Twilight Sparkle Buys Bread

by xCRAZYxFACEx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6970

Like it says, Twilight Sparkle buys bread. But nothing can ever be that simple, right?

Twilight Sparkle Buys Bread.

...Yes, that's the entire description. What, you want more?

...You're not going to leave until you're satisfied, are you? Fine.

Along the way, Twilight Sparkle battles cunning thieves, fast pegasi, Nightmare Moon, and even cupcakes! It's a journey you have to see to believe!

...Okay, not really. But there really are cupcakes, I swear.

Published 2013-08-02 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-02 19:10:02 UTC

An Odd Day

Twilight Sparkle rolled out of bed.

Thunk

Twilight Sparkle face planted into the ground. Groaning, she tried to stand up, only to realize her horn was stuck in the ground. Before she could even remove it, her blanket fell on top of her, covering her and blocking her vision.

“Great,” she mumbled under her sheets.

After a minute of blindly trying to remove her horn from the wooden floor, Twilight finally succeeded. Throwing her blanket off and feeling thoroughly awake now, she headed to the bathroom. She did all the things a pony normally does when they first get up in the morning; she brushed her teeth, took a shower, combed her mane, so on and so on.

When she stepped out, she felt slightly more awake. She walked down the stairs, passing Pinkie Pie, who was standing and grinning at her fixedly.

“Hey, Pinkie,” she yawned.

“Hiya Twilight!” came the pink mare’s ridiculously cheerful reply.

Twilight stepped into the kitchen, intent on getting her morning coffee before breakfast. She walked to the coffee pot with a mug. It took her a moment to realize that no coffee was in the pot, nor was there the smell of roasting beans. She blinked blearily.

“Huh. Normally Spike has the coffee ready to go in the morning.”

Shrugging, Twilight set about making coffee. Once the coffee pot was set, Twilight moved on to making breakfast just how she liked it: hay cereal with two slices of buttered toast. She set up the cereal and set it on the table, where Pinkie was sitting.

“Hey, Twilight? Mind giving me some coffee too?”

“Um. Yeah... just gimme a sec...”

Twenty seconds later, both mares were sitting at the table with a hot mug of joe. Twilight savored the aroma of the coffee, slowly slipping the delicious substance. “Mmm...”

“Twi? Twi, can I have another cup?”

She looked across the table and noticed that Pinkie had already finished her drink. Twilight slowly nodded, wondering how she drank it so quickly. “Uh, sure. Lemme just get the toast going.”

Twilight tottered over to the pantry and opened the bread cabinet. Unfortunately for Twilight’s belly, the cabinet could only have been emptier if a parasprite had licked the interior clean.

Needless to say, Twilight would not be getting her toast that morning.

Twilight Sparkle walked back to the table, utterly confused as to why there was no bread in the pantry. It just didn’t make any sense.

“Hey, Twilight? Twiii~? Coffee? Please?” Pinkie poked Twilight on the horn, adamant on getting her second cup of joe.

Twilight stared at the table for a second longer. She looked up. “Pinkie, do you know what happened to the bread?” she asked her friend.

Pinkie Pie had already stood up and walked across the kitchen. “No. How would I know where the bread is, silly goose?” she called from the coffee machine.

Twilight nodded - she did have a point.

“Right. Sorry. Silly of me to ask.”

“M-hmm!” Pinkie hummed, sitting back at the table with her second mug of coffee.

Twilight stared at Pinkie for a moment, as if about to stumble upon a great epiphany. There was a click in the back of Twilight’s mind.

“Hey, Pinkie? What are you doing in my house?”

Pinkie shrugged, sipping some coffee before replying, “I just wanted to come over, so I did!” She smiled cheerfully.

Twilight just looked at Pinkie passively. She took another sip of her coffee.

“Okay. Hey, I need to buy some bread. Want to come along?”

“Sure! Got nothin’ else to do!”

“Good. Let me grab my bag and we can go.”

“Oki doki!”

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie trotted through the town of Ponyville, set on going to the store and buying bread. By this point, the caffeine in Twilight kicked in, and she felt much more alive and awake than she had minutes before.

By the same token, Pinkie Pie had gone from ‘overly cheerful morning pony’, to ‘Pinkie Pie on a normal day’. She was hopping down the street merrily, and was refraining from breaking out into song solely because it would delay Twilight getting her toast, which would make Twilight upset, and Pinkie wasn’t the sort of pony to make her friends upset without good reason. Toast notwithstanding.

Nonetheless, the two friends walked down the street to the store. As it would happen, they crossed paths with Applejack, who was pulling her apple cart into town. Twilight approached the orange mare, glad to see another friend. “Hey Applejack. How are you doing?”

Applejack glanced sideways and grinned. “Just fine, sugarcube. Pulling the old cart here into town to sell some apples. Same as usual, ya know?”

