Personal Demons

by Ezio

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Sad, Romance
Length: 2889

As a dragon, Spike's aging process is much more alarming than that of a pony.

Twilight cannot help but notice that Spike is behaving abnormally. At first, the irregularity is gradual; but as time progresses, so too does the frequency and severity of Spike's outbursts. She fears that, eventually, she may lose her beloved friend forever. However, as Spike becomes more and more unpredictable, she begin to not only fear for her friend, but for the safety of others around him.

____________

Spike is fairly older in the story, around fifteen or so.

Fair warning, will contain some fairly graphic Spike x Sweetie Belle. So, if you're not into that kind of thing… Leave, I guess.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-13 04:20:02 UTC

The Party

It was Spike's birthday. That was his only thought, as he stormed down the streets of Ponyville. It's my birthday, but does Twilight care? Does she even know? Apparently not.

Spike looked up at the dark, overcast sky, and felt a raindrop hit him on the forehead. Fantastic.

He quickened his pace, trying to shield the bag of groceries in his arms. The library loomed up ahead, but it looked like it would begin to pour down rain at any second.

As he reached the door, he shifted the bag in his arms, standing on one leg while trying to balance the bag on his left knee, all while working the slippery brass doorknob. His scaly hands could not find purchase, and slipped when he tried to turn it. Finally, after gripping the piece of metal hard enough, he managed to shove the door open. He scrambled inside, stumbling over the threshold but maintaining his grip on the groceries. He regained his balance, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Twilight!..." he called, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "I'm back!"

"I'm in the kitchen, Spike!" came Twilight's reply. "Bring the groceries in here, please!"

Suddenly, a thought struck Spike. Of course! Twilight had sent him out to buy groceries to set up his surprise party! Surely they were all waiting in the kitchen, crouching behind chairs and under the table, candles already blazing on the cake... Boxes and boxes of tasty gems...

Grinning from ear to ear, he initiated his most nonchalant, unassuming walk, whistling an inconspicuous tune. He turned the corner, bracing himself for the impending assault of cheering...

And found Twilight at the sink, rinsing out a pot. Nobody hid under the table or chairs; there was no cake, no candles, no scrumptious gems to eat.

Spike felt his heart deflate like a punctured balloon, but he managed to keep a smile on his face as he waltzed into the kitchen, trying not to throw the bag down and scream. He blinked away the tears, feeling one roll down his cheek, but it didn't matter. He knew it would just blend with the rain.

"Here you go, Twilight," he said, standing on his tiptoes to set the groceries on the counter. Twilight smiled at him, and peered inside the bag. Her smile quickly turned to a frown.

"Spike, did you buy the garlic?" she asked.

Garlic. He'd forgotten the garlic. Spike glanced at the window; the rain was falling in a torrential downpour. Surely she wouldn't make him...

"Spike, I need garlic for the casserole tonight," Twilight said, a hint of despair in her voice.

"But, Twilight, it's like a hurricane out there!" Spike protested.

"I know, Spike, but I can't make dinner without it!" she looked at him with wide, pleading eyes.

Spike groaned, while inwardly screaming. "Okay, Twilight."

And with that, he exited the library, and began the trek back to the market.

Halfway there, he came across Fluttershy. Her mane and coat were soaked, but she smiled widely at him as he passed, as did the the lone duckling underneath her, cowering away from the rain, using the mare as an umbrella.

"Hey, Spike," she said.

"Hi, Fluttershy," he grunted in reply. He hoped he didn't sound too rude.

And then, almost inaudible in the loud pitter-patter of the rain, he heard a quiet "Happy birthday."

He stopped, his eyes filling with tears once again. He smiled widely, his lower lip trembling, and turned to thank her, but she was already walking away, fading into the distance.

____________________

They ate in silence. The rain still poured outside; the only light in the room were the candles on the table; the rest of the room was shrouded in darkness.

Twilight Sparkle couldn't help but notice Spike's unusually sullen mood. He picked at his food, twirling his fork between his fingers. He ate a few bites, then put his fork down and stared at the flicking flame of the candle. Twilight didn't know whether to be worried or irritated. She'd put a lot of work into the casserole, and it was just plain wasteful not to eat it. On the other, Spike was almost never like this, unless he was thinking about Rarity and her frequent rejections. She decided not to ask, silently eating her food, inadvertently looking everywhere but at Spike.

Finally, just when the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife, Spike abruptly stood. He picked up his plate, and carried it to the sink. After washing it, he walked toward the staircase, not even looking at Twilight. "Thanks for the food," he said, as he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Goodnight."

After a pause, Spike continued up the stairs, before stopping again, out of Twilight's sight. She heard his voice once more, "It was my birthday today."

Oh sweet Celestia.

"Fluttershy remembered."

With that, the footsteps continued until he reached the top of the staircase. She could have sworn she heard a muffled sniffle. The floor above her creaked, and she heard the thud of what could only have been Spike falling into bed.

