The Life and Times of a West Hoof Cadet

The presence of the Long Patrol on campus caused a bit of a stir, especially among the younger cadets. Not all of them had been in the Patrol before enrolling and they had all heard the stories. While most of said stories were incredibly exaggerated, they enthralled audiences just the same. Here and there, the occasional Patrolpony regaled cadets with tales of bloodthirsty Bandersnatches, marauding Griffon pirates, and terrifying Dragons. Each more epic than the last.

While they seemed playful and relaxed, the Patrolponies were diligent about their work. I had seen more than a few poking around with the aid of one of the school's maintenance ponies. There were a great many more here than I had originally thought, enough that they had a visible presence outdoors with a few to spare to patrol the lecture halls. Some wandered along the tops of the walls, kept sentry by the gate, and I even spied a few snipers settled on the roofs. West Hoof was beginning to look less like a school and more like a fortress.

Tornado and Typhoon escorted Nimbus and I to our classes, the recent assassination attempt still fresh in the minds of the school's Instructors. Four ponies presented a greater threat than a pair of mares. Not to mention, it was a possibility that, since I had thwarted the previous attempt, I might find myself in Skyy's cross-hairs.

Nimbus seemed to be more tense than ever. Her entire posture had changed. What was once a proud continence and an almost arrogant stride was now a slow-depressing trudge. I knew what was wrong. She prided herself on being independent, not needing any pony for anything. Everypony going through all of this trouble just for her must have been a huge blow to her confidence.

“Maybe I should leave.” She observed to nopony in particular.

“Why would you do that?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Really? She's after me and me alone, alright? I-I-I mean, I'm putting every pony else in danger by being here. It doesn't matter how many stand in her way, she'll still come. These...these Long Patrol ponies, I'm sure they have better things to do than stand around watching my back. I'm sure they want to go home and see their families, and play with their foals before they have to go back out again.”

“Nimbus...”

“No!” She barked. “Everypony is putting their lives on the line because of my stupid, greedy, sister. How many are going to die when they come? How many, Wind?”

A hot lump formed in my throat. “Nim...”

“Nopony is going to die.” Tornado said.

“What do you know? Can you predict the future, Tornado Kicker? When they come, and they will come, they'll kill every...single...pony here. You, Wind, Ty, the Patrol, and every single cadet. They. Will. All. Die!”

My hoof lashed out without my bidding and struck her. Her head snapped around with enough force to crack her neck. She stumbled and nearly fell before turning back to me, shocked into silence. I surged forward and wrapped my forelegs about her, pulling her into a tight hug.

“No pony is going to die.” I hissed, fiercely. “No pony is going to die because there are hundreds of well-trained ponies here to protect you. Where are the ponies that want you to leave? Where are they? Do you see any of them waving signs? Do you hear any demanding your expulsion? It's not a secret that you're in the middle of all of this, but nopony wants you to leave. You're safer here than anywhere else and there's nothing saying that they'll attack simply because you're here. There's nothing saying they'll attack at all. You only think your presence is a danger to the rest of us, you selfish whorse.

“I don't want you to leave. Nimbus, if you even entertain such thoughts again, I'll beat the horseapples out of you. You hear me? Don't you dare abandon us. You are a Kicker and Kickers don't abandon their own.”

I felt her forelegs meet across my back as she leaned into my embrace and began to tremble.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Nopony's ever cared about me like that. I-I know I've been freaking out over nothing and...”

“Shut up.” I snarled. “I don't want to hear any more of that crap. You're going to be fine. We're going to protect you. We Kickers don't abandon our own. That means all Kickers.”

“That's right, Nimbus.” Tornado said, stepping forward to wrap a wing around her. “We've all got your back and we won't let you down.”

“Did you rehearse that?” I asked.

“A little,” he admitted. “Did it sound rehearsed?”

“Somewhat, but it wasn't bad. There was a little too much emotion.”

Nimbus giggled and removed a leg to wrap it around Tornado's neck, pulling him close. “You have no idea how much I love you two. My colt friend and my best friend.”

“Give me a break.” Typhoon muttered, rolling his eyes. “This couldn't sound more hammy if you added birds.”

I broke away to wrap Typhoon in an embrace. “Don't worry, Ty. We wuv 'oo.” I gave him a playful nuzzle.