Twilight smiled and nodded. Pinkie Pie jumped up and down from behind Twilight, trying to catch her fellow earth pony’s attention. “AJ! Ooh, ooh, AJ! Hi!”

The farmer pony chuckled and shook her head. “I can see ya fine, Pinkie. Good morning to you, too.”

Pinkie stopped bouncing and smiled contently, walking alongside Twilight with a spring in her step. Applejack looked at the pair, a crease forming on her brow.

“Now, it’s not like I don’t appreciate you two walking with me, but what are ya doing up so early in the morning? Normally only Fluttershy is up and about right now.”

“Well, I found out I didn’t have any bread,” Twilight replied. “I’m going to the store to buy some, and then make some toast. As for Pinkie... um-”

“I’m here because it’s fun!” the hyperactive pony suddenly interrupted. “Nothing’s going on, so what beats helping a friend get her breakfast? Nothing, obviously!”

Applejack looked at Pinkie Pie curiously while Twilight grinned awkwardly, eventually saying, “Right. Well, AJ, the road to the grocery store splits off here, so I guess we’ll see you later.”

“Alright. See ya’ll later!”

“Bye AJ!!” Pinkie said with her usual enthusiasm.

Twilight and Pinkie split off from Applejack, moving on to their own destination. Only a minute passed before Twilight heard something unexpected.

“PSSSST!! Twi, Pinkie! Over here!”

Said mares looked over their shoulder, looking to see who had called them. Strangely, there was no pony there that looked at them. Twilight frowned, wondering if she had heard wrong, before she saw Rainbow Dash’s head pop out from behind a stall. Rainbow looked around before waving them over with a hoof.

Twilight and Pinkie Pie complied with Rainbow, who was seemed to be a combination of nervous and excited. Twilight spoke up when they approached. “Rainbow? What’s going on? Why are you hiding behind Carrot Top’s stand?”

“Oh, well-”

“Ahem.” Carrot Top was glaring at Rainbow Dash, silently telling her to get lost. The cyan mare complied sheepishly, nervously chuckling as she stepped onto the street.

“Alright girls, I sorta... well, I wanted to ask for your help,” Dash continued.

Twilight cocked her head sideways, confused. “Help? With what?”

“I want to pull a prank on Applejack - take a couple of her apples, then eat them in front of her face while she sets up for the day. The look on her face will be priceless!”

Twilight looked at Dash with a blank expression. “So, you want me to help you.”

“Yeah!”

“To steal apples.”

“Um, well, ‘steal’ is kind of a harsh word...”

“From one of our hardest working friends?”

“Uh... well, it’s only a few apples! It’s not like we’re stealing an entire tree from her farm!”

“Ugh!” Twilight exclaimed. She brought a hoof to her face. “Pinkie, can you explain to Rainbow here why that’s wrong?”

“Hmm....” Pinkie scrunched her face up, as if making a very hard decision. Several seconds ticked past as she thought. Twilight wondered what was taking her so long when-

“Nope!” she finally replied.

Twilight regarded Pinkie with disbelief. “Wait, what?”

“Nope!” Pinkie repeated. “I think I’ll be back in a few minutes, see ya crazy mares later!” Pinkie was immediately bouncing down the street, leaving Twilight and Rainbow alone on the street.

Twilight gritted her teeth. “Great. Anyways, I’m not helping you-” she pointed at Rainbow- “steal any apples from Applejack!”

Rainbow Dash just laughed. “Hahahaha! Wow Twilight, you’re taking this seriously! Well, I’m off - sorry to hear you won’t help, but I don’t need it that much.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“See ya!”

Before Twilight could move to stop Rainbow, the cyan pegasus had already flown off, presumably to plan her approach on Applejack’s cart. “She isn’t setting a single hoof on Applejack’s cart,” she grumbled, walking back down the street to find Applejack.

Twilight followed Applejack from a discrete distance, watching for any sign of a rainbow trail. She didn’t have to wait long.

Rainbow Dash soared in easily, expecting to make a quick fly-by and grab a few apples. What she didn’t expect, however, was for Twilight to create a magical stop sign, which Rainbow Dash promptly crashed into. Twilight found it difficult to suppress her giggle, while Rainbow shot the unicorn a glare as she dusted herself off from the crash. The pegasus took off, retreating to make another approach.

About a minute later, Twilight saw movement on the rooftops. She saw a mare running along the rooftops, dressed in a black bodysuit. Of course, there was no mistaking the multi-colored tail popping out from the suit.

Twilight watched as her determined friend approached the cart, then jumped and dived. With her horn lit, the unicorn teleported Rainbow Dash - who appeared a few feet in front of her. With her momentum completely killed, Rainbow couldn’t react in time to the teleport, and she plopped straight down onto her face.

