A Week In The Life

by Comet Burst

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Fluttershy, Main 6, Cheerilee, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 8523

When a certain timid yellow pegasus gets a date with one of the most available mares in Ponyville, what follows is a story of intrigue, suspense and general shenannigans.

Butterscotch, the luckiest and most unlucky pony at the same time. He's a hit with the mares, but only because they feel sorry for him. Stallions hate him for his successes with the mares, but secretly pester him day and night about how he charms them. What's a poor stallion like Butterscotch going to do, especially when he gets something all the other stallions want?

R63 Fluttershy, Big Mac and Cheerilee. Love triangles ftw!

Published 2013-08-06 02:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-08 04:43:24 UTC

Monday

The cry of the rooster early in the morning was usually considered a nice wake-up call. The noise will ring out across a farm, signaling the beginning of a new day. In Butterscotch's cottage, however, the noise came from several different rooms and was subsequently followed by other animal cries. For the butter yellow pegasus, however, he yawned loudly and sat upright on his bed, as if this was normal for him. In quick succession, a small group of squirrels, three songbirds and a bear trudged by his door, each more cranky than the last. Any other pony would assume one of two things: either their home had been broken into or they had thrown one wild party last night. For Butterscotch, however, he just rubbed his eyes and got out of bed.

A typical morning for him consisted of a set schedule: get up, make his bed before the dogs ran in, get to the bathroom to shower while avoiding the herd of bunnies from the next room, argue with the bear about who needs the shower first, wait for the bear to finish by feeding the other animals, remove hairballs from drain, take shower, dry off while listening to the chipmunks argue with the field mice about the acorns. After all of that happened, Butterscotch felt his day was ready to begin, and by begin, I mean having his best friend Rainbow Blitz come in through the window, scaring the squirrels into jumping onto him. After a short rodeo for the squirrels, Butterscotch eventually got them to get off of his friend, who yelled some colorful words after them.

"Rainbow," the yellow doormat pleaded, "Please stop yelling. You'll upset Barry again."

"And good riddance, you dumb, little furballs!" the cyan pegasus yelled at the group of fluffy tails scampering away. His lightning bolt shaped eyebrows were furled above his blazing magenta eyes, making his gaze intimidating. Blitz's prismatic mane spiked up at random intervals, accentuated by his stringy tail and lightning bolt cutie mark. He shook a hoof after the group, but stopped as soon as they rounded the corner of the den.

Turning to Butterscotch, Blitz pulled his nose back in disgust and said, "Jeez, Scotch, how can you keep those little pests?"

"They're not so bad, Blitz," the yellow pegasus mumbled back, "If you'd stop yelling so much..."

"What was that?!" Blitz yelled back, his back to Butterscotch as he trotted into the kitchen.

Butterscotch trotted after his friend, who found him with his head buried inside his fridge.

"I said, you really should be nicer..." he mumbled again.

"What?!" Blitz hollered, not removing his head from the interior of his friend's refrigerator. The sound of food being chewed followed quickly.

"Blitz, could you please stop..."

"Can't hear ya!" the cyan pegasus shouted, pulling his head back. His cheeks were bigger than his eyes as he chewed slowly, flecks of red and brown dotting around his lips at random intervals.

"Thss rlly gud," he mouthed between bites.

Butterscotch sighed heavily and lowered his head, defeated.

"Was that the plate with the note asking you to not eat it?" he asked timidly. Looking up, he saw Blitz picking his teeth with the aforementioned note. The pony gave him a blank stare before uttering a single syllable.

"Uh..." he stated lamely.

Two hours (and thirty two bits worth of food) later, Blitz flapped his wings as he flew around in the sky, practicing his aerial maneuvers in his quest to join the Wonderbolts. He performed barrel-roll after barrel-roll, spinning so fast he became a rainbow-colored blur. Sitting on the hill below him was Butterscotch, watching the performance with mild interest. Next to him was a very familiar orange earth pony sporting a weather-beaten brown hat.

"What the hay is he doin' now?" he asked, clearly unimpressed. His green eyes watched lazily as Blitz switched to jack-knifes without losing a second.

"Practicing," Butterscotch stated plainly.

"Eeyup," came another voice, causing both ponies to turn their heads with a start.

Standing next to the stallions was a bright red earth pony mare with a dark orange mane and tail. Her own accessory, a faded yoke, hung around her neck as she slowly chewed on a stalk of hay. Butterscotch's face immediately turned bright red as he regarded the mare, turning away as quickly as he could.

"How long ya been there, Gala?" AJ asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

The mare didn't answer, but just stood there as still as the trees surrounding them. Silence pervaded the hilltop once again as AJ looked back up to Blitz's performance along with Gala. Butterscotch, however, sat on his rump and stared at the ground, trying to rally what little courage he had to say something to the red mare next to him. He was always timid around mares, but Gala was something else. Ever since he had moved to Ponyville years ago, he had dealt with a crush on Gala since he first saw her. She was tall, pretty and nice to him, fueling his crush for years.

"H-hey Gala," he mumbled to her, still blushing.

He was sure he hadn't said it loud enough for her to hear, but to his amazement, the red mare turned to look at him and smiled.

"Hi there, Buttah-scotch," she replied.

