Rehab with Bright Colors

Warmth was the only thought that crossed Hex's mind as he slowly climbed out of the blessed blackness of sleep back into the waking world. He was warm, lying in a soft bed with an especially warm and soft pony sleeping against his chest that made it difficult to shake the grogginess from sleep away. Hugging the soft woman closer and leaning down to kiss the top of her head proved a much more sufficient way of waking him up though as he was reminded of a very pointed appendage jabbing him in the eye.

"Fuck my life that thing is dangerous."

Hex grumbled as he moved passed it to kiss her forehead, one eye open and awake while the other was squeezed closed from the stabbing pain. Vinyl murmured cutely in her sleep as her forelegs pawed gently at him until his hands ran through her mane and began rubbing her ears and messaging her head.

"mmmmmm stoppit Hex..... I wanna sleep...."

Regardless of her protests she was moving a lot closer to him and arching her back to press her head harder into his fingers. Quirking an eyebrow he smiled deviously before pulling her on top of him and started messaging her head in earnest. She started to wriggle quite a bit more while he worked on her ears, but the moment his fingers worked their way up to touch the base of her horn she let out a low moan.

His curiosity got the better of him as he kicked off the blanket to see just how her body was reacting to his treatment, and seeing her squirm with her tail flicking back and forth brought a wider grin to his face. Apparently it felt really good to have that part messaged, but what really made his eyes widen was when his fingers nimbly slid up and down her horn Vinyl's body shuttered and he felt something very wet course down his leg.

Low whimpers and moans filled the air as he kept assaulting the sensitive horn with rough strokes, scratching and rubbing behind her ears just to mix the pleasures together until he decided to lean forward to lick it from base to tip before using his canines to nip it at the base.

The moment his tongue touched her horn the ponies legs clenched down on him and just after he gave that little love bite a flood of liquid splattered his legs before a small explosion of blue light and sparks issued from her horn. Vinyl went limp against his body as she panted, and Hex's face adopted a look of horror as a thought crossed his mind.

"Oh god, I've been working a head penis this entire time..... Does this make me gay?!"

Vinyl nearly choked with how hard she started laughing, tears streamed down her eyes while her entire body shook with mirth.

"I'm going to tell everypony how good you are at stroking the head penis."

"Don't you do it Scratchy! No one would believe you anyways! You have nothing on me!"

She silenced him with deep kiss, and after a few moments and the taste of each others tongue she broke the contact with a pant.

"Relax lover boy. If I went around making you feel awkward you'd never do it again. By the way, is that all those wriggly little things are good for? Holding stuff and doing crazy erotic shit?"

"....... We do everything with our hands Scratchy, but the erotic stuff is more out of curiosity on my part. I don't think another human would try half the things we've done on the first night."

"If last night was just a practice run I'm going to break you in and share you with some other sexy friends....."

"Vinyl.... are you going to prostitute me out as a kinky money maker?"

"DUDE! Do you know how much rich weirdo's would pay to sex a freaky orgasm machine like you?!"

"Hello! My name is Hexus of the planet Cunt Destroyer in the Aphrodisiac Nebula! Let me show you the dance of my people!"

He playfully pushed the cackling pony off of him as he made his way into the bathroom to get cleaned up. Vinyl joined him after she could breath again but as he waded into the bath and started collecting soaps to wash in she pointed at the bottles before looking back at him.

"Uh.... Did you read what any of these soaps do?"

"......I'm an alien remember? Its freakin weird I can read the names but I have no idea what the brands do......."

"No wonder you smelled like hot sex. Ponies are sensitive to pheromones, and half of these soaps amplify them."

"So your saying I walked around yesterday smelling like sweaty sex? That's disgusting on whole new levels."

"Nah dude, since you took a little of everything you just smelled like flowers.... Really, really, sexy, I'm in the mood to buck and drill like crazy, kind of flowers."

"....so.... which ones should I use?"

"..........all of them........."

"......"

"Come on! It'll be hilarious to watch ponies sniff you! We've already bucked so it's not going to effect me that badly! Why not see who else is in the market for something new and kinky?!"

"You are a freak Vinyl, I'm glad we're friends."

"Friends with bucking privileges are the bestest of friends. Which reminds me, looking for some return for that wake up call?"

While the gestures she made were tempting Hex shook his head as he started to wash himself down. "I'm still in shock about the head penis..... It'll probably ware off later......"

Once more laughing her ass off at his expense they both finished up and to Hex's delight there was even new tooth brushes for himself and Vinyl. Retrieving his cloths from yesterday he was relieved to find them unsoiled, and how he managed to get them out of the bar still clean without being drenched in booze or otherwise was beyond his comprehension.

When both were ready to go Hex froze when Vinyl opened the door to find a male and a female guard waiting for them, beet red, and looking nervously at him. Smiling evilly at the ponies in front of him he lunged forward to wrap his arms around their necks before whispering sensually.

"Funny thing about my kind. We can remember faces for the rest of our lives with just one look. It would be a shame if news spread about what happened in the privacy of my room. I would be tempted to find those lying bastards and show them how my kind can torture a soul in..... that department for days on end."