“Ow...” Rainbow mumbled. She quickly recovered, leaving the now useless suit behind as she took off.

After several more minutes, Twilight wondered if Rainbow Dash had given up. “No, that’s not quite like her,” Twilight mumbled to herself. Applejack was approaching the marketplace where all the stalls sold their goods. Rainbow Dash had at most a minute to pull off her prank.

There was loud crack in the sky above. Twilight looked up, and paled when she saw a cone of air pointed straight down on a collision course with the apple cart.

“No, there is no way she would do something that stupid. There is just-”

There was a loud crack up above, and a large rainbow spread across the sky. There was a rainbow trail flying at an astronomical velocity to the ground.

“Oh sweet Celestia, she is!! Oh no, no no no no nononononono-!!!”

Twilight feverishly looked around, thinking of a way to stop Rainbow Dash. She glanced up, and an idea popped into her head. With her horn lit, she created a large magical spider web that spanned the entire street. It wobbled as the bright trail of light approached.

Rainbow hit the web, slowing down dramatically. Her momentum kept her going down, slowly approaching the cart. The mare reached out with a hoof, trying to grab an apple. Closer and closer she approached, almost in reaching distance-

Her hoof touched an apple. Then, the magical webbing recoiled, sending Rainbow bouncing up and down in its sticky embrace. When she found her bearings again, Rainbow tried to bring the apple up to her mouth, only to find that her entire body was immobilized. She had been stopped literally inches short of completing her goal, and her frustration showed.

“Erghh... Aah! Twilight, cut it out! Get me down already!”

Twilight grinned sheepishly at her friend. “Aah... right. Well, I can’t really dispel it... it fades after ten minutes or so...”

Rainbow glared at Twilight, still bobbing in midair. “WHAT!? Are you kidding me!? Errggg!! Just cut me down already!”

Twilight, still failing at keeping a poker face, magically ripped out the webbing from the sides of the buildings. Rainbow Dash was on the ground now - although the webbing was even more firmly attached to her. Twilight sighed as she stepped forward, her horn already lit. “Calm down, Rainbow. It’ll take a few minutes, but I think I can cut through the string. Just keep still.”

“Hmmf!” Rainbow snorted, though she did stop fidgeting.

Just as Twilight started to carefully cut the webbing, pink hooves barged in and lifted Rainbow up.

“Hey, what the-!?” Rainbow cried out.

“Hi Twilight!” Pinkie Pie cheerfully exclaimed. “I need Dashy here for a few minutes, so I’m just gonna go ahead and take her! Hope you don’t mind!”

Twilight simply stared at her pink, preposterous friend. “What?” came her belated reply, as Pinkie rapidly trotted down the road, Rainbow Dash stiff on her back. “Wait, Pinkie! Wha- What are you doing!?”

“Oh relax, you!” Pinkie called back. “I’ll cut the web, don’t worry! Besides, this is an emergency, and I need Dashy right this instant!”

The two rounded a corner, Rainbow Dash and Twilight sharing an incredulous look before their line of sight was broken. Suddenly, there was a voice right next to Twilight.

“Huh. That was weird.”

Twilight jumped a foot before sighing in relief. “Eek! Oh, Applejack, it’s you. Whoo, okay, please do not scare me like that!”

Applejack chuckled. “Heh, sure thing, Twi. But, mind if I ask why Pinks just hauled off Rainbow Dash like a hog?”

“Erm, I think she said she needs Dash’s help for something?”

“Oh. Alrighty then. Just finished setting up the cart, by the way. Funny thing, too - I was expecting Rainbow to be sitting there, eating one of my apples and gloating like she normally does.”

“Wait, she does that everyday?”

“Not everyday, but often enough that I expect it. Can’t figure out how she does it, either,” Applejack said, scratching her head at the same time.

“So you didn’t hear any of that?”

“Any o’ what?”

“Rainbow flying around, almost crashing into her cart, her sonic rainboom?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Twi, I think I would’a seen a giant rainbow in the sky, or even heard it. It’s loud, ya know?”

Twilight grabbed her friend’s chin with a hoof and made her look upwards. The remains of the sonic rainboom could be seen as clear as day.

Applejack frowned. “Huh. Would ya look at that.” She looked back down at Twilight. “When did that happen?”

The unicorn almost punched herself as she brought a hoof to her face in disbelief. “Ugh, not even two minutes ago, AJ. Actually, you know what? I think I’ll just keep going. I still need to buy groceries.”

With that, Twilight made her way back down the street to take the turn back to the store, leaving her oblivious friend staring at the sky in wonder.

Continuing her walk down the street, Twilight was feeling optimistic about reaching the store as it opened. Unfortunately, a scream from across the town caught her attention.

“That was Rarity!” Twilight realized, and immediately set off for the Carousel Boutique.

Once she arrived, she knocked on the door, yelling, “Rarity, are you alright!?”

“Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!!”

Twilight groaned internally. “...Umm, Rarity? Is something wrong?” Twilight was getting the suspicion that nothing was actually wrong. But then the door flew open as Rarity collapsed onto Twilight, who grunted in surprise.

“Of course something’s wrong! Fluttershy had to care for her sick bunny, and now she won’t be able to model for me! Oh, this’ll throw my entire schedule off track! I’ll be lucky to finish any orders at this rate!” Rarity sobbed into Twilight’s shoulder.

Internally, Twilight’s better judgement was battling the sympathy she had for her friend. Her sympathy won out.

“Umm... I guess I could help. Would I do as a model-”

Rarity dragged her poor friend in before she could finish her sentence. “Why yes, of course, darling! How kind of you to offer!” The door closed shut, the lock clicking. Rarity simply giggled as Twilight feebly protested.

Several minutes later, Twilight found herself standing still for Rarity, who was rifling through her cloth and extra dresses. Occasionally, she would pause and bring a hoof up to her chin, tapping it in thought.

“It needs... to contrast...” Rarity mumbled. She held up several pieces of cloth, dropping some and picking up others. In the end, she held three pieces of cloth - one purple, one green, and one yellow. Rarity snorted.

“Hmmph. This won’t do - not at all.”

She began rifling through her cloth again, but stopped after only a minute. Rarity groaned and rubbed her temple with her hooves, as if assuaging a headache. “Not green... but, it needs contrast...”

Twilight looked on with curiosity as Rarity came up with the same three pieces of cloth again. Again, she threw them off to the side.

“Hey, Rarity?” she asked.

Rarity continued to rummage through her store of cloth as she replied, “Yes?”

“Um... What exactly are you doing?” Twilight inquired.

“Hmm... I’m trying to make dress that contrasts nicely with your coat, but all I’m coming up with is green and yellow...” she said matter-of-factly, as if it were a problem she was still working out.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong? Everything! Green is such a... such a grotesque color, and yellow simply strains the eye! If I make a dress like that for you, it will look horrendous! I need something different.”

Twilight frowned. “Hey, didn’t you make a yellow dress for my birthday? What something wrong with that? Because I thought it was perfect!”

Rarity smiled forcibly as she faced Twilight. “Oh, uh, of course it was, darling. It’s just for this one, I want to make it more than one color, and yellow and green clash quite a bit.”

There was a small pause of silence as Rarity continued shuffling pieces of cloth in a fruitless search. Rarity finally broke the silence again. “Like I said, I want contrast, but I need something other than green and yellow. I need a combination that will both complement and contrast with your coat.”

Twilight relented, enduring another round of Rarity comparing different color sheets. The result was the same; she ended with the three cut pieces of cloth.

Twilight huffed, wanting to leave and get her breakfast. “Rarity, please, let me help you. What’s the problem? Is it something I can fix?”

Rarity sighed and shook her head. “No, darling, I’m afraid not. It’s a problem with the fundamental properties of the world, clashing with my own desires...”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow Rarity, what you just said was kind of deep. But, I still don’t quite understand what the problem is.”

The fashionista shook her head distractedly, comparing other combinations of colors with the purple cloth. “Trust me darling, it’s just the palette choices. It’s a tad difficult to work with. But, I’m starting to think that there isn’t much I can do at this point, unless I-” Rarity shuddered. “Unless I make you a green and yellow dress.”

“Aaaaaand.....” Twilight asked, implying her question.

Rarity scoffed. “And it’s not like I will mix green, yellow and purple into one dress. That would be horrendous!”

“So... what you’re saying is, you can’t use me as a model?” Twilight said, a hopeful smile growing on her face.

“Oh, quite to the contrary, darling!” Rarity said, her back facing Twilight while she searched for more cloth. “But, in this case, going for a triad color scheme is simply... bad.” Rarity finished, and turned around to see a confused expression on Twilight’s face. “Oh, I’m doing a terrible job of explaining it...”

“Not enough colors?”

“No, no...”

“Perhaps we should get better lighting in here?”

“No, it’s not a problem with the lights-”

“What about going all white, or all black with the cloth?”

“Wha-? No! No, dear, it’s just...”

Twilight looked on with questioning eyes.

Rarity gulped, trying to choose her next words carefully. What she ended up saying was “...You’re just too purple, is what it is.”

Twilight stared at her friend in shock. Her mind was replaying the sentence over and over again, making sure it heard what it heard. She finally squeaked out, “...Excuse me?” Before Rarity replied, she was already stepping over the mounds of cloth the fashionista had left everywhere.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry, I put it the wrong way! Let me - no, Twilight, please don’t leave! I have it! I can use jewels, maybe distract others from seeing the green! Just don’t shut the door-!”

