Chapter I - HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bane Goes to Equestria with Unlimited C4 Explosives
Chapter One - HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A Random story by VintageThunder98
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Caramel walked out of his home and shut the door behind him, taking in the fresh air.
Today was going to be a good day.
Caramel was currently walking down a dirt pathway that led passed Sweet Apple Acres and into the central market place in Ponyville.
Hmm, Lets see... Picked up the flowers from Rosebud. Check.
Payed Rarity back for the bow tie... Check.
All thats left is to pick up some apples and Im done for the da- Hey, Whats that? Caramel thought as a figure approached him.
He was about six feet tall, and was a bi-pedal creature that wore a grey leather coat and a very intimidating mask.
"Hello there!" The creature said in an ectastic voice.
"O-Oh, um... hi?" Caramel replied.
"My name is Bane, and I am just wondering if you would like to see something amazing!"
Ok... What?
"Oh, well I am kinda busy at the moment... I mean I was just gonna pick some stuff up from the market real quick so-"
"Don't worry about that stuff! We should go on an adventure!"
"Wha-"
"Come with me, talking pony," Bane said as he walked passed Caramel.
What just happened...?
Bane and Caramel walked together all the way to the North-East side of Ponyville to a hill that had a view of Fluttershys cottage.
"Now, Do you see that small house over there?"
"Y-Yes."
"Ah, Good!" Bane said as he reached into his jacket.
"Wait, what are you doing-" Caramel was about to ask until Bane pulled out a small hand held device as he clicked it in his palm.
Fluttershys cottage exploded in a blazing inferno.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT" Caramel screamed as the rest of the dead animals fell from the sky.
"It truly is raining cats and dogs! Ha ha!" Bane cried out ecstatically.
"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?!" Caramel yelled as Angels corpse splattered right next to Bane.
"Oh hey, I bet this would be a great meal!" Bane said as he picked up Angels corpse and tore of a leg and handed it out to Caramel. "Want sum?"
"NOOOOO!!!"
"Mmk," Bane said as he tucked the limb into his jacket. He looked up and saw the Beautiful city of Canterlot off on the hillside. "Hey, what is that?"
"T-Thats C-Cant-terlot," Caramel said, still attempting to get a hold of himself.
"Interesting..." Bane said. "You mentioned a town on the walk over here. Where is it?"
"I-Its about a miles w-walk..."
"Hmm... Ok!" Bane said.
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Bane and Caramel stood a few yards away from Sugarcube corner.
"WAIT..." Caramel yelled. "WHAT JUST... WHAT!?!"
"Whats wrong talking horse?" Bane said, crossing his arms.
"WE WERE JUST STANDING ON THE HILL AND YOU ASKED WHERE THE TOWN WAS, AND THEN... THEN I... NOW WE'RE HERE!"
"Yes?"
"I MEAN WE JUST... Gah," Caramel said as he held a hoof to his head. "I don't know anymore."
"Hey Caramel. Who's your friend?" Pinkie Pie said as she popped out of fucking no where.
"Ah! A Pink pony... How precious! Well, I am Bane!"
"Hello Mister Bane! Do you wanna cupcake?"
"NO!" Bane cried out as he pulled out the detonator and clicked it.
Sugarcube Corners windows exploded as fire rushed out, allowing the rest of the building to fly everywhere.
"BANE" Caramel yelled.
"What?" Bane asked like nothing happened.
"STOP DOING THAT GOD DAMNIT
"Maybe." Bane said as he began walking away from the blazing inferno that was once SugarCube Corner.
"Yay! Explosions!" Pinkie Pie cried out as she began bouncing away.
Caramel face hoofed as he began to chase after Bane.
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Bane continued his way through Ponyville until he reached a large tree that had a book symbol outside.
"Hmm... I wonder what this is!" Bane said aloud as he began stroking his mask like he would a beard. "Needs more explosions."
"HALT!" A very loud voice boomed overhead as a large Blue-Purple pony landed a few feet from Bane.
"Oh, Hello there! What might your name be?"
"Thy name is Princess Luna, Guardian and Sister of the night!" She cried out.
"Sister? SISTER? The night may be your ally, but you were merely adopted. I was born in darkness! You-"
"SILENCE" Luna yelled. "YOU ARE UNDER ARREST BY THE ORDER OF THE ROYAL GUARD. WHAT DO YOU SAY IN THY DEFENSE?
"EXPLOSIONS!" Bane cried as he clicked the detonator.
In the background of the scene, Canterlots supporting pillars exploded in fire, allowing the entire castle fell down the mountain, turning into rubble.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Bane laughed loudly as Luna zapped him with a banishment spell, sucking Bane into a portal.
Caramel sprinted in, attempting to catch his breath. "Princess, are you ok!?!"
"I am fine Caramel." Luna said.
"B-But what about Canterlot?" He said, pointing towards the rubble and large mushroom cloud that had formed.
"Oh, thats not the real Canterlot. The real Canterlot is much further away, thats just a setup for the children."
"What?"
"Nothing dear Caramel, Nothing." Luna said as she pulled Caramel in and pressed her lips against his, allowing her tongue to slip in. She pulled away, seeing a very stunned Caramel.
Luna smirked as she flew off into the moonset.
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FIN
Author's Note
This is just something random I wrote at midnight.
This isn't anything serious, so no need to go writing reviews and stuff ;P
