Tried and Trixie
Pulled recently from the archives of the Royal Paradise, I have translated form old Equestrian the story of two ponies who passed through the width and breadth of old Equestria together. Though it the two of them learned not only a great deal about life, but aslo learned a great deal about each other.
Tornado Firehooves
Dream Castle Historian
"Pony Joe, over here! Another round, please!"
My hoarse voice cracks the silence of the cafe, causing the few patrons still present at this late hour to turn their heads when I speak. My appearance is unusual, to be sure, but not enough to hold their attention. Pony Joe runs this shady tavern beyond the midnight hour, after he's closed his more legitimate donut shop down for the day. Many ponies here are busy downing donuts and exotic beverages for their own reasons... many are here to remember, but many are also here to forget. This old stallion, though, is seeking to do a little bit of both.
"You sure you're okay, buddy?" The unicorn stallion asks, drying a levitated glass, and giving me a look of concern. "I think you've had one too many ciders already."
I can only imagine how terrible I must look to an observer- a scarred blue hide, and a scraggily, half torn-out mane. Bloodshot eyes only stare back at him in silence, and I only give him a weak nod in response. As he pours me another glass of cider, I consider how any other pony would have a concerned friend show up to talk some sense into them now. Not this unicorn, however... I put my friends behind me a long time ago. This unicorn has seen too many horrors, been through too many terrors to believe that those who once called themselves my friends would come to my aid.
What is my story, you ask? In truth, there's not much I wish to tell. I was a bright young unicorn researcher once, with a deep knowledge of magic, and a desire to help all of ponykind. I journeyed out beyond the borders of Equestria, where I found many adventures beyond counting. I had many good times with friends out there, and even met the love of my life. But my friends and I went on a very perilous journey, and we barely returned from our ordeal alive. But while my friends returned to find the mares they loved waiting for them, I came back to find I had been replaced by the one I held dear, cast aside for a prettier face and a softer mane. No, my story is not the interesting one here- rather , it is the story of the pony of whom I am about to speak.
She came exploding though the door, that blue mare with a white mane did, clearly a pony who is used to making a dramatic entrance. She held her up high as she slowly trotted towards the bar, her wand and magic cutie mark clearly visible as I glanced at that well-rounded flank of hers. From the weariness in her violet eyes I can see she has been though much grief herself, but the fire I also see in those eyes tell me she has the will and determination to deal with it.
"Pony Joe! The great and Powerful Trixie demands that you serve her at once!" The angry pony hissed, sitting at the bar stool and slamming her hoof down. "Give me the hardest cider at your barrel, and make it snappy!"
"Awww, keep yer hat on, Trixie!" The barkeep replied, clearly recognizing the irritating yet provocative-looking mare. "I'll get to you just as soon as I serve those ponies over there in the corner."
"Hmph, it is Trixie who should be getting preferential treatment." The mare snorted indignantly. "Trixie is one of your regulars, after all."
"Sounds like you've been in here quite a few times, miss." I speak up, looking down the bar at the haggard-looking mare. "I'd be more than happy to take a recommendation on their finest drink, if you'd care to share your thoughts."
"For you, Trixie recommends a glass of water." She snaps, as Joe pours her a glass of cider. "See if you could wash all of the ugly of your scarred old face."
"Ouch, such unkind words, coming out of such a lovely lady's mouth." I reply gently, moving down to the seat next to her. "Would your mood improve, perhaps, if I offered to buy you a round, perhaps?"
"Such an offer will get you everywhere, gruesome." She spat back, as I tossed a few bits onto the bar for her drink. "I suppose you want Trixie to spend some time with you, now, maybe a roll in the hay?" The disgusted mare spat, ignoring the fact that a 'roll in the hay' without a lifebond would be impossible. "Sorry, I'd need to keep the light off, if I didn't want to lose my lunch."
"I'd settle for what a nice pony like you, is doing in a dive such as this." I reply calmly, drinking another cider and ignoring her juvenile attempts to rile me up. "What brings what is clearly a very talented unicorn down to a sinkhole such as this?"
