The Host of Insanity

by Wulfbane42

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Human, Sad, Anthro, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 29180

I have been in Equestria for what feels like days, yet entire months have passed me by. I have been given a mission to restore harmony to this land: kill the diarchy. The voices in my head tell me where to go and what to do, and I obey. I must obey.

Insanity dawns upon all who live. Be it something as harmless as OCD, to something as serious as schizophrenia. We each make a choice, to fear it, or embrace it. Those who embrace it are exiled to 'hospitals' where they are to be cured, but they don't want to be cured. They find their insanity to be greatness. Richard Darren had his greatness thrust upon him one night, when his father hit him a little too hard across the head with a metal baseball bat. He has embraced the side of insanity for as long as he can remember, but all greatness comes at a cost. He has another side to him, a side tainted by the touch of reality, one whose morals are all but nonexistent. He has hidden this side of him from the outside world, but his alter ego can still taunt him, persuade him, and remind him that if he slips up once, he will be gone forever in his void of a mind.

But relief comes in the form of creativity, or more specifically acting. It can be any kind of acting, on paper in his fanfics, or on stage in one of his plays. But the other side of him waits and waits, slowly gaining domain over Richard's mind, body and soul. Richard knows that he is losing time, and yet he waits patiently for his time to come. Until one night he comes back to his cell and hears the soothing voice of a very familiar princess. He decides that enough is enough. He is done waiting. His time is now.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-04 19:28:29 UTC

A Healthy Dose of Crazy

“Good work everybody, now once you change into your street clothes, and wash off that makeup, we can go to the after party!” Said my mentor as I looked at her like I would my own mother.

“YEAH!” A chorus of guys sounded, while the girls just rolled their eyes at them and went to get changed.

I walk somberly back to the changing room, not wanting to stop the other ponies- STUDENTS! They are students!- from their cheers.

Gah! There I go again! Thinking that I’m in Equestria. The place where there are no worries, a place where you can be anypony you want, and do whatever you want. Oh how I want to go there...

As I walked through the halls of the unfamiliar middle school, I ignored the compliments made at my performance. I was the only one that had made it back to the dressing room, the other guys got distracted by either their families or praise from the audience. I quickly changed out of my costume, consisting of, brown pants, black shoes, black overshirt, white undershirt, and a black cloak with matching top hat. Upon undressing, I quickly went to my bag that contained my street clothes, and threw them on as fast as possible, not caring if the carefully placed makeup was smeared onto my shirt. I had to leave, and fast. I had to get away from this crowd of people that brought me to a reality that I didn't want to be a part of, I just wanted to go away, to go back into my padded cell and work on my stories for the rest of eternity.

My padded cell...my home...

I look at my wrists, seeing the many scars upon them, some fresher than others, but always in the same area, with the same intention. I washed my face in a nearby bathroom, ridding myself of the accursed colored polymers and chemicals cascading across my naturally tan complexion. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I hate you!

I thought angrily at my reflection. I had come to this conclusion after years of sitting in front of the mirror, wondering why I was getting so mad as I looked on. Then my reflection did what it normally does, it smiled, the unholiest of smiles, it's eyes darkened into black orbs, irises becoming lost in the blackness, and it replied.

Oh how nice it is to see you too! By the way, nice performance. You pulled off the abusive pimp quite well.

It taunted, silently daring me to do something. I ignored it, acting as calm as I could. That was the one thing that kept me sane enough to be around people, acting. It was the only thing I was good at, besides writing that is. If the people around me were happy, I acted happy, if people around me were sad, I acted sad. I was a cameleon, not showing how I really felt, not even in private, for fear of egging on my reflection. I walked away, my reflection yelling after me.

You know thats who you really are! You know thats how you really feel! You-

The yelling was interrupted by shouting from just outside the door. I steeled myself for what would certainly be an encounter with people.

“Hey Jimmy!” Said the closest boy as the group rushed through the door.

I visibly flinched at the use of my horribly placed nickname. One that my gym teacher gave me when he couldn’t for the life of him pronounce my real name.

“H-hi, um sorry to leave on such short notice...but uh I have to go home now...” I replied, pushing past the group.

I shuffled to the doors leading to a safe and hopefully uneventful escape. I wasn’t that lucky. I bumped into one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen, the one playing the slave I had beaten the tar out of on stage.

“Oh hey RD!” She said.

I flinched again, this nickname being more accurate but more painful than the last one. It reminded me of the world I have so desperately tried to go to for years now.

“My name is not RD. It's Richard Darren, and you can call me Rick or Rich.” I replied, suppressing my frustration.

“Whoa, ok Mr. Richard Darren! No need to get upset!” She said, holding her forehooves- HANDS! Hands- up in mock surrender.

Feeling myself start to slip, I ran past her without another word, and went out the door, to the familiar black van in the parking lot, leaping over rails and dodging people and objects with impressive agility. I entered the van, dodging the questions fired at me by the driver, a Rachel Darren my supposed mother, by hiding under the veil of my insanity.

I stared out the window, not at the scenery, but into my imagination. I see Rainbow Dash flying high, helicopter turtle in tow. Applejack, once again saving the town of Ponyville from a stampede, with her dog Winona. I see Fluttershy, being polite to every animal in the forest, yet shying away from others of her kind. Twilight researching some kind of new spell, her new wings twitching in anticipation, her pet owl watching on from a distance while Spike organized her most recent mess. I saw Rarity, constantly adjusting the fabrics on her dress. Lastly, I saw Pinkie Pie looking at a mirror to see an image of herself that wasn’t her. It was me. She was looking into my eyes with the same intensity that I looked into my own. Suddenly I turned into the infamous Pinkamena Pie, one of the most feared ponies in all of Equestria. Pinkamena looked alot like my reflection, evil and scary, but Pinkie wasn’t letting her reflection get the best of her, she turned and trotted back to the stairs, leaving just me and the reflection.

I sighed and mumbled under my breath, “Good job Pinkie...”

“Huh?” Asked the driver.

“Hmmm...” I replied, using my familiar tone of, I wasn’t talking to you.

“Oh...but we are here.” She continued.

“Thank you. I shall now go back to my computer.” I said stiffly.

“Oh...ok...” She said, obviously sad at the fact that I would rather shy away from humanity than embrace it.

I walked into the stark white building, and checked back into my room through Mr. Doorman at the front. I was greeted by the dull blue gate next to the front desk opening with a loud grinding sound. I thanked him and walked by, ignoring the rantings and pleadings of my fellow inmates. I walked through the life-sucking hallway, the fluorescent lights draining the will of all who were unlucky enough to get blanketed in it's unnatural glow, until I reached the cell numbered forty-two. This door was a deep blue, until the light of the hallway graced it, then it became a dull,  nearly-grey, blue like the bars of the many gates leading to the different levels of insanity.

I was in the third level of insanity, The Dabblers, as I called it. We in this wing of the hospital dabbled in the art of insanity, from the lowest level to the highest it went, Greens, Testers, Dabblers, Experimenters, and Masters. The inmates in each of the levels had various ‘illnesses’, I prefered to call them abilities, for as each was undoubtedly insane, each was gifted in a certain thing, their skill in that thing could not be surpassed unless it was also the gift of a higher up. My ability, was pretending to be someone I wasn’t, or acting as it were. This could be onstage or on paper or in conversations. This allowed me to make many ‘friends’, though they never really were. They never knew who I really was, how I really felt. Thats why I have come to accept this place as my home.

I entered the room to experience the familiarity of it. The subtle hum of the computer’s fan, combined with the whirring of the ceiling fan and the low rumble of the air conditioner made the perfect symphony of concentration needed to write my stories. The soft orange glow of the lamp on the dark mahogany desk, combined with the alien beams of light that came from cracks in the door’s old seal, made the perfect illumination required to properly see the letters on the keyboard of the old, grey MacBook Pro that housed my most treasured stories. Anything that wasn’t impressive, was immediately thrown out, no matter how hard I worked on it. That is how I worked, slowly and efficiently, anything not good was trashed, not just for stories, but for anything. From relationships, to food.

I walked towards the black leather swivel chair, thinking about how I was going to start my new chapter, when the door shut loudly behind me. I jumped and whirled around to see a faint yellow glow around the seal, it slowly spread to the creases in the padding of the walls around me. Remaining calm, I turned back to my computer and sat in the overly comfortable chair, instantly feeling exhausted from the play I was just in. I heard a soothing and relaxing voice in my head, urging me to relax and fall asleep.

I recognized it instantly as the voice of none other than Princess Celestia. The only pony powerful enough to bring me to the land of my dreams. Realizing what I had to do, I packed up the few books I had about humans from the small bookshelf built into my desk, as well as my computer, and my portable internet. As a last thought, I grabbed my iPod and set my favorite song on repeat. Then with everything I needed, I lay down upon the now glowing chair and closed my eyes and went to sleep, not caring where I would be when I woke up, not even caring who I would be when I woke up. Just knowing that my life would be a clean slate, my decisions would be the paintbrush and my emotions would be the paint, all to the painting of my adventures in Equestria.

Me and Myself

The sensation. The feeling. It was...indescribable. I had an idea of what was happening, but even with my ability, I was unable to suppress my surprise, and my pain. I felt as though I was a bullet, shot at supersonic speeds, into a solid steel wall, shattering on impact. I could feel myself, slowly coming apart at the seams, my atoms breaking apart, only to reform, and break apart again. The pain was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, I could feel every atom of m being being ripped apart, each one was a dagger in my side. After having been broken and reformed more time than I could possibly count, I felt myself falling. I panicked, not knowing how far down I was falling, or how fast. I turned my head, only to be met with a branch from an oncoming tree. I felt my head snap back, and I heard the branch break, along with a couple shouts and screams. Then all was black.

I woke up to see a familiar sight, if a bit unexpected. I saw what appeared to be the Apple Family Barn. The hay I was lying on was fresh, the wooden support beams sported a new coat of bright red paint, nearly causing me a headache. I scanned around the barn, looking for any sign of my rescuers. I was met with a high pitched Moo and a buck to the face, and for the first time in ages, I felt my own blood. Copious amounts of it, pouring from my nostrils in large crimson falls, cascading across my body. My...shirtless...body...

“AHH!” I yelled, both at the fact of me being half naked, and from the fact that I was providing enough blood for a second coat on the beams.

Clutching my nose, I scrambled away from my attacker, ready to fight back with everything that I had, only to realize that my attacker was a particularly startled cow, who was backed into the corner opposite me.

“Oh, it's just a cow.” I said, remembering something about the show.

“So, what's your name?” I asked it, expecting it to talk back like in the show.

I got up, or I would have if the throbbing in my head hadn’t forced me back to my knees. I hung my head, my hands moving from my nose to my temples, as I clutched my head in my hands, squeezing as hard as I could without crushing my skull.

“ARG!” I grunted as the pain welled up in my head, my stomach threatening to empty itself all over the hay covered floor.

My vision became blurry. I could hear a constant buzz in my ears, I prepared for myself to fall over, passed out. But I didn’t. Suddenly the pain subsided and was replaced with a feeling of dread as I watched a creature appear in front of me. It looked like me, if I was an anthro. It had the same blonde hair, the same tan skin, the same smile. It's eyes...were pure evil. Black pits, with no irises. It's smile turned from a normal smile to an unnatural grin, making the light suddenly seep from the world. I felt encased in a tomb of solid darkness, hatred filling every pore of my body, nearly making me froth at the mouth with the thirst for blood.

“I-its...y-you...” Was all I could muster before a different feeling flooded over me.

This was a feeling I was stranger to. It was a warm feeling, one that made me want to take comfort in...anything. Even the creature in front of me that used to be my reflection. I looked up, and noticed a change in the face of my old reflection. The evil that was once present in his eyes, was replaced with a look of sadness and despair. The blackness that filled them replaced by a depressed look. His bright blue eyes, matching my own, his outlandish grin replaced with a frown. The look was easy to read, it was one I recognized all too well, it was one I wore every time I added to the maze of white tissue upon my wrists, one of defeat.

The sudden change in emotion made my head spin. I watched my reflection sit next to me and sigh.

“I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I give up.” He said, each word he said made the jackhammer in my head become more merciful.

“Good, cause I was getting annoyed.” I said with more confidence than I felt.

“Hehe, just because I’m not in your head anymore, doesn’t mean that I don’t know what you're really feeling.” He replied.

“Why are you an anthro?” I asked out of nowhere.

“Because you are.” He replied flatly.

Looking at my body, I realized something I hadn’t before, I was in fact an anthro. Tail the same dirty blonde color as my mane. My legs inverse like in the show, my body was a little more built than it was on Earth, my abs were clearly visible with my pecks being pronounced. I looked at my wrists, seeing the familiar white streaks, I sighed, knowing that I would be questioned about them. That drew my attention to my surroundings. I stood and hopped out of the pen I was currently in.

“Why would they put me in a pen? I would have thought that they would have put me in their house, like in a guest bed or something.” I asked myself.

“Well I have no idea. I was KOed when you hit that branch.” My reflection replied.

“Oh right, that sucked. It was definitely...surprising.” I said, for some reason I felt more at peace when I was talking to myself, or my reflection as the case may be.

“Yeah...for some reason I feel more relaxed and more willing to open up when we talk.” He said, as if he read my mind.

“Hmm...maybe it's because we are technically talking to ourselves.” I offered.

“Yeah thats probably it.” He replied.

We were interrupted by a small squeal from across the barn. We looked to see none other than Applebloom, in her trademark pink bow, short jean shorts and tied plaid shirt that showed her toned stomach, standing wide eyed at the sight before her. She dropped the bucket she was holding and ran off screaming about naked intruders in the barn.

“Oh-”

“-shit” We said.

“Quick where are my clothes!” I asked frantically.

“Where are your clothes? Where are my clothes!” He yelled as we both searched every inch of the barn.

“No they are my clothes! I was in control of our body! You didn’t even have to wear clothes until five minutes ago!”

“Oh shut up and find them!” He retorted.

Eventually we found two pairs of jeans and two white wife-beaters. We threw them on, the jeans were dusty and the wife-beaters were torn but beggars can’t be choosers, and sprinted out the double doors to the barn. After easily outrunning a old green mare, no doubt Granny Smith, and a big red stallion with a two-by-four in hand, Big Macintosh, we made it to a tree house out in the middle of nowhere.

“Well...I guess we should go in...” Said my twin.

“Uh yeah thats a good idea.” I said, sarcasm dripping from my words.

“Right, right...we did just kinda scar her for life didn’t we...”

“No duh! But that raises the question, if they had no idea that we were there, who put us there?” I asked.

“Hey yeah. Who could have done that? Wait, I didn’t see Applejack chasing us, maybe she put us there.” He replied.

“Yeah I guess that could have happened...yeah actually, that's probably what happened.” I agreed.

“By the way, I never told you my name, probably due to the fact that I was too busy tormenting you all the time.” Said my double.

“Uh I just assumed that we had the same name.” I said flatly.

“Oh well then I guess you do know my name. Hey we should come up with new names! Seeing as how we are now in Equestria, we should make up pony names!” He said excitedly.

“Um yeah I guess we could, then we will have to find a job, a house, and make friends with the main characters in the show...”

The two of us continued to discuss how to begin our life in this new land, we entered the shelter and, unsurprised to find that it was the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ secret hideout, we made it our home for the night. Before I fell asleep, I watched as my alter ego slept, waiting for him to wake up and kill me. After watching him sleep for a couple hours, I tried to sleep myself, only to find that I couldn’t. I decided to take a short walk, scout out where we actually were.

I walked to a pond and lay down. Looking to the sky, I thought. I thought intensely about anything that came to mind. Anything from my cutie mark, which was the white yang half of the yin and yang duo and I assumed that my twin had the yin half, to why my twin was all of a sudden so friendly. I decided to blame it on the copious amounts of friendship in Equestria.

It must have affected me when I came here, I thought, I mean the magic here is powered by friendship right? And it must have taken a ton of magic to bring me over, but that still doesn’t explain why we separated and it doesn’t explain how he got his body...so many questions...