Butterscotch was sure he was going to melt under her gaze, so he tentatively shook his head, trying to hide his eyes from the mare. He was only partially successful, but he could see her chuckle at him. His cheeks burned even more as he shied away again, but he wanted to say something else to her. As he tried to rally his courage again, Blitz finished performing his training routine and landed with a solid thump on his hooves. The sound was enough to cause Butterscotch to shriek in surprise and he darted away behind the nearest large object, which ironically was Gala.

"Hey there, Gala," Blitz flirted, his voice utterly full of himself, "Enjoy watching the show?"

Butterscotch peeked around behind Gala to see Blitz flash his well rehearsed smile and winked at the mass of red in front of him, causing AJ to yell at him. Ignoring his actions, Gala spun her head around and smiled gently to Butterscotch as he backed away, pushing himself back while he sat on his rump. She turned around and followed him as the yellow pegasus eventually stopped against a tree, blushing furiously as the red mare approached him. His mind raced with things to say, but all he managed to do was squeak.

"Ya okay over there?" Gala asked, still smiling sincerely at him.

*Squeak!* came Butterscotch again. He tried to look at the mare before him and locked eyes with her, still blushing.

Gala laughed at him, her musical laugh stopping the ambient noise of the two ponies yelling behind her. She put a hoof to her mouth and smiled again at him before speaking.

"Take care then, Buttah-scotch," she said before walking off into the trees, leaving a madly blushing pegasus to face his friends.

AJ sighed and shook head as Blitz crossed his forehooves and pouted, now hovering in the air.

"How the hay does he get Gala to pay attention to him and I don't?" Blitz grumbled.

"Maybe if ya stopped bein' such an air-headed showoff fer once," AJ started, turning a scowl to the pegasus, "She may act-ally want ta talk to ya."

Blitz harumphed at that, but ignored it.

"Must be some secret cologne he uses," he muttered to himself, "Or some kind of special pegasus magic I don't know about."

"Yeah, it's called Kindness, Blitz," AJ replied unhappily, "He is tha bearer of that element."

"So?!" Blitz shouted, rounding on AJ, "I'm the Element of Loyalty! That should mean something to the mares of this town!"

"Like what?" AJ goaded.

"Well, for starters I won't cheat on them!"

"Ah'm the Element of Honesty," AJ replied, "What is that supposed ta mean to a mare?"

"You'll tell them if they look fat," Blitz spoke as he grinned widely, "What mare wouldn't want that?"

"Why you little!" AJ shouted as he leaped up and tackled Blitz out of the air. Butterscotch, who had said nothing during that whole banter, gave another defeated sigh as the two ponies rolled around on the hill, both shouting and kicking at each other.

The yellow pegasus stood up, his legs wobbly after being so close to Gala. He was a weak willed pony and he knew it, but after listening to his friends' conversation, he wondered if it was indeed his element that made him and mares mesh when his friends, and most other stallions in Ponyville, couldn't.

"Fine!" came a shout from Blitz, "I'll show you you're wrong!"

"This is highly unorthodox, you guys," a purple unicorn stallion said to three pastel colored ponies. His sparkling purple eyes darted from one to another as his horn glowed with magic, holding aloft an ornate blue and gold box.

"Oh come on, egghead!" the familiar voice of Rainbow Blitz rang out, "It's not going to hurt us!"

"I don't know what will happen, though!" the unicorn replied worriedly.

"Dusk, wha's the worst that can happen?" the orange pony, AJ, asked.

"I just said I don't know!" Dusk Shine answered, "Any number of things could happen! You could have your personality altered, or even your body! Some rip in space and time could occur, changing us into something outrageous, like parasprites or mares! Or we could even--!"

"Dusk, ya been reading those fake magicky books again, haven't ya?" AJ asked with an unimpressed tone.

"Maybe, but so what if I have?!" Dusk replied, "Those sci-fi books are rooted in some truth!"

"Dusk!" Blitz shouted, "It's not gonna hurt us to wear one of the Elements for a day!"

"But it's not your Element!" Dusk pleaded, "You are Loyalty, not Kindness! I don't know what would happen if you wore the wrong one for even a second!"

"Oh, for the love of, just give me the bucking Element!" Blitz angrily said as he dove at Dusk Shine. The two wound up rolling around on the floor, Blitz with his hooves wrapped around the box while Dusk's magic still held it. They shouted and kicked, resembling the fight between Blitz and AJ earlier. Butterscotch just stood there silently, wishing he was somewhere else.

Eventually, Blitz managed to wrestle the box away from Dusk and hastily pulled out a golden leg band with a large, pink butterfly shaped gem embedded in it.

"Blitz, I'm serious!" Dusk shouted, a little bit of fear lacing his voice, "Don't!"

He didn't manage to finish before Blitz slipped the band around his forehoof. It stopped at his ankle, just above his hoof and sat there. The ponies each waited for something to happen, but the band remained still.

"Well, this is dumb!" Blitz shouted, "It's not doing anythi--!"

A sudden clap of thunder shook the library the ponies sat in. A large ball of white light enveloped Blitz and the Element of Kindness before a blur of cyan shot upwards at insane speed, busting through the roof and flying away. Butterscotch dove for cover behind a table as the light faded and peeked out, shivering like it was the middle of winter. Dusk coughed heavily as he picked himself up from the floor and looked around.

"Blitz?! AJ?! Butterscotch?!" he asked frantically.

"Ah'm over here," came a weak voice from underneath a pile of books. An orange hoof poked its way out of the pile and waved to the purple unicorn as Dusk looked around.

"P-P-Present!" came the terrified voice of Butterscotch.

