The Host of Insanity

Familiarity. The blackness spawned familiarity, for I had come here on multiple occasions, and I recognized it as being the Realm of Dreams that people so longed to get back to every day. Me, I never understood why people wanted to go here. All it was was never ending blackness and peace. I found it boring, I much prefered the chaotic world of the living.

Wait, no I don’t! I love being at peace with myself, and being able to tune everything out so I could write. Why do I suddenly hate the silence of my sleeping mind? I thought as I began panicking.

“Well, well. Lookie what we have here. How do you think we should deal with him Aeternalis, Aeternalis? Ugh, stop messing around and inspect this pony!” Yelled a voice from the depths of the abyss around me.

“Coming Delirium! Just give me a second! I need to get ready!” The place echoing with the cacophony of moving furniture.

“Wha-who are you?” I asked, still failing to see the beings around me.

“I don’t know about this Idiot here, but I am Delirium, nice to finally meet my new home for the next couple centuries. Ooh centuries, thats a long time, we should begin furnishing the place...hmm...maybe a couch here... a Lazyboy there... a meat grinder there...” He continued his rambling as the other thing began talking.

“I’m so sorry about his behavior, but thats what he does, for as long as I remember, that is all he does.” This voice sounded almost motherly to the other.

“Uh it's okay I guess...but where are the two of you? I can’t see anything.” I asked.

“Oh right, hey Delirium what did you do to his eyeballs?” Asked the feminine voice.

“Oh right, sorry uh...hmm...eyeballs...right,” I heard a disgusting squelching sound that made me want to hurl along with a slick popping noise and suddenly I could see.

What I saw did not please me. We were in a black room, the walls were shiny and chipped away like it was made of obsidian. Everything was slightly reflective, so there were millions of copies of the creature in front of me, each looking at an impossible angle so their eyes were trained on soley me.

The creature would have scared me, had it not looked completely ridiculous. The beast was seven foot tall, had a human body structure, and it's skin was made entirely out of burlap. The burlap was tinted a slight orange in the other worldly glow of the room, but I could still see the designs of eyes and way too wide grins in random places along his body. He was not wearing any clothes over the burlap, but he didn’t need to, it was just keeping the pure evil he was made of together. His head was shaped in a way so he looked like he was wearing a witch’s hat without the brim. It came to a point about a foot above his head. His eyes were black pits that sucked you in when you looked at them. Black mist swirled mystically about his feet as he leered over me. Overall, he looked like a giant lawn gnome made out of a potato sack. His companion was nowhere to be found and I looked about curiously in search of the female voice I had heard.

“Come now, daughter, lets not leave our guest waiting any longer.” Said the giant beast before me.

Suddenly from behind the demon, came the most beautiful are I had ever seen. Her mane was a dark grey, her coat being similar in color, if a little lighter. Her eyes were hypnotizingly brilliant. They were of the brightest gold, and suddenly I didn’t care where I was, I just wanted to be with her.

“Hehe, I think he likes you.” Said Delirium, causing a blush to appear on both mine and her faces.

“D-dad! Stop that, we came here to tell him what was happening from now on, don’t get distracted.” She said, slugging him lightly in the shoulder.

“Me, don’t get distracted? You don’t get distracted! You're the one making lovey dovey eyes at him, not me! But anyways yes, we need to talk.” He said, her blush deepening.

Delirium snapped his fingers and two rocks jutted out of the ground next to us, I took a seat and he began to explain how things would be from now on, “Now, I’m going to bestow upon you, wondrous powers beyond your comprehension. Well, actually I already have. I have enhanced your magic past that of even the Goddesses, however, you can only use this magic at times of extreme distress, for it will cause you much pain. Also, I have heightened your senses far past the norm, I have made you able to withstand strong blows although you still feel every bit of them. I think that’s it...hmm...yeah thats it so far. I might give you some more as we go on.”

“Wait, what? Okay, I get that you gave me special powers, but I have some questions that need answered.” I said sternly.

“Okay kiddo, shoot.” He said calmly.

“First off, what do you want from me to give me all of these powers?”

“Well, we are kinda in your head right now and I need for you to stay alive so we can live.”

“Okay next, who is that?” I gestured to the beautiful mare in the corner of the room who was eyeing me carefully.

“Thats my daughter, her real name is...unpronounceable to your species, the closest thing you can get is Aeternalis.”

“Allie, you can call me Allie!” She interrupted him, rushing over to where we were talking.

“Alright, Allie it is. Also, I know that you want more than just a body to live in. What do you really want?” I asked, eyeing Delirium cautiously.