I ignored the bombardment of questions to allow sleep to slowly grasp me in it's unrelenting claws as I got back to our outpost. I lay down and fell gracefully into a daze, until I realized something, why was I going to bed in the middle of the afternoon? I shot awake and ran to the nearest window, hitting the rafters of the creaky wooden house, and looked out to an unpleasing sight. It wasn’t even the afternoon yet, the sun was at a higher position than it was earlier that day.

“Oh god. It's morning!?! Why did I have to come to Equestria in the morning!?!” I asked no one in particular.

I had a sudden realization, if it was morning, then the CMC haven’t had their meeting yet. I realized the problem too late, for as I turned around to wake my twin up I heard three distinct voices from outside. I ran to his side and kicked him in the side, perhaps a little too hard.

“OW! What the fuck was that for man!” He yelled at me.

He just as soon realized his mistake as I had. Suddenly the trio of voices from outside stopped, I heard quiet hoofsteps to the door, and I heard the wood of the walls creak. I looked over to my twin and we made eye contact. I signed for the both of us to go out the window, he nodded and we approached as quietly as we could. He clambered over the windowsill and hit the ground with a muffled grunt. I was about to copy his movements when the door was thrown open and three teenaged anthros rushed through the door, and in a blur were holding onto my arms and legs.

“Haha! I knew it! You’re a rapist aren’t you, trying to rape us poor little fillies! Well we got you and now we are going to turn you into the police!” Said a orange pegasus with purple a purple mane and tail.

Scootaloo...

“Yeah thats right!” Said a white unicorn with a double toned purple mane and tail.

...Sweetie Bell...

“No wait girls, lets give this guy a chance to explain himself, I ah saw him back at the barn with a friend o’ his, they were both in their underwear so ah thought they was rapists or something, but this seems ta prove that they were jus’ tryin’ ta find a place ta stay.” Said a familiar filly

...and Applebloom, oh my.

I chuckled at my joke, when the three of them looked at me suspiciously, “What's so funny huh?” Asked Scootaloo.

“Oh nothing, just a joke I made earlier,” I replied, “and yes Applebloom, good deductive skills, heck you could probably get your cutie mark for being a detective.”

Applebloom instantly beamed, “Really? Am I that good?” She asked, until she realized what I had said, “Hey, how did you know all that stuff about me?” She asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Uhhhhhhhh...”

Shit! I thought, what do I do? I can’t just tell them the truth or they will send me to whatever the anthro version of a mental institution is, and I AM NOT going to one of those!

As I was thinking of a way out of this, my twin came rushing in the front door, “Oh hello brother! Ah was wonderin’ what took ya so long! But ah guess that you jus’ got caught up in ya attempt at a surprise party for the youngun’.” He said with a fake southern accent.

Ugh. This is gonna bite us in the butt later isn’t it... I thought.

“Uh yeah brother, ah was just tryin’ to find out what she liked an ah heard Applejack saying how much mah lil’ cuz liked this here clubhouse.” I said, rustling the filly’s hair.

“Wait what?” Asked Scootaloo.

“We are Applebloom’s cousins. We came here in secret ta try and make a surprise party for the little one, but she found us when we were sleepin’ in the barn, so we had ta find another place ta stay, and we ended up here. And the rest is history.” My twin replied.

Yeah just keep digging us deeper in this shit-hole we are in why don’t ya. I thought angerily.

As if I said it out loud he said, “Aw come off it brother, it's not like we were goin’ ta keep this a surprise anymore.”

“YOUR MAH COUSINS!?!” Yelled a giddy Applebloom, before she rushed up to us and brought us into a big, bone crushing embrace.

“Gak! Uh yeah...now uh...can ya let go?” I asked her, feeling my ribs nearly give way under the pressure.

“Oh yeah sorry...but ah have so many questions!” She said, releasing us while we gasped for breath.

“Well shoot kiddo! We got all day, seein’ as how the party got cancelled.” He said, with way more confidence than I felt.

Jeez! I must have lost my edge, he is besting me at acting! I mean I know he is me, but that means that we are supposed to be the same at it right?

“Alright well first off, where are you from? Ah haven’t seen you round these parts before.” Asked the filly.

“Well, we don’t really have a home, we became bankrupt and had to sell our farm, we have been travelling ever since.” He said.

Wait, how did she accept our explanation so fast? We didn’t even have to explain why Granny Smith and Big Mac were chasing us out of the farm...eh gullible kids I guess.

“Really thats awful!” Said Sweetie Bell, as the three of them circled around my unfortunate ‘brother’.

“Yeah, where have you been living? I mean recently?” Scootaloo joined in.

“Well...” I saw him scratch his chin in thought, “I don’t know if I should tell you...seeing as how you're so young and all...”

“Awww come on. PLEASE?” The three fillies said in unison.

Wow...they must have practiced those puppy dog eyes...they are very persuasive.

“Well...ok fine,” He finally answered, “we have been living in...pause for dramatic effect...THE EVERFREE FOREST!!”

And cue the piano... BUM BUM BUUUM.

The three fillies gasped at the stallion’s response, “W-what are you two doing living in a place like that!?!” Asked Sweetie Bell.

“Yeah it's really dangerous!” Exclaimed Scootaloo.

“Not ta mention scary!” Applebloom chimed in.

“Well let me tell ya!” He said as he told them a story of action and adventure and hunting, this probably frightened them the most until I came up with a good excuse as to why we would commit such a heinous crime.

All the while I’m sitting there thinking, We are gonna get our asses handed to us on a silver platter. Unless I get to Celestia...hmmm...

I sat there, coming up with a plan to get to the princess, all the while, my twin was constantly telling our totally fake life story, fake exaggerations included, to three very intrigued fillies.

Chaotic Memories

“Ugh...oh, my head...” I said as my eyes readjusted to the almost nonexistent light.

“Oh finally! Wake up, sleeping beauty!” Said a familiar voice, drained of it's accent.

“Wha-what happened?” I asked, still in a daze.

“Ha! You have about as much of an idea as I do!” My twin replied.

“Oh shut up! You’re giving me a headache.” I retorted.

“Oh really! So you think that it's me giving you the headache! What about all of those mushrooms you ate? It couldn’t possibly be them, could it?”

That is when it all came back to me: our fake backstory, the fillies going to sleep, needing shelter, the walk into the Everfree, the run from the pack, and the mushroom eating. All in vivid detail, every scrape, from trying to outrun the pack of timberwolves, to the effect of the mushrooms, to the reason we came into the forest in the first place.

“Why did I let you talk me into going into the Everfree for shelter...dumbass...” I mumbled.

“Faggot.” He retorted.

“Dipshit!”

“Waste of space!”

“Excuse for a split personality!”

“Pussy of a fanfic writer!”

“Degenerate!”

“Daddy’s boy!”

Instantly I was filled with a rage that surpassed anything that I had felt so far, “What did you just say!?! I’m nothing like my father! I hate my father! My father was a cruel man, responsible for your creation! If he hadn’t been such a blind drunk idiot, then maybe HE WOULDN'T HAVE HIT ME ACROSS THE FACE WITH THAT STUPID BASEBALL BAT EVERY DAY FOR TEN YEARS, AND MAYBE  I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN EXILED TO A PLACE LIKE THAT SHITTY MENTAL INSTITUTION!" I yelled, pointing at the many scars that adorned my head under my thick hair, the most prominent one being a big ‘C’ that stretched down from the top of my temple to my cheek bone.

I sat there, fuming, refusing to look at the only other person in the room. Instead, I tried to get a better grasp of the situation. We were tied up to something, in a dark, cold room that smelled like mildew. I figured that we had been dragged here by somepony, and placed in some kind of dungeon.

“Fine then, if you're not going to talk to me, then I'll leave!” My twin finally said.

That struck me as a bit odd for two reasons. One: it came from across the room from where it used to be, and two: he couldn’t leave; he was chained up to me, or at least that's what I thought. I realized that I was wrong when he opened a door and a streak of light came directly at my eyes, blinding me. Once I had recovered from the sudden change in the lighting, I got a much better look at my surroundings.

I was strapped to a bed by my arms and legs, red cuff marks adorned my wrists; probably from my struggling. I also noticed that I was not in a dungeon, but in a rather nice room that was made out of cobblestone. It had a fireplace, an expensive looking couch, a couple of very artistic paintings, and an armor stand, covered in what appeared to be a suit with forest camouflage. I tried to get into a better position to see the rest of the room, but the restraints held tight.

I suddenly felt a tingling in my forehead. The tingling spread and increased in intensity until I felt like my entire head was on fire. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt something project from my head. I thought that I had been shot from behind. The pain peaked as the protrusion came to a stop about seven inches away from my face.

It took me awhile to realize, I had just grown a horn...in ten seconds flat. I chuckled weakly to myself at my pathetic attempt at ignoring the raging fire of pain that was still going on in my head. I felt like I was absorbing knowledge from the air itself. I was learning and understanding various spells, from camouflage to teleportation to levitation. My head felt like it was about to explode, my vision became blotchy and faded.

I almost failed to notice the dark figure standing in the doorway as he said, “Good, good. Now that you have experienced this firsthand, you can begin your training.”

I awoke to the familiar smell of pancakes with sausage and over medium eggs. "Oh, hello Mr. Doorman,” I said groggily, “I didn’t see you come in.”

I turned to the door of my padded cell and saw an unfamiliar wooden door...with an armor stand next to it...and a painting on the wall...along with a couch...and a fireplace...

“GODAMMIT!!” I yelled to the world.

“I thought it was all a dream...” I continued, more quiet this time.

Wait...why do I hate being here? I thought I always wanted to be here... I been trying to come here for ten years! I would think that this, finally coming here would be a good thing...I will have to think about that later, I have breakfast to eat!

I sat up in the bed I was in, which turned out to be very soft and comfortable, with blankets that appeared to be made out of animal skins. My body instantly resisted my every move, wanting to lay back down on the heavenly bed, but I needed to sate my curiosity, and my hunger. I took one last look at the inviting bed before taking to my hooves. I noticed the armor stand out of the corner of my eye. Before leaving, I ventured over to the leather dummy to more closely inspect the strange clothes that adorned it.

It was a tight looking shirt, with a mesh plate that spanned from the elbow to the chest, and continued across to the other elbow. The mesh also covered the front of the dummy’s abdomen along with patches on the outside of it's thighs. The parts that weren’t the deep black of the mesh were a camouflage the matched the flora of the surrounding area, a light green with patches of light brown and dark green randomly placed throughout the design. Along with the suit, there were black leather pouches, worn from use, placed in strategic places around the body, each one was within hands reach. There was a bandolier of them that went across the chest from the left shoulder down to its right hip. There were two big ones on the left hip, and one huge one on the right thigh.

Behind the dummy was a case that held some strange looking weapons. There was a pair of daggers that seemed to be forged of the night sky itself. The twin blades seemed to flow like water, but they were black as the new moon, with tiny specks of light like stars. They each curved away from the wielder, if held correctly, and came to a thick tip while the blade near the handle was thinner.

Hmm...they are kukris, if my knowledge of ancient weapons is correct.

With them was a bow and a quiver that was made out of black leather, but emitted a slight glow. The arrows inside of it were the purest white that pulsated wirh light, similar to the life draining lights of the fluorescent tubes plugged into the ceiling of my old home.

I shed a tear at the thought of my old life. Not because of the friends and family I loved, but for the bad memories. Memories of receiving beatings each and every day when I came home from elementary school. Memories of my father picking up the baseball bat while my mother just watched, terrified at what was about to happen, and of what had happened each and every day of my memorable life.

But it was that day that he decided to go for the kill. Instead of bringing the metal rod down on one of my limbs, he swung it at my head. I just sat there, bloodied, bruised and broken, waiting for the final blow, the one that would take me from this accursed life. I closed my eyes and prepared for the oncoming peace and tranquility, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see my father, in a daze, rubbing a red hand mark on his cheek. He was staring wide eyed at my other who, after watching apparently one too many beatings, was screaming at him.

Suddenly his eyes filled with rage, he hoisted the bat over his shoulder and swung with all his might. My mother’s head didn’t even stand a chance. It was smashed to pieces in the new hole in the wall. I watched on as my father continued to beat and break my mother’s dead body, and I felt no sorrow for her death. In fact all I felt was anger, I was angry at her for taking my spot in the afterlife, I was angry at her for birthing me to this man who caused so much suffering in my life. All I felt was anger, until I saw my father glare at me and charge at my still kneeling form, then I felt nothing.

I wrenched myself away from the bad memories. I found that I was still standing in front of the armor stand, my clothes damp with fresh sweat. My hands were intertwined around each other, clutching my wrists and rubbing. I looked at myself, I was a wreck. I had come to an entirely different world, maybe a completely different universe, and that beast still plagued my thoughts.

I shook myself out of my daze and looked at the last weapon, hoping to whatever powers that be to not let it bring back more memories. I looked at the bow, its neatly carved features prominent in the soft glow from the quiver. It looked like the carvings were nordic in design, but it was broken. Cracks spider webbed all across its surface, which would have been worrying if not for the magic pulsating through them.

The more I looked, the more I noticed the the carvings seemed to be moving. Crossing and interlocking in different ways, never repeating a single pattern. There were patterns in the shape of different animals and plants, along with ponies in Ponyville doing their everyday things. I looked on and noticed that the patterns seemed to create a scene remarkably similar to the one I was currently in.

It showed a very confused pony wandering around a dark room, their eyes finally settling on a stand that had a very familiar suit on it, and the weapon rack behind it. Suddenly, a wooden imitation of my face was staring back at me from the bow. I tilted my head at an angle, and noticed that the face in the wood mimicked my movement. I proceeded to do many more random movements before I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt your journey through your darkest memories, but you should come and eat some of the green cockatrice eggs I just cooked up for you and Darkside.” Said a familiar voice, and instantly I felt a sense of dread flow over me.

Discord?

Madness, Thy Name is Equestria

I turned around, and sure enough, Discord was standing in the doorway, though he looked human and not anthropomorphic, which I found weird. He was wearing a brown leather jacket and pants, and no shirt under his jacket, which was left open on the front. The right arm of his jacket was torn off and a orange sleeve was sewn in it's place. The left sleeve was replaced by a yellow and black striped fabric, and each was frayed at the end. The designs on his pants stopped abruptly in the middle, each design had nothing to do with the other. On the left they were green with black arrows crossing in every which way, curling around each other. On the right they were orange with a stripe down the middle of the leg, which in itself was stripped white and black. It vaguely reminded me of a tiger’s fur. Across his bare chest was a series of scars that criss-crossed any way they chose. Under the mismatch of white tissue was a faded tattoo that, after taking a minute to decypher the sporadic shapes and symbols, spelled CHAOS in big letters. On his head, where I expected to see two proud spires of horns, were remnants of an encounter with some kind of beast, they were now only two shattered stumps. The hair on his head was a mat of white with streaks of black and grey in various places that matched his equally disorganized gotee. His face held no joy or mischief, only despair and sorrow, with a hint of hope, his golden eyes reflecting the same feelings.

“Are you coming?” He asked, annoyance in his tone.

“Yeah...I’m just surprised to find out that you were the one that helped me, well us.” I replied.

“Yeah, well, I had help.” He nearly growled.

“Wha-” Was all I got out before he turned and left me in the room.

“Hey wait come back! What do you mean...you...had...help...” I began to say, before I was rudely interrupted by my amazement at what I was seeing.

We had left my room and entered a hallway, that immediately lead to a rather large, wooden kitchen where King Sombra was currently making Queen Chrysalis try his newest creation, some kind of casserole made of various plants.

I did a double take as the both of them stopped their arguing and looked over to me and Discord and they both nodded at me with...was that respect? Next to the kitchen was an open room, an entire wall was made out of glass, that showed the landscape through it.

We were in a tall building of sorts that overlooked a forest. The Everfree Forest was the only one that I remembered from the show, but this one seemed different somehow. I almost overlooked the dark blue mare that was currently sitting on a couch reading a book with thin glasses upon her muzzle.

And even Nightmare Moon. This is certainly a strange occurrence. I thought that the evils of the show couldn’t even stand each other, let alone live with each other...

“Find something you like?” Asked the Mare in the Moon, interrupting my thoughts.

I hadn’t even noticed that I was staring at her in awe, “No mam! I-I was just...admiring the view.” I said, I almost expected her to hit me with a beam of magic right there an end my existence in Equestria.

