Hot chocolate

I've seen things no man should, I've been killed in ways that would make most men cry in their sleep.

But this...I can honestly say I've no experience in, a woman, slightly shorter than I am was standing before me with a dazzling smile on her face. She, for all intents and reasons looked like a clone of me, which is funny because I'm in a clone body...anyway. At a solid seven foot she was a couple of inches shorter than me with caramel coloured skin, shoulder length brown hair framing her face, and big brown eyes that were currently staring into the depths of my...well I'm not sure if I have a soul but you get the picture. Her body, while curvy sporting a sizeable E cup and an expansive rear, held a lot of power as I learned when she stepped forward to wrap herself around me. One thing I most likely should have noticed earlier was that she was wearing the republic patented Minmatar assault suit, which I swear is perfectly designed to hug the rears of our female solders. (seriously even in game the female Minmatar assault have some nice asses, new Eden's version of black people I guess haha.)

"Are you ok darling?" Big doe like eyes looked up at me and I could only think one thing....Lyra's gonna fuckin kill me.

"Any time yall want to pick your jaws off of the floor and explain would be fantastic." I deadpanned as I tried, and failed, to get the young(?)copy/clone to stop hugging my chest.

"It's simple darling, I'm here because I love you!" I don't care how sparkly your smile is, that doesn't answer my question, or make sense! I glanced at Luna and her guard, none of whom have taken my invitation to close their mouths, and as funny as that is I'm....why is she rubbing her face into my chest?

Shadowspear was the first to close her mouth, into a pouting face, "If you already started one why didn't you invite me to the herd?" She huffed turning away from me. Somehow that's important, call it a hunch, I'll ask Twilight about it later.

"Warrior where doth this female come from!" Luna bellowed finally busting both out of her stupor and into my eardrums.

"First of all, ouch, second of all I have no damned idea." I'll admit in hindsight forgetting about le glowing ball was pretty short sighted, but in my defence my ears were bleeding.

"No man will like you if you yell at them all the time..." Did my little female mini me just sass Luna, go female mini me, some metaphorical balls on her.

"W-w-w-what, we'll have you know we hath aplenty of male acquaintances!" Luna squeaked, I'm not making this up, she was actually embarrassed by that go female me get her ass!

"Really, name one." Shots fired, shots fired!

"...Victor, Sir.Victor likes me!" If you didn't bust my eardrums I'd like you far more....when did we become friends anyway? And when did I become a knight, wouldn't I be more of an assassin?

The, much younger, immortal narrowed her eyes at the moon goddess clutching to me tighter. Thanks Luna, if my ribs weren't reinforced they'd be broken to go along with my bleeding sound receptors. And if you wonder why I keep bringing up my ears it's because I've still got a headache from the lady of iron lungs over there.

"You can join in, but I'm first wife." She challenged as Luna's face turne- wait what?

"Ok enough of this." I gripped the mini assault with both hands now and yanked her off, ignoring the kicked puppy look as I set her back down. "Luna do you know of any magic or devices that can clone someone?" I sighed, too early for this, it's not even ten o clock yet.

"There are a few I know of, but they've always been magical copies, or illusions, not flesh and blood." She hummed to herself looking away "Perhaps however there is someone who has information on this, my sister or her pupil.."

"Ok great, I need to report to Celestia anyway." I noticed the look on Luna's face instantly, like a child who's ate the pie before desert, " Luna you didn't tell sun butt about the mission did you?" I gathered far too late, mentally face palming as Luna chuckled sheepishly.

"If our honourable soldier could perhaps keep it between the two of us we would be most grateful." How can I say no when she fidgets like that? I nod, she smiles at me as her horn glows with power.

"What's your name?" I can't call her mini me for the rest of time, well I could but it'd get old for both of us.

"I don't have one darling, will you give me a name?" She looked expectant, I rolled some names around for a moment steeling on one.

"I'll call ya Coco." I said I picked a name, not that it wasn't a bad name, she smiled up at me all the same happy non the less.

"Your sweet hot Coco, I like the sound of that." She grabbed one arm, landing into my neck as I realized something.

"Hey Luna what are we gonna tell sun butt when she ask wh-" I didn't get the chance to finish as she fired the spell and we all appeared in the royal chambers.

-----royal chambers------

"Darling I can't see, I'm blind!" Coco panicked, man I forgot about that fucking spell, I firmly grabbed the woman's arm to stop her from crashing into anything while resisting rubbing my own eyes. You may not know this but dragging a super hardened material across your eyes tends to be a bad idea, just so happens my gloves are armoured. Once I cleared my vision via blinking I saw a rightly surprised Sun goddess with tea in her hands, also a lack of night guards most likely transported to another area to keep sunbutt from getting suspicious.