Over the campus, bells began to ring. The first lectures of the new term were beginning. Nimbus flashed me a bright smile.

“Race ya!”

x----x

I sat on my bunk, watching Nimbus study. Celestia be praised, the mare was actually studying. I swear, I heard the spine of her Strategic Studies textbook crack when she first opened it. She glanced my way with an awkward smile before returning her attention to the book.

“If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed it.”

“What? Me studying?”

“No. You actually being able to read.”

She chuckled. “Those jokes about me being stupid are getting pretty old there, Windy. Especially considering I can best you in anything.”

“Ah-ha, you only think you can.”

She hummed, tapping her muzzle thoughtfully. “Well, let's see. I've kicked your flank in combat, equaled your grades here, your mom loves me more-”

“Oh, now I know you're full of horseapples.”

“Then I think you should know, I now have an open invitation to kick it on the Kicker Compound whenever I please.”

My eyebrows shot up at this news. “Really? That's wonderful news.” Nimbus had won her way into Mom's good graces at a speed that surprised even me. Since Mom approved of Tor's new fillyfriend, she wouldn't raise any objections to a marriage. I was content to let nature take its course. I didn't want to pressure Nim or my brother into making a commitment they might not be comfortable with. At any rate, my original intentions had been seen to and Nimbus was safe from her family. Even if things between her and Tor didn't work out, she still had a safe harbor whenever she needed it.

I rolled onto my back and stretched my legs leisurely. This final semester was going to be one for the record books. Not only did I have to do my regular studies, but my finals were going to be an arduous week-long marathon of exams that would test the endurance of the best scholar.

With a sigh, Nimbus closed her book. “I'm bored.” She complained.

“I thought your name was 'Nimbus'?”

“Oh, hardy-har-har. You know what I mean. All of this studying stuff is great, but it's really not in my nature.”

“What made you start up with that anyways?”

Nimbus looked away. “I don't want to disappoint Lieutenant Kicker.”

That caught my attention. “You're trying to impress my mom? Why?”

She shrugged. “She's the first pony, in a long time, to ever demand the best from me. Most write me off as some sort of accident waiting to happen. They think I'll get knocked-up from one of a long line of stallions or I'll die of alcohol poisoning. She's the first mare to see potential in me and expect me to live up to it. For some reason, her opinion of me really matters.”

I nodded. While Mom wasn't the most affectionate of ponies, she knew a good pony when she saw one. She demanded the best of any pony she came across and none wanted to let her down. It was some method she had of instilling a drive and desire for success that worked miracles when all else failed.

“What do you say we go out?”

I shook my head. “It's late. I'm tired and I don't want to be hungover for class tomorrow. This is a really important time for us, Nimbus. Maybe we should hold off on letting our manes down until after we graduate. Besides, we need to stay near the school, where it's safe. It won't do for all of the ponies protecting you to be here while you get popped in the streets. Anyways,” I checked my alarm clock, “It's way past curfew.”

“Since when has that stopped me?” She asked, climbing down off her bunk.

“Nim, seriously, don't.”

“I'm not going far. Just down to the Moondancer. I want to see the fillies.”

“We're gonna get caught. I didn't do all of this work for you to screw it up by getting us expelled.”

She shrugged. “So stay here.”

“No way. You're not going out alone. In fact, you're not going out at all.”

“Sorry, Windy, but if you want to stop me, you're going to have to tie me up.”

“Don't tempt me, Gust. I know six methods of restraint.”

“Kinky.” She grinned as she disappeared into the dimly lit hall.

“Nimbus, seriously, get back here!” I hissed, following at a trot. “This is a really bad idea.”

“Nopony's holding a spear to your head.” She hissed back.

“Nimbus, If I have to go tell Line, I will.” I threatened.

She called me out immediately. “Do it. I dare you.”

I didn't. Instead, I merely hung my head and followed her.

Once outside, she became a great deal more cautious. I watched the various patrols in the area. A team of Pegasi were in the sky, pulling lazy figure-eights as they scanned for threats. Unicorns were on the walls, each standing at a single point, no more than a dozen pony-lengths from each other. Earth ponies watched the entrances in groups of three, usually with another Pegasus or Unicorn in their number. A few Instructors were out and about, as well. Chatting with the guards.

