Better than art
Blackmail, what's that?
The image captured speed, heroism, skill... everything a Wonderbolt should aspire to. The lines and curves were well defined, he particularly enjoyed the crisp, well chiseled jaw that the artist had given him. But one thing was wrong...
"Still trying to figure out why Madam Mâchement De'caux drew your penis?" A voice undoubtedly belonging to one of Soarin's teammates said, her voice badly concealing her amusement. "Maybe she's trying to tell you something?"
Soarin straightened his tie in an attempt to look dignified. He turned his head slightly so he could give the flour white pony standing beside him a withering look.
"Thank you for your insight, Surprise. As always, I find it incredibly invaluable."
"You're welcome!" Surprise sang, immune to sarcasm as she always was. She stood by Soarin's side and examined the painting herself. After a moment's consideration she cocked her head on the side.
"I thought it would've been bigger." She said in a carefree manner.
"You know what Surprise? I finally remembered why I took the billet as the leader for Team Five in Manehatten." Soarin said scathingly. He tore himself away from the painting and picked another completely random artwork in the gallery to admire.
"Why?" Surprise asked lamely, following him like a loyal hound.
"Because you weren't there." Soarin answered bluntly, his distaste almost palpable.
"And that's awful! Think of all that time that I missed out hanging out with you! But now you're back we can be best buddies again. We can go to openings like this one, perform in shows together, pull pranks on Spitfire again, look at paintings with your pen-." Soarin held up a hoof to forestall her and she fell silent immediately. He looked around at the other guests with a weak smile, several were already regarding both him and Surprise with a mixture of confusion and disgust. He quickly moved away before they started muttering.
"Spitfire didn't pick you to be here, did she?" Soarin asked, fearing he knew the answer already. Surprise gave him a wide grin.
"Well she originally chose Fleetfoot as your number two but I made sure she was... ah, disposed of... for the evening." Surprise said without a trace of remorse. "I've never seen anypony react quite as suddenly to those laxatives..."
"I should report you." Soarin chided her.
"But you're not going to." Surprise said, examining another painting that depicted the Wonderbolts of Team One fighting a dragon that would've been larger than the exhibit hall.
Soarin felt a small smile creep onto his face. "No, I'm not. Frankly, Fleetfoot is a grumpy, farmhand loving, salmon addicted, self-obsessed git. You're much better company than she would be."
"Oh, so she's just like you?" Surprise said idly. "Is that why you slept with her?"
Soarin blinked quickly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Naturally."
Soarin fell silent for a moment. "I think I like this painting more." He said finally, steering the conversation in a much safer direction.
"Yes, the exclusion of you and your undersized phallus makes the painting much more tolerable in general." Surprise agreed, making Soarin scoff quietly. Despite her constant borderline insubordination and blatant disregard for military protocol, Surprise was a fantastic flier and it was widely believed amongst the Wonderbolts that was the only reason Spitfire hadn't discharged her yet... that or Surprise had some dirt in her that Spitfire didn't want public. Knowing the mare next to him, Soarin was inclined to believe both.
"Soarin, you reckon if I added a stick figure of you into this anypony would notice?"
"Don't even think about it." Soarin snapped. "We're here to generate goodwill, not cause mischief."
Surprise pouted but slid the pen she had procured back into her jacket pocket.
'Infinite mischief.' Soarin thought with a trace of amusement, guiding Surprise away from the painting before she got bored and drew him in anyway. They had barely reached the next painting when the unnecessarily wide doors at the end of the exhibition hall swung open and an armoured herald announced. "Presenting your princess, Twilight Sparkle!"
"Oh boy, more upper-class twits." Surprise said dully. as the majority of the room seemed to scrabble towards the door. The chance to acquit oneself with a princess being too good for any noble to ignore. "At least they won't bother me any more."
"Show some respect." Soarin said, looking casually at the small party being mobbed by the entrance. "She's saved Equestria more-." The words died in his throat as he recognised one of her party members. "Quick, hide me."
"Oohhhh." Surprise said saucily, following Soarin’s gaze and spotting the reason her teammate had started trying to hide behind her. "Somepony you've slept with?"
"No!" Soarin said defensively. "Why do you seem to think I sleep with anything that moves?"
"Well, with the number of foal support cases that cross your desk..."
"For the record I've yet to find a legitimate one." Soarin interrupted, ducking behind Surprise as the princess' party moved past them.
"Well it gives the impression that you sleep around more the Genghis Khan."
"Who?" Soarin asked, extracting himself from behind her.
"Not important." Surprise said dismissively. "Who is she anyway?"
"I don't have to tell you and I'm not going to tell you. That's my own business." Soarin said, straightening his tie again.
Surprise frowned. "Well this story doesn't go anywhere if you don't tell... so you may as well get started."
Soarin ignored her strange remark. "Mind your own business"
"How about you tell me or I might accidentally let slip to Spitfire you slept with a teammate."
"You wouldn't dare." Soarin growled. "You've had your fair share if I remember correctly, that broom cupboard incident with you and Wave Chill... or are you still claiming that was a broom?"
Surprise, to her credit looked unfazed. "Spitfire is still cross about what happened to her peace lily... I could tell her you dropped off the third floor balcony."
Soarin bit his lip in annoyance. "That's blackmail."
Surprise smiled innocently. "Oh is it? I didn't realise!" She continued smiling, knowing she finally backed Soarin into a corner.
"Her name is Rainbow Dash... and I hate you by the way."
"Yeah, yeah. Get on with it. The name sounds familiar."
"You've probably heard Spitfire throw it around. Probably with '...isn't on the team yet. Why not?' stuck on the end. She's one of the best fliers I know."
"And the best being?"
"Myself, obviously."
"Do you like get off by overinflating your ego?" Surprise asked with an over the top eye roll. “Sp how’d you meet this mare anyway? And why did you hide from her?
Soarin glared at her. It was a story he'd rather not tell Surprise, regardless of what she'd threatened to do.
"Clock is ticking, Soarin."
Soarin finally relented, deciding that Spitfire's wrath was worse than whatever Surprise could do with his story. "We first met back when I was in the Lower Cloudsdale Flight Academy..."
***
Soarin stared out the classroom window, bored. The words of his teacher, Mr Elm washed over him as the aging stallion droned on about how the alliance between the Griffin Kingdoms and Equestria had been formed.. Something useless and uninteresting, Soarin thought as he quickly scanned the classroom quickly, discovering that most of his fellow students were just as brain-dead, of not more so, than he was.
