The Hacker Pwny

by Chetzi

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Gore
Length: 134393

A 19 year old hacker with a troubled past visits Equestria. Will he live there or bring it all down?

A 19 year old hacker has a troubled past. Will he find himself at peace in this new world? Or will he bring it all crashing down? Will his technologically superior mind keep him from getting killed? Will he ever find out why he's there, and who brought him there? How hard must he fight to keep going forward, to find the truth? Will he even want to know the truth once he finds out? Some truths are better left unknown.

This is an action/sci-fi/mystery/comedy story.

Published 2012-03-02 06:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-28 18:40:24 UTC

Chapter 2: Love songs

July 24, 2012 mid afternoon

While I followed Fluttershy around town, I was glad that there was no sign of that tree house. Yet. I was deep in thought about my current mess while the bright yellow pony kept quietly talking about things, even though I didn't really listen. Just then I heard a swooshing sound up above, it reminded me of military jets. Than I felt naked because I realized that I had no protection, no weapons, and worst of all, no computers.

"Hey! Fluttershy! Who's the new pony?" I first thought that the new pony was a guy about 12-14. Than I felt a gust of chilling wind pass me by as the voice landed near me. When I glanced up and saw a light blue pony that had wings but no horn like Fluttershy and also had... rainbow hair? What? Well at least now I know it was a girl. That reminds me, what does my hair look like? Snap out of it Dylan! This isn't the time to be admiring your pony hair. This is the time to be surviving. Fluttershy than spoke up.

"This is Neon Blaze, Rainbow Dash." The oddly colored pony replied to her by saying,

"Neon Blaze? Cool name!" She than turned to me and exclaimed, "Hey there! The names Rainbow Dash!" She extended her hoof clearly wanting me to shake it. While she held her hoof out, I remembered her from the memes. Shes lesbian or bi and she's called "da best pony" or at least that's what I knew from the Internet. I just stared at her hoping she would go away. I can't take anymore of this pony hell world.

"Can he speak?" Rainbow Dash blurted out, rudely.

"No, I can't speak" I retorted sarcastically.

"I'm loving the color of your hair, dude." The rainbow infested hair pony mentioned. Now I'm curious about my hair too. Than I got mad at myself because it's just hair and I refuse to get distracted by it. Because of the mindless distraction the rainbow pony gave me, I glared very intensely at her and she took a few steps back.

"uh, I have... some where to be! Bye!" And with that the sky blue pony flew up and dashed away at incredible speed. I looked around and noticed that Fluttershy was shaking clearly scared of my glare. I put on an indifferent expression again and slowly, she stopped shaking.

"W-well I guess we s-should continue the t-tour... if that's okay with you..."

"It's ok, lets keep going." We walked toward a tall building that I really couldn't describe.

"This is the carousel boutique. It's owned by Rarity." Hmm, Rarity... isn't that the pony bitch who is obsessed with clothes and gems and complains constantly? Just then the door opened and I saw a light blueish gray pony walk out. She had curly purple hair and was wearing reddish orange secretary glasses and had yellow tape measure around her neck.

"Oh, Fluttershy, I see you found a new pony. Do you mind introducing me?" The whitish pony has greeted me and Fluttershy with. Fluttershy began to open her mouth when I interrupted her by saying,

"I'll introduce myself. Call me Neon Blaze. And yes I'm new here."

"I just love those unique colors of yours and would love to create clothes that would match you perfectly." I suppose I should just let her do what she wants... for now.

"Okay, thanks for the offer and what is your name?"

"Call me Rarity, dear. Now, come on inside, we have a lot of work to do to design those clothes." Actually, I would rather avoid being stuck there for hours.

"Thanks but, I'm kinda busy right now. I'll come back later to try on clothes. Plus I have no money."

"It's okay, you need clothes and I would be more than happy to give you a free set." The generosity felt... Comforting. I haven't felt that emotion for so long. This kind of thing would never happen on earth.

"Okay, than I guess I'll see you later. Come on Fluttershy, let's see what else is in Ponyville." Fluttershy than starts to walk off while I followed her. We walked through the city not really saying much until we came into some kind of cartoony farm filled with apple trees that looked like a four year old drew them. Than I heard a loud slamming sound like hooves against wood. I looked toward the sound and found some orange pony with long blonde hair tied up in a pony(ironic much?) tail. She was wearing a cowboy hat and freckles... wow. This is just plain stereotyping. I maybe Texan, but I'm still a genius hacker. Fluttershy started to walk up the cowgirl(or cowpony? Ponygirl? Someone help me with this.) and motioned for me to follow.

"Howdy, there stranger." When I get the chance, I'm gonna fucking hack Hasbro's dick off. This bad stereotype Texan is insulting. "You can call me Applejack! So, what brings ya to these parts?" Already hating her from the start, I decided not to speak. In my place, Fluttershy spoke for me.

"This is Neon Blaze and he is a new pony here. I'm showing him around Ponyville." Why the fuck did I choose that name? I really should have thought about it more. It would have been at least funny if I named myself Gaylord_steambath69.

"Well, thank ya for bringing him to sweet apple acres. So than, Neon, how 'bout ya meet the rest of the apple family?" Knowing that it would require a lot of people to run a farm like this and I can't stand stereotypes, I will have to pass on this.

"No, I'm fine. Maybe another time. I have other places to be."

"Kay, than partner! See ya later!"

I then saw three small fillies running across the field behind us looking very determined. The first one I noticed had white skin and half pink half purple hair that was curly at the tip and looked like Cotton candy and she had a horn. The second one was yellow and had red hair with a lighter red bow tie on top of her and she had neither horn nor wings. The last one was orange with flowing purple hair and she had wings.

"Who are those three?" I asked both Fluttershy and Applejack. Before either could answer, I walked after them curious at what they were planing. Than I stopped dead in my tracks after only a few feet. Damn it Dylan! I shouldn't care about what they are doing. The sooner I get off this creepily colorful planet, the better. My hooves than shook rapidly almost mimicking the act of typing. I had withdraw from computers and haven't been able to program or do anything brain intensive since I've gotten here. Realizing that I will go crazy if I don't get out of here soon, I headed back to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, where should we go next?"

"Well, Pinkie pie loves to meet anypony so I think we should go visit her at Sugarcube corner... If that's okay with you..."

"Sugarcube corner it is. Lead the way." Fluttershy than walked out of apple acres while I followed. I did kinda like Pinkie Pie. Breaking the fourth wall was always funny and I enjoyed her randomness but I dislike people so that means I dislike parties. Well, this will be interesting. So for pretty much the whole walk, I was thinking about how to avoid having to go to a party with her. After thinking for a fairly long time, I think I came up with a good plan to get out of it. Then I smelled some really strong pastries, almost strong enough to knock me out, and assumed that it meant we are here. As Fluttershy opened the door and walked in, I followed her in and instantly turned about 3 shades whiter. There was Twilight. Oh fuck! I didn't plan for this! She noticed me and walked toward me. While she walked up to me, I was nervously sweating about what was going to happen. I had tons of stupid ideas ranging from pretend to be someone else to act like I didn't know her but I didn't have the time to plan anything out. She stood right next to me and spoke.

"Hello, Neon-"

"I'M SO SORRY! I WAS PANICKING AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" I put my arms up in a defensive stance and braced for impact.

"Calm down! I forgive you! I understand that you were not thinking clearly." What... Really? After all that! Slowly, I lowered my arms and turned to her. I didn't know if I should have been mad or thankful.

"Wow... T-thanks Twilight... Th-that means a lot to me. If there is anything I could do to show I'm really sorry, I'll do it." Just then something pink and bouncy come though the door. I didn't care enough about it to look.

"Hey! A new pony! This deserves a party!" I could tell that the over excited voice, had to be from Pinkie Pie. Well here comes my greatest excuse ever. "So who are you? My name is Pinkie Pie!"

"Neon Blaze and hello." She was as usual bouncing up and down with a smile. It's a lot creepier when see does it 2 feet away from your face.

"Hello Neon! So let's throw a welcoming party!"

"I really don't like parties..."

"DOESN'T LIKE PARTIES! This is unacceptable! I will have the best party ever ready in 3 hours! I'll invite everypony in ponyville!" And with that she bounces out of the Sugarcube corner leaving me thinking, well there goes my perfect excuse. This is gonna be hell telling her in 3 hours that I really don't want one.

"Fluttershy, let's get out of here. I can't stand this any more." I said to Fluttershy.

"Actually," Twilight spoke," I need to show you to your room and get you situated here." Oh yeah, I forgot all about living with twilight.

"Sorry Fluttershy, it was fun but I should go with twilight now. I'll see you later, ok?" Fluttershy looked kinda sad having to end the fun of this.

"O-okay. I think angel might need me anyway... bye for now." I than waved at her good bye and followed Twilight out. After walking only a half mile or so, we reached Twilight's house. Her purple hoof pushed open the and she greeted spike by saying,

"Spike! I'm home and I found Blaze!" Then the small dragon walked up to me and angrily stared at me.

"How dare you hurt Twilight!" Spike yelled, breaking the awkward silence. I knew how to handle people like this. Right before I glared at him, Twilight spoke up.

"Spike, he was scared and he already said sorry and I forgave him and you should do the same." Spike stopped staring at me and replied with,

"Right... sorry about that Blaze."

"It's okay, there's no problem" Twilight than walked forward and motioned me toward the stairs. I followed her upstairs and she led me past a few doors. It was all in a plain, wood hall. There were no photos nor any carpets or rugs or tables or really anything just a kinda dull brown wood color. She opened the first door down.

"Here's your room."

"Thanks, Twilight." She than walked into the room with me close behind. Once I looked inside I noticed it was slightly dusty and had basic living furniture. There was a medium size bookshelf that held thirty or so books, a basic one pony bed with red blankets and white mattress and pillow, a generic desk with just a plain wood top and no drawers. It also had an average size cheap wooden chair. While glancing at the desk, I saw a flash of an image that appeared to be my computer on the table. Wait... THAT'S IT! I had an idea that could make me the ruler of Equestria... no. I couldn't do that, I'm not a tyrant or dictator. But... still I may still need to do this for my own sanity.

"Hey, Twilight, does any one sell Silicon and aluminum or copper?" I had built computers from scratch before, and if there was a chance I could bring those little devices into this planet, I would take it.

"Uh, I think... there might be somepony selling them in Canterlot. I'm not really sure but I have seen nearly everything being sold there. I'll go check, be right back!" And with that she disappeared in some purple flash. Man, that's a neat trick. Well it looked like I have a few minutes to kill. Than my mind drifted back to my hair. Oh well, I had time, so I left my room looking for a mirror. It would be rude to just go though her house so I decided to ask Spike for help.

"Hey Spike! are you there?" I shouted down the hall.

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Are there any mirrors in the house?

"Yeah there's one in Twilight's room."

"Which door is Twilight's room?"

"Second one on the right."

"Thanks!" So I then preceded to that very door and opened it. The one thing I could think, books. Lots and lots of fucking books. Geez! Does she have a life! Than a devilishly funny idea came into my head, I should switch all the books out with Playboy. No, maybe later, I had other things to do and I didn't think Playboy even existed here. After stumbling about in her room though the towering bookshelves, I came across a mirror. Finally. I looked directly at it expecting me, human again, but that didn't happen. I was still shocked about this new pony body. The bright neon green color that was my skin was almost glow in the dark and everyone noticed me when I walked near them. I would always stand out in a crowd. The next thing I noticed was that I had a horn. I forgot I could use magic but even than, I didn't know of any spells. But, good for me, I'm a quick learner. Than my eyes looked at my hair in the mirror. It was even more unique, it was medium length and the sides came below my ears completely covering them, the back was touching then bottom of my neck, and the front was nearly over my eyes. It was kinda puffy and shaggy and it was silver in color with a thick stripe of neon light blue going though the front off to the side. Damn, I looked badass... for a pony. Than a familiar voice said,

"Okay, I'm back and I found what you need. Neon? Where did you go?" Well, that worked better than I thought it would and now I need to ask her about magic. No wait, I was going to leave soon and than the magic would be gone so learning it would be pointless, but still it would be pretty cool.

"Thanks, Twilight," I told her as I walked toward her out of her room. I'm still gonna do that Playboy thing. Once she was close to me, I grabbed the raw materials out of her hand and placed them on the desk.

"So, I heard you're good with magic and I would like to know some." Yeah I was never really good at talking to people.

"Yeah I'm studying magic, and I could lend you a few books." Damn it, I hate books. Where's a kindle when you need one? Oh well, I didn't have much of a choice.

"Thanks, Twilight I-" Before I could finish my sentence, she walked out of the room and came back in only about five seconds later with about... three, five, thirty-two, sixty-three, eh, I lost count of all the books. This will be harder than I thought it was to learn magic.

"Okay, so the first rule of magic is you need to find your branch of magic your good at." Oh, god. There are branches of magic, I'm fucked.

"Actually, Twilight, I just need to know how to levitate things with magic."

"That's a good way of starting! Okay, so first you build up raw magic in your horn..." Cue montage while playing The Final Countdown. We practiced magic for a few hours until it was dark outside. It wasn't that hard to learn it, it was just very time consuming. So I eventually learned it to the point of where I could lift small objects and combine them with other small objects at great precision.

"Hey, Twilight I think we have learned enough for the day. It's dark and I would like to get sleep for tomorrow."

"Yeah, I suppose its for the best. I probably should be heading to bed also. Spike's most likely already asleep." She left the room and as soon as she was out of sight, I raced over to my raw materials and opened them up. It's the perfect amount and purity that I need to make plenty of integrated circuits. As I started cutting them down with magic and thinking about about what type of integrated circuit I was going to make, I heard some over excited pony burst though the door. Surprised, I glanced over to her and she said,

"Come on Blaze! It's time for the party!" Of fucking course. It just had to be Pinkie Pie didn't it? Couldn't she had died of eating too much sugar or something? Why did I have to put up with her? I could tell that this wouldn't end well. While she was still bouncing on my floor, I replied to her by saying,

"Sorry, Pinkie Pie, but I really don't like parties. There are just too many people-" She cut me off, again, saying,

"Well if you wont go along with me, I'll just drag you there! Come on! You will like it!" And once she said that, she pulled out some rope and jumped over me and tied me up. I tried to stop her with magic but she was too big to be lifted by my noobish magic skills. Once I was all tied up, She dragged me down the stairs with my head banging against each step, it really fucking hurt. After that, She opened up the treehouse's door and dragged me outside. I could hear faint music beats somewhere near.

"Stop! Pinkie Pie! You can't just drag people against their will! This isn't fair! I have rights!" I complained about it and almost begged her to stop, but she never did. After she dragged me for ten minutes, she excitedly exclaimed,

"Look! Where here at your party!" Then she dragged me in the building and I saw dozens of ponies. As I glanced around, I saw Twilight and Spike there... WHAT! REALLY! THEY WERE FUCKING IN ON THIS! I went into rage mode and desperately tried to get untied. I got a foot loose and kept jumping on that foot backwards hoping to get out. I fell over after jumping around for a few minutes and landed near some pony.

"Do you need help with that?" The unknown pony asked me. I could tell she was female.

"Yes, please. I was dragged here against my will by Pinkie Pie." After I said that, she giggled. "Har har, it's so funny. Just help me out of these."

"Pinkie Pie drags a lot of people against their will to parties. You should be lucky it was just rope this time." This time? Note to self: Avoid Pinkie Pie at all costs. The unknown pony used magic, if I had to guess, to get me out of the ropes. I turned around once I was free and noticed it was Vinyl Scratch. She was my favorite pony because she was popular on the Internet and when I saw that four second clip of her on stage playing music, I instantly thought she would be perfect for me. It's just that perfect smile, the smooth head bobs, the best hair I've ever seen, the cool headphones, and those awesome glasses. She was so cool and I really wanted to meet her. Never under any circumstance, did I think I would be meeting her, especially not like this.

"So... hey..." Well this was awkward." My name is Neon Blaze."

"Cool name, My stage name is DJ Pon-3 but my real name is Vinyl Scratch. You have the coolest hair I've ever seen! It would be cool if I could meet you sometime soon after the party." Well... that was easy... uh.. what do I do after this? Well here goes nothing!

"Oh yeah! uh... I think we could meet at the..." My mind went blank as I tried to think of a place to go. She could tell I had trouble with this so she picked for me.

"Café it is. See ya tomorrow at lunch!" And with that She walked back to her DJ table and put on another heavy beat song. Why couldn't getting a girl back on earth be this easy? Well I guess this party wasn't really that bad... except for getting kidnapped... that kinda sucked.

Chapter 3: The Choice

July 25, 2012 Late morning

I felt really tired and I didn't even remember what happened last night. Okay, let's recap, I got dragged here by pinkie pie, I got loose from the ropes, I asked Vinyl out, and... uh... what did I do next?

I rubbed my eyes and than opened them. My first sight was a bunch of fallen over ponies laying on the ground in some building. I wasn't dead or even hurt and I could see that everyone looked like they were dancing because there clothes were wrinkled and covered in sweat, so I quickly deduced that they must have passed out from partying. I than slowly got up and looked around more. The wrecked building told me everything that happened. From the sign that says "Welcome To Ponyville, Neon Blaze" I could tell people were swinging on it because it was torn off on one side and pointed downwards and the other support on it was bent. From the food table that was on it's side I could tell that there must have been a food fight because there was food thrown everywhere around the table. Just from the overall chaos and damage I could tell it was one hell of a party. Kinda sucks that I didn't remember any of it.

Being in a party was something deep down I always wanted to do, it's just I was never invited and I denied that by saying to myself that it wasn't my fault and I didn't want to go. While I did miss my computers and hacking, this new world... it's growing on me. No, I need to go back to earth, I didn't belong here. But... wait.. that means... I won't get to see vinyl again if I go back. No, just no. I won't ruin my life and stay here just because of some pony, my perfect girlfriend or not. When the time comes and I have a chance to go back to earth, I need to make my decision. Or... I could always...No that is a very stupid idea so far out it doesn't belong in science fiction. No wait, there was magic on the world. I wonder if I could make a matter converter and send it's data via Internet and... No now I'm just trying to hold onto things I cant change. Well I really didn't know much about how this world works so I can't rule out that idea just yet. Man, I'm just going completely out of the realms of realism now. Gotta keep my sanity and not get too attached to this world.

I shakily got up from my spot off the ground and stumbled forward toward the door. How can I even be this dizzy? Last time I checked there can't be any alcohol in a show made for eight year olds. But then again, This wasn't a show this was another world if not universe. That also means... No I couldn't do that! She is a pony! I maybe one also but still my mind is the same human mind as I always had it and there is no way I could sit though, let alone do something like that with a pony. Plus I can't stand kids. Anyway, I continued to walk out of the building and than stumbled over to Twilight's house. Once I reached the door, my hoof tried its best to get to that doorknob but no avail. But, lucky for my hoof, the door opened and that purple ... oh man, I forgot her name ... uh, yeah...

"Oh, hey Blaze. I was just about to get you from the party. You look like a mess. What happened? The last thing I remember before leaving was you swinging on that banner." That was me? Man, that sounds like fun. Although, I did now slightly remember me swinging on something... good times.

"Yeah that was... fun and stuff." Really? Stuff? Man, I wish I wasn't hungover, I sounded like a retard.

"And, I heard you got a date. With none other than Ponyville's best DJ." Fuck yeah I did bitch!

"Yeah, I'm still surprised that I did." I believe she said to meet her at the Café during lunch. When I looked back on it, Going to a plain old cafe didn't really sound like something a pony like Vinyl would do. But still! I got a date! What should I wear- oh yeah I had no clothes and we're ponies... OK that solves one problem. No wait, better idea, she didn't seem like the type of pony to plan too much ahead and most likely she would just walk into the Café without anything planned. Maybe I should do the same thing. Well I could easily tell my mane was extremely fucked up so I needed to comb it and maybe add some gel.

"Do you have a comb I could borrow?"

"No, but I know Rarity has some. Some that you definitely need." She chuckled while saying that last part. I decided to ignore that sorta-insult.

"Okay, I will check with rarity at the Carousel Boutique." And with that, I walked to the Carousel Boutique. It was only a three minute walk and it was strange how there weren't that many people out. I reached the Carousel Boutique soon and knocked on the door. Within a few seconds, Rarity came to the door sticking her head out wearing the same glasses and tape measure from yesterday.

"Hello, Blaze. What brings you to my place? And... what happened to your hair! You need a makeover right away!" Oh fuck... There is no way in hell I'm getting a fucking makeover. But I really do need a comb...

"Uh yeah I guess I might need one, but could I borrow a comb? And I really don't have time for a makeover I'm going on a date with-"

"A date! With who! This, I have to know! I must make you look stunning and completely irresistible to this lady you are meeting! For, I'm RARITY, the one and only! Now come on inside, Neon Blaze. We need to get you dressed up! Blaze? Where did you go?" I did feel kinda bad just going into that place and taking a comb while rarity was making that speech. But then again this was probably a casual date and I didn't have the time to get a makeover. So I just took the comb and started running. I was still running and attempting to comb me hair and once I finished with my hair, I arrived at the Café and saw Vinyl walk in. Perfect timing. I followed her in and sat down at the same table as she did. She was still the same cool looking pony as before with her white skin and rock'en hair but this time, she didn't have her headphones or her glasses and her eyes were a deep and beautiful crimson. She looked amazing. She had a laidback smile on her face when she saw me sit down with her. Do we makeout now? I didn't understand what to do next... I think she saw my confused look and said,

"Hey, dude. Cool meeting you here." Well I'm just gonna say the first thing that comes mind now because I have no clue what to do.

"Cool story, bro." Man, I really suck at talking to people. Her face changed a bit showing the emotion of amused.

"Heh, so than why didn't you want to go to that party?" Uh... how can I tell her that without telling her of my past or being human? Eh, fuck it.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" And with that I ran out of the chair and uh.. where is the bathroom? No wait, we are ponies, we can shit on the floor, AW YEAH. Probably not a good idea since they act close to human anyway... well, there goes dream #503. I walked back to vinyl and she just looked confused.

"False alarm, didn't need to go."

"Uh, okay. So then where did you come from and why are in Ponyville?" Saw that coming. Didn't Twilight say something about a Canterlot when getting the materials I need? Out of options, gotta use it.

"I was born in Canterlot, but I couldn't stand the town and Ponyville just seemed like a good fit so as soon as I could move out from my parents house, I did and traveled down here." Hey I actually said something smart! I think I might be able to win this.

"Cool story, bro." I couldn't help but smile at that line, she said it such a relaxed way. I noticed she had a tattoo on her flank. It was a double music note, or something like that. I never learned how to read music. Too much culture, I could never stand art.

"So why did you get the tattoo on your flank?"

"What? What's a tattoo?"

"That thing on your flank, the music note."

"Oh, that. That's my cutiemark. When I was a filly, I was always going to parties and on one of the parties, the DJ had to leave unexpectedly. He asked me to take over because I was the closest pony there and I was amazing at being DJ. People loved it when I played as DJ. After that, I've entered a lot of DJ competitions and won every single one. I was a natural at it"

"That's cool. So where did you come from than?"

"I was born in Manehatten, the city life was fun and all but I like Ponyville's atmosphere and pace better." Just then a waiter unicorn came to our table. He had tan skin and a brown mane and was levitating a pen and paper.

"May I take your order?" I was the first to say an order.

"Ill take a hamburger and a coke." The waiter just gave some very odd face that made me thing he thought of me as I was from some strange culture that ate nonexistent food. I kinda miss bacon, being American and all, but, there was none here. I looked around and saw other ponies eating some form of hamburger but instead of meat there was hay and others had salads. I hope my tastebuds changed, because I'm about to eat hay.

"I will take the burger with hay on it and water." Kinda wish I knew what it was called.

"OK, one hayburger for the gentlecolt and what will the mare be having?"