"Sister of mine our resident warrior wished to speak to you so we have brought him to see thee, gooday." Luna quickly said before leaving just as fast....she really left me in here with no plan, what the hell! I thought were friends moonbeam, y u do this to me? By the way Luna's new nickname, was either that or full moon and her sister already has sunbutt.

While I was planning ways to capture and spank a certain lady of the night, the coughing of the lady of sunshine brought me back to reality. Well if there's one thing I'm good at it's coming up with stupid things to say on the fly!

"Right so last night I was in the forest outside of town, taking a run since I don't sleep ya know get my hearts ponding, anyway after a while I see This glowing thing on a pillar and I'm like 'what's it gonna do kill me?' so I grab it and it disappears." I take a breath, two hearts require more oxygen ya know? " I didn't think anything of it, but this morning I wake up and I've got this woman clinging to me!" I grab Coco before she can smack into the wall she's about to walk into, inadvertently causing her to grab onto me. " I know there are no other Matari in the system, so I'm thinking she's a clone, do you have any idea what that artefact could have been?" I finished, talk about pulling something out of your ass.

The sun goddess gave me an odd look and for a moment I thought she suspected me before she spoke, " Victor I realize I may be an immortal ruler versed in all things magical, but could you have not have waited until I'd at least had my morning breakfast and clothed myself properly before bringing such complicated matters to my attention?"...and I just realized she's wearing a night gown, that's not entirely hiding the skin underneath.

"....Luna's fault not mine." Already did my favour for the day, not taking the flack for this shit. "Nice nips by the way." and there goes my mouth again.

Celestia's face took on an unreadable expression as she used magic to clothe herself, useful that, a lot cleaner that what I do when I don't feel like searching for clothes, let me tell ya blood is an absolute bitch to get out of carpet. Although considering her normal robed attire showed off her figure in it's own way it was nice in a different sort- why is Coco tugging at me? I looked to the side to see a pouting Matari assault.

"Why are you so huffy? I asked confused.

"If you wanted to see a woman's body you should have just asked me." Her expression and what she's saying don't match. I sigh stopping myself from patting her head, I've learned most women hate that if you try to use it as a way to calm them down. Celestia coughed into her hoof giving me a pitying look.

I'm over two hundred and still don't understand women, probably wont in the next two hundred years either honestly...

"In any case she's your responsibility now, usually I wouldn't leave something like this to just anyone but it's not as if she can do anything to you that will cause any lasting damage..." She trailed off looking thoughtful as Coco tugged at me again "She doesn't seem to wish you harm regardless."

I looked at the grabby woman, in any case if she was made from me she's immortal, not to mention that she may be linked to me by more than just my general traits. Who's to say getting rid of her or too far from her wouldn't effect me in some way? I sigh shaking my head at the thought, ball and chain indeed.

She looked up at me with big brown eyes, she doesn't seem dangerous but it wouldn't be the first time a harmless looking person killed me, I suppose I'll deal with her if she becomes a problem in the future, if I can kill her in the first place.

I blinked as her armoured finger tapped against my nose lightly, causing me to lean back and chuckle slightly.

"That serious face doesn't fit you dear." She smiled up at me, and I think one of my hearts just stopped.

Celestia giggled at the scene, making me twitch slightly and glare at her just in time for a bright flash of light to hit me in the face. Damn you sunbutt, damn you and your pointy nips!

---------------------somewhere------------------------------

After a rinse and repeat of blind Coco holding, I opened me eyes to see...Lyra.

Celestia you bitch....

I expected a question, or to be accused of being a pervert again, but instead she made this...this 'squee' sound and grabbed Coco from me via magic. As the panicking assault frame flailed about, Lyra was everywhere at once looking at every part of Coco's body until....oh shit!

I dove forward as I noticed Coco going for the previously unnoticed combat rifle on her back, putting my hand on the muzzle of the gun as it went off three explosive rounds impacting against the barrier of my hastily reactivated shields. Lyra dropping the angered Brutor as she jumped back at the sound of the rifle ejecting a burst of deadly explosive bullets, the green woman's eyes wide and ears turned downwards.

Coco growled at the surprised unicorn as she landed on her armoured boots, turning into a whimper as my smoking hand landed on the back of her head.

"No shooting Lyra." I ordered sternly, glaring as she looked downwards to her boots muttering.

I looked back at said horned lass to find she had calmed down somewhat, if giving Coco the stink eye.

"We have a lot to talk about, call Twilight and the others, now."

Two things
1:I'm not sure why I didn't just go to Twilight's library.

2: I just realized that I have no idea what to actually say here, thankfully Dash spoke up.