“Right,” She said slowly, almost mockingly, “so you’re the new recruit right?”

I looked to Discord, who had somehow gotten behind me, for confirmation, “Yes, yes he is.”

“Huh...I thought he would be... I dunno, better?”

“Whoa there Nightmare, that was a low blow!” I heard Sombra say from the kitchen, I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but apparently Nightmare could.

“Shut up Sombra, or I will show you how vivid a nightmare can be!” She yelled at nearly the volume of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

As the two continued their shouting match, Discord dragged me into a separate room, where my double was already digging into a plate of green eggs and toast.

He looked up and said with a full mouth, “Oh hey! Good to see that you are up! I heard you scream and I came in to check on you and saw that you had a horn! How did that happen?”

“Its called the Chameleon Effect, Darkside.” Said Discord as he sat down in one of the mahogany chairs that surrounded the matching table.

“Darkside huh? I see you finally found a name for yourself, although it's a bit...dark.” I said to the stallion as he was stuffing his face with another peculiarly colored egg.

“Yeah, but it’s true isn’t it? I was your dark side when we were in the same body. I was your evil half.” He said through slurps.

“Well then, that just leaves me...hmm...” I said.

“You don’t have a name?” Asked Discord.

“Well I did, but that was before I was brought over here by Celestia. That reminds me, why the heck are you guys helping us when you are evil, AND Celestia brought me here in the first place?” I inquired.

“Well, technically I brought you here.” Said a deep gravely voice from behind me.

I turned to see Sombra in his black ‘Kiss the Cook...Or Else’ apron, coffee in hand. “And we aren’t the evil ones! It's that bitch Celestia that’s evil!” Said Chrysalis from behind him, with as much venom in her words as possible without it leaking onto the floor.

“Uh...elaborate please?” I said, dazed by what I had just heard.

“Ugh, we are seriously gonna have to tell them this from the beginning aren’t we? Fine whatever, NIGHTMARE! GET IN HERE AND TELL THE STORY!! AND BRING A COFFEE FOR OUR GUESTS!” Chrysalis yelled to the other room.

“ALRIGHT I’M COMING!!” We heard footsteps, as well as the pouring of coffee.

Suddenly she was in the doorway, two steaming mugs in hand, “Here you go recruit, and company.” She said, giving cups to me and my twin respectively.

“Now y’all had better take a seat, this is gonna take awhile.” She continued.

Everypony did as they were instructed, allowing me to see them more clearly. Sombra was wearing dark blue jeans, with various patches of what appeared to be flour. Under his...unusual apron was a black wife-beater that showed off his grey fur covering his shoulders. His eyes were a bright green, while where I expected to find purple smoke leaking from their corners, I found none. I found this peculiar, but didn’t address it. His mane was in dreads that were tied together in the back. His deep voice had a tinge of a Jamaican accent to it. As he sat down, he brought out a bottle of...was that Red Stripe? He then poured some into his coffee.

Stereotypical much? I thought with a slight chuckle.

My eyes moved on to look at Chrysalis, who was wearing basically the same thing Sombra was, but her wife-beater was a deep green that matched her eyes. And her jeans were torn in many places to reveal the holes in her legs beneath. Matching holes could also be found on her arms and hands where she currently held a mug that had a picture of a caterpillar’s metamorphosis on the side. As she took a sip of the black liquid, I noticed that her mouth contained fangs just before her mane fell down and covered her face. Her mane matched her shirt in color.

Nightmare had taken off her cute little glasses, much to my dismay. She had on light blue shorts and a loose shirt. Her mane flowed in an imaginary wind, while familiar white specks shimmered and shined on it. She cleared her throat and took a seat at the head of the table.

“Once upon a time, there was balance. Not harmony mind you, but complete balance in the world. Equal amounts of chaos and harmony. Back then, us immortals lived in peace with one another. Celestia controlled the day, Luna the night, same as usual." She began.

"I controlled dreams and Discord controlled, well chaos. Chrysalis monitored the relationships between countries, causing a war when it was needed with her spies, or making sure a peace treaty went along without a hitch. Sombra here was in control over the flow of magic throughout the world. We all made sure that the world was in balance, and we were worshipped for it." She continued, each pony nodding at their name.

"None of us ruled a country, we were always thought of more as gods than actual beings. They erected shrined in our honor, where we would go and collect the gifts given to us. We were worshipped, given gifts, and lived in eternal bliss, that was until the sisters got greedy. They wanted more, they wanted to rule. They literally shot us in the backs, imprisoning us in the Everfree before we could stop them. They eventually came to rule over the country now known as Equestria through the slavery of it's original inhabitants and the destruction of it's civilizations." She hung her head slightly.

"They even went as far as to make nearly all life on the planet extinct so they could monitor and re-write the evolutionary process, so only certain species would exist. When we finally broke out of our prison, it was too late. We fought back anyways, and managed to put Discord in charge, seeing as he was the only one that could bring back the planet’s natives. But we underestimated the sisters and they managed to not only take him off the throne, but turn him to stone and take away most of his magic, as well as destroy his horns and wings. He miraculously became reborn, while Chrysalis kept tabs on the sisters from the inside with her spies, I managed to possess Luna, but was banished for a thousand years and when I came back, I was forcefully removed from her mind. Luckily, before I was destroyed, Sombra managed to make me a body and bind my soul to it. I still ended up losing my magic though.” She finished.

“Hey don’t forget the part about me becoming a king!” Noted Sombra as he took a long swig of his beer laced coffee.

“Oh right, in the time when Discord got turned to stone, before I got banished, Sombra decided to try and balance the world by taking over the most peaceful city and basically making it's citizen’s lives hell. It worked for awhile until the sisters banished him too.” Nightmare finished.

“But before they managed to do that, I cast a spell on them so they would be in a time loop for one thousand years. It managed to slow down the destruction of the world, but it wasn’t enough to stop it.” Sombra continued.

“Wait, destruction of the world? Why haven’t I been told of this yet?” I asked, losing my normally cool composure.

“Because mister...uh-”

“Sureshot, his name is Sureshot.” Interrupted my twin, who finally managed to clear his plate.

“Ok, because Mr. Sureshot, we weren’t sure if we could trust you, but seeing as how you are not running away screaming and yelling that you are going to report us to the royal guard, we think that you can handle the mission.”

“Mission? What mission? I need to be better informed than this if I am going to help you guys!” I said matter-of-factly

“We can worry about that later, for now we need to start the induction process.” Said Chrysalis.

“Wait, what? What are you going to do to me? S-stay away!” I yelled while they backed me into a corner.

“Just relax.” Said Nightmare.

“It will all be over soon.” Continued Chrysalis.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in the center of my skull. I clenched my head in my hands and slowly got down to my knees. The last thing I saw, was the dark wooden floor approaching my face.

Error: Emotion Not Found

I slowly became aware of my surroundings, or rather, my lack thereof. I was floating in a dark void, lighter than air, but the very clothes on by body threatened to crush me.

T-those bastards! They tricked me! I thought, rage burning in my chest.

To my surprise, I felt the flame of my anger slowly dissipate until I felt indifferent about my current situation. Eventually my carelessness numbed until I felt no emotion. I felt nothing for anything, or anypony.

Hmm...I wonder what they did to me? I inquired, curiosity drowning out the numbness in my brain.

In all of my thinking, I didn’t realize that I should probably struggle to get out of my apparent prison, I instantly regretted this decision.

FUCK! I thought as a wave of pain washed over me.

Once the onslaught of pain had ceased, I thought some more, seeing as it was the only thing left to do.

Ok, so lets assess the situation. I got cornered by what I thought were my allies, and they sent me here.

Where I expected to feel another flow of anger, I felt nothing. It was a feeling that I had never felt before, nothing. I felt nothing at all, just the constant drone of numbness plaguing my emotions.

Huh...so I can’t become angry? Hmm what about scared...

With that I tried to remember the tragic events of my past life, only to find that they were hazy and I couldn’t recall most of the details. Giving up, I decided to think of something to pass the time.

I wonder where Darkside is, shouldn’t he be here cause he is a part of me? Wha- huh?

Suddenly my train of thought stopped. I couldn’t think straight, the only thing that I could do was wait, so I did. I waited patiently, finding it slightly odd that having my free will taken away from me did not faze me in the slightest.

Eventually I felt the burning sensation in my chest return, only to find that it was on the surface this time. I looked down as far as I could without moving my head, only to find a bright light emanating from it. I felt the same fire begin burning on my thigh, where my cutie mark was.

Suddenly I felt another presence in the void and looked to see Darkside, broken and bloody, floating next to me. From my position I could see the same light fading from his chest and thigh. I looked longer and saw that his cutie mark had moved to his chest. It had also morphed, now having both halves of the yin-yang circle.

He turned his head towards me, wincing through the pain and mouthed something, but before I could see what he was saying, I felt a tugging sensation on my body. I was enveloped in a soft white glow, and I felt my pain and curiosity fade along with the retreating blackness.

The sunlight leaked through the blinds, directly onto my face. I squinted my eyes in an attempt to escape the unwanted rays of gold. I rolled over in bed, and felt the burning of lactic acid in my muscles.

“MPH!” I grunted.

“Jeezus! Why do my muscles hurt so bad! It's not like I used them recently!” I yelled into my pillow.

I heard muffled footsteps behind me, as well as the breaths of many creatures. I tensed, prepared to defend myself if needed, only to recognize the breathing and motion patterns of my roommates.

“Actually you have used them alot in the past couple months.” Said a deep voice.

“Yeah with all the training you have been doing, I haven’t seen anypony work that hard before. Let alone a scrawny little fella like you. But look at you now! Your big and muscular.” Said a high pitched female voice.

“You learned quick definitely.” Said another feminine voice.

I waited for the last voice, but from the subtle rustling of his jacket, I could tell that he had just nodded his head. I turned and sat up, much to my body’s dismay, and saw the entire gang situated around the bed where I currently lay. They all had smiles on their faces, some genuine, and some forced.

It looks like some people still don’t trust me, eh, can’t please everypo- WAIT DID THEY SAY MONTHS?!?

“Um did I hear you correctly? I believe you said that I have been training for the past couple months?” I asked, my voice betraying my emotionless gaze.

“Yeah, you probably don’t remember it though.” Said Nightmare, a motherly tone in her voice.

I thought she was the most annoyed with me, now she is cooing me like a mother to an injured child! Girls are really confusing.

“Um...elaborate?” I said, the words tasting oddly familiar in my mouth.

“We- well I -put your conscious to sleep, but made your body still functional. You were basically a mindless slave that would obey our orders to the best of your ability, which was often not good enough. To put a long story short, we trained your subconscious so you know what to do without thinking about it.” She replied as I got up from my bed.

“Know what to do...when?” I asked, turning back to the bed to tuck the sheets back in.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I heard the familiar windup of a hay maker from behind me. Time slowed, my mind went blank and my body reacted in fast, fluid motions. Just before the punch landed on the back of my head I ducked. I grabbed my attacker’s arm at the wrist and the shoulder and, using his arm as the pivot point, flipped him onto the mattress. I didn’t stop there, I quickly straddled his back and brought his arm along his spine until he was nearly touching the back of his head with his knuckles. Only when he and the rest of the people in the room yelled in protest did I manage to get out of my adrenaline fueled stupor.

“S-sorry Sombra, I didn’t know- I couldn’t stop myself.” I said, picking up my teammate.

TEAMMATE?!? He, and the rest of them, imprisoned you in your own mind for months! They also beat me within an inch of my life, and then banished me back into this uneventful mind of yours! Boomed a voice from my thoughts.

I clutched my head and yelled, “Get out of my head!”

“Oh are the voices bothering you again?” Asked a worried Nightmare.

I nodded and she walked over to me. She placed her now glowing horn on my bare forehead, and in a flash of blue light I felt, and heard, the voice fade.

“Who or what was that?” I asked, taking note of how Nightmare asked if it was the voices again.

“That was your old friend Darkside,” Said Discord as the others looked at him with stunned expressions, “he felt that we were pushing you too hard and resorted to violence so we made sure he wasn’t a threat.”

“Am I gonna have to deal with his yelling all the time?” I asked, me being the source of the other’s astonishment this time.

“Sadly yes, unless you keep up with the pacification spells. I can get Nightmare to teach it to you later, for now I have some explaining to do.”

“Ok then, just let me get dressed.” I replied, finally noticing that I was standing around in my boxers.

I walked out the door, oblivious to the stares given to me by my roommates, and began the short trip from the infirmary to the equipment room. I knew the route like the back of my hand, which only deepened my curiosity.

Did I do this often when I was hypnotized? I must have been really hard to teach fighting tactics, as well as any form of defense. I must have really been a pussy. Or they drove me really hard, one of the two...maybe both...

After my contemplation, I made it to my destination. The door was slightly ajar, and I walked inside. I took in the musty smell of the room, my presence causing colonies of dust bunnies to swirl about my feet. My eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light, something that I was not used to them doing. What I found made me feel like I was home, I got that warm fuzzy feeling in my chest and I couldn’t help but let loose a slight smile. I saw the same outfit that I did when I first woke up here. The same camouflage suit, the same brown cloak, the same worn leather pouches, as well as some new things. I saw some leather armor sewn into the suit, but when I approached it seemed to disappear, blending into the background.

Clever, I thought, it has the same camo spell on it as the suit, they kept the armor light, but made it sturdy enough to deflect most blows. Such craftsmanship is unparalleled...

I looked above the armor to find the familiar khukris as mesmerizing as ever, the broadsword shining brightly, casting a dim orange glow about the room. The only other thing in the room emitting light was the eerie shine of green originating from the bow. I watched it closer as I came towards it, noticing the light grow in intensity as I approached. I noticed that all of the weapons and the armor had signs of recent use, the sword and khukris had chips and dents in the blades, the body of the bow was scarred and burn and the bowstring was worn and frayed. I sighed outwardly, realizing that I had to repair and maintain all of this equipment from now on.

I looked on trying to find the quiver, only to remember the days of constant headaches from the magical backlash of the arrows. I eventually just decided to make my own arrows and put them in the quiver. The tips were made out of crystals Sombra had formed to be as sharp and arrow-like as possible, although they each still had to be sharpened, formed and fire tempered to work. I smiled at the memory of my discovery about the magical properties of the arrows.

It had been after I had mastered control over my magic, allowing me to channel it through any part of my body I wanted, although I mostly just used my hands and fingers. I was practicing my archery, when Sombra surprised me with a dinner call. Suddenly I felt my fingers fill with magic, and watched with dread as the magic drained into the arrow as I released it. The arrowhead glowed blue in mid air and when it struck, it left nothing but frozen vegetation and ice. I told Sombra of my endeavor and he praised me and taught me about the different kinds of magic and how they affected the crystals. Soon I was able to recreate and alter the effects of the arrows. I could make explosive, fire, ice, poison, flash, darkness, rope arrows, and many more. Each had a different use and each was easily accessible.

My thoughts about magic brought me back to look at myself in the mirror across the room. This was the first time I could see myself, and I looked like a different person. My hair was shorter, almost to the point of a buzz cut, my eyes now seemed to peer into my own soul. My old scrawny frame was now covered in muscles. I was still the same size, everything was just more prominent. I was leaner and stronger than I used to be. However, once you looked past the muscles, you saw something horrific. My body was covered in scars and cuts that criss-crossed in a similar fashion to Discord’s. The most prominent one was still the big white ‘C’ that stretched from my temple to my cheekbone, the one I got back on Earth. But I wasn’t paying attention to any of that.

I was too busy looking at my bare forehead. I was surprised at the fact that I didn’t have a horn. I had had one before right?

“Hey Discord,” I said to the now startled god, “where did my horn go? And how did I get it in the first place?”

“Like I told your counterpart, it's called the Chameleon Effect. Your body is not magically attuned to this world so in times of great need it will allow your body to evolve very quickly to assist the situation you are in.” He said, after quickly regaining his composure.