'Please, please, pleases let something interesting happen. I might fall into a coma.' Soarin thought, looking outside enviously at a senior class playing a game on the outer flight field. As if responding to his plea, a quick trio of knocks rang out on the door. Mr Elms. ignored it at first until the knocks came again. An annoyed look crossed the aged stallion's features and he pulled the door open roughly to reveal a young mare. Her mane was windswept and unkempt and by the look on her face and her flushed cheeks, it looked as if she had just been arguing with somepony. She wordlessly thrust a scrap of paper towards Mr Elm. Most interesting to the class was her mane which ran down the back of neck in almost all the colours of the rainbow. Soarin had never seen anything like it before.
"I see. Take a seat at the back. You have work to do I trust?" Mr Elm said dully.
She nodded crossly.
"Good, now don't disturb my class any further thank you." He said waving her away and launching back into his tirade. A few heads turned discretely to fellow the mare but most of the class' energy seemed sapped by their teacher's lecture.
Silent, she shuffled to the back of the class and drew up a seat next to Soarin. He continued to stare at her, struck by her rough yet attractive appearance. If he had more eyes he was sure he'd find most of the boys in the class were paying more attention to her than the teacher. Mr Elm's lecture continued but Soarin wasn't paying attention. The mare next to him had him hook, line and sinker and she didn't know he existed yet.
"Hi." Soarin whispered nervously.
Her glare flickered to him before returning to her books silently.
"I'm Soarin, what's your name?" Soarin pressed.
She grunted something under her breath,
Soarin sighed quietly and resumed staring out the window, whatever futile chance he had at not being bored for the next hour slipping through his hooves
"Rainbow Dash." he heard. Turning his head slowly he found her staring at him. Soarin was surprised by the voice that came out of her mouth... it didn't seem quite right. Almost too much like a boy's. He quickly checked to make sure Mr. Elm was engrossed in his speech before turning back to her.
"What are you here for?"
"Hit somepony. Nearly broke his nose. He called me a lesbian." She muttered under her breath ruefully.
Soarin decided pointing out she sounded like a boy was unwise. "Cool..." He trailed off. "What's with your... your..."
"My voice?" She guessed crossly.
"Your mane." Soarin corrected quickly, not wanting to be her second victim of the day.
She shrugged. "Dunno, it's always been this way,"
Soarin shrugged and flashed a cruel smile at a brown stallion a few chairs away. The stallion crushed a note he'd been writing and looked away defeated.
"How come I've haven't seen you around here before?" Soarin asked, turning back to Rainbow Dash.
"I was at Wrestpoint until about a week ago. Still fairly new here."
Soarin's jaw dropped. "You were at Wrestpoint? What made you come to this shithouse?"
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Got kicked out. Apparently the dean doesn't like it when I beat the entire track team and then beat up the captain to a pulp."
"What he'd do?"
She shrugged again. "He asked me out."
Soarin snorted loudly, attracting the attention of the class along with Mr Elms. The wizened pony started at him for a moment with contempt.
"Soarin, contain yourself please..." He trailed off as he noticed Rainbow Dash next to him. "You, move." He ordered, pointing at an empty desk behind Soarin. "Now... where was I?"
"Talking me into a coma..." Soarin muttered under his breath.
***
"And then?" Surprise asked impatiently.
"Well.. that's it." she left after class finished and I didn't see her again for a week or so. Guess she had some sort of internal suspension."
"And then?"
Soarin fixed an eye on her. "You're needy."
"I'm curious. Sue me."
Soarin stared at her. "I'm considering it."
Surprise impatiently gestured for him to continue. Soarin left her in suspense, admiring another piece of art showing the Wonderbolts assembled in the Cloudsseum.
"I eventually sought her out in the cafeteria. We had some friendly-ish conversation... mostly from me. I think she tolerated me only because no one else would talk to her. Even so, I had my own friends and she was just this mare I started having a crush on and despite what you might think, she was totally out of my league. At least at the time.."
"You had friends? I thought you were just a cranky, old hermit." Surprise interjected.
"Thank you Surprise, I'll remember that next comment time I have to roster latrine duty." Soarin said dryly. "Anyway, in our conversations we discovered each other's passion for flight. Naturally we became very competitive on the track... When I had time to spare." Soarin gave a small, mischievous smile. "Which ended up being quite a lot."
***
"And I win! Again." Rainbow Dash boasted proudly as Soarin buzzed over the finish line. He was a full fifteen seconds behind her. 'How embarrassing...' he thought as he touched down. "Not really much of a surprise but I thought the idea was to get faster, not slower, Soarin."
"Your run on the obstacle course before lunch would like some words with you." Soarin muttered, trying to claw back some dignity. In straight line speed Rainbow Dash blew Soarin out of the water but despite her lighter build, Soarin was the more skilled at acrobatics.
"Bah, you're just jealous." Rainbow Dash said, dismissively. She gave Soarin a friendly punch on the shoulder. The near daily exercise sessions had toughened Soarin considerably. Steely bands of muscles had started to appear under his coat and his constantly windswept look gave him a rough, handsome appearance that had made him rather popular with the female student body (not to mention a fair few of the stallions as well...). If Rainbow Dash had noticed his change in appearance over the last few months she hadn't commented, rather keeping her mind focused on not getting in trouble and flying faster than anypony else. For what felt like the hundredth time since he had started growing fond of her, Soarin briefly wondered if she even liked Stallions,
Soarin grunted and pretended to be examine the leader boards posted on the bottom of the grandstand. Much to his horror, Rainbow Dash had already topped most of the events and in the case of the 500 metre dash, smashed the record by almost an entire five seconds.
"Admiring my greatness?" She asked, stepping next to him and looking at the posted times with a wide grin.
"I'm not looking the right way to be admiring your greatness." Soarin said, the words out of his mouth before he could think. He didn't have time to even raise a hoof to defend himself before Rainbow Dash pummeled him to the ground with two quick strikes.
"Ow..." Soarin wheezed. It felt like she had cracked one of his ribs.
"I thought you were better than that." Rainbow Dash snapped, marching off indignantly to the shower rooms. She tossed Soarin another dirty look before vanishing inside.
"Soarin, you alright?!" A voice that Soarin's spinning head vaguely recognised as belonging to his friend Lightning Streak asked with concern.
"Fine." Soarin wheezed painfully, gladly accepting a helping hoof from his friend.