"You could tell, couldn't you?" This 'Trixie' replied, a smile spreading across her face as her ego was stroked. "I was a show pony, the best performance stage magician in all of Equestria. Trained by the great Midnight Hooves himself."
"You were Midnight's apprentice?" I ask, my ears perking up at the name of my old colleague from Tambelon. "Than you truly must be talented. But again, why is such a talented show pony, with all of your skill and looks, doing in a rundown cafe in Canterlot at two in the morning?"
"Tis true, Trixie should be headlining shows in Manehatten and Fillydelphia, as she once did." The mare grumbled, as she levitated the glass of cider and downed it in one gulp. "But thanks to that Twilight Sparkle, I've been so humiliated, I'll never be able to get a decent booking again!"
"Twilight Sparkle!?" I rasp in surprise, hearing a name that was like a stab to my own heart. "Now what did our dear Alicorn Princess ever do to you?"
"Oh, not much... just she and her friends made me the laughingstock of Ponyville!" Trixie spat, slamming her hoof down again as she emptied her second cider. "Trixie only came to their little town to put on her act, and they utterly and totally ruined my reputation!"
"Not to interrupt, Miss Trixie, but that's not quite the way I heard it." Pony Joe interrupted, as he refilled my glass again. "The way Spike told me, you bought the Harmony Bearers right up on stage, and humiliated them right in front of the whole town. And then you brought an ursa major in that almost wrecked Ponyville!"
"I'm a show pony! Showing off my magic is my special talent!" She snapped back, downing the rest of her third cider in one gulp. "Okay, maybe it was a bit mean hog tying the famer and messing up the fashionesta's mane. But they were yelling at Trixie for doing what she's supposed to do! And Trixie didn't ask for those two brats to bring that beast into town, it's their own stupidity that almost got the town destroyed!"
"Great and Powerful Trixie... Great and Powerful Trixie..." I think for a moment, downing another glass, and trying to sift my memories around in my cider-induced haze. "I remember you now! You're the unicorn mare who enslaved Ponyville!"
The moment I uttered those words, her ears suddenly drooped, and her angry expression changed to one of regret. "I-I didn't mean to do that! Those horrible things, it was all the alicorn amulet! I swear it was!"
"Torturing Ponies, trying to kill them... all in the name of 'getting revenge'? A show pony's special talent is supposed to be entertaining other ponies with their feats and abilities." I snapped back, just as inebriated as the unicorn sitting next to me. " Not enslaving them and making them suffer in the name of your own hurt vanity and pride! You're just as twisted and evil as Discord and Sombra and Nightmare Goon!"
"That's Nightmare Moon, Booker. "Pony Joe corrected me, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, what he said." I grumbled, the stink of booze oozing from my breath.
"You're so right... I'm a monster!" The sloshed blue unicorn blubbered, tears streaming down her eyes as she buried her face in her hooves. "I'm a disgusting creature that doesn't deserve to live on Celestia's earth!"
"Oh for the love of-" Putting my hoof under her delicate chin, I bring her face up to look directly into her eyes. "You are no monster, Trixie. You're simply a pony who's made some very bad mistakes over the years... but in that respect, I'm not really that different than you."
"Really?" She asks, drying her sloppy wet tears with her hoof. "W-what have you done that's so terrible? And who are your, anyway?"
"Madam, my name is Professor Booker, formerly of the Tambelon research laboratories." I introduce myself to the drunken mare, nearly falling over in a half-bow on my seat. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"A researcher? Well that explains the egghead appearance." She replied, as she motioned with her hoof for Pony Joe to refill her glass. "But Tambelon? I heard that place was completely blown up."
"That's what a lot of ponies heard." I reply with a sigh, as I take another sip of my cider. "Suffice to say my friends and I barely escaped that horrible place though a crack in the *hic* dimensional barrier that closed up behind us."
And so we talked- two ponies, each drowning in our own sorrow from our past mistakes, and finding sympathy for each other in our misery. As we each downed more and more cider, a sobriety spell I had learned in my younger days kept us both awake. But even that could hold back the tide of total inebriation forever.
"So you had to leave on a long trip, and when you got back, she had found another stallion, huh?" Trixie asked me, amazed at my story. "Wow, I can't believe any mare would do something like that- *hic*."
