Ponheesie

by SonsofDoctors

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Romance, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 957

Danaery- ahem, excuse me, Fluttershy gets sold to the Kha- ahem, Big Mac.

Fluttershy finds out that her long-lost brother doesn't exactly have her best wishes in mind…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-13 03:40:01 UTC

"I don't want to be his queen." "Well too fucking bad."

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy!" the old and wrinkled mailman wheezed, as he waved a letter in the air. "I have a letter for you, Fluttershy!"

The pegasus was annoyed. Why couldn't the darn mailman just put her mail in the box and be on his way like he did with everyone else? She suspected he had feelings for her. The thought made her queasy.

She reached the end of the path leading down from her cottage and politely greeted the mailman. Sorry, mailpony. We all know that in Equestria no one will know what you're saying if you use terms like "man", "everyone", and "people."

She tried to take the letter from the old pony without touching him. However, as soon as she grabbed the envelope, his grip on it strengthened and he leaned in beside her, pressing his face close. He breathed into her ear and said with stale breath reeking of cheetos and semen, "I've got a package waiting for you at my place. It's too heavy for me to carry here, so what do ya say you come on over sometime and I'll help you... receive your mail.

He put on a dark pair of shades and galloped off into the sunset with Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name," playing loudly on the boombox he held over his shoulder.

That was the moment that Fluttershy never truly got over. She spent the rest of her life slightly scarred by the simple 5 second exchange of words at her mailbox.

Enough about Fluttershy's numerous mental disorders, though, she decided to open the letter right then and there.

She got out a letter opener that she always kept in her sock for moments like these. Yes, she keeps a letter opener in her sock . It's not like she suddenly has it because it's necessary for the plot.

She slid the opener underneath the flap of the envelope and slit it open. To her surprise, the letter inside looked more royal and official than anything Princess Celestia had ever written. That is probably because she is not the blood of the dragon.

"My dearest Fluttershy," the letter read, "I, Viserys, your only brother, King of the Andals, the First Men, and the Protector of the Realm, am writing to inform you of my imminent arrival at that dunghill you call 'Ponyville.'"

"That wasn't very nice!" she said to herself, before continuing to read.

"Just as a warning, you should be bathed and dressed before I arrive. I would non-sexually caress your breasts at the moment, but I am not there. And when I arrive there will be no time. Yours truly, Viserys Targaryen."

Fluttershy lowered the letter from her eyes to look dramatically off camera. Her mind was in a haze of confusion and disbelief. She couldn't have a brother; she would know about it if she did. However, there was the proof, right in her hand, written in ink. It must be true because why else would the man have taken the time to write down all of that stuff if it wasn't? What would he gain from lying about this?

*Narrator gives a sarcastic/satirical look towards Christian demographic*

Fluttershy snapped back into reality. Suddenly, she knew exactly what to do. In her moment of clarity, she rushed up the drive to her cottage and burst through the front door.

"WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS!!!!"

(There's the catchphrase)

"Well," Fluttershy thought to herself, "the above words in parentheses were supposed to be the end of this chapter, but apparently it has to be 1,000+ words to be published. Not sure when they put that rule in, but whatever. So here I go, attempting to write more words in the chapter, even though it was sufficient for my purposes to begin with, but no, my creative writing and fandom mashing isn't up to certain standards. I am quite ashamed. I should not have known I couldn't post a short chapter."

Fluttershy was quite perturbed. She sat down at her laptop and recorded her thoughts on a fanfiction website.

"I would have liked to publish a fanfic I wrote a while back," she typed, "but I didn't write enough words."

Her face drooped into a frown.

"Of course, I'm writing all of this on my own, as my character, and this is certainly not a blog post of the narrator. Oh boy, would the aforementioned moderators be angry if it were that. And I'm certainly not making fun of the people who run the site, that would be horrendous."

She stopped typing and saved her chapter.

"Damn," she thought, "still too short."

Only after that did she realize that she might as well write more content that actually has to do with developing the plot line, seeing as she would have to write anyway. So she sat back down and... Drew a blank.

"Meh, I'll do it later," she said aloud.

She closed her laptop and rushed up the stairs to her bedroom. Within, she discovered her bath had already been filled with scalding hot water. But Fluttershy was a risk-taker. She was wild and free, and a teenage pony. And there is one thing she is above all else. There is that one enormous attribute to her that sets her apart. No, not beeing the blood of the dragon. Not being the Mother of Dragons, no. None of that compares to what she really is....

She's the hero Ponyville deserves... But not the one it needs right now. So Drogo will fuck her. Because she can take it. Because she's not a hero. She's a silent guardian. A watchful protector...

The last of the dragons.