The word of Derp (one shot short story)
The word of Derp.
By Psuedonym (Menno Passant)
Hyfnae (Tim Zeevaarders)
And Sybke.
Verse 1: origin
It all began 9 years before Derp.
The winter was harsh and extremely cold. Snow locked ponies inside their homes and frost killed off most of the land’s vegetation. Resources were scarce, causing agitation and distrust among the ponies.
The Pegasus Ponies led by General Commander Hurricane took the blame for the harsh weather.
The Pegasi on their turn blamed one particular pony in their tribe: Derpy, as she was called.
The cross eyed, kind of clumsy Pegasus was blamed for the rough weather, as she had caused an irreversible chain reaction of cold, ice and winter with her clumsiness.
Famine struck swift and relentless amongst all 3 factions and soon enough the Pegasi decided to cut their losses and look for new land to inhabit.
Warmer, fertile and full of potential.
The Pegasi flew off, but the cold and the violent winds made it a hard journey.
Many didn’t reach the new lands and perished under the snow, never to be found again.
But Derpy persisted and followed them unnoticed until they struck a lush landscape perfect for them and their needs, an ideal place to settle, a new home.
All seemed right and peace returned for a month or so, until the other tribes arrived.
The same thing happened as in the old lands.
Distrust and disharmony soon fired up again amongst the different tribes.
At the day of midsummer, at least what was supposed to be midsummer, snow started to fall from the sky.
Harsh winds and ice once again reigned over the land of the ponies.
The clumsy little pony was blamed once again and her kin banished her to the Everfree forest.
Verse 2: banishment
In the middle of the day, when the sun hit the highest point in the sky, the light was still damp in the forest.
The moisture and the insects made it a harsh place to persist.
Derpy walked, wandered and flew around aimlessly.
No pony to be found in miles and miles, only the trees and animals roaming in the forest.
Most of the time Derpy meditated, philosophized about her surroundings and trying to survive in the rough environment.
Time crept by slowly and Derpy grew only a little older.
It has been 3 years now since Derpy Hooves was banished from her Pegasus tribe.
She built a pretty large camp, surrounded by a makeshift palisade in order to keep wildlife out.
She grew a few crops in a small open field, so she didn’t have to scavenge her food anymore or take risks of eating unknown and possible poisonous fruits of nature.
About 7 or 8 hours a day she spent meditating, achieving spiritual rest.
She also learned to listen to nature and empathize with her surrounding at a very deep level.
She grew a bond with the forest, her home… her forest.
It has been 8 years now since her banishment.
Derpy was barely able to talk the pony language anymore since she was deprived from any contact with her kind for so long.
This exact day, 8 years ago, she took the blame for causing freezing cold and harsh weather.
She flew through the air in hope to find some sort of civilization, as she did all this time up to now, but it came as no surprise it turned out like all her other attempts before.
She searched for a cloud to rest on, unaware of the events that were awaiting her.
Verse 3: enlightening illumination.
Her life as an outcast, which mainly consisted of meditating on clouds, was about to end. She sat, as per usual, quietly and tranquil floating over her forest on a fluff of cumulus.
Several hours passed and Derpy just sat on her cloud as darkness slowly fell over the forest.
Stars and the fireflies lit up the night like a swarm of tiny candles.
Derpy opened her eyes after being on her cloud meditating for hours now.
She was about to stand up when a bolt of lightning shot down from the sky and landed into the river below her.
Joined by a loud rumbling thunder, the river burst into flames.
The river of fire cut its way through her forest, as far as her eyes could see.
Derpy stood up on her cloud, watching the seemingly impossible spectacle.
She gazed upon the blaze, smitten and astonished.
For about 10 minutes the fire went on and on, as if it was fueled by the water.
The stars above her started to align in the shape of an arrow, pointing north over the river.
Derpy looked up to the stars and noticed the sign.
The river of fire split open along with the water, forming a path.
As Derpy neared the fiery river she couldn’t feel any heat.
Carefully she walked down the path.
It seemed to go on and on and on without an end.
For several hours she walked through the path of fire, while the stars above her were still pointing in the same direction when suddenly the river ended and she was out of the forest.
Never before had the little Pegasus left her forest and she was now standing in a somewhat hilly land.
Meadows reached as far as the eye could see.
‘Is this my destiny?’ Derpy wondered.
Dusk broke the darkness and the sun started to rise.
Derpy didn’t get the chance to sleep that night, she was exhausted but pressed on anyway.