“Welp, you caught me! Really, I just want to watch you kill Celestia, that bitch has been interrupting my plans for eons! That and I need for you to find my daughter a proper body, one that is in excellent condition, and is easily controlled. So no paralyzed old coots and no energetic little squirts. Just a normal, healthy adult mare.”

“Uh...how is that going to work?”

“I have my ways, and no worries, the pony won’t be harmed. Unless you want it to be.” He noted with a smirk.

“Okay, whatever. I just need to get back, I think Pinkamena has me.” I said, a sudden dread filling my mind.

“P-Pinkamena!?! How is she here, alive no less! Unless...is she pink one with the poofy hair?” Asked Delirium, suddenly anxious.

“Uh who?” I asked dumbly.

“The person Pinkamena hides in! Does she, or doesn’t she fit the description?” He continued, becoming more fidgety by the second, I noticed that Allie was just standing there slack-jawed at the information she had just learned.

“Mom is alive? Is she looking for me? Oh I can’t wait to see her again, it has been so long!” She squealed,rushing over to me, oh god, I even found that cute.

“Um I don’t know, but I need to get back now, maybe later I will begin to process this stuff, but for now I might just die if I don’t get back and that would be bad for everypony, so if you don’t mind, I really need to get back now.” I pleaded.

“Okay fine, whatever, I need to think about this...” Said Delirium as he began rubbing his temples.

(_I__..__I_)

I woke with a start, much like when I first arrived in Equestria. Only this time, I was strapped to a metal operating table with Pinkamena looking at me, and boy did she look pissed off.  The light was nearly blinding, yet I couldn’t see anything past her face, she was wearing the same outfit I last saw her in, if it was a little bit muddy. Same pink shirt, same baby blue overalls.

I would have struggled against the restraints that held me in place, had my rational mind not kicked in and told me to calm down. I analyzed the situation. I was in a room, most likely secluded and sound proof. From what I could see, there was no exit. Beyond that, I could not tell for the light prevented me from seeing the rest of the room.

“Who are you?” Asked Pinkamena after seeing the I had come to.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes I would, and quite frankly I don’t really care for your safety, only the knowledge you are about to bestow upon me. So, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.” After a brief pause, I heard a loud bang and out of the corner of my eye I could see her grabbing, and attempting to lift a giant hammer.

“Are you quite done? I have things to do and places to be and this little inconvenience isn’t helping my schedule.” I asked, acting annoyed.

“Grr! Shut up!” She growled as she once again tried to lift the hammer.

“Okay, now that’s just rude! I accept the hostility towards me as retaliation for my previous actions, however, that doesn’t mean that you can get mad at me for having a normal life with a normal schedule to keep!” I said, still trying to fluster her so she wouldn’t notice my escape.

“You didn’t just make a bad entrance, you made Pinkie cry by looking at her with such a disgust that I thought you could see dead ponies.” She continued, giving up on her escapade with the hammer.

She walked past me and she looked out what I assumed was a window of sorts. I took the opportunity, and picked the locks on my restraints with magic. All the while stalling her with stupid small talk.

“Oh, well if that’s the case couldn’t I just say sorry?” I finally said, once the locks were undone.

“No! No you have to pay for making her cry!” She said with determination, though still not turning around.

I quickly teleported right behind her and said, “Well I’m sorry to hear that,” before charging my hand with magic and grabbing her in the crook of her neck.

She fell limp and nearly struck her head on the ground had I not caught her. Carefully, as to not wake her up, I dragged her body back over to the table I was just in, and placed her on the cold unforgiving surface.

“Magic powered Vulcan Neck Pinch, I might need to use that more often.” I said aloud with a slight chuckle.

I checked to make sure I hadn’t hurt her, and searched quickly for a exit for I had no idea when she was going to awaken. I certainly do not want to be in the same enclosed space as an enraged Pinkamena.

I checked every nook and cranny, under all of the furniture and behind the various things on the walls, there was no way out that I could see. The walls seemed clean and were lacking any formation of cracks whatsoever. I eventually allowed myself to quietly and subtly blow a gaping hole in the wall in a random direction, hoping that the wall didn’t conjoin with an orphanage or an old folks home.

Luckily, it didn’t and the wall came down with a hardly audible rumble with assistance by way of my telekinesis. I half limped, half slinked out of the building and into an alley. Where I had expected to come out behind Sugarcube Corner, I had in fact come out of an old, abandoned looking building that was currently being patrolled by battalion of guards who were set on high alert.

Oh great, I thought, what should I do now?

Don’t let them get to my mother! They will surely kill her! Came the familiar voice of Allie from in my thoughts.

Alright then, lets teach these guys a lesson in privacy. I thought in response, a familiar bloodlust settling in.