Continuing her march to the grocery store, Twilight’s frustration grew, hoping there wouldn’t be any more interruptions with her plan. Of course, with a plan as simple as ‘buy bread’, it would-

“Hiya Twilight!”

Twilight froze up, so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice Pinkie Pie sneak up on her.

“Oh, Pinkie. Hi. Come on, I still need to buy bread.”

“Ooh, I have bread at Sugarcube corner! And cupcakes. Actually, that’s why I came looking for you in the first place - I want to show you the cupcakes me and Dashie made!”

Twilight had stopped listening at the word ‘bread’. “Wait, you have bread? Why didn’t you just say so!?”

“Cuz you didn’t ask me for any, silly! I work in a bakery, you know!”

Twilight face hoofed. “Okay, okay. Let’s go so I can finish my breakfast. Then we’ll have some cupcakes.”

Pinkie cheered as the two walked to in the opposite direction, away from the grocery store down the street. A pit grew in Twilight’s stomach, who felt just the slightest bit uneasy.

Several minutes later, the pair arrived at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie turned around, her face a bit more serious than usual. She held a hoof out, making sure Twilight didn’t head in too soon. “Okay, I need to head on back to the kitchen - there’s still a few last minute touches I have to make. Just walk in - it’ll all be ready in a minute.” Before Twilight could respond, Pinkie walked around the building, presumably to the back door.

“That was weird...” Twilight muttered under her breath.

Pushing open the door, Twilight noticed that the interior was pitch black. “Pinkie? The lights are off.” There was no response. The pit in Twilight’s belly grew. Her voice trembled with unexpected fear.

“Hello? Pinkie? Mrs. Cake? Anyone?”

“Hey there, Twilight.”

“Oh my goodness, Rainbow! Wait - why are you in here?”

“...Because Pinkie dragged me off and made me help her? Did you completely space out back there? Twi, you gotta listen to me: those books you read all day make you forget the important things in life. Like me!”

Twilight groaned. “Rainbow, please. I forgot for a moment. Just - urgh.” Twilight rubbed her forehead with a hoof in irritation. “Anyways, what did you help Pinkie make? A new kind of cupcake?”

“Yup! Pinkie and I were trying to make glow in the dark frosting for cupcakes. ‘Course, they aren’t quite done yet. Here, let me get the lights.”

The lights flicked on. Rainbow Dash was standing behind the counter, her hoof near the light switch. She stretched and yawned, evidently just awoken from a nap.

Twilight sighed, putting her irrational fears to rest. “Thanks. It’s a pain not being able to see anything.”

Rainbow nodded sagely. “I understand. It’s also a pain to not be able to move a single inch of your body for ten minutes.”

“Ooh, right... Rainbow Dash, I am so sorry for-”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Rainbow said, waving a hoof dismissively. “We took it a bit far, anyways. Of course, I’ll just have to get AJ tomorrow.”

Before Twilight could respond, there was a loud whisper from the other side of the door. “Psst! Rainbow! The cupcakes are ready, turn off the lights!”

Both of the mares outside the door shrugged before Rainbow turned off the lights again. The door creaked open, and several floating blobs glowed in the dark.

“Are those the cupcakes?” Twilight asked.

“Yep!” Pinkie replied. “Took me all morning, and some testing with Dashy, but I did it! Glow in the dark cupcakes!”

Twilight flinched when the lights came on again. Pinkie had set the tray down so quietly, that she hadn’t even been aware of the pink mare approaching her. With the lights back on, Twilight could see her standing inches away from her face, an absurdly large grin on her face that held an intimidating knife.

Twilight couldn’t help but lean away ever so slightly. “Umm... hi, Pinkie. So, uh, what’s the knife for, exactly?” she said, a pained grin on her face.

Pinkie turned around, then used the knife to carefully prod the foil out from the sides of the cupcakes. “E’rm ursing it t’ terk erway th’ phoil!” Even with the knife in her mouth, Pinkie’s happiness was clear a glass. Soon enough, Pinkie set the knife down and passed out cupcakes to both of her friends.

“So Pinkie,” Twilight started, munching on the strange delight she was given, “how did you make them glow in the dark?”

Pinkie shook her head. “‘Fraid I can’t say, Twilight! A good baker never reveals her secrets!”

Twilight shrugged, then asked, “Oh, by the way, do you have that bread you mentioned?”

“Yup!”

A moment later, Pinkie dumped a bag of mix in front of Twilight.

“Umm.... Pinkie?”

“Yes?”

“This is cupcake batter...”

“It sure is!”

“Where’s the bread? You know, the pre-sliced stuff you make toast out of?”

“Hmm? Why would we sell that here? This is a bakery, not a grocery store. What made you think we’d have white bread?”

“I, but you said it - why did, you just.... ARRRGGHHH!!”