"Yep, left me for some fancy pretty-boy Crystal Empire guard." I mutter, my head lowered over the bar. "I finally got back to Equestria, and she chose a blue maned airhead over me."
"How could any female pony be so dumb?" The great and wobbly Trixie whinnies, her disheveled mane falling into her eyes. "Mares outnumber Stallions in Equestria three to one. Most fillies would be fighting each other tooth and hoof to get one, even a *hic* scarred up freak like you."
"Well, any stallion worth his salt lick would be happy to get a mare like you." I reply, rubbing my nose against hers. "Even if you are a cold hearted, stuck up witch."
From my cloudy memory, what followed the rest of the night was a series of warm kisses that stank of cider, Pony Joe shooing a pair of unicorns out of his place for 'making an indecent scene in front of the customers', and trotting my way back to a yellow and red wooden cart, followed by one of the most heavenly nights I've ever had since escaping back through the portal from Tambelon.
...
What I awoke to the next morning, I found myself lying on a feather mattress in said cart, with an azure colored mare (I could see her actual color now, not being tanked) lying against my side, nuzzling up to me to keep warm.
"What the?" I start to exclaim. "Ow-ow-OW! headache!" I groan, putting my hooves to my temples.
"Oh, good morning, gruesome." The mare moaned softly, licking the side of my fce, and rubbing her own forehead from a lesser headache. "Sleep well?"
"Yes, but the aftertaste is a bit of a doozy." I mutter, trying to stand up straight without falling over.
"Hold on, I've got a potion here in the cart for such a problem." She ran into her medicine cabinet, and produced a small vial. "Bought this off of a traveling zebra potion dealer, should mix that nasty migraine up in a jiffy!"
Without the lifebond, nothing had happened between us the night before, of course, but it was still embarrassing to wake up in such an... awkward situation. After a quick breakfast she had hastily prepared, I was soon trotting out of the cart, ready to make my way towards whatever destiny had planned for me next.
"Booker, wait." Trixie came running out of her cart after me. "Where will you be going from here?"
"Wherever the winds take me, I suppose." I tell her, looking on down an empty road ahead of me. "Ever since I got home, I've just kind of... wandered from place to place, sleeping under bridges, and getting by however I could."
"Well, you could... come with Trixie!" Her face suddenly lit up. "I mean... Trixie could use a research pony, maybe with some tips to make her act better? And Trixie could teach you about stage magic, and maybe you could teach Trixie about other magic?"
Looking into her eyes, I see the same look I saw in another mare's eyes so long ago... a mare whom I had mistakenly believed I had lifebonded with. Trixie has been cast out and ostracized for so long, that the first stallion who showed her a warm smile and a few kind words was like a breath of fresh air. She was tired of being alone, and had found common interest with me in the subject of magic.
Did I want to go though all of this again? Did I want to put myself though the same pain and misery that broke my heart last time, if this mare decides I'm not good enough? It only takes me a moment to decide.
"I'll stay Trixie... but only if you drop the arrogance and the 'great and powerful' garbage when we're not in public." I snort. "I know it's part of your stage performance, but I won't have such belittling behavior in my personal life. Around me, you will be yourself. Understand?"
"Okay fine, you Win! I'll drop the act!" She sticks out her lip angrily, pouting for a moment, before finally replying. "But not in front of the paying customers. I'm going to have a hard enough time as is rebuilding my stage reputation as it is."
"I completely understand, Trixie." I smile, as the two of us trot back over to the cart.
"Actually, Trixie's just a stage name. My real name's Beatrix Lulamoon." She turned and smiled at me again. "But I'd prefer it if you called me Bea."
"Okay then, 'Bea'." I reply with a laugh. "But there's a little problem here... there's only one bad in this car. Where the hay am I going to sleep?"
"That wasn't a problem last night, now was it?" She trotted back onto the cart, cocking and eyebrow. "This cart is heading to the Crystal Empire next, and it can get very cold on those northern winter nights. We'll need a way to keep warm, now won't we?"
With a sigh, I follow her onto the wagon. Something tells me my life is about to get a hack of a lot more interesting from now on...