"Blitz? Blitz?! Blitz!" Dusk shouted in fear. His eyes looked up to the hole in the roof and he screamed like a filly before darting out the door. AJ pulled himself out of the pile of books and took off after him with Butterscotch following him after shutting the door gently.

It took the three stallions the better part of half an hour, but eventually they found their prismatic friend dizzy in a tree.

"Blitz!" Dusk shouted for the eleventh hundred time, "Are you okay?!"

"Can ya'll hear us?!" AJ called up to him.

"Please don't be a mare!" Butterscotch weakly said.

The cyan stallion slowly shook his head and looked down at his friends.

"That... was... AWESOME!" he shouted.

Author's Note

Here you go! Moar Butterscotch!

Blarg.

Tuesday

Physical exertion was a trait many stallions prided themselves on. Being able to lift heavy weights, pull or push large objects or endure long periods of time was highly valued in Equestrian society. For Butterscotch, however, he was capable of none of these. His largest amount of weight lifting per day was heaving the large sack of pet food up in the air so a feeding frenzy didn't break out. The last one to happen resulted in the Great Furry Incident of three years ago when the ferrets, field mice and hamsters overran a quarter of Ponyville searching for food. The flower ponies still shuddered about it whenever they saw one of those three animals.

After the explosion yesterday, Butterscotch and his friends had spent most of the day today repairing Dusk's roof. It was clearly obvious which ones were the stronger of the group as Blitz lifted huge piles of wood up to the hole while AJ tugged a wagon chocked full of spare planks from the last Apple barn build two weeks ago. Dusk and Elusive were busy placing the planks and nailing them in with their magic, swiftly closing the hole. Butterscotch, however, stood near the next room as three young colts played around with some small planks and nails.

"Look what I built!" a small white unicorn named Silver Bells shouted. Next to him sat a crudely built cluster of wood that looked nothing like anything recognizable to Butterscotch.

"What's that supposed to be?" the orange pegasus, Skater Roo asked, tilting his head.

"An' where didja get glue?" Applebutter, AJ's younger yellow brother, questioned with a concerned look.

"It's not glue," Silver Bells said with a triumphant smile, "It's spit!"

Several noises of disgust rang out around Butterscotch as he gave them a small smile. The colts were pretty amusing, reminding him of his friends when they were younger. Turning back around, he watched as Blitz and AJ panted heavily while Elusive used plaster to cover the wood. Dusk smiled happily to his friends when a voice rang out.

"Lunch is served!" Bubble Berry shouted, craning his neck from the kitchen doorway.

Almost at once, all three colts darted out of the room, trailing behind Blitz and AJ. They all shouted happily as they piled into the cramped room, followed by a pillow.

"Quiet! Now!" came a shout from upstairs.

"Sorry Spines!" Dusk called up to her before trotting into the kitchen, Elusive and Butterscotch in tow. Somehow, all eight of them managed to fit around the table and looked at each other confused. They were here to eat, but the table was blank.

"Where's the food?" Skater Roo asked impatiently. A quick stern look from both Blitz and AJ quieted him, but not before a pink stallion trotted up to the table.

"Wait for it," he said with a grin wider than his face.

All the stallions sat in dead silence, bracing themselves for anything to happen. They each had learned long ago that you didn't move when Bubble told you to wait for something. Nervously, they glanced at each other and Dusk bit his lower lip.

"Bubble, what are we--" he began.

Before he finished speaking, the oven gave a soft 'ding!' and all Tartarus broke loose. The door to the oven burst open, as if dynamite exploded behind it, and objects flew out at breakneck speeds. The ponies nearest to the oven, Elusive and Silver Bells, screamed loud enough to make you wonder if they were stallions as they ducked to avoid the tasty projectiles. Around the table, soft, gooey object smacked each pony in the face, somehow leaving a perfectly drawn frosting cutie mark at the front.

Complete anarchy ensued as the ponies with pastries on their faces fell over, their cries muffled by the sweets. All together, the ponies ran for the door, screaming like mares on a little girl's show. The oven refused to stop firing as more and more projectiles shot to them, all cakes. They splattered on the walls, the table, the other appliances, everywhere. Outside the kitchen, the ponies frantically began to push furniture towards the door.

"Bubble! What the living buck were you thinking?!" Blitz shouted as he and Dusk shoved a bookcase near the door.

"What tha hay did ya do ta that oven?!" AJ yelled, narrowly avoiding an apple pie that splattered on the wall next to his head.

From behind the overturned table, Bubble Berry's top half poked up, the three colts clutched tightly in his forehooves.

"It was supposed to shoot confetti and a single cake for a 'Your Home is Fixed' party!" he shouted, pausing to open his mouth and have a cake fly into it. Swiftly, he chewed the cake and ducked as three smaller pastries smashed into the table, each bearing the words 'Congratulations on your Cutie Marks!'

Bubble, why on Equestria would you--" Elusive began before tragedy struck. The pristine face of the town's resident fashion designer flew to the right as a cake impacted with him. The stallion wailed loudly, as if injured, and fell to the ground dramatically, cake obscuring half of his face.

"What the buck are you all doing down there?!" came a voice. Above them, a small purple and green dragon poked her head out from the loft above the kitchen. Once she saw Elusive on the ground, she gave a very uncharacteristic scream and bolted down the stairway, avoiding two pies in the process.