Continuing her toilsome trek for bread, Twilight could only grumble while Pinkie happily bounced alongside her. While the cupcakes had been delicious, there was no denying that Pinkie had wasted a good portion of Twilight’s morning. Rainbow had left before the unicorn could ask for her help, and so she was stuck with having Pinkie Pie help her go to the grocery store. With how the day had been going so far, Twilight pessimistically thought she’d be lucky to reach the store before noontime.

And so it was that the two mares walked down the street, one morose and frustrated, the other happy and carefree.

Then Twilight felt something bump into her. Looking to her left, she saw a hooded pony rush past her, black cloth obscuring any way of identifying him or her. “Hey!” Twilight shouted. “Watch where you’re going!”

While Twilight vented some of her frustration, Pinkie stared at the fleeing form worryingly. “Um, Twi? You might want to chase after that pony.”

“Why?”

“There’s a bitbag in his mouth.”

Twilight checked her side - sure enough, that pony had snatched her purse. “THIEF!” She screeched, running down the street and lighting up her horn. Pinkie giggled and hopped after her friend, humming a merry tune.

Twilight chased the thief, occasionally teleporting several feet in an attempt to catch up. The pony, which Twilight realized was quite small, seemed to have an easy time dodging her and gaining distance. Furthermore, the thief’s smaller size lent him greater mobility - all of which to say, Twilight was having a hard time keeping up.

The chase went on for a small eternity, crossing the majority of the town and going down the road to Sweet Apple Acres. The distance between Twilight and the thief was significant by the time they started running through the orchards, and it took only minutes for the thief to finally elude her pursuers.

Twilight skidded to a halt, panting, not sure which way to turn to find the thief. Pinkie Pie caught up a second later, still bouncing across the dirt with a cheerful expression. “Hey Twilight! You catch the thief?”

Twilight looked over the area one last time before grunting in exasperation. “Grrrr! No, Pinkie, he got away! I don’t even know what direction I should go now, and my money’s gone, so now I can’t buy my bread!” Twilight plopped onto the ground, wishing she could just crawl into bed and redo her day.

Pinkie simply stared through one of the trees, a hoof on her chin and an oddly pensive expression on her face. “...Well, we could always try to visit the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Their treehouse isn’t too far away, so, they may have seen the thief.”

Twilight looked up in surprise. “Huh. Wow. That’s actually a good idea, Pinkie. Nice thinking.”

Soon enough, Twilight and Pinkie were approaching the treehouse that the energetic trio were known to use. Twilight walked up first, opening the door. “Hi, my little ponies. Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen-” Twilight stopped mid sentence.

Scootaloo was to Twilight’s left, lying on a couch. She looked at Twilight curiously.

Applebloom was dead ahead of Twilight, and she was sitting behind what looked like a small forge. She lifted up her goggles, her face blackened by soot. “Oh. Um, hi Twilight.” Twilight ignored her.

Sweetie Belle was to Twilight’s right. She was at a table with a bag, evidently counting out a small pile of bits in front of her. Her eyes were glued to Twilight, who was currently frowning very hard.

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She let it out. “Okay. Now, why does Sweetie Belle have a pile of bits and a bag that looks very much like the one I lost fifteen minutes ago?”

“We were tryin’ to find our cutie marks! We’re tryin’ to be blacksmiths and mold gold!” Applebloom said from behind the glowing forge, a hammer in her hoof.

“And you need bits to do that?”

“Big Mac uses all the iron and metal we have on the farm, keeping his plow repaired. I asked him for some, but he said no. I asked Applejack for bits, so we could try it with gold, but she said no too! So, uh... we didn’t really know what to do!”

“So you had Sweetie Belle steal bits from random ponies around town?”

“Well, no...”

Sweetie Belle was still staring mutely at Twilight, fear completely evident in her eyes. Twilight sighed. “Well, it looks to me like she did. I’m actually surprised she managed it, she was running pretty fast.”

“Oh, please!” Scootaloo scoffed. “Sweetie didn’t do it, I did! As if she could outrun two grown mares.”

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Relax, Sweetie. It’s the truth, right? Besides, you don’t get the blame this way.”

Twilight coughed loudly. “Um, I don’t think that’s the problem here, girls.”

Sweetie Belle continued on undeterred. “Well, you don’t have to insult me for not doing it! Besides, it took me and Bloom here half an hour to convince you to do it!”

Scootaloo recoiled slightly, frowning at Sweetie Belle. “Nuh uh! I volunteered, right Bloom?”

“As I recall, you were bein’ awful quiet like,” Applebloom replied.

“Yeah! You didn’t even want to think about it!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Ugh... so? I still did it, didn’t I?”

“Oh face it already, Scoots, you were being a chicken!” Sweetie Belle mocked.

“Hey, don’t call me a chicken!” Scootaloo yelled, her face reddening.

