A Life Behind the Door

by Rainbow Blitzer

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Dark, Human, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 5570

One life changes in a terrifying way just by opening a door.

The love of your life, the pony you loved most in this world, is gone. Through tears and screams your world comes crashing down on top of you as you hold your love. Your worst fear has come true, and what's worse, is you did it to her.

Published 2013-07-31 01:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-06 00:38:12 UTC

The Life Behind a Door

The Life Behind A Door

I looked at the door and my vision blurred for a moment. When my vision came back a few seconds later, I was looking down. My hands were out in front of me. I noticed something on my hands. They were red. “Wait a minute. This is blood. Why is there blood on my hands?” I asked myself. I could see something that was under my hands. I moved my hands out of the way and what I saw caused me to drop to my knees, my heart broke. It was Rainbow Dash and she was covered in blood. The same blood that is on my hands.

“No. No. No. No. Rainbow Dash!” I exclaimed. I picked up Rainbow Dash and pulled her close. She just laid there in limply in my arms. “No. Please wake up. Please don’t leave me!” I yelled out. I killed her. How could I have killed her? I was just looking at a door a second ago. What happened? Tears came to my eyes. How could I have done this to her. We loved each other so very much. My tears started falling down onto her back as I pulled her even closer into a hug. Rocking back and forth on the ground. “Rainbow I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. You didn’t deserve this. You loved me. A monster. I have become a monster. Evil. A killer” I said to her then buried my face into her.
I said to her, “I am so sorry” but was muffled from her blood stained coat, it was covering me in her blood as I hugged her. I couldn't do anything more than just hold her while rocking back and forth while crying. I cried while ponies had gathered around with shocked looks on their faces. I cried and I cried. My eyes had become very red by the time the royal guards came. They tried to get Rainbow Dash away from me, but I didn’t relinquish her. I couldn’t let go. My mind wouldn’t let go of the pony who loved me, the pony I had betrayed and murdered.

Murdered. That’s what I did but I still couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it yet here it is right in front me. My love murdered by my own hands. Her death on my hands. I looked up at the guard. He had a look of disgust at me. He turned around and bowed as Princess Celestia came to him.

“He won’t let go of her, and we can’t move him until he does” I heard the Royal Guard say.
“We need to get this cleared up quickly for the ponies here. You’ll need to knock him out” I unmistakably heard come from Princess Celestia. However, I couldn’t even get a single thought to go through my head before it went all black.

"How could you have done it?” an unknown voice asked me. The first thing I noticed was that my hands are cuffed behind me. I still couldn’t really see with my vision blurred. Even though I couldn’t see very well, I saw the unmistakable Princess Celestia here. The color and flowing mane was extremely distinguishable that even blurred you could tell who it was. “ Out of the thousands of years of ruling, there was never any murder. It’s heartbreaking to see it happen. It saddens me that you would just throw away Rainbow Dash’s life. She loved you. I trusted you when you were brought into this world, and you betrayed Rainbow Dash, you betrayed me, you betrayed everypony here!” Celestia stomped her hoof on the ground as she yelled that. I broke down. I started crying.

“No, no, no, no, no. It wasn’t me. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. I loved her too much to do that. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it” I said shaking my head left and right while crying.

“How could someone be so quick to do that?” Princess Celestia asked me with much sadness. She couldn’t even look at me. Having gained enough of my vision back to see outlines.
“I don’t know what happened. I opened a door and the next thing I know, I was looking at my hands with Rainbow Dash under me” I replied to her.

“I don’t know what I should do. We haven’t had this before. We never even needed to use the dungeon. The only thing I can do is keep you in the dungeon and have guards stationed in the dungeon” Princess Celestia told me with much sadness in her voice. I had gained all my vision back and I could not only see tears in her eyes, but tremendous sadness in them as well. “I saw Rainbow Dash and you love each other as much as Cadence and Shining Armor. You danced with her at the wedding and announced to the world that you two were in love” Princess Celestia turned away

“I...I... wish I could go back to that.” I replied recovering from crying. Neither Celestia or I was looking at each other. I took this time to look around the room. It was pretty dark, the only light coming from Celestia’s horn. The back wall was of rock that must be natural, and the two sides were of bricks. Behind Celestia, were bars. I am in a jail cell I thought to myself. There wasn’t anything else in the room other than a small wooden bed. The bed was very small for me.