"Spines! Get back upstairs! It's too dangerous!" Dusk shouted to her, but the dragon didn't listen as she braved the pastry shooting gallery to reach Elusive. When she got there, Spines wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged, weakly pulling him behind another bookcase.

"Elusive, Elusive, can you hear me?!" she yelled in his face.

Weakly, Elusive's remaining visible eyes fluttered open gently as he looked for his savior. Once he saw her, a small smile broke out on his face.

"Dearest Spines," he weakly mumbled to her, raising a hoof to her cheek, "I'm so glad I got to see you. One... Last.. Time..."

The stallion then proceeded to pass out dramatically, causing Spines to let out a cry of anguish.

"What the hay are they doing over there?!" Blitz shouted, still trying to push the bookcase to the door. AJ had come over to help him now, but the sheer amount of cakes that had splattered in front of the case had stopped any forward progress.

"Tha better question is 'Where did Bubble get all these pies an' cakes?'!" AJ shouted over to Blitz.

"No!" Dusk yelled, "Where's Butterscotch?!"

"I agree, that's a good one!" came Bubble's voice from behind the table.

Instead of following the other stallions into the room adjacent to get assaulted with cakes, Butterscotch had somehow slipped through the kitchen window. He stood outside the front door, trying to get in, but the frosting of the cakes had gummed up the latch, effectively sealing the weak pegasus out. Now, the poor stallion was rushing back to his cottage in hoped that Barry the Bear would help him.

However, life took an interesting turn as he passed Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hey, Buttah-scotch," came the rustic, yet musical voice of Red Gala, "Where ya off to in sucha hurry?"

Butterscotch froze in his tracks and spun to face the red mare. Tears were starting to stream down his cheeks as he relayed the events at Dusk's home to her. Gala's face betrayed no emotion until she heard AJ and Applebutter were trapped.

"Yer sayin' all the fellas are trapped and bein' buried alive by cakes?" she asked with a bit of concern. It was only then did Butterscotch realize how silly his story sounded.

"Yes!" he wailed to the mare.

Without a second to spare, Gala tore off to the town as Butterscotch blinked and followed after her. The run was only a short distance, but Butterscotch was out of breath by the time he got there, wondering why he didn't fly to the library. Inside, more shouts of anguish and terror rang out as Gala listened. Without warning, she spun around and gave the door a very powerful kick, smashing to open despite the layers of cake behind it.

bolting in there, Gala stopped to see Bubble Berry still clutching the colts behind a table as her brother and Blitz frantically tried to push a bookcase that wasn't going anywhere. As she turned to the doorway, a cake impacted into her chest, splattering all over her coat. Looking down unimpressed, Gala started to trot over to the kitchen, ignoring all the pastries along the way.

Butterscotch, the timid pony he was, somehow found some small reserve of courage to follow after her. He yelped, ducked and sidestepped as every pastry attacked him, but still managed to make his way to the kitchen doorway. As he peeked inside, he saw Gala approach the oven, splattered from head to hoof in cake and pie. Without so much as a pause, Gala reached out and pressed a button atop the oven. Almost immediately, the cakes stopped flying and peace ensued.

After a rather large cheer for Gala saving them, Dusk, Blitz and AJ rounded on Bubble and shouted at him for nearly killing them with cake. As they did, Gala trotted out of the kitchen past Butterscotch, who watched her with awe. As she approached the front door, the yellow pegasus found him following her, calling her name. Gala's ears perked up and she spun around to face Butterscotch, her front still covered in cake and frosting.

"Wha's tha mattah, Buttah-scotch?" she asked as if concerned.

The yellow pegasus skidded to a half in front of her, a look of determination on his face.

"Gala, what you did back there was really cool!" he almost shouted to her, forgoing his usual mumble. Around them, the colts and stallions paused what they were doing, paying rapt attention to the now assertive Butterscotch.

"Oh, it was no big deal," Gala replied with a small blush underneath the frosting.

"Yes, it was!" Scotch said with more confidence. Where he was getting this, he couldn't guess.

"Well, yer welcome," Gala said with a smile.

Silence ensued as Gala and Butterscotch stared at each other awkwardly before the stallion spoke up.

"Pleasegooutonadatewithme!"

"Wha?" Gala asked, confused.

"I said, 'Please go out on a date with me!'"

Silence ensued as Gala's face turned to one of shock, as well as everypony else in the room. The most timid, most shy pony had just asked one of the only available mares out on a date. Well, not really asked, but you get the idea.

It took a while for Gala to respond, mostly from the shock of him saying that to her, but eventually she smiled and said, "When ya wanna go?"

Wednesday

In a common stereotype, females are thought to gossip about everything. Once one of them hears a juicy secret, it doesn't stay a secret for long. Soon, every female knows of the latest scandal, insult or back-biting that goes on in a social group. They spread the rumor, adding on things as it goes until the truth is almost lost.

Ironically, the stereotype works both ways, as our dear Butterscotch found out.

The yellow pegasus happily hummed to himself as he trotted out to collect his mail. The day was bright and sunny, the breeze blew by softly and Butterscotch was in the throes of joy. With an insane act of courage that he couldn't explain, he had gotten himself a date with Red Gala. The date was scheduled for this Friday, a picnic on Butterscotch's lot after Gala had finished work and cleaned up. As he happily thought about the impending date, he failed to notice several sets of eyes watching him. The butter yellow pony finally opened his eyes to pull out a small stack of letters from his mailbox and turned around, reading who the letters were sent from before smacking straight into a wall of colors.

