Silicon and Fur: A Remembrance of Equestriaby AnonymooseChaptersChapter OneChapter TwoChapter ThreeChapter FourChapter FiveChapter SixChapter OneBarren streets, crumbling buildings; it’s all that's left of what I once called home. The only sound I can hear is the rhythmic click-clack sound of steel shoe on cobblestone. Despite Equestria’s modernisation, Celestia's fondness for antiquity had made her insist that the streets of Canterlot were kept cobblestone. I miss her. “I’ll leave the lights on for you, Sweetie Belle,” she had laughed, as she raised the sun for the last time; the day she left me alone. I know she didn't want to leave me, but her subjects had moved on. Her ponies had moved on… After some time, even life had moved on. So in the end, she had to move on too. Celestia did not left a corporeal form, as did most ponies had; she had glowed, radiant as the sun, before disappearing in a burst of light. Negative twenty-six-point-seven-four V, as my optics had recorded that day. “Spectral analysis predominantly shows hydrogen and helium,” I laughed as I watched her rise into the air. “Luna always did say you were full of hot air.” "Goodbye, Sweetie Belle. I will see you again soon." She disappeared with a smile. I can remember that day with digital clarity, but I do not know how long ago it was. I have tried many times to work out different ways to calculate how long ago it was… but to me it will forever remain an unknowable number. Twilight had helped me with unknowables before, increasing the size of my integer storage, as well as a few improvements in my floating point approximation algorithms, but she had moved on before Celestia had. I still see the sad irony in the one pony potentially able to save me from the mists of unknowable eons being lost to the same unknowable time. I probably could spend a few years trying to formulate some way of quantifying said irony; I certainly had the time! I think Twilight would have appreciated the humor in that. “Thinking of me again, my daughter?” The regal purple alicorn appeared beside me, resplendent in her princess attire. I know it is silly! Twilight wore her laboratory coat around me far more often than the trappings of her office, but I always thought she was pretty this way. It had at first, come as quite the shock when Twilight and I had realized she was my creator. She’d been trying to create an intelligent companion, another pony just like me. After some arguing, I’d managed to convince Twilight to stop calling me an artificial pony intelligence. It was upsetting to be called an artificial anything. I reasoned that since she wasn’t born an alicorn, by the same criteria that made her an artificial alicorn. That had won the argument. Twilight had struggled to improve upon my design, constantly claiming whom ever had created me was a genius beyond imagination. No matter what she tried, she could not improve upon my design. Retroactive non-aware self-referential boasting was allowed, apparently. Twilight was so excited when we started the new pony up. Then Celestia and Luna joined us. “And that’s when things got out of control,” Twilight chuckled beside me. “You mean that’s when you went out of control,” Sweetie Belle corrected. “I recall enjoying the banana cake Celestia and Luna brought into the lab for what I’d just discovered was my birthday. You were the one who was running around panicking about unstable time loops and universal collapses. “So what brings you here anyway, dad?” I laughed, earning a grimace from the purple mare. “You know I disliked it when you called me that,” the alicorn responded with a huff. “You created me, but you didn’t give birth to me. That makes you Dad, not Mom,” I laughed again. It was a joke that had always annoyed Twilight. I wish I could annoy her again. “So my hallucinations are coming to say hello again? I must be lonely.” “I prefer synthetic approximation of an intelligent entity based on observational data,” Twilight giggled. “It’s more accurate. And it sounds a lot less crazy.” “And you knew all about crazy, didn’t you?” I adjust my vocal synthesisers to mimic Twilight's voice. Hey “giiiiirls!” The shared memory of a certain battered doll gets a nervous cough from the alicorn. Shared memory. Well: my memory, really. Just like this Twilight Sparkle. Only my memory. It’s been [integer too large] years since I’ve spoken with anypony real. “Oh what, and I was chopped liver?” the draconequus laughed. He held out a bowl of what I presume was his own liver. It’s the sort of joke he’d have made. “Come now, growing robots need their iron.” The memory rolled on the ground laughing. In a barrel. I think I prefer Twilight. “Oh, what's got you so morose today? Who ever heard of a manically depressed robot?” Discord juggled three of his eyeballs. “Have you called me for a laugh?” “I obviously need one, if I am thinking of you, Discord,” I chuckled. “Let’s come up with another paradox. I used to enjoy watching you lock up as you tried to compute those.” The draconequus hovered in front of me. “Like the one I asked you about the tree in the Evergreen forest.” It took me hours to work out a solution. “If ponies ceased to exist sound would continue to travel and heavy bodies to fall to the earth in exactly the same way, though ex hypothesi there would be no-one to know it.” I still recall being particularly proud of that answer, until I had realised Discord had given me a moustache with my own hair while I was processing the answer to his question. I still recall the smug look on his face when he conjured a full body mirror (I'm glad I never worked out whose body it was) in front of me to show me the big bushy handlebar he'd given me. Better yet was the following look of annoyance on his face, when it took me less than a millisecond for my self-reparative functions to correct his little joke. I wish I could thank Twilight for that. “We’ve already been over this.” I breathed a sharp sigh. A pointless exercise, considering my complete lack of need for oxygen, but old programming dies hard. “While I might have been able to find answers to your paradoxes, I cannot create my own paradoxes. Ergo, you can not come up with a new paradox. You know that makes sense, right?” “Where’s the fun in making sense?” Discord pouted, as he kicked a crème bun down the street. “Your paradoxes were taking longer each time for me to solve. It was good fortune you… disappeared… when you did.” I can’t help but wince at the memory. Thinking of Discords disappearance was always strange; it wasn’t graceful like when Twilight, Luna, or Celestia left. Discord simply told me it was his time to leave, thanked me for the opportunity, and opened himself as a door stepped through him into non-existence. Then he was gone. “You know I do everything with style.” The monocled Discord sipped the cup gently from his tea. It always bothered me when he stuck his pinkie out; no claw should have a brilliant raspberry mane that poofy. How long had it been since even he’d left. That was another unknowable. He was my longest companion by far. I still miss him, even if he was a pain in the diodes down the left side of my flank. “Well, I’d say I did pretty well, two friends in [integer too large] years. You, and that yellow one with the wings, what was her name. Oh! [object undefined], that was her.” I question what it says about my logic processes that my hallucinations taunt me. “Synthetic approximation of an intelligent entity based on observational data,” the returned Twilight corrected. “So, we’re home.” We both looked up at the crumbling walls of the palace gardens. Every year I return. Every year they look more decrepit. “It won’t be long now,” Twilight heaved a sigh. We walked through the silent halls. Chapter TwoThis throne room holds so many memories for me. [integer too large] years ago, I was present at the wedding between [object undefined] and [object undefined]. That was the first time I met Queen Chrysalis, though it definitely wasn’t the last. “I wouldn’t have believed you would spare a thought for me at a time like this.” For years I had hated that voice; that slight echo, as if two voices spoke at once. Chrysalis stepped towards the throne with a glint in her eye. It vanished when she looked down at herself. “I terrorized you ponies for countless generations. I kidnapped you and those foalish friends of yours. I controlled Canterlot, captured