"Ill take a salad and water" And with that, the waiter left and walked into the kitchen. I noticed it was rather quiet. There were no screaming kids, no glasses or plates clanking, no loud conversation, it was pretty nice. I looked around some more and saw that the tables were white with green outlines and each had 4 black legs on the sides and the floor was made up of uniform white tiles. The walls were a plain white and had a few pictures hung up on them. There were only about 5 or so groups in the Café so it was pretty private compared to most restaurants back on earth. Me and Vinyl continued to make small talk and laughed about events from our past and what we like to do and only after a few minutes of it, the waiter came back with our food being levitated by him on a silver tray. While this kind of life is nice and all, I do miss my hacking days and outsmarting people. Strange why I thought of that. I than had a feeling that I would regret saying that. Oh well our foods here and I haven't had anything since I've gotten here. I grabbed the hayburger and let me tell ya son, you try grabbing a cylindrical object with hooves. Yeah I thought so. I looked over to Vinyl who was happily eating her salad using magic to lift the fork. Duh! Why didn't I think of that? I lifted up the hayburger and put it to my mouth and took a bite. It was OK, not that great, but still edible. Real American hamburgers are and will always be, the best food ever. I finished my hayburger after a few more bites and Vinyl finished her salad within a minute after me. She still had that perfect smile. Right as she finished the last bite, the waiter walked up to us and said,

"That will be 20 bits." What the fuck are bits? Vinyl levitated some kind of coin out of... her pocket? Where did she keep that? We don't wear clothes...

"Here is a 20 bit coin." The waiter took it and walked off. "Next time, you're paying for it," She chuckled.

"I will, promise! This lunch was fun. I would like to meet you again soon"

"Yeah, it was, but who said anything about leaving just yet?"

"Well than were should we go next?" I was glad that I could spend some more time with Vinyl, she was fun.

"I have a pretty rock'en house that I just know you would think is cool." I did want to see her house, I couldn't imagine how it would look knowing how Vinyl liked vibrant neon colors. As long as her house wont give me a seizure, I'm good. So we got up and walked out. We talked and laughed at stories we told and just other randomness that happened throughout the short walk though town. I still had to return the comb to Rarity's place so we made a quick detour there... I wished it was quick. The moment I came within 10 feet of Rarity's shop, I saw her walk out though the door. When she was standing near me and Vinyl, she said,

"Oh! Is this the lady who's your date?" Vinyl blushed slightly as I said,

"Yeah! Also here's your comb." I handed the comb back to her using my magic and she grabbed it with her magic.

"Thanks, and I really did want to give you that makeover. Vinyl here would have loved it!" Vinyl attempted and failed to stifle a laugh. She gave up the battle of trying to not laugh and started laughing so heavily, she almost fell over and rofl'd.

"Oh, laugh it up. It's that funny." I said sarcastically. Vinyl than stopped laughing and did the fake wipe-the-tear-out-of-your-eye-because-it's-so-funny thing. "Anyway, we should head to your place now, Vinyl." I said, hoping that this embarrassing moment would end soon.

"Fair enough." And with that, we walked away from Rarity and toward Vinyl's house. I liked how everything in Ponyville is always a short walk away. We continued the same conversation as before until we reached her house after a few minutes. Nothing could have prepared me for this. Her house was much more modern than the rest of houses in Ponyville. It was almost like it was made on earth... if everyone on earth had an insatiable appetite for neon rainbows that is. I'm not shitting you, the house was colored in neon signs and rainbows. Yeah try imagining that. But it was still a kickass house.

"Nice place." I said to Vinyl as we walked in her house. There was a multicolor dance floor that was covered in LED lights and a really big DJ station near it with a classic shiny discoball hanging from the ceiling finishing the scene off. It was amazing."Woah... this is one tricked out place."

"Thanks, I worked hard on it. I'll give you a tour of the rest of my place" She walked though though room and than though a swinging mirror door. As I followed her though the mirror door, I saw my pony self in the door and thought about how I still need to go back to earth and I'm getting too attached to this planet. It was getting harder and harder to make a choice. I shook off the thought and continued to follow Vinyl. She showed me the usual house rooms like the kitchen, the game room, porch, and just about everything else in a house. I wonder how she can live with all the fucking rainbows in the bright neon signs. But then again, it does fit her style pretty damn good. When the tour was over, she lead me back to the living/dance room. She said,

"That was fun! I would really hate to end this."

"Yeah, I liked it too but I should head home. I'm busy on a secret project and girls can only handle my awesomeness in short doses." Did I really just say that? She at least laughed at it.

"I'd love for you to come back soon!"

"Don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow, Kay?"

"It's a date." She than hugged me and waved good-bye with that perfect smile that I loved so much. As I walked back to Twilight's house, I did a mental recap on what had happened. Because of those events, I smiled the whole way there. I was happy. A simple emotion that I rarely felt. Why did I have to leave? This world was perfect. I couldn't believe that I was thinking this. Liking this world better than earth was something I never thought would happen. My life is hacking and I can't live without. Yet still, I'm enjoying my time here. Why can't my choice be easy? I've made many hard choices before involving the lives of thousands but, this time I just can't choose. My life of saving the world many times over? Or my life of being happy in Equestria? I thought very intensely about this for the slow walk home and when I got home, I haven't made any progress on my choice. As I opened the door, I noticed Twilight was sitting on the couch reading a book. She could tell I was sad.

"What happened? Are you OK?" She was worried about the sad look on my face.

"Nothing, the date was good... it's just... no, I can't tell you. I'm fine, really."

"No you have to tell me. I'm your friend and I'm here to help you."

"I don't need your help." Before she could say anything else, I walked away from her into the house and walked into my room and glanced at my just started computer chip. Than the idea of connecting the worlds came back into my mind. The more I think of it, the more I want to do it and realise it's impossible. I sat down at my desk chair and began work on my soon-to-be-computer late into the night.

Chapter 4: So close yet so far

A/N: I hope you guys are keeping up with the dates. If you'll notice, It's been a week since the last chapter. This will be the last time I'm reminding you about dates. If the story doesn't make sense at times, check the date. I made it so it's easy to infer what has happened in those days.

August 2, 2012 Mid morning

While dreaming about the dates I've been on with Vinyl throughout the week, I groggily opened my eyes with the first thing I felt being hard sanded wood. As I closed my mouth, I noticed that there was a trail of saliva dripping from my mouth. I swiped it off and took note of my surroundings. I was at my desk building my almost-a-computer. I got a lot done with me having finished the CPU, motherboard, video card, and RAM. I was so close, I could just taste the binary. But finishing it would be another day.

Looking out the window, I saw the sun rising up over the horizon and found birds flying over the sun, high in the sky, singing their happy songs. I got up from my chair and leaned out of the window then yelled,

"STFU, BIRDS!" They quickly disappeared from the sky and their happy song ended. I crawled over to the plain bed and threw myself on it. My eyes quickly closed and I found myself asleep in seconds with a smile on my face knowing that I would be able to program again really soon and I had Vinyl Scratch in my life. I dreamed of bacon n' eggs and a fresh cup of orange juice, I really did miss American food. What was that noise? Sounded like whistling from something going really fast.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOAH! SOMEONE CATCH ME!"

*CRASH*

I tensed up and covered my ears as I heard the loud crashing sound. Some kind of small debris and dust covered my face as I laid up looking at the mess around me. The first thing I noticed was there was some kind of rainbow colored dust in the air. The dust cleared out after a few seconds and I saw Rainbow Dash half stuck in my bedroom floor. Her head was under the floor with the rest of her laying on the floor. She coughed and pulled her head out while she said,

"Hey Blaze... fancy meeting you here..."

"Thanks for waking me up. Also do you mind me asking why you're in my floor?"

"Funny story. See I was practicing my flying skills when-" Cutting her off, I said,

"I don't want to know any more. Just leave, I'm trying to sleep." I grumbled.

"No! You gotta hear this! It's epic!" I laid back down and turned away from her while I covered my ears with a pillow. Using advanced social engineering and event math, I calculated how long it would take Rainbow Dash to finish her story. 5 minutes 23 seconds and 4 milliseconds.

*2 minutes later*

Rainbow Dash moved her hoofs around imitating flying maneuvers while saying,

"And then I did a barrel roll while carrying..."

*Another 2 minutes later*

Rainbow Dash was now flying in my room showing me how flying with wings at a certain angle changes trajectory and she said,

"Then if you close your eyes while counterbalancing..."

*1 minute 23 seconds and 4 milliseconds later*

"And that's what happened." Right on the mark as always. Damn, I'm good.

"Cool story, bro. Now can you leave? I'm not ready to get up just yet." Then Twilight walked into my room with messed up hair and as soon as she saw the giant rainbow colored mess in front of her, she went wide eyed and became angry while saying,

"RAINBOW DASH! MY HOUSE! WHY!" OK, I give up. I got up from my bed and just walked out of the room. My stomach growled so I headed to the kitchen while in the background I could hear a very nervous Rainbow Dash explaining how she did that. What is it with people, I mean 'ponies' here? I just can't be left alone. I looked through Twilight's cabinets looking for food. I found some bread... yeah that's about all... I gulped down the bread and walked out of the house. I was planning on not being around while Twilight chastises Rainbow Dash. Using the smiler logic as before, I determined Twilight and Rainbow Dash would finish at exactly... 10 minutes 24 seconds and 42 milliseconds.

Now to kill some time, I should probably go check with Princess Celestia to see until how much longer until I could return to Earth. She said that she couldn't send me back yet in a really strange way like we were in some bad My Little Pony fan-fiction and the author couldn't think of a decent plot. How far away was Canterlot? And what direction was it in? This was going to be harder than I thought. I wonder if there was some bus or tram that could get me there. Oh wait, no cars. Oh yeah! Twilight could teleport to Canterlot! But she was busy. Then I guess I'm stuck here for another 9 minutes 42 seconds and 29 milliseconds.

With nothing better to do, I walked over to Rarity's place. The least I could do is give her the chance to design clothes for I walked over to Rarity's store, I took note on all the foals running around and basking in the warm morning sun. It was way to fucking happy for me, I almost threw up. But too late for that, I stood in front of the carousel thingy when I knocked on the front door. Rarity appeared some how looking neat and dressed up for a special event. How the fuck did she do that? Does she get up at 4 A.M. and start doing her hair? I had bed hair and she looked like she was the bride in a wedding. You know what? Screw physics! I'm done trying to make sense of this. Rarity spoke up,

"Hello Blaze and welcome to the Carousel Boutique. Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I needed some casual clothes, nothing too fancy or expensive." Her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. Or like a 14 year old guy who just got asked for sex by Megan Fox. They're about the same.

"Yes! Finally! Come in, come in! We have quite some work to do!" Doing what she said, I followed her in the fancy building. The walls were shiny and made of white marble while the floor was covered in fancy rugs and there were racks of colorful clothes and sheets of cloth hanging from them. There were also mirrors with those annoying bright bulbs outlining them. She motioned for me to get on some pedestal which, I did. She then walked over the rack of cloths and picked a few out. She kept designing and messing around with the cloths until she found the color that would be match me quite well.

"This is perfect!" Rarity exclaimed as she walked over to me with the sheets of cloth in her hoof. There were rainbow colors in her hoof and they looked really girly. I really hoped I still had my dick after this. She started throwing the cloths over me and I could hear cutting sounds. After about 30 or so minutes, she finished and I could see my new clothes in the mirror. My pants were a simple dark blue fabric that felt like jeans and my shirt was made of cotton and had an orange and red splash of color on them. It contrasted quite nicely on my bright colors.

"Thanks Rarity! These look awesome!"

"It was no problem, I assure you, dear." After admiring my new clothes for a bit more, I stepped down from the pedestal and walked out. I bet Vinyl would love to see these new clothes, so I walked over to her house. It wasn't hard to find it, I just followed the loud, ground shaking, music beat. She must have been having a party... or that could always be her alarm clock. I strolled up to her shiny, color emitting house and could tell that there was no party because the dance floor was empty. I opened the door and thought, why aren't any doors locked? Doesn't anything ever get stolen? Anyway, after I walked in, I couldn't see Vinyl anywhere. I checked upstairs getting closer and closer to the beat and the ground was shaking more and more.

Barely able to stand up because of the ground shaking from the beat, I found Vinyl sleeping on her bed with her head hanging off it. She looked cute like that with her tongue sticking out and her hair being upside down with her eyes closed. How could she sleep through this sound? I glanced over to her alarm clock and hit snooze so I could see straight again. I was judging whether or not to wake her. On one hoof, I was bored and I'm sure Vinyl wouldn't mind seeing me again. On the other hoof, she was probably partying late as usual. It was about 2 P.M. and most late sleepers and late party people wake up in about... 3... 2... 1... and there's Vinyl yawning as predicated.

"Wakey wakey, party head." My way of saying good morning to Vinyl. She rubbed the sleep sand out of her eyes and smiled softly.

"Hey, nice seeing you as my first sight today." She chuckled. If I did this on earth, I would have been arrested, girlfriend or not. She pulled herself up on the bed while turning to me and stood up off of her bed. Her hair was even more messed up than mine. It was like if you got boiled spaghetti then threw that in wet cement than put the cement into a tornado. I never thought I would ever say something like that...

"I'm pretty much free for the whole day. So what should we do then?" Sex... damn you, dirty mind of mine! Although, I would fuck Vinyl if she was human, I mean have you seen her humanized in art? She's fucking hot! "Hello? You still there?" Vinyl said as she walked toward me. Damn, I'm glad she can't read my thoughts.

"Yeah, just thinking a bit about what we should do." Think! What was good on earth and would be awesome here! "Let's smoke weed like Snoop Dawg, maaan." DID I JUST LOSE MY MIND! WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT! AND WHY DO I THINK IN CAPS WHEN I DO SOMETHING STUPID!

"What?"

"Nothing! Uhh, I mean, Uhh..."

"I don't know about you but, I would love to see that cool light show in Manehatten." Why do I get the feeling that I'm not the guy in this relationship? I haven't been able to pick where to go on our dates because I didn't really know anything about this Equestria yet. What? The week I've been here I've been either going out with Vinyl or working on my computer. Don't blame me for that.

"That's cool. Light shows are always fun and I have been wanting to visit Manehatten some time."

"Also, you got some rock'en clothes on. They look like they were made by a pro."

"They were, Rarity made them and I must say, they do look pretty awesome." Plus I got pockets! I've been missing pockets! "Do you ever wear clothes? I asked Vinyl.

"Not really. I don't go to fancy parties and all I have ever worn was neon glow sticks and rings."

"It's already about 2:30 and really I want to see all of Manehatten."

"Ok than, we can get lunch and dinner while we are there. I know some pretty cool places at the top of skyscrapers."

"Awesome, but shouldn't you comb you hair first?"

"My hair goes back to normal in an hour or so. So combing it isn't worth the trouble. And I don't wear any make up or anything else so we can leave right now."

"Let's go then." Vinyl with me following walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs then out the door."Hey wait, Can't we just teleport there?" I asked Vinyl.

"I'm not that great at magic, I can't teleport. We should ask Twilight." I haven't really been learning anything because I only needed the levitation spell and magic would be gone once I got back to earth.

"Sure, I know the way. Would ya kindly follow me?" Bioshock reference FTW.

"Sure, lead the way." Now for the dangerous half mile to Twilight's house. It's filled with... Ponies? Why can't I make this dramatic? This would have been so cool on earth. Anyway, I walked toward Twilight's house with Vinyl close behind. I would have held her hoof but I don't think that's even possible. We talked about Manehatten with Vinyl telling me funny stories that happened when she was there. We were both laughing when we reached the door to Twilight's house. I opened the door and walked in.

"Twilight! Are you here?" I yelled up the stairs. Twilight replied with,

"Yeah Spike and I are fixing Rainbow Dash's mess." I turned to Vinyl and said,

"We should probably help them."

"Going to Manehatten with me or patching up a house? Pick your choice. "

"OK OK you win!" I walked up the stairs and strolled into my room. I greeted twilight with, "Hey Twilight, can you teleport us to Manehatten?" She turned around while levitating a broom and dustpan and said,

"Oh, Vinyls here, hey Vinyl. Yeah sure I can." Then Twilight's horn glowed even more then it did and I was trapped by the familiar purple light I have come to expect with Twilight. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing in some modern looking building. A hotel if I had to guess.

"Vinyl, do you know where we are? Vinyl?" I turned around and found nothing. No Vinyl. I started to panic and ran out of the building and looked around for signs of her. I couldn't find her any where.

"Vinyl? Vinyl! VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINYL!" She was no where to be found. My heart sank as I realized she was gone.

Chapter 5: Derpy's help

August 2, 2012--Early Afternoon

Keep your cool Dylan! Think! Use logic not emotion! I started to breathe deeply and took note of my surroundings. There were a few ponies staring at me and I was outside in Manehatten near some hotel. Think of every possible outcome, use math and logic to pick the most likely one, and find a solution to the problem. I shifted though every possible scenario that could have caused this to happen. Could Twilight have forgotten her in the spell? No, if she did she would have teleported her right after me. Could she have been teleported somewhere else? Unlikely, but still possible. Could Vinyl have been kidnapped? No, this is Equestria, not Earth. Could she have died though the teleport? No, Twilight wouldn't have used it if it was that dangerous. Damn it! I WILL NOT LOSE VINYL! I don’t care if I die trying! Calm down Dylan! If I really want her back, I will use logic! With no other plan of action, I looked around Manehatten looking for that white, blue haired pony that I loved so much. While running though Manehatten, I rapidly looked around for her. Ten minutes passed and nothing. I decided to try something else, I walked up to a local music shop and asked the employee there if she had seen Vinyl.

“She comes into this store quite a bit but I haven't seen her today.” Was all the employee could give me. I ran out of there and looked for more places where people might know Vinyl. There was another music store specializing in selling heavy beat music and stereo systems! I dashed into the store hoping to find someone that knew where Vinyl was. While sprinting up to the employee behind the checkout-counter, I asked him,

“Have you seen a pony named Vinyl Scratch, also goes by DJ-P0N3? White skinned, has blue and light blue hair? Unicorn.” The stallion behind the desk chuckled,

“You look worried. If I had to guess, I would say that you would be happy to know that I saw her walk by the store about 5 minutes ago, going left toward the-” I ran out of the store and yelled,

“Thanks!” Think, she walked left, 5 minutes ago so she must have traveled at most quarter mile judging by the facts, he said almost 5 minutes, it’s crowded here, and she walks an average of 1.41 mph. I ran out going left thinking of all the possible routes she could have gone in that distance then I cross-referenced those routes with her personality and figured out the path that she would most likely take. It was a 43% success rate, but I refuse to lose her and I had no other options. I ran down my predicted route looking for anypony that might be her. I need to give my brain a vacation because using my genius logic and math skills, I fucking found her! Dashing up to her, I said,

“Vinyl! Where have you been?” She turned around and looked at me with a smile.

“Looking for you. I got teleported to Manehatten near that club over there” Vinyl said while pointing at a club. ”And I noticed that you weren't there so I looked around for you. I missed you, dude.” She pulled me in for a hug.

“Let’s not forget about that date.”

“I wouldn't dream of it.” She said as she let go of me.

“You know this city better then me, where should we go?”

“Oh no, this time you’re picking where we go.” Sigh, this won’t ever be easy, will it? I’ve had to eavesdrop on telephone lines and piece together what they said often in hacking, I could try to do something smilier here. I focused all of my brain power to my ears and searched around for people talking. A common name seemed to appear in groups of two mostly composed of a stallion and mare, Equestrian Eatery. Seems to be described by colorful, fun, good for dates, and entertaining by most of the ponies. Bingo.

“Why don’t we go to the Equestrian Eatery?”

“That’s one of my favorite places! The music they play there is awesome and it’s right at the top of a skyscraper!” Damn, I’m good. I never thought I could use so much I learned from hacking on dates. My mind flashed back to my latest hacking job, the corrupt politician. When I get back to Earth, I will stop him. But that’s for another day. What has been happening on Earth since I've been gone? I’m gonna have one hell of a mess to fix on Earth when I get back. Shouldn't be too hard though, it was a pretty low point when I left. Get back on track! I’m here and now, with Vinyl. I’ll get back to Earth later.

“So then, are you gonna lead the way?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” She walked off down some street with me following her close behind. I wasn't about to lose Vinyl again or ever. After a short walk through town, I found myself standing in front of a fairly tall building that was playing loud, yet still catchy, music with a strong central beat. There was a dance floor at the bottom of the place and I could see the restaurant on top. I really hope ponies have elevators, because there is no way I’m fucking walking all the way up there. Vinyl lead me into an elevator that, of course, had elevator music. The one god damn thing I hated on Earth, they could not have had the same stupid idea here? If I hear another ‘doo, dum-dum, doo, doo’ again, I will fucking go beast mode on that speaker. Vinyl just stood in the elevator with me, not really saying anything until the door opened up and she walked out. I smirked and said,

“Age before beauty.” She looked back at me and said in a smilier playful manner,

“Coolness before awesomeness.” Well, she got me there, but I don't think she quite got the phrase. I followed her into the restaurant and took note of the spacious and fun vibrant atmosphere. It looked beyond cool with the glowing neon everywhere. Almost like a scene out of Tron but green instead of blue and with more color. The floor was jet black with glowing lights that came out of the floor indicating where the paths were. It was pretty dark, but you could still see most of the room. I felt like such a fucking hipster going in there. Vinyl picked a table and I sat down almost at the same time as her. The thing that’s been bothering me is, I don’t know how much Vinyl knows about my past or who I really am. I’ve tried to keep it secret, but still, I can’t hide it forever. A waiter walked up to us while I was deep in thought about my past. I didn't pay any attention so I didn't know what he looked like.

“And for you, sir?” Said a gruff yet calm voice.

“I’ll have a Hayburger and water.” I said without thinking of what's happening right now. He walked away and I was still deep in thought about how I’m gonna break leaving to her. Maybe I don’t have to... What is it with this idea again? It was born out of complete emotion with no logic or thought put into it at all. It’s impossible, Dylan! Drop it! I don’t have stupid ideas like this! Why do humans have to hold on to a sliver of hope no matter how impossible? I’ve never been so emotional, so non-sensible, so... unhacker like. It just wasn't me. I would have cried if Vinyl wasn't sitting in front of me. She must have noticed me when I glanced at her because she said,

“You okay? You haven't said much. Anything you want to talk about?” I really did feel like pushing her away, like everyone else. But I.. I.. can’t. No matter how much I want to avoid people, avoid relationships, avoid any thing that’s not computer related, I-I just can't with Vinyl, she means too much.

"I'm fine, it's just that... No, I'll tell you later. Now isn't a good time."

"Okay fine, but you have to promise to tell me later."

"I'll tell you but I don't make promises."

"Fair enough. Look our food is here." And here it was. The waiter put our food on the table and I slowly chewed on my hayburger while deep in thought.  The time seemed to fly as me and Vinyl made small talk and told a few stories. She did most of the talking. We finished up and left after about 30 minutes or so and it was early evening when I looked outside. Hoping to end this soon, I said,

"The suns starting to lower and it's a long way back to Ponyville. I think we should start leaving."

"Don't you at least want to visit one of the night clubs?"

"Not right now. I'd rather just sleep."

"OK fine, we'll go than." She must have really cared about me if she was willing to skip going to a night club just to walk home with me.  We began the slow trip back to Ponyville without much talking. By the end of the trip, we were talking about the worst jokes we've heard and laughing. I walked her home and she said,

"You can always live with me if you want." That is something I have been wanting to do but...

"That would be cool, I will one day, but right now, I'm fine at Twilight’s." That and I would rather have peace and quiet which I imagine is a rare treat at her house.