His letters flew everywhere as Butterscotch fell back on his rump, rubbing his face and whimpering in pain. Opening his eyes again, he saw the faces of several ponies staring down at him. At the fore was a very familiar cyan pegasus with a spectrum mane. His magenta eyes stared straight at Butterscotch's, as if trying to figure out what he was looking at.

"Hey, Butterscotch," he started in a friendly tone, offering a hoof to help him up.

"Blitz, what's going on here?" Butterscotch asked, taking the hoof and pulling himself up.

"Well, I came here to talk with you, but I don't know what they--" he motioned to the ponies behind him, "--are here for."

Butterscotch leaned out to look at the crowd, who had stealthily filled his lawn. In the group were some familiar faces, like those of Lyre, Berry Smash and Carrot Mop all of whom were staring at the yellow doormat with interest. Butterscotch gave them a nervous grin before speaking.

"Um, nice to see you all," he began.

A tense silence filled the air as the group stared at Butterscotch, whose ears slowly pressed against his head and his knees began to wobble.

"E-e-excuse me, b-but I need t-to get to my h--" he stammered out.

As if he had said the magical words, the group rushed up to him and began talking all at once to the yellow pegasus. Suddenly mobbed by ponies, Butterscotch yelped as a flood of questions came to him, all about Red Gala.

"How did you get her to say yes?!"

"Was it part of a bet?!"

"How many chickens did you bribe her with?!"

The poor yellow pony shrunk at the sheer volume of questions, slowly curling himself up as more piled on. His teal eyes darted around at the mass of ponies, each leaning closer to one another and the hole above him growing smaller. Butterscotch covered his head and whimpered, imagining this was how the victims in those science fiction novels Dusk loved so much felt when they were assimilated.

"H-help me!" Butterscotch cried out with tears starting to form around his eyes.

A strong hoof shot out of the crowd and wrapped itself around Butterscotch, causing him to yip in fear. The hoof pulled him upwards and, when Butterscotch opened his eyes, saw Rainbow Blitz holding him above his head as the ponies below jumped and shouted to him like a pack of wild animals.

"Hey, back off!" he shouted down to them, "Nopony is going to learn his secrets before I do!"

Pulling Butterscotch closer to him, the prismatic stallion bolted off towards Sweet Apple Acres. The timid pegasus squealed quite girlishly when Blitz lowered closer to the trees, causing him to grab onto Blitz in a most unflattering way.

"Scotch, what the hay are you doing?!" Blitz yelled over the roar of the wind.

Butterscotch was clinging to Rainbow Blitz's chest, hugging him a little too closely for comfort. It was when Butterscotch tried to get his rear legs wrapped around him did Blitz flip out.

"Butterscotch, get the buck off of me!" he shouted, completely forgetting he was flying.

"Slow down!" Butterscotch wailed back, trying to hold onto him more as the wind whipped around them, threatening to tear Butterscotch away.

"Dude, get off of me! This looks totally wrong!" Blitz responded, pulling in his hooves and shoving them into Butterscotch's head in a vain attempt to get him off.

"No! I don't wanna die!"

"For the love of Solaris, Scotch, let go of me!"

The two fought for a bit, Blitz trying to pry off the timid pegasus while Butterscotch clambered around, trying to hold onto him like a terrified cat. With the main flyer distracted, neither one of them noticed the bright red barn they were closing in on. It took until Blitz had busted through the sign to Sweet Apple Acres did Butterscotch see it.

"Eeep!" he shouted as he spread his own wings and let go of Blitz.

The cyan pegasus grunted as he began to right himself when a wall of red filled his vision. He didn't have anytime to react, save for uttering one complete word and the start of another.

"OH SH--!"

AJ stood at a tree, ready to kick the apples loose from the sagging boughs. His bandaged ankle was a little sore, the result of years of work and thousands of apple harvests. His hoof had just been lifted when...

Elusive stood at his drawing board, looking over schematics of several new types of suits he was going to make. This new style called Steampunk seemed rather interesting, a mix of modern mechanical know how and Celestian period fashion. He had been working on a centerpiece suit, one that recently lacked any color inspiration. Just at that moment...

Bubble Berry sat in his room, frustrated with his cake shooting oven. He had spent the day trying to figure out how the cake flinging matrix had failed when...

Dusk stared proudly at his freshly reorganized library. It had been a lot of work to fix what had happened over the last two days, particularly after Blitz's idiocy with the Elements of Harmony. Glad he was able to finish shelving the books, Dusk stood there and smiled proudly at the books when...

Equestria had never delved into the dark science of explosives. Ponies had never used gunpowder, nitroglycerin or even aluminum foil and ammonia. In a society built upon the pillars of friendship and harmony, such violent things were viewed as only useful for mining and various other tasks, ranging from food preparation to cleaning solutions. The closest anypony would ever get to a dangerous explosion was when a unicorn used magic.

Well, at least until the only pony to pull off a Sonic Rainblast collided with an inanimate object, like a barn.

In a totally inexplicable way, the moment of impact was absolutely silent for Butterscotch. The timid pegasus's eyes widened as a blast of light exploded out from the barn, temporarily blinding him as his forward momentum carried him closer. The harshness of the aforementioned light forced Butterscotch to cover his eyes when a wave of air hit him. The air felt solid, like a mattress was pushing against him. Caught totally off guard, Butterscotch let loose a terrible scream as he was flung far away from the explosion, spiraling up into the blue sky like some silly anime character.