“If you can insult me, I can do the same for you! Chicken!”

“I said, don’t call me a chick- SQUAWK!”

The treehouse was dead silent. Everyone was staring at Scootaloo, whose face was completely red and was holding her throat with a hoof. She coughed.

“...None of you heard that,” she mumbled raspily.

Twilight cleared her throat after an uncomfortable pause. “Ahem, right, may I have my bits and bag back? Please?”

Continuing her arduous adventure in search of a proper breakfast, Twilight plodded one hoof in front of the other, her mood extremely sour. After a moment, Pinkie Pie hopped alongside her, finally caught up.

“You told Rarity about what they were doing, right?” Twilight asked.

“Uh huh!” Pinkie replied. “She sounded kinda disappointed, but she went out there right after I left. You found Applejack?”

Twilight sighed. “Yeah. She was still at the market. She was about ready to run straight home, but she had the cart and all. Oh, but... Rainbow Dash?”

Pinkie snorted. “As if. We both agreed, Twilight!”

Twilight chuckled softly. “Right. She’d just laugh and give Scootaloo a hoof bump.”

They were silent after that, their goal finally in sight. Down the street they went, and Twilight could almost taste that buttered toast. Just... a bit... closer...

Thunder clapped in the sky. Twilight groaned. “Great. Rain.”

Pinkie poked Twilight in the side to get her attention, then pointed up. “Um, you might want to see this, Twi.” Her voice sounded worried.

Twilight looked up as asked, and gasped at what she saw. The clouds above were black, massive, and swirling right above them. The scene was ominous, and was punctuated by a flash of light and another clap of thunder. “What in the name of Celestia...”

The clouds lifted up, revealing a unmistakable outline flying down to the ground. Pinkie scratched her head in confusion. “Um, didn’t we defeat her, Twilight?”

Twilight shook her head in disbelief. “Y-Yes, we did... How did she come back?”

There was another clap of thunder as the figure landed.

“Hello, my faithful subjects... I believe it is time to permanently reintroduce the night, is it not?”

“Nightmare Moon! But, how!?”

The dark alicorn grinned. “Did you truly believe me defeated? I am but a concept given form, Twilight Sparkle. Even separate from your dear Princess, I possess more than enough power to enact my own will.”

Twilight gulped, taking a step back from the Nightmare. “Uh, Pinkie? I need you to run, find the others. We don’t stand a chance alone. I can hold her off for the moment, just-”

Before Twilight could stop her, Pinkie pulled out a large cake and threw it at Nightmare Moon. Twilight looked on in horror as the pastry struck the dark alicorn dead in the face. Bits of icing and cake fell off her face, her eyes opening in annoyance. “You foals...”

Nightmare Moon’s horn glowed, the cake sliding off her face. “Now then. I had intended to kill you quickly, but obviously that is too good for you. NOW, KNOW MY FULL POW- ack!”

Pinkie had thrown another cake while Nightmare Moon had been yelling. It hit her in the face again, but some of it had slid into her open mouth. She was choking. The alicorn raised a hoof to her throat, her eyes wide in surprise and panic.

Twilight looked on in a mixture of amazement and alarm. Pinkie giggled and bounced on her hooves in happiness. “Yay! We defeated Nightmare Moon!”

“P-Pinkie!! What did you do!?” Twilight screamed. She galloped forward with her horn lit, trying to magically remove the debris from Nightmare Moon’s throat. “We don’t want to kill her, just banish her again!” Nightmare Moon was swaying, her hoof on her throat as she tried to draw in breath. She started to look faint, and soon after she collapsed.

Twilight finally removed the debris and started performing CPR on the large alicorn. Pinkie looked on, her eyebrows furrowed. Minutes passed. Finally, Twilight leaned back and sighed. “She’s alive, but unconscious. Quickly, go to the Library and find Spike! Tell him to send Princess Celestia a letter, telling her Nightmare Moon is back and unconscious!”

“Um...”

“Go!”

Pinkie ran off down the street, back to Twilight’s library. Twilight looked back at the ground in front of her. Nightmare Moon was still there, breathing. The dark clouds had disappeared. It was still before noon.

“Huh. I can still get my bread, can’t I? It’ll be awhile before she wakes up.”

Twilight got up shakily, her body still in a rush from what had just happened. She stumbled into the store. She walked to the back of the store as all the ponies inside were gathered at the windows, looking at the fallen form of Nightmare Moon. Cake was still plastered all over her face.

“Here! Finally!” Twilight ran down the aisle, looking for the bread. She reached the end of it, thoroughly confused.

Every single shelf in the aisle was empty.

Twilight walked to the counter in a daze. She tapped the bell for service. A stallion working the store walked up. “Oh, Miss Sparkle! I don’t suppose you saw Nightmare Moon out there, right? Where are the other Elements?”

