Quick Note: I've created a "Crazy Conscience" as I like to call it.
"Your" thoughts will appear in black.
He will appear in red whenever he appears in "your" head.
You sit in the lecture hall, bored out of your mind. To your right, a girl with blue spiked hair in a white tank top is quietly snoring, her hands twitching and glowing slightly every now and again. Her twitches seem akin to the way a dog runs in its sleep, and you give a quiet chuckle. To your left, a girl whose hair is striped in each color of the rainbow and wearing a cyan tee shirt stares blankly towards the front of the room. Her wings are folded up, but it looks sort of uncomfortable. It’s almost like she’s straining to keep from stretching them. Of course, anyone who knows Rainbow Dash would also know that she hates being cooped up for too long without being able to do some form of flying. Hell, you share her pain. Being stuck without any way to give the wings a stretch can get really uncomfortable really fast.
The Doctor has been going on and on about the topic of time travel or something. Odd, considering this was usually the world’s most boring math class. But maybe it all has something to do with math. Maybe he just figured out that nobody was paying attention, and decided to ramble for a while until someone caught him. You really couldn’t care less if anyone caught him; anything that isn’t math is fine by you, and probably everyone else. You let out a bored sigh, and let your mind wander.
Hey there, old friend.
Oh Celestia, not you.
This voice in your head is...well the little voice in your head. It’s like if you took anyone’s conscience, and gave it the mindset of a teenager. You’ve thought about seeking some sort of mental help, but in the end it hasn’t proven to be anything harmful. It’s just silly and immature, but gets the job done when it should.
Awwww, you don’t like me anymore?
What is it?
I was just gonna try and keep you from being bored.
I can do that myself.
Fine. I’ll just wait here until you want to do something. But, if I may make a suggestion for your entertainment....Uhhhh, where'd I put it...AH HA! Here it is!
You suddenly find yourself thinking about Rainbow Dash. It was an extremely well guarded secret that you have a thing for her. Only you and your brain knew about it, and you’d prefer it stay that way for the time being. You start cursing out the little jerk off in your head for doing this while she’s sitting right beside you, but that isn’t too important.
You look over to the left, and feel your stomach knot a bit. Even bored and staring blankly at a wall she still comes off as incredibly hot. You take your eyes away and stare up at the ceiling. You're afraid that if you keep staring at her long enough, your wings will flare out into an incredibly awkward "wingboner". You let your thoughts wander a bit more, but can’t seem to get them off the topic.
You start going back and forth with yourself a bit. You’ve been pondering just admitting everything to her, seeing how she’d take it. Then again, that idea is extremely stupid. What imbecile would just spill their feelings like that? You’ve heavily considered just asking her out like a normal person, but by the time you work up the nerve, it magically seems to vanish when you try and ask her. It’s safe to say that you’re not the most confident guy half the time.
You swim in these thoughts for a few more minutes, still staring blankly at the ceiling. You watch a little spider creep slowly across the panel. It was moving about as fast as the class was. Except the eight legged demon spawn above you was substantially more interesting. You keep staring at it, and suddenly feel a jab to your arm. You ignore it, thinking maybe Rainbow just elbowed you by mistake. But soon enough, another jab comes. Then another, and a third, a fourth, a fifth. You refocus your attention to her, those beautiful magenta eyes of hers staring at you in the most bored manner possible.
“You need something Dash?” You whisper.
“Yeah. My friend to ditch with me.” She replies, also whispering.
“You think you can slip past the Doc?” You cock an eyebrow.
“Well...no. But I’ve been thinking up a plan.” She responds.
“And that would be?”
“Excuse me, am I interrupting your conversation?” Came the voice from the front.
The both of you silently curse. The Doctor had heard the two of you whispering. In his defense, the class was so quiet you could hear a snowflake twinkle in the wind. Unfortunately, he absolutely hated having people ignore him for something they deemed more important.
“Would you care to tell me what’s so much more important?” He asks, looking none too happy.
“Well...I was just...rambling about...how...the quantum nature of that...numeric generator couldn’t produce the effects you outlined...so...your formula there is actually incorrect.” You ramble, trying your best to keep a straight face.