The light was not only seen by Butterscotch. In the town of Ponyville, hundreds of ponies hissed and yelped at the bright flash of light all at the same time. It took their eyes mere seconds to adjust, allowing them to look at the bright flash in the distance. Silence quickly subdued the town as all eyes were focused on the flash, which was gaining a full spectrum of colors as well as a mushroom shape. Their awed faces continued to stare until their ears picked up on a low rumbling in the distance.

Many of them shouted in fear and started to run as a wall shaped cloud of dirt raced to them, following the rumbling. At the fore of the wall were two ponies, an orange stallion wearing a brown stetson and a red mare, each running as if their lives depended on it. It was a miracle they had managed to escape from the orchards before the cloud came ripping through the trees, peeling away the apples from the branches. Their pace was almost unbelievable as they weaved around various obstacles in their path. AJ nimbly leaped over a fence and kept running while Red Gala ran through it, breaking a large section without slowing down. The look of pure, unadulterated fear was etched on their faces as the cloud bore down on them.

"Run, Gala!" AJ shouted to his sister, "Run like tha Nightmare himself is after ya!"

"Eeyup!" came her reply, much louder and more mare-ish than AJ had ever heard.

The siblings ran through town as the dirt cloud swept over it, delivering an incredibly strong blast of wind to the houses. Many of them creaked and moaned as the wind tried to shove them over with the cries of terrified ponies echoing inside of them. AJ weaved around many of the buildings, trying to find a place to hide when he noticed the large oak tree library with its door wide open and a purple unicorn standing in the doorway, his eyes huge and his pupils pinpricks. Redirecting his course, AJ ran as fast as he could to Dusk, hoping to beat the wall of dirt to there.

"Get inside!" he shouted to Dusk, "Get in tha library now!"

Dusk blinked twice, his eyes frozen as he stared at the wall of dirt and air approaching.

"Dusk, move it!" AJ shouted again to him as he bore down on the doorway.

Time seemed to slow for AJ as he charged to Dusk. When he was less than ten feet from the door, his tail whipped forwards as the wall caught up to him. Straining his already overworked muscles, AJ kept running as the wall began to overtake his flank before jumping up and tackling Dusk, who seemed to just notice him. The two flew into the library as the wall collided with the oak tree, causing it to groan loudly and lurch a bit. Around the two ponies, books flew from the shelves as they hung in the air, much like some cheesy action stunt. The dirt quickly wrapped around them as they fell to the floor, concealing them.

Red Gala kept running, even after losing her brother in the town. She ran like she never had before, busting through market stalls and wagons, unwilling to stop. She had seen some terrible things in her life; her parents funeral, the cost of repairing the family barn, the Great Furry Incident, Darkhorse Knight's return and even Pappy Smith taking a bath without closing the door, but the wall of dirt following her was quickly rising through the list. It terrified her in a way most things never could, like some horrible dream had come to life.

As she ran, she blew through the marketplace with ease, followed by the town square and then the park. It was there, in the very park, that Gala heard a very familiar voice.

"Everypony, into the schoolhouse now!" came the concerned voice of a Mr. Cherry Lee.

Ahead of her, Gala could see the cranberry stallion herding a small group of colts and some fillies towards the schoolhouse in the distance. The group reached the school pretty quickly and Cherry Lee ordered them inside, counting heads along the way. Once the last colt was in, he gave a quick look out at the wall approaching and locked eyes with a familiar mare.

"Red Gala?!" he shouted to her.

Gala didn't have time to respond as she bolted towards him, barely keeping ahead of the wall. A look of terror was on her face, causing Cherry Lee to be unable to look away.

"Over here!" he shouted to her, waving his forehooves.

Little did he know that Gala was already on her way towards him. The red mare felt the wall of air start to push her forward as she got to the steps of the schoolhouse, lifting her rump into the air as Cherry Lee reached out for her. He managed to grab one of her forehooves as the wall swept over them, causing the schoolhouse to creak and the colts inside to scream like fillies. Cherry Lee held onto Gala as he felt himself get pulled out the door with her, but managed to wrap his tail around the post inside used for hanging coats on a rainy day, stopping his and Gala's movements. Pulling her closer to him, Cherry Lee gave a powerful pull with his tail and both he and Red Gala flew inside the door.

About five minutes passed as the wall of dirt and air disappeared from the town of Ponyville. Tentatively, the residents poked their heads out of their shelters, whether it be houses, stores or barrels. Miraculously, none of the houses were pushed over, destroyed or even had a window pane broken, unless a rock or two hit them. Slowly, everypony came outside and asked about one another before looking at the rainbow colored puff of clouds rising into the air in the distance.

At the Golden Oaks Library, Dusk rubbed his head as he pulled himself out from under some books. Next to him, an orange hoof weakly wiggled from underneath a carpet of white pages. As Dusk looked around, he noticed every single shelf was empty, their contents spewed all over the floor again.

Over at the schoolhouse, Cherry Lee was busy trying to explain to his students he wasn't a hero and the kiss he had gotten from Gala was merely a thank you in response to him saving her. He blushed almost as red as Gala's coat while she nervously peeked through the door, hoping the town was still there.

Butterscotch, after flailing through the air for five minutes, crashed into a pond near his cottage, completely unharmed.

Over at ground zero, Rainbow Blitz opened his eyes weakly. He was covered in wood planks and felt like he had just ran into solid rock. Above him, a mushroom shaped cloud of rainbow colors rose up from the ground.