"So when did you start building a herd?" Never mind she just caused more questions.

"I have no idea what that is." I answered bluntly, looking at her with half lidded eyes.

"You know a herd, lots o lovers, buck buddie-" I was saved any further explanation by a certain orange hoof covering the winged ponies' mouth, most likely to save poor Fluttershy behind her from fainting, in any case I get it now herd=harem, the Gallente are big on that shit.

"I think he gets it sugar cube..." Applejack spoke up evenly as I hid my smirk behind a hand.

"So this is Coco, sounds sweet, will you be my friend, do you like cake?" Guess who that was, getting in said soldier's face?

"You have cake!?" Well Coco gave a better reaction than when she met Lyra at least....

"So she's a scout like you, the armour looks different." Twilight asked getting a nod from Rarity beside her who, not surprisingly, was looking at my clone's clothes.

"No she's an assault class, more shields and armour tends to carry more mid range combat gear like rifles and grenades and you don't know what those are...." I hummed " Coco, take the bullets out of your Combat rifle and give it to me would you?" Before I even finished my sentence I had an RS-90 combat rifle in my hands, advanced level gear. Holding it up I showed the seven, can't forget Lyra, mares.

"This here is a RS-90 combat rifle, most used rifle among the average Minmatar assault class, there's a variant but I'm not going into that, technically it's classed as a support weapon but that's a load of BS this pretty girl shoots 3 rounds of explosive tipped hell strong enough to punch through most dropsuit armour in one to three burst, not too bad at bursting shields either." The amount of times I died to this thing in training. "Assaults like Coco there can use their suits to carry larger magazines, so they can shoot for longer without reloading, assaults also carry extra grenades, basically the things that come out of my mass driver but with a timer, so they can clear out huddled up enemies and clear doorways."

I stopped for a moment to look at Twilight furiously scribbling away at a paper via magic, you think you can sprain something that isn't tangible? I grabbed Coco away from Pinky and set her on my lap, much to her bubbly glee.

Plucking the next weapon from her waist as she leaned back into my chest I held it up to them to see.

"This is the M512-A Submachine Gun, advanced gear, as you may have noticed the SMG looks similar to her combat rifle. That's because these weapons are made using a similar design, this allows our soldiers or engineers to repair weapons or even modify them easily. One of the things I love about our designs." I smiled slightly remembering all the times I had to fix a gun on the fly, like to see Jill or one of those Gallente assaults try that with a Scrambler rifle or a Plasma rifle without losing their hand.

"Assault class clones like Coco tend to have more shields and armour than the average scouts, more ammo in their guns via larger magazines, grenades, and weapon steadying systems, but they're slower, louder, easier to spot, don't have as much stamina, and weaker physically and in hand to hand combat than scouts are generally speaking." I paused "Well as a norm, with modifications a scout can have a lot of shields and armour, or an assault can be pretty fast and sneaky, but that's a whole different subject." Don't pout at me Twilight.

"So if you get close it's over, but she'd have your flank at mid range?" Dash smirked at me, I rolled my eyes and nodded in response, the battlefield doesn't always work that way but hell I'll keep it simple for now.

"Well I couldn't imagine such a sweet girl hurting anyone at all." Rarity cooed as she patted Coco's head softly, making the clone smile and rub her head against it, not noticing Lyra muttering behind her causing me to chuckle and said mare to pout.

I looked out the window, knowing my life would be getting stranger from here, oh well I've survived worse...kinda a moot point if I don't stay dead huh?

A yawn from Flutters caught everyone's attention, the shy girl instantly hiding behind her pink hair in response as it travelled across the room.

"Seems you mortals need to rest." I observed out as Coco snuggled into my chest yawning, I thought about pointing out that she in no way needed sleep but decided against it in the end as a round of nods followed the yawns, and a dejected look from Twilight.

A few goodbyes and waves later and Lyra, Coco, and I were all that was left. The green mare stretching and turning to go up the stairs to her own room.

"Yo Lyra!" I called out grabbing her attention, she turned with an upwards brow as I pointed down at a conked out assault. Let it be known that while we immortals don't 'need' sleep per say we can do so, most don't do to extreme PDST that comes with long combat filled lives.

"Take her to your room, we'll deal with it in the morning." She shrugged, I shrugged, we shrugged and left it there. I picked up the slumbering woman, much harder than it sounds since she's wearing 700 pounds of armour, and headed upstairs myself, now that I think about it what are these stairs even made of to carry so much weight? I laugh off the thought going with 'magic' as I laid Coco on the bed, looking out the window again I simply thought about how interesting this little mission would be.

Heaven and hell awaits, good thing I'm barred from staying in either of them.