“I will be back later to talk with you” Princess Celestia said leaving the cell, closing, and locking the door on her way out. The light slowly dissipated till it was completely dark in here. I went over to the bed and laid down staring up at the ceiling. I moved my handcuffed hands to the front of my body by going under my feet. Darkness was the only thing around me. I only had my thoughts to keep me company, but the only thoughts I had were about Rainbow Dash, or about what Princess Celestia told me.

I miss you Rainbow Dash. I can’t apologize enough for what I did, even though I can’t bring you back. I wish you were here keeping me company. Being the light in this dark tunnel. I wish I could go back and change it. Go back to before I killed you. I can’t even remember doing it. Why can’t I remember!? My conscious slowly disappeared as I fell into sleep.
Princess Cadence and Shining Armor had just left after Candence threw the flowers, and Rarity grabbed them up. I went over to Vinyl Scratch and asked her to play the song that Princess Cadence and Shining Armor had danced together alone, before everyone else joined. She said she would and started playing it. I walked over to Rainbow Dash in her dress, and asked her if she would like to dance. “Yes” she had replied. We walked over to the ring that Cadence and Shining armor had danced just a few minutes ago.

I reached out my arm and Rainbow put her hoof in my hand. We just danced and looked into each other eyes. The world had seem to disappear. It felt like it was just Rainbow Dash and I. The only thing we could hear was each other’s breathing. We danced for an eternity. Black was all around us, with only us lite up. Time had no meaning as we stayed looking into each other’s eyes. I had gotten lost in the movements of the dance and the love in her eyes. The music had stopped but the dance hadn’t ended. We didn’t plan on it ending anytime soon. I couldn’t tell if people had joined or not in the dance as we lost ourselves. Our bodies eventually were unable to keep up, as they grew tired from the non-stop dancing. I hugged her when we had to stop and reached up and pulled the ponytail out. “You look beautiful and your hair just the way you always have it is just that much more beautiful” I told her. I could have sworn I saw her blush at that, but wasn’t positive. Things like that are hard to come by with Rainbow Dash. Both Rainbow and I saw out of the corner of our eye, Twilight walking to us.

“Are you two together?”

Rainbow Dash piped up first, “We are each others special somepony.” Rainbow Dash looked proud as she had said that. Well she definitely shows her personality on everything I thought. It made me grin as that is one of the reasons I love her. I hugged Rainbow Dash and whispered in her ear, “Thank you Rainbow.” She looked at me, and then proceeded to kiss me. I woke up due to a very rough nudge. I looked up and saw a Royal Guard. He looked disgusted with me. His horn was providing the only light in here. The light was hurting my eyes and I shielded my face with my handcuffed hands. “The princess will be talking to you in a few short moments” The Royal Guard said, walking out afterwards. The darkness very quickly came back as his light disappeared. Surrounded in darkness again. The darkness that never goes away. I found a rock on the ground, and I wanted to see something. I started scratching at the wall and it was cutting it. I can draw a picture with this. I had only just started scratching when the wall was lit up. Turning around I saw Princess Celestia.

“I had thought about this all day. I still can not understand why it was done. Why you killed her with your own hands. Why you thought the idea was a good idea. Setting aside that you killed the Element of Loyalty. You killed the pony who loved you. You fooled us all in thinking that you loved her!” Celestia yelled the last sentence at me. Her mane and tail whipping furiously as if they too were angry with me.

“I... I...” tears came to my eyes as I couldn’t speak from what Celestia said. I did love her. I loved her with all my heart. That day we danced was the happiest moment of my life.

