The Host of Insanity

I woke up still on the hospital bed, my burns and broken ribs feeling exponentially better. I stood and was surprised at my lack of pain felt in the motion. I briskly walked to the pile of clothes that Rarity was generous enough to provide me with in such a short notice. I suddenly felt bad for these ponies, they had no idea that they were housing an assassin instructed with killing their rulers. Ignoring the pain that suddenly racked through my brain, I began my morning routine. I thought extensively about the plan, riding it through start to finish with many different scenarios and many different outcomes. I quickly flashed a look at the calendar that hung loosely next to the door.

Ok, two days left, I really need to stop getting injured so I can actually do my job. I thought with a low grunt.

After finishing running through scenarios in my head, I performed a full body scan to see the full extent of my injuries. A bruised rib and some minor burns were the only things that showed up.

Huh, their medical knowledge is very advanced even when compared to the hospitals back home- My thoughts were interrupted as I saw what seemed to be towering expanses of metal and strange carriages moving at lightning speeds.

Suddenly there was a flash and I knew what everything was, I looked around and could recognize my street where I lived in the asylum, I could see my bus stop for school. I looked down at myself to see I was back in my own body, my fur gone along with any and all scars I had acquired. I blinked and I was on an operation table, I couldn’t tell entirely what was happening and I tried to move, only to be held down by some kind of restraints. I tried to struggle against them, only to get a burning sensation along my spine.

After the pain had subsided, I began to study the room yet found that I couldn’t. Every time my eyes passed from one thing to another I would immediately forget what the first thing was. It frustrated me endlessly until I saw somepony staring at me. I couldn’t make out most of their features but I could tell it was a female, and judging by the way she held herself, she was high class.

“What are you doing?” My mouth moved on it's own accord.

“Somni Immemor Foederis.” The figure responded, her regal voice floating into my ears before everything became a blur.

I could no longer see anything but blobs of color, muffled sounds were the only thing perforating the ringing I heard in my head.The ringing got so intense that I had to clench my eyes shut as to not pass out from the sheer pain that came with it. Then the ringing stopped and everything was silent. I opened my eyes to darkness and a strange pressure on my chest. In the darkness, I could hear one last thing that echoed through my mind.

“File 874260.” Was all it said.

I woke up in a haze, my ears still ringing from the mysterious ordeal. As my senses recovered, I realized what the weight on my chest was. Somepony was straddling my stomach, leaning onto my chest, hands placed just above my heart. Blood was leaking from between her fingers, the red coloring her yellow fur a rusty orange. There was no pain and I felt strangely calm. I looked up at Fluttershy's blue eyes, wide with panic, and grasped her hands in mine. She retracted in shock, her eyes instantly leaving the wound in my chest only to lock her gaze with my own. With her hands out of the way, I could properly inspect the wound.

There was a stab wound in my chest, an inch above my heart. The wound, without any pressure to keep it closed, began to spout blood, splattering all over Fluttershy’s torso. She didn’t even flinch, she was too busy staring at her blood stained hands, a look of pure terror on her face. I also noted a familiar kitchen knife on the floor next to me, blood pooling around it.

I began to feel light headed, the rational side of my brain screaming at me to heal the wound. So, without hesitation, I charged my hands with magic before bringing them to rest over the wound, the fountain of red ceasing almost instantly followed by an immediate sense of relief as my body relaxed.

Continuing on my current streak of daily life I should be dead in about...two days? I thought with a laugh.

I look back at Fluttershy to see she hasn’t moved, a panicked look still plastered on her face, her eyes glued to the red streaks flowing down her arms.

Must be hemophobia...I should probably help her shouldn’t I? I thought again, half expecting an answer.

I walk over to Fluttershy’s shuddering form and crouch next to her. I feel an urge to bring her into a hug, pat her on the back and tell her it's all okay. Following my instincts, I lightly embrace her, comforting her as well as I could. Eventually she accepts the embrace, hugging me back tightly and crying into my shoulder, her fingers raking across my back with each choked sob.

“It’s going to be alright Fluttershy. Nothing is going to happen to you, you’re safe here.” I said, trying as hard as I could to comfort her.

After she calmed down a bit, I proceeded to pick her up like a child before asking, “Alright, lets see if we can’t get this blood off you is that okay?”

After feeling a slight nod from her on my shoulder, I carried her to the bathroom where, conveniently, there was a shower, ready to use. I brought her in before setting her down in the tub.

“Do you want any help?” I asked before exiting the door.

She said nothing, she only nodded in confirmation. I groaned internally, this was going to be an awkward morning. I helped her take off her blood soaked clothes, stopping at her undergarments, and threw them in the sink to deal with later. I turned on the shower and adjusted the water to her preference before taking my leave.

“Wait...” She called from behind, “d-don’t leave me...”

I smiled, I couldn’t help it, it was just too adorable, “Alright then, I’ll be right here if you need me.” I said, returning to the shower, sitting on the toilet next to it before closing the curtains.

After a while of listening to the sounds of water splashing, I went to look at myself in the mirror. My new shirt was stained along with my new jeans. I sighed, taking off my shirt as I did so before throwing it into the pile in the sink. I looked at the wound in my chest, now just a scar to add to the collection.

I hear a barely audible whisper come from the shower, “C-could you help me...” Fluttershy whimpered, still feeling the effects of the shock.

“Y-yeah, sure.” I said, silently loathing myself.

I hated Fluttershy, her shyness, her fear of everything, her profession, they were all horrid in my opinion, and now I’m helping her wash off in the shower? Possibly one of the most intimate things I’ve ever done in my life and it's with somepony I hate, and why is she so cute all of a sudden?

