Rehab with Bright Colors

The inside of Salamack's tent somehow looked bigger than the outside. The floors were covered with a thick heavy carpet, and the center of the tent was left open while small tables no bigger than night stands were arranged in a huge semi circle. Two unicorns were waiting just inside the entrance and bowed deeply, before speaking something in a language Hex didn't understand.

Salamack removed what looked like a saber from his side with magic, undoing the holster as well before handing it over with Mark also giving his rifle over. The gryphons followed with a few small knives as well, but when Hex saw his brother removing his armor to reveal cloths underneath looked at the two of them.

"Tell me you guys have cloths on underneath the suits."

"You may be Hex's brother, but your balls haven't ever chaffed or sweat like ours have in these suits."

"We've got cloths in the back compartments Mark, but we need somewhere to change."

He did not like the way his brother was smiling at him, and after the two unicorns relieved them of their weapons (both of them filling up three cabinets together) they were led to a smaller tent. Mark merely held his hand out before going back inside the main tent, leaving Hex and Durge to look at each other in suspicion.

"Your brother comes off as a sneaky bastard."

"He's that and snarky too."

"You think we should do this?"

"He took his armor off, and he can use it to turn invisible... and I just proved the suit is as much of a weapon as any."

Hex went in first, followed closely by Durge to find what looked like a bathroom. There were storage cabinets along the walls and a huge tub of water but the plethora of mares occupying the tent and carrying out various tasks was what got to him. They stopped, bowed deeply, and promptly surrounded the two of them.

"Whoa whoa now! We can remove our armor without help thanks! I don't need moon butt catchin wind about somethin like this!"

What greeted them was the saddest looking puppy eyes either of them had ever seen. One particularly pitiful mare looked like she was on the verge of crying.

"Master Salamack will be angry with us if we didn't help his guests! Especially the brother of his son in law!"

"That sneaky bastard is going to land us in a mound of shit Hex."

"I know! I know! I probably shouldn't have punched him so hard."

"Fine. No funny business girls, we need to get going."

A chorus of giggles greeted them, and reluctantly they both started to shed their armor. All of the mares were earth ponies, and every single one of them was very... hooves on while the took chunks of their armor away to be stored in one of the cabinets. When both men were bare chested, they opened their back compartments and took out the regular cloths.

Since both were about the same size Durge was still borrowing some of the stuff Rarity had made for him, but as much as they wanted to bail the mares didn't give them any room to escape. It wasn't hard breaking down the rest of the armor and stepping onto the floor naked, but the women around them were making other things stiffen.

There was a lot of lip biting and more than a few sultry giggles as they were dressed, slowly, with teeth and hooves seeing as none of them had magic. Hex and Durge were used to the idea of having... relations with ponies after their days in literal purgatory, and there were a lot of very attractive ones surrounding them and brushing against them in terribly suggestive ways.

"OK THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT! THANK YOU LADIES GOODBYE!"

Durge actually beat Hex to the entrance as a loud "awwww" followed them out. They were carrying their boots and after adjusting their cloths (and themselves to prevent boner exposure) they walked back into the main tent. Mark was sitting with his unicorn wife laying across his lap, smiling like a kid with a new toy.

"That didn't take long."

"Have you not bedded a mare yet Hexus? Your brother was quite stubborn at first but he seems to enjoy a mares company quite a lot. My name is Kalia, please, sit with us and eat."

Slowly rising to her hooves she ushered them closer and seated them close by with Hex, Shiny, and Durge on one side of a small table, his brother and Salamack on the other side, and the gryphons separated by another small table occupying the left.

"It ain't that we don't like mares. Its just some of them are a bit on the... possessive side. Moon Butt doesn't fancy other mares."

The sound of Hex and Shiny slamming hand and hoof into their faces was followed immediately by laughter from the others gathered around, Surra passing the meat she had brought along down the line towards them before wheezing out a response.

"I didn't... think Luna was the adventurous type, but I can see how she might be the jealous and possessive kind. What about Hex and Shiny? I heard there was a female human here as well... are they the adventurous types?"

"Yep."

"Can you not put my laundry out into the streets Durge? I don't care about Shiny but at least ask me first."

"You're both shitty humans, and so what if I had a go at Minerva? Hex here has been winging threesomes for ages now."

"Those include your sister you sick bastard."

"Twilight's a grown mare, and besides... She said most of the time you were on bottom with Vinyl and her on top."

"It's a damn lie and I hate all of you."

Clapping sounded from their estranged group as they shared a laugh at Hex's expense. He was currently rubbing his face in fatigue and when offered both meat and a chilled glass of something alcoholic he took both with joy.

Salamack rang a very small bell at his side, and as music and singing drifted into the tent their entertainment had arrived. Vinyl showed him that ponies were capable of some pretty questionable and very personal dancing, but she was vastly out classed by the mares who came in. They danced like they had been born to walk on two hooves, and flowed with the music to sway back and forth. Nothing but shifting curves and silk, with the same little gold beads he remembered from the unicorn he ran into earlier that day.

"Mind telling me how you ended up getting married to a pony Markeith? For your sake I hope you have a damn good reason."