"She just floored you. What'd you do?"
"I flirted with her. Accidentally."
Lightning Streak snorted in amusement and looked towards the showers. "That's so hot."
"You have a misguided sense of what is 'hot', my friend."
"Whatever, let's just get you to the nurse. You look like rubbish."
***
"Turns out she fractured a rib, it wasquite painful to fly with. No unicorns up in Cloudsdale to give me a quick fix as you might imagine."
"Lightning Streak, you mean as in the Wonderbolt?" Surprise asked, tapping her chin thoughtfully.
Soarin nodded. "Yes, we graduated together. We were good friends in the academy but drifted apart when he moved to Las Pegasus."
Surprise shrugged and played with a lock of her mane. "So you hid from her tonight because she beat you up ages ago?" She asked slowly, piecing together bits of the story.
"Sweet Celestia no." Soarin laughed. "If I can face a dragon without wetting my flight suit I'm sure I can stand you to a single mare, even one as formidable as her."
Surprise frowned deeply. "Then why'd you hide like a nancy-pansy?"
"You know I don't like being called a nancy-pansy. Don't call me a nancy-pansy."
Surprise leaned in close to Soarin' ear. "Nancy.... Pansy..." She whispered in a voice Soarin would have imagined more suitable for the bedroom. Soarin had the sudden urge for a cold shower as Surprise stepped back from him.
"Do that again and I'll have you court-martialed for harassment."
"So what happened then?" Surprise asked, completely ignoring Soarin's threat.
Soarin glared at her mutinously, the unassuming and innocent look on Surprise's face not exactly helping with his composure. He glared silently at her.
"Come on Soarin, this is an interesting story!" Surprise complained.
Soarin remained impassive.
"Alright I'm sorry I called you a nancy-pansy." Surprise said quietly. "It won't happen again, sir."
"Thank you." Soarin said simply. "Apology accepted."
Surprise brightened slightly and her infamously large smile returned. "So...?" She asked.
"Well, the next week was awkward to say the least."
***
The cafeteria was buzzing with activity. Students darted from table to table, yelled and caused a general ruckus that several hundred students in the same room created. Soarin dodged a speeding yellow blur, grimacing with discomfort as his leg brushed against his recently bandaged chest. Nearly an entire week had passed since she had punched him and the two hadn't shared a word. She'd ignored him completely during the few classes they shared and Soarin hadn't even bothered trying to catch her in the air.
"Hey, Soarin! Over here!"
Soarin turned to see a small knot of ponies clustered around the end of a table. His friends waved him over and gestured for him to join them.
"Feel better?"
"A little." Soarin admitted, not taking the proffered seat.
"You gonna sit down?"
"No, I've got to sort something out with somepony." He said, sharing a quick look with Lightning Streak."
"You're gonna go see your girlfriend?" A few friendly jeers answered this comment.
"She's not my girlfriend." Soarin snapped back immediately.
"Sure, sure. you just spend every day with Rainbow Dash 'practicing'. She's one of the hottest mares in the academy! You expect us to believe you don't want to play around with her?"
Soarin made a disgusted sound deep in his throat and spun on the spot. marching away from his friends before they could heckle him more.
'I'm not interested in Rainbow Dash, I'm not interested in Rainbow Dash, I'm not interested in Rainbow Dash... who am I kidding? Of course I am.' He thought sourly. Ever since he'd first seen her he'd been enthralled by her beauty and after talking with her had appreciated her tough, no-nonsense personality. It'd taken all his courage to talk to her the first time but now that he was apparently so self-confident that he was subconsciously flirting with her, it was disappointing to see her rebuke him so aggressively. 'Heck, maybe she is a lesbian!' Soarin thought glumly as he searched the crowded cafeteria for her. He eventually spotted her in the far corner, alone save for a few hopeful yet naive onlookers. Trying to ignoring his nervousness, Soarin slowly sat down opposite her. Her eyes shot up and locked with his for a moment before flickering away.
"I didn't tell the nurse you did it." Soarin said, breaking the awkward long silence between them. A flicker of relief crossed her features before the expressionless veil fell again.
"Rainbow Dash." Soarin said. "I'm sorry."
She bit her lip and looked down at her food. Soarin felt a surge of anger rise up. "Look you stubborn, pig-headed, arrogant, lice-ridden baboon-bottomed buffoon, I'm just trying to sort things out between us. You're my friend and you might not like to admit it but I'm yours as well. I made a mistake, a stupid careless mistake and you're treating it like I brought up the... the holocaust or something. I'm trying to apologise, trying to set things straight so that we can both get on with our lives; with or without each other. So please, don't just sit there in silence, ignoring me while I'm sticking my neck out trying to make things right." He fumed. A few painful seconds passed and Soarin started to wonder if he was in for another beating,
"You're right." She said finally.
Soarin breathed a sigh of relief. "So you're not going to break another one of my ribs?"
She shook her head. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Sorry."
Soarin felt as if the a weight had been taken off his chest. She didn't hate him. "What was that all about anyway? I make one little comment and you completely loose it."
"I thought you were going to become one of... them." Rainbow said, the usual edge in her voice gone. She shot a dark look at a few stallions sitting a few tables away."As sad as this sounds Soarin, you're the only friend I have here. And when you- you know..."
"Flirted with you?" Soarin added helpfully.
"Yes, whatever. Anyway, I panicked. I wasn't ready for that, not from you, at least."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Soarin asked, slightly offended.
"What I meant to say is that you're different. You're the only guy I've ever met who hasn't just taken me for either a lesbian, a toy or a combination of both. You treat me... like a friend."
"I see." Soarin said bitterly. "Doesn't mean you have to go hit anypony."
"That's... something else. Don't tell anypony else okay?" Rainbow admitted, slumping over the table. Soarin raised his eyebrows in surprise, she had never confided anything in him before. "Remember when I told you about how I got kicked out of Wrestpoint?"
"Yeah."
Rainbow looked around shiftily. "That wasn't entirely true."
"You didn't go to Wrestpoint?" Soarin guessed.
"I did... just... The captain of the track team... kinda had a thing for me. He followed me everywhere, harassed me endlessly. I eventually reported him for sexual harassment. When he found out he tried to have his way with me. He wasn't as tough as he made himself out to be and I beat him to a pulp... I had him begging for mercy." A flash of dark humour crossed her face. "Unfortunately the dean at Wrestpoint turned out to be his dad and he didn't see it that way. The whole thing got covered up and I got kicked out for sending his son to hospital."
