The Brunojack Chronicles

The dance was over. Applejack had walked home with Twilight. Bruno was originally going to walk home with Amazon but he knew Amazon would be..occupied with Rarity tonight so there was no chance of that.
Then two tiny brown paws covered Bruno's eyes.
“Don't move rottie until you tell me who you kissed tonight.”

“I should have known you were gonna be here tonight.” sighed Bruno
The paws belonged to a tiny brown bear dressed in patched up overalls with one strap. Bruzzles Holiday, the only friend who could annoy Bruno more than his best friend Amazon.
“Oh Darn Bruz the jig's up sweets!” said Blossom, Bruzzle's wife with a giggle . Blossom was a lavender Unicorn with a flower where the horn should have been. Blossom's mane was wispy white cotton, and always tangled like her tiny raggedy tail. Her left flank matched her forehead ,a pink daisy with a yellow center. She wore a white ribbon with an amethyst heart pendant. This was the gift Bruzzle's had proposed to her with.

Bruno loved the couple dearly but they were the most dramatic and craziest animals he had ever met even more so than Pinkie Pie and Rarity.

“Ok Bruno spill those juicy green beans! You are grinning like an idiot and Amazon's not available to do his job so crack open the can buckaroo!” crowed Bruzzles.
Bruno groaned. Of course Amazon had told these two to keep him posted.
Thank God Applejack wasn't here. Bruno would have died of embarrassment if she had been.

“Oh my gosh he is totally blushing!” sang Blossom with a gleeful expression.

“Grab that worm and feed it to us birds boy! We be hungry for the 411!” shouted Bruzzles startling the stragglers in the entry way.

“Walk with me and I'll tell you everything ok? Just stop embarrassing me here please. I have to go to school here guys.”

The couple exchanged a high five as they left the building. It looked comical considering Bruzzles is 4.5 and Blossom is a foot taller.

“Wahoo! We finally broke him baby!” said Bruzzles while waggling his eyebrows.

“How's about a victory kiss for my hunky champion?” whispered Blossom with a sly smile.
7 minutes later....
“Guys seriously knock it off! We are minutes away from Town Hall! Does that mean anything to you?!”

“Blossom..my flower..I think Bruno's put off by our sexy chemistry..again..we have to continue this later..” Bruzzle's mouth was twitching as he tried not to laugh.

But Bruzzles...I don't wanna..” whined Blossom with a pout on her face that was so compelling it should be illegal.

Bruzzles didn't back down.

“No babe,Bruno has to tell us about his love life. We can showcase ours later, when he is not around.” purred the bear with a sultry wink.
Blossom immediately untangled herself from her husband with a regretful sigh.

When Bruno finished telling them every detail Bruzzles said: “Oh my lord boy you are in L-O-V-E!”

Bruno blushed. “Shut up.” he mumbled.

Blossom however had a serious expression on her face.

“Honey where do you want to go with this? And more importantly since this pretty pony hasn't ever been in any item before what does she want?”

“I'm very happy with her. I think she is happy with me...I was just planning to let the chips fall as they may?” said Bruno with a wince at what he knew what was coming.
The terrible twosome had played him like a violin.

“Not on my watch Moon Pie!” growled Bruzzles with a wicked grin.

“And what do you suggest dear husband of mine?” giggled Blossom.

“Well I think this situation requires a plan of action my darling wife!”

Blossom smirked.
“Read my mind honey bear!”

Bruno growled and groaned in annoyance at his friends antics.

“Guys no! Please don't get involved! Please! I can handle my love life just fine ok?”

“Hmm? Really Bruno? I don't think you can actually! Said Bruzzles in a sing-song voice.

Blossom pulled out a chart.

“Well let's see your previous romantic history shall we?”

“Can I die now please?” grumbled Bruno to the sky.

“Sky? Total airhead with a cute middle school sweetheart that she dumped for you... A flighty freshmen with no ambition at all...Fantastic choice Bruno! Then she broke up with you at YOUR request to save her ex's feelings. She was a real catch huh?” said Bruzzles.

Blossom pulled out another chart and said: “ Um..ah yes Tundra..touchy jealous type but totally hot which completely overrules the fact that she's gay and tried to kill someone over the summer right? Wrong-O! Also small detail..she cheated on you with MANY girls before you two lovebirds broke up! ”

Bruno hit his head on a wall in frustration.
He had fallen right into their insane matchmaking trap!

“So?Neither of those relationships had anything to do with you guys!”

“Exactly my point dearie!” Exclaimed Blossom.

“We need to get this Ship rockin and rolling in the romantic ocean sweet pea! Cause clearly you can't!” said Bruzzles poking Bruno in the chest.

“Can I go home and let my head explode from your insanity in private please?”

“What you don't want to stay for the spinning of the plot?” whined Bruzzles.

“Yeah Bruno why not? You did a great job with Operation Flutterdash! Why not use the power to give yourself a hand in the romance department?” said Blossom with an innocent smile.

“No because even if I don't approve of your plot line, you're gonna do it anyway!”

Bruno took off running. There was only so much Blossom and Bruzzles one could take in one day let alone a few hours.

The crazy couple burst out laughing.
Blossom put away the charts.
“I love getting him all riled up.”

Bruzzles hugged her and stroked his wife's mane.
“And I love you baby. You are a wonderful sexy evil genius.”

Blossom smiled warmly and kissed him.

“How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“I ask myself the same thing everyday gorgeous.”

And so the aspiring evil matchmakers began spinning a plot line for Brunojack.