Standing from afar I watched her, her radiance alone would devour me in flames of lustful agony. With elegance and authority she held her self up high, to high for me to reach. In the shadows is where I stayed, places that shunned what she was and what that was meant a short life of pain. I could not stand in her world, brilliant and glorious, and she would not come to mine, pitiful and black. In her world she was guarded by wrath that held all it's contempt for me. All I could do was watch, tracing her body with damned eyes, and sometimes she would snap me quick flirting glances, torturing me with those pale magenta eyes. I would groan in mournful tension, longing for what I could never have, as she would pass by me suddenly and brush against me, soft delicate coat rubbing against my skin that would claw for more. At these moments her smell would fill me head, sweet yet spicy vanilla that wrapped around my mind like a vice of pleasurable suffering. The soft steps she would take as she thought she snuck up behind me unheard but I could hear every teasing tap of her hoof. She would then whisper in my ears, her breath burning my skin and the smell creeping over my mind like always, whispers of sweet moments together. Moments that would never come to be, she only told me to leave me shaking in desire and to wake in sweat from delicious nightmares.
My body would pull to her but my mind would stop it, to fight a losing battle of passion, to her it was some game. A game of forbidden fruit that moved out of reach each time I went to grasp it, a game that left me pounding the walls in the dark with tears that scared. I would bite into my own flesh to forget these needs of velvet warmth but it never last long. I left scars on my self so that I would not leave them on her because she was flawless and meant to stay that way, not to be tainted by the filth of my being. I longed to trace the out line of her body, to hold the ever flowing mane that she would swirl around me to wrap me in blissful grief. Her voice, one of an angelic devil, would send the warmth I once felt into the core of a cold heart that sat in my chest. She would wait for me to watch her from the shadows and sing songs of lovers entwined.
They would call me a monster but she is the one they should call a monster, playing with the corrupted being that I am. She is the one they love and praise, falling to their knees as she passes. All held her with high respect and would worship the ground she walks. But don't I do the same? I walk the halls and the stallions give me looks of scorn, mares hide their children, and foals cry in fear. All but her and her sister would walk the other way and refuse to make contact of any kind. I could handle the loneliness but when she offers me company and when I move for the attention I desperately crave she pulls it away, it is enough to crush the soul I once had. Over and over and over... and yet I still fall for her tricks, her games, and her lies. I know that I am pathetic but what else am I to do? With out her grinding away the sanity I had I would become berserk. Her false love stops me from becoming the animal locked away inside me.
She had said I did not belong to her, and yet she demands and controls my every being, that her sister is who I should seek. She kind and gentle but is a sorrowful reminder of what I truly belong to, I could never love that which is the embodiment of what calls me child. Her sister see what she does to me, the hollow shell she leaves after she has been amused, she wishes to comfort me. But I can not stand the touch of anyone else, it would feel like a lie.
I crave the poison, the object of my demise, that which holds me at arms length and spits in my face. I want the warmth of being set on fire and the taste of ash. I want to feel the bite of the whip she holds at me and the sting of the dagger in her eyes. I want to hear screeching yells of disgusted hate from her lips that she brushes against mine but never allowing me to push against them. I need... no want her to do this all to me even if it was just to use me like she does.
Today, the brightest day of the year with the sun high at noon, was the day in which I would finally fight for what I want. She could scream, kick, bite, and scratch but nothing would keep me from what belongs to me. I leave trails of blood as I walk down the halls but I don’t know if it's mine or not. She pushed and pulled me to the point I finally broke, I don’t know how to separate morals any more as heavy thuds sound around me. She did this to me, turned me into what I truly was with her simple gestures and words that caused dreadful longing in me.
She stands on a balcony high above her subjects as she takes in the glow of their praise. The sun hang at noon and brighter then any other day, even behind these walls I can feel the disdain it has for me. But not even it will stop me because now I stand in the shadows before the balcony with her back to me. I then walk out to end all her false hope and love.
To any other the sun is pleasant as it shines down on them but to me it is harsh like the whispers she passes to me. There is no wind but I am buffeted by the rays of scorching hate. I slowly make my way to her until she finally turns around to find the source of agonized moans like the ones she pulls from me. I could see the fear in her eyes, hear her heart race, taste the tension on her skin in the air, smell the blood of who's I do not know, and feel the terror of her mind. It is to much for me to handle and I fall to the ground.
Leaving the sight of her subjects she comes to me as I crumble to pieces, I don’t feel any thing any more. She uses the body and wings she once used to tease me now to save me but it is no use. No clothing, no body, nothing can protect me but the walls that confined me under a roof. Time as slowed to a crawl as the sun glares wickedly behind her. I have her now.
Tears run down her eyes as she yells for something but I can not hear any more. Eyes that once taunt me now plead for my life, the body that once crept out my grasp now stands above to protect me. It doesn't matter now, no matter how many tears fall onto my face and fall through and no matter how many words spoken for forgiveness that go unheard are said.
She leans close to me and now I get what I craved for so long. A kiss. I push my cracked lips against her soft, full lips and kiss her deeply. The heat from her lips runs down my mouth and down my throat and set me on fire on the inside. As she pulls away I still burn and she still cries. I bring my hand up to the face that haunt my dreams and stroke my fingers along the side but they crumble away as I do. Until finally... Darkness, it is all there is just as I had came into this world and now leave it. Tears run down the face of beautiful demon. Ashes float away in a non-existent wind.