He stares at you for a moment, and you stare back. You pray to Celestia that he will buy the big worded malarkey you just made up. He starts going back and forth between you and the board, then stares at the board and his formula for a minute.
“Why...you’re absolutely correct! I completely forgot to factor in the random nature of quantum mechanics! This would never work!” He says, quickly setting to work on fixing it.
You’re absolutely stunned. In fact, anyone who wasn’t a zombie was pretty stunned. They could tell you were lying; it really wasn’t a good one. You notice that The Doctor was incredibly wrapped up in fixing his formula and rewriting all of the equations that sprawled across the blackboard. You notice the prime opportunity to sneak out the back, and elbow Rainbow.
“Come on. Now’s our chance.” You nod your head towards the door.
“Right.” She says as she silently stands.
The two of you manage to get out of your seats without making a sound, and creep towards the back.
By some form of miracle, the two of you manage to slip out unnoticed. You follow Rainbow down the hall and out of the building all together, coming out into the quad. It’s a nice little courtyard with a few trees and a statue of Free Spirit, the leader of the Equestrian War for Independence and founder of the college over eleven hundred years ago.
“So where to now, pal o’ mine?” Rainbow asks, sounding substantially happier.
“You mean you weren’t thinking of anything to do?” You remark.
“Look, I just wanted out of there. I’m up for anything.” She responds, bopping you on the head.
Anything, eh?
Oh grow up.
Never!!!!!
“I dunno. Race to the cafe? Whoever loses buys lunch.” You suggest.
“You’re on.” She smirks.
“Wings are allowed.” You say as you stretch yours a bit.
“On three?”
“On three.”
“One...Two...”
“Hiya!” A bubbly female voice suddenly interjects.
In less than a half second, a pair of blue eyes have appeared two feet in front of your own. The eyes are connected to a head covered in fluffy pink hair, and the head is connected to a body in a pink shirt and blue jeans. The surprise catches you by, well, surprise. You yelp, and rocket upwards, clinging to a tree limb and shaking momentarily. You look down to see the two girls facing you. Rainbow is clutching her gut as she rolls around on the ground and laughs, and the other is waving while giggling a bit. You roll your eyes, and let go of the branch. You look at them both with an annoyed look of disapproval, but it has no effect. Rainbow is still laughing her head off, and the other is still smiling.
“Hi Pinkie.” You say.
“Hi! Whatcha doin?” She replies.
“Cutting math and going to get some food.” You say, rather bluntly.
“Neat!" She exclaims, turning to her friend.
You look down at Rainbow, who is finally regaining her composure. The two of them talk for a few minutes, and then Pinkie skips off.
Rainbow looks directly at you, “THREE!”
With that, she tears off towards the nearest food source. After taking a moment to figure out what just happened, you take off after her. You quite literally take off as you begin pumping your wings and fly after her at top speed. You wave as you pass the winged girl who thought she could beat you by running. Within ten seconds, she blasts past you. Maybe allowing for flight wasn’t the best idea in retrospect. Rainbow has exceptional speed both on land and in the air, as you have clearly seen demonstrated yet again. You pump your wings harder, accelerating to your maximum speed. It’s still nowhere close to the speed she can fly at, and you know she’s fully aware of that. She looks back at you, and sticks her tongue out in a childish declaration of victory, just as she slams into a tree and thuds to the ground.
“Ow.” Is all she can say.
Now it’s your turn to laugh. You burst into a laughing fit for the better part of five minutes, much as she had not too long ago. She pulls herself to her feet, and rolls her eyes as you carry on giggling like a young schoolgirl.
“Done yet?” She sighs.
“Yeah. Heh. I’m done.” You reply, letting out the last couple of chuckles.
“Good.” She says as she flares her wings to take off.
“How about no wings.” You say.
“Why?” She replies.
“Because it’s not too fair going up against the fastest flyer in Equestria.” You explain.
“Alright. I’ll just beat you on foot.” She grins.
“Go.”
The two of you take off running. Now it’s become a slightly more even match. You can maintain good foot speed, but Rainbow can as well. It’s practically neck and neck for the next hundred or so yards. Sadly, today is not your day to taste the sweet taste of victory. You run out of steam just before reaching the finish. You find yourself walking up to a smug looking Rainbow Dash.