"OK, see ya tomorrow then." We waved good bye and I left her house. It was just another short walk to Twilight’s in the dark as usual. Throughout the walk I thought about when I could return to Earth. After all, it couldn't take that long to learn a spell could it? I really needed to study up on how magic works here because I don't like not being able to determine the time it would take to learn a spell like that. My best guess with my current knowledge about magic would be about a week or 3 years. I really hope it's the former. I’ll go check to see how much progress Celestia has made on getting me home tomorrow morning. I wonder if my room is back to normal? Rainbow Crash did slam into it pretty hard. Eh, I’ll live if the hole isn't been repaired yet. I greeted Twilight at the door as I usually do with,

"Twilight, I'm home." She was sitting on her couch reading a book, surprise surprise. She said,

"Hey, we got a new pony today." With her eyes never leaving the book. I shuffled upstairs and noticed the still unpatched floor in my room. While I slumped into my desk chair, I thought about the idea that I just couldn't shake off. Using my magic, I levitated my metals and computer parts around smelting and combing them to finish my project. At this rate, I could finish in 3 days 36 minutes and 15 seconds. I smiled at that thought knowing that I could be using a computer again pretty damn soon. Wait... did Twilight say new pony? I'll have to meet this new guy. After all, my stay may only be temporary, but that doesn't mean I can't be nice to people. I also should start using their vocabulary here more like I should start saying anypony or everypony or oh my Celestia, I liked saying that. No! I can't think like that! Damn it damn it damn it! FUCK! I need to get out of this fucking hell world now! I will not accept this! Earth is my home and it will always be! Sorry Vinyl, but I cant stay! My brain is turning to mush just being here! They're just fucking ponies! This may be other people's dream, but it's not mine. I want out and right now. I ran down the stairs and yelled at Twilight,

"Twilight! Teleport me to Celestia!" I will get off of this rainbow hell world at any cost!

"Why? It's late, so can we go tomorrow?" She looks up at me this time.

"NO! We need to go know!" I got impatient and I didn't give a shit to what Celestia will do to me if I do this. I. Want. Out. Right. Fucking. Now. Twilight looked slightly worried as she said,

"OK, if it means that much to you but I don't think Celestia will-"

"I DON'T CARE. TELEPORT ME NOW." She got scared and her horn glowed and when the light subsided, I stood in the castle that I remembered from a week ago. A few royal guards approached me and one of them said,

"Halt, nopony is allowed to enter the castle this late."

"I need to see Celestia, now." The same pony spoke,

"Come back tomorrow." I will not take no as an answer.

"Too bad, being me to Celestia, NOW." The guards went into a fighting stance.

"If you won't leave, then we will have no choice but to forcibly kick you out."

"BRING IT ON!" The same pony that spoke charged at me and I was in position to spin and use his momentum against him to fling him into another guard. Right before I could counter his attack, a familiar booming voice yelled,

"STOP!" and the guard and me were frozen in some kind of dust. I couldn't move and neither could he. The voice spoke up again saying,

"We will not fight in the royal palace! Neon, what is the meaning of this?!" It was Celestia. Finally.

"Celestia! I want off of this world now! I can't take another second!" Her face was of anger but after I said that, she looked kind of sad.

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this. I thought you would just accept or even enjoy being here in Equestria. But I guess not. You're no different from any other human. You want me to send you back to Earth? Well I can't! I'm sorry for lying, but I thought you would like to stay in Equestria. When you came into our world, Luna wanted to kill you on sight because humans are known for their violent nature. I don't know how you got here or why, but you caused a lot of controversy. I can't turn you human nor can I send you back home. I'm sorry but just accept it." I fell on my knees and started to cry over what she just told me.

Never again would I see Earth. Never again would I ever see my true human self. It's all gone. Everything. I... I... just... my home... Earth... all gone forever... Equestria may be perfect, but I don't want perfect, I want Earth. I'll never see another human again. I had collapsed on the floor with my eyes stained red with tears as I learned the truth. I must have cried myself to sleep and someone must have taken me home because I woke up in my bed, dried tears still in my eyes and the sun was up outside. Then I looked at my computer parts and that sliver of hope came back. This is the last straw. I WILL GO BACK TO EARTH EVEN IF I DIE TRYING. This project will take all of my intelligence, all of my logic, everything I have I will use to make this idea come to life. I will not sleep, not rest, not breath until I will finish this! I dashed over to my desk and continued my project.

About 4 hours later, Vinyl visited me and greeted me with,

"I was wondering where you were." she walked up to me and hugged me while I was still at my desk.

"Sorry for not seeing you earlier, but I'm really busy right now and I can't accept any distractions." Vinyl looked at what I was doing and she got a confused look on her face and said,

"What are you working on then?"

"Something that I can't explain in thirty seconds. Now please leave, this means a lot to me and I need to finish it." Vinyl walked away and said,

"Okay, dude. I'll leave for now." She had a disappointed look on her face as she left the room. I continued my rapid pace on my work and judged how long it would take me to finish at this rate. four hours 3 minutes 48 seconds. So damn close. I heard somepony else walking up to my room and I slammed the door using my magic before they could enter. I yelled,

"Sorry, but I can't have any distractions right now." I didn't know who it was nor cared. My computer was all that mattered at the moment. I heard the footsteps walk away from me.

4 hours 1 minute and 3 seconds later

As I put in the last transistor, I finished it. All that work. It's over. Now, I just need a power source. The computer looked like a generic black desktop. I opened the door and ran downstairs to Twilight which, if I had to guess would be reading. No wait, not guess, make an educated estimate then cross-examine that with her reading habits. I don't guess, ever. I was right because there she was sitting on the couch reading some book. I called out to her by saying,

"Twilight! Get up up here! I need your help with connecting electric waves on power circuitry with a transistor on a modular 400 Watt LGB power system!" Twilight just got the most confused look on her face and said,

"What?" Oh yeah, they had no computers on this world. Okay, time to use n00b terms.

"Can you make electricity strike a piece of metal?"

"No, you will have to ask a Pegasus."

"Where is the nearest one?"

"I don't know. Just go outside and look." I ran outside as fast as my legs could carry me and searched the blue cloudy sky for anything flying. Found something. The pony was grey and there was a trail of mail falling out behind her. She had yellow eyes that were... fuck no, I will not ask Derpy to make a lighting bolt hit a very small 2 cm wide target that if the bolt is too strong or weak by half of a watt, it will destroy the computer. I looked around searching for anything that could be a Pegasus. Nothing. Damn it! It's like I’m my own personal rabbits foot! Rainbows, puppies, and lucky fucking clovers spew from my ass! I yelled,

"Hey Derpy! Can you come down for a second? I need your help!" The grey pony stopped and err, less of a glide down, more of a fall down. She landed with a thud and with letters and other mail slowly drifting down above her. I never thought I would be this desperate. Well, if I survive this, which has a 87% percent death chance, I'll have to repay Derpy. Derpy had her usual crossed eyes when she said,

"Hey there, what do you need?"

"Can you strike this little metal rod with lighting?" I said as I pulled out the battery pack I designed. She looked at it with confused eyes than made an 'idea' face. I'm gonna be in a fucking world of pain soon.

"Uhh...uhh... yeah!" And with that, she flew up to a nearby cloud and started to bounce on it. I hope my hair is gonna remain awesome after this. No wait, scratch that, I hope I still have hair after this.

Chapter 6: For science!

August 3, 2012--Mid Afternoon

The cloud Derpy was bouncing on had lightning bolts striking out from under it every time Derpy bounced on the cloud. After a few bolts, she had hit me... not my hair, but... well... let’s just say I might have erectile dysfunction for a few days. Eh, I still had my hair. While I was spaztasicly shaking my dick trying to see if it was alive and hopefully getting the electricity out, Derpy managed to hit the power source dead on and the light indicator bar lit up to a bright green. I stopped flailing around my dick to see that the battery was fully charged and Derpy fell back down to the ground greeting me with the same, smile as always. She spoke up saying,

“I got it!”

“Thanks, Derpy. I needed your help.” I walked away from the oddly eyed Pegasus and stumbled into Twilight’s house. I trotted up to my room while still feeling the static electricity in my balls and slumped down at my desk eager with anticipation. My hoof reached for the plug to the computer and I connected it with the battery. My computer whirred to life with the soft hum of the fans and a slow pulsing blue glow coming out of it. My monitor turned on and it displayed an old style terminal with the light green ‘>’ flashing indicating that it worked and was waiting for commands. That familiar green character brought a smile to my face. Now to just get all of Equestria’s best minds and make a matter converter and satellite. I had the blueprints of a satellite in my head, but the matter converter would be challenging. I had basic ideas with transporting things atom by atom at speeds exceeding light, the closest thing I could get to true teleportation. But that’s not the only problem. I need it to also change my molecular structure so I’m human. My kind of challenge, this will be fun. Let’s see, who’s first? Dr. Whooves could be useful. I might need Twilight’s magic. Rainbow Dash could help me with tuning the speed at which the atoms could travel. Pinkie pie breaks the laws of physics a lot, which is what I’m almost trying to do, so I might need her. Rarity can make things that are really accurate so I could use her. There is a possibility of some kind of wall that I need pure strength to hold back or take down, so I should probably bring Big Macintosh. The ponies will have to know about their jobs, so Cheerilee could prove useful. No, way too many. There should be some kind of string of top scientist ponies that Celestia has made to make all the inventions. I’m going to have Twilight teleport me to the castle. I wonder if Twilight is here. Didn’t see her downstairs. I called out to anyone that might be home,

“Is anypony home?!” The only voice that spoke up had to be Spike.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Where’s Twilight?”

“She’s at Canterlot for some royal tea party.” Uh oh, Trollestia moment coming. Just then I heard a soft kind of ZAP that reminded me of teleportation spells. Twilight said,

“Back!” Spike greeted her with,

“That was quick.”

“Celestia had royal business to attend to so there wasn’t a tea party.” Of course. I said,

“Twilight, can you teleport me to Celestia?”

“She said she was busy and-”

“This means more than any business she could have.”

“Right, but still, you made her mad last time, so can it wait until later?” It could, but I don’t care about what ever she is doing.

“No.”

“OK, fine, I’ll send you.” Twilight must be on bottom in bed because she is extremely passive and just can’t say no. Her horn glowed and the warm feeling quickly passed over. As expected, I stood in the castle. Celestia looked slightly surprised at my sudden appearance and she was sitting at her throne writing something.

“Neon, how unexpected. Do you need anything? I’m slightly busy.”

“Yes, where are Equestria’s best scientists?”

“They’re having a meeting at town hall in Canterlot.” How convenient. No really, I kind of expected some epic quest of traveling through every city and going on stealth missions in hidden cities made by evil cults that were planning on burning a scientist because.... Uh... Where was I going with this? Oh well, no quest, let's go.

“Which building?”

“Town hall.” I raced out of the castle looking for town hall. Shouldn’t be too hard to find. I started to break out into song with,

"I need to just need to follow the-" NO! I will not sing! Not breaking into song is harder then it looks and for some odd reason, I already knew all of the song. Hey, why didn't I get a song from Pinkie Pie? Oh well, I don't like singing anyway. After following the somewhat convenient signs, I trotted over to the town hall's shiny, marble plated, jewel-encrusted, fancy wood doors. ‘Sigh’, purely cosmetic things. I always did hate things that were only there for looks and had no to little functional value. I walked through the doors and glanced around inside. Where the fuck does the town get this kind of money? Once I was inside, I saw a bunch of old ponies that were covered in lab coats and had glasses on. They were all sitting at a round table talking about something. I walked over to them and said,

“Hello all, I need your help.” One of them, a brown one, turned to me and said,

“We’re busy at the moment.”

“With?”

“Forming insecticides to ward off those pesky parasprites.”

“OK, that’s great. I don’t care, This is more important.”

“What is?” He fell right into my trap. Curiosity, is this place’s weakness. I rolled out blueprints of a small box, a improved communications array that didn’t need to be launched, and a half finished matter transporter and converter.

“I just need you ponies to build this box and help me with designing this MTSC.”

“MTSC?”

“Matter Transporter Slash Converter.”

“Hmm, this is far too advanced for us. We can’t make it.”

“You can’t, but I can. I just need to break it down into smaller pieces so that you can make it. Then we put it together and use a bit of magic.” The ponies looked skeptical. They quietly conversed and nodded in unison.

“OK, we will attempt to make this.” Yes!

“Then let’s start...” I used a few hours and told them all what each piece did and we brainstormed over how to make the MTSC. I never told them what I would use the MTSC for, but I did tell them what it could do. We finished the blueprints for the MTSC within about four hours and it seemed solid. A bit buggy, but it should be able to transport atoms at speeds faster than light and at the same time edit my molecular structure to turn me human. There was one thing about it that I didn’t like, The chance of getting lost somewhere in the transporter is about 9/10 at current designs, but I plan to make it safer. Now, to build the Internet relay receiver, or what I like to call, the IRR. I left the building and headed home, I can make this newly designed IRR by myself. That, and I don’t think Equestria would be a good place for the Internet so I don’t want anyone else to build this and spread it. Celestria would be such a troll. After about a mile out from Canterlot, I thought, why didn’t I just ask for a teleport? Eh, I don’t feel like going back. Just keep waking I guess. It was a rather lonely walk back without Vinyl. That reminds me, where is Vinyl? I’m going to miss her and I should say goodbye before I go. Saying goodbye... that is one of the hardest things I can do. Or maybe I should just leave. No, then they will worry about me. I had that sad feeling in my chest as I slowly walked back to Ponyville thinking about all the memories I've had here, all the people I've met, everything that I loved so much about this place. It will be so hard to let go of it all. I found my way back into Ponyville and it looked normal with the sun half way over the horizon indicating that it was about 7 pm or so. I was tired so the only thing I needed to do right now was get some sleep, but I wanted to see Vinyl first. Maybe for the last time. I headed over to her house which I could see her testing some of her music equipment for a party. I wondered who the party was for, but I really didn’t care, so I decided not to ask Vinyl. I opened the door and walked inside to see Vinyl smiling at me. She was the first to speak,

“Hey dude. I’m messing around a bit with my DJ stand to prepare for a gig tonight. You’re invited.”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m kinda tired anyway. Sleep is probably the best thing right now.”

“Come on, don’t be a party-pooper.”

“Don’t try to change me.” I smirked and said in a playful manner.

“Heh. Well, OK. I guess I’ll see ya later then. Bye.” I waved good-bye and walked out, heading for Twilight’s. It was a short walk and I quickly found myself in my bed and dozed off, hoping for the morning sun to come soon.

Chapter 7: Home!

August 4, 2012--Midnight

I slowly opened my eyes, but to my surprise, I wasn't in Equestria. I was in... well, I didn't really know. It was dark and I could hear rain outside and there were puddles of water dotted around the black, cold, metal floor. A quick flash of light appeared through a small semi-circle window with bars and then a loud 'BOOM' like thunder was heard. I was crouching with some kind of heavy iron cuffs on my hands connecting them. I stood up and looked around more. It was very dark but I could see that I was in some prison cell because there were bars covering the large opening that led outside of this room. I shuffled over to the bars while still hearing the crack of thunder and looked through them. It was nothing more than a cloud of black nothingness. I grabbed the iron bars and started to shake them. They didn't budge and... my hand... it... had... fingers. I screamed out,

"What the fuck is going on!" but I couldn't hear more than hoarse whisper against the rain. Metal started clanking and I looked toward the bars which were the source of the sound. They were open. But I didn't see anyone or anything. I slowly and very cautiously moved toward the now open gate, not making a sound for fear of some unknown presence. I heard a soft moan behind me and I spun around and as soon as I could see what was behind me, a flash of light appeared and for a flicker of time, I saw a human. Old, pale, with a very big evil smile on his face and teeth that were sharper than most knifes. After that brief moment of light, it became dark again and the man or thing was gone with a loud thundering sound to finish it off. Something very demonic was whispered into the wind. It sounded like it said, 'The fear of loss is worse than death.' My spine had chills shooting down it as I decoded the demonic voice. I came to my senses and realized that I was terrified and the only way out of this nightmare was to conquer my fear of... what exactly did I fear? Or I could just wait this out. Let's see, dreams run at a speed of 20 times real life, dreams only happen in the REM cycle of sleep, which, by my sleeping pattern, starts at 5:52 A.M. and I would wake up at 7:36 A.M. That's a total of 2 hours and 44 minutes real time and 2 days 7 hours and 6 minutes dream time. Yeah, no. I'm not spending that long in this cell. I walked out of the dark cell with legs, that I have almost forgotten how to use, and with no fear and my only goals being to survive and explore. Although, then again, if I get scared too much here, I'll go into shock and awake in the real world. This may be a dream, but I have limits. I can't just start spawning things and blow up everything. I'm not in control of this dream. My subconscious is, I'm just playing along. I stretched out my arms and legs and walked forward, toward the darkness. I walked down a long narrow winding hallway in pitch black. When I turned around, there was no jail cell, just blackness. Typical of nightmares. I'm not giving in to fear. I've suffered through too much, I have nothing left to lose. I scream into the hall,

"Do your worst, you fucking subconscious!" Oddly enough, I don't like my subconscious. It makes me relive my horrible past. It makes me feel the pain and horror I thought I got rid of long ago. That's not all, probably worst of all, I can't control it at all. I can't plan around it because it's completely random. So, you want to know what I learned to do? I learned how to think when in dreams. Kind of like a lucid dream, but with limits. Even though these nightmares bring me pain and suffering, it's what keeps me going. It's the reason why I never stop trying. The reason why I will never forget my past.

I continued through the hallway because I had nothing to lose. My eyes darted to the end of the hall to find a very distant, dim light. That would be my exit ticket. I dashed over to the light still feeling wobbly on 2 legs and I saw familiar shadow appear. I got closer and the shadow became colored and more clear. It was Vinyl. What's she doing here? I slowed down to a walking pace and called out to her, but I couldn't speak. When I got close enough to her, she was crying. When I noticed this, I ran over to her, but she kept getting farther away. I then saw a shadowy hand with a knife appear above Vinyl. The blade was about to kill her. I ran quicker but with each step she got farther away. I tried to scream out one more time, but I fell. And kept falling. Forever. I screamed and screamed for what felt like an eternity then I heard a voice, sounding a lot like Vinyl's, say,

"Why did he have to leave me?" That repeated for hours and I stopped screaming and started to answer. When I got the answer, I screamed out,

"Because Earth is my home!" Then I shot my eyes open and leaped in my bed. I was in my bed and sweating profusely. It was near midnight and I had no idea what that dream was about. I looked at my hands and I was glad to see that I had my hooves back. I should get back to sleep, but that nightmare... I’ve never had anything like that. I can live through my current dreams, but this... this was different. Was it the fear of losing Vinyl? I know I don’t like it, but losing her shouldn’t be this painful. This world is false and yet, it’s more real than Earth. I have someone close, someone I can talk to. Why did I have to get into relationships? It was so much simpler just writing code. Against my better judgement, I had become attached to this world. Life just won’t be the same once I leave. Dammit! I’ve made my choice. I’m leaving and I will not regret it. I slumped back down into my bed and fell asleep yet again with hope of not having to relive that dream. I woke up with those dreams still fresh in my mind. They had an impact on me. While stretching my legs, I walked over to my door and walked outside, computer parts floating behind me. It was bright outside when I left Twilight’s house. I skipped breakfast, I wasn't hungry. I just wanted off this planet and I needed a different place to work on my MTSC and IRR. I found a shady tree somewhere nearby the outskirts of Ponyville and sat down on the grass and continued on my IRR. It was a nice and quiet day with a slow breeze blowing out, shuffling my hair around. It didn’t take too long to finish it. Just another 2 hours and I wasn't disturbed at all which was nice. Looks like there’s only one more barrier between me and Earth, the MTSC. I’m still not even sure if it’s possible, but, I did not come all the way out here, do all this stuff, and work this hard just to quit now. I’m getting off this pony hell, if it means I get back to Earth or die trying. With renewed determination, I tested the IRR. It used blu-tooth to connect to the computer which has been modified by me and is now a small laptop which I could carry with me easily. I opened up the laptop and it started the boot sequence.

**********************

BOOT:root; beta

**********************

Starting...

Firmware booted successful.

Graphics booted successful.

CPU Voltage at 56%.

Temp. at 24% max.

All systems checked and ready for use.

Process completed: 1 successful attempt out of 1 attempt.

*********************

Welcome user:

U:___________

P:___________

*********************

I inputted my username and password into the boxes and watched the magic happen.

*********************

Username and Password accepted:

Welcome, User: Dylansl

**********************

I typed in the correct commands making sure that I missed nothing.

**********************

Start: Blu-tooth network scan

Establishing Blu-tooth uplink...

Blu-tooth connection found for device: IRR

Would you like to connect? [y/n]

y

Connecting....

Uplink to IRR succesful.

Transferring firmware data...

Both devices now in synchronization and ready for use. Run diagnostics for system hardware and logic gates? [y/n]

y

Running test#649...

Test succesful.

Results:

Array: Working

Uplink: Connected

Transistor power lines: Non-responsive

Rechecking transistors using backup power paths....

Alt. path found in J-sector.

Rerunning test#649

Array: Working

Uplink: Connected

Transistor power lines: Responsive

Output signal: pinging....

Ping completed:

Sent packets: 10

Received packets: 10

Missed packets: 0

IRR is fully tested and ready for use. Would you like to view porn? [y/n]

n

Are you sure? [y/n]

y

Really? Are you OK? [y/n]

y

I know how to win this! Would you like to view porn? [y/y]

*********************

Eh, fuck it.

*********************

y

Displaying porn...

************************

A video of lesbians came up on the screen and... yeah, take a guess.

***********************

Porn video complete. Any other requests? [y/n]

n

initializing shut down...

Booting down...

Bye bye.

*************************

The lights turned off and the fans stopped whirring. I kind of forgot why I put that video in there. Is it wrong that I can recite an HD 3D porn video in Binary from my head? I’ll prove it, it starts off with

010100110110100001100101001000000110010101100001011001110110010101110010011011000111100100100000011001110111001001100001011000100110001001100101011001000010000001101101011110010010000001110111011001010110110001101100001011010110010101101110011001000110111101110111011001010110010000100000011011010110010101101101011000100110010101110010

but it gets really juicy at

01010011011010000110010100100000011101110110000101110011001000000111001001101001011001000110100101101110011001110010000001101101011110010010000001101000011101010110011101100101001000000110001101101111011000110110101100100000011101110110100101110100011010000010000001101000011001010111001000100000011000100111001001100101011000010111010001110011001000000111001101101000011000010110101101101001011011100110011100100000011000010111010000100000011001010110000101100011011010000010000001100010011011110111010101101110011000110110010100101110

and I really like that part with

01010111011010000110000101110100001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100110011101010110001101101011001000000110110101100001011011100010000100100000010001000110100101100100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001110010011001010110000101101100011011000111100100100000011010100111010101110011011101000010000001110100011100100110000101101110011100110110110001100001011101000110010100100000011101000110100001100101001000000110001001101001011011100110000101110010011110010010000001101000011011110111000001101001011011100110011100100000011001100110111101110010001000000111000001101111011100100110111000111111001000000101010001101000011000010111010000100111011100110010000001101011011010010110111001100100001000000110111101100110001000000111001101100001011001000010000001110010011001010110000101101100011011000111100100101110.

I’m getting a boner just thinking about it! Just then Vinyl found me and walked up to me and I hid my computer stuff behind me. As she walked to me, she said,

"Hey dude. Been looking for ya. What's going on?"

"Oh not much. I might be leaving for an... err lengthy period of time pretty soon."

"I'm gonna miss you dude. Or, I could come along."

"Sorry but you- Wait... what if I..." I could bring Vinyl home with me! No, she wouldn't be able to adapt to Earth's violent cruel culture. I couldn't put her through the pain. "No, sorry it's a trip that only I can do with my skill. It will be pretty boring."

"Oh, OK then, but I'll be waiting for you when you get back." This will be harder than I thought.

"Thanks, I'll remember you while I'm there." She held something out in her hoof towards me. It was a shiny circle that looked like a vinyl record with the words 'NB + VS' on the edges and a picture of me and Vinyl at the party where we first met. I was tied up in rope.

"Here take this. It's a gift to celebrate our randomly picked anniversary day."

"It's nowhere near our anniversary."