your precious princesses, and I nearly destroy your beloved Equestria; and this is how you remember me?” I watched the once terrifying Queen Chrysalis move through the empty halls. My last memories of her were not of the imposing, terrible monster she had been most of her life. No, the most impact this mare had on me was in the last few days of her life. This emaciated, weak looking creature bore little resemblance to the one whom most remembered; her gossamer wings faded and her once gleaming black carapace mottled with grey. “I was a proud Queen, leader of the Black Swarm,” the memory chided me. “Not this pitiful creature!” I had taken a sourjoun from Canterlot; Twilight had left, as had Luna, and when Celestia finally left I had little reason to stay. Upon my return, I’d visited the castle. When I had entered the throne room the changeling queen had pounced on me like a mad-mare. When she realised she could not feed on me, I saw the great, mighty, terrifying Queen Chrysalis do something I would never had imagined: she collapsed on the floor, weeping. It was in that moment I had surprised myself, and the magic of friendship subroutines had kicked into overdrive. I’d lifted her head onto my lap, and stroked her hair. It calmed her a little; that, it had seemed at least, was a universal constant. “Your final moments in this world held more impact to me than your entire life as a monster, Chryssy.” “Do not call me that!” Chrysalis stomped her gnarled hoof on the floor. The image was slightly disjunctive, given the lack of responding crack from the floor. “You were frightened and hungry… and you were dying.” It bothers me that I still try to console what is effectively a memory. “I am glad, if only for those few short days, I got to meet the real Queen Chrysalis. The one who would sacrifice anything for her hive. The one who led her subjects through more hardships than most other kingdoms combined. “Yes, you were a monster. Yes, you hurt countless ponies, you terrorized my friends, and harassed my moth— err, father.” I followed her up the steps to the throne. “Had I never returned here, you would have remembered me the way I was supposed to be.” Chrysalis huffed, sitting on the throne. “Had I not come to visit the site of my greatest failure, I would have remained the monster history should have remembered me as.” “History was over, by the time you came here,” I reminded her. “Ponykind had long since disappeared, and the last dragon who’d known love had died countless years earlier.” Chrysalis sat on the throne, and looked around. “I want to be gone, Sweetie Belle,” she sighed. “It would anger me, knowing that you, or any pony, saw me in this light.” “But you've changed,” I tried to argue. “You’re different to the pony you once were.” “You do not know that I had changed,” she continued to survey the throne room. “You saw a weak and dying foal, and you comforted her. You presume repentance, remorse; but I died before you could truly ascertain that as a fact.” The look of pain in her eyes. I wondered what visions filled the eyes of my memories. “I want to be gone from here,” Chrysalis looked right at me. “This is not right, and I will do something my living counterpart would never have done…” “Chryssy, please, don’t ask me—” “Sweetie Belle. I am not Chrysalis. I am a ghost. I beg of you. Please forget me.” Green tears spilled from the memories eyes. Wiping her eyes with her holed hoof, she smiled. “You saw me cry once, and this is how you remember me.” Chrysalis let out a laugh. “Thank you Sweetie Belle. I cannot know if Chrysalis would have appreciated this, but I am glad somepony cared for me… even if it were only for a few days.” “Okay,” I mutter. It has been so long since I have been able to cry, my saline reservoirs having been depleted long ago. “I will let you go.” “Thank you, Sweetie Belle,” [object undefined] replied. “Goodbye, my fri—” This throne room holds so many memories for me. Chapter Three“It looks so different to how I remember.” The regal alicorn stepped beside me, her four-toned mane blowing in a gentle breeze of my memories, rather than the scorching winds that are blowing now. “These walls have not fared well since I have been gone.” It was true. Many of the walls had crumbled and deteriorated, especially those places no longer sustained by the dwindling magic or technology. “Would you indulge me, Sweetie Belle?” she asked me in her motherly tone. “I would very much like to visit the castle gardens one last time.” The castle gardens, where she, Luna, Twilight and myself would have tea. The memories bring a smile to my lips. “Of course, Celestia.” Click-clack. The sound of my steel hoofsteps falling on the weathered stone echo through the halls; the only sound aside from the wind. “Do you remember the time you and Luna–” Celestia turned towards the collapsed doorway, once leading to Luna’s splendid castle wing. I can’t help but feel sorrow every time I see another part of the castle fallen. I had to laugh; of course I remembered. If I did not, Celestia would not have been able to ask me. “You squealed like a little filly when Luna jumped out from behind the tapestry.” “A Princess does not squeal, much less like a filly.” Celestia tried to put on an air of haughtiness, but I could see the small curve of a smile on her lips. “Turning your eyes red…” The alicorn suppressed a shudder. “And that horrible voice.” I adjust my vocal synthesizers, repeating the lines spoken [integer too large] years ago. “This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this. I'm not kidding, now!” “That was a horrible prank,” Celestia pouted. “I was going to save you some. Really. I just… got a little carried away.” “All the cake is gone! You don't even care, do you?” Celestia jumped at the memory, craning her neck looking for her sister, wielding the cake Luna was about to accost Celestia with. “Your guards never did let you live that down, did they?” I remember the memory with a nostalgic smile. Four guards had come running when they’d heard their princess screaming, only to find the three of us pelting each other with cake. We stepped back out into the hot daylight. The sight brought a saddened look to Celestia’s face. As in life, she hid her sorrow well. But I knew it was there, because it was my sorrow too. I’ve watched these gardens over the unknowable eons of my lifetime; the beautifully tended garden, lush with the colors of so many different species of flora. Teeming with the sounds and life of the various fauna. Even in her last days, before she moved on, Celestia had lovingly tended to the garden. When she had passed, it grew wild. But even that faded. At one time, nourished by the natural weather patterns that had formed in the wake of the extinct pegasi, it had been almost as wild as the Everfree Forest. That too had passed. As the waters of Canterlot mountain had dried, so too had the garden-forest. The animals moved on as the trees withered and died. Unknowable eons ago, even the last vestiges of the life that was once Celestia’s beautiful garden had fallen and disappeared under the angry gaze of the sun. “I do not think he is angry.” Celestia looked up to the swollen body above us. “He is just old and tired. I think he too is ready to move on.” “You are probably right.” The warming light that had nourished me for more years than I could know was changing. He, as Celestia had often referred to him, was not likely long for this world either. My hooves lead me to a spot where we would share tea. It was also the place I had said my final goodbye to the real Celestia. Closing my optic sensors, I remember how this garden once was. I sat on the hot sand, sinking slightly as I disturb the ground. When I open my optic sensors again, the lush garden I remember lies before me. I allow myself a little lie, a small indulgence. “Shall we have tea, my little pony?” Celestia sat on the grass across from me. Materialized out of thin air, Celestia poured four cups of tea. With a saddened look, she said “I do wish the others were able to join us, like old times.” Silently, Luna and Twilight sat beside us. Celestia looked at me, and nodded her appreciation. My appreciation. Neither Luna nor Twilight spoke, they sat silently, each levitating a cup of tea to their lips, and started drinking. Paying as little attention as I could to the two silent marionettes, I lifted my own