I made it apparent with my dumbfounded look that I had no idea what he was talking about so he explained, “Basically it means that whenever you think you are in immediate danger, you can grow either a horn or wings, and in rare cases both. And no, not being magically attuned doesn’t mean that your magic won’t work, in fact it makes it stronger because your body doesn’t know it's limits. In some cases of magical misattunement, ponies have become more powerful than even the Elements of Harmony. However that kind of power comes at a great cost to the mind and body.

I moved to question him further, but in a snap of his fingers the room lit up with white magic. I was blinded, but I could feel a sudden, and familiar, weight upon my body. The snug fit of the suit combined with the added weight of the weapons and extra armor made me feel prepared for anything. I took off the hood of my cloak and looked at him with bloodlust in my eyes and a crooked grin on my muzzle.

“Right to the point huh? Fine, what’s my mission?” I asked him.

“Kill the princesses and take Canterlot for ourselves.”

My Self-Written Prophecy

Darkness surrounded me, but this time the darkness felt...comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. It invited me to travel into it's depths, and normally I would have both out of curiosity and to test myself, but today I had a mission.

Get to Ponyville, prepare for the invasion, which is to happen in a week, find out as much info as possible in the time provided, and finally, put an end to the Sisters’ tyranny.

I chuckled to myself at the thought. No only are the two of the nicest ponies ever apparently evil dictators that made species extinct and destroyed worlds, but I was supposed to kill them when they just so happen to immortal. They aren’t able to die.

I suddenly stopped walking and realized something: this is a suicide mission! I have to get through the best security in the nation undetected and attempt to kill the most powerful ponies in the world.

Why did I agree to this...wait...why did I agree to this? I don’t owe these people anything! Well they saved my life I guess, but this is way too much to expect of somepony who you just met like a couple days ago! Well I guess it was a couple months...but I wasn’t conscious for any of it!

As I began to delve into why I had accepted this so blindly, my thoughts became disoriented and fuzzy. I couldn’t focus on anything for too long, and eventually I couldn’t think straight at all. All I could do is picture a black mist with green eyes and purple smoke.

My attempts at thinking coherently were stalled by a bloodcurdling scream. I snapped out of my stupor and, without thinking, climbed up to the roof of a nearby house and ran across the rooftops towards the source of the ear splitting sound. I arrived and put my hood up.

I watched as a bunch of bully stallions backed a yellow filly into a corner. I slowly and quietly drew my bow and an arrow. I scanned the surrounding terrain and came up with a plan. I aimed it at the farthest bully and waited for the right time to make my entrance as awesome as possible...hey can’t a guy make a good first impression?

I watched the closest stallion in the group rear his fist up, about to land a blow. I let loose my arrow, putting it on lightning. It hit it's mark, causing blue crackles of electricity to flow from the epicenter of the impact to the tips of his fingers and hooves. The blue bolts jumped from the bully’s now spasming body to the ground in large arcs.

The other two looked around frantically for their attacker. I could see the sweat beading on their foreheads, I could hear their heartbeats quicken in fear. I snickered as I let loose another arrow into the second bully, this one causing a minor explosion on contact, sending him flying into the wall of the alleyway.

The final bully finally realized where the arrows were coming from but had done so too late, for I had already jumped into the air and drawn my sword by the time he had laid eyes upon my hiding place. I landed behind him, staring at the ground so he couldn’t see my face in the dull moonlight, the glow from my blade, cascading along the walls as if there was a fire in the alley, made my entrance and demeanor even more amazing than I had originally thought. I focused my magic into my eyes, causing them to glow an evil shade of red, before finally making eye contact with the shivering stallion. He had drawn the sniveling filly in front of him and had a black stick placed on her temple.

Huh, they have guns here? Thats kinda unnecessary don’t ya think? I thought to myself, not realizing that the stallion was talking.

“W-whoever you are, stay back or I will blow her brains out! Don’t think I won't!” He said, his voice shaking subtly.

Hmm...he has dealt with these kinds of situations before huh? Thats kinda sad...sorta...nah not really. I thought, smiling evilly at the thought of him being scared shitless more than once.

From where I was standing I could get a better look at him, he was lean, like me, but lacked the definition from my intense training. He had hazel eyes that seemed to shift colors slightly in the orange glow of my blade. His mane and tail were the same colors, if a little darker. I could see he wore a black, fo-leather jacket and his cutie mark was nowhere to be seen.

He noticed me eyeing him and said, “Take another step and you will have to clean her brains out of your funky little outfit there.” He said, a little more confident when I didn’t move at his last threat.

I channeled my magic into my sword, causing it to heat to the point that is was burning the soil it lingered over. I one quick movement I stepped forward and cut off the barrel of the accursed weapon. My assailant stood there, dumbstruck at what had transpired as he dropped the filly to the ground who was, in turn, to stunned by my display of speed to move. Eventually the stallion tried to escape, only to be interrupted by my hand on his throat.

With magic coursing through my veins, I pinned my against the wall with one hand around his windpipe, cutting off nearly all oxygen from his lungs. I felt the magic in my left hand increase exponentially as I kept him in place with my right. I looked down to see light blue strands of magic coming from my hand, the magic was so intense that it caused a couple of rocks to float around the source, it being my hand.

I smiled menacingly and I looked back at the stallion, to see that he had stopped struggling and was looking at the ground, defenseless. I brought my hand up, prepared to unleash all of it's magical contents into the kid’s skull. I placed the now pulsating hand to his forehead...

“D-don’t kill ‘im mister...he d-didn’t do anythin’ bad.” Said the trembling filly beneath me.

I looked at her, even with him about to beat her, she still defends him. She seemed familiar, and comforting. After some thought I put the stallion down.

“Hmph...fine. I trust your judgement little one.” I said, slightly relieved that I had an excuse to leave him alive.

I dropped the kid in my hand and aimed my magic fueled arm at the wall and unleashed a torrent of magic strong enough to sear a message in the brick of the wall. It read:

‘He who stalks the night,

Shall kill the day,

And take their loved ones away.’

Ha! Perfect, just cryptic enough for them to be nervous til the day of the wedding, but have them crack the code when it’s too late! I thought.

Why did you just do that? Boomed a familiar voice from inside my head.

What the sparing the child or the prophecy thingy on the wall? I thought unprofessionally.

Well both I guess, sparing the kid was the right to do but to be honest I wasn’t sure if you were going to do it. It replied.

Well I did that for my own reasons, as for the prophecy, that was just for fun, because I think Twilight is so cute when she stresses over things like that. The way she gets all flustered, almost breaches embarrassed Fluttershy level of pure cuteness. I replied with a snicker.

“W-what’s so funny?” Asked the coughing stallion before me.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the voices in my head.” I replied, laughing as he looked at me with a frightened expression.

I turned and looked at the small filly, who at the moment was looking for any possible way out of her current situation, and said, “Now little one, what happened here, and why were you out here all alone out here by yourself?”

“Ah was trying to get mah cutie mark for astronomy and ah couldn’t get a good view of the stars from mah farm so ah went here to try and find a good place to set up shop, then those guys came from outta nowhere and tried to mug me!” She said, getting angrier as her story transpired.

“Hmm...based on your accent, and the mention of a farm, I would say that you were an Apple. Also, seeing your trademark bow and blood-red hair, I would say that you were the youngest sister, Applebloom.” I said, using the combination of brony knowledge and conspiracy hunting skills.

“Whoa, that was impressive...I mean thats Sherlock Hooves grade stuff.” Said the stallion who was now on his hooves.

“Now, Applebloom, you go back to your family,” I said to the filly who immediately ran from the alley towards the rolling plains beyond the quaint little town, “As for you...hmm...you don’t have a family to go home to, at least not one that cares. So you joined up with that stupid gang to feel like you have a place to belong. Along with that you have a long suppressed hate for the entire world and everypony in it. Am I right?” I asked, my arms crossed over my chest and a smug grin on my face that was hidden by my hooded cloak.

“T-that’s creepy how you do that...” He said.

That was all the confirmation I needed. I grabbed his arm and teleported to the plains just outside of the outskirts of town. By his startled yelp and the thud I heard afterwards, I could tell he wasn’t expecting that. While he gathered his senses, I used my magic to quickly set up our new home.

In minutes there were two tents set up with a firepit in between. The firepit came with a self-rotating spit and a grill for meats and things. The tents were magically enhanced so the heat would stay in better and the bugs would run away from them. They were also deceptively big, from the outside they seemed like normal sized tents, but once you entered they were as big as houses. It was impossible according to earth physics, but this was Equestria, the land that bends physics over and butt-fucks it every chance it gets.

I walked over to the now standing stallion and watched as he tried to run away from me, only to be brought back by my telekinesis. Eventually he was too exhausted to run anymore, and I couldn’t hold in my laughter either.

“Hahahaha! That was classic! Like The Three Stooges level of hilarity!” I bellowed.

“Sh-shut up.” He said between ragged breaths.

“Oh so you finally grew a backbone eh? Good your gonna need it for what I have in store for you.”

“And w-what would that happen to be?”

“You will see, but in return for this, I will give you food, water and shelter.” I said plainly.

“Wait, what?” He asked, his face a confused look.

“Yep, I’m gonna give you a second chance in life. Something that everypony deserves.” I mumbled the last part under my breath.

Aww, thats cute. You see yourself in him right? And you don’t want him to go down the path that you are?

Nah, thats too cheesy for me. I’m gonna teach him the ‘Dark Side of the Force’ as it were. I’m going to teach him how to defend himself efficiently and attack others mercilessly. Basically he is going to be a mini me. Heh thats an interesting thought...wait no! He is going to be my sidekick in crime! Haha! That’s perfect!

There is just no getting through to you is there?

Nope.

The voice in my head sighed as I gave the newcomer a tour of our new establishment

“He is ready, yes?”

“I sure hope so, cause I’m coming whether he is ready or not. Ooh that reminds me, we should play hide and seek! I want to be the hider! I’m the best at hiding!”

“Delirium.”

“Actually maybe I am the best at seeking. Hmm...I will have to think about that.”

“Delirium!”

“Ooh that reminds me, I need to visit this Twilight character, she really needs to wind down a notch, or two. Maybe even three! Ooh I love counting! My favourite number is 42! Did you know that? Oh of course you did.”

“DELIRIUM!”

“WHAT?!?”

“It's time.”

“Ooooh well then, why didn’t you just say so.”

Fear is the Key

The stars, my God, they were beautiful. There was nothing that could wrench me away from the beautiful view above me. The vast expanse of the night, everything shrouded in a seemingly mystical darkness that allowed sight, but made everything more adventurous and exciting.

The only breaks in the eternal blackness were arrays of specks of the purest light. I could see each and every star, uninterrupted by light, sound or any other kind of pollution that plagued my old home, in near perfect detail.

I could see the varying brightness of pulsars, the red hue of the giants, the impossible whites of the dwarves, even the thin strands of flares that flowed around some stars like seaweed in a strong ocean current. It was all really soothing.

I got so lost in the vortex of space that I failed to realize how much time had gone by. Before I knew it, the sun was rising, causing the dew covered grass to alight and the landscape to become a monochrome of orange.

Then sudden change in illumination almost blinded me, and left me scrambling to get to my tent in a vain attempt to relieve my eyes of the obnoxious, unwelcome color. In my panic, I had managed to wake my new companion and cause enough of a stir for the local birds to erupt into song, which did not help my tremendous headache.

“Ugh...in a couple seconds I went from watching time pass me by in bliss, to hiding from my migrane under my pillow. If this is my luck, I curse the hand that dealt me.” I grumbled into the soft fabric of the feather stuffed case.

I stayed in my prone position until I heard the soft clopping of hooves on grass approaching my tent. I hadn’t really gotten a good look at the stallion last night and I was curious to see how he looked.

At the sound of the tent flap opening I looked up and saw something that surprised me. He was wearing my clothes, and they fit! So either he had grown, or he was bigger than I thought he was.

“Whaddya make all the racket for, man? I was havin’ a good dream!” He half yawned at me.

“What are you doing wearing my clothes?” I retorted, more frustration in my voice than intended.

“Oh, when you weren’t looking I took some of your clothes and tailored them to be my size.” He responded, pride showing on his features.

“Eh, it's not bad, but it’s still nothing compared to Rarity’s prowess with a needle and thread.” I said, causing him to deflate a little.

In truth, I was actually impressed. At first glance, you would have thought that the black wife-beater and the jeans were made for his size. The stitches were hard to see unless you had a very keen eye.

Unlucky for him, my eyes were more perceptive than a griffon’s and could see every mistake. If I had understood more on the subject, I probably would have noticed even more but stitching was not my focus, killing was.

“Is this your talent?” I asked, suddenly remembering his lack of a cutie mark.

“Nah, it was my mother’s. She always made my clothes for me because it was cheaper than buying them. She made me that jacket, the leather one I was wearing last night.” He said with a sad smile.

“Real leather?” I eyed him curiously.

“Yeah.” He responded, not missing a beat.

“Where did you get it? I thought ponies were against killing animals.” I asked, as my headache began clearing up.

“My brother.” He said, his smile turning into a frown.

I felt it was time to change the subject, “Well kid, I’m only going to be here for a week, and in that week I am going to teach you things that will set you on your way to your destiny. Now, I have already wasted a night and a morning losing, and then gaining your trust. Right now I believe we are at square one. Am I right?” I looked at him expectantly, only to be met with a deadpan look.

“Lemme get this straight, you scare the shit outta me, attempt to murder me, kidnap me...AND YOU EXPECT FOR ME TO ACT LIKE NONE OF THAT HAPPENED?!?” He yelled, causing the headache to come back in full force, though now it was centered in my forehead.

“Well, I did give you room and board, as well as free education, and nourishment.” I replied flatly.

He just glared at me as I continued, “Ok maybe like square negative five, but you get what I’m saying.”

The child began yelling at me, something about taking him back home. I was too busy looking over his shoulder to notice. In the distance, just crowning the horizon, was a cloud of dust and debris. I could feel the subtle rumbling of one-hundred pairs-no-make that one hundred and one pairs-of hooves running at a speed that surpassed any bipedal creature I could think of.

Then, in a sudden fit of realization, I sprinted to the edge of our camp. I saw a familiar, if a little distorted, scene before me. Applejack was chasing a herd of cows, her dog Winona on the back of a cow opposite her.

I willed magic into my hands, and after looking and seeing the same blue strands emanating from my forearms, I plunged the appendages into the ground and grabbed.

Summoning strength from long untapped reservoirs, I pulled my arms out of the ground, bringing a giant slab of earth with it. I angled the slab so the herd of cows would be directed away from the campsite. It was too late before I realized that I had also redirected them towards the town.

“Shit!” I yelled as I ran back towards the camp.

“W-what’s going on?” The stallion asked...man I really need to get that kids name...

“Nothing, just toss me that white tape!” I yelled as I charged through the flap.

He threw it to me, the tape I used for hand-to-hand practice, and I threw it on as fast as I could because, plunging your knuckles through solid rock did not feel good.

At least this will give some cushioning...who am I kidding, I’m doing this because this is the best possible way to introduce yourself. I thought as I chased down the herd.

I channeled my magic into my hooves and ran. I ran as fast as I could, which was apparently really fast. Before I realized it, I had passed the entire herd and had made it to the town. I quickly cleared the area, causing a slight panic as I did so, and waited.

I could hear the hoofsteps of every individual cow, plus the brisk pace of the following dog. I couldn’t however make out the difference between a cows steps and Applejack’s steps.

I prepared myself for the coming stampede, hoping that Applejack wasn’t in the front. I focused all of the magic I could muster into my arms. I felt them quake with power, rocks floating around, encased in a bright blue aura. I could feel the skin start to peel off and burn in the intensity of the magic.

My skin burned, my nerves became overloaded with pure magic. Finally, when the herd had come over the horizon, I plunged my arms up to the elbows into the ground, the magic and the tape doing little to soften the sudden impact.

I began to run towards the cows, collecting more and more rocks and dirt in my arms underground. I could feel my skin rip off on a vein of ore and my shoulders dislocate slowly as I dragged my arms along. After collecting enough materials, I pulled my skinless arm out from the holes I had created and pointed them at the herd.

I unleashed the boulders I had collected at the herd with a force that matched a cannon. The boulders stopped a couple yards ahead of the cows and quickly formed into a giant wall that curved towards them like a ‘U’. I heard exclaims of surprise and fear from the herd as well as Winona and Applejack.