I crept into the shadows and surveyed the scene. There were boxes of large wooden crates forming a sort of maze. Each crate was about a story tall and there was often two stacked upon each other. It was dark out, there was only a sliver of a moon in the sky. What little light that shone, was reflected quite clearly on the vibrant reds of the guards’ armor. I had come out of some giant brick building that looked like a warehouse, tall windows stretched from the second story to the heavy galvanized iron roofing. Large doors, with a similar construct, spread from end to end of the building. The hole in the wall I had emerged from seemed to be the only way of entry.

Like a way too easy ‘noir’ game. I thought, a grin spreading across my muzzle.

I jumped to the top of a pile of crates, the necrotic boards creaking, threatening to break from under me. I took position, I watched as the group of about eighteen guards split. There were three teams of six, each with five guards ponies each, leading the groups were three captains. Their armor decorated with various stripes and dents, showing their experience with each imperfection.

As I silently contemplated the best way to go about slaughtering the three groups, a captain led his squad in my direction. I put the bricks in a pile covering the wall’s new gaping maw. They slowly clambered over the ruined remnants of ancient boxes and bricks. Eventually their routine marching brought them to the pile I had just moved. I held my breath, waiting to see if they would notice the slight adjustment in the structure’s foundation. The captain called for a halt, and the squad obeyed, uniformly stopping their rhythmic march. I quickly reacted, using my magic to tip over the crate I was standing on. It fell with a sickening crunch, and the loud banging of metal against metal, as the crate crushed the guards ponies where they stood.

The captain was just out of reach of the crate, and came out unscathed. He was knocked forward by the bits of debris and face planted into the side of the building. I ran up to him and picked his up by the back of his throat. I slammed him against the wall, getting a solid clang and a pained grunt for my efforts.

I laughed maniacally to the air, my bloodlust clouding my judgement. I grabbed the captain by the back of his collar and by his leg, not caring who heard me, I threw my head back and let loose a guttural roar into the black of the night. I pulled with all my might, listening with sick delight as I heard the captain’s joints begin to pop and his muscles stretch. At first he was grunting at my efforts, but now the captain was full out bellowing in pain, trying with all his might, although his efforts were fruitless, to get out of my iron grip. I yanked harder, hearing the joints along his leg pop out of their sockets. In retaliation, the captain jerked his head back and screamed, no doubt alerting the other two squads of my presence.

His scream of pure agony sent my over the edge, I pulled with all my might, finally feeling the tissues in his body tear and break. I looked up at the sound of skin tearing to be greeted by a marvelous sight. The captain was barely alive, and was almost cut in two. His torso was only attached to his pelvis by a few strands of flesh. His guts, falling out of the gaping hole in his body, cascaded down onto my bare shoulders, staining them red with his blood which was spewing from the tear like a fountain. I tossed him to the side, not caring about staying quiet any longer, I had myself some ponies to annihilate.

I looked down at myself, seeing my forearms shudder and shake, and my jeans, riddled with new cuts and holes, were stained a dark crimson. I couldn’t see myself, but I knew that upon my muzzle was one of the most terrifying smiles anypony could muster. I looked to my left and, seeing the two remaining squads running at me, weapons drawn, I did what any other insane pony would do, I stood there and laughed. It wasn’t an evil laugh, no it was a jolly laugh that somepony would expect to come from and old stallion, it even brought tears to my eyes.

The guards hesitated, looking at each other suspiciously before returning their gaze to me, or where I was that is. I was already in a full magically enhanced sprint at them, my fist reared back and aimed at the closest pony in the group who appeared to be a mare, sucks for her. By the time they realized what happened, my fist had already made contact with her jaw at supersonic speed, decapitating her in the process. The resulting shockwave forced up a bunch of dust and cracked the ground beneath me, as well as sending the nearby ponies in various directions.

I paused a second to contemplate, What came first, the cantaloupe as in the fruit, or the cantaloupe as in the animal?

I returned to the realm known as reality by way of a blissful scream of rage. I shook my head and looked around to see a distraught stallion kneeling over the lifeless form of the mare I had just killed.

“Aw, isn’t that cute, the beast cares for the beauty. Here, let me give you a hand with that.” I said with a voice that wasn’t my own.

The stallion looked back up at me as I began walking towards him, in one smooth movement, he drew his sword placed himself between me and the body. He roared in defiance before charging at me blindly. I sidestepped his swings and punched him right in his chest. It took the both of us by surprise when I felt my hand wrapped around his spinal cord. Wasting no time, I pulled my arm out, his spine in tow, and killed him quickly. I dropped the body and looked back at the rest of the battalion, noticing their looks of disbelief at the feat I had just committed. In truth I was surprised myself, I didn’t know that I could punch straight through their armor like that, as well as their ribcages and most of their major organs. I was very happy at that, they however, weren’t.