"And you thought I was going to become that?" Soarin asked, horrified.
Rainbow Dash grinned sheepishly. "Maybe."
"You have some serious trust issues."
"Are we cool then?" She asked, brushing off his criticism.
"I guess so." Soarin said cheerfully.
"Sp now what?"
He grinned cheekily. "Can I flirt with you again?"
***
Surprise giggled quietly. "So subtle Soarin. Seriously, that's the best you could think of?" She managed between fits of quiet mirth.
"Well I got much better at it, didn't I?" Soarin countered.
"Yes, too good one would say. Now you can't keep the mares off you." Surprise noted as a mare trotted past, giving Soarin a suggestive wink.
The lines on Soarin's face deepened and he suddenly looked many years older. "No, no I can't." he said sadly.
Surprise looked around as if to look for the real Soarin. "Soarin what are you saying? You've been a bit of a tail-chaser since... well, as long I've been on the team."
Soarin shook his head wearily. "Personally I like to keep it a minimum. The number of them that approach me though..." He sighed and considered his words carefully. "Makes it somewhat difficult to resist." He turned back to look at Surprise. "How many of them do you think want me for the flight suit or for what's in the flight suit?"
"Speaking for mares everywhere, I think it'd rather the contents." Surprise answered dryly.
Soarin blinked and shook his head in disapproval.
"You liked her, didn't you?" Surprise asked.
"I thought that was fairly obvious when I told you." Soarin said.
Surprise knitted her brows together. "You told me? I just keep getting these weird flashbacks."
Soarin sighed in exasperation. "If you're just going to be stupid, forget it." He muttered sourly.
Surprise let out a tiny squeak. "No, no! Please, go on." She pawed the ground."It's a very interesting story."
"That you blackmailed me into telling." Soarin reminded her sternly.
Surprise grinned meekly, for once cowed by her superior officer. "Sorry."
Soarin grunted and straightened his tie again. "Don't do it again."
"So you liked her."
Soarin nodded. "She was special to me. Despite our rivalry at the Academy she treated me like I was her best friend. As a Wonderbolt she treats me as a real pony, not just some object to cuddle up to for status.”
Surprise looked at a large painting on the wall that depicted a stern looking Spitfire hanging on the opposite wall. "Did you ever tell her that you liked her?"
Soarin's face fell. "I like to think she knew. I did eventually tell her but the timing..." he shook his head.
Surprise lay her head on the table they had found. "D- did she say she liked back? Did you ever get together?"
Soarin allowed a small smile to grace his features. "For a brief moment. In what was otherwise one of the worst years for me emotionally, there was one bright spark. Just one."
Surprise's face fell. "So I'm not going to get a happy ending?"
"Not from me, no." Soarin said with a tiny chuckle. "Do you still want to hear it?"
"Does it mean we get another flashback?" Surprise asked.
"A w- what?" Soarin asked the smile falling off his face. "I'm telling you. It's just me." He placed a hoof on his chest. "Telling you." he pointed the aforementioned hoof at her.
"Right, of course." Surprise said. "What was I thinking?"
"I don't even want to know." Soarin interjected. "Anyway, it was senior year. We'd known each other for a couple of years when she gave the first sign that she liked me... well more than just a track buddy... rival... thing at any rate."
***
"And I win, yet again!"
"Yeah yeah." Soarin muttered. "I was only a tenth of a second slower than you though."
"I was giving you a chance. Two years and you still haven't beaten me in a race."
"Two years and you still haven't beaten me on the obstacle course." He rebutted. "I'm the fastest stallion on campus by a long shot."
"Well." Rainbow Dash said, drawing uncomfortably close. "I'm still faster than you." Her breath washed over Soarin, setting his senses alight. She'd more playful than usual over the last few weeks. Bumping into him, brushing her wings against his and on one occasion licking his cheek when he stole some of her lunch. All of Soarin's friends bar one, Lightning Streak, had dropped out of Advanced Flight Academy leaving him few social options besides the thick-headed mare beside him.
"Bit close Dashie." Soarin joked, knowing the use of her pet name would annoy her.
She gave him a soft glare in response and drew away to a more sociable distance.
"How are you going with your classes?" Soarin asked casually.
She shrugged. "Fine I guess. We going to hit the showers or sit around and talk all day?" She wrinkled her nose up dramatically. "You smell worse than a Timberwolf stuck in a swamp."
"A what?" Soarin asked, absently making his way towards the showers.
"Imagine a wolf but bigger and made of wood. Lots of fangs and has a taste for equine."
"Sounds scary. Can it fly?"
"Only if you hit one hard enough."
Soarin chuckled. "Have you had your careers counselling yet?"
"Yeah. Boring! I already know what I want to do." She struck a dramatic pose. "Be a Wonderbolt."
"Well you do have a knack for flying, I'll give you that." Soarin admitted. "But really, the entry level for the Wonderbolt Academy is very high. The counsellor was going over it with me... they want more than just a good set of wings. They only take a few of the candidates on for further training each year. After that you have to enlist, go to Officer Cadet School, graduate, be in active service for at least another year upon which they'll finally take you back for another two rounds of screening. Only the brightest and best get through."
"Well you're looking at the brightest and best!" Rainbow flaunted.
"Hmm. Quite." Soarin said looking her up and down slowly before walking towards the shower blocks.
"Soarin."
"Yes?" Soarin asked, turning back around to face her.
"The senior formal is another few weeks away. Now really, I don't really care about that sort of stupid stuff but..."
"But...?" Soarin asked, trying to sound casual.
"Don't suppose you've thought about who you'll be taking?" She asked, shuffling her hooves. "Not that I care, really."
"Haven't really thought about it to be honest." Soarin lied.
"Suppose you've been hounded by almost everypony right?" She laughed nervously.
"My dorm is positively full of invitations." Soarin said. "Lightning Streak is complaining that he needs more space for his books."
"Well... ah... I mean." she scratched the back of her head nervously. "I don't suppose... actually, never mind it was stupid anyway."
"Rainbow Dash." Soarin said bemusedly. "Are you terrified of asking me to the formal."
"No! No..." She snapped, blushing furiously. "Maybe."
"I'd love to go with you." Soarin said. "You know I like you."
"You mean just as friends, right?" She asked quickly.
"Just as friends." Soarin echoed, pretending that he didn't feel a little deflated.