After the squeals and cries had diminished and I knew the town was safe, I looked at me ravaged appendages. They were more devastated than I had originally thought. My hands were eroded down to the bone in some places and there was no skin to be found anywhere below my elbows.

Instead of yelling in pain, I looked down in curiosity; the wound didn’t hurt. Before I could question it, I was swarmed by ponies, each was giving their gratitude and each didn’t notice the wounds along my arms.

Eventually a scared looking Mayor Mare and a dirty Applejack came trudging through the crowd who, after being given the Mayor’s silencing cough, had grown quiet.

“Well, hello stranger! My name is Mayor Mare, and may I just say that you are definitely a welcome sight! I wasn’t positive if Applejack here could stop the stampede in time! We sure are lucky to have you here!” She said, reaching in for a handshake.

“Yeah, we sure are glad you were here to stop that. Ah gave them cows a stern talkin’ to. They won’t run off again.” Applejack joined in.

I looked at my own hands, to their extended ones, then back at my own, “Uhh...maybe a handshake isn’t such a good idea.” I said, gesturing to my shredded forearms.

The look on the mayor’s face was priceless. She gasped in horror as her face contorted to one of absolute disgust. She began mumbling incoherently and eventually fainted, right into Applejack, who was also looking at my wounds with a sick look on her face. As soon as the two of them had realized the extent of my injuries, so had the crowd that had amassed here.

Their reactions were those of disgust, terror and some of them just hurled on the spot. It was a messy business, and it was not how I wanted my introduction to be.

(_I__..__I_)

Once we had arrived at the hospital, I was quickly escorted to the ER against my pleadings. There were ponies there that looked a lot worse than I felt, although that might have been because of the puke inducing sight of my arms. Even though I had successfully prevented them from using a stretcher to bring me to my room, they still insisted on having medical personnel at my side, prepared for the worst.

After seeing a plethora of doctors and surgeons about my medical state, I had finally calmed them down. I let the doctors know that it was a magically induced injury and that it could be healed fast, without the need to waste resources on me. All that was required for my appalling appendages was simple gauze, a medical wrap that was sterilized to prevent any kind of infection.

I sat in the hospital room I was given uncomfortably. I felt strange, like I wasn’t actually there, like I was watching myself from afar. The strange scent of cleanliness and the monotone beeping of the heart monitor didn’t help my current state of mind. I waited for the inevitable, Pinkie Pie.

I waited in silence save for the constant droning of the machines in the room. For machines that made sure you were healthy, they sure made me want to do some kind of self harm with their infuriatingly futile attempt at being a silent sentinel.

As the cacophony of monotone beeps continued, I swear I could feel my brain trying to mutilate itself. My headache had returned from before, this time it brought reinforcements. My migraine was accompanied by a sudden dizziness and blurred vision.

I stood, trying to reach the button that alerted the staff. I had a sudden fear that I was injured worse than originally thought. In my feeble attempt at walking, I tripped and prepared for the surface that was the shining white floor to impact my head.

It never came, instead I heard two voices, one was subtly underlayed with another. The second was demonic, of that I was sure, for nothing could make as angry a voice as that and be natural. I looked up, my body shaking in terror as I looked into the eyes of the long awaited Pinkie Pie, as well as another.

Her face was divided, although the separation was subtle and faded, it was definitely there. On one side was a normal Pinkie Pie, the other was occupied by a face I didn’t want to see. The other was slightly darker, as if in a room with less illumination at this. I could just barely see it's eye, for it was surrounded in shadow. The smile that spread across both of their faces was the perfect example of a paradox, for while it was warm and filled with good intent, it was also malicious and disturbing. I was looking into the faces of both Pinkie Pie, and Pinkamena Diane Pie.

Some might say that the two of them are the same pony, that they have the same tendencies, they couldn’t be more wrong. When Pinkamena takes over, Pinkie is lost. There is no trace of the fun loving party pony. Everything changes, their appearances are different, Pinkies’ trademarked ‘cotton candy’ hair is replace with straight locks of hair, even the air about her changes. The contagious smile she is known for becomes a distorted image of itself, it becomes the embodiment of terror and pain, with a strange hint of grace.

Before I could tell myself that she was harmless, I had already scrambled to the opposite corner of the room and taken a defensive fighting stance. I eyed the room for anyway of escape, the only one I found being a closed window across the room next to the hospital bed I was in just seconds ago.

“Wh-what’s wrong?” The two entities questioned, out of the same mouth.

I noticed five other ponies behind her, no doubt the rest of the Mane 6. They all had expressions of confusion of their faces, although none were as animated as Pinkie’s. She seemed scared and a little angry, her hair was slowly losing it's puffy appearance in favor of the terrifying, stock straight strands Pinkamena is known for.

I lost control of my body, fear forcing me to emit a low growl. My animal instincts took over and my rational mind was forced to watch at a distance as I leapt towards the group in the doorway, feigning an attack, before sprinting for the window. My distraction was successful as I was able to shatter the window and jump out while they were shying away in fear.

The glass shattered with a satisfying crash sound, little shards littering the air about me with rouge strains of rainbow light. The ponies on the ground looked up in shock and awe to see a pony jumping out of a third story window of a hospital, with bandages covering his arms, and a feral look upon his muzzle.

I hit the ground in a tuck and roll, coming out mostly uninjured. I say mostly because I ended up getting a compound fracture in my femur. I howled in pain, yet I still managed to hobble away from the scene.

(_I__..__I_)

I used the back roads and alleys to evade the patrolling guards. They had come to search for a possibly ‘mentally unstable’ pony who is running around unopposed. Had I not been in so much pain, I might have found that funny. Luckily, I had found a nice quiet and somewhat clean alley to rest in.

I looked down at the bone sticking out of my thigh, it's razor sharp edge sawing through muscle and skin with ease. I winced at the thought of what I had to do. I grabbed a piece of brick from the crumbling wall I was leaning against and placed it between my teeth. With that, I took off my shirt and rolled it up into a kind of rope. I tied it tight enough to slow the blood flow to the open wound. It was admittedly hard to do with tied fingers and I found myself struggling to grasp the ends of the shirt.

Once that was finished, I looked back to the bone sticking out of my leg. Clenching my teeth tighter on the piece of brick in my mouth, I grabbed the top of the bone, and the bottom of my leg, took in a deep breath, and pushed.

“ARG! MPH! GAH!” I bellowed through the stone as I relocated the bone.

I was squeezing on the brick so hard I felt it crack in two in my mouth, blood from cutting my gums on the rock flowed from in between my teeth. I threw my head back and howled into the evening air, not caring who heard. As I fought for consciousness, I looked at the wound to see that I had successfully fitted my broken femur together. I focused my magic on the wound, watching as the pieces of bone melded back together and strands of muscle and skin stretched to each other. After a couple of seconds watching what looked like two squids hugging, the wound had healed, for the most part anyways.

Suddenly I felt the familiar dizziness from the hospital. I thought that it was from exhaustion, but I was entirely wrong. As I was losing consciousness, I heard the terrifying blend of two voices to my left.

“Hey everypony I found him, and he doesn’t look too ok!” Yelled the being known as Pinkamena from right next to my ear.

Even in my fading consciousness, I threw a wild punch in her general direction, connecting instead with the wall I was leaning against, shattering the mostly decayed wall. I tried to get up, but gravity was stronger than the new muscles in my leg and I fell back down. I scooted as far away from the being as possible and raised my hand, concentrating as hard as I could to get my nearly depleted magic pools to give up just a little more. It worked as I watched my hand under the bandages slowly begin glowing blue.

Pinkie was in front of me, hands up to the sky like I had told her I was robbing her. Only, it wasn’t Pinkie, her hair was straight, her eyes filled with tears, her face filled with terror. Until suddenly, she changed, her skin got darker, like the light was taken from the alley, her face turned from one of terror, to pure bliss and joy, and her eyes lost all emotion and mercy. She had become Pinkamena.

She approached me and I let loose the magic in my hand, only for it to hit the wall. Before my senses could register it, she had slapped my arm to the side and had gotten in my face, bringing a meat cleaver from seemingly out of nowhere to my throat. The last thing I hear before consciousness leaves me is her maniacal laughter.

Evil Monsters and Nice Ponies

Familiarity. The blackness spawned familiarity, for I had come here on multiple occasions, and I recognized it as being the Realm of Dreams that people so longed to get back to every day. Me, I never understood why people wanted to go here. All it was was never ending blackness and peace. I found it boring, I much prefered the chaotic world of the living.

Wait, no I don’t! I love being at peace with myself, and being able to tune everything out so I could write. Why do I suddenly hate the silence of my sleeping mind? I thought as I began panicking.

“Well, well. Lookie what we have here. How do you think we should deal with him Aeternalis, Aeternalis? Ugh, stop messing around and inspect this pony!” Yelled a voice from the depths of the abyss around me.

“Coming Delirium! Just give me a second! I need to get ready!” The place echoing with the cacophony of moving furniture.

“Wha-who are you?” I asked, still failing to see the beings around me.

“I don’t know about this Idiot here, but I am Delirium, nice to finally meet my new home for the next couple centuries. Ooh centuries, thats a long time, we should begin furnishing the place...hmm...maybe a couch here... a Lazyboy there... a meat grinder there...” He continued his rambling as the other thing began talking.

“I’m so sorry about his behavior, but thats what he does, for as long as I remember, that is all he does.” This voice sounded almost motherly to the other.

“Uh it's okay I guess...but where are the two of you? I can’t see anything.” I asked.

“Oh right, hey Delirium what did you do to his eyeballs?” Asked the feminine voice.

“Oh right, sorry uh...hmm...eyeballs...right,” I heard a disgusting squelching sound that made me want to hurl along with a slick popping noise and suddenly I could see.

What I saw did not please me. We were in a black room, the walls were shiny and chipped away like it was made of obsidian. Everything was slightly reflective, so there were millions of copies of the creature in front of me, each looking at an impossible angle so their eyes were trained on soley me.

The creature would have scared me, had it not looked completely ridiculous. The beast was seven foot tall, had a human body structure, and it's skin was made entirely out of burlap. The burlap was tinted a slight orange in the other worldly glow of the room, but I could still see the designs of eyes and way too wide grins in random places along his body. He was not wearing any clothes over the burlap, but he didn’t need to, it was just keeping the pure evil he was made of together. His head was shaped in a way so he looked like he was wearing a witch’s hat without the brim. It came to a point about a foot above his head. His eyes were black pits that sucked you in when you looked at them. Black mist swirled mystically about his feet as he leered over me. Overall, he looked like a giant lawn gnome made out of a potato sack. His companion was nowhere to be found and I looked about curiously in search of the female voice I had heard.

“Come now, daughter, lets not leave our guest waiting any longer.” Said the giant beast before me.

Suddenly from behind the demon, came the most beautiful are I had ever seen. Her mane was a dark grey, her coat being similar in color, if a little lighter. Her eyes were hypnotizingly brilliant. They were of the brightest gold, and suddenly I didn’t care where I was, I just wanted to be with her.

“Hehe, I think he likes you.” Said Delirium, causing a blush to appear on both mine and her faces.

“D-dad! Stop that, we came here to tell him what was happening from now on, don’t get distracted.” She said, slugging him lightly in the shoulder.

“Me, don’t get distracted? You don’t get distracted! You're the one making lovey dovey eyes at him, not me! But anyways yes, we need to talk.” He said, her blush deepening.

Delirium snapped his fingers and two rocks jutted out of the ground next to us, I took a seat and he began to explain how things would be from now on, “Now, I’m going to bestow upon you, wondrous powers beyond your comprehension. Well, actually I already have. I have enhanced your magic past that of even the Goddesses, however, you can only use this magic at times of extreme distress, for it will cause you much pain. Also, I have heightened your senses far past the norm, I have made you able to withstand strong blows although you still feel every bit of them. I think that’s it...hmm...yeah thats it so far. I might give you some more as we go on.”

“Wait, what? Okay, I get that you gave me special powers, but I have some questions that need answered.” I said sternly.

“Okay kiddo, shoot.” He said calmly.

“First off, what do you want from me to give me all of these powers?”

“Well, we are kinda in your head right now and I need for you to stay alive so we can live.”

“Okay next, who is that?” I gestured to the beautiful mare in the corner of the room who was eyeing me carefully.

“Thats my daughter, her real name is...unpronounceable to your species, the closest thing you can get is Aeternalis.”

“Allie, you can call me Allie!” She interrupted him, rushing over to where we were talking.

“Alright, Allie it is. Also, I know that you want more than just a body to live in. What do you really want?” I asked, eyeing Delirium cautiously.

“Welp, you caught me! Really, I just want to watch you kill Celestia, that bitch has been interrupting my plans for eons! That and I need for you to find my daughter a proper body, one that is in excellent condition, and is easily controlled. So no paralyzed old coots and no energetic little squirts. Just a normal, healthy adult mare.”

“Uh...how is that going to work?”

“I have my ways, and no worries, the pony won’t be harmed. Unless you want it to be.” He noted with a smirk.

“Okay, whatever. I just need to get back, I think Pinkamena has me.” I said, a sudden dread filling my mind.

“P-Pinkamena!?! How is she here, alive no less! Unless...is she pink one with the poofy hair?” Asked Delirium, suddenly anxious.

“Uh who?” I asked dumbly.

“The person Pinkamena hides in! Does she, or doesn’t she fit the description?” He continued, becoming more fidgety by the second, I noticed that Allie was just standing there slack-jawed at the information she had just learned.

“Mom is alive? Is she looking for me? Oh I can’t wait to see her again, it has been so long!” She squealed,rushing over to me, oh god, I even found that cute.

“Um I don’t know, but I need to get back now, maybe later I will begin to process this stuff, but for now I might just die if I don’t get back and that would be bad for everypony, so if you don’t mind, I really need to get back now.” I pleaded.

“Okay fine, whatever, I need to think about this...” Said Delirium as he began rubbing his temples.

(_I__..__I_)

I woke with a start, much like when I first arrived in Equestria. Only this time, I was strapped to a metal operating table with Pinkamena looking at me, and boy did she look pissed off.  The light was nearly blinding, yet I couldn’t see anything past her face, she was wearing the same outfit I last saw her in, if it was a little bit muddy. Same pink shirt, same baby blue overalls.

I would have struggled against the restraints that held me in place, had my rational mind not kicked in and told me to calm down. I analyzed the situation. I was in a room, most likely secluded and sound proof. From what I could see, there was no exit. Beyond that, I could not tell for the light prevented me from seeing the rest of the room.

“Who are you?” Asked Pinkamena after seeing the I had come to.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes I would, and quite frankly I don’t really care for your safety, only the knowledge you are about to bestow upon me. So, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.” After a brief pause, I heard a loud bang and out of the corner of my eye I could see her grabbing, and attempting to lift a giant hammer.

“Are you quite done? I have things to do and places to be and this little inconvenience isn’t helping my schedule.” I asked, acting annoyed.

“Grr! Shut up!” She growled as she once again tried to lift the hammer.

“Okay, now that’s just rude! I accept the hostility towards me as retaliation for my previous actions, however, that doesn’t mean that you can get mad at me for having a normal life with a normal schedule to keep!” I said, still trying to fluster her so she wouldn’t notice my escape.

“You didn’t just make a bad entrance, you made Pinkie cry by looking at her with such a disgust that I thought you could see dead ponies.” She continued, giving up on her escapade with the hammer.

She walked past me and she looked out what I assumed was a window of sorts. I took the opportunity, and picked the locks on my restraints with magic. All the while stalling her with stupid small talk.

“Oh, well if that’s the case couldn’t I just say sorry?” I finally said, once the locks were undone.

“No! No you have to pay for making her cry!” She said with determination, though still not turning around.

I quickly teleported right behind her and said, “Well I’m sorry to hear that,” before charging my hand with magic and grabbing her in the crook of her neck.

She fell limp and nearly struck her head on the ground had I not caught her. Carefully, as to not wake her up, I dragged her body back over to the table I was just in, and placed her on the cold unforgiving surface.

“Magic powered Vulcan Neck Pinch, I might need to use that more often.” I said aloud with a slight chuckle.