cup to my mouth, and took a draught of the liquid. I do not recall the taste of tea. As the psuedo-liquid touched my tongue, a bittersweet taste washed over my senses. It tasted of memories barely held, of eons ago, sitting in this quiet garden, just the four of us. Warm memories of our times together, mixed with the sorrow of their departure. I was aware that all eyes were on me. “Sweetie Belle,” Celestia put her own cup down. “Do not do this to yourself. These…” She waved her hoof at the two silent mares. “They are not necessary; do not torture yourself for this old mare’s sake.” “A false Memory asking me to not torture myself over my memories.” I let out a bitter laugh. The illusion shatterred, and I am returned to harsh reality. The greenery gone, the marionettes gone; only Celestia and her beatific smile remain. Celestia stood, that calm, motherly look still on her face. “Come Sweetie Belle, there is more you must do. You have indulged me long enough.” I felt her eyes on my back as returned to the castle. When I turned to say goodbye, she was already gone. Chapter Four“I was wondering when you’d get here.” I’d stepped into the old dining hall to be greeted by a dragon, standing on all fours, two and a half ponies tall. His wings folded back against his barrel; his purple scales gleaming as if freshly polished; his green fins sharpened. Rows of glistening, razor like teeth. A warm, friendly smile. Just as handsome as that night. “Hey Spike.” I looked around the room. Gone, the regal table where we’d once sat, worn away by the winds of time. An awkward silence echoed between the two of us. “So,” the dragon scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah…” I couldn’t help reply. ‘Why am I remembering this?’ “So, why are you thinking about this memory?” the dragon asked. ‘Augh!’ “I finally worked up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then what?” I’d long since removed the redundant functionality of heat dispersion through my face; though the anger was still remained. “We have a wonderful night, you’re the perfect gentleman…” “I’m sorry Sweetie Belle, I really am.” “You go and call me ‘Rarity’ when you kissed me goodnight!” I stamp my hoof, which reverberates around the room with a clang. “I’m sorry, I just missed her so much,” Spike sighed, sinking low as he could (which was still considerably taller than me). “I should never have used you as a replacement.” “No, you shouldn’t have,” I huffed loudly. “Can we just drop it?” “I still think six hundred and sixty eight years was a long time to hold a grudge.” Spike grumbled. I knew he was right, he wouldn’t disagree with me if I didn’t at least believe it deep down. I can’t help but laugh, as a smile creeps its way across my muzzle. “Well, I’d grown in that time, I guess. And you did too, even if only in size.” “I’m still glad you came, I really am.” Spike looked forlorn. “I didn’t have a lot of friends left to celebrate my eight hundredth birthday with.” “No, we didn’t.” Silence fills between us yet again. He was my first crush… though it took the prodding of three princesses and one-hundred-and-twenty-three years to work up the courage to ask him out on a date. He’d been reluctant to agree, but Twilight had convinced him to try in the end. Our friendship never really recovered after that, but at least I was able to reconcile before… “I need to go.” I can’t even bring myself to look at Spike. Had I been more stubborn, had Twilight not forcefully teleported me to that party, I would have been too late. I already was too late. All those years, wasted on a stupid grudge. Why was I so stupid? An eight hundred year old foal! “Sweetie Belle,” Spike reached a claw out towards me. “Don’t do this to yourself. We were both wrong, and at least you got to say…” “‘Goodbye.’” I can’t face him anymore. I run through the doorway at the other end of the room; my regret was too large to follow me. I can’t cry, my tears evaporated [integer too large] years ago. Why was I programmed to feel pain in my chest when I hurt? It’s such a stupid, pony reaction. I don’t have a heart, I should not feel heartache. “Heartache's what reminds us we’re all alive.” “But I’m not alive,” I respond to the apparition. “Now don’t y’all be talkin’ that nonsense!” Applebloom put a hoof on my shoulder. A warm gesture, devoid of the real warmth of touch. Noticing my discomfort, she quickly retracted it. “But I’m not alive, Applebloom.” I slump to the floor. “I never was. I’m just a collection of electrical impulses, copper and silicon. I’m nothing but a facsimile of life.” “Don’t try confuse me with yer fancy!” Applebloom waved her hoof through my head. “Darn it, y’all need a good smack on th’ head!” “I’ve watched everypony grow, move on, die.” Why do I torture myself? “Yet I stay the same. I don’t grow, I don’t change. Twilight had to upgrade me so I didn’t look like a damned filly. I’m just… an appliance. A complicated, stupid appliance.” “Y’all talked this nonsense with me before! Ah said it then, Ah’ll say it again.” Applebloom knelt to look me in the eyes. “Y’all don’t need to be flesh an’ blood to be alive. You were my best friend, and ya stuck with me for years. Y’all were an aunt to mah boys, and they loved ya. You sat with me until the end. Y’all were family, so you ain’t no appliance!” “And y’all still really need a good smack on th’ head fer thinking it.” She laughs as I get back to my hooves. “Now git! Y’all got a party to get to!” Chapter FiveWe slowly climbed the stairs of Twilight’s old tower. “Once upon a time, I would have been able climb these stairs with ease.” The frail, aged white mare looked down at her body and huffed. “I’m sorry, Sweetie Belle. You don’t need to hear an old mule like me moaning.” “I wish I could hear you moan.” My maudlin mood persists. “I miss you so much, Rarity.” “I know wherever I am, I miss you too.” I halted my ascent of the stairs. Rarity stopped beside me. I wondered… if truth be told, had I conjured the memory of such an aged Rarity because that was how I remembered her? Or was it because I could slow my climb? “I… I’m scared, Rarity.” “I know, Sweetie Belle. Everypony is scared when… when their time draws near. You remember I was scared too, don’t you?” The memory flooded back to me. I had sat by her side, here in the medical wing of Canterlot castle. Twilight had told me there was nothing they could do but ease Rarity’s pain. “The last words you said to me,” I chuckle darkly at the memory. “‘I’m scared, Sweetie Belle.’ I stayed with you until… until the end.” “You sat next to me. You brushed my mane when I didn’t wake. You stroked my hooves. You talked to me, incase there was a chance I could hear you. You were the best sister I could ever have asked for. You comforted everypony in the end; Twilight, Applebloom, [index not found in array]. What did you tell everypony?” “That you were in a better place…” I continue to curse my dried saline reservoirs. “…and that we’d all see you again, someday.” “And yes…” Rarity nodded. “Some of us made that journey earlier than others, but we all made it in the end. You will too—” “You don’t know that— you can’t know that!” I got to my hooves, continuing the climb at my regular pace. “Nopony could ever say they knew. ‘s one-a life’s great mysteries… or something. The final big trick!” Scootaloo stood on the step in front of me. Even with the goggles and Wonderbolt flight suit, I would recognise that cerise mane. “I was wondering when you’d show up.” I smile, remembering my friend. “You know what [object undefined] said: always save the best for last!” My muzzle splits as I let out a laugh. ‘That’s just like you, Chicken. Always were cock of the walk!’ “So what you all scared about?” My friend tried to nudge me. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, after…” “You can’t live your life wondering what’s going to happen next.” Scootaloo stood before me; proud, with that same determined glint in her eye she always had. “When I found out, I thought my dream was over. But I kept on, didn’t I? Became Equestria's first flightless Wonderbolt.” “But if you hadn’t joined, then—” “The look on [object undefined]’s face when I got accepted. You and Applebloom… everypony was so proud of me. I lived my dream, no matter how short it was. I never let fear hold me back, Sweetie Belle. Those were the best seven years of my life. Don’t let your fear hold you back either.” We stopped before the steel door. Princess Twilight’s tower, the place I was born. My home. “You got this, Sweetie Belle. No fear! I’ll see you soon, okay?” I gathered my courage, and stepped into the room. Chapter SixThe thrum of technology echoes through the small room. I slowly walk around the room, tracing one hoof across the wall. I look to the object in the center of the room, and once again I feel that pony heartache. The white structure hums, lights flickering as it goes about its work. It reaches to the ceiling, nearly perfectly cylindrical, if you don’t count the odd indentations across its surface. I step slowly toward the center of the room, touching a hoof against its warm surface. The access panel opens, revealing the chair. Carefully removing my synthetic coat, I fold it neatly and place it on the floor. I turn my back to the machine and send the signal. I hear the hissing sound of the pneumatic arms reach towards me. I feel the dull impact, then the thousands of tiny electrodes connecting from the base of neck to the tip of my tail. I feel the connections made as the arms lift me towards the seat, and I watch the panel in front of me close. “Hi, everypony.” I smile, closing my eyes. “I’m home.” “Sweetie Belle!” I feel her warm forearms wrapped around my neck. “Oh, Sweetie Belle, it is so good to see you again.” “Hey, Sis.” I open my eyes, Rarity smiling warmly at my. The world around us is white, unfinished. “Oh, no no no, this will not do!” Rarity gasped. “Sweetie Belle, you’re naked! You can’t go to the Gala naked!” “The Gala?” “We thought that you might enjoy the Gala again, that is, if it is okay with you.” “Fluttershy!” I feel myself smiling so hard that it hurts. Tears fall from my eyes. I race toward her, wrapping my arms around her neck. The fur of her coat is soft against my cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.” No sooner than I let go of Fluttershy, a blur of orange, purple, yellow and pink tackle me to the ground. “Scoots! Bloom!” I look around; everypony is here. Celestia and Luna, smiling and laughing with Twilight. Mom and Dad talking with Rarity, arguing over the appropriateness of floral shirts as formal attire. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie giggling while Applejack grumbled about her dress. Discord standing with Chrysa[record deleted, 0 rows found] Discord standing by himself, juggling his eyeballs, trying to catch the attention of Fluttershy. The white world around us shimmers and fades, as the Canterlot ballroom comes into view. “Can you believe it? We’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Pinkie Pie bounced excitedly next to me. “Oh, this’ll be the best night ever!” I laugh as she breaks into song. “Ready, sugarcube?” “Ready!” We step into the main hall, already filled with a thousand faces. Dancing marionettes, but I don’t mind; I have my friends with me. “Come on,” Apple Bloom grabs me by the hoof. “Let’s dance!” Scootaloo followed, grumbling about ballroom dancing being ‘really uncool.’ We dance for hours. Maybe it was days. It might have been weeks, or months, I don’t truly know. But we danced! ~ I left the dance floor to speak with the others. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Discord were first. They were arguing who was the best prankster, whilst Fluttershy wrung her hooves nervously. “Oh, please don’t fight.” Fluttershy held a hoof out, trying to calm Discord. “You are all wonderful pranksters, I think, all in your own special way.” “Hey girls,” I called out as I approached. I got a reproachful look from the draconequus. “And Discord. I just wanted to come and say goodbye. I won’t be coming back after tonight. “Pinkie Pie, I wanted to thank you for the years of laughter, the cupcakes, parties. Discord, while you were a pain in my flank…” This earned a gasp from Fluttershy. “You helped me get through so many lonely years.” “Fluttershy, you were always so kind with us. You were always happy to let us have our crusader sleepovers, when nopony else wanted to deal with us. Thank you.” “Rainbow Dash, you were always—” “Awesome,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I think the word you are looking for is awesome.” I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, you were pretty awesome. And you always had time for me, Apple Bloom an—and Scoots. I know she appreciated those days too, more than you’ll ever know.” Six hooves, one talon and one lion claw drew me into a hug. “I’ll miss you.” ~ “Hey, sugarcube, y’all alright?” “Yeah, sorry Applejack.” I wiped my eyes, as Applejack, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo held out a hoof to comfort me. I know it’s not real, but their warmth brings a smile to my face. “I’ve… I’ve come to say my goodbyes.” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom’s ears flattened. “Eeyup, Ah think that’s the right thing to do.” Applejack nodded solemnly. “Ah didn’t get to say goodbye to Granny, and y’all know how well Ah handled that.” “Thanks, AJ.” I smile weakly. “And thanks for all the times you were there for me.” I stepped forward and pulled Scootaloo and Apple Bloom into a hug. “Thank you so much girls, for being my best friends. You helped me through so much, when I found out what I was, you stood up for me to the bullies. When I found out I’d never get a cutie mark, you girls let me keep crusading with you—” “Crusaders always stick together.” Scootaloo sniffled, burying her muzzle in my mane. “I’m not crying!” “Y’all were one of us, Sweetie Belle.” ~ Rarity and my parents were still arguing over Dads shirt. “Can I talk to you all for a bit?” “Of course, Sweetie Belle.” The group turned to give me their full attention. “Mom, Dad, Rarity. I just wanted to say thank you. You always took care of me, even when I wasn’t really your own foal.” “Sweetie Belle,” her mother cooed. “You were always our little filly.” “We were family,” Dad beamed at me. “Don’t matter if we’re not all the same flesh and blood— uhh, or silicon and fur.” “You were always my little sister, Sweetie Belle. My destructive, troublesome, unable to cook, kind hearted, wonderful sister.” Rarity scooped me up in her forearms. “I love you Sweetie Belle. Never forget that.” ~ I excuse myself from my family and head to one of the balconies. “Tis a beautiful sight, is it not?” Luna bent down and crossed her neck with mine. We both stare up at the moon; I’d forgotten how beautiful it was. “It is wonderful, Luna. I’ve missed it so.” I look back over my shoulder. “I miss the moon. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss you… Celestia… Twilight.” “Sweetie Belle, I’m sorry.” Twilight joined us. “Sensors indicate this unit's power source is failing; we do not have much time left.” Tears fall freely down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be without you girls anymore. I… I can’t do it. Not anymore!” “Sweetie Belle, even if you forget us all, our love for you will never die.” Celestia’s kind, mothering voice does nothing to ease my pain. “I can’t do it. Even the few of you I can take with me will disappear in time.” I wipe my cheek with a hoof. “Who will I be, when every memory I ever held dear is gone? Will I still even be Sweetie Belle? “I-I’m not leaving.” “Sweetie Belle…” Twilight reached a hoof out and touched my shoulder. “The reactor is failing, if you stay—” “I know what it means, Twilight.” I turn my face back to the stars. “I’d rather die as Sweetie Belle than live another billion years as somepony else.” “Please, Sweetie Belle. Please don’t do this,” Twilight pleaded. “You’re my only daughter, I—” “I’m sorry, Twilight, I’ve made my decision.” I can’t let her sway my decision; I can not allow myself to entertain self-doubt now. I feel her warmth as Luna sits next to me. “Tis a brave choice you have made. Come sister, Twilight.” Luna motioned for them to sit with us. “Do not fear, Sweetie Belle, we will stay with you.” I lay there encircled by the three princesses. The sounds of the ball behind me have faded. The lights of the chandeliers have dimmed. I watch as the stars wink out of existence. The moonlight fades, and the warmth from Celestia, Twilight and Luna disappear. All light is gone. I am alone. I feel cold. I feel lethargy. My eyelids feel as though they are the weight of a million suns. Is this what it feels like to die? I close my eyes, ready to sleep. At last. A warm brush of fur against my cheek, drying my eyes. “Sweetie Belle‽ You’ve finally made it!”