"Thank you, Soarin," She said with a nervous smile. "Better go have that shower now."
***
Soarin blinked. "Now that I think of it, how'd you get into the Wonderbolts? You're certainly neither bright nor the best."
"I can be brilliant when I want to be." Surprise said casually. "I just choose to not be."
Soarin shrugged. "Suppose."
"So she asked you to your senior formal?" That was the highlight of the year?"
"Well technically I asked her." Soarin pointed out. "She couldn't even get it out. But yes, that was one of the highlights."
Surprise looked at him and shook her head slowly. "You are a sad, sad pony and you have my sympathy."
"I don't want it."
"Well you have it. How bad was the rest of the year if the high point was being asked to go to the formal?"
Soarin shrugged. "The formal itself was fine I guess. We talked, we ate and we danced very awkwardly. Just one thing went wrong. One thing. I finally told her I liked her... I mean for real! It just came out, I was just so damn nervous!"
"Don't say it..." Surprise said preemptively.
"Apparently I was a friend, a rival... Her ‘special friend.’ I never felt more stupid.” Soarin said bitterly. “I was naive enough to believe I’d actually get a straight response out of her. I left early, slipped out when she was in the bathroom. or something.”
"I was really hoping you wouldn't say that." Surprise said. "Can't get much worse than that right? Mare you've liked for a few years just says you're that one friend."
Soarin rubbed his eyes. "It got worse."
***
'A week.' Soarin thought. 'How can it only be a week since I screwed up?'
He rolled over on his bunk and stared at the ceiling blankly. The cramped dorm he shared with Lightning Streak was still stacked full of revision notes and discarded textbooks even though their exams had past some weeks earlier. Soarin's roommate was in his bunk below him, head lost in some fantasy novel series. His eyes shifted to the poster of the Wonderbolts he had hung above his bed and silently wondered how his application had gone.The thought of the Wonderbolts brought Rainbow Dash back to the forefront of his mind. 'No, get out of my head. She doesn't care about you, just forget about her.' He thought glumly, unsuccessfully trying to push his thoughts of her from his mind.
"Please stop tossing and turning, you're ruining my concentration." Lightning Streak said dryly.
"Sorry." Soarin muttered. A long silence followed, a page being turned and the occasional gust of wind the only sounds.
"Alright that's it!" Lightning Streak yelled abruptly, throwing his precious book against the wall and flying up to Soarin.
"What'd I do now?"
"This... this moping. I've never seen you more depressed." He snapped. "Now tell me what's wrong." His voice dropped. "Please."
"I don't want to talk about it." Soarin said, rolling over again.
"Now listen here-." Lightning Streak started before being interrupted by a series of rapid knocks on the door. He scowled fiercely at Soarin again before sailing down to the door and opening it. Soarin didn't bother listening to the short conversation and the first sign that his roommate had finished was Lightning Streak slapping him on the back of the head.
"Hey, get up! Mail for you."
"Don't want it." Soarin said.
"You might, it's from the Wonderbolt Academy."
Soarin sat bolt upright, banging his head on the low ceiling and took the proffered letter with a grimace.
"Clever." Lightning Streak said, ripping open a similar letter.
"You don't suppose they've taken up the both of us?" Soarin said, Rainbow Dash’s rejection momentarily forgotten.
"I made the cut!" Lightning Streak cheered, turning the letter over to show Soarin. "What about you...?"
"It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted into the Wonderbolt's Advanced Flight Academy!" Soarin said, his jaw dropping in surprise. He never imagined they'd accept him, never in a million years. The news that both he and Lightning Streak had qualified was the best thing he'd heard all week. Their celebration was cut short by another knock on the door.
"What is it now-?" Lightning Streak snarled. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash."
Soarin's heart skipped a beat.
"Hello."
"What brings you to our neck of the woods?" Lightning Streak asked, trying to make himself look much cooler than he actually was.
"Drop the act you try-hard, is Soarin here?"
"Yeah he is." He muttered crossly, turning his head towards Soarin's bunk. "Good luck getting him out."
"Soarin, get your butt down here!" She called.
"You hear that Soarin? Your girlfriend wants you!" Lightning Streak teased, picking his book up and tossing himself back into his bunk. Soarin reluctantly looked over the edge of his bunk and locked eyes with Rainbow Dash.
"I guess you two are going to head out?" Lightning Streak asked, clearly wishing they were somewhere else. Soarin's stomach churned and he suddenly wished he was back under his blankets.
"Exactly. Just because exams are over doesn't mean we don't have to do our daily routine, right Soarin? You've missed it for the last week."
"No." He muttered glumly, slithering out his bunk with a speed that made a sloth look supersonic.
"Let's go then." She ordered, pulling Soarin by his mane down to the training field. Only a few students other were around, the majority having gone into Cloudsdale itself to celebrate the end of their education.
"You ready to get your butt whooped?" Rainbow Dash jeered, already in position to begin their daily calisthenics
"I guess so."
"You were going easy on me." Rainbow Dash complained an hour and a half later. "I know you can do better than what you did."
"I still beat you on the obstacle course." Soarin reminded her.
"I had a bad start." She countered.
"Rubbish. I beat you fair and square."
"Whatever." Rainbow said, brushing it off as casually as she did anything else. They trotted towards the shower block silently, a stark constant to their usual chatty behaviour. If she had noticed Soarin’s dark mood she hadn’t commented on it yet, something Soarin was silently grateful for.,
"Uhh..." Soarin grunted as he noticed the showers for the stallion was closed and locked.
"No big deal, just come over to the mare's one."
"Uhh... I'll just have a shower later." Soarin said, happy to slink off back to his dorm alone.
"Na-ah, if you go back to the dorms in your state you'll reduce the living population to zero. Shower, now." Rainbow ordered.
"But that's the mare's showers." Soarin complained.
"Well you're most of the way there already." Rainbow jeered.
"Somepony might see me."
Rainbow Dash gestured to the empty fields "Who? We're the only ones down here. Everypony else is getting smashed up at Cloudsdale."
"But... you'll be in there. And you won't be wearing anything."
Rainbow shrugged. "I'm not wearing anything now, what's the difference with a bit of water on me?"
Soarin had to admit she had a point. "Alright, whatever. It's your fault if I get in trouble though."
"Just get going, I think I'm struggling for air here."
