Maxilae likes her Smoothie
I was sipping my smoothie. It was really sweet. Not true love sweet, or even brood type love sweet, but at the very least it was close to as sweet as bromance. Of course no pony food was quite the same as emotions, but it could still be tasty. Mom was super dismissive though, never even giving solid food a chance even though we could eat and drink and whatnot just like ponies. Which I still say means we, not just changelings abut all the fae ponies might have been like the poor normal ponies once.
"Princess Maxilae, the queen returns."
"Whatever."
I rolled my eyes at the drone in front of me, and was about to think of some sarcastic comment but then I saw mom. She looked terrible. First clue is that she was carried into the still damaged throne room but a bunch of soldiers. One of her wings was missing, and the other was shredded entirely. Some of her mane was gone too, and there were countless cracks in her carapace, though none looked too big, based on the green swaths of dried blood around them many had been much bigger. Then I noticed she was smiling widely.
"Whoa, it totally looks like you lost other than the freaky smile."
"Oh Maxi, you silly little pupa. You know better than that. Remember…"
I sighed. "Ugh, yea. I know, it's not whether you win or lose, but how many bits you steal from them when they're focused on the game." I rolled my eyes. "Which is totally dumb since getting bits is super easy."
"Yes, but you know what I mean by that." She laughed, and wobbled forward. "So my ever lazy one, did you even notice when the south wall collapsed."
My head shot up, but the wall was fine. Not great, renovating this old castle still seemed like a dumb idea to me, especially since we might not even be here that long. Right now Everfree Castle was mostly held together with changeling goop. Once again I wished we had a real language of our own. Sure the hivemind is an obviously superior mode of communication but relying on the lesser races for words sometimes leaves you with pathetic options. I then blinked and turned back to see mom collapsed on the floor, hooves splayed out, laughing like mad.
"I can't believe you looked. Oh Maxi, you truly are best daughter. Not only didn't you leave like the rest of those ingrates, but you have so little ambition I never have to worry about you trying to kill me. Seriously, my sisters tried to kill me all the time."
"Uch, I know mom. You talk about this all time."
She giggled. "I do not." She then barely managed to stand up again.
"You're like, supper high right now aren't you? Mom, you said you wouldn't drain anypony totally, that you would…"
"I didn't. My oh so valuable prince was close, but my best buddy Cadence fixed him. In fact she fixed him so well I lost my hold on him entirely. And it was so much work to drain him too. I don't know what's in the sparkle gene pool but it must be something amazing. I mean no mere mortal should have that much mana."
"Mom, you're not making sense if you didn't drain anyone than…"
She giggled again. "Plan L worked a little too well. I mean not really, but also it so did. If you would let yourself connect to the hive then you would know…"
"I told you mom, I want to know how the ponies think. There is nothing sane to figure out how they deal with their short little lives, but I can figure out what it's like to be truly alone in your mind."
Mom shook her head. She looked much more steady. Love drunk, love high, and a few other similar sayings all came down to the same idea. Too much love makes changelings loopy. But it wasn't quite like any of that, and as fools though out history had found while it might seem to make a changeling impaired, it actually increases mental acuity. Sanity not so much, but that just tends to make us more dangerous. Though far less is also possible. Mom seemed to be giggling a lot and minor shifts in personality were common, though also often fleeting. Right now she at least looked very serious.
"I still don't like your obsession with them. I'm not my mother, I believe in renewable harvesting only, and that drain and flee methods are just wasteful, but that doesn't mean that you should coddle them."
"But they're just so weak and helpless. I mean they die so easily and so soon, and they're so alone, and…"
She held up a hoof. "Enough." Then she smiled. "Come on. Forget all that. It's time to celebrate. The hivemind is full. All my subjects won't go hungry for years, and that's if we didn't gather even a smidgen more love."
"Woah. I mean you said the blast thingie would be powerful but…"
"I know. I still don't get why ponies are so stupid to think that somehow love can defeat us. Oh you should have tasted it Maxi. It was just so perfect."
"So that's why you're loopy. You, like, didn't drain your energy into the hivemind because you couldn't. I was, like, wondering."
"It all went so well. Yes the exclusion zone shield meant we were literally ejected from the city, but because of the way the spell works nopony was even hurt."
"So you didn't even have to do the dumb, the love is too pure it burns thing?"
Mom nodded "Yes, even I admit that's stupid, but most of the time the ponies never catch it, and even when they do, they rarely do anything about it."
"It's still, like, totally lame."
She giggled. "In truth it hurt a great deal when one of my loyal subjects crashed into me and sent me plummeting into the ground, but I don't really remember the pain of hitting the ground. I was far too busy savoring the pure love I'd just had."
"What about plan…" I paused to take a sip of smoothie. "…C, right?"
Mom frowned. "Worked much better than I ever expected actually. I thought getting the old nag in a cocoon would be the hard part, but no, her cells were as obstinate as she is. Like she's too good to be a changeling. Ridiculous."
Mom walked away from me, a smile slowly returning to her face. She really didn't like Celestia, though the sun nag herself probably had no idea who mom even was.
"What about plan NM?"