Kalia and her father smiled, and after gently nuzzling against him she spoke with a hint of amusement coloring her voice.

"Our culture is simple if not rigid Hexus. When the daughter of a powerful family is eligible, suitors are allowed to fight for her hand. The difference is these matches are to the death, and only the ones with status and courage can compete. This way it keeps the families from dealing with too many sons, and proves which among them is worth husbanding a family."

Hex had to keep himself from shivering as he watched his brother feed her a grape. Even if they were getting married the blatant display of sickening affection was a bit too much for him. Salamack continued where she left off.

"Imagine our surprise when a creature stepped out of the shadows to compete. While it is my decision on who is allowed to try for my daughters hand and who may not I decided to let him have a go. That very same day my countrymen brought me news of a death squad being formed in Equestria. One that was led by two very similar creatures."

It was hard for Hex to take all the information in with the distraction right in front of his eyes, and after letting the machine slip in to help clear his head he looked over to see Mark staring at him curiously as Salamack continued.

"I didn't think he would actually win against unicorns throwing magic at him, but your brother is.... highly proficient in the arts of combat. You are actually the only soul I've seen come close to ending his life Hexus, but it makes sense in the end. It was only after the other competitors were dispatched that I showed the letter to Markeith. More surprises still, seeing that you lead the men here."

"While I appreciate the explanation you'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit slow. It still doesn't answer my question."

Mark chuckled at the blank looks given by the father and daughter, and after taking a slow drink he explained himself.

"I'm in a land of talking ponies Hexus, with nothing to my name but some weapons and my training. An opportunity arises for me to embed myself in one of the most powerful families of the west. All that was standing in my way were a few wayward opponents who had no trouble trying to end my own life."

Hex took a long pull of his drink, thankful that whatever they were having had just the right amount of potency to ease his body even if the machine was staving off the buzz he wanted.

"Salamack, Kalia, try to understand it from my brother's point of view. Power never interested him, nor does the prospect of playing political games until he's old and dying. Subterfuge is not a game he will play, but he'll gladly meet you in war if you do share disagreements."

"I can understand why he wouldn't want to deal in those games husband, but you have proven yourself in combat as well. Which of you are more of a threat on the field?"

Hex did not like the way his bother smiled. It reminded him too much of the machine's blatant disregard for feeling.

"I am more dangerous in single combat Kalia, but my brother can train men to kill. If he can turn guards into killers, then imagine what he could do with some of our own soldiers. Those skulls are just for show, those ponies did not need them to prove a point, or secure a kill. Besides, I'm only better because I hold an advantage he can't use. An edge he doesn't know how to sharpen... yet."

His brother was playing games he could barely grasp, and with the lives and likely hood of quite a number of ponies if Salamack was as powerful as Mark had said. There was also the feeling that Mark was alluding to something a lot worse, and the feeling that he was holding something back from the group of people around them. With his finger tapping impatiently at his mug and his eyes closed in concentration he could only sigh deeply and hope for the best.

Something that did not happen as his train of thought was wrecked the moment he opened his eyes. In front of him was a set of lavender eyes that were very familiar, and the moment he opened his mouth to say something those eyes drew even closer. He felt something round pressed into his mouth, followed by a slick skilled tongue that promptly crushed the object on top of his tongue.

She drew away with a soft pant, turned back to the dancers in the center, and slipped back in seamlessly to the rhythm of the music. Hex could taste honey, strawberries, chocolate, and infuriatingly mint. There was whistling from both sides of him and when Kalia stopped giggling she answered the question on everyone's mind.

"My dearest friend, Lumia Florenseen. She loves to dance but I think you've irked her by not watching."

Her father smiled dangerously at him before speaking.

"I think she has other things in mind. The Florenseen family has been friends and allies for generations, and when my namesake took power they joined as my right hand. Problem is, her father passed away some months ago and the remaining blood relative that was male competed against Markeith. By rights she can pick any husband she wishes without a contest, seeing as she's the only heir to their name."

The sand witch he had met earlier was his bother's wife's best friend, she was heir to the right hand of the family his brother would be taking over, and could pick whatever dick she wanted. The witch just crushed a chocolate in his mouth with plenty of tongue, and his head gave a massive throb at the implications Salamack just slapped him with. If the two families had a merger through two weddings....

He did not need this shit right now, and then Mark made it worse.

"Don't mind Hex's face ponies, gryphons, and fellow human, he's just mad because Lumia stole all of his candies."

"You fucking asshat..."

Shiny suddenly looked up and laughed.

"That's why you've been looking butt hurt all day?! You owe me fifty Durge! He's been pissy over bucking candy this whole time."

"Holy fuck Hex... She stole your candies and you were broodin around the window like a killer lookin for prey."

Mark continued to dig his grave deeper before kicking him into it.

"You should have heard the shit he was saying down the road. Nothing but cursing and stomping all the way back to the castle after Lumia stole his chocolates."

Draining his cup to the roar of laughter around him Hex got to his feet and announced in the snootiest way possible that he was going outside for air. The peanut gallery all chorused boo's and laughs as he made his exit, taking what dignity he had left outside into the cool night air.