“I saw a pony who was loyal to her friends! Who tried her best to be the best! Who tried her hardest to become a Wonderbolt! Who loved you with all her soul! This is how you repay her!” I couldn’t stand or sit as she was using a volume of her voice I haven’t heard anypony other than Luna use. However, it was louder than Luna’s voice. Much, much louder. Her Tiara had fallen on the ground while she was yelling. It made it’s final land by me. I couldn't look up at Celestia. I just stared down at Celestia’s tiara, the purple gemstone in the middle, I couldn't take my eyes off it. I could see myself in the gemstone but it was distorted. It looked like a monster. Something from your worst nightmare. The reflection was of me though. I was that monster in the gemstone. I looked at my hands. The hands that had her blood on them. I didn't want to believe that I did it, but everyone kept saying I did, and the facts also pointed to me. Oh please Celestia don’t let it be me. I reached for the monster on that gemstone, but before I could reach it, it glowed yellow and was lifted out of my reach as Celestia took it. That caused me to snap out of my trance and it was me.

“I wish she was still here.” I said out to Celestia tears still in my eyes.

“Well you ruined that now didn't you.” Celestia said to me while walking out of the cell, closing the door as she finished. I sat up with my back against the wall. I cried unable to move even when the same darkness crept up on me again. I wasn't able to shed tears for very long even though it felt like I did for a while. I finally gathered myself, and using my hands, I felt for the rock on the bed. After careful swipes back and forth across the bed I had found it. Using my other hand I felt the wall until I came across the scratches from before. I started to carve her out on the wall. I used my one hand to feel what I needed to do, and what I have done. I used the other to make the cuts into the wall. I had gained many cuts from just the little I had so far accomplished. My hand hurt from all the cuts I had gained. I had to stop working on it, but I will finish it.

“May Celestia see this, this piece of art as my only way of reminding every pony of a better time. Remind them of an amazing pony. My apology to them for the tragedy I caused. My apology to Rainbow for what I did!” I yelled out to no pony in particular. I was all alone in here. I sat down on the ground, blood dripping down my hand and on to the ground. I couldn't fight against sleep. My body was taken over by it. I dreamed the same dream I had last time. Everything happened the same way as it did on that night of the dance. The dance of love. Every emotion that I had felt during that day came back as if it was happening right now. However, it ended at exactly the same point. This time however, the dream changed. It was the death of Rainbow. It started with me looking at my hands. It played out I was rocking back and forth with her all the way to what Princess Celestia had said.

Upon the blacking out I had woke up screaming and sitting up, “RAINBOW DASH!” I had ended up on laying on the floor at some time during one of the two dreams I had. The blood had stopped coming out of the cuts in my hand, but it was on my torso. Sweat was pouring down my face and it felt like my whole body was sweating all at once. I could barely see light to the right of my cell, as faint as it was. I could also hear a sound. Clip clop, clip clop. The only noise that was made other than my breathing. The light got brighter. The sound got louder, till the light got blinding and the sound became deafening. I couldn't see anymore as I had to cover my face again from the light. I heard the cell door open and a pony come in. I wonder if it is Princess Celestia coming to talk to me again, or if it is a Royal Guard coming in for some reason.

“What happened in here? There is blood on the floor, and it is on your hand. Were you attacked? I had heard screaming from down here. I was unable to make it out what was said” the Royal Guard pony said

“I thought you guards didn't care? I have seen your disgusted looks you give me.” I asked the Royal Guard pony.

“It is my royal duty give to me by the Princess that you must be protected. As the Princess’s Royal Guard I will follow and do my duty. Whether I like it or not is of no importance” the Royal Guard pony said with his head up and eyes straight.

“Professional for everything you do huh?” I asked him.

“Yeah. Keeps us from murdering ponies” he said to me without any emotion. It struck me hard. I felt like I just got rammed. It was a good thing I was sitting as I wouldn't be standing anymore from that.