“Get your wallet out buddy, I’m starving.” She says, smirking.
“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t bankrupt me.” You reply.
“No promises.” She responds, holding the door.
You walk in, and aren’t too surprised to find the place empty. Whoever wasn’t in class was probably at work, and whoever wasn’t at work was likely in their room or somewhere else about campus . The cafe tends to remain empty between meal times, since there is no other real reason to come in.
“Whoa! People!” Exclaims one of two employees.
“Did you say something Lyra?” Comes a response.
“Yeah, we got customers.” Lyra explains.
“Well are you going to help them?” The other female's voice snips.
“Yeah yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist.” Lyra shoots back.
“LYRA!”
The girl that can be seen, Lyra, giggles and waves at you and Dash. She wears a bright green shirt and has hair striped in mint green and white.
“What’s up?” She asks.
“Nothing much. Just ditching class and grabbing food.” Dash says.
“You little rascal kids, you.” Lyra giggles.
“Says the freshman.” Dash quips.
Lyra rolls her eyes.
“Apply ice to the burned area.” You snip.
Dash chuckles, and suddenly snatches your wallet from your pocket.
“What’s the most expensive thing you’ve got?” She asks, immediately changing the topic.
“Hey!” You try and grab your wallet.
“I said no promises~.” She coos as she pulls it out of your reach.
“Dammit Dash.” You glare at her.
“Heh, just messin’ with ya.” She smiles, and you let your anger go.
How can I stay mad at that smile?
Easily, you pushover.
Piss off.
Never!!!!!!!!!
Shut up!
Okay.
“What’ll you have?” Lyra asks.
“Everything you have!” Dash says as she thrusts your wallet at her.
“You’re kidding.” You say, facepalming.
Dash chuckles again, “Yeah yeah. Just give me...whatever. I’m good with anything.”
“Alright. One dead rat coming up!” Lyra says, smiling.
You laugh while Dash gives Lyra a death glare.
“Just get me a sandwich.” Dash grumbles.
“Make it two.” You say.
“Actually, make it six.” Dash says, smirking.
“Alright. Six sandwiches. Anything else?” Lyra asks, smiling.
You grab your wallet, “No.”
“Awwwwwwwwwww. You’re no fun.” The two say in unison.
While the two of them stare at each other, trying not to speak in unison again, the second voice pipes up again.
“Lyra, have you helped them yet?” She asks.
“Yep.” Say Lyra and Rainbow in unison once more.
“Okay, this is getting weird.” They say again.
“Stop talking while I am.” They manage to say together once more.
They begin staring at each other once more, not saying another word. The other female appears while Rainbow and Lyra have their staring contest. She rolls her eyes before she notices you. The girl is wearing a cream colored shirt. Her two tone hair is pink and dark blue, and she has light blue eyes that have taken a focus on you.
“Oh. Um, h-hi.” She says, suddenly sounding nervous.
Ooooh, this is gonna be painful.
For once we agree.
“Hi Bon Bon.” You smile at her, trying to be friendly.
It has been painfully obvious to many many people that Bon Bon has had a crush on you for over a year now. She isn’t very good at hiding it. In fact, she is absolutely terrible at hiding it. But hey, a halfway decent looking girl likes you. It’s not that bad, right? But in retrospect, is friendzoning her really fair? Maybe. At least you have a backup if things don’t work out with Dash, right? You lean on the counter while she starts trying to flirt with you.
“So, umm...you buying some food?” She asks, clearly trying to make small talk.
“Yep. That’s why I’m here.” You reply.
“Cool.” She says, nodding for no discernible reason.
“Yeah. So...how’s business?” You ask.
“Huh? Oh, it’s good.” She replies.
“Only good?”
“Yeah...it’s been kinda slow.”
“I could tell.”
She giggles, and you smile awkwardly.
Dear Celestia, this is so awkward that it hurts.
She turns around to help Lyra make your food, and you suddenly feel as if someone is staring hatefully at you. You look at Dash, but she seems normal. You look at Lyra, and wind up catching a glimpse of the angry look she was shooting your way. You look back and watch as Bon Bon purposely knocks something onto the floor. She bends over to pick it up.
Nice view, eh?