I killed in a blind fury, each kill more gruesome than the last. I snapped one’s neck, another I disemboweled, two I beat with their own limbs, and it just got worse from there. During the whole escapade, I was howling in mad laughter as the blood of the fallen flowed over me like a crimson river. The flash of swords and blades, the sound of blood gushing from various wounds and the feeling of bloodlust all blended together into one giant tornado of slaughter and pain.

I eventually came out of my high when they stopped being much of a challenge. It was down to two ponies, one of whom looked like he had just shit himself for every kill I had achieved. The other looked defiant, like he could still win this fight. He was sadly mistaken as I used his comrades’ swords to pin him to a crate before leaving him to bleed out.

The last guard did something that I didn’t expect. Where I thought he was going to either run, or attempt to kill me, he simply kneeled before me and hung his head before taking off his helmet and tossing me his sword. I looked at the sword and at him alternatively. I felt confused, did he want me to kill him? I couldn’t tell for sure, but as I got a closer look at him I realized something else. The guard was a kid, no older than fifteen. He had a mane and tail that were both an eerily familiar shade of brown. I walked up to him and lifted his chin, nearly jumping back at the revealing sight of two piercing hazel eyes.

“What are you doing here kid? I thought I left you at the camp! Why are you in the military all of a sudden?” I began asking, my voice suddenly returning to normal.

“What? It's you! How? I thought you left!” He responded, flustered at my change in demeanor.

“No I didn’t leave, geez kid I was only gone for a couple of hours, I thought you could handle yourself for that long.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You were gone for three days. I did handle myself for that long until my mom found me again and sent me to the military academy, this was a training exercise until you decided to jump in and kill everypony!” He deadpanned.

“Whoa three days! I need to get on with the mission! C’mon kid, you’re comin’ with me.” I said, grabbing him by the wrist.

“No I’m not! I don’t even know you, you kidnapped me and made me go to a military academy, and even through all that, you still try to be some kind of father figure or something, well let me tell you, you fucking suck at it! You killed what few friends I had just now, and if I go back I will be patronized for not being able to protect myself or my team so you might as well kill me.” He said in defeat.

“Whoa...I never thought of it like that...ok kid fine whatever. I don’t even care.” I said, lifting the sword off of the ground.

I walked over to where he was still kneeling and placed the blade on the crook of his neck. I took in a deep breath as he did the same, and I lifted the blade over my head.

Wait, why am I being so nice about this! Hehe screw killing him quickly! I thought maniacally.

I took a step back and took a look at the blade. It seemed sharp enough for my purposes. I grinned and went around to his back.

“Wha-what are you doing? Aren’t you going to kill me?”

“Oh yes, but not quickly or cleanly. No, I will definitely kill you, but slowly and painfully.” I said, my voice once again fluxuating to a more evil tone.

Before he had the chance to respond, I lashed out with the sword, cutting just under the skin. He screamed in pain, I did it again, this time making sure to cross the original line. I did this repeatedly, and each time I got a howl of pain for my efforts. By the time I was done, his back looked like it was a plate of uncooked, bloody, chicken fingers. I one last swipe of the blade, I cut his torso clean in half from shoulder to hip, and watched as it slowly slid off.

Finding my bloodlust sated, even if temporary, I placed the sword back on the ground and walked in a random direction, hoping it was the right way home. As I stumbled along the dark path that, hopefully, led me back to the quaint town of Ponyville, I slowly remembered what happened before I had lost consciousness. Something involving me jumping out of a five story building to get away from Pinkie. I looked down at my right leg, noting how I didn’t even notice that it was broken not four days ago. There was a tear in my jeans where the bone had broken through the fabric, I couldn’t see the scar that had surely appeared under the thick crust of blood that covered nearly my entire body.

I looked at my torso and forearms, each was covered in the blood of those innocent ponies I had just slaughtered for no real reason. I clenched my fists, shaking my head at the realization of what I had just done. I had just killed, repeatedly, and had felt nothing of it. Not even now, I didn’t feel bad about it, I didn’t regret my decision. If I were to be put in that same situation again, I probably would still have done it. According to the laws and rules of society, I should feel pain, regret and remorse for my actions, yet I felt nothing. This confused me endlessly as I pondered it well into the night. I didn’t even notice my arrival at my destination until I was back in my own bed and was drifting off into the realm of dreams.

It was then that I realized the answer to the question that had been bothering me for some time now, "It was cantaloupe, the fruit that came first, how could I be so silly as to think it was the other way 'round." I only hoped now that my sleep would come uneventful and my dreams would be peaceful.