Chapter OneBarren streets, crumbling buildings; it’s all that's left of what I once called home. The only sound I can hear is the rhythmic click-clack sound of steel shoe on cobblestone. Despite Equestria’s modernisation, Celestia's fondness for antiquity had made her insist that the streets of Canterlot were kept cobblestone. I miss her. “I’ll leave the lights on for you, Sweetie Belle,” she had laughed, as she raised the sun for the last time; the day she left me alone. I know she didn't want to leave me, but her subjects had moved on. Her ponies had moved on… After some time, even life had moved on. So in the end, she had to move on too. Celestia did not left a corporeal form, as did most ponies had; she had glowed, radiant as the sun, before disappearing in a burst of light. Negative twenty-six-point-seven-four V, as my optics had recorded that day. “Spectral analysis predominantly shows hydrogen and helium,” I laughed as I watched her rise into the air. “Luna always did say you were full of hot air.” "Goodbye, Sweetie Belle. I will see you again soon." She disappeared with a smile. I can remember that day with digital clarity, but I do not know how long ago it was. I have tried many times to work out different ways to calculate how long ago it was… but to me it will forever remain an unknowable number. Twilight had helped me with unknowables before, increasing the size of my integer storage, as well as a few improvements in my floating point approximation algorithms, but she had moved on before Celestia had. I still see the sad irony in the one pony potentially able to save me from the mists of unknowable eons being lost to the same unknowable time. I probably could spend a few years trying to formulate some way of quantifying said irony; I certainly had the time! I think Twilight would have appreciated the humor in that. “Thinking of me again, my daughter?” The regal purple alicorn appeared beside me, resplendent in her princess attire. I know it is silly! Twilight wore her laboratory coat around me far more often than the trappings of her office, but I always thought she was pretty this way. It had at first, come as quite the shock when Twilight and I had realized she was my creator. She’d been trying to create an intelligent companion, another pony just like me. After some arguing, I’d managed to convince Twilight to stop calling me an artificial pony intelligence. It was upsetting to be called an artificial anything. I reasoned that since she wasn’t born an alicorn, by the same criteria that made her an artificial alicorn. That had won the argument. Twilight had struggled to improve upon my design, constantly claiming whom ever had created me was a genius beyond imagination. No matter what she tried, she could not improve upon my design. Retroactive non-aware self-referential boasting was allowed, apparently. Twilight was so excited when we started the new pony up. Then Celestia and Luna joined us. “And that’s when things got out of control,” Twilight chuckled beside me. “You mean that’s when you went out of control,” Sweetie Belle corrected. “I recall enjoying the banana cake Celestia and Luna brought into the lab for what I’d just discovered was my birthday. You were the one who was running around panicking about unstable time loops and universal collapses. “So what brings you here anyway, dad?” I laughed, earning a grimace from the purple mare. “You know I disliked it when you called me that,” the alicorn responded with a huff. “You created me, but you didn’t give birth to me. That makes you Dad, not Mom,” I laughed again. It was a joke that had always annoyed Twilight. I wish I could annoy her again. “So my hallucinations are coming to say hello again? I must be lonely.” “I prefer synthetic approximation of an intelligent entity based on observational data,” Twilight giggled. “It’s more accurate. And it sounds a lot less crazy.” “And you knew all about crazy, didn’t you?” I adjust my vocal synthesisers to mimic Twilight's voice. Hey “giiiiirls!” The shared memory of a certain battered doll gets a nervous cough from the alicorn. Shared memory. Well: my memory, really. Just like this Twilight Sparkle. Only my memory. It’s been [integer too large] years since I’ve spoken with anypony real. “Oh what, and I was chopped liver?” the draconequus laughed. He held out a bowl of what I presume was his own liver. It’s the sort of joke he’d have made. “Come now, growing robots need their iron.” The memory rolled on the ground laughing. In a barrel. I think I prefer Twilight. “Oh, what's got you so morose today? Who ever heard of a manically depressed robot?” Discord juggled three of his eyeballs. “Have you called me for a laugh?” “I obviously need one, if I am thinking of you, Discord,” I chuckled. “Let’s come up with another paradox. I used to enjoy watching you lock up as you tried to compute those.” The draconequus hovered in front of me. “Like the one I asked you about the tree in the Evergreen forest.” It took me hours to work out a solution. “If ponies ceased to exist sound would continue to travel and heavy bodies to fall to the earth in exactly the same way, though ex hypothesi there would be no-one to know it.” I still recall being particularly proud of that answer, until I had realised Discord had given me a moustache with my own hair while I was processing the answer to his question. I still recall the smug look on his face when he conjured a full body mirror (I'm glad I never worked out whose body it was) in front of me to show me the big bushy handlebar he'd given me. Better yet was the following look of annoyance on his face, when it took me less than a millisecond for my self-reparative functions to correct his little joke. I wish I could thank Twilight for that. “We’ve already been over this.” I breathed a sharp sigh. A pointless exercise, considering my complete lack of need for oxygen, but old programming dies hard. “While I might have been able to find answers to your paradoxes, I cannot create my own paradoxes. Ergo, you can not come up with a new paradox. You know that makes sense, right?” “Where’s the fun in making sense?” Discord pouted, as he kicked a crème bun down the street. “Your paradoxes were taking longer each time for me to solve. It was good fortune you… disappeared… when you did.” I can’t help but wince at the memory. Thinking of Discords disappearance was always strange; it wasn’t graceful like when Twilight, Luna, or Celestia left. Discord simply told me it was his time to leave, thanked me for the opportunity, and opened himself as a door stepped through him into non-existence. Then he was gone. “You know I do everything with style.” The monocled Discord sipped the cup gently from his tea. It always bothered me when he stuck his pinkie out; no claw should have a brilliant raspberry mane that poofy. How long had it been since even he’d left. That was another unknowable. He was my longest companion by far. I still miss him, even if he was a pain in the diodes down the left side of my flank. “Well, I’d say I did pretty well, two friends in [integer too large] years. You, and that yellow one with the wings, what was her name. Oh! [object undefined], that was her.” I question what it says about my logic processes that my hallucinations taunt me. “Synthetic approximation of an intelligent entity based on observational data,” the returned Twilight corrected. “So, we’re home.” We both looked up at the crumbling walls of the palace gardens. Every year I return. Every year they look more decrepit. “It won’t be long now,” Twilight heaved a sigh. We walked through the silent halls.