Somehow the stars stayed visible, even during the day.
Pointing toward what appeared to be some kind of hill from the point Derpy was standing.
So she kept on walking, as she was too tired to fly now.
Verse 4: The rising.
Derpy stood in front of what she previously presumed to be a hill.
It was no little hill, but a huge mountain. The highest mountain in “her” land.
Looking up, she could now clearly see the stars were pointing to the very top of the mountain before her.
Even though she was tired beyond imagination, she tried to lift herself off the ground with her wings for she had no intention to start mountain climbing. Her wings were flapping, but her hooves stayed on the ground. Some mystical force was keeping her grounded. Mountain climbing it was…
The final ordeal, she hoped dearly after being exposed to the harshest conditions for the past 8 years now.
The mountain’s slope started off gently but the path got steeper the further she advanced, up until the point she had to climb a nearly vertical wall.
The higher she got, the more dangerous her journey became.
Cold, wind and snow were pummeling Derpy.
Not to mention the ice and slippery slopes she had to overcome.
It took the grey pony a full day of climbing before she got even close to the top.
One more steep wall of rocks and ice was the last obstacle standing between her and her goal, the top of the mountain.
The final climb, she hoped. … and it was.
On the top of the mountain there was a flat land.
It looked so unnaturally flat, it must have been flattened out artificially
Deprived of food, sleep and water, Derpy was a complete wreck when she arrived at the top.
Exhausted by the lack of sleep, the long journey and the rough climb, she collapsed right then and there.
After she slept for a full day, a bright illumination woke her from her sleep and the pony felt surrounded by a comfortable warmth.
Derpy looked around and laid her eyes upon the beautiful building which had appeared around her while she was sleeping.
‘Cathedrali Surrectus’ was written on an altar and under the big letters it said: ‘cathedral that emerged.’
Derpy felt certain powers filling up her body, gaining in strength with each second she was in the cathedral.
She stood up to take a look around, approaching the altar first. There she found a pile of clothes, a royal attire as she has never seen before.
A red velvet cloak and a crown made of pure gold, encrusted with the purest and finest gemstones.
And there was a staff, made of an unknown red metallic substance with on top a jewel covered muffin.
From that day forward , the muffin was the official symbol of Derp.
‘This will be my land, where I will rule.’ She spoke out loud inside the cathedral only to find she was still alone in this land.
The era of derp had arrived.
Verse 5: The true force.
Back to 7 years and 11 months before Derp.
‘Commander, the winter only got worst since we banished Derpy.’ spoke one of the Pegasi
The commander sighted: ‘how did she initiate this catastrophe so quickly?’
‘Do you still think she did this? Commander, please, if this goes on we’re all done for!’ shouted another Pegasus to his leader.
The commander answered with nothing but silence and the horde of Pegasi accumulated around him dissipated.
‘We have to fix this mess soon, or indeed we’re all going to freeze to death or worse.’ Thought the commander while silently staring to the raging blizzards.
The earth ponies refused to help them in any way.
They were starving and had no intention of sharing the little food they had left and the unicorns threatened to stop the cycle of day and night. The winged ones caused this mess, the winged ones had to fix it. But the Pegasi were hungry and needed food, they were prepared to take it from the other tribes by force.
Tension rose to the point of bursting.
The unicorn, the Pegasi and the earth ponies decided to gather for an emergency debate.
They met in the only neutral land between the 3 tribes, a cave in the middle of their territories.
It didn’t take long for their debate to overheat and they were at each other’s throats in no time.
Each of the 3 leaders had one servant with them, who were to stay out of the fight.
The temperature plummeted inside the cave and a magical kind of ice covered the wall, slowly creeping up to the fighting ponies who didn’t even notice the events happening around them.
Soon enough they were trapped in the ice, unable to move or speak anymore.
Fear overcame the differences among the servants and they huddled up in the center of the cave while they watched the creeping ice slowly approaching them.
‘This may be the last I speak. I am terribly sorry for everything, the commander forced me to do this…’ spoke the Pegasus servant.
The others stared at her and nodded in agreement. They received the same orders from their respective leaders.
At this very point, the three little ponies felt a tiny spark warm their hearts, a little spark of friendship. But their new found happiness was quickly disrupted by an eerie chill they felt in their bones.
The unicorn servant looked up and shrieked: ‘Windago mares!’
‘Windawhatnow?’ The others asked in unison.