Aside from the usual assortment of equipment like wing-blades and battle lances, each group kept flares ready to signal the other groups in the event of an attack. However, I could tell from their lazy and relaxed postures that they weren't incredibly diligent about their tasks. Who could blame them. They were used to keeping a constant eye for dangerous threats, not guarding school-foals.

Nimbus chose a spot on the wall that seemed to have the widest gap between guards, fluttered her wings, and disappeared over. The two guards didn't seem to notice.

I took my chance, mimicking her movements. As I came over the wall, I discovered I hadn't allowed enough clearance and my hoof caught on the edge, sending me tumbling down the other side as I let out an involuntary yelp.

Immediately, the two unicorns lit up their horns and began to scan the area. Nimbus and I flattened ourselves against the wall as the trails of light passed close. Too close for my own comfort. Finally, satisfied that there was no threat, they snuffed their lights and went back to their posts. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Nimbus, not wanting to linger, was already across the street before I followed, fighting the urge to gallop.

We made our way down side streets and alleys, meandering for the Moondancer. Nimbus had done all of this before, being notorious for sneaking off of campus after curfew. Despite how many times she had done this, she had never been caught. I was amazed at how she knew exactly where she was headed, despite the seemingly random turns she made. I would have been lost in an instant. Canterlot looked completely different after dark and many of the landmarks I had come to rely on were invisible.

After what seemed like an eternity, we emerged only a block from the front door of the Moondancer. The bar was silent as we entered. A bell rang, causing Tipsy to look up and pause in her sweeping.

“Isn't it past your bedtime?” She asked.

“Well, that's what I said.” Nimbus replied. “But Wind, here, would not shut up about how much she missed you. I figured if we came out, she would finally pipe down and let a hard-working mare sleep.”

I gaped at Nimbus, shocked that the mare would throw me under the carriage like that.

“Uh-huh. Horseapples.” Tipsy declared as she resumed her sweeping. “More likely, it's the other way around. I say Windy's got more sense n' ya an' only came to keep your plot outta trouble.”

Score one for Tips.

“But, since ya came all this way, why dontcha have a seat? Ya look like you've got somethin' on your mind, Nim. Tell Tipsy your troubles. Sometimes, it helps to have an extra pair of ears on th' issue.” She reached behind the bar and pulled out three bottle of Sweet Apple Acres cider.

“Family issues.” Nimbus said, taking a swig from her bottle.

“The best kind.” Tipsy replied. “If I had a bit for every time somepony came to me with 'family issues'. I coulda retired long ago and been livin' fatter n' Celestia.”

“That's a lot of ponies.” I commented. “Ever considered a career in psychology?”

“Waddaya think I do here? Besides mix a mean cocktail.” She leaned close. “Listen, filly, bein' in the booze business is more complicated than seein' how much I can wring from the sorry sods who wander through my door. I gotta change my personality thirteen times from one end of the bar to another, dependin' on who that particular pony needs me to be. I can be a mom, a friendly ear, a shoulder to cry on, a guardspony, a guru, anythin' and I gotta do it all while hidin' how I really feel on the subject. I gotta give good advice or somepony could get hurt on my word. I can't have that on my conscience, now can I? But, at the same time, I can't haul off and knock 'em a good one either. I gotta be straight and deceitful and make it all believable. Can ya dig it?”

I saw Tipsy in a new light. Originally, I thought of the bar mare as a goof who liked to flirt with her customers while putting on a good show. Never once had I considered that she was a rather deep and wise pony. She had taught me more, in one statement, than I could have learned in a lifetime at West Hoof. “Yeah. I think I do.”

“Alright. Back to you, dumbplot. What kinda mess did ya find yourself in this time?”

“Inheritance.”

Tipsy hissed disapprovingly and I caught a mutter of “If I had a bit...”

“I didn't know your folks had gone hooves-up.”

“They haven't, but it's already been established who's going to get what.” Nim responded before taking another pull from her bottle. “Thing is...it's not much. My greedy nag of a sister wants everything for herself. She's already seen to my brother and is trying to take care of me.”

“Let me stop ya right there, Nim. I don't really think I'm the pony you should be telling this to.”

“We've already told the powers that be.” I clarified. “They're looking for Skyy, but they aren't having much luck.”