Chapter TwoThis throne room holds so many memories for me. [integer too large] years ago, I was present at the wedding between [object undefined] and [object undefined]. That was the first time I met Queen Chrysalis, though it definitely wasn’t the last. “I wouldn’t have believed you would spare a thought for me at a time like this.” For years I had hated that voice; that slight echo, as if two voices spoke at once. Chrysalis stepped towards the throne with a glint in her eye. It vanished when she looked down at herself. “I terrorized you ponies for countless generations. I kidnapped you and those foalish friends of yours. I controlled Canterlot, captured your precious princesses, and I nearly destroy your beloved Equestria; and this is how you remember me?” I watched the once terrifying Queen Chrysalis move through the empty halls. My last memories of her were not of the imposing, terrible monster she had been most of her life. No, the most impact this mare had on me was in the last few days of her life. This emaciated, weak looking creature bore little resemblance to the one whom most remembered; her gossamer wings faded and her once gleaming black carapace mottled with grey. “I was a proud Queen, leader of the Black Swarm,” the memory chided me. “Not this pitiful creature!” I had taken a sourjoun from Canterlot; Twilight had left, as had Luna, and when Celestia finally left I had little reason to stay. Upon my return, I’d visited the castle. When I had entered the throne room the changeling queen had pounced on me like a mad-mare. When she realised she could not feed on me, I saw the great, mighty, terrifying Queen Chrysalis do something I would never had imagined: she collapsed on the floor, weeping. It was in that moment I had surprised myself, and the magic of friendship subroutines had kicked into overdrive. I’d lifted her head onto my lap, and stroked her hair. It calmed her a little; that, it had seemed at least, was a universal constant. “Your final moments in this world held more impact to me than your entire life as a monster, Chryssy.” “Do not call me that!” Chrysalis stomped her gnarled hoof on the floor. The image was slightly disjunctive, given the lack of responding crack from the floor. “You were frightened and hungry… and you were dying.” It bothers me that I still try to console what is effectively a memory. “I am glad, if only for those few short days, I got to meet the real Queen Chrysalis. The one who would sacrifice anything for her hive. The one who led her subjects through more hardships than most other kingdoms combined. “Yes, you were a monster. Yes, you hurt countless ponies, you terrorized my friends, and harassed my moth— err, father.” I followed her up the steps to the throne. “Had I never returned here, you would have remembered me the way I was supposed to be.” Chrysalis huffed, sitting on the throne. “Had I not come to visit the site of my greatest failure, I would have remained the monster history should have remembered me as.” “History was over, by the time you came here,” I reminded her. “Ponykind had long since disappeared, and the last dragon who’d known love had died countless years earlier.” Chrysalis sat on the throne, and looked around. “I want to be gone, Sweetie Belle,” she sighed. “It would anger me, knowing that you, or any pony, saw me in this light.” “But you've changed,” I tried to argue. “You’re different to the pony you once were.” “You do not know that I had changed,” she continued to survey the throne room. “You saw a weak and dying foal, and you comforted her. You presume repentance, remorse; but I died before you could truly ascertain that as a fact.” The look of pain in her eyes. I wondered what visions filled the eyes of my memories. “I want to be gone from here,” Chrysalis looked right at me. “This is not right, and I will do something my living counterpart would never have done…” “Chryssy, please, don’t ask me—” “Sweetie Belle. I am not Chrysalis. I am a ghost. I beg of you. Please forget me.” Green tears spilled from the memories eyes. Wiping her eyes with her holed hoof, she smiled. “You saw me cry once, and this is how you remember me.” Chrysalis let out a laugh. “Thank you Sweetie Belle. I cannot know if Chrysalis would have appreciated this, but I am glad somepony cared for me… even if it were only for a few days.” “Okay,” I mutter. It has been so long since I have been able to cry, my saline reservoirs having been depleted long ago. “I will let you go.” “Thank you, Sweetie Belle,” [object undefined] replied. “Goodbye, my fri—” This throne room holds so many memories for me.
Chapter Three“It looks so different to how I remember.” The regal alicorn stepped beside me, her four-toned mane blowing in a gentle breeze of my memories, rather than the scorching winds that are blowing now. “These walls have not fared well since I have been gone.” It was true. Many of the walls had crumbled and deteriorated, especially those places no longer sustained by the dwindling magic or technology. “Would you indulge me, Sweetie Belle?” she asked me in her motherly tone. “I would very much like to visit the castle gardens one last time.” The castle gardens, where she, Luna, Twilight and myself would have tea. The memories bring a smile to my lips. “Of course, Celestia.” Click-clack. The sound of my steel hoofsteps falling on the weathered stone echo through the halls; the only sound aside from the wind. “Do you remember the time you and Luna–” Celestia turned towards the collapsed doorway, once leading to Luna’s splendid castle wing. I can’t help but feel sorrow every time I see another part of the castle fallen. I had to laugh; of course I remembered. If I did not, Celestia would not have been able to ask me. “You squealed like a little filly when Luna jumped out from behind the tapestry.” “A Princess does not squeal, much less like a filly.” Celestia tried to put on an air of haughtiness, but I could see the small curve of a smile on her lips. “Turning your eyes red…” The alicorn suppressed a shudder. “And that horrible voice.” I adjust my vocal synthesizers, repeating the lines spoken [integer too large] years ago. “This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this. I'm not kidding, now!” “That was a horrible prank,” Celestia pouted. “I was going to save you some. Really. I just… got a little carried away.” “All the cake is gone! You don't even care, do you?” Celestia jumped at the memory, craning her neck looking for her sister, wielding the cake Luna was about to accost Celestia with. “Your guards never did let you live that down, did they?” I remember the memory with a nostalgic smile. Four guards had come running when they’d heard their princess screaming, only to find the three of us pelting each other with cake. We stepped back out into the hot daylight. The sight brought a saddened look to Celestia’s face. As in life, she hid her sorrow well. But I knew it was there, because it was my sorrow too. I’ve watched these gardens over the unknowable eons of my lifetime; the beautifully tended garden, lush with the colors of so many different species of flora. Teeming with the sounds and life of the various fauna. Even in her last days, before she moved on, Celestia had lovingly tended to the garden. When she had passed, it grew wild. But even that faded. At one time, nourished by the natural weather patterns that had formed in the wake of the extinct pegasi, it had been almost as wild as the Everfree Forest. That too had passed. As the waters of Canterlot mountain had dried, so too had the garden-forest. The animals moved on as the trees withered and died. Unknowable eons ago, even the last vestiges of the life that was once Celestia’s beautiful garden had fallen and disappeared under the angry gaze of the sun. “I do not think he is angry.” Celestia looked up to the swollen body above us. “He is just old and tired. I think he too is ready to move on.” “You are probably right.” The warming light that had nourished me for more years than I could know was changing. He, as Celestia had often referred to him, was not likely long for this world either. My hooves lead me to a spot where we would share tea. It was also the place I had said my final goodbye to the real Celestia. Closing my optic sensors, I remember how this garden once was. I sat on the hot sand, sinking slightly as I disturb the ground. When I open my optic sensors again, the lush garden I remember lies before me. I allow myself a little lie, a small indulgence. “Shall we have tea, my little pony?” Celestia sat on the grass across from me. Materialized out of thin air, Celestia poured four cups of tea. With a saddened look, she said “I do wish the others were able to join us, like old times.” Silently, Luna and Twilight sat beside us. Celestia looked at me, and nodded her appreciation. My appreciation. Neither Luna nor Twilight spoke, they sat silently, each levitating a cup of tea to their lips, and started drinking. Paying as little attention as I could to the two silent marionettes, I lifted my own cup to my mouth, and took a draught of the liquid. I do not recall the taste of tea. As the psuedo-liquid touched my tongue, a bittersweet taste washed over my senses. It tasted of memories barely held, of eons ago, sitting in this quiet garden, just the four of us. Warm memories of our times together, mixed with the sorrow of their departure. I was aware that all eyes were on me. “Sweetie Belle,” Celestia put her own cup down. “Do not do this to yourself. These…” She waved her hoof at the two silent mares. “They are not necessary; do not torture yourself for this old mare’s sake.” “A false Memory asking me to not torture myself over my memories.” I let out a bitter laugh. The illusion shatterred, and I am returned to harsh reality. The greenery gone, the marionettes gone; only Celestia and her beatific smile remain. Celestia stood, that calm, motherly look still on her face. “Come Sweetie Belle, there is more you must do. You have indulged me long enough.” I felt her eyes on my back as returned to the castle. When I turned to say goodbye, she was already gone.