‘W-windago Mares, c-creatures feeding on hatred and disharmony, f-f-freezing everyone causing it.’ Stuttered the horned pony, while pointing his hoof at 3 grim figures floating about in the cavern.
‘I’m so sorry! This is our fault, we should have just shared our food with every pony!” sobbed the earth pony.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ the winged servant tried to comfort her.
‘Yeah, we’re all to blame, every tribe…’ the unicorn added.
The 3 joined together in a hug, seeking comfort and warmth with each other when the creeping ice hit them. The ice was already slowly crawling up their hind legs when suddenly the unicorn’s servant horn started to glow brightly, shooting up a beam towards the Windago Mares. They let out an earsplitting screech when the light hit them and with a puff of smoke they vanished into thin air.
All that remained was a heart shaped fire, beating and radiating heat into the cavern, slowly melting the ice in which the other ponies were trapped.
The little servant ponies shared their tribes’ histories while they waited for their comrades and leader to defrost.
‘We banished a Pegasus to the Everfree forest since the commander thought she was behind the weather disaster, the poor thing, all alone out there…’ said the Pegasus servant.
‘Why did you do such thing,’ the earth pony asked.
‘Well… she wasn’t the brightest of Pegasus, we thought she was responsible for it all… twice ,’ she admitted.
‘We have to go out there and find her to redeem ourselves.’ A voice behind them startled the servant ponies. ‘I will handpick 16 of the best ponies and together we’ll search for little Derpy’ spoke commander Hurricane.
‘But first, my sincerest apologies to every pony and my greatest gratitude to you three. We were very egocentric and caused this mess, but you saw through our differences and saved us all’ said the commander.
The others nodded and they all joined for a hug.
Verse 6: Everlasting guilt.
The winter retreated and slowly the snow and ice melted away, making room for sunshine and warmth. The land was restored to the state it was in when they originally found it: green, peaceful and warm.
‘Love and tolerance’ was the new philosophy embraced by every pony.
Still, even though their peace and their home were restored, one thing wasn’t fixed yet.
One innocent pony, victim of the situation, was living in banishment in the Everfree forest.
Alone and rejected by her kind, they didn’t even know wether or not she was still alive.
6 years before Derp.
The commander held his promise and started his search operation to find the unfortunate grey pony and restore her honor in the tribe.
A team consisting of Pegasi, unicorn and earth ponies alike joined forces to find Derpy.
The 17 ponies head into the Everfree forest and found several camps build by pony hooves, undoubtedly Derpy’s hooves. But there was no sign of the little Pegasus herself anywhere.
For years, search parties were sent out into the forest on a quest… a quest of honor, to redeem themselves and most importantly, to find Derpy and bring her back to her tribe.
Time flew by and 6 years after the events a group of search ponies spotted mysterious signs in the sky.
Stars were aligned in an straight pattern, a bright single lightning bolt shot across the heavens when there wasn’t a single cloud in sight… it was a highly unusual incident.
The night skies were painted in a mystical orange hue where the lightning bolt had touched the earth. The ponies rushed there as fast as they could.
3 days it took them to venture to their goal. The river that once ran through the forest had gone dry but Derpy’s hoofmarks from 3 days ago were still fresh and visible in the soil.
The ponies followed the trail of hoof marks in the dry river.
By nightfall they too, reached the lush meadows Derpy saw first when she reached the land.
Following in the banished pony’s hoofprints made the others truly realize what they had done to her, the commander felt the most regret of them all. He couldn’t fight back his tears of remorse, his eyes welled up when he sobbed ‘What have we done... I’m so sorry Derpy’. His tears fell down and hit the grass at his hooves, shimmering in the light of stars like morning dew. The other ponies tried to comfort him, but couldn’t utter a single word for their own hearts were heavy with guilt.
A beam of concentrated light focused toward the 17 ponies.
It came from the mountain Derpy had just reached the top off.
Verse 7: The empire arises.
The 17 ponies that were on a quest to search for Derpy also had to climb the mountain without the use of magic or wings.
For them too, the climb was a physically heavy challenge. They were determined and persisting to reach the top and find their lost Pegasus.
After a long struggle to overcome the mountain, they never expected what they’d see there at the summit.
A huge cathedral built with the finest stone and gilded doors awaited them.
The ponies approached the majestic structure with caution.
The commander was about to lift his hoof to push open one of the giant doors when it swung open by itself.
There, in the doorway, stood little Derpy, the pony they had been looking for all this time.