I checked to make sure I hadn’t hurt her, and searched quickly for a exit for I had no idea when she was going to awaken. I certainly do not want to be in the same enclosed space as an enraged Pinkamena.

I checked every nook and cranny, under all of the furniture and behind the various things on the walls, there was no way out that I could see. The walls seemed clean and were lacking any formation of cracks whatsoever. I eventually allowed myself to quietly and subtly blow a gaping hole in the wall in a random direction, hoping that the wall didn’t conjoin with an orphanage or an old folks home.

Luckily, it didn’t and the wall came down with a hardly audible rumble with assistance by way of my telekinesis. I half limped, half slinked out of the building and into an alley. Where I had expected to come out behind Sugarcube Corner, I had in fact come out of an old, abandoned looking building that was currently being patrolled by battalion of guards who were set on high alert.

Oh great, I thought, what should I do now?

Don’t let them get to my mother! They will surely kill her! Came the familiar voice of Allie from in my thoughts.

Alright then, lets teach these guys a lesson in privacy. I thought in response, a familiar bloodlust settling in.

I crept into the shadows and surveyed the scene. There were boxes of large wooden crates forming a sort of maze. Each crate was about a story tall and there was often two stacked upon each other. It was dark out, there was only a sliver of a moon in the sky. What little light that shone, was reflected quite clearly on the vibrant reds of the guards’ armor. I had come out of some giant brick building that looked like a warehouse, tall windows stretched from the second story to the heavy galvanized iron roofing. Large doors, with a similar construct, spread from end to end of the building. The hole in the wall I had emerged from seemed to be the only way of entry.

Like a way too easy ‘noir’ game. I thought, a grin spreading across my muzzle.

I jumped to the top of a pile of crates, the necrotic boards creaking, threatening to break from under me. I took position, I watched as the group of about eighteen guards split. There were three teams of six, each with five guards ponies each, leading the groups were three captains. Their armor decorated with various stripes and dents, showing their experience with each imperfection.

As I silently contemplated the best way to go about slaughtering the three groups, a captain led his squad in my direction. I put the bricks in a pile covering the wall’s new gaping maw. They slowly clambered over the ruined remnants of ancient boxes and bricks. Eventually their routine marching brought them to the pile I had just moved. I held my breath, waiting to see if they would notice the slight adjustment in the structure’s foundation. The captain called for a halt, and the squad obeyed, uniformly stopping their rhythmic march. I quickly reacted, using my magic to tip over the crate I was standing on. It fell with a sickening crunch, and the loud banging of metal against metal, as the crate crushed the guards ponies where they stood.

The captain was just out of reach of the crate, and came out unscathed. He was knocked forward by the bits of debris and face planted into the side of the building. I ran up to him and picked his up by the back of his throat. I slammed him against the wall, getting a solid clang and a pained grunt for my efforts.

I laughed maniacally to the air, my bloodlust clouding my judgement. I grabbed the captain by the back of his collar and by his leg, not caring who heard me, I threw my head back and let loose a guttural roar into the black of the night. I pulled with all my might, listening with sick delight as I heard the captain’s joints begin to pop and his muscles stretch. At first he was grunting at my efforts, but now the captain was full out bellowing in pain, trying with all his might, although his efforts were fruitless, to get out of my iron grip. I yanked harder, hearing the joints along his leg pop out of their sockets. In retaliation, the captain jerked his head back and screamed, no doubt alerting the other two squads of my presence.

His scream of pure agony sent my over the edge, I pulled with all my might, finally feeling the tissues in his body tear and break. I looked up at the sound of skin tearing to be greeted by a marvelous sight. The captain was barely alive, and was almost cut in two. His torso was only attached to his pelvis by a few strands of flesh. His guts, falling out of the gaping hole in his body, cascaded down onto my bare shoulders, staining them red with his blood which was spewing from the tear like a fountain. I tossed him to the side, not caring about staying quiet any longer, I had myself some ponies to annihilate.

I looked down at myself, seeing my forearms shudder and shake, and my jeans, riddled with new cuts and holes, were stained a dark crimson. I couldn’t see myself, but I knew that upon my muzzle was one of the most terrifying smiles anypony could muster. I looked to my left and, seeing the two remaining squads running at me, weapons drawn, I did what any other insane pony would do, I stood there and laughed. It wasn’t an evil laugh, no it was a jolly laugh that somepony would expect to come from and old stallion, it even brought tears to my eyes.

The guards hesitated, looking at each other suspiciously before returning their gaze to me, or where I was that is. I was already in a full magically enhanced sprint at them, my fist reared back and aimed at the closest pony in the group who appeared to be a mare, sucks for her. By the time they realized what happened, my fist had already made contact with her jaw at supersonic speed, decapitating her in the process. The resulting shockwave forced up a bunch of dust and cracked the ground beneath me, as well as sending the nearby ponies in various directions.

I paused a second to contemplate, What came first, the cantaloupe as in the fruit, or the cantaloupe as in the animal?

I returned to the realm known as reality by way of a blissful scream of rage. I shook my head and looked around to see a distraught stallion kneeling over the lifeless form of the mare I had just killed.

“Aw, isn’t that cute, the beast cares for the beauty. Here, let me give you a hand with that.” I said with a voice that wasn’t my own.

The stallion looked back up at me as I began walking towards him, in one smooth movement, he drew his sword placed himself between me and the body. He roared in defiance before charging at me blindly. I sidestepped his swings and punched him right in his chest. It took the both of us by surprise when I felt my hand wrapped around his spinal cord. Wasting no time, I pulled my arm out, his spine in tow, and killed him quickly. I dropped the body and looked back at the rest of the battalion, noticing their looks of disbelief at the feat I had just committed. In truth I was surprised myself, I didn’t know that I could punch straight through their armor like that, as well as their ribcages and most of their major organs. I was very happy at that, they however, weren’t.

I killed in a blind fury, each kill more gruesome than the last. I snapped one’s neck, another I disemboweled, two I beat with their own limbs, and it just got worse from there. During the whole escapade, I was howling in mad laughter as the blood of the fallen flowed over me like a crimson river. The flash of swords and blades, the sound of blood gushing from various wounds and the feeling of bloodlust all blended together into one giant tornado of slaughter and pain.

I eventually came out of my high when they stopped being much of a challenge. It was down to two ponies, one of whom looked like he had just shit himself for every kill I had achieved. The other looked defiant, like he could still win this fight. He was sadly mistaken as I used his comrades’ swords to pin him to a crate before leaving him to bleed out.

The last guard did something that I didn’t expect. Where I thought he was going to either run, or attempt to kill me, he simply kneeled before me and hung his head before taking off his helmet and tossing me his sword. I looked at the sword and at him alternatively. I felt confused, did he want me to kill him? I couldn’t tell for sure, but as I got a closer look at him I realized something else. The guard was a kid, no older than fifteen. He had a mane and tail that were both an eerily familiar shade of brown. I walked up to him and lifted his chin, nearly jumping back at the revealing sight of two piercing hazel eyes.

“What are you doing here kid? I thought I left you at the camp! Why are you in the military all of a sudden?” I began asking, my voice suddenly returning to normal.

“What? It's you! How? I thought you left!” He responded, flustered at my change in demeanor.

“No I didn’t leave, geez kid I was only gone for a couple of hours, I thought you could handle yourself for that long.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You were gone for three days. I did handle myself for that long until my mom found me again and sent me to the military academy, this was a training exercise until you decided to jump in and kill everypony!” He deadpanned.

“Whoa three days! I need to get on with the mission! C’mon kid, you’re comin’ with me.” I said, grabbing him by the wrist.

“No I’m not! I don’t even know you, you kidnapped me and made me go to a military academy, and even through all that, you still try to be some kind of father figure or something, well let me tell you, you fucking suck at it! You killed what few friends I had just now, and if I go back I will be patronized for not being able to protect myself or my team so you might as well kill me.” He said in defeat.

“Whoa...I never thought of it like that...ok kid fine whatever. I don’t even care.” I said, lifting the sword off of the ground.

I walked over to where he was still kneeling and placed the blade on the crook of his neck. I took in a deep breath as he did the same, and I lifted the blade over my head.

Wait, why am I being so nice about this! Hehe screw killing him quickly! I thought maniacally.

I took a step back and took a look at the blade. It seemed sharp enough for my purposes. I grinned and went around to his back.

“Wha-what are you doing? Aren’t you going to kill me?”

“Oh yes, but not quickly or cleanly. No, I will definitely kill you, but slowly and painfully.” I said, my voice once again fluxuating to a more evil tone.

Before he had the chance to respond, I lashed out with the sword, cutting just under the skin. He screamed in pain, I did it again, this time making sure to cross the original line. I did this repeatedly, and each time I got a howl of pain for my efforts. By the time I was done, his back looked like it was a plate of uncooked, bloody, chicken fingers. I one last swipe of the blade, I cut his torso clean in half from shoulder to hip, and watched as it slowly slid off.

Finding my bloodlust sated, even if temporary, I placed the sword back on the ground and walked in a random direction, hoping it was the right way home. As I stumbled along the dark path that, hopefully, led me back to the quaint town of Ponyville, I slowly remembered what happened before I had lost consciousness. Something involving me jumping out of a five story building to get away from Pinkie. I looked down at my right leg, noting how I didn’t even notice that it was broken not four days ago. There was a tear in my jeans where the bone had broken through the fabric, I couldn’t see the scar that had surely appeared under the thick crust of blood that covered nearly my entire body.

I looked at my torso and forearms, each was covered in the blood of those innocent ponies I had just slaughtered for no real reason. I clenched my fists, shaking my head at the realization of what I had just done. I had just killed, repeatedly, and had felt nothing of it. Not even now, I didn’t feel bad about it, I didn’t regret my decision. If I were to be put in that same situation again, I probably would still have done it. According to the laws and rules of society, I should feel pain, regret and remorse for my actions, yet I felt nothing. This confused me endlessly as I pondered it well into the night. I didn’t even notice my arrival at my destination until I was back in my own bed and was drifting off into the realm of dreams.

It was then that I realized the answer to the question that had been bothering me for some time now, "It was cantaloupe, the fruit that came first, how could I be so silly as to think it was the other way 'round." I only hoped now that my sleep would come uneventful and my dreams would be peaceful.

I'Mmortal

Fwoosh! BOOM! CRACK!

I couldn’t differentiate one sound from another, the ringing in my ears made it hard to hear anything let alone tell if my spell had worked. The thing that ended up confirming that my spell had worked was the sudden scream of the fillies followed by whimpering and crying as well as the searing pain and heat.

That did confuse me a little, If my spell worked correctly, why was I in pain? My spell should have made a wall or shield of some sort to block the blast.

It wasn’t until the barrage upon my senses stopped and I could finally register what had happened. What I found was both a relief and an annoyance. The spell misfired in my adrenaline fueled haste and instead I had become the shield, shoving the fillies behind me and my cape as the fireworks were lit and exploded in my face. The damage as far as I could see seemed minimal, the armor doing it's job well in protecting its wearer. The only problem was, I couldn’t feel myself from the chest up, almost like I wasn’t there. I looked up from my kneeling position, that I had gone into at some point, to see the fillies rushing to their loved ones, except for a certain, orange pegasus with purple hair that was standing in front of me, staring like I was some freak at the circus.

“Scoots! Get away from that stallion! He’s way too dangerous for you to handle!” Yelled the cyan pegasus...why did all of these ponies seem so familiar, I wasn’t sure, but I thought that I knew them somehow.

“Why, he hasn’t done anything too bad? As a matter of fact, he just saved Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and I, so he should be rewarded for his efforts!” The filly yelled back.

When the filly had her head turned away from me, addressing five other ponies that I just couldn’t manage to make out, I reached out and grabbed her hand. It wasn’t a forceful grab, it was one filled with thanks and appreciation. At first she yanked her hand back, startled by the sudden contact, then she saw my, what I hoped was a, soft smile, she smiled back and pulled me up by my outstretched hand. I got up, wobbly at first but the one called Scoots helped me along the way towards where my bag and guitar were. The cyan pegasus stood there, malice in her eyes, in her fighting stance, as I reached for my crushed guitar with sadness in my eyes. My bag however was still intact thankfully, that blast would have torn it apart, so I guess I had something to thank the pegasus for.

With a nod of my head and the removal of my hood, burnt from the explosion, I headed towards the amassing crowd, led by none other than Pinkamena Diane Pie. Suddenly, my head felt fuzzy again, just like in the hospital, this time though, I had Scoots to lean on so I wouldn’t collapse. My body wanted to run, and it took all of my concentration to not let that happen.

“You are under arrest for attempted assault upon the Elements of Harmony.” Yelled a gold clad guard with a spear.

“Technically, I never had the intention to do anything except run from Pinkamena, but whatever, I’ll do my time as long as it's no longer than three days, I have things I need to do.” I replied smartly, receiving the butt end of the spear to the face for my comedic efforts.

“Hey now! There is no need to be rough here! He never even came close to harming us, he just startled us enough to escape the room while we were admittedly blocking the only other exit.” Said the purple unicorn, causing the guard to back down, albeit cautiously.

The same unicorn walked up to me, saying, “We thank you for your assistance...hmm...hey Applejack, isn’t this the same pony that helped your sister that one night three days ago? He seems to fit the description quite well.”

“Huh, ah guess so Twi, he sure does seem mighty close to lookin’ like what mah sister said. Is it the same pony Applebloom?” She asked the yellow filly, pink bow swaying in the evening breeze.

“Yeah he does! Ah never got to properly thank ya mister! So, thanks for the save, it’s much appreciated!” She said, running up to me and giving me a quick hug.

“Your welcome, now if you wouldn’t mind, I believe I would like to see a doctor of some sort, I’m not quite feeling myself at the moment...” As I said this, I felt a massive headache wash over me.

I clenched my head and, as I was escorted towards the hospital, saw Pinkie looking at me with a look of terror on her face, tears accompanying the whiteness her face became. I sent her a look that made it seem like I knew more than I was letting on, hopefully she would come to my room later and I could explain my earlier actions.

(_I__..__I_)

The doctors told me it was a minor concussion and that I could leave in a day or two. The guards confiscated my weapons and armor, thankfully Rarity was nice enough to make me clothes for when I could get out of these appalling rags the hospital had placed me in. The longer I stayed in the hospital, the more knowledge I gained about these ponies and their habits. My memories began coming back. I knew all about Twilight and the other Elements, I knew about Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo, Angel, Winona, Tank, whatever Rarity’s cat’s name is, Gummy, Owlicious, everypony and every animal in this town I knew at least a little bit about them, and I had no idea how. I remembered doing some research about this town and the Elements for the mission, but the things I knew were personal things that nopony but a select few could possibly know, and it was strange.

The doctors had managed to shed me of the crowd, all of them were gone except for the CMC and the Elements as well as the mayor. The CMC hugging me every chance they got, later being torn off by their siblings, except Scootaloo who simply hung onto my right arm, eyeing me carefully. I smiled at the filly as warmly as I could, something inside me nearly squealing in joy at her touch.

As the rest of the ponies in the room were talking about possible compensation for my actions, I was thinking back as far as I could, trying to find out how I knew so much about these ponies. I hadn’t realized I was still staring at Scootaloo until she subtly squeezed my arm, causing me to snap out of my trance. She looked into my eyes, seemingly into my soul. Her expression was simply one of worry, her smile combined with her slightly tilted head asking if I was okay. With a comforting smile that portrayed that I was alright, I looked back at the group of ponies in the room, the fillies jumping around yelling about superheros and the like.

Shaking my head I asked, “Hehe, those two are certainly dreamers aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they're normally the brains of our little crusades, my ideas barely made it to the drawing board.” Scootaloo replied with a sad smile.

“Oh really? They couldn't have been that bad. Tell me some of your ideas.” I continued, determined to get her out of her emotional stupor.

“Well, there was shark wrestling, spelunking, cliff jumping, skydiving, rockstars-” She began.

“Rockstars eh? Well maybe I can help you with that.” I said, a grin forming on my face.

“Hey Mayor Mare, do you think somepony could fix my guitar?” I asked.

“Your what now?” A confused look plain across her features.