“Why? Why would you say that?” I asked him while trembling. He just walked out of the cell and out of sight. Including the light from his horn. I still couldn't move, still couldn't breathe very well. A sentence had done more damage to me physically than any hit I have taken. My hand went up to my chest to hold against a pain that left no marks, did no damage, but it was a pain that hurt more than any other. My hands was trembling while I held it against my chest. My whole body was also still trembling from that sentence. I was breathing short, and hard breaths and it was the only sound that could be heard. He’s right Rainbow. If I would have been more like him you would still be alive. I promise I will finish this art as an apology, a terrible apology but one nonetheless. May you be remember for the great pony you are. I grabbed the rock off the bed and I felt around the rock till I felt a cut against my hand. I know that’s where I started. It was hard doing it with my hands still handcuffed. I was determined to finish her snout. I felt forward and got a feel of what I needed to do for the top part of her snout. I cut forward making sure I didn’t go too far forward with my other hand. I felt what I had done to make sure it is good. I gained quite a few cuts from it and my hand was starting to bleed again. I worked around eventually finishing the snout. I couldn't feel my hand anymore. The blood from all my cuts ran into one area creating a stream as it poured down. I had been so focused on the making Rainbow in the wall that I didn't notice someone was coming until the whole cell was light up. I covered my eyes and turned around. I couldn't see who it was but I knew exactly who it was from the voice. The blood started to run down my arm, falling to the ground after it came to my elbow.

“Your Hand! What happened!?” Princess Celestia asked me with concern. I guess even with what I did, she still looks after everyone and cares about their safety. She doesn't deserve having to go through this as much as Rainbow didn’t deserve any of this. They’re both too good of ponies for crimes to happen in Equestria. Especially ones that take the life of a pony. “Come with me” Celestia said using her magic to drag me forward by the hand cuffs. We walked down many hallways till we got to a Hospital area in the Castle. “Sit down” The princess demanded, sitting me down on the chair. The nurses went to work on my hand. “How bad is it?” The princess asked the nurses.

“He lost quite a bit of blood but not enough to be in any real danger. He would have been if you didn’t get him here” one of the nurses told Celestia, before bowing and returning back to work.

“I’m going to go get someone to clean the blood” the princess said, and left after she did. The nurses had my hand this way and that way. They looked at it, putting pressure on my hand, stemming the bleeding. They went to work on sterilizing the wound, which was no easy task considering what caused it. Princess Celestia came back and asked me, “What happened to cause all this blood?”

“I’ll show you when we go back to the cell” I told her. A thought came across my mind and I couldn’t help but grin at it.

“You are very jolly for what’s happening” one of the nurses said catching my grin. Princess Celestia stared intently at me.

“It was just something Rainbow Dash told me once during the many times that I just watched her fly. She said to me, “I’m like a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.” I sang her song because of that saying” I had to adjust from the nurses pulling my hand in a painful way. “Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand. I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me. Take me out to the black. Tell them I ain't comin' back. Burn the land and boil the sea. You can't take the sky from me. Leave the men where they lay. They'll never see another day. Lost my soul, lost my dream. You can't take the sky from me. I feel the black reaching out. I hear its song without a doubt. I still hear and I still see That you can't take the sky from me. Lost my love, lost my land. Lost the last place I could stand. There's no place I can be. Since I've found Serenity. And you can't take the sky from me.”

“That is beautiful” Celestia said at an almost whisper. I looked over at her and there were tears in her eyes. I smiled at her.