I sighed, opening the curtains. I was surprised at what I saw, Fluttershy hadn’t moved, she wasn’t phased by the constant bombardment of water over her, she was stock still. For some reason, I was very worried for her.

WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?! I thought, I hate her! I’ve always hated her, I’ve hated her since...since when? Since she cried for no reason that one day? No, before that...but I hadn’t seen her before that, I hadn’t seen anypony in this town before that day yet...I know so much about them...more than can be found out through simple reconnaissance...how do I know them...

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt something grab my hand. I looked down at Fluttershy to see her staring at me, I could see what she wanted to say.

“You’re welcome.” I said.

She smiled a bit, slowly standing up and turning around, gesturing to her perfectly clean back.

“Your back doesn’t have anything on it-” I began.

“Just clean it off...please.” She pleaded.

STOP! I know what you’re trying to do! You’re trying to manipulate my feelings! That’s it! Of course! What else can it be! You were told by the princesses to...get...close...to...me...

My thoughts became slurred as she looked at me over her shoulder, her cheeks a bright hue of orange, her eyes avoiding mine as much as possible. Thats when I realized just how hard this was for her as well, she is placing a huge amount of trust in somepony she just met the previous day as well as being in her most vulnerable state. I then realized that I was basically ogling at her as I felt my cheeks begin to burn. I robotically grabbed the soap and began the very awkward action of washing off her back, my face a bright shade of red.

After a couple of minutes, we became used to the fact that we were both half naked and I was washing her. I made sure to stay away from especially sensitive locations so I wouldn’t be accused of trying to cop a feel. I began to analyze the situation. If anypony found us it would be embarrassing true, but easily clarified, as long as this didn’t go any farther.

That’s when I heard the nurse at the door, “Hello? Patient 31? Are you in there?”

Both me and Fluttershy froze, my current grip on her shoulders tightening forcing her to make a small squeak. I glared at her, as she sheepishly mouthed sorry.

“Uh, yeah I’m about to get in the shower, what is it?” I asked.

“I’m here to check your vitals and check how you are overall. Can I come in?” She asked as she began to open the door.

I rushed over to shut it, succeeding just before she could get in, “What? N-no! Im naked  and about to get in the shower! Go away before I call your boss and tell him about you sexually harassing me!” I yelled, desperate to get her to run away.

“N-no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! Don’t tell him please! I’m leaving, I’m leaving!” She yelled back as I heard the clopping of hooves on tile get farther away.

I turned back towards Fluttershy, letting out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I returned to washing all of the blood off her, her yellow fur making it especially hard.

“Why did you squeak when the nurse was here?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me.

“You tightened your grip on my shoulder and it felt...really good...” She said, the last part coming out as little more than a whisper.

I grinned evilly, placing my hands upon her shoulders again and pressing hard, “Oh, you mean like this?”

“Oh yeah...” She quietly moaned.

I continued massaging her moving down her back slowly, eliciting small squeaks and moans as I went. Eventually reaching her wings, I hit an extremely sensitive spot just under where the wings connect with the back and she went limp. I had to jump into the shower to prevent her from hitting her head.

The shower now soaking me as we stood there, me holding her in my arms like something from out of a romantic movie when the guy does a dip while dancing with the girl of his dreams and they stare into each others eyes. There was a piece of her beautiful, silky hair in the way of one of her eyes. I subconsciously moved it as I felt a burn in my cheeks and a smile on my face she wrapped her arms around my neck, presumably for stability, until she showed her true intentions when she pulled herself up and into a kiss.

I was stunned, my brain screaming at me to stop, to turn around and walk away for my own good because I had a mission to perform. My body however was egging me on, telling me to forget the mission and be happy for the first time in my life.

I never got to choose sides. Fluttershy broke the kiss, her eyes wide, her face flushed as she shoved me off, nearly causing me to crack my skull on the tile floor, before she grabbed her clothes and a towel, flying out the door and out the window.

I laid there, trying to understand what had just happened. I resorted to my default way of looking at things, analyzing the situation to find the best and most logical way to react. I felt sad, happy, angry, confused, but under it all there was an emotion I haven’t felt in a really, really long time.

Love.

I couldn’t understand it. I had only really met Fluttershy yesterday and I already love her? Could such a thing be possible? Love at first sight doesn’t exist...it couldn’t! There is no way...yet that is the only explanation for this feeling.

Somehow, realizing this made me even more upset as I got up, trying to contain a cold fury. I exited the bathroom, kicking the door off it's hinges as I passed.

Fuck that door... I thought for no reason as I changed into another pair of jeans and a wifebeater.

Wifebeater, cause fuck actual clothes. I thought, calming myself slightly by getting my rage out on inanimate objects by swearing a bunch, in my own head.

Opening my window, I prepared to jump out, but before I could, Twilight and her little magical jewelry cult came back. They looked around the room for me, seeing the pool of blood first and I made note that Pinkies face went pale and she brought a hand to her mouth. Before they saw me I traversed the threshold of the window and jumped, hearing them yell at me to stop as I fell to the ground.

When I hit the ground, I made sure to roll as to not repeat the previous time I attempted the same form of escape. I then walked, hands in the pockets of my jeans, not knowing my destination, just working on instinct as I let my mind wander.

I had been wandering for hours, if the now setting sun had anything to say about it. The town of Ponyville was surprisingly big, I had been walking the entire time and I still didn’t recognize the part of town I was in. That was until I heard the booming bass and jovial laughter coming from the dance club just down the street.

Good, I could use a strong drink. I thought.

That was a terrible idea.