“The stringed instrument I was carrying with me here, the one that was broken from the unfortunate accident that involved the setting off of fireworks in my face.” I said, giving a look towards Rainbow.

“Oh that thing? We aren't even sure what it was supposed to look like, let alone how to reconstruct it,” She said sadly, but upon seeing my defeated expression she continued, “But, if anypony could do it, Vinyl Scratch could.” Smiling at my happy expression.

“Alright then squirt, after my guitar gets fixed, I'll perform a couple of my own songs for you.” I said, drawing a couple stares from the ponies in the room.

“So, where does Mrs. Scratch reside? Somepony please tell me it's close for, I’m not in the best condition.” I said, changing the subject.

“I think she actually lives here in Ponyville, I can check the records, see for sure.” Said the mayor before leaving with a nod of her head.

Upon her leaving, the Elements looked at me strangely. They each shared a glance, slightly nodding in the direction of the trio of fillies in the room. Much to the chagrin of the children, the Elements ushered them out of the room and to their respective homes. All except for Scootaloo who simply hung her head slightly and left on her own, her eyes never leaving the ground.

“Does that child have a home?” I asked, offering a sad look in her direction.

“No, her parents were part of a conspiracy to overthrow Princess Celestia so they were tried and exiled from Equestria when she was just a filly.” Answered Twilight.

“Does she know this?” I continued, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“No, not entirely anyways, but enough about her, who are you, where did you come from, why did you come here-” She would have kept going if Rainbow Dash hadn’t shoved her hand over Twilight's mouth, stopping her spiel abruptly.

“My name is Deuce, I came from the Everfree Forest where I have lived for as long as I can remember, I came here for personal reasons involving my current situation.” I answered, their expressions changing as I spoke.

“Wait, wait, wait, you lived in the Everfree Forest!?! As in the most dangerous place in all of Equestria?” Asked a disbelieving Rainbow Dash.

“Thats quite a claim Mr. Deuce, however in order for us to believe this, we will need some proof.” Said Rarity.

I stood up, ignoring their sudden exclamations and slightly hostile stances and unbuttoned my shirt carefully as to not disturb my broken ribs. The girls averted their eyes, all except for Rainbow who was seemingly ogling at my muscular figure.

The girls kept their eyes hidden, blushes forming on their faces when Rainbow blurted out, “Hot!” Before clapping her hands over her mouth and blushing profusely.

Curiosity eventually taking over them, the rest of the Elements, in turn, looked at my shirtless figure and though their reactions were at first similar to Rainbow’s, one by one they began noticing the hundreds of scars across my frame. Fluttershy began to cry, followed closely by Rarity who was beside herself. Applejack simply took off her hat as a sign of respect and Twilight placed a hand over her mouth before taking notice on the symbol on my chest. Rainbow just looked on, an unreadable expression on her face.

“What’s this thing here? This symbol, what does it mean?” She asked, pointing to the yin-yang on my chest.

“That is my cutie mark, it represents my wish to acquire balance, balance between body and mind, good and evil, light and dark, balance between all opposites so to create true harmony.” I said, having thought about the meaning for a long time.

With that, Twilight’s eyes went wide with what seemed like realization when she suddenly sprinted out the door, yelling something about writing a letter to the princess. Her friends soon followed her. Upon their departure, I called the nurse.

“Yes Mr. Deuce? What is it?” She asked monotonously.

“I was wondering where the child Scootaloo went after being escorted home earlier.” I replied.

“Oh she went to the town orphanage, it’s a couple houses south and west of the library.”

“Okay then, thanks.” I said before sending her off and turning off the lights and going to sleep.

Hey, where is PInkie? I thought as sleep shrouded my senses.

Bonding Through Trauma

I woke up still on the hospital bed, my burns and broken ribs feeling exponentially better. I stood and was surprised at my lack of pain felt in the motion. I briskly walked to the pile of clothes that Rarity was generous enough to provide me with in such a short notice. I suddenly felt bad for these ponies, they had no idea that they were housing an assassin instructed with killing their rulers. Ignoring the pain that suddenly racked through my brain, I began my morning routine. I thought extensively about the plan, riding it through start to finish with many different scenarios and many different outcomes. I quickly flashed a look at the calendar that hung loosely next to the door.

Ok, two days left, I really need to stop getting injured so I can actually do my job. I thought with a low grunt.

After finishing running through scenarios in my head, I performed a full body scan to see the full extent of my injuries. A bruised rib and some minor burns were the only things that showed up.

Huh, their medical knowledge is very advanced even when compared to the hospitals back home- My thoughts were interrupted as I saw what seemed to be towering expanses of metal and strange carriages moving at lightning speeds.

Suddenly there was a flash and I knew what everything was, I looked around and could recognize my street where I lived in the asylum, I could see my bus stop for school. I looked down at myself to see I was back in my own body, my fur gone along with any and all scars I had acquired. I blinked and I was on an operation table, I couldn’t tell entirely what was happening and I tried to move, only to be held down by some kind of restraints. I tried to struggle against them, only to get a burning sensation along my spine.

After the pain had subsided, I began to study the room yet found that I couldn’t. Every time my eyes passed from one thing to another I would immediately forget what the first thing was. It frustrated me endlessly until I saw somepony staring at me. I couldn’t make out most of their features but I could tell it was a female, and judging by the way she held herself, she was high class.

“What are you doing?” My mouth moved on it's own accord.

“Somni Immemor Foederis.” The figure responded, her regal voice floating into my ears before everything became a blur.

I could no longer see anything but blobs of color, muffled sounds were the only thing perforating the ringing I heard in my head.The ringing got so intense that I had to clench my eyes shut as to not pass out from the sheer pain that came with it. Then the ringing stopped and everything was silent. I opened my eyes to darkness and a strange pressure on my chest. In the darkness, I could hear one last thing that echoed through my mind.

“File 874260.” Was all it said.

I woke up in a haze, my ears still ringing from the mysterious ordeal. As my senses recovered, I realized what the weight on my chest was. Somepony was straddling my stomach, leaning onto my chest, hands placed just above my heart. Blood was leaking from between her fingers, the red coloring her yellow fur a rusty orange. There was no pain and I felt strangely calm. I looked up at Fluttershy's blue eyes, wide with panic, and grasped her hands in mine. She retracted in shock, her eyes instantly leaving the wound in my chest only to lock her gaze with my own. With her hands out of the way, I could properly inspect the wound.

There was a stab wound in my chest, an inch above my heart. The wound, without any pressure to keep it closed, began to spout blood, splattering all over Fluttershy’s torso. She didn’t even flinch, she was too busy staring at her blood stained hands, a look of pure terror on her face. I also noted a familiar kitchen knife on the floor next to me, blood pooling around it.

I began to feel light headed, the rational side of my brain screaming at me to heal the wound. So, without hesitation, I charged my hands with magic before bringing them to rest over the wound, the fountain of red ceasing almost instantly followed by an immediate sense of relief as my body relaxed.

Continuing on my current streak of daily life I should be dead in about...two days? I thought with a laugh.

I look back at Fluttershy to see she hasn’t moved, a panicked look still plastered on her face, her eyes glued to the red streaks flowing down her arms.

Must be hemophobia...I should probably help her shouldn’t I? I thought again, half expecting an answer.

I walk over to Fluttershy’s shuddering form and crouch next to her. I feel an urge to bring her into a hug, pat her on the back and tell her it's all okay. Following my instincts, I lightly embrace her, comforting her as well as I could. Eventually she accepts the embrace, hugging me back tightly and crying into my shoulder, her fingers raking across my back with each choked sob.

“It’s going to be alright Fluttershy. Nothing is going to happen to you, you’re safe here.” I said, trying as hard as I could to comfort her.

After she calmed down a bit, I proceeded to pick her up like a child before asking, “Alright, lets see if we can’t get this blood off you is that okay?”

After feeling a slight nod from her on my shoulder, I carried her to the bathroom where, conveniently, there was a shower, ready to use. I brought her in before setting her down in the tub.

“Do you want any help?” I asked before exiting the door.

She said nothing, she only nodded in confirmation. I groaned internally, this was going to be an awkward morning. I helped her take off her blood soaked clothes, stopping at her undergarments, and threw them in the sink to deal with later. I turned on the shower and adjusted the water to her preference before taking my leave.

“Wait...” She called from behind, “d-don’t leave me...”

I smiled, I couldn’t help it, it was just too adorable, “Alright then, I’ll be right here if you need me.” I said, returning to the shower, sitting on the toilet next to it before closing the curtains.

After a while of listening to the sounds of water splashing, I went to look at myself in the mirror. My new shirt was stained along with my new jeans. I sighed, taking off my shirt as I did so before throwing it into the pile in the sink. I looked at the wound in my chest, now just a scar to add to the collection.

I hear a barely audible whisper come from the shower, “C-could you help me...” Fluttershy whimpered, still feeling the effects of the shock.

“Y-yeah, sure.” I said, silently loathing myself.

I hated Fluttershy, her shyness, her fear of everything, her profession, they were all horrid in my opinion, and now I’m helping her wash off in the shower? Possibly one of the most intimate things I’ve ever done in my life and it's with somepony I hate, and why is she so cute all of a sudden?

I sighed, opening the curtains. I was surprised at what I saw, Fluttershy hadn’t moved, she wasn’t phased by the constant bombardment of water over her, she was stock still. For some reason, I was very worried for her.

WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?! I thought, I hate her! I’ve always hated her, I’ve hated her since...since when? Since she cried for no reason that one day? No, before that...but I hadn’t seen her before that, I hadn’t seen anypony in this town before that day yet...I know so much about them...more than can be found out through simple reconnaissance...how do I know them...

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt something grab my hand. I looked down at Fluttershy to see her staring at me, I could see what she wanted to say.

“You’re welcome.” I said.

She smiled a bit, slowly standing up and turning around, gesturing to her perfectly clean back.

“Your back doesn’t have anything on it-” I began.

“Just clean it off...please.” She pleaded.

STOP! I know what you’re trying to do! You’re trying to manipulate my feelings! That’s it! Of course! What else can it be! You were told by the princesses to...get...close...to...me...

My thoughts became slurred as she looked at me over her shoulder, her cheeks a bright hue of orange, her eyes avoiding mine as much as possible. Thats when I realized just how hard this was for her as well, she is placing a huge amount of trust in somepony she just met the previous day as well as being in her most vulnerable state. I then realized that I was basically ogling at her as I felt my cheeks begin to burn. I robotically grabbed the soap and began the very awkward action of washing off her back, my face a bright shade of red.

After a couple of minutes, we became used to the fact that we were both half naked and I was washing her. I made sure to stay away from especially sensitive locations so I wouldn’t be accused of trying to cop a feel. I began to analyze the situation. If anypony found us it would be embarrassing true, but easily clarified, as long as this didn’t go any farther.

That’s when I heard the nurse at the door, “Hello? Patient 31? Are you in there?”

Both me and Fluttershy froze, my current grip on her shoulders tightening forcing her to make a small squeak. I glared at her, as she sheepishly mouthed sorry.

“Uh, yeah I’m about to get in the shower, what is it?” I asked.

“I’m here to check your vitals and check how you are overall. Can I come in?” She asked as she began to open the door.

I rushed over to shut it, succeeding just before she could get in, “What? N-no! Im naked  and about to get in the shower! Go away before I call your boss and tell him about you sexually harassing me!” I yelled, desperate to get her to run away.

“N-no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! Don’t tell him please! I’m leaving, I’m leaving!” She yelled back as I heard the clopping of hooves on tile get farther away.

I turned back towards Fluttershy, letting out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I returned to washing all of the blood off her, her yellow fur making it especially hard.

“Why did you squeak when the nurse was here?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me.

“You tightened your grip on my shoulder and it felt...really good...” She said, the last part coming out as little more than a whisper.

I grinned evilly, placing my hands upon her shoulders again and pressing hard, “Oh, you mean like this?”

“Oh yeah...” She quietly moaned.

I continued massaging her moving down her back slowly, eliciting small squeaks and moans as I went. Eventually reaching her wings, I hit an extremely sensitive spot just under where the wings connect with the back and she went limp. I had to jump into the shower to prevent her from hitting her head.

The shower now soaking me as we stood there, me holding her in my arms like something from out of a romantic movie when the guy does a dip while dancing with the girl of his dreams and they stare into each others eyes. There was a piece of her beautiful, silky hair in the way of one of her eyes. I subconsciously moved it as I felt a burn in my cheeks and a smile on my face she wrapped her arms around my neck, presumably for stability, until she showed her true intentions when she pulled herself up and into a kiss.

I was stunned, my brain screaming at me to stop, to turn around and walk away for my own good because I had a mission to perform. My body however was egging me on, telling me to forget the mission and be happy for the first time in my life.

I never got to choose sides. Fluttershy broke the kiss, her eyes wide, her face flushed as she shoved me off, nearly causing me to crack my skull on the tile floor, before she grabbed her clothes and a towel, flying out the door and out the window.

I laid there, trying to understand what had just happened. I resorted to my default way of looking at things, analyzing the situation to find the best and most logical way to react. I felt sad, happy, angry, confused, but under it all there was an emotion I haven’t felt in a really, really long time.

Love.

I couldn’t understand it. I had only really met Fluttershy yesterday and I already love her? Could such a thing be possible? Love at first sight doesn’t exist...it couldn’t! There is no way...yet that is the only explanation for this feeling.

Somehow, realizing this made me even more upset as I got up, trying to contain a cold fury. I exited the bathroom, kicking the door off it's hinges as I passed.

Fuck that door... I thought for no reason as I changed into another pair of jeans and a wifebeater.

Wifebeater, cause fuck actual clothes. I thought, calming myself slightly by getting my rage out on inanimate objects by swearing a bunch, in my own head.

Opening my window, I prepared to jump out, but before I could, Twilight and her little magical jewelry cult came back. They looked around the room for me, seeing the pool of blood first and I made note that Pinkies face went pale and she brought a hand to her mouth. Before they saw me I traversed the threshold of the window and jumped, hearing them yell at me to stop as I fell to the ground.

When I hit the ground, I made sure to roll as to not repeat the previous time I attempted the same form of escape. I then walked, hands in the pockets of my jeans, not knowing my destination, just working on instinct as I let my mind wander.

I had been wandering for hours, if the now setting sun had anything to say about it. The town of Ponyville was surprisingly big, I had been walking the entire time and I still didn’t recognize the part of town I was in. That was until I heard the booming bass and jovial laughter coming from the dance club just down the street.

Good, I could use a strong drink. I thought.

That was a terrible idea.

Drowning and Brawling

I feel myself getting weaker by the second as the crimson pool around me slowly expanded. I manage to move my head around, though it nearly takes all of my remaining energy. As I do, I feel my skin rub together with the feeling of tree bark, or scales. I look over at the new arrivals, the Mane 6, or more specifically, Fluttershy.

I manage to crack a smile, once again noticing my strange skin texture, as I remember the moments that changed our lives forever...

I finally made it into the club, my anger turned to a blend of self pity and self loathing. The club was no different than the ones on Earth, there were tables with booths, the bar itself, and a DJ played in front of a raving crowd of ponies on a technicolor dance floor. I ignored the smell of sweat and alcohol as I waded through the crowd to the bar.

“Waddya havin’?” The bartender asked without turning around.

“Uh...ya got one for romantic confusion? Emotional tragedy would also work.” I replied, tossing a full bag of bits on the countertop.

“Oh, one a’ those days eh? Alrighty then, I recommend Manticore Pride’s: Infamous. Easy to drown in, and hard to escape from. It's the best thing for these kinds of situations, unfortunately it's also the most expensive we have-”

“I’ll take a keg,” I said throwing four more bags of bits on the counter, silencing further conversation, “I’ll be in that booth.” I pointed to the next closest one to the dance floor.

I turned and headed to the booth as the bartender prepared to bring the keg to my table. I looked around, spotting vaguely familiar ponies in the various groups. The keg was brought to me not long after I sat down and I poured myself a large mug full. I drained it quickly before refilling it, this time I decided to take it slower, that is until I saw none other than Fluttershy walk through the door, her normally timid behavior seeming to have vanished.

Screw going slow. I thought, chugging my second glass before going in for a third.