"-it," he finished.

Thursday

Life isn't fair. Plain and simple. Bad things always strike when you're unprepared, whether what you are doing involves relaxing, working, minding your own business or even saving a friend from a horde of stallions while simultaneously preparing to pry him for information as well.

At least, Rainbow Blitz thought so.

It had been less than twenty four hours since he had blown up AJ's barn and sent the town into a mad panic, all because of Butterscotch hugging him the wrong way. The townsponies and especially AJ were less than lenient to the prismatic pony, ignoring where the clear blame lay and dumping all their frustration on him. I mean, heck, they didn't even bother looking for the pony responsible for yesterday's RainNuke, they just all used Rainbow Blitz as a scapegoat and forced two months of community service onto him, not to mention that he also had to help rebuild AJ's barn without any compensation.

AJ had told him he was lucky he was getting any help at all.

"Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! We're so glad you could attend! Come inside, come inside!"

"No, no, a thousand times no!"

"Aww, come on!"

"We are NOT singing that at the talent show!"

"But it's a really good song!"

"It's only good to you because you made it up, you condenselosophogus!"

"That's not even a real word!"

"How would you know?!"

Butterscotch sighed heavily as he sat under an apple tree on a hill overlooking the construction site. Not being muscular or having any particularly useful skill was often a blessing, but it was also a curse. As the Element of Kindness, he did feel partially responsible for the fiasco yesterday, but was not taken seriously by anypony despite his protests. So instead of just walking away, he nearly begged to help in some way.

AJ was reluctant to allow Butterscotch to help on the construction of the new barn, so he instead asked him to watch over the three colts while the other ponies were busy. Applebutter, Silver Bells and Skater Roo had a talent show coming up and had formed themselves into a club called the Coolie Mark Commodores, a clandestine group of colts without a special talent bent on finding one come Eris or high water, or let Solaris's royal hindquarters squish them into the sun.

That was their motto. No joke.

As of now, Silver Bells was arguing with Skater Roo about the song they should sing. Several had been submitted, but almost all had been rejected.

"For those about to rock!" Silver Bells shouted at the top of his lungs.

"NO!" Applebutter and Skater Roo shouted back.

"There's a filly whose sure, all that glitters is gold and she's buying a stairway to--" Skater Roo started.

"Seriously?! Nopony wants to listen to that!" Silver Bells shouted.

"Slowly stroke me!" Applebutter shouted while playing the piano.

"I'd prefer not to go to jail after the talent show..." Skater Roo mumbled.

"There's a little black spot on the sun today!" Silver Bells sang in the wrong octave, causing Applebutter to hurl.

"We need to pick a song!" Applebutter shouted over them, causing Butterscotch to roll his eyes.

It was a long and arduous road to dealing with colts. Butterscotch was actually pretty happy he didn't have one of his own. It wasn't that he didn't want one eventually, but he was mostly sure that, if he did, the colt might be mistaken as a filly like he was.

Some less than fond memories popped into his head as the butter colored pegasus thought. He remembered some pretty dumb ponies, which ironically were fillies, teasing him about how dainty and weak he was. It was thanks to Rainbow Blitz that they stopped since he was pretty intimidating as a colt. After performing his first Sonic Rainblast, Blitz had become the most hunky colt at the school with his blinding speed and awesome looking coolie mark while Butterscotch was a little more than embarrassed that his were three pink butterflies.

Still, Blitz instantly befriended and stuck up for him against the various bullies over the years, earning Butterscotch's friendship and trust when many ponies couldn't understand why. As typical of any friends, though, their friendship tended to be strained at points, but the two never seemed to have a permanent falling out.

As Butterscotch thought about it, he closed his eyes, smiled and started to nod his head happily, completely unaware of the three colts in the room. They each stared at him, wide eyed and dumbstruck. Applebutter eventually looked back at the piano and started to mumble.

"I was just kidding when I sang that..." he mouthed, staring at the keys.

That evening was probably one of the most interesting that Ponyville had ever experienced.

At the community theater, a cranberry colored stallion stood behind the drawn red curtain, closely examining a clipboard. Behind him stood three colts, each garbed in dark cloaks. They each fidgeted nervously, glancing back and forth, hoping that nopony was there to ruin the surprise. They had little time to rehearse their act, but they felt it was good enough to earn first place in the talent competition.

Their teacher, however, didn't even bother to wonder why his students were dressed as cultists. He was instead focused on how the schedule was working. The show was going to be an hour long and six colts and fillies had entered, meaning they had about ten minutes each to perform. Several of them, including the illustriously spoiled Diamond Crown, would try to hog the spotlight as much as they could, so he had to be prepared with the trapdoor.

On the other side of the curtain, a crowd of ponies had gathered to watch the young ones. Their various shapes, sizes and colors made it a dizzying sight to anyone who could not handle rapid flashes of colors, like Butterscotch. Our favorite yellow pegasus stood near the back of the seating area, dangerously close to a trash can. His cheeks were green as he repressed his dinner, trying his best to stare at the curtain.

That's when his luck got the best of him again.

"Howdy there, Scotch!" came a familiar southern twang.

The pegasus turned to the entrance to see his good friend and fellow Element of Harmony, AJ, grinning at him, along with his bright red sister.

"What'cha doin' all the way up here?" AJ asked with a smile, "Not gunna be color sick again, are ya?"