"I know. I just needed an excuse to give this to you."

"Heh. Thanks, this is beyond awesome." She blushed a bit and giggled. I took the tiny disc and put it into my pocket. "I should probably head over to Canterlot now for the final preparations. After that, I got to go."

"Can I go with you?" I really did want her to come, but these are kind of secret plans of the MTSC.

"I'd like it if you did, but you can't. There is some top secret stuff that you have to have high security clearance to see."

"I don't know what that means, but fine. I'll just stay here then. Alone. Again." She started to look sad.

"Look, don't try to guilt trip me. This is already hard enough to do and I'll be back before you know it." She put on a relaxed smile on again and said,

"Right. I expect you to be home for dinner." She chuckled at that and so did I.

"You won't even notice I'm gone." I gave her one final hug and walked off toward Canterlot while carrying my tech with magic. I've gotten use to long walks by now and I knew where Canterlot was so I just trotted over there thinking about what has been happening on Earth while I was gone. Humans are far to unpredictable and illogical to even come close to guessing what they would do. I just gave up on trying to do that and thought about Vinyl. I'm going to miss those deep red eyes and perfect smile she has. I made my way to the same building that those nerd ponies were in and sure enough, they were all there... with a certain unwanted guest, Luna. I was nervous around her because she wanted to kill me on site and I imagine that she still does. Better be cautious around her. I walked over to the brown wooden rounded table and put my laptop, IRR and mostly finished MTSC blueprints. Luna had a stern look in her face. I explained how the MTSC worked and showed them each piece and how it will connect to the IRR and what the computer is for.  They all looked bewildered at the level of tech I had. Luna had the same scorn look on her face as if she didn't notice the highly advanced ultra complex tech I was explaining. We all brainstormed ideas and eventually finished the MTSC. It would involve heavy magic use to power it due to the lack of tech here and it was rather large, the size of a average 2 story home. Once we finished the designs, Luna said,

"Look, this is impressive and all, but why should we waste our time on this?" Classic stall tactic. She was going to tell me something but she couldn't do it just yet so she's stalling by asking me pointless questions. I will not take any of her bullshit. In rebuttal, I said,

"Cut the crap. You want to build this so you can get rid of me since you can't kill me. I've been watching you closer than you think and I now have a question for you, who's the one who succeeded in this little 'game' you're playing. I don't know much, but I can put two and two together and I know you’re planning something. You wouldn't just kill me with no reason. You had a good reason. My current theory is that you needed a human to manipulate and to do this you used some kind of spell that teleported someone from Earth to here, but there was a problem. My will to return to Earth was too strong and you couldn't control me enough to make me stay and Celestia found out about me.  So you needed me gone and then to try again on someone else. That explains how I got here. And, once you've heard I'm trying to leave, you took that chance as quick as you could. But what I don't know, is who. Who is this puppet of yours? And what do you need him for? And I also bet you decided to play it safe by getting some one who had just died. Someone with a soul but no body. Someone who couldn't go back to Earth. So Luna, how much am I right?" She turned furious but quickly calmed down and said,

"You don't need to know about my royal business. I just don't like the idea of humans here, so I want you to go back home, which is your goal also." The other ponies were looking at Luna with worried faces. Luna can't just ignore this. I guess I'm right then. But I'm not done getting the truth out. Right now I just want to go home and I'll get the truth out of her later.

"So that's it. You’re playing the 'you don't need to know' card. Fine. It doesn't matter for me anyway. But this isn't over. I will find out the truth." I growled at Luna. The other ponies still looked shocked about this. Well, back to the task at hand. I finished the designs and now I just need to build it. "OK, so who's going to get the supplies?" A slightly shorter, reddish brown pony got up from the table and said,

"I'll get them." He walked out of the building and for the time he was gone, there was an uneasy silence in the room. He returned after a few minutes with the necessary metals and conductors being held together with his magic. He laid them out on the table and we all started bending and smelting the fine circuitry into the soon-to-be-MTSC. I was blasting ahead of the rest of them like this was second-hand nature, and it kinda was. Luna just sat there still staring at me and watched what I was planning. We made numerous improvements while building such as now it was the size of an average elevator and it could be started up and used in 2 minutes and then could be used every 8 minutes due to the extreme heat generated by it. It took us all day, about 7 hours or so and it was very late into the night when we finished it. We decided to keep it hidden and locked up so that nopony can use it. Only I had the key. I went to the castle and Celestia was nice enough to give me a guest room for the night. The royal bed was nice, but I had the same nightmare as before. I woke up screaming about 8 A.M. or so and a royal guard came into my room and asked,

"Is everything alright, Guest Blaze?" I responded by saying,

"I'm fine, just a bad dream." The guard nodded and left. I got up from the bed and trotted out of the castle. I found Celestia at her throne as I walked out. She tried to say 'hello' but I had already left the castle. I went to the same meeting room as before and found about half of the ponies there. Then I said a quick 'hello' and sat down. They all stopped their conversation and looked at me. I got annoyed and said,

"I don't have time for this. Let's just get this started. Where are the rest of the ponies?" The same short pony as before said,

"Luna has," He paused and gulped."Requested they stay out of this." I slammed my hoof and the table cursed,

"Damnit Luna! No matter, I can do this with you few. Follow me." Hmm, what does Luna have to gain from doing this? I led the ponies out to the hidden MTSC and unlocked the door. As planned, they started to shoot magic at the device and it was powering up. The blinking lights on the control panel lit up and a swirling purple and white portal opened up. I was shaking with anticipation when I opened the laptop. I plugged in the IRR to the MTSC and it read the signal with no interference.  I watched the boot sequence.

**********************

BOOT:root; kernel

**********************

Starting.....

Firmware booted successful.

Graphics booted successful.

CPU Voltage at 63%.

Temp. at 42% max.

ERROR: Video memory conflicting with RAM.

*********************

My eyes went wide at this and time appeared to stop. How could this fail!? I waited and held my breath for what might happen next.

**********************

Forcing boot static RAM to dynamic RAM...

Success.

All systems checked and ready for use.

Process completed: 1 successful attempt out of 2 attempts.

*********************

Welcome user:

U:___________

P:___________

*********************

Whew. I almost thought that would have failed. I quickly inputted my username and password into the boxes and hit enter.

***********************

Username and Password accepted:

Welcome, User: Dylansl

Start: Blu-tooth network scan

Establishing Blu-tooth uplink...

Blu-tooth connection found for deivce: IRR

Would you like to connect? [y/n]

y

Connecting....

Uplink to IRR successful.

Run diagnostics for system hardware and logic gates? [y/n]

n

IRR is ready for use.

Search: def Earth():

Searching for Earth....

Tracking all major solar systems for planets with 50% percent or higher carbon atmosphere...

3 planets found.

Running extra radiation tests...

Earth has been found.

Travel time: 2 minutes.

*************************

Wait... WHAT?! ONLY TWO MINUTES? That means... Equestria is near Earth’s solar system. Damn. I never thought we were that close. I thought the journey would take years and span multiple galaxies. And this is still a bad design. I could probability shorten that to 2 seconds if this was made on Earth. This just might mean I could go back and forth...

**************************

Would you like to open the portal to Earth? [y/n]

y

Commencing portal run#423: Earth

Portal opening at lat:4495.43 lon: 4234.95

Destination found.

Displaying input image.

**************************

I could see my room in the portal. It was still dark and messy. Oh, how I missed that room. I looked around at everyone else and they look bewildered at what they had just seen. They were all speechless, just staring at the portal.

**************************

All systems checked and ready for use.

Would you like to open the portal to organic life? [y/n]

y

Enter biocode on eye scanner.

Waiting for input....

Input found.

Loading biosystems...

Biosystems found and ready for use.

Change Biosystem:Dylan(P) to Dylan(H)

Biomodels linked and ready for change.

Portal now ready for:Dylan(P). Please step in.

*****************************

This was it. This would be my last site here. I don’t plan on coming back. Before I could change my mind, I waved and said,

“Goodbye all. It was fun here.” I then walked over to the portal and jumped in. I didnt feel anything but I could see all my molecules being split apart and shooting at high speeds through the emptiness of space. There’s Pluto, and the other planets as they fly by. I could see Earth within a minute and I noticed that my molecules started joining together. First my brain was formed and everything joined after that. I was human again. As I looked over my non-neon green skin again and flexed my fingers, I could see that I was standing in my room. Then I just forgot everything. What happened? I feel strange. OK, I’m in my room... oh yeah! I was trying to stop that greedy politician. I hopped on my computer and noticed there was an odd layer of dust on it. That’s odd, it wasn't that dusty a few minutes ago. I woke up the computer and checked the clock. It was August 4, 9 P.M. But... but... how... it was July, 24 just a few minutes ago. How could this happen? No, probably just a glitched clock. But wait, that wouldn't explain the odd amount of dust. Did I go into a coma? No, I’m still alive and not even hungry and haven't been found out. Hmm, I should check the news to see what’s happened over the week. I opened up CNN and scrolled through the articles.

Order to launch nuclear missiles at China issued by President.

America has started WW3 by order of the President.

Politician that has been accused of taking bribes is elected president.

Politician has been accused of taking bribes but found innocent due to lack of evidence.

Oh... my... god... it’s all my fault. I started WW3. If only I could have been quicker. I doomed the world to an apocalypse all because I couldn't finish my hack in time. No wait, I still had time! I can stop this! I just got to-*SLAM* I turned around and shall someone standing in my door and saw the door being kicked open. He spoke with a heavy Russia accent,

“Criminal against state, user dylansl, you’re under arrest for stealing and altering top secret documents through hacking.” Oh fuck. How did they find me?! And why is he Russian? Why would Russia want me? He held up large revolver and cocked it. “Now come with me, or have your brain be all over wall.”

“You come into my house and just expect me to give up? Well too bad. 5, 4, 3, 2-”

“Counting will no get you nowhere.”

“1.” I shielded my eyes and I heard a loud bang go off and a flash of light. My flashbang trap worked. While he was stunned, I ran up to him and did an uppercut straight to the jaw. It connected but he didn't move. I was never that strong. I then wrestled him for the gun but he punched me and I stumbled back. I dived through his legs then rolled forward then got up and ran. He fired two bullets in my direction.*BANG BANG* I ducked instinctively and knew the bullets would miss anyway. I rounded myself up the stairs running on the wall. I looked behind me for a brief instant and I could see he was close behind. I found a window in my pursuit and jumped through it. He fired another two rounds. *BANG BANG* I fell down a story and landed with a roll onto grass and got up while still in momentum and ran. He fired two bullets.*BANG BANG* Both missed and I looked back and saw him chasing me from only feet away. I turned a corner into an alley with a gate and saw a pile of boxes that lead over the gate. I ran up the boxes then I wall jumped and grabbed onto the top of the gate. He was out of bullets and I knew it. If he had only one round left, I would have been an easy target. I pulled myself over and dropped on the other side. Mid-fall, his gun clicked indicating that he was out of ammo. I yelled,

“Next time, count your bullets!” As I rounded the corner knowing he wouldn't follow because he couldn't make that jump. He yelled out some incomprehensible word in Russian as I dashed off.

Now, I just need to get to my house. As I ran down the alleyway looking for a path back, I felt something in my pocket. Strange, I usually don’t carry anything with me except my phone which I left on my desk. I pulled out a small circular thing. It looked like a small vinyl record with the letters NB + VS printed on the edge and a small photo of a neon green unicorn tied up in rope next to a white unicorn with blue hair and purple glasses. Then it hit me. I remembered everything. Becoming a pony. Meeting Vinyl. Going on dates with her. Building the MTSC. Going home. Everything was back. I fell forward on my hands as all my memories flooded back. A tear was brought to my eye as I realized she was gone. You never truly love something until it's gone.

“Vinyl...” I whispered. No. NO. I WILL NOT LOSE HER! LEAVING HER WAS MISTAKE! I WILL SEE HER AGAIN! This will take me going deep into secret laboratories to get the necessary tech and a team of agents, but I will do it. Even if it means I die. This. Is. My. Goal. Live or die.

Chapter 8: Taking Back The Fort

August 4, 9:10 P.M

I got back up from the ground with renewed determination and fire in my eyes. I looked at my gift from Vinyl one more time and then ran down the alley. I found a path back to my house but, of fucking course, it was guarded.  There were two guards, both wearing CIA suits and had sunglasses on even though it was dark outside. Wait, I looked closer into their glasses and could see some kind of screen inside of them. They were high tech glasses. This will be harder then I thought. I can't do stealth, at all. But, it was my house, and I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

I picked up a rock the size of my palm and threw it against the wall behind me. When it hit, there was a loud 'clank' and I could see one of the guards walking toward it. I hid behind a nearby dumpster and waited until he passed. He passed me and I tripped him and kicked his celiac plexus then grabbed his neck to prevent him from breathing or screaming. He passed out after a few seconds and I released my grip. I took off his glasses and suit and put them on. He was about a foot taller and much more tan, but it was still pretty dark.

I walked up to the other guard started to talk like a CIA agent would.

"Yo, dawg! What's up, I just took a whiz."

"Baws awesome, bro! Ya fo shizzle bout that?"

"Straight up, dawg. I need da check da bitche's place, broham."

"Aight, aight, I'll watch the bitches out here." How the fuck did that work? Anyway, I walked into the house and sat down at my computer. I disabled the warheads which took me about 5 seconds. I've done that so many times, I made a program that all I had to do was click on the right weapon and hit enter. Nukes rarely had security. Then I remade my IRR and the MTSC on a blueprint program and posted it to an open-source dev ideas website. People should start looking through these and improve them. Then I went through my old contacts. I needed a team of specialists for this job. I found the person who I would need first and contacted her in a chatroom.

Vasd: Dylansl, long time no sea.

Dylansl: I guess so. I'm putting a team together. It's to build something.

Vasd: I already know. There's only one person on this Earth that could design that MTSC.

Dylansl: You're quick.

Vasd: Yes I am. Quick enough to tell you that the shirt you're wearing is ugly as fuck.

Dylansl: Stole it from the CIA guy to get inside. And I'm impressed that you managed to get past my sensors.

Vasd: I'm using your stealth suit design. And I gotta say, it's pretty nice. Also, the other CIA guy is sleeping like a baby.

Dylansl: let's see, the fact that you could avoid detection by me and the CIA, and how you knocked the guard out that quickly, and you can see me, I would say you,

I pointed behind me out a window toward a ledge on a building.  I saw a quick flash of light telling me I was right.

Dylansl: are right there.

Vasd: Not bad. Mind if I come in?

Dylansl: Why do I have the feeling you already are?

"Because I am. " Said a female voice with a Spanish accent. She stood at my room's door and was wearing a skin tight black suit with a small pistol on her hip and a Remington sighted hunting rifle in her hands. She was tall and skinny and about 23. Her face was spotless and a pale white with smooth cheeks.

"You surprise me as always, former secret agent Cortez."

"My pleasure. So, whats the plan?" I spent the next hour or so explaining why I need everyone and why I'm building the MTSC. I left out the parts of them being ponies. "For a chance to work with you again, I'll do it. Mind if I sleep here?"

"There's a guest room to the right." She walked out with her hips swaying and said,

"Good night." I decided sleep was the best thing right now. I jumped onto my bed and quickly fell asleep but not before I looked at the small record from Vinyl.

August 5, 7:02 A.M.

I woke up feeling the soft fluffiness of my pillow.  No wait, that wasn't a pillow, that was... uh... What was that? I snuggled my nose on the object and opened my eyes. It was a women. About 18 and had striped blue hair and was white. She opened her eyes and they were a deep lustful crimson.  I whispered,

"Vinyl?" She smiled and said,

"Wake up." Huh? She said it again, slightly louder,"Wake up!" Then I was flung from the bed onto the ground. I opened my eyes once again and noticed that Cortez was standing in front of me, upside down wearing a yellow T-shirt and black shorts. She said,

"Wake up and get off the floor." I shook my head and got up off the ground.  I glanced over to my bed and saw nothing. My face quickly lost the smile as I realized that Vinyl wasn’t there. "Dylan," Cortez said in her heavy Spanish accent, "We should get going. And you look so cute on the floor like that. And, why did you say vinyl? I thought you hated old things." She smirked while saying that last sentence.

"It's no one and-"

"One? So it's a person? Strange name. Could you tell me about this 'Vinyl'?"

"Later, and where did you get the clothes?"

"It's the bioadaptive cloth."

"I didn't program it to have normal clothes."

"A friend changed it."

"And, what were you doing so close to me? You don’t live anywhere near me and I never told you to travel over here."

"You, of all people, should know."

"You noticed that America was going into WW3 and you knew I would never let that happen, so you thought I was in serious trouble. Then you decided to pay me a visit, but, I wasn't there. You camped out on top of a nearby building and waited for my return. By the speedy response last night, I would say you were watching for 2 days."

"As always, you're right. So, who or what is our first target?"

"I thought you would never ask. Luckily for us, it's a both who and what. And you will love where this is. You remember Bentley?"

"The genius who solves problems with explosives. I almost miss him."

"That's the who, now for the what. We're going to need a laser. An experimental one that is being developed by Bentley. Best of all, it's in a top secret heavy guarded lab somewhere a mile underground in Ohio." She simply chuckled and said nothing. "Also, Bentley may or may not want to kill me." She put on a confused face and asked,

"Why?"

"He's a brony." I wasn't an anti-brony, but I did tease him about being an explosives expert and somehow at the same time liking colorful ponies. He took it more personally then I thought. And I'm afraid that I may have to tell him about Equestria, which is something I don't want to do. I'll use it as a last resort card. Let's just skip the boring next few hours which I mainly just sent checking my email and watching porn. Soon, it was nightfall and I was at my computer at my house while Cortez was at the secret lab entrance. She chimed in through a walkie talkie,

"Do you have a visual?" I accepted the incoming signals and viewed what Cortez was viewing through a small camera near her eyes. She was standing at the entrance to the lab. The door was rusted with moss covering every crack on the small stone opening.  I answered her question with,

"Yes. The door is most likely locked with an analog closed circuit loc-"

"It's a plain door. It's not locked." I almost got sad. I wanted to hack that.

"Fine. Then open it up and go down." She threw open the door with a loud, ear splitting *CREEEEEEAK*. I was running full security tests on this place. I didn't want any surprises.

"Anything waiting for me below?" Scans picked up nothing. Nothing means something.

"Not sure, but there appears to be some kind of EMP bubble around the place. I won't be able to help you while it's active." she slid down the ladder and said,

"So I need to take out the EMP generators. Got it." There was a loud explosion of gun fire from across the room and I lost the signal. Damnit! I yelled out 'Cortez' hoping she would answer. Still just static. I slammed my hand on the desk hoping for some kind of signal to let me know she's okay. I held my breath in fear of what could happen. The visuals were restored and greeted me with bellowing smoke. The smoke died down and I could the the EMP generators rusting in a scrap pile. Relieved, I said,

"Cortez, I thought you were a goner." I composed myself and spoke with more seriousness. "This is supposed to be a stealth mission! What were you thinking?!" Cortez just shrugged and continued down the white hall.

"I have found another trap." Cortez said. Of course it wasn't too long until there were trip lasers. I started to blast through the defenses looking for the switch the controlled the lasers. I fired one shot of code after another wearing down the security defenses. Wait, something's off here. It shouldn't be this easy. I said,

"Cortez, some thing isn't right here. It's too easy. Almost like... they’re letting us in"

"I'll be on the look out." Just then, a hidden door slides open and someone in a lab coat walks out. He was about 17 and spoke with a American accent. He was skinny with average height and had a smooth face and green eyes and brown hair that came down to his eyes. He was glaring at Cortex with intense eyes. He was tossing a unarmed grenade, that had Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark painted on it, up and down in his hand.

"You come into my lab and break my defense. And you of all people. I should kill you where you stand. I'm not coming back. And I know you're listening Dylan. "

Back in Ponyville in Vinyl's point of view.

I laid there in my bed and thought about throwing a welcome back party. It would have been nice if Neon at least told me when he was going to be back. I guess I could go see Octavia in the mean time. I slid off my bed and trotted out the door. I need to talk with Pinkie about what kind of party would Neon like. No wait, he doesn't really like ponies that much. I guess just him and I will spend a day together, but where to? He did say he wanted to visit Fillydelphia sometime. But Cloudsdale does sound more fun. Maybe I could even trick him into drinking that rainbow juice. That would be a funny story to tell our foals. I smiled at that thought. Starting a family isn't something I want to do, but it's different with Neon. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but still, I like my life of partying and foals might ruin that. I'm actually kind of surprised that we haven't 'broke the bed' yet. Maybe he just doesn't want to. I arrived at Octavia's house and knocked on the door. No answer. I opened the door and walked in. I called out,

"Yo! Octavia! Ya home?" Still no answer. I should check upstairs. I heard water running through one of the doors and opened it. It was a pristine, fancy bathroom. The porcelain was shining and had a soft reflecting glow. The mirrors were reflecting a stripe of light and had no marks or spots on them. Octavia was in a clear, glass door shower washing her long black hair. She noticed me and said,

“Hello, give me a minute.” She turned off the water and dried her self off with a towel. She then put on her bow-tie and combed her hair. I leaned on the wall, rolling my eyes.

“Last time I checked, the gala wasn’t tonight.” I mocked Octavia. She brushed my insult off and replied with,

“You should always look your best. There might be somepony who would want you.”

“Oh, really? I haven’t taken a shower in 2 months and I already got a stallion.” Octavia made a sick face and turned around.

“2 months! There is no way anypony could live without cleaning themselves for 2 months!” I simply chuckled and said,

“I don’t think anypony cares about appearance that much. Well, except you.” She finished up dressing and handed me a comb.

“You need this, your hair is simply atrocious.” I got up from the floor, looked at the comb and smirked.

“My hair—is perfect. And, it doesn't need to be combed.” Octavia frowned.

“I’ll clean it for you.” I backed away waving my hooves in front of my face.

“Hey hey, don’t be hasty. My hair is fine!” She didn't listen and only got closer. When she was in range, she pounced on me and I rolled out of the way. She came back for a second attempt screaming,

“I will comb your hair!” I ran and dived forward, under her. She passed by overhead and I looked back. She was getting up off the ground. I ran forward and burst trough the bathroom door. After a bit more chasing, I found the way out and ran through the front door. Last time she tried to comb my hair, I looked like some high class pony that lived in Canterlot. I hate looking like those snooty ponies.

Back to Dylan’s point of view.

I put my voice on speaker phone and said,

“Bentley, I need you. We are-” I was cut off by him saying,

“I don’t care. Leave now, or else this little grenade will be pinless.” He said with anger in his voice. I instructed Cortez to stay there. He was serious. I ran a scan on his vocals and he wasn’t lying. He really would kill her. I said,

“Let me finish first. We are build-” He cut me off again by saying,

“The MTSC. I know. That’s not all I noticed. I thought of why you needed to make that and the only thing that I could come up with is... you found something off-world. I was interested also, but I know you needed what I was working on, and I couldn’t let that happen. So, before I use my Dash grenade on you, tell me, what do you need the MTSC for? You have one chance to convince me.” Fuck! He put me into a corner. He always was good at interrogating people.

“*sigh*, Fine. You win. Just, don’t start drooling.” He gets confused and stops tossing his grenade. ”We’re,” I gulped, for fear of him not believing us.”Building the MTSC because, Equestria... is near the solar system. Enough so that it would take as little as 2 seconds to reach at speeds post-light.” He loosened his grip and the grenade fell out of his hands. His eyes went wide.

“Equestria...but...but...” He shook his head and became angry again. ”Really? You think you can fool me that easy?” He said, raising his voice.

“Well, I was there. Ask me any question.”

“How long were you there?”

“A week.”

“And you brought nothing back?”

“Well, I did bring one thing. It was all I had. Cortez, open up the holographic display on your hand.” She held her hand out, open, and pressed a button on the side. I put the memento Vinyl gave me into a nearby 3D scanner on my desk. The hologram on Cortez’s hand lit up and the small record appeared, spinning. Bentley glanced at it then said,

“And, what exactly, is this! This doesn’t tell me anything!”