I was pointedly not looking at her, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look around for something before walking over to the bar. I saw her talk to the bartender, before he finally pointed to me. She turned and saw me, getting a look of determination and slight anger on her face before heading over to me.

Before she made it, she was interrupted by a group of incredibly familiar stallions in faux leather jackets. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could tell they weren’t there to chat. I watched her face change from confused to embarrassed to angry all in the span of a couple of seconds.

Wait a second...angry? I thought, turning to get a better view of the situation.

Sure enough, Fluttershy was standing there, listening to the stallions talk, her face getting redder by the second as the fire behind her eyes was fed by their nonsense, slowly turning into an inferno. This was somepony else, I’m not sure how I knew, but that wasn’t Fluttershy, she had a different feel about her, she had changed since I last saw her...

That’s when I noticed something, half of her face was fuzzy, like a bad quality video. I looked closer, the fuzzy part of her face also had a completely different set of emotions pertaining to the situation, where the other half was offended and angry, this side was embarrassed, flustered and uncomfortable. That’s when it hit me, the angry side was Butchershy, or some variation of her, the side that Fluttershy kept cooped up inside her and hid from the world. Just like Pinkie and Pinkamena, the struggle for dominance had been shifted in favor of the lesser known consciousness.

There was a flash and I could see everypony’s alternate personalities, each hidden behind what society had molded them into, each one desperately wanting to be broke free. There weren’t just two personalities per pony either, there were many, some kept deeper than others, and all of them were looking at me, their pleading eyes begging to be let free. I could sense each of their unique energies and was suddenly very aware of my own tendrils of magic reaching out to them. Each tendril started at my chest and connected to each of the personalities, just waiting for the magic required to activate and release them. I could feel their emotions as well, most were sad and some were angry but the others were a myriad of emotions, each one flaring my annoyance with the stallions in the leather coats more and more.

As my anger rose, I could see my magic tendrils turn a slight red, and the personalities flared with anger. I could not only ‘unlock’ certain hidden aspects of ponies, but I could also influence and sometimes completely change the feelings and will of others. Or at least that is what I could understand in the twenty second span it took to analyze my situation.

Finally having enough with the annoying rambling the group was doing, I walk over, holding the keg on my shoulder and the mug in my hand, before clocking one of the stallions with the mug, instantly sending him to the floor. The other five spun around and took up stances.

“If we’re gonna fight, can we take it outside so I don’t break anything besides your bones?” I asked politely, glancing at Fluttershy to see her smile in gratitude and apprehension for the coming fight.

I was waiting patiently for my opponents to come forward, and had amassed quite a crowd in the process. While I waited, I began to feel the alcohol affect my system, my vision became blurry on the edges, but more focussed in the center. Then they returned, they seem to have expanded their ranks from six, to about...thirty six, give or take a few. One was regally dressed, or more specifically was wearing the most ‘leather’. Along with his jacket, he also wore boots, gloves and a vest. I assume he is the leader of the group, but I was uninterested in him, I’m interested in the fellow beside him. The stallion in question was massive, easily a foot taller then me, with muscles that made me twitch in anticipation.

This is going to be much more fun than I thought. I thought, grinning at the gargantuan pony.

“Listen guys, here is how it is going to go,” I said, “I am going to fight each and every one of you however I feel, starting at one, moving on to two, then three and so on, ending with Tiny over there. If I defeat every single one of you, I get all of the bits you have on you and you have to disband your little gang. If I lose, I will willingly accept any form of punishment you can come up with, deal?”

“Deal.” The leader replied after some thought.

I’ve been craving this for way too long. I thought to myself.

Memory Lane, Public Indecency and Fireworks

I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. I never had a good life. My dad tried to make things right. But things just never came through for him, let alone me. I never had a home for longer than five months, we were constantly on the move. My parents were unmarried and they constantly had fights. It wasn't until later that I learned, the fights were about me.

My father dropped out of college to pursue his dream, he wanted to be in a band. So, him being the hard worker I knew him to be, he was. He made a band and put his heart and soul into it. One night he met a very important person in my life, my mother. They hung out, took it steady, until one night, they were both drunk, they conceived me. It was an accident, I was an accident. My father realized what he had done and quit his dream to raise me right. It took awhile for that to happen.

I was a huge trouble maker, if it was bad, if you could go to jail for doing it, if people would scorn you for doing it, I had done it and worse, and he knew, he always knew. Every time he found out, he would punish me. They weren't beatings or spankings, it was simple, I got grounded. My mother, a person who almost never got in trouble, resented the idea of punishment.

The two of them would argue well into the night, thinking that I couldn't hear them, but I could, thinking that I had no idea what was going on, but I did. I knew it was because of me, and I felt guilty for it, I think that that actually made me feel worse than the grounding did.

It eventually got to the point where they nearly traded blows and they knew that something had to be done. My mom moved out, she ran away to Cleveland, Ohio of all places. But what my dad didn't know, is that she took me with her.

Three years passed, I lived with my mother in that godforsaken shithole. Only seeing my father for one week a year. Every time I would come over, tears of joy were shed. Every time I had to leave, my father would beg on his knees to try and persuade her to let me stay and I would paw at the back window of the car, begging and screaming so loud that my father said he could hear me from a mile away, and to tell you the truth, I could hear him too.

It eventually became too much for my mother and she moved back, a mere 15 minutes away from my father. Yet, I still only saw him a week a year. I still remember the time I stole my mother's phone and locked myself in a closet. Fumbling with it, calling wrong numbers until I finally got the voice I was looking for. I sat there, bawling my eyes out, asking, 'Why, why did I never get to see him? Why did he never call? Why couldn't I have a father in my life?'

And he would sit there and cry with me, answering my questions with riddles and puzzles, never giving me a straight answer, never telling me the truth. That is the best memory I have of years five through eleven.

At the age of twelve, I was the biggest kid in school. You would think that the other kids would be afraid of me, or be nicer to me because of my size, you would be wrong. My size made me easier to hit. It got to the point when, every day kids would line up to see who could make the giant fall first, they couldn’t. They would do things like call me names, make fun of my family, anything they could to make me mess up. It didn’t work, it made me better. Three, four, five guys at a time even, and they would all wind up, on the ground, blood pouring from various orifices, with little to no consciousness. You would think that after a couple days of that, they couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to try it again. You would be wrong, again.

They came again, on a Thursday this time, they brought an advantage. One kid had a gun with him, one kid had a knife, and yet another had an iron pipe. How they got these things to school, I have no idea. They cornered me, and the one with a gun started preaching to me about how he was better than me in every way, the gun’s barrel never leaving my chest. He was going on and on about random stuff, all the while I was thinking about how much better I was than him at everything he was saying, until he got the the part about making friends. I had none, and he had a gang that was ready to strike down another kid at a moments notice.

I let him talk, coming up with a plan to get out of this. Just as he got to the point when he was explaining how much smarter than me he was, I made my move. I grabbed the wrist currently holding the gun and twisted. He yelped out in pain and dropped the weapon. In one quick movement I turned him around and pushed him into the confused gang he had assembled. Without giving them a chance to retaliate, I charged the group, fists flailing about, each with their own destination. One I clocked in the jaw, another the temple, and yet another in the nose. It took them all of about ten seconds of this to realize that I was beating them. The one with the pipe, in a sneaky an unpredicted move, took a swing at the side of my leg, breaking it on impact.

I let loose a guttural roar of pure anguish and fell in a crumpled heap to the floor. The one with the gun had reclaimed his weapon of choice and aimed it this time for my head. He was looking at me with fury in his eyes as he cocked the hammer back. I was crying silently, the pain showed clearly, overpowering the fear that I felt. I knew I was too young to die, and I knew that this wasn’t my time, but I sure as hell was going to be a man about it. I didn’t even flinch when he pulled the trigger, only to be greeted by a hollow click. My eyes shot open and a grin spread across my face, I was blessed with a second chance that day. Fueled by adrenaline from the near-death experience, I forgot the incredible pain I felt as I stood back up, much to the dismay of my attackers.

I looked every single one of them in the eye, the dark grin plastered permanently across my face. Suddenly my view changed, I was forced to look on at a distance. It was only then that I realized that I had been dreaming the entire time. I had been dreaming about my upbringing and my life up till now. I looked on as my younger self fought the children that had attacked him mercilessly. He beat them to within an inch of their lives, and he seemed to be enjoying it. It wasn’t until he was done that I realized that he had been staring at me the whole time, his eyes never leaving me, even when his head seemed to turn at impossible angles, he kept on with his persistent scrutiny. Even now, as he stood admiring his work, he was staring at me over his shoulder, a slight orange glow emanating from behind his eyes, the grin ever present upon his darkened face.

The evidence of a presence permeated my dreamscape as the image in front of me disappeared in a black cloud of mist. I expected to find myself in the presence of Delirium and Allie, but instead I was greeted by none other than the Night Stalker herself, Princess Luna.

“Good night my little pony. Tell me what sort of night terrors intrude upon your dreams?” She asked, getting into a defensive stance as if the nightmares would attack her.

“It's none of your business m’am. Now if you don’t mind I do believe that this is my time to wake up.” I said, walking away from the goddess.

“There is venom in your words my citizen, have I done something to hurt or harm you in any way?” She asked, appearing in front of me.

Without flinching I responded, “No, now will you please excuse me? I really need to get going.”

A sudden realization was plain upon her face, “You still think of me as Nightmare Moon don’t you. Well have no fear my little pony, for that beast has long since tasted the wrath of the Elements.”

“No, I don’t think of you as Nightmare Moon, as a matter of fact, I hold her in better judgement than you, ‘Princess of the Night’. Now, I would appreciate it if you would please, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I yelled at her.

She backed away, a look of disgust upon her muzzle, “You hold that beast in better judgement than me?”

Suddenly her face fell and she seemed close to tears, “Am I that bad of a ruler? I have tried, by Celestia I have, but ponies just don’t see me like they used to. They are all terrified of me and their minds will never be changed.”

She turned to me and said, “Sorry to intrude upon your dreamscape my little pony, but I am leaving now, I have to go collect my thoughts...”

Without another word, she disappeared in a bright flash of light. My sight returned to me, I saw the morning light, once again, seeping into the tent, the birds, once again, chirping the same song, and the light breeze, once again, disturbing only the smallest branches on the smallest trees. Everything was the same. The world, completely oblivious as to the events that transpired the previous night. I eased my way off of the grass I had used as a bed, and shuffled outside. Yawning, I wiped the remnants of the night from my eyes. As I did so, I heard a crunching sound that I recognized as the flaking of dried blood.

I looked at myself and was slightly appalled at the sight. I was covered, head to hoof, in dried blood, even my jeans and my shirt, still on my leg as a temporary bandage, weren’t spared the new crimson coloration. I smelled like a bad butcher shop, and I looked like I had just taken a bath in ketchup. Needless to say, I was a mess and I needed to wash myself before I could even attempt any of the necessary plans I had for today.

Great, I thought with heavy sarcasm, now, where to find a shower in these here parts.

For some reason, my inner voice sounded like Clint Eastwood. I didn’t know why, but I went with it, crazier things have happened. Plus, it was kinda cool having Clint Eastwood be in your head. I shook other random thoughts out of my head and looked around, searching for any possible place where I could rid myself of my suit of blood. Having not found a suitable location, I decided to do a transmutation spell, rearranging atoms and molecules so they fit together and form a completely different compound, easy right? Not at all, as a matter of fact, it was one of the hardest things I had ever done, and I was an expert at sudoku puzzles.

As I formulated the spell in my head, I noticed something admittedly random, I needed a guitar. It was something I learned to do back home for my acting career and had fallen in love with, if I wasn’t writing or acting I was playing the guitar and that was really all I did. I had forgotten that I currently had a transmutation spell charged and that it was hard to think about a spell, a random thing and walk at the same time. I tripped over, something I’m sad to admit, a stick. The repercussions of this little mess up were tremendous. In my startled sense of having gravity suddenly be my enemy, I lost concentration and the spell went off, directly hitting the tent, which was currently falling onto the fire due to my attempting to use it to break my fall. The entire escaped ended in a big flash and a small bang and suddenly, I was falling through air, a guitar on my back, and nothing else, the camp was gone, every trace of it disappeared in the spell I was charging.

“DAMMIT!!” I yelled in frustration, I had no idea where it came from, or who sent it, but that stick was going to get a beating of a lifetime when I was done mourning all of my stuff.

That was when I realized, I might be more screwed than I originally thought, where were my weapons and armor? I searched frantically for them, hoping to whatever entity that was watching that they hadn’t gone down with the tent, and everything else with it. I searched for what seemed like hours, running around the immediate vicinity, searching for any trace of them that survived the blast, even though it was incredibly minor in comparison to others I had been in. Bad experiences, don’t ask. Even through all of my searching, I didn’t manage to find it. Giving up hope, I walked back to the epicenter of the blast sat against a lone tree, face in my hands, grumbling to myself. Suddenly, I had the common sense to take a look to my immediate left and, upon seeing the enchanted leather bag that was currently holding my weapons and armor as well as all of my money and other such things, I began to repeatedly slam my head into the tree and sigh in frustration.

After forming a reasonable dent in the tree and a reasonable sized bruise on my forehead, I began to think somewhat logically about my hygiene situation. Trees were plants, which were made up of mostly water already, so transmutation was made considerably easier. Upon realizing this, I transmuted the nearby trees into water and, using the extremely useful power of telekinesis, made a kind of pool in the ground with which I could wash up in. Since I was still using my logic, I magically insulated my ‘pool’ so the water wouldn’t mix with the dirt and make a mud bath. Then I jumped in, clothes and all, seeing as my clothes needed a washing too. Again I was impressed by my magic ability, looking down at my leg through the now red water, I noticed that the wound, that by all means should have been there, was gone. So were the cuts and scratches I had gotten from the previous night. Nodding to myself, I began the tedious task of washing blood stains from both my coat and my clothes.

(_I__..__I_)

By the time I had managed to successfully remove the stains from my clothes and my coat, the sun had begun to settle just above the horizon. I walked out of the now red water and back over to the original location of my camp. I upon arrival I face palmed at a late realization, I didn’t have another outfit to wear. Groaning at my own stupidity, I walked over to my Bag of Holding and got out my armor and weapons.

Well, I guess I’ll have to wear these for now. I’m going to have to go and get some clothes from in town. Hmm, I wonder if Rarity has any casual clothes.

After equipping the armor and adorning my weapons, I placed my Bag on my back and grabbed my guitar, which luckily had a strap on it, and headed towards town. Upon my arrival, I found it was deserted, but that wasn’t the only thing the was disturbing about the town, everywhere, in little patterns, were little black rods, like the one the bully had in the alley when I first came here. They were all stabbed into the ground, a strange red dot on the tops. I picked one out of the dirt and found that all of them were attached to a long black cord that led further into town. Suddenly I heard a loud click followed immediately by a hissing sound. I didn’t realize what they were until I saw the spark traveling along the black wire I could now identify as a fuse.

Fireworks! Shit! Run! I thought.

I realized that there was no place I could go that would be safe enough, I was going to be caught in the blast. I grabbed my sword and charged it with magic.

Judging from the amount of fireworks here, their size and the amount of destruction dynamite can cause, this shield will have to be really fucking strong. I thought, calculating how much magic I needed to drain into my sword.

Time slowed as the fuse got shorter, and I caught a blur of color from out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly I was on my back thirty feet away with a strangely familiar cyan pegasus sitting on my chest, her hair in complete disarray from the flight. She began yelling at me about being stupid and fireworks and danger but I was only paying attention to the small fillies playing around near the small black tubes, oblivious to their impending doom. I shoved the pegasus off and sprinted towards the three fillies, drawing my sword and once again charging it with magic. Time was still slowed, but even with it crawling along, I wasn’t sure I could make it in time.

I had to though, I had to or innocent lives would be taken in an accident that wasn’t supposed to happen. I had to, or else three fillies with their whole lives ahead of them would get all of their opportunities stripped away from them before they knew it. They would die and their destinies would remain unfulfilled, their fates would become unravelled, and not only them, but their children and their grandchildren and their entire lineage would die in one instance, in one mistake that I made. But I wasn’t going to let that happen, I couldn’t.