Damn straight.
“That’s not where her eyes are buddy.” Lyra says as she pours a water bottle out onto your head.
You bolt up and shake your head a few times before staring blankly at Lyra. You can hear Dash laughing in the background. Lyra glares at you once again before shoving the bag with your food into your hands. You notice that Bon Bon is struggling to contain her gigglefit and also blushing slightly, knowing you were just staring at her backside. It was a pretty obvious plan, after all.
“Have a nice day.” The toothpaste headed cashier hisses.
You begin to leave with Dash, but don’t make it to the door before a fork encased in a gold aura nearly grazes your head and stabs the wall. Lyra fired a warning shot, and you got the message loud and clear. Don’t talk to Bon Bon if Lyra is within two hundred yards, or else you’re a dead man.
You and Dash head outside and fly up to the roof of your dorms. There are maybe two or three others with wings milling about on the roof just because they can get up here; freshmen mostly. The two of you eat while carrying on a conversation about the Wonderbolts. You’re not entirely sure how it came up, but Dash knew how to maintain the topic. Her dream is to be a part of the ultra talented flying team, and she can gush about how awesome they are for hours on end. You know this well, as it was one of the first real conversations you had with her. Now that you think about it, you’re still not too sure how you became such good friends. You just talked about the Wonderbolts for three hours, found out you had a class together and BAM! Instant friendship: just add water. Maybe it had something to do with being across the hall from her room and just seeing her all the damn time. Maybe you're just over-exaggerating how you became friends. It doesn't really matter anyway, you're happy enough to have her as a friend at all. It keeps you from just being "That guy over there".
The two of you finish eating and head inside via Rainbow’s window. You take notice of the stetson sitting on one of the beds, and figure that Applejack, Rainbow’s roommate and best friend, either left it or is currently somewhere in the building. You hear Dash yawn, and look over to see her stretching her arms over her head.
“I’m gonna take a nap. See ya later tonight, maybe?” She asks.
Teehee.
Oh shut up.
FUCK YOU. MOM.
“We’ll see. Just drop by whenever. You know where the key is.” You answer.
“Alright.” She smiles, and pushes you out of the door.
Typical Dash.
You head across the hall to your own room, and yawn. A nap does sound like a good idea right about now. You take the key to your room from its hiding place and unlock your room. As you push open the door, it seems to hit something that. You notice the edge of a suitcase poking out from behind the door, and are confused almost instantly. When did you get a roommate?
You push the door open the rest of the way, and slam it shut to announce your presence to whoever had just shown up here. The bed that once sat unoccupied on a far wall now had a duffle bag and two suitcase on it. Covering them slightly is a purple cape coated in silver and gold stars. On top of said cape sits a ridiculous looking wizard’s hat of the same color and design.
What kind of weirdo did I get?
Just as your mind finishes that thought, a girl steps out of the bathroom and stares straight at you. You look up, and lock eyes with her almost immediately.
2: Well This Should be Fun
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The girl screams at the top of her lungs.
“Who the hell are you?!” You cover your eyes with your hand.
She begins throwing the nearest objects to her at you, most of them bouncing off you rather harmlessly. One in particular collides with a certain area, causing you to double over in agony. Maybe keeping that baseball you found on that shelf wasn’t your best idea.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN TRIXIE’S ROOM!?” She demands.
“Who’s Trixie?” You respond, out of breath and struggling to stay upright.
“You’re standing in her presence, knave.” She says, almost growling.
“Well excuse me for existing. Just tell me what the everloving fuck you’re doing in my room.” You respond, still in extreme pain. You are on your knees, looking up at her with pain and anger in your eyes.
“Trixie was assigned to this room.” She arrogantly puts her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow.
“Was Trixie given a towel, too?” You snip.
“Trixie was coming out to get one. Trixie also thought that people still knew how to knock.”
“Oh, don’t you put this on me. Nobody told me I was getting a roommate.” You say, attempting to stand.
“A likely story.” She huffs.
Dat ass, bro....
NOT NOW.
“Fine. Trixie pities you, being so easily hurt.” She quips.
“Pardon my anatomy.” You mumble.