Tipsy nodded and gestured for Nimbus to continue.

“It's just...I'm scared. I know I live like this Discord-May-Care filly and that's because I want to live my life, not hide under some bed and wait for her to come to me, but, Tips...” She drew a ragged breath and displayed the first signs of sheer terror I had seen from her. “I don't want to die.”

“Well, what pony does, Nim?” Tipsy replied. “There ain't no denyin', this is a real mess. The way I see it, you've got two options. You already know what those are, but you've gotta ace-in-the-hole.”

“A what?”

Tipsy gave us a sly smile. “Did I ever tell ya about how I got my hooves on the Moondancer?”

When she received no reply, she began her tale.

“It was in a game of Hoof-full, oh, about ten years ago. I was just a little older than ya. I've always had a talent for that game. It's that personality thing I was talkin' about. Anyways, in Hoof-full, a pony has ten cards. Each of those cards is assigned a number value from one to eleven. Aces can either be one or eleven, depending on how the player wanted them. Celestia was a ten, Luna was a nine, Discord was an eight and it went down from there by face number. The object of the game was to have the highest value hoof, get as much money from the other ponies as possible, and win the pot of bets in the center. Now, the way to get the most money was to make all of the other players think ya had the highest hoof, which was done by bluffing. The way to bluff was to keep adding bits to the pot. Still with me?”

We both nodded. Tipsy drained her bottle and sat back, a faraway look in her eyes.

“I was hotter n' the sun that night. Filly Luck wanted to be my gal and I kept trading hooves for bits. Eventually, it was just me and this old colt who was stubborn as a mule. His coin purse was as deep as the sea and he just kept emptying it. Eventually, when all of his money made it to the pot, he pulled out the deed to this place. I didn't have the bits to match his bet, so I offered him the only thing I could...me. Ten years of doin' whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Period. Whether it was knockin' me around or knockin' me up. He agreed to the wager and we placed down our hooves, but not before I scratched myself. The card I pulled out was an ace, which was enough to bump me above him. Yeah, I know. I took a big risk that night. If the ace I pulled out matched his...well...let's say I wouldn't be havin' this conversation with ya tonight.

“My point is; my ace helped me to win. It was my secret weapon that no pony knew about. You do too, Nim. Ya got Windy. This mare's got the best head on her shoulders that I've seen in a long time. She can pull ya through anything if ya just listen to her and do what she says.”

“Wow, Tipsy. I had no idea. Do you still play?”

The unicorn shook her head. “Nah. Since I took over here, I've either been too busy or too tired to even think about another game. Anyways, that last match scared me straight. I remember goin' back to my room and shakin' for a good hour, thinkin' about how big a risk I took and how close I had come to really screwin' my life up.”

I looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed the hour. “Nim, we gotta go.”

Tipsy nodded, “Yeah. I gotta be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for tomorrow. I'd hate to show you two the door, but...”

We got up and started for the door.

“Hey, fillies.” We turned back to Tipsy. “Watch yourselves out there. I'm older now, too old to go and make new friends. I'd like to keep the ones I have.”

Nimbus turned and rushed back to the bar mare, embracing her tightly. “I love you too, Tips.”

The older Unicorn gently nuzzled Nimbus before pushing her away. “Go, before you get us in trouble. I know it's not in your nature, but be careful out there. Wind, watch her back. If I find out that she gets killed, I'm coming for your pelt.”

I gave Tipsy a little salute before turning and leaving. Once outside, I let Nimbus take the lead as we retraced our steps, favoring the alleys for the main streets. Even though I had a better idea of where we were going, I still didn't trust myself enough to travel it alone without getting hopelessly lost.

In short time, we found ourselves at the wall surrounding the school. Selecting a different position, we hopped over and landed near the Long Patrol's temporary shelters that were set up on the school's hoofball field.

“As enjoyable as that was, I don't think we should do it again.” I commented as we started back towards the dorm.

“What are you whining about. I've never been caught.”

“Freeze!”

The command startled me into stillness as we were bathed in bright white light. The silhouettes of three armored ponies stood in the light. The one in the center started forward.
“Well,” said Blizzard. “You're the last one I'd expect to see out here. Your mother will not be happy about this. Not in the slightest.”