling quite refreshed, and came to a decision. It was time.

-"I truly enjoyed the past few days in your company, so I shall let you in on a secret. It was all just a ruse."

-"A... ruse?" The unicorn asked, as Spike came to a realization and began to puff with laughter, much to Twilight's confusion.

-"A distraction, an excuse for my absence. Luna will have learned much and regained confidence by the time I return, and the Bronies will all have left Equestria. Everything will go back to normal."
The reality of what the princess meant was sinking in ever so slowly, and Twilight Sparkle felt heat rising to her cheeks. "-But..."
Lifting a hoof to her chin, Celestia chuckled at her student's cute speechlessness.

-"The week is soon coming to an end. Before then, shall we head to the beach?"

A few feet away, Spike took notice of an interesting rock, a shiny amber stone with a tiny creature trapped inside. It was perfect for the task at hand. With a sympathetic thought to Luna and a puff of green fire, it was gone as surely as Spring Break. After all, if there's a vacation, there ought to be souvenirs, and he knew of somepony who could really use the consolation.

Epilogue_________________________

"Hmm..." A quill danced briefly on a piece of paper, enveloped by a soft lavender glow. As the morning was getting late, the princess of the night, Luna, grew increasingly sleepy. No wonder that she would be even more tired than usual, seeing as raising both the moon and sun was hard work. It was not as bad as it could have been. With Rarity's help in convincing others of her innocence, she had found assistance from the unicorns of Canterlot and perhaps even made a few more friends. The thought of her dear sister having performed the great magic all on her own for a thousand years, by her own fault, made her sigh. Maybe it was a good thing that albeit accidentally, Celestia's burden had been temporarily lifted.

A sudden flash of heat above her head and getting hit by a falling rock interrupted the mare of the moon mid guilt-trip. Bonk. "-Ow!" She rubbed her hoof on her offended cranium, looking for the fallen object in the hopes that her subconscious was not stoning her for her crimes. Luna shone light from her horn, causing a glint to reveal its location. She levitated it toward her face and realized what it was, though how it had arrived was still a mystery. "Amber..." The hardened resin sparkled prettily in her magical aura. Within the honey-golden fossil was a pupal insect she doubted even Celestia would recognize. How many years does it take for these to form? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands, even?

She closed her eyes gently as the glow around both the amber and her horn increased. Opening her eyes suddenly made the entire room flash white for a moment; the pupa rose out of the amber, air sparkling as it hovered and the reanimation spell began to take effect, much like that which Luna had used on Nightmare Night to bring life to toy spiders. Unexpectedly, however, something seemed to be changing within the insect; slowly but surely, it crawled out of its own skin, pulling itself out one leg at a time... she could see now that it resembled some form of ancestral dragonfly, unfolding many pairs of wings like the leaves of a willow tree. Luna couldn't help but smile in fascination as it stretched them out to dry and take an iridescent sheen.

Carefully, the night princess let it down on the tip of her quill. The moment she released her levitation, the 'willow dragon' as she had dubbed it took off in surprise. It faltered, however, its wingbeat uncertain. Luna's face twisted in worry. Could it be that her spell had not worked? Was she after all unable to give it a chance to experience life? "No! You've got to fly!" She whispered under her breath, impulsively creating a magical breeze that lifted it far from the floor. It spun and twirled up in the current, suddenly regaining vigor. Its wings beat in sync with each other and it began to fly circles around the room on its own, gaining speed. Was it looking for an exit? Quickly, Luna rushed to the window and slammed it open, letting the sun into the room. However, the willow dragon came to rest a few seconds on the tip of the alicorn's snout. She could have sworn it looked at her before it took flight into the fresh new day, long tail whipping behind. Luna watched it as it disappeared in the direction of Everfree forest, leaning against the windowsill in contentment.

Even a relic could live and learn to fly in the present world. Perhaps there was more hope for her than she'd thought.