Butterscotch turned away and started to blush past his green cheeks when a loud 'thwack!' echoed into the room, followed by a whine of pain. He looked back to see AJ rubbing the back of his head while Red Gala glared daggers into him.

"What was that for?" AJ whined, "I was just bein' honest!"

Another 'thwack!' echoed around the room as AJ whined again.

"There's a difference 'tween bein' honest and a jerk, AJ," Red Gala growled to him, "Tha's somethin' you and Blitz need ta learn."

AJ grumbled under his breath at her, but kept his silence. Gala continued to glare at him before Butterscotch gave an uncharacteristic groan before leaning over the trash can. The mare's face instantly softened as she extended a hoof to him.

"Ya okay, Buttah-Scotch?" she asked worriedly.

The timid pegasus squeaked as he vigorously shook his head. His silly pink mane flopped about before he turned around and sat on his haunches, trying to steady his spinning head.

"Carrots," he moaned pathetically, "Why is it always carrots?"

As he sat there, a pile of pathetic willpower, he felt a soft hoof touch his cheek. Butterscotch instantly looked up to see Red Gala's smile less than twelve inches from his face.

What happened after that has been omitted at Butterscotch's request... but I can tell you that his wings never stood up like that before.

After the most embarrassing, most inappropriate and most hilarious wingboner ever, the lights dimmed as the talent show started. The rumble of the crowd quieted to a hush as the cranberry schoolteacher stepped out from behind the curtain.

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" Cherry Lee shouted proudly to the crowd, "It gives me great pleasure to see you all here tonight! We have a great show planned for you, so we would like to kick things off with..."

Cherry Lee closed his eyes, wishing he didn't have to say the actual name.

"... the Coolie Mark Commodores!"

The teacher trotted off to the side as the curtains opened, revealing three small figures draped in all black. The creepy sound of silence filled the air as they did nothing, making some in the crowd uneasy.

AJ smiled wryly at the scene before saying, "Isn't that the club Applebutter made up?"

Without warning, one of the colts let out a huge scream, tossing off his cloak to reveal the most obnoxious costume ever. Silver Bells was decked out from head to hoof in a sparkling green leotard covered with bright pink slashes, his mane was in a mohawk of disturbingly long spikes and his eyes had pink starbursts around them.

Behind him, the other two shed their cloaks as well. Applebutter wore an almost all black outfit with a matching black bandanna instead of his trademark red one. The sleeves around his hooves had a fire pattern rising up from the bottoms and his bandanna had little dragon skulls peppered all over it. Skater Roo, however, wore a dark purple unitard with sky blue and hot pink stripes all over it. His mane was styled similar to Silver Bells, but it was swept back like hedgehog spikes.

I swear, every single set of eyes in the crowd were as wide as dinner plates.

"Ah think that rotten apple is coming back ta haunt me," AJ whispered over to Gala.

"KICK IT!" Silver Bells screamed as Applebutter pulled a boombox out of nowhere.

Once his hoof made contact with the Play button, an eerie and obnoxiously loud song started to fill the air. Several ponies too close to the stage had to cover their ears, but that didn't deter the young colts onstage. They each thrashed around to the song, looking a little like they were dancing, before Silver Bells started singing.

"Load up on corn, bring your friends!

It's fun to lose and to pretend

He's so darn bored and self concerned

Oh no, I know he heard me."

Applebutter and Skater Roo started to chant as Silver Bells finished.

"Hello, hello, hello, how do?

Hello, hello, hello, how do?

Hello, hello, hello, how do?

Hello, hello, hello!"

At this point, many in the crowd were trying to shield their ears from the piercing noise, but they were unsuccessful for the most part because all three of the colts started shouting together.

"With the night out, it's more dangerous!

Here we are now, CMC-er's!

And we don't know what we're yelling!

But here we are now, the Commodores!"

Butterscotch, who was already pretty horrified from his gigantic wingboner, felt the taste of carrots in his mouth as he spun to the trash can.

Applebutter sighed impatiently as he pushed a broom to sweep up the mess. While he had the time of his young life, he and his friends apparently destroyed the entire stage. Props from other random things were strewn about the place, many in pieces. He looked over to see Silver Bells trying to pull a lyre out from the speaker on the boombox while Skater Roo stacked cardboard trees in a pile on the side of the stage.

While the three colts had thought they had given the best performance ever, it was obvious they had lost the talent show. According to their teacher, they had come in eighth place on the ballots. It seemed a little odd to Applebutter that they did that bad, especially since there were only six entrants in the talent show including themselves, but he wasn't very good at what his brother called 'dem fancy mathamaticks', so he didn't argue the results.

Outside, Butterscotch stood uncomfortably close to Red Gala, and by uncomfortably close, I mean beside her. The two were waiting for Applebutter to come out of the theater, but it didn't seem like that was happening any time soon.

"So, uh," Butterscotch started lamely, "That was, er, quite the... uh, show..."

Red Gala nodded her head.

"Eeyup."

Butterscotch rubbed the back of his head before trying to speak again.

"Um, you know, I was thinking," he started slowly, causing Red Gala to turn to him, "If, if you don't w-want to come over... tomorrow, you don't, uh, have to."

Gala just smiled at him and turned to face the theater.

"Ah gave ya my word, Buttah-Scotch. I'll be there tamarrah."

Author's Note

This chapter is dedicated to Regidar. Keep on, you glorious asshat.