“I am glad that you like it. It was a song I use to hear back in my world” I told her. “It was a song that I sang to Rainbow many times. She had always loved that song, from when she first heard me sang it.” The nurses had finished with my hand. Princess Celestia escorted me out of there by using magic on my handcuffs again. We didn’t say a word while we walked back to my cell. Princess Celestia and I didn't even say a word when we got back to my cell. She just closed the door and left. I have grown quite accustomed to the darkness. Good thing I have because I am going to be in darkness for the rest of my life. It allows me to be alone with my thoughts about her. About Rainbow Dash. Sleepiness crept up on me very quickly, and I trudged my way over to the bed and laid down. I took the rock and placed it under my bed so I wouldn’t lose it. Closing my eyes I had that same dream of Rainbow Dash's death.

~~~~~A Few Decades Later~~~~~

I opened my eyes. I now have a pretty long and full beard, with some gray in it. My hair has become the same way, and it was unkempt. My age was fifty. Three decades has gone by. I don't have a very good eyesight than when I did when I was younger. Before I killed her. Being in the darkness has caused this. The only thing that kept me from losing eyesight completely was Princess Celestia, and the Royal Guard ponies. I had the same dream. Well technically two but one led to the other while I slept. They were always the same. The dance I had with Rainbow Dash that changed to her dying by my hands. I had worked on the Rainbow Dash carving. I am about halfway done with it. Everyday I would cut up my hand from the rock and I would be taken to the nurses for them to heal my hand and wrap it up. I figured that I cut all the nerves in my hand because I can't feel the cuts anymore. I could see the light growing bigger, but I could never differentiate the sound of Princess Celestia's hoof steps and a Royal Guard's hoof steps. The light got bright like it usually does and every time I had to cover my eyes.

“I came to talk to you” said Princess Celestia. I knew it was her by the voice. “There are two things I need to talk to you about. First one is that my sister wants to come talk to you, so treat her with utmost respect." I nodded at that. “Second is that this really pains me. You murdering Rainbow Dash, and you being here in this prison in torment. What you did was inexcusable but with my love of all my subjects it still pains me to see this go on by my hooves even though this must be done." I could see sadness in her eyes from her speaking it.

"Celestia I am really sorry you are going through this pain I caused. You are a great ruler and with Luna I know that together your rule will be even better. You don't deserve any of this" I said to her.

"I want to believe you. I really do but I don't think I can" Princess Celestia said with tears nearly falling down. She turned and left out the door. Before she went out of sight she said, "My sister will be here soon." She was gone after that. Her hoof steps getting even quieter and quieter. I sat down and looked at my handcuffs. It amazed me that at least my guess that they were intended to be used for hooves but worked just as well on hands. It didn't take long before I started to daydream. I started to daydream about what Luna wanted to talk to me about. Soon though it turned into being free and outside. No more walls. No more handcuffs. Freedom to do things. However that quickly brought me to daydream about Rainbow Dash. Here beautiful mane. Her spectacular attitude. The dream was cut short by hoof steps. I could see light but this light was darker. It wasn't so bright that I couldn't see. Must be Princess Luna. I was right when Princess Luna rounded the corner and opened up the door.

"Hello Princess Luna" I greeted her. I tried to wave but the handcuffs made it hard without waving without using both hands.

"We greet thee" Luna replied to me. She sat down which surprised me. "We understand that thou hast slain another pony" she said calmly.
I looked away from her. "I did. I don't know how I did but it was the biggest mistake I have ever made" I replied while looking away. I looked back at her as she talked.

"We see much sadness in thy eyes. Though we do not know if thy sadness is by thy crime or thy victim. We hope for thy sake that is was the second reason" Luna told me.

"It's the second reason. I promise, but no pony believes me." I pointed at the wall where I was craving Rainbow Dash on. "I go through pain to make that. Mental and physical pain" I said to her while unwrapping the bandages on my hand. The cuts weren't bleeding, but they were still new. I could see a look of understanding from Princess Luna, as she realized it was the second reason.

"Very well. We believe thee. Sadly, we can not help thee, but know that thou art not alone" she assured me bowing afterwards. I was taken back but quickly came to and bowed before her. I watched her leave and was happy for once. There was a pony who actually believes me. Thank you Luna.

I grabbed the rock I used to carve in the wall. It seemed simple. It was flat and it was rounded on the sides. The tip was almost a point but it was slightly rounded. The thing that made the rock capable of cutting the wall was the the small but sharp ridges that were near the top and at the top. My first one had dulled a long time ago. They last for awhile but not forever. Takes about a month use before it's too dull to cut with. Celestia had found out after a week of doing this and now brings a rock just like it every month. We talk when she does for a while. I went back to carving Rainbow Dash out of the wall.