You hear movement as you collapse back to your knees. You assume that this girl Trixie was getting her clothes or a towel, but then see an ice pack float up to you encased in a sparkling purple aura.
Magic? Well...this should be fun.
I know. Think of what she could do with it!
I said not now!
AH HA! YOU DO WANT HER!
I didn’t mean it like that- oh forget it. Just shut up.
You grab the ice pack and make your way over to your bed, where you pull yourself up. You manage to come to a sitting position and hear the door to the bathroom slam shut. You immediately apply the sweet, cold relief to your sore groin. Letting your mind begin to clear from the haze of excruciating pain, you begin to wonder why nobody gave you a heads up on this. It’s your right to know who you get stuck with for the next three years, isn’t it? Conveniently, a knock comes at your door.
“It’s open.” You announce.
The door opens, and in comes yet another female. She has dark purple hair with a magenta-pink stripe coming down the middle. She wears a violet sweater and knee length skirt. She’s holding a clipboard and pen. You notice a slight blush on her face.
“Hi Twilight. What brings you to my neck of the woods?” You ask in a flat tone.
“Um, a-am I interrupting anything?” She asks, sounding embarrassed.
“What?” You look around.
It was just your luck that you wound up sitting near a tissue box and a couple of your magazines. That combined with your hands in your crotch to hold the ice pack could certainly give the wrong impression. Now it’s your turn to blush.
“What? No! No, heh, uh it’s not that.” You chuckle nervously, “It’s this.”
You hold up the ice pack to show her. She lets out an audible sigh of relief, and the blush fades.
“I guess you met your roommate?” She asks.
“No. I’m just sitting here with an ice pack because I’m kinky like that.” You say, your voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You don’t need to be rude, you know.”
“Look, so far in the five minutes I’ve been back here, three things have happened. I found out I have a new roommate, I found out she was a girl in the most awkward possible way, and then I got hit in my nether regions with a baseball,” You explain, “So sorry, but I think it’s understandable.”
Twilight giggles, and you scowl.
“Right, sorry. It’s not funny.” She says, still giggling.
“I assume you showed up to tell me that I no longer have my own room.” You say.
“That’s right. But I see you found out already.” She smiles.
“Yeah. Speaking of which, you got any magic super painkillers or something? I can’t really move because this hurts so much.” You say, wincing a bit as you move the ice pack.
“Well...I do know this one spell...” She says.
“Use it. Please.” You beg.
“Okay.”
You close your eyes, and wait for her to do her thing. The pain suddenly leaves your body all together, and you open your eyes. Thankfully, your lower half is still there. No matter how often she helps, Twilight’s not one you trust with magic around you. Not since the incident with a case of firecrackers.
“Thanks Twilight.” You smile.
“It was nothing.” She smiles back.
“So how’s life with she-who-shall-not-be-named?” You ask.
“Ugh, why can’t you and Rarity just get over this?” She groans.
“How would you feel if Flash turned out to be seeing someone behind your back?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Point taken. But it was over a year ago. You two need to let it go.” She complains.
“Well that’ll happen someday. But not today.” You boop her nose.
Twilight frowns, but sighs in defeat. She turns to leave, checking off something on her clipboard.
“Well, that’s out of the way. I should get to class. Bye!” She says as she leaves.
Well. That was abrupt.
Wow, I had almost completely forgotten about the Rarity ammo I stockpiled!
USE IT AND I WILL END YOU!
HEY! It was a joke! Calm down!
You sit back on your bed, thinking about things. Twilight’s probably right. It’s stupid to hold onto a grudge for so long. Maybe it’s time to make amends. But then again, doing such a thing as Rarity did doesn’t really warrant easy forgiveness. You pull out your phone and flip through some of the pictures.
You know you’ll just be torturing yourself when you go far enough back.
I know
Then why do it?
Because...it replaces the heartache with healthy doses of rage.
Get over her, man.
Could you?
Yes. And I’m you.