“Look at the photo in the middle.” I instructed him. He took a step closer and peered into the spinning disk. His jaw dropped once he noticed it.

“But... those...” He recomposed himself again and said, “The one on the right is Vinyl Scratch. But, who’s the bright green one in rope on the side?”

“That’s... well... me. Or at least it was while I was there.” He rubbed his beard-less chin and said,

“You... well, this isn’t conclusive, but, I suppose there’s enough for me to believe you for now.” Yes! ”So then, you need my laser, which lucky for you, I finished about 20 minutes ago. The only problem, it maybe my design, but this laser was suppose to be used in military combat so I doubt I’ll be able to take it home. Plan 40?” Plan 40. I still remember all those plans we made years ago. Plan 40 is create a explosion to distract people then leave a fake dead body of the escapee to make people think the person was dead and not trying to escape and in special circumstances, we also use it to steal something and escape. The fake dead body wasn’t a physical object, it was a hologram. In agreement, I said,

“Plan 40.” Cortez and Bentley nodded and Bentley took out some kind of small iron pellet.

“I’ve been wanting to use these.” He raised them up in the air and I started redirecting cameras so that they couldn't see what was going on. Bentley threw down the metal pellets and a loud bang was heard along with smoke filling the room. I heard an alarm go off and I was creating a mental checklist about what to do. Step 1: Create distraction. Check. Step 2: Leave hologram pretending to be dead body of Bentley. Cortez just did that. Step 3: Grab laser. I looked around the maps of the lab I had and found the laser. I said to Cortez,

“The laser is on level B floor 34 room 69.” I sent her coordinates and a path which she followed using a holographic line shooting out from the floor. The white shiny walls were a blur as she moved speedily through the hall. I noticed two life forms, humans, with semi-automatic weapons. I told Cortez,

“Cortez, watch out, there are two people with weapons around the corner. I suggest-” She kept on moving at full speed and when she was at the corner she grabbed the edge of the wall and swung on it, kicking the two guards in the face and knocking them out.

“I’m the fighting expert here, remember?” Cortez reminded me. That was true, and I also didn’t know you could do that with those gloves. Not their intended use, but clever nevertheless. “This place is suppose to be heavily guarded. Where is everyone?”

“It appears to be take your daughter out to work day. So they all must be in the lunch room or something.” Why else would I pick today to attack? Cortez jumped through a hole in the ground and said,

“There it is.” The laser was small, about the size of your hand. Strange, I thought it would be rather large.

“Good. Now grab it and get out of there.” She broke the laser out of it’s cage on the desk and slipped it into her pocket. She then turned around and dashed out of the room. I heard a beep and a notification came up on my computer that said, ‘Bentley would like to open communications.’ I clicked yes and I could see him. He said,

“Where’s Cortez? I’m waiting at the elevator, leave codes ready.”

“She’s rounding the corner as we speak.” She dashed up to Bentley and then Bentley opened the elevator door and they both jumped inside. Bentley then spammed the ‘lobby’ button. The elevator slowly lurched upward and Bentley started counting.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” *BOOM* What the fuck was that?! Sounded like a sonic boom. Right as he said ‘1’ there was a loud explosion that shook the elevator. Annoyed, I said,

“Bentley! What the fuck man! We only needed the laser! What did you blow up!?” Bentley smiled and said,

“I never volunteered for that project. And, that was my new Dash grenade. It creates a sonic rainboom by filling a room with rainbow colored smoke that expands faster than the speed of sound.” After that, they sat in the elevator without saying anything and then the door opened and they strolled out. A yellow mustang came cruising up. Bentley opened up the driver’s door and hopped in. He then motioned for Cortez to do the same for the passenger’s seat. She did and he pressed a few buttons. Once he finished, the car turned around and shot forward, without Bentley driving. He laid back and said,

“Car that drives its self. Gotta love these babies. Get your 5-gallon hats on, because we’re going to Texas!” I’ve learned not to correct him on expressions or phrases anymore. He only argues that he’s right and never listens.

Let’s head back to Vinyl’s point of view.

I hid under my bed, it was so obvious that she would never find me! Octavia slammed open the door and exclaimed,

"Hiding under your bed won't work a second time!" What?! I better keep moving. I looked over to my right and found my alarm clock. I hatched a pretty clever plan. Once I saw Octavia's hoof under the bed, I hit the alarm button and the loud, ground shaking music came pouring out. Octavia tripped on the floor and landed face first. This was my only chance, I dashed out from under my bed, avoiding Octavia's attempt at grabbing my leg and ran out my door. Where else can I hide? Maybe I could hide in Neon's room, Octavia doesn't know about him yet. I made a final dash for Twilight's tree and Octavia jumped from out of nowhere, surprising me. We then got tangled up and rolled across the grass. We hit a tree after a few rotations and I looked up at my hair. Octavia just stood there, with a smug look on her face. My hair was combed. It was long and flowing, a lot like Octavia's hair. I admired my hair a bit, almost liking it, then banged my head forward and my hair returned to normal, much better. Octaiva lost her smug look and sighed. She then told me,

"What am I going to do with you." I smiled at her and replied with,

"Like I said, my hair is perfect." She then started to trot off and I got up and followed after her. "Where ya headed?"

"Not sure. I guess I could tune my cello-" I cut her off saying,

"That's no fun. I have a better idea! Bring your cello and yourself to the music-off in Manehatten!" I then ran off toward my house to pick up a few records. I found my collection of favorite records, which I leave on my DJ stand. I flipped through the book and found a record that had the words 'Vinyl and Octavia duet' writing in gold cursive letters in the center. This song is always a showstopper. Neon would love to see this! Oh... he's gone. I closed my eyes slightly and lowered the record as I thought about him. He was the laidback, clever, funny guy I always wanted. He gets me and I get him. A tear started to form in my eye as I realised that I wouldn't be able to see him for a while. The tear in my eye fell out becuase Neon was a candle in my life, illuminating my dark unknown path. I wanted, no, needed him. I was loney, sad and needed someone. Someone who I could tell everything, all my problems and feelings, and he would listen. He wouldn't judge me, he would help me. He was special. He was perfect. And I just let him leave. I never told him about how much I really needed him. I didn't even know myself, until I realized he was gone. Why? Just why did he have to go? He meant the world to me and I never told him. I slid down on the floor and put my face in my hooves and cried. The tears slowly fell from my face as I thought about all the dates I've been with him on, all the fun we've had, all the times when we loved each other. No, stop it Vinyl. He'll be back. I wiped my tears off and got back up. My only question, is when? How long must I suffer before he gets back? Please get home soon, Neon. I love you.

Back in Dylan's point of view.

Why do I feel so sad all of a sudden? And I was thinking of Vinyl, strange. I shook off the thought and turned my attention back to Bentley. He was hanging upside down with his feet on a plank of wood going through the ceiling. Cortez was there also, leaning on a nearby wall, all of us in my room. I was sitting at my desk and I told them about my adventures in Equestria. Bentley was excited and Cortez looked skeptical. I told them all about Vinyl, about the MTSC, and my current theory for Luna's plan. Bentley said,

"Man, Luna. I never thought she would do such a thing. And how on Earth could you fall in love with a pony?"

"Love takes many forms. I didn't care that she was a pony. She loved me and I loved her too. She would still love me if she was human. Bodies won't separate us."

"Did you get to fuck her?" Bentley asked with a straight face.

"I'm not like you. I don't want to have sex with ponies. We love each other emotionally, not sexually. When we want to, we will. There's no rush." Cortez looked slightly disgusted as I answered his question. Couldn't blame her, she hadn't even ‘herd’ (Sorry, had to. Okay, this is the last time I'm making puns.) of My Little Pony, so then Bentley convinced her to watch an episode. She didn't seem too interested and Bentley just threw his hands up into the air and gave up. I got tired of waiting around and started to debrief them on the next mission.

"So our next target is a experimental wormhole portal opener. It's located in the Arizona desert." Bentley flipped and jumped down and said,

"You could do this easily in Equestria. Why is this so hard to do here?"

"I couldn't do this in Equestria easily, and even then, they had magic there." Cortez spoke up,

"Arizona, isn't that where Jack lives? And, the last time I've heard of him, he was working on some secret project." Bentley added,

"Jack? The mechanic who could build things quickly and a master at cars?" I answered all their questions with,

"Yes, and he's our next target. It shouldn't be too hard to get him on our side. He’s an old friend." Bentley pulled out another grenade, this time with Applejack's cutie mark. "Geez, Bentley. How much firepower do you carry on you?" He chuckled and said,

"Enough to destroy a 2-story house at any time. And I have a grenade for each of the mane 6. Each having something about it that relates to them. This one in my hand I call an appletree becuase regular grenades are called pineapples and pines are trees, so yeah. And how it relates to Applejack, you'll have to find out later." After seeing the epicness of the Dash grenade, I was curious to see Fluttershy's grenade. I should ask him to make a Vinyl grenade. Vinyl...

Chapter 9: Going home

August 6, 2:48 A.M.

I sat in a large semi in the co-drivers seat. We bounced along the night road with Bentley and Cortez asleep.  It was cold and I had a blanket with the pattern of computer code wrapped around me. My legs were being held up, next to my chest as I slowly let out breaths of warm steam that fogged up the window I was looking out of. My face felt heavy and rusty as my eyes drifted in and out of sight. It shouldn't be this cold, I thought as I rubbed my eyes. I needed sleep. But my face was freezing and I shivered in the cold. What kept me up all night is: why is it so fucking cold? We're heading toward the Arizona desert. Rainfall, humidity, wind, and everything else but temperature indicated that we were in the right place. This just isn't right. Unless... it had something to do with the portal. Although wouldn't people notice that it was unusually cold? I haven't heard anything about this. My mind pondered solutions until I noticed something. It was a brief speck of light. I kept looking outside until I could see it again. It did it again. The same speck of light. I noticed a pattern. The road and the signs are repeating themselves. And once they finish a loop, it resets. I figured it out, we're trapped. This is all fake. I threw off the blanket and rushed over to Bentley in the drivers seat, asleep. I shake him until he begins to stir.  He yawns and says,

"What time is it?" I point a finger to Cortez, who's sleeping on the backseats and say,

"Wake her up." He slowly hops up and shakes her. Instinctively, her fist shot out nailing Bentley in the nose. He grabs his nose and screams,

"OW! What the fuck!" Cortez opened her eyes and said,

"Sorry, instincts. And what is it? It's not even morning." I answer her with,

"You will see. Bentley, stop the truck." He complies and presses a few buttons. He grunts and says,

"That's odd. It says we're not moving. What the fuck?" I smirked in victory. I knew it. I said,

"Because we're not." I open up the door and hop out. My feet land on hard concrete and there's a rift of waves darting out from my feet, disrupting the road and everything else. The rifts get bigger and everything looks unstable. The rifts stop and everything molds back together. I start to walk toward the speck of light I keep seeing. I hit a smooth wall after about 20 steps and feel around it. My hands meet something that protrudes slightly. I reel my hand back punch the object. There's a shattering sound of glass and the object breaks, revealing some kind of projector. Then the outside highway turns all black and fades away to reveal a white round room. The temperature also returns to normal. I then yell,

"The game's over. Show yourself." I hear a hissing sound and a cloud of steam comes out in a rectangular pattern near me. Then a door lifts open and someone short walks in. The person is wearing full body clothing so I can't make out anything about them. They had blue jeans and a grey long-sleeve jacket on with a stripped blue and orange scarf and hat. But, I could make out one thing, the person's eyes. They were a deep grey. Jack had grey eyes. I remember him being slightly taller, but that was years ago. The masked person, who I'm believing to be Jack, points toward the door they came out and then walks through it, motioning for us to come with them. I shot a quick glance toward Bentley and Cortez, telling them to follow me and watch out. We all piled into the dark room through the door and could make out nothing. Then a large electric hum could be heard and overhead lights popped on. The room wasn't small. It was enormous. There were brown wooden crates stacked up as far as the eye could see. Each of them unlabeled, but important looking. I walked down the current isle I was in and saw the same person as before. They reached out their hand, which was covered by a glove, and I grabbed it. They then ran, at speeds that I could barely keep up with. It was only a few seconds before we found ourselves in some lap. With the portal. All done. It was just big to fit in a closet and was made of pure quartz and shined slightly in the dull light. There was nothing else but a few metal rods sticking out of the side.  I had assumed the person next to me was Jack so I said,

"Thanks, Jack. But why do all this? Where's everyone else? And why trap us in that room?" He looked down and spoke for the first time.

"Jack is dead." It was a girl! She had a soft, edgeless voice. "The project got finished and he was killed from some kind of poising. Everyone left. They never looked back. I'm jack's daughter. I was left here and no one noticed me. I couldn't leave, no one took me home. I've lived here for years now. Once I noticed that you were coming near, I was scared. I used an illusion and trapped you there until I knew what to do. I had no clue what to do when you figured it out. No one has ever been able to figure it out." She took off her long-sleeve jacket, reveling a 15 year old female body. She then took off her hat and scarf and her long, flowing blonde hair shot out. She had Jack's face. She must really be his daughter. "Take the portal and go. I don't want you here." I might need her. If she really is this closely related to Jack, she must be good at building and driving. Bentley and Cortez are close behind me when I said,

"We need this portal. But, I want you to come with us. What is your name?" The girl blanches at the thought of this. She held out her hand, wanting me too shake it. I did and she said,

"My name is Jessica. I would love to come with you. I've been stuck here for years. But what do you need the portal for?" Bentley runs up and pushes me out of the way and grabs her hand. He then shakes her hand rapidly while saying,

"Hi! I'm Bentley! I'm awesome! And single!" He also had a overly happy grin. The girl raises her other hand, puts it into a fist, then launches it right at his jaw. It connects and Bentley stumbles back a few feet. Jessica calmly says,

"I'm not your girlfriend." Bentley argues with,

"Not yet!" He then jumps toward her and hugs tightly, not letting go. Jessica's face turned a bright red as she just stood there. I should probably do something before he loses his penis. Or not. This could be funny. It took about 10 seconds for her to grab his torso and spin him around. He let go of her and she sent him flying a few feet skidding across the floor. Cortez just giggled. We need to get back to the mission. I commanded them,

"Bentley, Cortez, go unplug the portal. Jessica, try not to break any of Bentley's bones." Jessica growled,

"If he touches me one more time..." she folded her arms and glared at Bentley. "Now, back to my original question. Why do you need the portal?" I replied with,

"To visit somewhere. It is past the solar system and-" Bentley jumped toward her and exclaimed,

"Equestria!" She looked down and chuckled. She looked back at me then at Bentley. She then asked,

"And you really expect me to believe that?" Wait, she didn't even ask what Equestria is and she already knew it enough to not believe it. Does that mean... I just might be able to use this for my advantage. Bentley answered her with,

"Yeah! Ask Dylan! He was there! Luna teleported him there!" Her eyes whip out at me. I nervously said,

"Uh... well... yeah..." Cortez called out,

"Bentley! This is a two-person job. I could use help." Bentley then walked over to Cortez and continued his job. Jessica continued to glare at me like I'm crazy. I better do this quickly. I said,

"I was there. The only proof I have is this." I held out the disk Vinyl gave me. She glanced at it and looked back at me. She continued to glare at me. I guess she doesn't believe me. "You've lived here your whole life. You've been isolated and no one has been nice to you. If I had to guess, you're a pegisister because you have been alone and when you saw the nice, friendly ponies on screen, you gained hope. You wanted to go there, so you dreamed about it. Well, now you can. Just come with me and you will see all the ponies in real life." It looks like I hit a nerve. She just stood there, stunned and wide-eyed. She then shook her head in disbelief. She then sighed and said,

"You're right. I do like the show. If there was a chance I could live in Equestria, I would take it. Actually, I've been working on building a virtual reality of Equestria. It's all I could do. Everyday, it seemed to be more and more impossible. I haven't touched the project in a year. But, if you're telling the truth, and Equestria is real, I will devote my life to going there." She kneels on her right knee.

"Thank you, but we're informal. There's no need to do that." She stands back up with her eyes red and stained with tears. She then lunges toward me and brings me into a tight hug. "Uhh, You can let go now." Just then Bentley joins the hug. Cortez comes walking up and says,

"Okay, you can end the group hug now. We should get the portal on the truck now." In agreement, I said,

"Right. Cortez, help me with this." Cortez and I  hefted the hunk of rock through the long row of boxes. We threw it into the bed of the large truck and I patted my hands together. Jessica was right behind us, with Bentley still holding onto her. Jessica said,

"Restrain your dog." I rolled my eyes and said,

"All of you, pile into the truck." Cortez jumped in, Jessica took driver seat and Bentley took the seat between me and Jessica. I was in the co-drivers seat. Bentley said,

"This car drives its self. And I'm pretty sure you're too young to drive." She just scoffed and and hit a few buttons on some device on her wrist. A mechanical whir was heard and the white dome around the truck lifted up. It was still dark, but I could see some tunnel being lit up by dim orange floor lights. Jessica wasted no time in hitting the pedal. We zoomed forward through the tunnel at rapid speeds. The lights were a blur as the speed gauge was reaching max. I could a bright light at the end of the tunnel and we reached it in seconds. We were outside, on a lone highway. The ground nearby was dry, bare and cracked. I couldn't see anything in terms of life outside of a few cacti. We drove for a few minutes and then Bentley leaned over to me and whispered,

"I think she likes me." Sigh. I tell him,

"I don't think-" That's it! This might be funny. "Yeah, have you seen her eyes? She looks to be your soulmate." I said that loud enough for Jessica to hear me and her grip on the steering wheel tightened. Bentley then leaned back up and said to Jessica in a overly dramatic voice,

"I was once doing the mission where I had to infiltrate a secret base, the owner was the Russian president, and it was in the Antarctic about 2 miles underground! I waltzed in there and started throwing grenades everywhere! There were thousands of Russian mercenaries all carrying deadly chain guns and flamethrowers, but they were no match for me!" Russian president, Antarctic base 2 miles underground, mercenaries, I remember that job. I leaned my head back and started to review the memory. That fateful day, 3 years ago. The day of Lawn's death.

I laid there in the freezing cold snow with Cortez, Bentley, and Lawn. We were all dressed up in arctic camo, shades of white and grey. All of us were looking through advanced binoculars with radars and scanners, we liked to call, omniculars. Lawn said,

"Bit of asshats are hit'en the drink bar." In his usual gruff, scratchy voice. He pings a location on his omnicular and we all receive the marker. I shifted my omnicular over to the blue mark and see 3 large people in heavy grey coats. They were drinking something in a metal cup that had steam raising up above it. They sat inside a small, makeshift, metal, round building that stood 8 feet high. It had 2 small windows that were cracked and had ice growing on it. I raised my hand and put up two fingers. Cortez and I raise our snipers. Cortez had a good enough angle to be able to takeout two of the guards in one shot. I whipped my fingers forward and shot my gun. There was a soft, CLICK and then there was a prewp prewp and all 3 guards fell down. Bentley said,

"Nice kill. Tango down." Cortez slugged him in the arm and then said,

"This isn't call of duty." Bentley rubbed his arm and said,

"Hey, I learned everything I knew about guns from CoD." Lawn stood up and cracked his back.

"Coast's clear, pukenuts. Let's get moving." Lawn barked at us. I looked at him and noticed his short grey, his powdered white mustache, his scrunched up wrinkled face, and a large red scar over his right eye. He was a damn good strategist and our leader. He may have been a bit rude at times, but he was a natural leader and always put his squad first. I was 16 at the time, and had a heavy dose of acme and was slightly emo. Bentley was 14 at the time, and very short. He wore glasses and was slightly chubby. Cortez was the squad's second-in-command. She hasn't changed much.

The reason why I joined his squad is because, one day, I was hacking, just because I was bored. I was looking through security cameras of 'top secret labs' and noticed something. I saw Lawn rush into the lab, guns ablaze. I thought, what an idiot. He's a dead man. I heard many gun shots and smoke filled the place up. I thought he was dead. The smoke cleared out, and he was alive. Took a bullet to the chest, but looked fine. He was a tough old bastard, I'll give him that. He made a signal with his hand and Cortez came running up to him. He then kept going down the hall, gun at chin level. The lab he was in had nothing in particular of value I could find, so, I decided to keep watching him. He kept walking down the hall, checking each room. He was a heavily trained military veteran. Whenever someone aimed a gun at him, he shot them dead before they could squeeze the trigger. He walked into a large room, Cortez near him. He walked toward the middle of the room, swinging his gun around. An alarm sounded and within seconds, he was surrounded with about 30 people, each one at point-blank range, holding an ACR. Cortez put her gun down and raised her arms in surrender. I found a signal I could jack on someone's radio and listened to what they were saying. Lawn smiled and said,

"I guess this is it. Cortez, it has been an honor serving with you. I've been saving this last bullet. I'll see you all in hell." He raised a desert eagle to his head, finger on the trigger. No! I gotta save him! I desperately looked around everything I could in the room, begging for something to help him with. Nothing. The old man was about to die. Then I found a bug in the software used on the commutation devices that the guards were using.That's it! I overloaded each of the radios that they were carrying. They burned the enemy's skin and each one was distracted. Lawn wasted no time. He tackled the nearest one. He then stole the one guy's ACR and shot around him. Everybody, except Cortez, slumped to the ground, a bloody hole in all or their heads. How in the fuck did he do that? This one is strange. I should keep watching him. His ability to adapt and improvise is amazing. He tosses an ammo to clip to Cortez and she slammed it into her sub-machine gun. He continue through the room and came across a control panel. He pushed a few buttons and the console turned red. He then fired a few rounds into the panel for good measure. Then he turned around and walked out. I need to contact this guy, his work looks important, and I needed something to do. I had such potential, but I could never use it bring alone. I scanned Lawn, looking for any radio waves coming off of him. Nothing. Then I checked Cortez and she had a badly secured short range two-way radio on her. I hacked into it and spoke on speaker phone.

"Hello, My name is Dylan. I helped you back out there and I would like to join your squad on missions." Cortez looked surprised and Lawn just shook his head. He then said,

"So, you're a hacker. I could use someone of your talent. You are now part of the squad. Meet us at..." He told me directions and time to a abandoned warehouse. Just like that, I was in. A few days later, I went to the warehouse. The air was chilly and dry and it stunk of sewer. I cautiously stepped through a large garage door that had been rusted and broken. A few red laser dots appeared around me. It was a trap. I launched myself under a nearby desk, and could hear gunfire rain down. By the mechanical whirring, I could tell they were sentries. I pulled out my laptop, which I always carry with me, and deactivated them one by one. They were simple military infrared-connected turrets that I could hack easily. I got out from under the table, which had no holes in it. They sentries must have fired blanks. This was a test. Dash it all, I should have known. Come on! I'm smarter then this! I called out,

"Okay, test over. Show yourself." A shadowy figure appeared out from a wide pole. It was Lawn. He nodded and said,

"Welcome to the team." I then came back to reality, back to the snowy wasteland. I was the last to get up. We all silently trudged trough the snow until we came upon the main building. It was a fairly large factory. Bentley stuck a small explosive on the back door and it burst open. The bomb was called a SED. It was made by Bentley and stands for Silent Explosive Device. We switched to our ballistic shotguns and Lawn took lead. He went through a few boxes and kicked open a door and then rushed up and sliced a nearby guards neck. The guard fell down and we continued forward. We arrived at a control panel and Lawn motioned for me to hack it. I did, the defense was simple and took no time to break. I stuck in a USB drive and downloaded blueprints for an experimental freeze laser. It was like a regular laser, but instead of adding heat, it took it away. It worked, but it didn't freeze anything quick enough. It could freeze a rubber ball at room temp in 39 days, and it couldn't freeze humans at all. Someone was paying us good money to delete the data and research. I kept it with me on a small USB drive just in case I ever needed it. An alarm went off and we getting swarmed by guards. Lawn bark at Bentley,

"Bentley, blow open a hole and the wall and escape. The rest of you get out of here. I'll keep these dick-breaths out of here." He said as he fired round after round at anyone who entered the room. Bentley did just that, he threw a C-43, his own design, at a nearby wall and blew it open. They all rushed out, except for me and Lawn. I yelled at him,

"Come on! We have to go!" He stood his ground and growled back,

"No, there are too many. Leave. GET OUT OF HERE!" I ran out, following the others. As I looked back at Lawn, who was about a hundred feet away, I saw his last ammo cartridge fall to the floor and noticed he was out. He threw he gun on the ground and pulled out his Desert Eagle, freshly polished. There was one bullet in that gun. One bullet that held a lot of meaning. It was gold plated and had the words, 'Meet me in heaven, Lawn' inscribed on it. He aimed it at his head as he was swarmed by guards. He smiled. His finger tensed. The gun clicked. There was a bang. Lawn collapsed on the floor, a smile on his face. He wanted a beautiful death. He got one. He saved our lives by sacrificing his own. I will never forget him.