~~~~Some Decades later~~~~

Ninety years old and death was quickly approaching me. I could feel it. My hair was white. Anywhere on my body that has hair was white. My beard and mustache made me look like Santa Claus. I had finished the carving yesterday. I ran my hand across it and I didn't get cut. I finished carving her out and then removing the sharp edges. My whole body hurt but I don’t care. I deserve it but more than that I deserve to die the same way I killed Rainbow Dash but I still can't remember how she died. I don't know why I can't remember it but I accepted the fact that I killed her. I am still haunted by the one dream I have when I go to bed.

I have been tired a lot. Must have came from my age. I looked over at the rock on the bed. Slowly I made my way there. It took a minute to make it across the room but I made it there eventually. I picked up the rock and looked at it. "Guard! You might want to get Celestia." Torment finally comes to an end. I lived to the end of my life and I will be murdered .
I plunged the rock as quick and as hard as I could. Being thin enough it went between my ribs and into my heart. I opened my mouth to scream from the pain, but nothing came out. Blood quickly spilled out onto my hands and down onto the floor. I collapse to my knees, my hands shaking and I let go of the rock. Sleep was quickly coming as I clutch my wound and propped myself up against the wall. I could faintly hear hoof steps and the cell door opening.
My vision was getting blurry by the second but I could make out that it was Celestia in front of me for only a second before sight went away. Perhaps I will be granted to at least see Rainbow Dash. My eyes closed and I took one last ragged breath.

Closure

Closure

A man who inflicts suffering can not rest. His guilty mind won't allow it. But today I can finally close my eyes to the living nightmare and lay down, knowing that I won't wake again.

I came back to reality opening my eyes. The realization of what happened all came to me at once. "RAINBOW!" I yelled as I sat up.

"She's right here" came from a voice to my left. I looked over and saw a purple unicorn with a purple mane and a pink streak in it. I smiled as I saw Twilight Sparkle. Next to her was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and a worried look on her face. "She never left your side" Twilight told me. I grinned really big at seeing her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You had a nightmare from opening the door. We tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't wake up. We brought you here, and you were out for three days. Rainbow never left your side" Twilight told me.

"Thank you Rainbow" I happily told her. I picked her up while in the hospital bed and hugged her. I looked at Twilight, “Wait how do you know I had a nightmare?” I asked with uncertainty on my face.
“Well, you opened the Nightmare Door. It’s a door that brings about our worst nightmares. I know because I had done it before. Although, I was never out that long, only about fifteen to twenty seconds. How was it? What was your nightmare about?” Twilight inquired, very intrigued about what it was like. The Doc came in at that moment.

“Oh I see you are a wake. Let me do a check up, and make sure everything is alright, then you are good to go. Should only take an hour.” The Doc said and walked back out afterwards.I kept hugging Rainbow Dash, while she hugged me back. Our heads were next together, and my hands rubbed her back, feeling her soft coat. I told the story, hugging Rainbow Dash tight. Rainbow Dash was hugging back tighter, and Twilight Sparkle’s mouth was open as they listened to my Nightmare. After it end the Doctor came back.

“Alright everything checks good, and you're good to go.” The Doc said giving a smile then walking back out.

“Alright. I can’t wait to get out of this place. Too cramped, right Rainbow?” I said really wanting to get out of here, and outside.

“Yeah. Most definitely. The sooner the better, or you might get lazy thing the doctor said before.” Rainbow Dash replied.

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes and corrected Rainbow Dash, “Lazyitis.”

I giggled, “Yeah let’s not get that. There is something I really want to do, especially after that dream” I replied remembering back to the Nightmare I had shuddering a little.

“What’s that?” They both asked in unison. Twilight Sparkle being her normal curious self. Rainbow Dash and I were always curious about what the other one was doing.

“I think that you and I Rainbow, should have that dance again.” Rainbow Dash nodded, and we both head out to the same place as before.