Twilight sat brooding for some time afterwards. The clock chimed eight o'clock. She didn't know why Spike was making such a big deal about this. Twilight felt horrible about forgetting Spike's birthday, but the dragon seemed unusually anguished over it. Surely it all was because of his aging?... It made sense. The puberty process of a young dragon was an intense one, and Spike was getting to be around that age. Twilight calmed a little. Surely, Spike was only overreacting because of hormones.

She'd be sure to make it up to him tomorrow. Pinkie Pie would bake the cake, of course. Something... Grand. Twilight would leave the specifics up to Pinkie. Rarity could surely be counted on to give up a few gems- the icing on the cake, so to speak. Applejack would supply some of her special apple cider by the barrel-full; Twilight would have to stop herself from restricting Spike on the amount he drank, like she normally did. The alcohol content in the cider wasn't high, but it usually was enough to make Spike tipsy even in small doses. Fluttershy would arrange a song to be sung by her birds; honestly, Spike wasn't one for music, but it would be a nice gesture. Twilight would try to convince Rainbow Dash to perform a sonic rainboom, and then they'd be set to go. Maybe Twilight would even break out some of her favorite strawberry wine afterwards and share some with Spike.

If anyone deserves as amazing a birthday party as possible, it's Spike

____________________

Twilight awoke the next morning with her face stuck to the table, a puddle of saliva having formed under her cheek. She jerked upwards, disgusted, and wiped her cheek with her hoof. She shook her head, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

How odd... This never happened, falling asleep at the table. Unless Twilight was reading late into the night, of course. But there wasn't a book in sight. I don't see Spike, either, she thought.

She heard the clanking of pots and pans in the kitchen, and felt relief flood through her. Moments later, Spiked stumbled into the dining room, balancing plates of in his hands and on his head. He wobbled across the room to the table, making it just before the platter of eggs toppled off of his head. He set the plates down and breathed a sigh of relief.

"... You made breakfast?" Twilight asked, incredulous.

"Yeah," Spike said, looking at the floor and shuffling his feet. "Kinda wanted to apologize for last night, you know?"

"Spike, I'm-"

"It's fine, Twilight," Spike said firmly. "You've had a lot on your mind lately. You can't be expected to remember everything."

Somehow, this just made Twilight feel worse.

____________________

The party was, simply put, amazing. It seemed as though everyone in town was there, even the folks Spike barely even knew, ponies like Lyra and Bon Bon, who had fervently wished Spike a happy birthday, each with a half-empty glass of something much darker than cider in hoof. After Spike had answered Lyra's slurred question of how old he was now, the pair had lapsed into fits of giggling, winking at him as he walked away. Spike stood for a moment, wondering if he'd just been hit on. He smiled. He had a feeling that, one way or another, tonight was gonna be awesome.

Somehow, Twilight had managed to book DJ Pon3 herself for his party, on a day's notice at that. Ponies everywhere were dancing, some of whom had obviously already had too much to drink. Spike himself hadn't had more than one cup of cider so far. Even though Twilight had notified him that he could now drink as much as he wanted, still, some part of him said that it was better to take it easy.

Now he leaned against a tree, along the edge of the forest, away from the crowd. The autumn air was cool and crisp, and he liked the quiet. After an hour or so of dancing and general party shenanigans, Spike's head had started to hurt. It occurred to him that he wasn't really one for hard partying. Spike suppose that he'd hung out with Twilight too much, and thus had whatever urge to party he may have otherwise had drained out of him. He'd need to get back soon, before people noticed his absence.

Spike sighed, and picked up his empty mug. The night was still young, and he was going to make the most of it. As he approached the town square once again, a great swell of cheering rose. He grinned, but noticed that it was not for him. The heads in the crowd were turned towards what appeared to be a mountain of frosting being pushed by none other than Rarity. In the light of the full moon, Spike could see the glimmering of what had to be dozens of gems lining the top layer. Mouth hanging open, saliva pooling in the back of his mouth, he walked zombie-like toward the cake.

Suddenly, he was assaulted with a shower of icing as Pinkie Pie burst out of the top layer, did a double-frontflip, and landed perfectly on her hind legs. "Ta-da!" she exclaimed, to a thunderous applause from the crowd. Spike laughed, trying his best to make it sound legitimate. He hated himself for it, but for whatever reason, he just couldn't get into the party. Maybe the cake would turn things around.

The first bite was splendid, an explosion of sugary flavor in his mouth combined with the somewhat fruity tang of the gems. Before he knew it, he'd devoured three whole slices, but he'd barely put a dent in the cake itself. Everyone else was stuffing their faces just as much.

Slowly, the cake began to diminish, as did the number of cake-eaters. Groans could be heard, as well as cries of "I think I ate too much..." Spike gad given up after five pieces, and had slumped down on a bench, satisfied. He found his eyes wandering in between the party goers, surveying the guests, and silently expressing his own personal opinions of them. His gaze fell upon the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were lamenting loudly of their full and somewhat upset bellies.