"Couldn’t have gone better. Well I turned up like this, but I got Luna to sign anyway. She's going to be really mad when she learns what I just made her pardon the entire changeling race for."
"She was just thinking about stuff way back when. Like, when you were helping Nightmare Moon fill her army and junk right?"
"Exactly. It kept her out of the way too. I'm only a little surprised she really waited the whole time for our meeting even though I was hours late."
"Yea, totally weird. What about plan, uh, S."
Mom laughed maniacally. She was really good at it. "That is the best part. While Celestia did not officially pronounce me his lawfully wedded wife, I said my vows and he said his. We aren't married under Equestrian law, but he is mine."
"Yea, I still don't get…"
Mom spun around to face me, and smiled. "I'll tell you when you're older."
I glared at her. Once a changeling connects with the hivemind there is nothing they can't know, and some stuff that is copied into our memories automatically. While I'd found out there were a few things I really didn't know, my age had nothing to do with it, as they would not become appropriate at any age. No it was a line mom trot out whenever she didn't want to tell me something. I think she used it because it worked a few times before I was old enough to connect now it was just her being a jerk.
"Tell me. I know it's not a spell so…"
"Fae law." She frowned briefly. "There is more to it than that but…"
"Nevermind. Don't care." I took another sip of smoothie.
"This day certainly wasn't perfect, but almost everything went better than expected. Even though it would have been magnificent to replace Celestia and have all that love and admiration lavished upon me, at least I know it's not an option now. The avatar of the sun cannot be changed by external sources."
"And letting her change via internal sources won't help."
Mom nodded. "Yes. Nightmare was a huge pain in the flank. I should have betrayed her to Celestia much sooner." She blinked. "Oh, that reminds me."
There was a green flash and her injuries were gone. Of course there had times in the past when she was conserving energy and didn't heal her injuries but clearly that level of restraint wasn't needed right now. She smiled.
"Ah, much better. I think my head cleared a little too."
"Fishing for sympathy from Luna?"
She nodded. "Thankfully she never asked exactly why we were all beat up. I had a few answers of course, but none all that good."
"Of course there was one other thing that went wrong. I mean weren't you supposed to convert Shining once he was on his honey moon and then Cadence would be forced to give him all her love or let Shinning starve?"
"Yes, but not only did I lose the mind link to control him, which was a real plain to build in the first place let me tell you, but not I'm not sure I could. Of course at this point I'm wondering if all Cadence's love is just a bit too much."
"That's totally weird to say even if I know what you mean."
She nodded and we were both silent for a moment. Too much love doesn't seem like it should be possible. I suppose in reality we certainly could just use a lot more, or just let it go to waste, but it was still such a weird idea. Then I had a somewhat unrelated thought.
"Lame. Shinning was sexy too."
"Yes, nice breeding stock indeed. Though your natural form still looks a bit young for most ponies. You certainly almost look like a full grown mare but…"
"Maaaa,ooom. Come on you know…."
"Royal changelings mature at odd rates, but that's always why you should wait. Yes you're older than the eldest of the elements, but you're not quite at the same maturity level. Not to mention your speech."
"What's wrong with the way I talk precisely. I don't understand?"
I had dropped the lazy and loose way of speaking of course. Mom just stared. I laughed. I really got her that time. Mom was starting to tear up.
"You, lied to me?"
"Yep." I smiled
"All this time, you kept lying. Made yourself sound stupider than you clearly are. Convinced me that you were dumb and lazy."
I took a sip of smoothie, then cast a spell to cool it a little. "I really am lazy."
"I'm so proud of you."
Then she grabbed me in a great big hug. I was lucky I was holding my smoothie with my magic instead of a hoof. I really should have known she'd get all mushy over this. I rolled my eyes.
"Come on mom, it's not that big a deal."
She suddenly pulled away from me. "Wait, you are plotting behind my back and…"
"Come on, I faked an accent, but I'm still lazy. I'm perfectly fine with you doing all the work and me sitting around and enjoying being pampered."
"Hmm, yes. Also I certainly raised you and your siblings different than mine. You've barely tried to kill each other at all."
"That's what you were going for right?"
Mom laughed. "More or less. Not really the point, but close enough."
"Whu?"
She waved a hoof. "Not important. Now, get ready, the rest should be here with the supplies, and then we can get this party started."
"Party?"
"For our glorious loss of course. PARTY!"
Mom then wobbled off. I guess she was still a little loopy after all. Of course sometimes I wonder if I'd ever actually seen the real her. Common changelings I could know for sure. I was a royal. There was nothing they could hide from me if I was really determined. It was rude of course to force a changeling to give up all their private thoughts, but it could be done. Usually it wasn't necessary to go anywhere near that far to see the truth. Mom was different. I was never sure. Part of me though I really should know. That I should take the time and effort discover what really lies behind the mask if the queen of lies. I decided I would just finish my smoothie and join the party.
Author's Note
Not that there are a whole lot of you that would care, but this is written in such a way that is doesn't have to break from main canon, but is also works for my AU canon. This is not just to make it more readable to everyone, but because I haven't published any stories that deal with the AU version of the wedding. This little thing just immediately popped into my head and I finished it surprisingly quickly.