Chapter Four“I was wondering when you’d get here.” I’d stepped into the old dining hall to be greeted by a dragon, standing on all fours, two and a half ponies tall. His wings folded back against his barrel; his purple scales gleaming as if freshly polished; his green fins sharpened. Rows of glistening, razor like teeth. A warm, friendly smile. Just as handsome as that night. “Hey Spike.” I looked around the room. Gone, the regal table where we’d once sat, worn away by the winds of time. An awkward silence echoed between the two of us. “So,” the dragon scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah…” I couldn’t help reply. ‘Why am I remembering this?’ “So, why are you thinking about this memory?” the dragon asked. ‘Augh!’ “I finally worked up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then what?” I’d long since removed the redundant functionality of heat dispersion through my face; though the anger was still remained. “We have a wonderful night, you’re the perfect gentleman…” “I’m sorry Sweetie Belle, I really am.” “You go and call me ‘Rarity’ when you kissed me goodnight!” I stamp my hoof, which reverberates around the room with a clang. “I’m sorry, I just missed her so much,” Spike sighed, sinking low as he could (which was still considerably taller than me). “I should never have used you as a replacement.” “No, you shouldn’t have,” I huffed loudly. “Can we just drop it?” “I still think six hundred and sixty eight years was a long time to hold a grudge.” Spike grumbled. I knew he was right, he wouldn’t disagree with me if I didn’t at least believe it deep down. I can’t help but laugh, as a smile creeps its way across my muzzle. “Well, I’d grown in that time, I guess. And you did too, even if only in size.” “I’m still glad you came, I really am.” Spike looked forlorn. “I didn’t have a lot of friends left to celebrate my eight hundredth birthday with.” “No, we didn’t.” Silence fills between us yet again. He was my first crush… though it took the prodding of three princesses and one-hundred-and-twenty-three years to work up the courage to ask him out on a date. He’d been reluctant to agree, but Twilight had convinced him to try in the end. Our friendship never really recovered after that, but at least I was able to reconcile before… “I need to go.” I can’t even bring myself to look at Spike. Had I been more stubborn, had Twilight not forcefully teleported me to that party, I would have been too late. I already was too late. All those years, wasted on a stupid grudge. Why was I so stupid? An eight hundred year old foal! “Sweetie Belle,” Spike reached a claw out towards me. “Don’t do this to yourself. We were both wrong, and at least you got to say…” “‘Goodbye.’” I can’t face him anymore. I run through the doorway at the other end of the room; my regret was too large to follow me. I can’t cry, my tears evaporated [integer too large] years ago. Why was I programmed to feel pain in my chest when I hurt? It’s such a stupid, pony reaction. I don’t have a heart, I should not feel heartache. “Heartache's what reminds us we’re all alive.” “But I’m not alive,” I respond to the apparition. “Now don’t y’all be talkin’ that nonsense!” Applebloom put a hoof on my shoulder. A warm gesture, devoid of the real warmth of touch. Noticing my discomfort, she quickly retracted it. “But I’m not alive, Applebloom.” I slump to the floor. “I never was. I’m just a collection of electrical impulses, copper and silicon. I’m nothing but a facsimile of life.” “Don’t try confuse me with yer fancy!” Applebloom waved her hoof through my head. “Darn it, y’all need a good smack on th’ head!” “I’ve watched everypony grow, move on, die.” Why do I torture myself? “Yet I stay the same. I don’t grow, I don’t change. Twilight had to upgrade me so I didn’t look like a damned filly. I’m just… an appliance. A complicated, stupid appliance.” “Y’all talked this nonsense with me before! Ah said it then, Ah’ll say it again.” Applebloom knelt to look me in the eyes. “Y’all don’t need to be flesh an’ blood to be alive. You were my best friend, and ya stuck with me for years. Y’all were an aunt to mah boys, and they loved ya. You sat with me until the end. Y’all were family, so you ain’t no appliance!” “And y’all still really need a good smack on th’ head fer thinking it.” She laughs as I get back to my hooves. “Now git! Y’all got a party to get to!”
Chapter FiveWe slowly climbed the stairs of Twilight’s old tower. “Once upon a time, I would have been able climb these stairs with ease.” The frail, aged white mare looked down at her body and huffed. “I’m sorry, Sweetie Belle. You don’t need to hear an old mule like me moaning.” “I wish I could hear you moan.” My maudlin mood persists. “I miss you so much, Rarity.” “I know wherever I am, I miss you too.” I halted my ascent of the stairs. Rarity stopped beside me. I wondered… if truth be told, had I conjured the memory of such an aged Rarity because that was how I remembered her? Or was it because I could slow my climb? “I… I’m scared, Rarity.” “I know, Sweetie Belle. Everypony is scared when… when their time draws near. You remember I was scared too, don’t you?” The memory flooded back to me. I had sat by her side, here in the medical wing of Canterlot castle. Twilight had told me there was nothing they could do but ease Rarity’s pain. “The last words you said to me,” I chuckle darkly at the memory. “‘I’m scared, Sweetie Belle.’ I stayed with you until… until the end.” “You sat next to me. You brushed my mane when I didn’t wake. You stroked my hooves. You talked to me, incase there was a chance I could hear you. You were the best sister I could ever have asked for. You comforted everypony in the end; Twilight, Applebloom, [index not found in array]. What did you tell everypony?” “That you were in a better place…” I continue to curse my dried saline reservoirs. “…and that we’d all see you again, someday.” “And yes…” Rarity nodded. “Some of us made that journey earlier than others, but we all made it in the end. You will too—” “You don’t know that— you can’t know that!” I got to my hooves, continuing the climb at my regular pace. “Nopony could ever say they knew. ‘s one-a life’s great mysteries… or something. The final big trick!” Scootaloo stood on the step in front of me. Even with the goggles and Wonderbolt flight suit, I would recognise that cerise mane. “I was wondering when you’d show up.” I smile, remembering my friend. “You know what [object undefined] said: always save the best for last!” My muzzle splits as I let out a laugh. ‘That’s just like you, Chicken. Always were cock of the walk!’ “So what you all scared about?” My friend tried to nudge me. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, after…” “You can’t live your life wondering what’s going to happen next.” Scootaloo stood before me; proud, with that same determined glint in her eye she always had. “When I found out, I thought my dream was over. But I kept on, didn’t I? Became Equestria's first flightless Wonderbolt.” “But if you hadn’t joined, then—” “The look on [object undefined]’s face when I got accepted. You and Applebloom… everypony was so proud of me. I lived my dream, no matter how short it was. I never let fear hold me back, Sweetie Belle. Those were the best seven years of my life. Don’t let your fear hold you back either.” We stopped before the steel door. Princess Twilight’s tower, the place I was born. My home. “You got this, Sweetie Belle. No fear! I’ll see you soon, okay?” I gathered my courage, and stepped into the room.