Soarin grinned thinly and entered the showers, slightly surprised it was the exact same as the one he was used to. He chose a shower at random and turned the tap, letting the cold water run over him. A few seconds later another spray of water appeared next to him as Rainbow Dash started her own.
"What are you doing?" Soarin asked as it finally clicked she was showering next to him.
"Having a shower." She answered. "Got a problem with that?"
"Did you have to take the one next to me?" Soarin asked, averting his eyes. She snickered quietly.
"Embarrassed?"
Soarin stole a glance at her, her mane was slick with water and her wings were unfurled at her side, resting with their tips in the water at her hooves. She smiled and spat a jet of water she had pooled in her mouth at him.
"Lovely." Soarin said deadpan. He shut his eyes and imagined this wasn't happening. A week ago he would've been thrilled to be showering next to Rainbow Dash but after the formal... well, she'd been pretty clear of what she thought of him. Why was she doing this now then?
"Hey Soarin, what do you think about Lightning Streak?"
"He's a very clever pony who can also be a bit of an arse." Soarin said back. "Why?"
"Well before, he... uh, called me your girlfriend... what do you think of that?"
"I don't understand."
"Soarin, open your eyes." She ordered.
Reluctantly. Soarin opened his eyes to see Rainbow standing a few centimetres in front of his face, a shy look on her face.
"Well... maybe... maybe he’s right?" She said, blinking some water out of her eyes.
Soarin's heart hammered inside his chest. "But I thought you..." He stammered before she pressed her lips against his.
***
"Aww!" Surprise squealed. "That's so cute!"
"You're ruining the moment." Soarin snapped.
***
Soarin's brain went blank as she pressed against his lips. It was much better than anything he ever imagined. Who knows how long he stayed there, lips locked with Rainbow Dash's, the water from the shower head pattering down on their heads softly. Although he knew it was mere seconds it felt like hours. It was with great reluctance he broke the contact and pushed her away.
"Sorry, I can't." He whispered. His chest felt like it wanted to burst.
Rainbow Dash looked hurt. "What do you mean? I thought this is what you wanted?"
Soarin felt like a knife had been stuck in his gut. "I do... but-."
"But?"
"I'm seeing somepony else."
***
"WHAT?" Surprise shrieked, living up to her name and making Soarin jump a good metre..
"Please, don't interrupt. It was a painful moment and I'd rather it not last longer than it needs to." Soarin said sternly, hiding his emotion with a skill that a rock would be jealous of.
“YOU WERE SEEING SOMEPONY ELSE?’
“Let me explain!”
***
"WHAT?" Rainbow Dash yelled. " I thought you liked me! You avoid me all week and when I finally muster up the courage to show you how I feel about you, you tell me you're taken?!"
Soarin felt the knife go deeper. "I'm so sorry-."
"SORRY? YOU'RE SORRY? Do you know how STUPID I feel?"
"You left me hanging for two years." Soarin snapped back, his shame replaced by anger. "How do you think I feel?"
Rainbow Dash ignored him. "Who's this mare anyway?"
"One of those ones that keep following me around. We've had a few lunches together and she seems nice enough."
Rainbow was close to tears. "Do you like her?"
"Not really, no." Soarin admitted, holding back two years worth of emotion with great difficulty.
"Then just dump her! You said so yourself, two years! You've had a week with this mare." She sniffled, tears running down her face and mixing with the shower's spray.
"You left me for two years in doubt. Two years. When I finally work up the courage to tell you how I feel, you turn me down." Soarin said, surprised by how vengeful he sounded. “The world doesn't revolve around you.”
"W-what? You don't understand." Rainbow Dash cried. The knife slipped deeper. "I've liked you for a while Soarin... I just took my time telling you. I was so shocked when you said you liked me at the formal... I was going to tell you afterwards but you vanished."
"Well you're too late." Soarin said, trying to not show how hurt and stupid he felt. "You had your chance."
Her bottom lip trembled and she reached out to Soarin but he pushed her back. "I can't.." Soarin said again.
"S-s SCREW YOU!" She screamed. "I never want to see your pathetic face again, I hope you rot you bastard!" She yelled, kicking Soarin squarely in the jaw and knocking him to the ground. Soarin's head spun as he hit the tiles and before he could cry out in pain she had already bolted, a faint rainbow trail in the air the only sign of her passing.
"Rainbow Dash! Come back... please.” Soarin cried, trying to stand but his body refused. He let his head fall against the tiles again. "I'm sorry." he whimpered.
***
Surprise's jaw hung open. It took a moment for her to regain basic motor skills and even then it just opened and closed like some sort of obscene grinder.
"Yeah." Soarin said quietly. "Wasn't exactly a high point." He rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"And what then? Did you chase her down?"
"By the time I managed to get off the floor and get back to dorm she was gone. Lightning Streak said he had never seen anypony move so fast."
"She just left? Didn't even graduate?"
"Yep. Dropped out in the last couple of weeks. Not that it mattered much in the end. Turns out she was failing most of her subjects anyway. Seems like she may of stuck around in our last year for me."
"And what about the Wonderbolts? She didn't get an acceptance letter?"
"Lightning Streak had a look around her dorm later... apparently 'Rampant Narcissism' is not a desired trait. No, she only recently got admitted to the academy." Soarin said stoically.
"Well that'd just be the kick in the pants..." Surprise said sadly. "What about this other mare? Was she worth it?"
Soarin shook his head. "Found her with another guy's musket in her firing slot the next day. Gave me the impression she really wasn't that interested."
"That's an unusual euphemism." Surprise said, choking back a laugh. "What was her name?"
"Funny, I don't remember. I can clearly remember her moans of ecstasy as the other guy nailed her though. They say you always remember your first time but I don't think it's supposed to apply when somepony else is having sex with your girlfriend."
Surprise laughed despite the look of distraught on her face. Soarin found himself chuckling with her, much to his surprise. Their mirth expended, they sat in quiet contemplation.
"So that's why you hid from her tonight?" Surprise asked finally.
"Thankfully, no." Soarin said back. "I didn't see her until I became a fully fledged Wonderbolt. She saved my life, something which I have yet to repay her for and then later that year she saved my dinner at the Grand galloping Gala. First one I'd been to and I was backing Spitfire for the night. I really wanted to talk to her, to reconcile..."
Surprise looked at him, a look of suspense on her face.
"Spitfire forbade me from talking to her. Something about learning discipline and respecting the uniform."
"That's rubbish."