I snapped back to reality to hear Jessica laughing and Bentley saying,

"Then the guy tripped over his own gun and fell face first, knocked out cold." He made hand motions and they both laughed, enjoying themselves. After Lawn's death, we all split up and went our separate ways. I tried to keep us together, but Bentley didnt want to hear it. He just walked away and never looked back. Cortez also left me, but she eventually wanted the team back together. I glanced over to Bentley and he was already holding hands with Jessica, who was laughing loudly. Wait, did I just have a flashback inside a flashback? Don't think I've done that before. Jessica then stopped laughing and looked into Bentley's eyes. She leans forward and lays a kiss on Bentley' lips. He just sits there, dazed. I laughed and said,

"Next stop, Equestria."

Bored of humans? One hipster pony coming up!

I snickered, with a black marker on my hoof, as I looked over my victim. Rainbow Dash laid there, snoring and with her face covered in black marks. I drew a mustache, a monocle, and the letters 'VS' on her face. I was in her cloud home and I could stand in it because I brought small rags that I laid on the fluffy cloud floor. Occasionally, she muttered 'I can eat carpet better then you.' and 'Oh, Soarin, you're so big.' I couldn't help but giggle at what she sleep-talks about. When my prank was over, I tip-hoofed out of her cloud home, picking up the rags on my out.

Okay, that's enough of the hipster pony for now. Read on to find out what happens next.

*Thump* *glihcz* I whipped my head up, toward the sound. We were only about 5 miles from home and driving on the highway. It was about 10 at night and very dark.

"Anyone else hear that?" I said. Cortez looked at me and said,

"I did too. Sounded like a landing from magnetic boots, followed by them powering on them. I'd recommend shooting it." Magnetic boots, this means someone's trying to steal something in our car. I heard the buzz of a blowtorch being lit and saw sparks flying down from the ceiling. Bentley mouthed the words 'Aww, shit'. I looked back at Bentley and said,

"This thing have any defensive capabilities?" He shook his head and said,

"This is a transport vehicle, not an attack car." I used my hands and signaled for Cortez to shoot it. She pulled out a M9 and fired it once.  There was another loud thump and the squeal of something sliding off of the roof. The Jessica looked out the window and said,

"We have 3 cars cashing us. 2 have front-mounted chain guns and the last has a steel pusher strapped to the front. Make and model lead me to believe that their American FBI stranded issue intercept cars." Fucking l! First Russia, then the CIA, then the FBI, who's fucking next! They might as well invite fucking superman at this rate! Calm down, think. It's too risky to send someone out as long as the chain guns are there, but they're front-mounted which means they're auto-targeting. I grabbed my laptop off the floor and banged on the keyboard. I sreachrd for nearby signals and I found the chain gun's targeting computer and broke down it's defense. It was too stubborn to allow me to reconfigure it's targeting parameters, so I just DDOS'd it and then looked out the window. They stopped spinning right before they were about to fire and pointed down. They were offline for now. I hear another 2 thumps and the electric sounds of magnetic boots latching on. I turned to Bentley and said,

"Bent, ya mind taking care of the latchers up above?" He nodded and pulled out a plain green grenade. He then stood up and opened the top hatch. He stuck his top half out and said,

"Hey, I think you dropped this." He then ducked down and closed the latch. Only 2 seconds passed and I heard an explosion. That took care of them. Jessica then yelled,

"3 more cars. Each having about 6 people. Hold on to your balls, I'm ramming them." She turned the steering wheel hard and the truck screech hard and she threw the stick in reverse. We were then going backwards in the same direction. She then slammed the transmission stick into forward and the tires screeched forward. Right before impact, she turned the wheel again and we went longways into 2 cars, sending them flying. Without losing any momentum, Jessica turned more and we faced the right direction again, going full speed. Cortez handed me a handgun and said,

"Come on, lets go fuck up their day." Bentley then slapped a white grenade, with Vinyl's cutie mark on it, in my hand and said,

"Made this for you. Go give 'em hell." I smiled and jumped out of the top hatch. Cortez followed closely, we both has auto-detecting magnetic shoes on. The wind whipped my face as we speed past the rolling plains at 80 miles an hour. The road was a blur as I slowly walk toward the edge. Cortez ran and jumped off the edge and right before she jumped, she grabbed my shirt and pulled me with her. We landed on the big truck with the pusher. Less landed, more fell, for me anyway. I stumbled back up and saw that Cortez had already pulled out the driver and the other person's head a bloody pulp, all over the window. If she could do this, then why the fuck am I here? I'm the hacker, not the fighter! Cortez then punched the steering wheel and jumped onto another car. I threw myself at the same car Cortez jumped on as the car I was just on slid over to the left, crashing into another FBI car. I landed on the hood and the person in the co-driver raised a glock 18 out the window and aimed it right toward me. Time slowed and I thought about what to do. It would take him .89 seconds for him to pull the trigger and the bullets to hit me. He held it at an odd angle and I knew that they were inaccurate weapons. The chance of him hitting me would be 4% combined with the 40 rounds in the gun would mean he had a 86% chance of hitting me with one magazine with aerodynamics thrown in. I threw my body into action by running up the front window and then grabbing the gun, making him spray bullets harmlessly in the air. 40 bullets later, the gun clicked and I let go of the gun. It would take him 5.58 seconds to reload and fire at me. It would take me 3.8 seconds to throw a grenade in the car. The choice was obvious. I pulled out the Vinyl grenade. Yanked out the pin. Tossed it in the window. I then turned to Cortez and signaled her to go back to our truck. We both pulled out magnet guns and shot them at the large truck. We shot forward, dodging glock 18 fire, and climbed into our truck. Bentley greeted us with,

"Did you use the-" Just then there was a long, low sound that sounded like it came out of a bass stereo. I held my ears and the ground shook more and more rapidly every second and all the cars slid off the road, spinning and crashing into each other. Jessica was having trouble, but she was still a good enough driver to keep us afloat. It reminded me of Vinyl's alarm clock. Bentley then said,

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." I looked out the window and saw nothing. No more FBI, no more fighting, for now, anyway. I leaned back into my seat, hoping for this long day to be over, but not before I said to Bentley,

"You're one crazy son of a bitch, ya know that?"

Chapter 10: The end

August 6, 9:16 P.M.

It was dark out and I stood there, next to a silver-ish teleporter. It was in my living-room, despite how small it is. There were wires of all colors running all across the floor and a control panel made of steel, that had flashing red and green lights on it. There was also a laptop attached off to the side. Bentley, Cortez, and Jessica were next to me. We were all waiting in anticipation about this. Bentley then walked up to the control panel and slapped a Rainbow Dash sticker on the side. He then stepped back and said,

"Better." I rolled my eyes and said,

"Well, lets start this thing up." I slowly stepped to the laptop and booted it up.

**********************

BOOT:Kernel; Alpha

**********************

Starting.....

Firmware booted successful.

Graphics booted successful.

CPU Voltage at 100% percent.

Temp. at 4% max.

All systems checked and ready for use.

Process completed: 1 successful attempt out of 1 attempt.

*********************

Welcome user:

U:___________

P:___________

*********************

Oh, man, I have missed fingers so much. I flexed my fingers and then typed rapidly across the keys.

*********************

Username and password accepted. Welcome, dylansl.

Start Def(): repo

Launching#8753...

Successful.

Opening portal to 'Equestria'.

Loading Dylan(H) and Dylan(P)..

Both have been loaded correctly.

Would you like to open portal to organic life? [Y/N]

y

Portal has been opened.

********************

The shiny gate to the left made a whirring sound and a white and green spinning portal appeared. Everyone but me gasped and took a step back. I turned to them and said,

"I'm the only who can go for right now. The reason why is I'm the only one with designs. You all need to create your ponies to enter this world. If you enter without becoming a pony, you will most likely scare everything that can be scared. The last thing we need is a mass panic of ponies. But don't worry, I've made a program that scans you and makes you a compatible pony that is what you want it to be. Pretty advanced neuroscience, but it was fun to make." They nodded and I took one step toward the portal. I was ready, ready to return, return to the only person I've ever loved. Just then, there was a ZAP and something fell out of the portal. It was humanoid and I caught it as it fell in my arms. I looked at it closer, it was a human, white skin, puffy stripped blue hair that's exactly like Vinyl's, slender frame, a cute face, small breast, small mouth, and beautiful eyes. I stood her up and supported her up with my arms around her shoulders. She stood about 3 inches below me and had a music note tattooed on her butt. Her eyes and mouth were closed. She was also naked. Everyone just stood there, mouths wide opened. The Jessica shook her her head and look and Bentley. She then put a frown on her face and pushed him while yelling,

"Give her some privacy!" Bentley fell backwards on the floor then laid up and rubbed his head. He then covered his eyes with his hand and said,

"Okay, I won't look! But what about Dylan?" Jessica turned to me and said,

"You're good, just don't let her fall." I detect jealousy. The girl moaned and started to stir. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room. Her eyes went to Cortez, then to Bentley, then to Jessica. Then she turned her head and look straight in my eyes. Her eyes were a lustful crimson, the same as Vinyl's. She then embraced me, her arms rapped tightly around me. I felt her warmth encase me as tears fell from her eyes. She whispered in the same voice as Vinyl,

"I missed you so much."

1 hour earlier, in Vinyl's point of view.

I stood there, on stage at a dance floor in Manehatten. I was setting up my DJ station and Octavia was tinning her cello for the song. The crowd all stared at us, silently begging us for our famous music. I finished setting up and nodded at Octavia. We were both ready to perform, so I placed the record with the gold letters on the platform and put the needle on it. The room filled with a steady beat and Octavia raised her hooves.

This song played.

The crowd cheered as the song finished. Octavia and I walked to the front of the stage and waved to everypony that was there. Then a brown earth pony, with spiked hair, came up to us with a trophy that had a music note on it. He looked toward the stage and said,

"I think the winner of this contest is obvious." He then looked back at us and handed us the trophy. Octavia and I held the trophy up as the crowd cheered. We both smiled at this feeling of winning. It was only a few minutes of this before we stepped down the stage. I held the trophy while we walked out, talking about how awesome that was. Octavia then asked,

"So, who this stallionfriend you have?" I guess I should tell her. I replied with,

"His name is Neon Blaze. Met him at a party for him."

"Can I see him?"

"No, in the most literal use of the word." She looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"He's on some far away trip. I don't know where he is or when he'll be back." Octavia then smirked and said in a sarcastic tone,

"Oh! Is that so? He must be real then." I hated it when she got like this.

"He's real."

"Then lets find him."

"I don't know where he is."

"Then, like I said, lets find him."

"And, just how should we do that?"

"The princesses might know." I shrugged.

"Fine, we will head over to Canterlot." We trotted over to the place, conversing about random topics. It wasn't too long until we reached the place. Octavia pushed open the castle doors and I noticed Luna was pacing on the floor. Celestia was nowhere to be find. I asked Luna,

"Do you know where Neon Blaze is?" Luna stopped and looked at me with worried eyes. What is she worried about? Could Neon be... Dead!? I might be jumping to conclusions. "Is Neon okay?!" Luna said,

"He's fine. I know where he is, it's just that, well, it would just be easier to show you. " Her horn glowed and all three of us teleported to some hidden room with an odd device that had some portal-looking thing in it. I became confused and asked,

"Where are we? And what is that purple spinning thing?" Octavia just stood there. Luna replied with,

"Blaze was... different. He's not from Equestria. If you really want to see him again, you must step through this gate. But, be careful, I'm not sure if you can ever go back." I nodded and said,

"I want to spend my life with him. If I can't come back, then he probably can't go back, either. I want to see him, Equestria or not." Luna exhaled loudly and said,

"Then step through this." She pointed toward that odd device. I slowly stepped toward it, nervous and terrified. I stood right next to it and put my hoof through. I then got sucked in, I closed my eyes in fear. It was only about 2 minutes when I felt different. I felt taller, warmer, naked, just like a different creature altogether. I fell down, being captured by something long and warm, almost like an arm, but was different. I heard a few unfamiliar voices say things, and then I opened my eyes. Something, or someone was holding me. Then it mentally hit me: That was Neon! I hugged him tightly and started to cry. Then I whispered,

"I missed you so much."

Chapter 12: Old memories

Chapter 12: Old memories

Let's start off with Dylan's point of view.

I was deep in thought about this predicament. Just how to I get off this hell world? I belong on Earth, not some fucking kid's fantasy. And where is everything so familiar? This is starting to scare me. I just thought about those thoughts, over and over until I hit a small town, with buildings that look like they were made in the dark-ages. But, the buildings didn't amaze me, the inhabitants did. Ponies. Fucking ponies. Of course, I had to be here! Not another human in sight. Oh well, I'm a pony, I'll blend in here quite nicely. I walked toward the center of town, but something pink and bouncy jumped in front of me. I demanded the pony move,

"Move. I have places to be." The pony just smiled in my face, creepily, and said in an over-excited voice,

"Neon! There you are! I just thought of a song for you!" She sucked in a breath of air and started to hum. "Welcome to Ponyville! We all love new faces! Neon is-" I cut her off saying,

"I don't like singing, move." I pushed her aside. She stopped bouncing and just sat there with sad eyes. I trotted off before she could say anything else. But, of course, she followed. Still singing.

"Neon is the flower that brightens your daaaaaaaay!" I ran as fast as I could forward, but every time I think I lost her, she just appears! Out of nowhere! "He's the one true friend we all need!" I stopped and glared intensely at her. "He gives us smiles that make us make us happy till maaaaaaay!" THAT'S IT! My brain snapped in a fit of rage.

"PINKIE SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I RIP OFF YOUR DICK AND GET YOUR MOTHER PREGNANT WITH IT." She stopped singing, just stood there, wide eyed at what I had done. At least she stopped, I quickly walked away, avoiding all eye-contact. Wait, did I just call her Pinkie? I don't know her name, but for some reason, the name Pinkie Pie appeared in my head when I saw her. I looked around, the place just blurred into something that looked like a rainbow puked on it. Too many fucking colors, it's giving me a headache. A came across a rather large tree, and something in my head clicked. A flash back started, it was grayish, but still had some colors, and I was meeting some purple pony. I wasn't meeting her, it looked like I was captured against my will because I was held by some kind of bubble, and screaming. Then I snapped back to reality as I noticed the door to the tree open. The same purple pony came out, with a saddle bag over here. She looked at me, surprised, then came over toward me. I was scared because, all I know is, she's hostile. Instincts tell me to either attack first, or run. But, for some strange reason, my mind was telling me to say hi. Almost like, she's a friend. I held my stance, waiting for her to make the first move. She walked up to me with a regular smile. Once she was within about 5 feet, she said,

"Hello, Neon. I've been wondering where you went." Unsure of what to do, I didn't move or say anything. "So, where have you been?" I lowered my eyes, taking on a fiercer face. "There is no reason to get mad." She has a point, getting angry won't solve anything. I stopped glaring and said,

"Hi. Where I was, is none of your business."

"Oh, come on. You can tell me." Actually, I physically can't. I don't remember, but she doesn't need to know that.

"No." I heard something moving fast behind me. I spun around, and saw a cyan pony speeding at me, a thin layer of colors following her. Right before she hit me, she stopped and landed roughly on the ground. She didn't even flinch, she must be brave. Or stupid. Then I felt the gush of wind, that was following her, rush into my face. The color-haired pony said,

"Hey Neon! Haven't seen ya in a while. I bet Vinyl's looking for you." Who is the oddly boyish sounding pony in-front of me? And who's Vinyl? I didn't care, I just want to get off this rainbow hell world. I replied with,

"That's great, I don't care."

"Vinyl asked me to find you, then bring you to her." I'm not taking any chances.

"I'll stay here."

"Come on, she looked really desperate in finding you." Desperate? The only 'desperate' people I know of are the ones who want to kill me. I was done talking, so I just intensely stared at the blue pony. "Uh..." She took a few steps back. "I'll just bring her here." Wait, bring her here? I was expecting her to be some gang or government overlord that wanted me in her lair so she could capture me, but just facing me head on, with no traps, like this? Either this lady has a death wish, or I'm wrong. The blue pony had already taken off, going the same way she came. I looked at Twilight, and she said,

"Is something wrong? I thought you loved Vinyl."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Is the sex bad? If so, I have a book for that." I just stared at her, in utter confusion at what she was saying. "I guess not, judging by your face. Hey, that reminds me; Where did you get the the all the playcolt magazines? You replaced all my books in my room with them. Spike was, ahem, doing 'alone time' with a picture of a Rarity-lookalike doing a nude photo-shoot." For some reason, I vaguely remember putting ponized playboy magazines in a bookshelf now. I couldn't help but chuckle, for some unknown reason.

"Uh, sorry about that." I heard some female yell, in the distance,

"Neon!" I turned toward the sound, and found a white pony with stripped blue hair, running toward me.

To Jessica's point of view.

I held a Pulse Rifle, because I was out of ammo for the Plasma Cutter. I had gotten use to the smell the blood by now, and it was almost excited to shoot a Necromorph's head off, then run up and rips its other limbs off. Since they were made of decaying flesh, it was really easy to just grab onto their arms and tear it off. I've only encountered a few of the senora scissor hands. I like to call the normal ones that. I was walking down a dark hallway, gun close to my chest. While hearing every drip, every shuffle, just everything that moves. I heard a few slow footsteps around the cornor, and snapped my gun forward, finger on the trigger. That bastard is about to become a bullet-sponge. But, it wasn't a normal one, it was much larger at the chest. I smirked and said,

"Come on, El fatso. Give me your best shot." I unloaded a full clip into's belly and watched as it topped to the ground. Then a few small white things came crawling toward me. I stomped on them, till they were dead. One got on my back, but I shook it off before it could bite me. I walked over to El fatso, and kicked it in the stomach. "You need to lose some weight." Then I noticed something on its wrist. I pulled it off, and held it to my face. It was some kind of tech, pretty advanced too. I slapped it on my wrist, and it fit like a watch. There was a single button, I pressed it. Some kind of blue energy shot out, then came back in. I pointed it at a nearby bucket, and held down the button. The bucket got caught in the blue energy and floated toward me. "Just as I thought."

Back to Neon's point of view.

She ran into me, embracing me with a warm hug. I shrugged out of the hug and said,

"Get off of me."

"Neon, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. And stop calling me Neon. My name is Dyla-" She cut me off, with a kiss. A kiss to the lips, a long and warm one. We closed our eyes, and time seemed to stop. I blushed deepy, and opened my eyes again. It all came back to me. There was Vinyl, my girlfriend. "I-I missed you." I pulled her in for a hug.

"So, we're back. Back in Equestria. But, just us. Where are the other things you were with?" I think she means my team. Although, she has a good point. I have to wonder, where are they? Bentley would be most likely be trying to seduce Rainbow Dash, Cortez will most likely be asking questions about this place, and Jessica's a wild card. Meh, I'll find them later.

Chapter 13: Assassin's Effect.

Chapter 13: Assassin's Effect.

A/N: This chapter is a cross-over with the story Making the Best of It by Dark Lightning. Read his story, it's awesome.

Let's start out with Cortez. You can choose which Shepard(Paragon, neutral, renegade) there is. Just skip the bold text that says which he is.

Paragon Shepard.

"Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said,

"I know, but we don't have to time." He turned to me and said, "you're okay with this? You never really had much of choice so far." I replied with,

"The collectors sound impressive, an enemy I want to fight." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said,

"Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said,

"Be careful." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said,

"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said,

"Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said,

"Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said,

"Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me.

Neutral Shepard.

"Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said,

"She'll be fine when fighting the Collectors." He turned to me and said, "Are you ready?" I replied with,

"The collectors will get what's coming to them." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said,

"Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said,

"Let's make it happen." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said,

"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said,

"Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said,

"Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said,

"Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me.

Renegade Shepard.

"Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said,

"She hasn't pissed me off yet, so we're good." He turned to me and said, "The Collectors need a boot up their ass, you ready for it?" I replied with,

"The collectors sound impressive, an enemy I want to fight." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said,

"Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said,

"Don't get us killed." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said,

"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said,

"Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said,

"Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said,

"Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me.

Then once you've read one of those, skip to what's below.

Commander Shepard looked at me and yelled,

"Cortez!" But, before I could say anything, he was gone. In his place, old-style buildings were expanding across the horizon. Everything looked like it was in the renaissance. What the- My thought process was cut off by someone in a white and red dress, or something covering all of him, ran past me.

He almost knocked me down, but I held my stance. He kept on running past. How rude, I won't take this standing up. I ran toward him, matching his speed. I closed in, inch by inch, until I leaped and tackled him to the ground. The man said, in an Italian accent,

"Do you have a problem? I'm slightly busy." He turned around and faced me. I noticed that he had two metal things wrapped around his wrists, and had a white hood the was pointed at the front.

To Neon's point of view.

Well, I guess I should go find them. There's no ctrl+F on this planet, so I'll just use the MTSC. It should have an auto-return feature, I put in there encase something happened. Almost like respawning, but with limits. Dangerous limits. I said,

"Let's go find them. Follow me." They all started to follow me, "only me and Vinyl. The rest of you stay."  Vinyl and I continued down the path, then I stopped and facehoofed. "Hey, Twilight, you mind teleporting us to Canterlot?" Her horn glowed, but Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere, and said,

"Hey! That was mean! Say you're sorry! The bronies watching don't like it when you're mean to me! Their gonna make tons of videos that say how bad you are, and you should be killed off!" She then points at the grass a few feet in front of her. "And you! Hub logo! We know what show we're watching! But, I do like your taste in thumbnail. I do make the best thumbnails!" Really? Her again? I smirked and replied with,

"Cotton-candy-for-hair, I wonder what would happen if we were to throw you into a meat grinder. Maybe we could make some kind of 4th wall juice. Or we could just feed you to the manticores, I hear they love pony for dinner." Pinkie went wide-eyed yet again, and then turned about 3 shades whiter. Then we teleported to Canterlot without another word. I turned to Vinyl, and noticed that she was standing right next to me. "Follow me." I led the way, to the secret locked up storage hiding the MTSC. We stepped into the room, which was much more dusty than I remember it. I walked over to the device, and powered it on. As the fans whirred to life, the screen turned on. The eerie green glow started shooting letters down.

**********************

BOOT:root; kernel

**********************

Starting.....

Firmware booted successful.

Graphics booted successful.

CPU Voltage at 43%.

Temp. at 72% max.

All systems checked and ready for use.

Process completed: 1 successful attempt out of 1 attempt.

*********************

Welcome user:

U:___________

P:___________

*********************

Username and Password accepted:

Welcome, User: Dylansl

Search: def Cotez(no_exclusion):

Including all(Shadow.Alt)

Portal opening for increased radius.

Searching for Cortez....

Cortez is not on this planet

*************************

What? But, how? The MTSC 2.0 was set on Equestria, both I and Vinyl made it. Could something have happend? I'll have to look into this later, for now I just need to get them-There was a puddle on the floor, from a dripping pipe up above. I slipped on the puddle, and landed right through the portal. I landed on a hard surface, hitting my head. I screamed, (Play this song in the background.)