You come to a few pictures along the camera’s timeline of a stunning girl in a white dress. They were buried beneath pictures of blackness and random things, seeing as the camera tends to have a mind of its own, but still there. Most people would say keeping pictures of your ex is pathetic or weird. But for you, they serve as a distraction. Whenever you’re dumb enough to bring the slightest part of the whole thing into your head, you just look at the pictures and try to remember the happy times you used to have. Then comes the rage. But you’d take anger over sadness any day. You come to a photo of the two of you sitting in a tree. It’s the only time you ever convinced her to actually come up into a tree, and figured you might as well document it. It’s probably the last time the two of you were seen smiling together. Not two days later did you find out that she had been with another guy for months behind your back.
Okay, turn off the phone.
But-
Listen, I know I don’t take things seriously all the time. But I care about you, bro. I don’t want you to keep living in the past. It won’t solve anything.
Okay.
Put away the phone.
Okay.
Somewhat reluctantly, you press the power button and toss the phone onto your pillow. You let out a sigh. For once you're actually not angry. In fact, you actually feel a bit sad. It was quite a while ago; Twilight was right about that. But it still hurts to think about. For some reason, you actually feel like the whole thing is your fault.
You good?
I’m good.
Alright.
Who am-
Hold that thought. Hot naked chick inbound.
You spy Trixie out of the corner of your eye as she returns from her shower. You really, really want to look, but manage to contain yourself. You can almost hear your future kids thanking you for that choice. You stare at the wall to avoid eye contact with any part of her body. You suddenly feel a glob of wet cloth hit you in the head, and completely obscure your vision.
“That’s to make sure you don’t peek.” Trixie snarls.
“Gah! You could’ve just said so!” You shout as you flail out from under her used towel.
Quick! Just glance at her!
No way! I like my face arranged like this!
Please? For me?
No. Well...maybe just a peek.
I love you.
In a lapse of better judgement, you look over at Trixie. You attempt to feign a glare, but ultimately fail upon viewing her as she is now. Instead you just stare. And stare. And stare some more. She isn’t naked, but she isn’t fully clothed either. She’s in her underwear, digging through her bags for something. You absentmindedly let out a whistle as you check her out, instantly drawing her attention to you. You hear a growl, and look up at her face. She’s blushing, but has a look on her face that says “You’d better get ready to die”.
“Trixie will give you three seconds to run before she hurts you.” She growls.
You blink, but scramble to your feet and make a break for the door. Unfortunately, you trip and take a digger into the door frame. You pull yourself to your feet and touch your forehead. Thankfully, you’re not bleeding. You can hear giggling coming from behind you, and turn around to see Trixie failing to contain her laughter. You just stand there as she has her gigglefit, somewhat embarrassed about what just happened.
“You don’t still want to kill me, do you?” You ask.
“No, Trixie thinks that was punishment enough.” She replies, still giggling.
“Of course it was.” You grumble.
“Now are you going to stop ogling Trixie? Or will Trixie have to blindfold you?” She asks, folding her arms across her chest.
Did she just say something?
What? She said something?
“What?” You ask, looking back up at her eyes now.
She frowns, “I thought so.”
You watch as she uses her magic to grab a piece of cloth and brings it up to your face. Your vision goes black as she secures the blindfold tightly. A sharp pain in your torso suddenly has you on your knees and without any breath. You can hear angry mumbling from a couple of feet away. It seems to have only taken twenty minutes to get this girl to hate you and your guts. That’s probably some kind of record.
Smoooooth.
Hey, this is your fault. Fuck off.
You manage to get back to your feet after a few minutes, and start working to untie the blindfold. You’re actually pretty surprised that she went so far as to blindfold you. In fact, you’re pretty surprised that she actually has a blindfold. Who just has a blindfold!? Weird people, that’s who.
You manage to get the infernal thing off after a good five minutes, and look over at a now fully clothed Trixie. She’s wearing a light blue shirt and a pair of jeans and has begun the process of annexing the drawers. You take this slightly safer chance to check her out once again. If there’s one major positive to your new living situation, it’s the hot girl unpacking across from you. But if there’s one major negative, it’s the hot girl unpacking across from you. Something tells you that your life just became a bit harder with her around; call it a hunch.
As you grow increasingly bored, you begin to ponder bugging one of your friends to do something. Rainbow’s asleep, so she’s out for now. Twilight’s probably in the library. But honestly, she can be more boring than watching paint dry half the time. What about AJ? Maybe she’d be up for doing something. So, without further thought, you get up and begin searching for Applejack.