Twilight waved him off. “Look, she’ll be fine, whatever. Where’s the bread?”

“The... bread?”

“Yes, the bread. All of the bread in the aisles are gone. Nothing. Zip. Nadda. What gives?”

The stallion nodded sagely. “Right, right. Sorry, Miss Sparkle, but the earthquakes down in Hoofington are delaying shipments. We had a limited quantity, and other ponies bought our last supply this morning. It’ll be about two days before we get back on schedule. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Twilight could only stare at the stallion in disbelief. Slowly, she stepped away from the counter and back outside. There was a crowd waiting for her, clamoring for her attention, asking why the dark alicorn had returned. Her face was utterly blank; she had no response. Sorry for the inconvenience.

She walked down the street, walking past Nightmare Moon as the crowd gathered around the alicorn. Calls for Celestia, calls for the Elements rang out. Cries for help and justice were common place. One pony screamed, “The horror! The horror!”

Twilight paid no heed to the ponies that called out to her. Sorry for the inconvenience.

She made it halfway home before she ran into Pinkie again, who was out of breath. “Oh, Twilight! Twilight! Spike sent the message, and Celestia immediately replied! She’ll be here any minute!”

Twilight nodded carelessly, continuing to walk home. “Great. Okay. Head back down there, wait for Celestia, show her what happened.”

Pinkie caught up to her, matching her pace for a few seconds as she asked, “Wait, you’re not going with me?”

“No, no. I think I’ll just head home. I’ve had a long day... you know?” Twilight replied in an overtly dulcet tone.

“Um, sure, Twi. Guess I’ll see you later then!” Pinkie trotted back to the grocery store.

Twilight continued her slow gate to her home, feeling strangely calm for how outraged she should have felt. If she had the capacity for deep thought, she would have contemplated her current state and arrive at a single word to describe it: shocked. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Off in the distance, the murmur of a loud crowd cried out for answers as Princess Celestia arrived with her guards. Sirens were heard throughout the town, and strobe lights were pulsing light from the scene at the grocery store.

Twilight cared for none of this. She walked back into her house, shutting the door quietly behind her. She walked into the living room and simply sat on the couch. She stared at the ceiling.

No bread. Sorry for the inconvenience.

“Twilight? That you?” Spike called from the kitchen.

Twilight called back to her assistant. “Yeah, Spike. It’s me.”

“Good! So Celestia is dealing with Nightmare Moon right now?” The sound of crinkling bags could be heard from the kitchen.

“Yep.”

“Cool.” The fridge opened, then closed. Twilight sat up on the couch.

“Spike? What are you doing?” she asked. She stood up and walked to the kitchen doorway, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Just putting away some groceries is all. Why?”

Twilight reached the kitchen. A dozen or so bags littered the floor.

“What? How-?”

Spike stopped in the middle of shelving crackers in the pantry to look at Twilight. “I know what you’re thinking, and no. I asked Rainbow Dash to help me carry them back.”

Twilight shook her head in confusion. “Huh? N-No, I mean when did you do this? How come I didn’t see you walking around? Wait, I haven’t even seen you all morning!”

Spike closed the cabinet and shrugged. “I dunno. I went early this morning while you were still sleeping, and I got back, erm, maybe a half hour ago? I saw we didn’t have bread, so I figured I’d get some so you weren’t cranky all day.”

Twilight scoffed. “And I bet the clerk told you about the delays too, right?”

Spike shook his head. “Nope! I got there just in time, and bought the last two bags they had in stock! Lucky, huh?”

Twilight said nothing. Then, in a flash, the floodgates opened.

“WHAT!? I HAVE BEEN KILLING MYSELF ALL MORNING JUST TO GET TO THE STORE, LETTING MYSELF GET DISTRACTED BY RAINBOW DASH, RARITY, AND EVEN THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! AND YOU’RE TELLING ME I COULD HAVE STAYED IN BED, AND I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF THE TROUBLE, BECAUSE YOU ALREADY WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THE LAST LOAF OF BREAD!?”

Twilight was screaming and wailing all at the same time, her yells devolving into heavy sobs. She held her head in her hooves, sitting back in utter exhaustion and frustration. Spike looked on in surprise.

“Geeze Twi, calm down. It’s just toast.”

Twilight lifted her head up, glaring at Spike. Then all the fight disappeared, and she gave one final groan before letting herself roll forward and collapse on the floor.

Thunk

Only to have her horn embed itself in the wooden floor again. Twilight couldn’t even muster the strength to say anything; she merely sighed.

Spike held his hands behind his back, awkwardly waiting for Twilight to sit back up. When she made no movement to do so, he asked timidly,

“So... do you still want your toast or not?”

Author's Note

Thanks to Man Gell and GraveHaunter92 for prereading this for me! They made this story even better with their comments and recommendations, so shout out to them!