"I dunno why I had that seventh slice..." groaned a pained Scootaloo.

"I hear ya," Apple Bloom said. "When it comes to apple fritters, I can eat a million, but that cake was just too darn sweet or my likin'."

"Oh, is somepony not feeling well?" a mocking voice called out from the crowd. The Crusaders groaned even louder as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon emerged from the throng. "How about you, Sweetie Belle?" Diamond Tiara asked with mock-politeness. Sweetie belched in response, her face reddening. Diamond and Silver giggled.

"Well, Sweetie," Silver Spoon said. "Just letting you know, you might want to ease up on the cake." She leaned in, and said in a whisper that carried across the pavilion, "It's beginning to show a bit back there."

Diamond Tiara snorted. "Maybe she already has her Cutie Mark, and she just can't see it because it's buried in the fat." Both fillies guffawed with laughter.

Before Spike knew it, he was on his feet. He couldn't explain why he was angry, just seeing Sweetie Belle and the rest of them taunted and embarrassed had awoken some primal part of him. The faces of Diamond and Silver both went slack as they watched Spike approaching, saw the fury in his eyes, but quickly regained their smirks. But it was different this time; when they looked at him, the smirks concealed a sort of adoration. Spike could see it in their eyes, the way the lids drooped; the way the two subconsciously flicked their manes back as he approached, the same sort of behavior that Lyra and Bon Bon had displayed. They liked him. Under normal circumstances, this would have excited him. Now, it made him even angrier, the fact that these two could act so horribly to others and then try and hit on him.

"Hey, Spike," Diamond Tiara said. "Enjoying the party?..." When he didn't reply, she continued. "Don't let the... present company... scare you away, they'll be leaving soon enough." She shot a venomous glare at the Crusaders. "How about we go get some cider?..."

"Fuck off."

The jaws of everyone watching subsequently dropped. Spike immediately kicked himself mentally, muttered an apology, and stormed off. He roughly grabbed a mug of cider from a stand, cursing again as half of it spilled, and walked as fast as he could to the edge of the treeline. He sat down, resting against a broad stump of an oak tree, and closed his eyes. He didn't know how long he stayed there, his cider remaining untouched, before he heard the muffled sound of hoofsteps approaching. He sighed. "Twilight, no offense, but I don't really feel like talking right now."

"It's... It's me," Sweetie Belle's voice said.

Spike's eyes shot open. There she was, illuminated in the moonlight, smiling slightly. Somewhere in the back of his mind it occurred to him how beautiful she looked.

"Oh, hey," he stammered. When she didn't say anything, he continued. "Look, I'm sorry about that. It just kinda slipped out..."

"Actually, I came up to thank you," she said, he right forehoof dragging back and forth in the dirt. She wouldn't meet his gaze, for whatever reason.

"Yeah, well..." Spike said, and drew a blank. What was he supposed to say in a situation like this?...

"I suppose the... the bitch... had it coming," Sweetie Belle said, wincing slightly. It was as if she'd never cursed before, which wasn't surprising, what with her having Rarity as a sister. Spike couldn't tell if she was trying to impress him, or relate to him, or what. Either way, he couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I guess she did," Spike said, grinning at her.

Without meaning to, he stepped toward her. Before he knew it, Sweetie Belle had rushed forward and planted her lips against his.

Spike's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Sweetie's neck. His brainwaves turned to static, and for a moment, he forgot the world, forgot his birthday, forgot about the party... All that mattered was the mare in his arms now. He didn't know where the kiss came from, but frankly, he didn't care. It was the most spectacular feeling in the world.

She pulled away, before he was ready to let go. For a moment, he held her there, and they stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't... I didn't think."

Spike let go of her, and stepped back. His mind was a blur; he could hardly think straight.

"I..." he mumbled. "I think I'd better be getting back."

"Yeah, me too," she said quickly.

They both turned and began to walk back to the party at roughly the same pace.

The distance, which hadn't seemed so long before, now seemed like it stretched for miles. Neither would look the other in the eye.

What the hell, Spike though. He had to do something. Quickly and awkwardly, he closed the distance between them and hugged her once again. She tensed at first, and said nothing. After a moment, though, Spike felt her muscles relax, and she drew herself closer to him.

"Sweetie Belle," he said, in a way that he hoped didn't convey the awkwardness that he felt. "Do you think that you might be interested in... In..." He couldn't do it. Here he was, at the point of no return, and he couldn't go through with asking her out.

"Yes," she answered, not even needing him to finish. "Oh sweet Celestia, yes. I'd love to."

Spike laughed out loud with relief, and, suddenly, happiness. Pure and unfiltered joy. This was the first time he could recall ever feeling like this; it was like a drug. The moment seemed to last forever, an eternity of bliss. He held her, and they laughed.

Perhaps tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.