Both quivered and nodded their heads enthusiastically before Hex smirked.

"Terrible way to go you see.... Being held at the edge of bliss for so long the moment you peak the poor victim's heart just can't take the strain and stops beating..... Awful way to go when you think about it."

"PRI....PRINCESS CELESTIA WOULD LIKE YOU TO JOIN HE FOR BREAKFAST SIR......"

With a brisk pace set and the guards more than happy to lead the way and then flee for their lives Vinyl whispered loud enough for him to hear but not the poor guards in front of him.

"Question guy, does your barn door swing both ways?"

"Hell no it doesn't, but that guy doesn't know that does he? I just kinda went off the theory that you might have homophobes on this planet too."

"Ugh... that's a problem with your kind too?"

"Too each his own in my opinion, but why the fuck not use it to make people awkward and uncomfortable?"

"You're a bad bad stallion Hex."

As they entered into the same banqueting area as yesterday with the exception of the table filled with breakfast delicacies and servant ponies wondering about attending them Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight were all seated and eating when Shining Armor walked in through a different set of doors with a neat stack of papers floating beside him. While Vinyl and himself found a place to sit Hex could swear Shiny was looking pretty damn nervous this morning for some reason....

His suspicions were confirmed when Luna took a dainty sip of her tea before looking dead at him with nothing but flowers and sunshine. "Why good morning Flank Shot. I trust you've had enough rest after last nights.... adventures?"

Cadence and Twilight nearly choked on their food as Celestia looked at him with a quirky smile and an arched eyebrow.

"Where pray tell.... did you get such a unique nickname for Mr. Hexus Luna?"

"My goodness sister! I thought you would have gotten the night report from Shining by now, but I'd be glad to give it myself."

Oh you dirty, filthy, sneaky moon pony.

"Well sister, after you and Twilight retired for the evening I began my nightly rounds when a very.... interesting situation arose. It seems that Hexus had taken a bit of his stipend to explore Canterlot last night with some..... varying results."

Taking another dainty sip of her tea Hex took a long drag of the black coffee in front of him before attempting to curb the situation.

"After being cooped up inside of the suit for a while it felt right walking around without the clunky thing for a bit. Since Canterlot is going to be my new home I thought I'd take a look around."

This time he saw Luna smirk, and the damn moon pony wasn't going to let him off that easily.

"That might have been the case if Sir Hexus had not stopped at a.... bar of some ill repute. It seems our new guest was so charismatic that the ponies visiting the establishment caused some damages to the building in their revels. Surprisingly though, the owner wanted me to thank you personally for a night he would never forget. With the bits you brought in he has bought the entire building out and is turning it into a large club. The stallion has seen it fit to name the new establishment "Four Seasons : Home of the Flank Shot"

With every pony face hoofing and Hex studiously ignoring them as he enjoyed some delicious eggs and fried baby potatoes Celestia sighed heavily before speaking.

"I know I will regret asking this for many months to come... But why did the stallion feel it necessary to include Flank Shot in the name?"

"Well my sister.... It seems that Sir Hex was so charismatic, the noise drew of the attention of two off duty guards heading back to the castle. The party goers were then convinced to lift them into the air and carry them to the bar. While being transported Sir Hex had then convinced two mares to balance a shot of potent alcohol on their flanks as they bent over the bar. The guards had no choice but to take the shots and then kiss the mares flanks afterwards."

"In my defense I didn't tell them to kiss their flanks. They did that on their own accord."

"There is also a.... rumor spreading across Canterlot after the events of last night. Apparently the new creature under royal protection is a species of such.... provocative natures that reading or tampering with their minds would cause a pony to succumb to a life of sin and pleasure seeking."

Poor Twilight was covering her face with both hooves as her she flushed red, Cadence unable to stand it any more was laughing quietly behind her hooves and Celestia was actually smiling. Luna merely smiled before commenting

"Quite impressive for the first night in Equestria."

When Cadence had gathered enough of her self to speak she smiled at Celestia.

"Well.... At least the populace won't view him as being a dangerous creature to be feared."

Celestia took one more calming breath before speaking.

"I was considering the draw backs of having you here in the capital Hexus due to your unique situation, but seeing the.... reputation you've built in a single night I don't believe it would benefit you to stay in such a large city."

With a pause of consideration she smiled as an idea began to form in her mind.

"Miss Vinyl Scratch? I do believe you live in Ponyville as well as my student Twilight?"

"Uh.... yeah that's right princess. I was here to pick up some equipment."

"Mr. Hexus, I do believe that it would benefit you greatly to live in a smaller more rural town while you get used to your new life here. Twilight and the other elements of harmony should be more than sufficient to help you make adjustments, and with miss Vinyl in the same town you won't be isolated from the first friend you made here."

While his normal mind was reeling by how easy he had gotten off for last nights antics, along with the shocked look from Luna making the deal all the more sweeter the machine promptly pointed out that this situation was manufactured. It fell into place too snugly, but it did also point out that because of what he had done last night there was no backing out without serious rebuttal.

"I'd be happy to live in a quaint little town. I do prefer the countryside over the big city."

"I'm pleased to hear it Mr. Hexus."