Soarin shrugged. "She's the captain. Anyway, I didn't see her again for a while after that but I heard things. Things like beating Discord, smashing dragons in the face and appearing in a major theatre production."
Surprise snorted in amusement. "Varied hobbies and interest I see. Somepony could make a TV series out of her life."
"Don’t be ridiculous." Soarin snapped. "You're just being stupid."
"Yes, sir." Surprise giggled. "So when'd you see her next?"
"Royal wedding. Captain of the Guard and that princess. You remember that one?"
"Too many princesses, I lost count after the first two. Was it the pink or the purple one?"
"Surprise, focus." Soarin berated her.
"Right, wedding. What happened?"
"We bumped into each other. She asked me to dance with her. Something about making up for the horrendously awkward dancing at our Formal. Needless to say it was still horrendously awkward."
"You slept with her, didn't you?" Surprise asked, sure she had the answer. "A passionate session of lovemaking followed by a speedy getaway will make almost any mare indignant."
"No, I didn't! You already asked me that, remember?"
Surprise stared at Soarin silently for a full minute before finally exploding into angrish. "Then why did you hide from her tonight?!" She finally managed, ignoring the fact at least half of the patrons in the hall were now looking in her direction.
Soarin looked down sheepishly as the crowd slowly lost interest. "I... I've never apologised to her. Well, at least when she wasn't trying to turn me into a floor decoration."
"Then stop being a coward and tell her you're sorry. How bad can it be?"
"Not quite as easy when you've developed feelings for them." Soarin admitted.
"Ah-ha!" Surprise said triumphantly. "You still want to sleep with her!"
Soarin gave Surprise a bemused look. "What's with you and saying I sleep with everypony?"
"Well you do..."
Soarin sighed sadly. "I think it'd be easier to just let it go. Nut up and get over some stupid crush I had in Flight Academy."
"But you still like her now don’t you?!" Surprise objected. "You said so yourself, she was special."
"Surprise, I haven't held a conversation with her for years. Heck, she probably already has a boyfriend." Soarin muttered.
"Since when do I have a boyfriend?"
Soarin coughed and yelped in surprise at the same time, a sound like a dying dog coming out of his mouth instead. Surprise turned an even paler shade of white if that were even possible. The two Wonderbolts turned in unison to find the amused face of Rainbow Dash behind them. A white and light blue dress was draped over her and a simple necklace was hanging from her neck, swinging slightly as she chuckled lowly.
"Hey." She said simply.
"How long have you been there?" Soarin asked.
She shrugged. "A while, I mean why look at pictures of Wonderbolts when there are two real ones right here?"
Soarin's mouth opened and closed like a stranded fish. He wasn't sure if he should stare at her eyes or her hooves and in the end looked like he was checking her out vigorously.
"Why are you staring? Have you completely forgotten what you were going to say or did they just tell you that works in OCS? You know when my mind goes blank I like to go with my old standby which of course is 'Go screw yourself, do I need to include instructions with that?'" Rainbow said to Soarin a little too sweetly. She turned to Surprise. "I haven't met you before. Surprise isn't it?"
"Yes. Soarin's told me so much about you." Surprise blurted out. "Just for the record despite what I've said about him sleeping around, I'm sure he's a loving and dedicated stallion."
"Surprise, shut up. Consider it a standing order." Soarin barked embarrassedly. "Go get us some drinks would you, a scotch would be nice."
"I'll have what he's having." Rainbow said.
"Thank you." Soarin said, nodding his head as surprise scurried off.
"I thought they taught you to check your six in flight school?" Rainbow taunted.
"Wingpony covers the leadpony. Surprise should've seen you." Soarin said quickly.
"Excuses, excuses." She uttered. "How's life?" She asked lamely.
"Decent. Yours?"
"Could be better."
"Hmm." Soarin grunted before falling silent. He examined Rainbow Dash again. "Why were you spying on us?"
"Already told you, why look at paintings when you can talk to them in the flesh. Just my luck you bring up Flight Academy..."
"I'd rather not bring it up. Again." Soarin said.
"You wanted to apologise." Rainbow dash countered. Her magenta eyes wobbled slightly, the only betraying factor of her otherwise rock-hard exterior. “I’d appreciate it if you did.”
Soarin sighed deeply. "I'm sorry for turning you down so harshly. I was an idiot and I shouldn't have taken joy in your suffering."
She nodded once. "Apology accepted." Soarin continued to stare at her. "What?" She asked.
"I think maybe you should apologise as well."
Rainbow stared at him impassively. "I have nothing to apologise for."
"Kicking me in the face was a bit of an overreaction I think."
"Fair point, I apologise for kicking you in the face."
"And for not being open with your feelings and leaving me bleeding in the girls shower?"
Rainbow snorted in derision. "The first one is a fact of life and you deserved the second you big sissy."
Soarin's objection was cut off by Surprise returning with their drinks.
"Thank you." They said in unison. Soarin fumbled with his glass awkwardly before taking an appreciative sip.
"Soarin, there is something I should tell you." Rainbow said. "I have a child, he's yours."
"WHAT?!" Soarin spluttered, covering both mares in a thin layer of scotch.
Rainbow blinked twice. "That was a horrible joke that backfired in the most amusing way possible."
"Any other life changing announcements?" Soarin coughed. "I've got more scotch, just in case."
"You told me you didn't sleep with her." Surprise said, outraged.
"I haven't!" Soarin objected.
"Then why'd you even believe her?"
"Because he's a gullible fool." Rainbow said, turning to Surprise with a smirk "Hey, I want to steal Soarin for awhile, you don't mind do you, Surprise?"
She shook her head, winking outrageously at Soarin.
"Good. Soarin, you're coming with me."
“Do I have a say in the matter?” Soarin asked, following her regardless.
“Well I’m not going to drag you along if that’s what you’re asking.”
"Where are we going?" He asked as she trotted outside and a wave of warm air assaulted him.
"You'll see."
‘You’ll see’ ended up being Lower Cloudsdale of all things. More specifically, their old flight academy Soarin realised with surprise. They circled high above the academy once before Rainbow dash directed him towards the playing fields.
“Should we be here?” Soarin asked nervously, eyes open for a security guard.
“Soarin, it’s nearly midnight. I don’t think anypony is going to be out here at this time of night. Don’t you worry your little head about it.”
“Whatever. What’d you drag me all the way out here for then?”
“Thought we should come back to where it all started.” She said, prancing around the end of the field with a look of nostalgia, “Remember all those days we spent hurtling down the track?”
