Silicon and Fur: A Remembrance of Equestria

“I was wondering when you’d get here.”

I’d stepped into the old dining hall to be greeted by a dragon, standing on all fours, two and a half ponies tall. His wings folded back against his barrel; his purple scales gleaming as if freshly polished; his green fins sharpened. Rows of glistening, razor like teeth.

A warm, friendly smile. Just as handsome as that night.

“Hey Spike.” I looked around the room. Gone, the regal table where we’d once sat, worn away by the winds of time.

An awkward silence echoed between the two of us.

“So,” the dragon scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah…” I couldn’t help reply.

‘Why am I remembering this?’

“So, why are you thinking about this memory?” the dragon asked.

‘Augh!’

“I finally worked up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then what?” I’d long since removed the redundant functionality of heat dispersion through my face; though the anger was still remained. “We have a wonderful night, you’re the perfect gentleman…”

“I’m sorry Sweetie Belle, I really am.”

“You go and call me ‘Rarity’ when you kissed me goodnight!” I stamp my hoof, which reverberates around the room with a clang.

“I’m sorry, I just missed her so much,” Spike sighed, sinking low as he could (which was still considerably taller than me). “I should never have used you as a replacement.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I huffed loudly. “Can we just drop it?”

“I still think six hundred and sixty eight years was a long time to hold a grudge.” Spike grumbled. I knew he was right, he wouldn’t disagree with me if I didn’t at least believe it deep down.

I can’t help but laugh, as a smile creeps its way across my muzzle. “Well, I’d grown in that time, I guess. And you did too, even if only in size.”

“I’m still glad you came, I really am.” Spike looked forlorn. “I didn’t have a lot of friends left to celebrate my eight hundredth birthday with.”

“No, we didn’t.”

Silence fills between us yet again.

He was my first crush… though it took the prodding of three princesses and one-hundred-and-twenty-three years to work up the courage to ask him out on a date. He’d been reluctant to agree, but Twilight had convinced him to try in the end.

Our friendship never really recovered after that, but at least I was able to reconcile before…

“I need to go.” I can’t even bring myself to look at Spike. Had I been more stubborn, had Twilight not forcefully teleported me to that party, I would have been too late.

I already was too late.

All those years, wasted on a stupid grudge. Why was I so stupid? An eight hundred year old foal!

“Sweetie Belle,” Spike reached a claw out towards me. “Don’t do this to yourself. We were both wrong, and at least you got to say…”

“‘Goodbye.’”

I can’t face him anymore. I run through the doorway at the other end of the room; my regret was too large to follow me.

I can’t cry, my tears evaporated [integer too large] years ago. Why was I programmed to feel pain in my chest when I hurt? It’s such a stupid, pony reaction. I don’t have a heart, I should not feel heartache.

“Heartache's what reminds us we’re all alive.”

“But I’m not alive,” I respond to the apparition.

“Now don’t y’all be talkin’ that nonsense!” Applebloom put a hoof on my shoulder. A warm gesture, devoid of the real warmth of touch. Noticing my discomfort, she quickly retracted it.

“But I’m not alive, Applebloom.” I slump to the floor. “I never was. I’m just a collection of electrical impulses, copper and silicon. I’m nothing but a facsimile of life.”

“Don’t try confuse me with yer fancy!” Applebloom waved her hoof through my head. “Darn it, y’all need a good smack on th’ head!”

“I’ve watched everypony grow, move on, die.” Why do I torture myself? “Yet I stay the same. I don’t grow, I don’t change. Twilight had to upgrade me so I didn’t look like a damned filly. I’m just… an appliance. A complicated, stupid appliance.”

“Y’all talked this nonsense with me before! Ah said it then, Ah’ll say it again.” Applebloom knelt to look me in the eyes. “Y’all don’t need to be flesh an’ blood to be alive. You were my best friend, and ya stuck with me for years. Y’all were an aunt to mah boys, and they loved ya. You sat with me until the end. Y’all were family, so you ain’t no appliance!”

“And y’all still really need a good smack on th’ head fer thinking it.” She laughs as I get back to my hooves.

“Now git! Y’all got a party to get to!”