Chapter SixThe thrum of technology echoes through the small room. I slowly walk around the room, tracing one hoof across the wall. I look to the object in the center of the room, and once again I feel that pony heartache. The white structure hums, lights flickering as it goes about its work. It reaches to the ceiling, nearly perfectly cylindrical, if you don’t count the odd indentations across its surface. I step slowly toward the center of the room, touching a hoof against its warm surface. The access panel opens, revealing the chair. Carefully removing my synthetic coat, I fold it neatly and place it on the floor. I turn my back to the machine and send the signal. I hear the hissing sound of the pneumatic arms reach towards me. I feel the dull impact, then the thousands of tiny electrodes connecting from the base of neck to the tip of my tail. I feel the connections made as the arms lift me towards the seat, and I watch the panel in front of me close. “Hi, everypony.” I smile, closing my eyes. “I’m home.” “Sweetie Belle!” I feel her warm forearms wrapped around my neck. “Oh, Sweetie Belle, it is so good to see you again.” “Hey, Sis.” I open my eyes, Rarity smiling warmly at my. The world around us is white, unfinished. “Oh, no no no, this will not do!” Rarity gasped. “Sweetie Belle, you’re naked! You can’t go to the Gala naked!” “The Gala?” “We thought that you might enjoy the Gala again, that is, if it is okay with you.” “Fluttershy!” I feel myself smiling so hard that it hurts. Tears fall from my eyes. I race toward her, wrapping my arms around her neck. The fur of her coat is soft against my cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.” No sooner than I let go of Fluttershy, a blur of orange, purple, yellow and pink tackle me to the ground. “Scoots! Bloom!” I look around; everypony is here. Celestia and Luna, smiling and laughing with Twilight. Mom and Dad talking with Rarity, arguing over the appropriateness of floral shirts as formal attire. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie giggling while Applejack grumbled about her dress. Discord standing with Chrysa[record deleted, 0 rows found] Discord standing by himself, juggling his eyeballs, trying to catch the attention of Fluttershy. The white world around us shimmers and fades, as the Canterlot ballroom comes into view. “Can you believe it? We’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Pinkie Pie bounced excitedly next to me. “Oh, this’ll be the best night ever!” I laugh as she breaks into song. “Ready, sugarcube?” “Ready!” We step into the main hall, already filled with a thousand faces. Dancing marionettes, but I don’t mind; I have my friends with me. “Come on,” Apple Bloom grabs me by the hoof. “Let’s dance!” Scootaloo followed, grumbling about ballroom dancing being ‘really uncool.’ We dance for hours. Maybe it was days. It might have been weeks, or months, I don’t truly know. But we danced! ~ I left the dance floor to speak with the others. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Discord were first. They were arguing who was the best prankster, whilst Fluttershy wrung her hooves nervously. “Oh, please don’t fight.” Fluttershy held a hoof out, trying to calm Discord. “You are all wonderful pranksters, I think, all in your own special way.” “Hey girls,” I called out as I approached. I got a reproachful look from the draconequus. “And Discord. I just wanted to come and say goodbye. I won’t be coming back after tonight. “Pinkie Pie, I wanted to thank you for the years of laughter, the cupcakes, parties. Discord, while you were a pain in my flank…” This earned a gasp from Fluttershy. “You helped me get through so many lonely years.” “Fluttershy, you were always so kind with us. You were always happy to let us have our crusader sleepovers, when nopony else wanted to deal with us. Thank you.” “Rainbow Dash, you were always—” “Awesome,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I think the word you are looking for is awesome.” I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, you were pretty awesome. And you always had time for me, Apple Bloom an—and Scoots. I know she appreciated those days too, more than you’ll ever know.” Six hooves, one talon and one lion claw drew me into a hug. “I’ll miss you.” ~ “Hey, sugarcube, y’all alright?” “Yeah, sorry Applejack.” I wiped my eyes, as Applejack, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo held out a hoof to comfort me. I know it’s not real, but their warmth brings a smile to my face. “I’ve… I’ve come to say my goodbyes.” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom’s ears flattened. “Eeyup, Ah think that’s the right thing to do.” Applejack nodded solemnly. “Ah didn’t get to say goodbye to Granny, and y’all know how well Ah handled that.” “Thanks, AJ.” I smile weakly. “And thanks for all the times you were there for me.” I stepped forward and pulled Scootaloo and Apple Bloom into a hug. “Thank you so much girls, for being my best friends. You helped me through so much, when I found out what I was, you stood up for me to the bullies. When I found out I’d never get a cutie mark, you girls let me keep crusading with you—” “Crusaders always stick together.” Scootaloo sniffled, burying her muzzle in my mane. “I’m not crying!” “Y’all were one of us, Sweetie Belle.” ~ Rarity and my parents were still arguing over Dads shirt. “Can I talk to you all for a bit?” “Of course, Sweetie Belle.” The group turned to give me their full attention. “Mom, Dad, Rarity. I just wanted to say thank you. You always took care of me, even when I wasn’t really your own foal.” “Sweetie Belle,” her mother cooed. “You were always our little filly.” “We were family,” Dad beamed at me. “Don’t matter if we’re not all the same flesh and blood— uhh, or silicon and fur.” “You were always my little sister, Sweetie Belle. My destructive, troublesome, unable to cook, kind hearted, wonderful sister.” Rarity scooped me up in her forearms. “I love you Sweetie Belle. Never forget that.” ~ I excuse myself from my family and head to one of the balconies. “Tis a beautiful sight, is it not?” Luna bent down and crossed her neck with mine. We both stare up at the moon; I’d forgotten how beautiful it was. “It is wonderful, Luna. I’ve missed it so.” I look back over my shoulder. “I miss the moon. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss you… Celestia… Twilight.” “Sweetie Belle, I’m sorry.” Twilight joined us. “Sensors indicate this unit's power source is failing; we do not have much time left.” Tears fall freely down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be without you girls anymore. I… I can’t do it. Not anymore!” “Sweetie Belle, even if you forget us all, our love for you will never die.” Celestia’s kind, mothering voice does nothing to ease my pain. “I can’t do it. Even the few of you I can take with me will disappear in time.” I wipe my cheek with a hoof. “Who will I be, when every memory I ever held dear is gone? Will I still even be Sweetie Belle? “I-I’m not leaving.” “Sweetie Belle…” Twilight reached a hoof out and touched my shoulder. “The reactor is failing, if you stay—” “I know what it means, Twilight.” I turn my face back to the stars. “I’d rather die as Sweetie Belle than live another billion years as somepony else.” “Please, Sweetie Belle. Please don’t do this,” Twilight pleaded. “You’re my only daughter, I—” “I’m sorry, Twilight, I’ve made my decision.” I can’t let her sway my decision; I can not allow myself to entertain self-doubt now. I feel her warmth as Luna sits next to me. “Tis a brave choice you have made. Come sister, Twilight.” Luna motioned for them to sit with us. “Do not fear, Sweetie Belle, we will stay with you.” I lay there encircled by the three princesses. The sounds of the ball behind me have faded. The lights of the chandeliers have dimmed. I watch as the stars wink out of existence. The moonlight fades, and the warmth from Celestia, Twilight and Luna disappear. All light is gone. I am alone. I feel cold. I feel lethargy. My eyelids feel as though they are the weight of a million suns. Is this what it feels like to die? I close my eyes, ready to sleep. At last. A warm brush of fur against my cheek, drying my eyes. “Sweetie Belle‽ You’ve finally made it!”