She was wearing a regal attire of the most beautiful red velvet fabric with a gilded trim, the other ponies had never seen anything like it.
Even after those many years of banishment she didn’t hold a grudge against her kind, she understood why her tribe decided to throw her out.
‘Welcome commander, it has been a while,’ Derpy greeted them with a smile.
Derpy walked toward the group of ponies and somehow they knew they were in the presence of some pony special.
They bowed down as Derpy erupted an aura of light around her, radiating the purest light ever to be seen.
Then she spoke: ‘This is the land Terra Siderae, the land of stars as it would mean in the ancient language.’
The ponies just stood there, astonished and speechless.
They did not know how, they did not know why… but Derpy was blessed with a divine power surpassing every other pony ever.
‘We wish to…’ uttered the commander but he interrupted mid-sentence.
‘Thou wishes to learn my ways, my beliefs and uphold my vision?’ said Derpy.
The commander could do nothing but nod at Derpy for he was amazed by her powers.
The first steps towards an empire were set.
7 ponies went out to Equestia to spread the word of Derp.
The remaining 10 stayed with Derpy and devoted themselves to her ways, slowly gaining a small fragment of Derpy’s power over time.
Other ponies found the land of Derp, led there by the priests travelled the world and told every pony who would listen.
Derpy used her powers to stop the time in her land so the seasons wouldn’t change anymore, it was springtime forever in the land of stars.
Within a year, the first city was constructed. It was built inside the very mountain where Derpy has risen as a goddess.
Ponies worked hard to achieve the goals set to them… very hard.
They were proud of their work and the community kept growing and growing counting over 2000 ponies before the year ended.
Verse 8: Advancing for the good?
As time went by Derpy’s reign became tighter and tighter.
Accepting no misbehavior from any pony.
Every pony young and old had to work, build and help the cities to grow and evolve technologically.
After about 5 years a Unicorn invented and developed the first steam engine, a very crude, but inefficient piece of machinery which greatly revolutionized the way of life in Terra Siderae.
It ran on coal, there was plenty of coal since at least half of the mountain they carved out for the city consisted of it.
The steam engine was used to excavate more coal, carve out the mountain to make room for more living quarters as they were required for the ever growing population.
By now the 7 priest who went on a mission to spread the word of Derp had returned to their home.
They were leading the cathedral and studying further in the ways of Derp.
Derpy had changed from outcast to deity within the time space of one year.
She used her powers to aid the workers work fast and diligently, help the farmers grow crops and keep up the moral every needed to keep on going.
Even though her reign was considered harsh and strict at some points, she empathized with the civilians and never forgot her heritage.
The Civilian ponies did not object against Derpy, every pony was genuinely happy to live in Terra Siderae and to be part of its community.
Derpy declared the name of the city ‘Ducta Sideribus’ which meant guided by the stars in the ancient language.
15 years after Derp.
The technological advancement of the community had exploded beyond imagination.
Steam engines were a part of everyday life and were optimized to run on oil, rendering them more efficient than coal powered contraptions. Thousands and thousands of gears and gyros twisting and turning kept the city running. From steam powered carriages to a giant central heating system in the very center of the city. Everything became automated and steam powered.
Their technological advancement was far beyond any other pony community out there, the news of their ways and their inventions spread like wildfire across the world. Naturally the other ponies were curious and wanted to share in the success of Derpy’s empire, so it didn’t take long before several smaller settlements appeared right outside the city of Ducta Sideribus.
21 Years after Derp.
Derpy held her annual speech for all the ponies of Terra Siderae.
‘Dear fillies and gentlecolts. After many years of hard labor, advancing and evolving we have achieved a nearly perfect society. Hereby I relinquish some power to the 17 high priest, who may all rule one district now. And you ponies, inhabitants of Terra Siderae, can pick the fruits of thy labor, live free and listen to the ways of Derp.
Love and tolerance, or you will meet your faith at Discord’s plain.
If you live to the fullest, respect and honor the word of Derp, you will live on after thy physical life in the plane of Derp.
I will still be thy ruler, and I will uphold the laws.
But it is time for you to be free and enjoy life here in the city you built.’ Derpy stopped her speech there and the ponies cheered loudly for their liege.
Most ponies felt they were better and superior to the ponies outside their city.
Verse 9: the legend lives on.