“I remember being a fair way behind you most of the time.”
"Enjoying the view no doubt." Rainbow sneered.
"Naturally. Now come on, what are we really here for?" Soarin demanded.
“My favourite race was the 500 hundred metre dash." Rainbow Dash said. "If you recall, I was rather good at it."
Soarin nodded, wondering what she had planned.
"I'm still very good at it. Still undefeated. 6082 to nil."
"You want to race, don't you?" Soarin asked, picking up on her train of thought.
Rainbow Dash nodded. "For old times' sake. Maybe you’d like to sweeten the deal a little though. How about a little bet?"
"What sort of wagers are we talking about?"
"If you win... which won't happen by the way, I'll go a date with you." She said teasingly "Just to satisfy your 'stupid' academy crush."
"What about after the date?" Soarin asked, mouth suddenly dry with excitement.
"We'll see." She said simply.
"And what about if I lose?"
"Well... I cover you in a bottle of maple syrup and then my pet turtle licks it off. You then have to go a date with me."
"That's disgusting." Soarin complained.
"That's my first and final offer."
"Fine, whatever. Deal." Soarin grumbled, shaking her hoof to seal the deal.
"Take your spot and get ready to be covered in maple syrup." Rainbow Dash laughed, shedding her dress and taking a ready position behind the start line.
"You look better without the dress." Soarin remarked without thinking, admiring her sleek and well toned form.
"That's what I told my dressmaker." She said. "Now are you just going to stand there and gawk at me all night or are we going to settle this?"
"Right." Soarin mumbled, shaking his head to clear his vision. There'd be time to look later... after he'd beaten her preferably. He took up position next to her and tensed his body for takeoff.
"Ready?" She asked.
"I was born ready."
Rainbow Dash made an amused sound in deep in her chest and fanned her wings out, the tips lightly brushing against Soarin's. A shiver that had nothing to do with the warm night air passed down his spine.
"Set."
Soarin exhaled slowly and leant backwards in anticipation. The night seemed to hold its breath in anticipation and the only sound he could discern was the faint creaking of his bones and the pounding of his heart against his chest. An eternity seemed to pass, the stars wheeled overhead and a new galaxy was born in the depths of space. While no more than a few seconds had passed it seemed like an entire lifetime to Soarin.
"Go!"
The world snapped back into focus. Everything bar the finish line became insignificant. Time suddenly raced to catch up, the stars froze in the sky and the new galaxy faded to the obscurities of Soarin's mind. Rainbow dash had an early lead, something Soarin expected thanks to her lighter body and the advantage of counting down. They shot along the track like lightning bolts, two blue streaks barely distinguishable as ponies. Slowly, Soarin started pulling ahead, his stronger wings and years of intense physical training paying off. He drew level with her and dared a quick, cheeky grin in her direction. He was rewarded by a brief look of shock and surprise before he rocketed ahead. The last hundred metres vanished in the blink of an eye and as the finish line flashed under him he let out a whoop in excitement. He did a large, lazy loop in the sky to bleed off speed before flaring his wings and landing lightly next to the still flapping flags that marked the finish line. Barely a second later Rainbow Dash landed next to him, a defeated look on her face.
"I won, how about that huh?" Soarin said happily, a goofy smile working its way onto his features.
"Guess I have to go on a date with you now, don't I? Such a pity, Tank really likes maple syrup." Rainbow said disappointedly. She eyed him as if imagining him drenched head to hoof in the sweet, sticky liquid.
"So about this date then, how about we ditch the art exhibit and hit the town? I know this great little late night burrito bar in the lower city."
Rainbow tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Alright. You need a shower before you go anywhere though, you smell like an Ursa's hindquarters."
"I don't think you smell much better." Soarin remarked, screwing his nose up. Joking aside, Rainbow Dash was right. The balmy night coupled with the strenuous race had left both ponies covered in a pungent odour and a thin sheen of sweat.
"Showers are over there, hop to it.”
"You know, I used to go here... I think I know where the showers are." Soarin deadpanned. "Do you really think they'll be open at this time of night though?"
Rainbow laughed. "No feeble lock can stop me."
"Alright then." Soarin said with a shrug. "You're taking the whole losing thing quite well." He remarked, letting her fall in step with him.
"You're a Wonderbolt you featherbrain. If you hadn't beat me I'd be wondering what you really do around the office." Rainbow smirked.
"You knew you'd lose?" Soarin asked with surprise.
"I suspected I would." Rainbow Dash admitted. "And now that I did... you've ruined my winning streak you dick!" She growled playfully, kicking Soarin a few times for good measure. They reached the shower block and true to her word, Rainbow broke the lock open effortlessly.
"Useful, how'd you do that?" Soarin asked, trotting in behind her.
"A good magician never reveals how her art is done." She said, standing under a nozzle and letting a cone of cold water spray over her. She closed her eyes and hummed happily, not noticing that Soarin was staring at her dumbly.
"Problem?" she asked, eventually realising that Soarin hadn't started his own shower.
Soarin looked around the shower room slowly. "Remember last time we were here?"
"How could I forget?" She asked, a trace of bitterness in her voice.
Soarin smiled thinly and took the shower next to Rainbow Dash and sighed with relief as the cold spray of water washed over him. His wings unfurled slowly and rubbed against the rough tiled floor. He swayed slowly from side to side, humming a tune he couldn't remember the name of.
"Soarin, do you really still like me?" Rainbow dash asked abruptly.
Soarin stopped humming and stared at her, slightly surprised by her bluntness. After a moments hesitation he nodded his head. "Yes. Yes I do."
She took a step closer. "Good, I would've felt really stupid for kissing you if you didn't."
"Wha-." Soarin managed before she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. For the second time in the dank shower room Soarin's mind went into overdrive. Recovering from his shock he kissed her back, his excitement visible in his wings which immediately rose off the floor.
"You even think about sticking anything in me and I'll chop it off." Rainbow Dash warned, breaking the contact tentatively. Soarin looked slightly crestfallen and shuffled his hooves awkwardly.
"That was much better than the last time." Soarin said, unsure of what to say.
"Yes, I'd say not hitting you in face and condemning you to rot is a marked improvement." Rainbow Dash said, shooting a spurt of water at his face. "Now how about that burrito?"
Author's Note
Whatever you do, don't click the source. Seriously.
I also really hope someone gets that awful joke at the beginning...