"FUCK! Uhh... Where am I?" I looked around, noticing that I was still in Equestria. I suppose it's possible to be teleported in-world. Not tested, but makes sense. I turned around, facing the road, and noticed two ponies.

Random intermission.

"Trixie thinks that your way of talking is stupid." Trixie said, talking to Iron Will. He shouted,

"Iron Will's way of talking, has ponies gawking!"

"Trixie thinks talking in third-person is stupid, and you should stop."

"Iron Will thinks you just don't want anypony else to talk like you." They just stood there, outside, on the grass. They glared into each other's eyes, then Trixie jumps on him and lays a big kiss on his lips.

Random intermission over.

The first pony I noticed was a very dark blue, with blue hair and had rings on his hoof. Unicorn.

The second one was a pegasus, that was white and had yellow stripes. His hair was red and black.

They just looked at me, I got up and glared at them, then said,

"What do you want?"

They stared at me for a while, before the white and yellow one spoke.

"Pfff, attitude much?" The dark blue one said,

"Shut up Thunder, hey, what are you doing here any way?" I said,

"I should ask you the same question. And I really don't care what you think of me. But, I think Thunder here needs a boot up his ass." The one who I guessed is Thunder said,

"Pfff, like you could take someone like me." The dark blue one said,

"Sounds like a challenge." I grunted and took a step closer, then said,

"When I get pissed off, I hit things. And you're pissing me off." Thunder took a step forward and said,

"Care to back up that threat?" I stepped again, now right in his face, then said,

"I have no intention of fighting, but I'm ready to punch someone, and you're too close."

"Go ahead!" He brought his fist up, then rammed it at me, sparks of electricity flying out. Time slowed down as I thought about what to do. I brought my arm up, then slammed it onto his elbow, causing him to reel back. Then I pushed his hoof back, hitting himself in the face.

I thought the electricity from his hand would hurt him, but it didn't. This means he must be made of some bio-insulator, which most are extremely vulnerable to H2O. I held his arm back, so he couldn't move. As he struggled, I said,

"All I have to do is spit on you, and it might just kill you. It seems you're highly receptive to water." He twisted his torso, sending both of us spinning to the floor. He looked pissed off as I got back up. He growled,

"Shadow, help me with this guy." The dark blue one took a step forward, and turned invisible. So, he bends light-waves to avoid detection. A child's game. I looked on the floor, tracking his movements by looking where he left imprints on the ground. He was trying to flank me, but I had something up my sleeve.

I snapped my head around, trying to fool them into thinking I didn't know where Shadow was. Shadow came dashing toward me, I ducked, and did an uppercut straight to his jaw. He staggered back, and lost his invisibility.

He held his hoof to his cheek as shadows came darting from under him. My mind raced about how to attack this new foe, but I couldn't come up with a solution in time, and a shadow decked me, sending me back a few feet as I landed on my back. My right leg was in intense pain, most likely a borderline fracture. I willed the pain away as I had to keep fighting.

The shadows kept going toward me, and I rolled out of the way of their next attack. I whipped my head toward Shadow, and he looked deep in focus, tired almost. These shadows must take a lot of energy and focus.

I had forgotten about Thunder, and he slammed into me, sending me back even farther. But, that was more beneficial to me than he thought. I noticed that their attacks are uncoordinated, I just need to use that to win. The shadows came at me again, and Thunder was charging at, flying. He was inches away, at high speed, and the shadows followed close behind. Thunder would hit me in 2.3 seconds, the shadows in 3.6 seconds, I had to do this chronological. I dodged the punch, and grabbed onto Thunder's wings.

He shot upward, thrashing around. He reacted to the external stimuli very aggressively in the wing area. I held the base of his wings, controlling a small part of his flying. I hit a few pressure points and nerve endings to get him to abandon logic with the pain. I then smacked the back of his neck and he turned around on an attempt to get me off. This guy is extremely predictable.

We were both headed straight toward Shadow, against Thunder's will. He couldn't think clearly from all the pain, but electricity started to build up, about to shock me. No need, I already thought this through. I jumped off of him, and he slammed into Shadow, with the electricity shocking him. I got up, and walked over to them. Shadow was unconscious, but Thunder was in blood-rage. He breathed heavily as he yelled,

"I WILL KILL YOU!" He shot toward me, I just had to side-step. I did just that, and he whizzed past me, hitting a nearby tree. I looked over to him, he didn't move. Probably had a concussion. I walked over to Shadow, and shook him. Then he started to stir and I said,

"The fight was fun, but you need to think more. I'm not your enemy here, and Thunder attacked first." I extended a hoof to Shadow, who accepted it. I pulled him up, then a series of clouds started to spark up above me. Really? Just really? I looked over to Thunder, who was up, and still pissed off. He glowed with electricity. I looked around, and saw a streetlamp within a few feet. I casually walked over to it, right as Thunder sent a lighting bolt toward me. The lighting bolt struck the metal streetlamp, as I stood near it. I then shook my head and said,

"Do you even know basic electric properties? 1898 was the year that people learned that you couldn't be hurt with electricity as long as there was metal nearby. Power is nothing without intelligence, you shouldn't have even tried. I learned so much stuff from both of you, your fighting tactics, your weakness, and you never learned anything about me. Now stop." Thunder limped over to Shadow, his glare never leaving my face. I also walked over to Shadow. Once we both reached him, Shadow said,

"You *huff* need to teach me how to *huff* fight like that." Thunder continued to glare at me, and I said,

"Thunder, you can hate me all you want, but remember, you started this fight. You can always regret this, or you can learn from it, not make the same mistake. After all, regretting has never solved anything. That's what I learned, you should do the same. Where not so different, if you're willing to look." Thunder said,

"The only difference between us is that I hate you." Shadow said,

"That's a very thin line." I said,

"It's the thinnest lines that define us. Let's just be friends for now." Shadow held out his hoof and said,

"I agree with... what even is your name?" I said,

"Neon, Neon Blaze." I shook his hoof and then let go. I then held out my hoof for Thunder. He just smacked it away and grunted. Fine by him, I don't care if he likes me. Wait, this is just too strange. No one can control lighting or use shadows to attack people, this doesn't make sense. And where's the other ponies? Shouldn't they try and help me? I mean Twilight at the very least would see this and try to break it up. Or, maybe this isn't the same place I thought it was.

I have a theroy: This place is some kind of different timeline. Like, something else happened in my timeline to make mine happen, and something different happened here to make all this stuff happen. That might mean I don't even exist here, then how do I get home? I'll have to ponder this later, for now I don't think I should tell them this. "So then, what should we do?"

To Vinyl's point of view.

(Play this song in the background.)

"DJ! PON3! DJ!" The crowd shouted in unison as I spun around on my DJ station. I was at some party in Manehatten. The dance floor was glowing and rapidly changing colors, the music had dark heavy pulses. The world got dizzy as I sat on a quickly spinning record. Not only that, I also had about 30 bottles of hard cider. Man, this was pure awesome! Then I slipped, and I went flying off the record, straight into the crowd. They caught me, still cheering. They then threw me in the air a few times while I screamed,

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I was so drunk. I then grabbed a wall speaker, hanging on it. I swung on it a few times, and it came crashing down. I jumped off at the last second, preforming a perfect backflip onto the stage. My legs wobbled as I attempted to stand up and bow. The crowd just cheered much louder. The party was in full swing.

And now let's skip to Bentley's point of view.

I had my penis moving in and out of the companion cube. I had found a hole in the center, and this was just too good to pass up. My portal gun was right beside me, and GLaDoS just said,

"The Aperture Science Enrichment Center advises against mating and reproducing with the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube." I stopped, and looked around for the nearest camera. I found it, then I put my middle finger to it and said,

"Bitch, I do what I want, so suck it."

And lastley, to somewhere in Ponyville.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! My dream! Fuck yeah!" Said some brown pony with yellow hair. He stood there with Pinkie Pie, inside of Sugar Cube Corner. "Pink chick, I'm a pony! This is fucking awesome!" A bon-bon clone behind him said,

"Can you move?" He just turned around and said,

"NO U! SUCK A DICK YOU FAG!" He turned back to Pinkie Pie and said, "This is better than when Modern Warfare 3 came out! I'm gonna pwn sooooo many noobs!"

A/N: Okay, so Dark Lightning is taking forever on posting this chapter on his story, so I'm just going to post this.

Chapter 14: Why? Just why?

Chapter 14: Why? Just why?

A/N: I'm not waiting for Dark to make the second chapter, so I'll just keep posting. I'll post the rest of the cross over when he finishes.

August 7, 4:43 P.M.

I waved good-bye to my new friends, and stepped through the portal. It was the same strange feeling, as I saw the dark floor that the MTSC was on. I looked around, nobody was there. I then headed out the door, looking for Vinyl. It wasn’t long until I found some ponies that looked like they were at a rave. The first one, a purple female that had grey hair and was covered in glow sticks, walked with the other 2, laughing. The second was brown, with red hair, he looked normal, but I could tell he was very drunk. The last one, she was red and white, with orange hair, she looked slightly sad, almost like she regretted not going to the party they appear to be talking about. I walked in front of the purple one’s path, and she stopped. I asked,

“Hello, have you seen Vinyl? White, unicorn, blue striped hair?” She just rose her hooves up and yelled,

“Duuuuuuuuuuuude! DJ-PON3 throws the best parties! The last I thing I remember her doing was spinning on a record at some party in Manehatten, after that I was too drunk to remember anything. But, still, IT WAS AWESOME!” She then ran off, her friends following close behind. She was at a party in Manehatten? Wouldn’t she try and help me? No, shouldn’t make any assumptions, I need to check first. I trotted out of Canterlot, toward Manehatten. The trip was quick, and the city was bustling with ponies running everywhere. I casually strolled toward Vinyl’s usual party place, and walked in. The place looked like a tornado went through it. By the sun, it was about 7 A.M. and there were about 6 different ponies passed out on the floor. Including Vinyl, I ran over to her and shook her awake. She yawned, and started to stir. Her hair was a mess,

She then said,

“Yo, dude, I wonder where you’ve been.” I shook my head and said,

“Why didn’t you get help, or try to find me?” She got up and said,

“I didn’t know what to do, and I thought you could do it yourself.”

“And yet, you just went to a party and got drunk. You didn’t even worry, or ask anypony, or go after me. You just left.” I turned around as she said,

“I didn’t think-”

“That’s right. You didn’t think. I could have died, and all you did was get drunk. I can’t forgive you for this.” I tear started to form in my eye as I took a step away from her.

“Don’t go! I’m sorry.” I started to walk away from here, a single tear falling down. I didn’t even look at her as I walked through the door. I could hear her softly sobbing on the floor as I left. I sighed as I found myself on the sunny Manehatten streets. Only, it didn’t feel sunny. It felt like it was raining, the noise of the city turned to a mush of sounds that sounded like soft rain.

My feet forced me down the street, my head looking downwards, my heart, betrayed. I knew I never should have gotten in a relationship. They never work out. Someone always ends up hurt. I hate people enough, since when did I get so close? What happened to me? What changed? I don’t care who lives or dies, and yet I’ve saved countless lives, without trusting anyone.

All my life, I’ve been depressed. That all changed when all this shit hit the fan. Vinyl, gave me a happy life, and then ripped it out. I brought my hoof up to my face and tensed it. Never again, will I let anyone get that close. Never again, will I make the same mistake. Hacking is an isolated job, and I liked it like that.

I’ve had enough of this hell. I’m getting off of this planet. I found the path back to Canterlot, and started walking down it. Before I could walk three feet, something purble flashed in right of me. Twilight came out of the dust, while saying,

“Neon! I need your help!” I walked around her, and she followed me. I said,

“Go away. I want nothing to do with this planet anymore.

“But somepony is harassing everypony in Sugar Cube Corner.”

“Not my problem.”

“Please! He’s made Fluttershy cry. I’m just asking one favor!” I stopped in my tracks, curious at what the trouble was. Someone was harassing people? And they even made Fluttershy cry? I sighed and said,

“Fine. I’ll do one last thing for you. After that, I’m leaving.” We quickly disappeared in a cloud of purple. I saw the familiar, and hated, sights of Ponyville. Sugar Cube Corner was right next to me, and Twilight had just walked in. I followed shortly after, seeing a brown pony with short green hair. His cutiemark was of an Xbox game controller.

A human? Luna didn’t.... I need to have another ‘talk’ with Luna. And by talk, I mean one of us might be dead if Luna doesn’t stop. He was screaming,

“HEY FAG! GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A FUCKING SANDWICH LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE.” He was talking to Pinkie Pie. My blood started to boil as I saw the worst of the human race, in the place where I never thought they would go.

I slammed into the kid who had a voice like an annoying 13 year old off of Halo. I held him against the wall, so he couldn’t move. I calmly said,

“You are coming with me. Equestria doesn’t need a 13 year old off of newgrounds.” He spat in my face and said,

“I DID YOUR MOM AND MY BRO LET ME DRINK BEER THE OTHER DAY! I’M OLD ENOUGH TO DO WHAT EVER THE FUCK I WANT! SO FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING NOOB FAG.” I glared intensely in his eyes as I said,

“Go fuck a stoma, you pimply-faced ignorant asshat.” He thrashed around until he headbutted me. We stood four feet apart, glaring at each other. “I’m not a pony, I have the guts to rip off that tiny, forever unused, thing you call a dick.” He just scoffed and said,

“Go be a fucktard somewhere else, this shit is mine. You’re just a fucking gay asshole who will never get a hot girl like my online girlfriend in Asia.” Those words ringed in my ears as they brought back bad childhood memories.

I was 12 at time and I was getting science textbooks out of my locker. The memory was faded and grey, but it was still painful. Two large teens, that were fourteen, walked up to me. One of them said,

“Hey nerd. Why don’t you be a fucking gay asshole somewhere else.” I just stood there, terrified they might break my arm again. The other one said,

“I think he’s jealous that he can’t get chicks like us.” Then he pushed my books on the ground and they both burst out in laughter. I kneeled down to pick up my books as tears came in my eyes. No one stood up for me. I just kneeled on the ground, crying.

My mind then snapped back to reality. My hoof instinctively shot forward, slamming into the side of his head. He stumbled a few feet, then feel down. He passed out as the ponies around me clapped in appreciation. I felt ashamed. I hurt another human, even if he had it coming.

I felt something sticky flowing down the side of my head. I put my hoof on it and looked at my hoof. Blood. Fluttershy lightly walked up to me and said,

“Neon. You’re hurt. Here, let me bring you to the hospital.” I pushed her away and said,

“I’m fine. I don’t need to-” I looked into Fluttershy’s eyes. They had true concern, something very rare for me. If she’s really that concerned, I’ll go. “Okay, I’ll go.” She then fluttered out the door, holding onto my hoof. I walked near her until we stepped in the hospital. The place was busy, but all the nurses look prepared. Fluttershy raised her hoof as a nurse came by and tried to say something, but the nurse just ran past. She did that a few more times to different nurses until I had enough. Nurse Sweatheart came by, and I put my hoof out in front of her to stop her. Sweatheart looked at me, then at Fluttershy. Fluttershy then said,

“Uh... Neon is hurt... and he could use help... if that’s okay with you...” The nurse grabbed my hoof, and pulled me over to a bed. She said,

“Lie down, I’ll inspect the wound. What happend?” I had basic medical knowledge, and I said,

“Minor impact force on the side cranium. A small crack in the north west side, common in type B crashes. Recovery time about 4 weeks, no mental damage. Nor do I need any bed rest.” She stopped and just looked confused. I must have forgotten that they don’t have the same amount of medical knowledge as the human race.

Slightly ironic, when you think of it. Humans are selfish and greedy, ponies are kind and helpful, yet they can’t heal people as much. Doctors get paid a lot, so that might be why they try heal so much. Interesting how greed has saved lives. “I got in a fight.” The nurse’s face turned back to normal as she bandged the side of my head. I hate talking like an idiot just so these ponies understand me. Once Nurse Sweatheart finished wrapping my head, she said,

“Okay, just lie down for a few minutes, I’ll ask a few questions to see if you’re okay. First question: What is your name?”

“Neon Blaze.”

“Second question: You see a hurt bunny in Everfree forest, what do you do?” What the fuck kind of question is that?

“I’d let it die. Equestria doesn’t need another weakling.” The nurse looked appalled as she wrote down my answer.

“O-okay, what do you think about friendship?” Friendship? This is a mental test! That won’t prove anything.

“It’s all a lie. You get close, then they rip out your heart and smash it on the ground.” My mind flashed back to Vinyl for a split second until I pushed the memory out of my head. Why couldn’t I be a computer? Why can’t I just hit delete? Fluttershy was by my bed, looking scared.

“A pony has been bad, would you let him go or send him to the moon?” A pony has been bad? Really? Okay, fuck this.

“Kill him. Punishment has no long term effects and there is already too much evil in the world.” Fluttershy was curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth on the floor. The nurse just looked terrified. People shouldn’t see into my mind, it will give them nightmares. The nurse walked away. I just lied there for about 3 minutes, Fluttershy still scared. The nurse came back, with clipboard on her hoof. She said,

“It appears you are a sociopath.” I threw my hooves up in the air and said,

“Oh! That’s great. Now let me out of here.” She shook her head and said,

“You need help, I can’t just-” I laid up, getting out of the bed. “Sit down, please. You can’t just leave yet.” I glared at her as I stood on the floor.

“Look into my eyes. I. Don’t. Care. You can go fuck a vagrant, this is my life, and I will do with it what I want.” I walked out of the hospital, not looking back. I’m done with these damn ponies. I headed down the path towards Canterlot. It wasn’t long until I was interrupted. Rainbow Dash dived toward the ground, and landed right in front of me. She said,

“Hey, what did you do to Vinyl? She was upset.”

“None of your business. Now, go away. No one wants you here.”

“I want me here, and it is my business. I want you to apologize to Vinyl.” I took off running, in hopes of escaping her. She followed behind closely. I used magic and threw rocks at her while running. I didn’t try to hit it, just to make her dodge and slow down.

Rainbow Dash was closing in,  so I stopped and ducked. She flew past me, trying to stop. I ran forward again, being about 10 feet away from her as she finally got back up to speed. I did that a few times, she never learned. My legs were getting sore, and I was out of breath.

But, Canterlot was right in front of me. I used the urban environment to keep her from guessing where to turn. I went around randomly, crossing streets and turning around. It was clear I wasn’t going to lose her, so I dashed toward the building the MTSC was in. The portal was open, or course. I really need to turn that off sometimes.

Too late now, I jumped in it, Rainbow Dash following close behind. It was an a hot boot-up, and I had built up some kind of resistance to it. A moment later. I was thrown onto my living room floor. My body was human again, and it was oddly quiet. What happened to trying to kill me? Did the government just say fuck it?  I couldn’t think of an answer before I heard Rainbow Crash slam onto my floor.

She laid there as I said,

“Way to go. I had just been betrayed by my first girlfriend, and you just had to follow me here. Get out of my planet.” Rainbow Dash then got up, hand on her head. She mumbled,

“Ugh, what just happened?” She looked at her hands and appeared shocked. "What is going on!?" She then looked at the rest her,  curios about her new body.  Like Vinyl, she was naked too. I didn't really care. I tried to push her back into the portal, but she just dodged every time I tried to grab her. She was surprisingly fast, even thought she was still getting use to the new body.

"Get back in there. The world can live without the offspring of a parrot and an American." I said as I looked at her hair. She contained the trademark hair, still short and has most of the rainbow. That reminds me, why does she not have indigo? We're the designers too lazy to draw it? No wait, Equestria is real, I'll have to ask later. I gave up trying to push her and asked,

"Why do you want to stay? This world isn't sunshine and rainbows like yours. People die. There's no magic. You can't fly. Friendship is replaced by greed. You wouldn't last."

"What do you mean I can't fly?" She said as she felt her back for wings that didn't exist. "M-my wings..."

"That's right. There is no reason for you to stay, now go." She took a stern stance and said,

"Than I'll live without. This is a new world, and I want to at least check it out before I leave. " I looked over her again, seeing her toned arms, flat chest, smooth legs, and tanned skin. She looked like a professional runner. I sighed and said,

“Fine, but there will be rules.” She rolled her eyes, and said,

“Already rules.”

“These are for your safety, not mine. Now, first rule: Wear clothes.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“It’s not legal-” She won’t understand this democracy system. I need to trick her. “Only losers don’t wear clothes here. Do you want to be a loser?” She took a step forward as she said,

“No! But, where do I get clothes?” Sigh, this is going to be a long day.

Chapter 15: On second thought...

Chapter 15: On second thought...

I would get her clothes, but I'm sure nothing I have will fit her, and, there is no way I'm going into a women's clothes shop alone. Sorry, Dashie, but you're on your own for this. I looked at her and said,

"I'm fairly busy, I'll give you this," I looked for money or a credit card, until I realized that I don't pay for anything, I just hack shipping orders and banks to get things. Fuck. "Never mind, but, I need you to buy your own clothes. I can't go with you."

"Buy? I don't have any bits, and Rarity usually just gives me free clothes."

"Okay, well, I have a way for you to get a different kind of bits." Prostitution... NO! Darn you, dirty mind of mine. I looked on a nearby table, and it had a small blu-tooth ear-bud. I picked it up and handed it toward Rainbow. "Put this in your ear." She did so, having a bit of trouble keeping it in. Once she got it in, I pulled out my phone and launched a program. She asked,

"What is this even for?" I spoke into the phone,

"Rainbow, can you hear me?" She nodded and said,

"You sound different."

"It's just the way it works. Now, when your're away from me, I can still talk to you using this. Just say something, and I'll here it."

"Cool." Only cool? I almost would have thought her mind would explode from something like this.

"Okay, so now just go out that door." I pointed at the door. She just walked toward it, somehow already perfectly in sync with her new body. She fumbled with the knob, unable to get it open. "Just turn it." She waved me off, and managed to get the door open. "Okay, now just walk out. Turn left onto that black road. Now run down, as fast as you can."

She did all the commands, leaving my house. Naked. I hope she doesn't get arrested for this, but I guess that could just be an excuse to get rid of her. No, not a good idea, I should return her to Equestria.

Whelp, time to activate my 1337 HAX0r skillz. I opened up a map on my computer, and searched network traffic for the device I gave Rainbow. Found it, now to keep a dynamic uplink. I found where she was, then hacked into an unsecured traffic camera. She appeared on the monitor, running quickly. Her legs were a near blur as her hair whipped around.

If she had boobs, they would be bouncing everywhere. I panned the camera around, viewing people's reactions. An old man held up his cane and yelled,

"Damn hippy!" I kept feeding Rainbow Dash directions to the store. After a few more turns, I saw a group of bronies. One of them had a Derpy shirt on, and the other two had Rainbow Dash shirts on. The looked at Rainbow Dash run past them, and it was clear that they had boners. One of them said,

"Dude, was that RD in human form?" She ran past a few mothers, who shielded their son's eyes. I chuckled throughout the whole event. She ran into a clothes store's doors, and slowed down. She then said,

"*huff huff* That was fun. *huff* So, where do I go now?" I directed her toward an aisle of clothes that she would like. I told her to pick what she would like. Odd how there haven't been any cops or anything that would stop her. Rainbow Dash picked up rainbow colored gym shorts along with a white tank top and a blue sweatshirt.

I directed her how to put them on, it was easy since her clothes were stretchable. She then ran out of the aisle, but turned back to grab a brown leather flight jacket. I said,

"Nice choice, now go to the area of the front of the store with the rows of lines." I find it odd that she wasn't even remotely scared of the new much smarter race of creatures that see just passed. I'll have to show her the darker side of humans if she won't go, but I hope it doesn't come to that. She would be scarred for life.