Derpy sighted, ‘The ponies may count themselves lucky not seeing trough the matrix that conceals the true complexity of the universe.’ After a brief pause she said: ‘I have always been able to see it, I didn’t know how to handle it and that is the reason my eyes are crossed’ she carried on.
The former commander of the Pegasi approached Derpy, ‘My liege, thank you for what you did for us, my district is doing well, there’s wealth and prosperity for all. We are thriving and the ponies live happily together, obeying the word of Derp.’
Derpy said nothing but a wide smile she couldn’t suppress betrayed her feelings.
She was proud of what she and her subjects had accomplished with this land.
‘Thank you too Commander, banishing me was perhaps the best thing you could have done’ said Derpy.
Commander Hurricane could never really overcome his feelings of guilt, even though the grey Pegasus had forgiven him over and over again. This reminder of his actions made his deep regrets well up once again and the tough colt didn’t try to hide the tears he was shedding… again.
The community thrived for about century.
Derpy and the 17 High priests barely aged thanks the powers bestowed on them.
It is the year 121 after Derp, with Derpy still ruling as their semi-deity High Queen.
The customs and knowledge about their technology passed on from father to son and mother to daughter, upholding the traditions and keeping the word of Derp alive.
Derpy, though physically barely aging, did grow older mentally.
Derpy got tired, being constantly exposed to the full complexity of the universe. It was wearing her out.
One day she decided to write the following letter:
‘Dear ponies,
When you read this, I will be no more.
My end may be near, but I hope my legend and my ways, no, our ways live on.
Even if I’m not here anymore,e please carry on and persist as you’ve done for 140 years now.
Keep loving and tolerating each and every pony as you’ve done for many years now and always upkeep our high standards.
I trust my High priests to the fullest extend to take over the reign when I am gone.
Keep on living in peace and keep believing.
I wish you all the best and with my blessings of all you ponies I can go in peace now.
Yours sincerely, Derpy Hooves.
She rolled the scroll up and laid it down on the altar of the cathedral, which she had made her home for the last 140 years and where she welcomed every pony who wanted to learn about the word of Derp.
She sat down in her throne and mid-day approached.
Exactly this day, 140 years ago she first sat hoof on these grounds.
When the sun hit its highest point in the sky the mosaic on the ground lighted up by a very bright concentrated beam emerging from the sun.
The beam neared approached Derpy and as the beam hit Derpy she started to float.
She started to float not at her own power or by her wings.
A magical force drew her up, pulled her through the ceiling without leaving a trace.
And That was the end of Derpy Hooves, founder and ruler of many ponies settled in this technologically high advanced community.
Verse 10: Decimation
News soon spread of Derpy’s disappearance and within the first few months a lot of ponies thought Derpy had simply abandoned them.
She just left, leaving nothing but a single letter.
Upset ponies moved out of the settlements going back to Equestria, sometimes after being here for 4 generations already.
Derpy was soon forgot by most ponies and the word of Derp went with it.
Only the 17 High priests, still alive thanks to the power given to them by Derpy stayed loyal along with a very few who also believed Derpy was still watching over them.
Derpy watched from high above in her plane down on the disintegrating community.
140 years of hard word, preceded by 8 years of physical and mental challenging went down the drain within 2 years.
She also saw only very few stayed loyal and amongst them all 17 high priests.
She was touched by their loyalty and they lived happily for the next 200 years.
The other ponies who left, just lived their lives as if Derpy never existed.
Verse 11: The legend revives
Ponyville 700 years after Derp.
A newborn Pegasus pony and 2 proud parents.
Zecora the zebra pony living in the Everfree forest helped with the birth and what she saw astounded her.
‘what I see here must not make you grossed, but her eyes are slightly crossed.’
‘I only heard once of this, but the legend of her is still on my list.’
Zecora said on her rhyming ways as she always does.
The parents looked at her with questioning faces and asked zecora: ‘what do you mean, what legend do you speak about.’
Well listen here.
(…)
Zecora explained the entire history of Derp, since she was the last remaining of the high priests as she also explains.
‘This baby filly does remind me strong, of the likes of Derpy it might prolong’
With this newborn filly the Legend of Derpy might carry on, and inspire new generation to the word of Derpy.
Enlighten the path for all ponies alike, love and tolerance will once again be the philosophy.
But for now this is all that is known, and a new legend might be in the making.
This is the Word of Derp.
Credits:
Concept and idea - Pseudonym Menno Passant
Written by - Hyfnae Tim Zeevaarders
Image made by - Sybke
Editing - Sybke