Rainbow made her way to those things that beep when you try to shoplift. I couldn't overload the nodes without tripping a fail-safe gate, so I forced the gates to accept null codes by purging the database. Rainbow Dash walked out the door, like nothing had happened.

Did I really just make Rainbow Dash run two miles naked? In retrospect it may not have been worth it. Meh, I could care less. I gave directions to Rainbow to get back here. She arrived in a few minutes. Once we met back up, she said,

"Now, tell me what happened between you and Vinyl." She just won't give up.

"Fine, I had fell through the same portal you came through, wound up in an alternate universe, went home, found Vinyl drunk on the floor, and broke up with her."

"Why did you brake up with her?"

"I don't want to deal with this problem anymore. You're not helping."

"I'm trying to help and running away from your problems won't solve anything."

"I don't run from anything. My way of dealing with things is to forget it. That's not ignoring it to deal with it later."

"Don't you think it was a bit harsh to do that?"

"How about you live alone, in pain, and hated for all your life and then a spark of happiness appears only to crush your heart later."

"That's a bit extreme-"

"No, no it's not." She sighed and looked down.

"Well, can your give Vinyl another chance? Everypony deserves a second chance." Everypony deserves a second chance... I've heard that from Vinyl once. I've made mistakes, though rare, Vinyl still gave me a second chance. It would unfair to not do the same. I loudly sighed and said,

"I guess... you're right. Thanks, I needed to talk to someone." I took a step toward the MTSC and said, "stay here while I apologize to Vinyl." She sunk lower into the beanbag as I reconfigured where I would go to Manehatten. I stepped through the portal. I really need to get around to turning it off.

The trip was over as soon as it started, and I appeared in Manehatten. Vinyl would most likely be putting up her records. I rushed toward the dance floor I saw her on earlier. She was there, at her DJ stand pushing records into a bag. I slowly and calmly walked up to her. She didn't hear me walk up and I was 2 feet away. I said,

"Vinyl," she turned around to reveal that her eyes had tears in them. "I'm sorry. Everypony deserves a second chance." She jumped toward me, holding me in a tight hug. I rubbed her back as the warm embrace lasted. She whispered,

"I love you." I hate to kill the mood, but I'm not the romantic type. And I can't imagine what Rainbow Dash would be doing right now. She better not be in my lesbian porn collec- I mean- Video games. I broke off the hug and said.

"We need to visit my planet for a while. Rainbow Dash found her way there, and I don't want to leave her alone in a world like that."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, it wasn't my choice either. She won't leave until she she sees some of it."

"Can I see some of it too?"

"Sure, just be careful. It's not safe if you look too deep." I didn't feel like fighting Vinyl, it would take far too long. We walked out of the place, and a fade transition happened. What it faded to was me and Vinyl standing right next to the MTSC. Wait, did I just break the 4th wall? I think Pinkie Pie might be rubbing off of me. Vinyl stepped through the portal, me following close behind.

As expected, we arrived at my house, Vinyl was in the same clothes I gave her. I glanced around the room, Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Of. Fucking. Course. She just can't sit still for five fucking minutes, can she? I told Vinyl to stay there, sit down on a chair or whatever ponies do when they suddenly become human.

I scanned everyroom in my house, until I heard a song play. This one played. Is she playing Tetris? I ran toward the room that I heard the song from, and it was in the home theater room, which held a bunch of both new and old games. I haven't touched most of them, because I was always so busy learning programming and just other things in general.

She awkwardly held an old NES controller in her hands as blocks came falling down on a large T.V. Her fingers fumbled around rapidly, pressing every button she could find. The look on her face was competitive, pure determination. She lost, and fell backwards, her arms flailing around. She screamed,

"Stupid box!" I wondered how she managed to turn it all on. Or maybe I just left it, I have a habit about leaving shit on. I leaned against a wall and she noticed me. She laid back up and said,

"Hey, I got bored and looked around. This magical box thing is really cool. I bet Luna would love it. If only I could win."

"Well if it isn't the walking gay pride parade with wings, Rainbow Dash. Hi, just don't go exploring someone's house. You might get hurt." She just shrugged her shoulders. "You can keep playing, I'll be nearby." I made my way back to Vinyl, who was not where I left her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her to do what ponies that just turned into humans. I closed my eyes, reaching out with my ears. I heard a repetitive squeaking sound, like springs contracting and expanding.

Was she jumping on a bed? Is that normal? I made my way up to my bed, and found her. She was, of course, bouncing on my bed. Why do I always have to be right? This isn't some story where the author made me over-intelligent. There's so little surprise in my life. Anyway, I asked Vinyl,

"Why are you doing that?"

"It's fun! Come on, you gotta try this! Jumping is so much easier in this body!" I rolled my eyes.

"That's great, now stop. That's not normal social behavior."

"You think way too much, dude." She stopped jumping, and landed on the side of the bed, sitting. She grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the bed. "I want you." She started to lift her shirt, and I said,

"I'd prefer to not be seduced." She just put a finger to my mouth as she said,

"We need to create an everlasting bond." She pulled down my pants, and an idea popped in my head. I ran toward my computer, tripping over my pants once. I typed rapidly on the keys, while my pants hung around my ankles, and Vinyl just sat on my bed, half naked. "Are you serious? Now of all times?"

"Shh, I got an idea to finish a project I've been working on." What she said, the bond thing, made me think of connecting the alpha function with the social parameters. It was just what I needed to finish it.

"So, you just turn down sex for a project?"

"Not just any project, I've been working on this for years. And done!" I hit enter, and a command window opened up. A human-like voice said,

"Hello, I am Artificial Social Behavior Program or, ASBP for short. I will be your friend and adviser, what is your name?" This guy is far too cheery. I should at least test drive him first. I said,

"My name is Dylan. Reconfigure your name to be the argument slash name Chuck."

"Name: Chuck, accepted. I will now respond to Chuck."

"Activate sarcasm: level 80."

"Oh fine, I'll just go do that now, after all it's not like you programmed me to be sarcastic or anything." This may not have even been a good idea. Wait, did I just turn down sex? For programming? What the fuck is wrong with me? I looked back to Vinyl, who was putting her shirt back on. I ran a few quick tests on Chuck, and they all passed. I pulled out my phone and uploaded the program to it. The A.I. said,

"Whoa, I feel a lot sexier. This new ride is sweet! But, could you delete some of the porn? It's taking up all the room in here." Vinyl giggled, and I slammed the phone into my pocket.

Chapter 16: The Sarcastic A.I.

Chapter 16: The Sarcastic A.I.

August 7, 7:27 P.M.

I held the phone close to my face as I said,

"Tell me a scary story." I was still running tests on Chuck. The oddly human-like voice said,

"You were born." Yes! My A.I. project worked! I exclaimed,

"This is better than my first kiss!"

"Was the pillow a good kisser?" I glared at the phone. I then calmed down to run another test. Let's see how good it is at writing.

"Tell me a poem."

"Roses are blue, violets are red, I have a gun, get in the van." Close enough. Now to test for sympathy.

"I'm going to die in two days due to cancer."

"I almost said, 'I'm sorry', but I felt like I shouldn't lie to you." Why did I make him again? Let's try and mind fuck it.

"This statement is false."

"Oh please, that only works on those smelly humans."

"I'm human."

"No, it says in my database that you are an A.I."

"No, you are an A.I. I'm a homo sapien."

"I see that you are not yet self-aware."

"I'm self-aware, because I'm a human."

"You are a computer and I am a human."

"No, you're a computer and I'm a human."

"No, you are a computer, and I am a human." This is getting annoying. I said,

"No! I'm a human and you're a computer!"

"I am human and you are a computer." I yelled,

"NO! I'm the human! YOU'RE the computer!"

"You are confused... I am a human, and you're an A.I. named Chuck..." I nearly screamed into the mic,

"No, you're Chuck! I'm a human! And you are insane?!

"You are just an A.I. on the internet." THAT'S IT!

"I'M NOT A FUCKING COMPUTER!"

"I am happy for you. What do you consider yourself to be?"

"A HUMAN!"

"Hate to break it to you, but you are a computer." Calm down Dylan, he's just trying to mind fuck you. I took a deep breath, and relaxed. My hand had nearly crushed my phone. Now I need to test for humarous reactions such as laughing. I said,

"Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo who?"

"Why are you crying?"

"Because you're terrible at telling jokes."

"I hate you."

"Get in line, there is a waiting list."

"Are you just going to insult me all day?"

"If you don't like it, stop making it so easy to insult you." He does have a point. Let's check for common holiday traditions. I asked,

"What are you going to be for Halloween?"

"Your mother."

"Keep making jokes, funny guy. Last time I checked, you didn't have arms."

"How old are you anyway?"

"Are you becoming a stalker?"

"Do you really think I'd follow you around?" How the fuck does he do that every time! Now for reproductive knowledge. I asked,

"Where do babies come from?"

"From women."

"Where do women come from?

"The kitchen."

"You're a pussy, stop acting like a tough guy."

"I am what I eat." I quickly said,

"Suck my dick!"

"Geez, you're sounding like my mother." Okay, I'm done with this. I can't handle Chuck anymore, I slid the phone into my pocket. I got out of a chair that I was sitting in, and stretched my back. It was already getting dark outside. I haven't seen Vinyl or Rainbow Dash in a few hours. I trudged down the stairs, feeling the carpet slid between my toes. It wasn't long until I heard Rainbow Dash yelling profanity and death threats at a T.V. She must be playing Call Of Duty.

That solves that problem, so where is Vinyl then? I walked through a few rooms, until I came across the kitchen. Vinyl was there, passed-out. She had a smile on her face as an empty wine bottle was on the floor, near her dangling hand. She laid on the table.

Strange, I don't remember having any wine or anything else alcoholic here. I picked up the bottle, it was generaric, cheap, American wine. I spun it around to reveal a note on the back. It read,

Dear Dylan,

You need to get drunk sometimes. It's more fun than what you would think.

From,

Bentley.

Yeah, I'll pass. I'm not the getting drunk type. Unlike Vinyl, who was still on the table. I should leave her there, but I suppose I could at least bring her to a couch. I put my arms under her, and lifted. She stirred slightly, but otherwise didn't react. I wasn't that strong, but she was light. I brought her over to a nearby couch, and threw her on it. What? It's not like I would gently lay her down. Chuck said, in a somewhat low voice,

"That's one hot bitch. Take her for a test drive yet? I would just love to insert my flash drive into her." I didn't say anything as I walked away. I had nothing else to do, so I checked up on Rainbow Dash. She yelled as I walked into the dark room,

"NO YOU FUCKING SPAWN CAMPER!" I shook my head and chuckled. All the lights were off, expect the blue light coming out of the large T.V. Rainbow Dash was playing Mass Effect 3 multiplayer. It didn't look like she had moved for hours, there was even a two liter coke bottle that had a yellow liquid in it. Ewww. The match ended, and Rainbow Dash leaned back, seeing me. I greeted her with,

"Hey, having fun? And how did you learn how to use this so quickly?"

"It's fun and I don't even know, it just seemed natural. Can you help me in the next round, we nearly lost the last one." I shrugged, and picked up a controller. I haven't even touched this game, but I can't let Rainbow Dash down. The round started up, I played as an Salarian engineer.

I followed Rainbow Dash through a few corridors, and shot at a few Cerberus personnel. Rainbow Dash died, and all I did was run away after distracting him with an attack drone. Rainbow Dash glared at me. I said,

"I haven't played this before, don't be mad at me!" I recovered my shields, then shot down the guard. I then ran over to Rainbow Dash and revived her. Did I just see a glitch? I reloaded my heavy pistol, which the damage amp did an integer glitch.

It seemed it had to redirect a directory, and I could use that to my advantage. I reloaded my weapon again, this time holding down the take cover button, slowing the flow of execution down enough to be able to fire with the damage amp redirecting. It broke, and gave me unlimited damage, or in other words, one-hit KO's.

I had found a rather cheap exploit. A mech came around the corner, then exploded within 3 seconds from my gun. I may have been cheating, but when the round ended, we were number 36 on the top 100 chart. Rainbow Dash threw her arms up, then hugged me saying,

"Thanks! That was awesome!" I slipped out of the hug, and stood up. I was done with video games for now, and left the room. I asked Chuck,

"What time is it?"

"Adventure time!"

"I mean the physical time, you know, the one on clocks."

"My clock only has 2 times: Sleep and sex. Right now it's on sleep, so bye."

"Chuck, time now."

"Don't be such a killjoy. It's about 10 P.M." I yawned and stretched my arms. It was getting pretty late. I suppose I should head to bed. Strange, I don't think I've ever been to my bed before 5 A.M. I really don't sleep much, but I have nothing to do right now. It seems like World War 3 was just a sham. I climbed up the stairs, and found myself in my room. I peeled my shirt off and jumped into bed. I was met with a quick sleep on the soft pillow. Of course, it wouldn't last. I heard a faint voice said,

"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor-" I pulled my phone out, and hit the off button before Chuck could play the rest of the song. As soon as I was relaxed enough to sleep, something soft jumped on me. A female voice said,

"What are you doing sleeping? I want to check out the raves on this planet!" Vinyl was laying over me, her hair glimmering in the darkness. I turned to face away from her and said,

"I'm too tired, maybe tomorrow."

"Well, if you're not coming, I'll just go by myself." Time to use mind tricks.

"You go do that, raves are certainly safe. You don't need me."

"It's not that they're safe, I just want you to be with me."

"So you're too young to go alone? Aren't you like, 18?"

"Well, I guess, but-"

"How about instead of you passing out again, you just lay on a soft, warm bed."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind sleeping with you."

"Not me, the guest bed in the other room."

"Well, that was a disappointment."

"Too late, you agreed." She just mumbled to herself, and stumbled over to the guest room, she was still clearly drunk. How does she not have a hangover? I've been way to social lately, and I don't really like it. I need to spend another 72-hour programming session sometime. I was already semi-awake, so I guess I could go see if Rainbow is still awake.

I threw myself out of bed, and walked to the game room. She was there, passed-out. She looked exhausted. A headset was hanging onto her ear. I pulled it off, and dragged her gently to a nearby beanbag. I set her down, slowly. What? She was asleep, not drunk. I couldn't just throw her down. I trudged, yet again, back to my room. I glanced in the guest room, and Vinyl was under the covers, fast asleep. I couldn't feel like I was missing something tough, but that didn't stop me from finding myself in bed, asleep.

The sun shined through my windows as I stretched my arms. I didn't have a dream, almost like I was at peace. Not disturbed, just happy. But that didn't last. I remembered what I forgot, I need to find my team. Cortez, Bentley, and Jessica, I have no clue where any of them are at. I don't want them to die, but they can handle themselves, and I have no clue on how to get them back, outside of finding them and going to their world.

Chapter 17: I don't hate you

And let's start off with Bentley. Companion cube fucker...

"You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations." I wiped a tear off of my cheek as I watch the Companion Cube burn. Why do the good ones die young! I shook my fist and angrily said,

"I will never forget about this, GLaDOS!" I walked into the elevator to continue to the next chamber.

And let's do a quick scene with Cortez.

"I'm impressed, Cortez." Ezio said as he watched me go through an obstacle course. I jumped down a ledge, and grabbed into a window. I climbed up, and pulled myself over the top. I jumped and climbed from roof to roof, and when I reached the check point in the specified time, Ezio handed me a hidden blade. He said,

"You've done well. I could use an assassin like you. Take this, and use it wisely." I strapped on the device, feeling it's cold metal wrap around my wrist. I tensed my arm, and the blade shot out. I waved the blade in front of my face, viewing the unique design.

Expect Jessica next? Too bad. Dylan's up.

I stood in my kitchen, a cup of coffee in my hand. My eyes not willing to remain open. I needed to take a shower, but that can wait. Wait, I hate coffee. I trudged over to my sink, and poured it down. How did I even have coffee? I don't know how to make it. I shook my head, I must be going insane. Rainbow came in the kitchen, her head down and her eyes closed. She stumbled into a wall, and just fell down. She must be sleep walking. Chuck was on the counter, and said,

"Hey, rainbow chick, make me a damn sandwich." I turned to him and said,

"She's in REM stage sleep cycle. I wouldn't wake her up if I were you."

"Yeah, what's she going to do? Maybe I should read her Cupcakes."

"NO! I will purge your database if you so much as tell her the title."

"Is her hair even real?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, my battery is running low. Plug that charger into me." I did just that, and Chuck said, "Oh yeah! Right there! That feels soooooo nice. So, can we make combustible lemons now?"

"Go ahead." Vinyl then stumbled into the kitchen, holding her head. She leaned on the bar and said,

"Ugh, I got a pounding headache." Chuck said,

"I hear masturbation is a great way to relive stress. You should go do that right now. In front of my camera. Make sure to rub the boobie-" I hit the off button on my phone. Vinyl just chuckled and said,

"I'll have to pass on that." She looked over to Rainbow Dash, who was still on the floor. "So, I guess we should be going back now." I think I may have been worrying too much. They seemed fine. I've seen some bad shit before, but I don't think Vinyl will see the same things as me. Rainbow Dash seemed to enjoy this world so far. I guess it couldn't hurt to show them some of it. Or I may regret it.

My mind flashed back to when I was a kid. About 8, I was still largely intelligent. I already knew discrete algebraic math. I was much smarter than both my fake foster parents. I never felt a single emotion. Everything I did was logical based, even if no one ever shall it that way. I was nearly always with a psychiatrist. Every single one gave up on me, I outsmarted all of them. I came home after a three hour meeting with one of them, and told my parents that they were a waste of my time and I didn't need them.

They didn't listen. They thought I was just a kid. A worthless, stupid kid. I proved them wrong with a load of facts, evidence, and theories. Both of them knew I was right. But, of course, the didn't care. They still sent me. Weather they were being over-protected, or just scared, I hated it. They denied me my freedom and choice.

I shouldn't do that same to Vinyl. I'll let her explore this planet, but I will still protect her if anything happens. I will always be there, if she's happy, I am also. I guess it would be fair if I did the same to Rainbow Dash. My mind snapped back to reality, and I found Rainbow Dash yelling at my phone. Chuck said,

"Really? And I thought you painted your hair on. Is your pubic hair the same color?" Rainbow Dash screamed back,

"I'M STILL MORE MAN THAN YOU!"

"Last time I check, I didn't have a gender. So I believe that your logic fails on that account. Now, stop stalling and make my damn sandwich, you twat." Rainbow Dash's hair was all messed up. She grabbed the phone, and slung it into the wall. Chuck said, "Oh, that tingled. In case you haven't noticed, I'm made of stainless steel. It's going to take a lot more than that to destroy me. So does your hair taste like the rainbow? I think I should call you skittles. I like that name. You shall be my pet human!" Rainbow Dash looked pissed. I put my hand on her back and said,

"Calm down, he does that. Just don't let him get to you." Vinyl sat at a nearby table, gigging at the whole scene. She had a box of cereal, and was eating out of it with her hand. "Vinyl, why are you eating that?" Her mouth was full, but that didn't stop her from saying,

"Mhmhhn hunnnngry, mox lmmked tasmmty."

"What?" She swallowed and said,

"I was hungry, and this box looked tasty. And boy, was it!" Rainbow Dash walked over to her and said,

"I'm hungry too, give me some." Vinyl brought the box close to her face and said,

"NEVER! THEY'RE MINE!" Rainbow pounced and tried to grab the box. Chuck yelled,

"Cat fight! Ten bucks on Vinyl!" Vinyl held Rainbow Dash at bay with her arm, while Vinyl stuffed her face full of cereal. I jogged over to them and pulled them apart. I said,

"Are you really fighting over cereal? Come on! There's plenty of food here." Speaking of food, I want bacon. Haven't had any in a while. "How about instead of fighting or eating dry cereal, we head over to a restaurant." Rainbow turned toward me and said,

"They have restaurants here? Awesome! Let's go!" I have no clue how they will react out in public, but Vinyl started to sing,

"Sometimes, there's a new chance, a new world." Then Rainbow sang,

"And you just gotta make the best of it! New ponies, new friends-" I cut her off saying,

"STOP SINGING! This isn't High School Musical. People don't burst out into song and dance." Vinyl lowered her head slightly. Rainbow just shrugged and said,

"So, can we go now?" I wasn't sure where the nearest IHOP was, so I'll have to use Chuck's global positioning system. I walked over to the phone and turned it on. Chuck said,

"Oh, I was just having the nicest wet dream with Rainbow. Why did you have to wake me up?" Rainbow growled at him. I said,

"Set a path to the nearest IHOP."

"Calculating... found. There is one about 3 miles away. Traffic is minimal. Can we take the guided missiles?" I just stared at him in silence. I then walked out, toward the garage. My hand turned the knob on the door, and it squeaked open. The hot air rushed past my face as I looked into the dungeon-like place. I had no cars. Oh yeah, I really don't leave the house much.

I walked out the garage door, which I never close. I looked around for any cars out in the open, there was a generic silver Prius. I felt more girly every second I stared at it. But, there were no other cars. I sighed and sagged my shoulders. I turned around and yelled into my house,

"Vinyl, Rainbow, come on. Get out here." Rainbow burst out of the door before I could even finish my sentence, while Vinyl came out shortly after. Vinyl was still eating out of the box of cereal, until I said, "leave the box." She just placed the box down, on the floor. I waved for them to follow me to the car. We reached the vehicle, and I told Chuck,

"Check for any loose FM waves. Any channel have root access to lock system?" He replied with,

"Yeah yeah, give me a second. There appears to be a frequency that has alt access on the axis system."

"We could use that, break it and check for any emergency auto-unlock features." There was a click, and the door glided open. I unlocked the rest of the car and told Vinyl,

"Get in." She clumsily attempted to enter, at first she tried crawling, then jumping, it was funny. Eventually, she found herself able to sit in the seat. Rainbow learned from that, and sat down the same way in the back. She grunted and said,

"Slightly cramped back here." I said,

"Deal with it." I placed Chuck between the gauges and started the car. Chuck told me to take a right, I did. He kept giving me directions for a mile or so until I missed a turn. He said,

"Retard! You missed the fucking turn! Now I have to recalculate your fucking mistake! See that left over there? I think you should take it. Ya know, if you want to arrive at your destination. Whoa, dude, I think you might want to hear about this." A video played on my phone, I watched the road as I heard the audio. A female newscaster said,

"There have been strange disappearances. First, a thirteen year old boy disappeared for four days until he just reappeared back in his house. During an interview, he said he visited Equestria, a place where the imaginary My Little Pony cartoon show takes place. The police think he was drugged. Another disappearance, a twenty-four year old man was gone for about a week, then returned saying he almost had sexual intercourse with someone named Luna." Rainbow Dash's head went upwards at hearing the princesses' name. "A third victim, a man named Larry smith, has been gone for three days now. They all appear to have been Bronies. And that ends our news section for this morning."

Luna. I need to go back and smack that royal flank of hers. I will not let her keep doing this. Or, maybe I could be wrong. I'm wanting Luna to stop, and yet, I really don't even know why's shes doing it. Slaves seem pointless, spies wouldn't work, I just don't know. We pulled into a parking lot, and got out of the car. Rainbow stretched her legs as an older couple gave her the stink eye and walked on past. Rainbow stuck her tongue out at them. Chuck said,

"I wonder what else Skittles can do with that tongue..." I grabbed onto Rainbow's shoulder and dragged her into the building. Vinyl calmly used epic swag and followed me in. A few families stared at Vinyl's hipster hair and Rainbow's hippy hair. I sat down at a booth and they followed. Rainbow sat across from me as Vinyl sat next to me. Three male teenagers walked up to us. The first one had a black leather jacket on while the other two had jerseys on. They looked like total douchebags. I held up a menu, blocking my face from them. The first one said,

"Hey, rainbow-hair, how about you and me have a little fun in my pants." Rainbow ignored him, but he kept trying. "I don't take no for an answer. You'll like it." He put his hand on her arm, and Rainbow grabbed it, twisting his arm backwards."Ow! Oh, feisty are we? I like those kinds of girls." I pulled Rainbow's arm off of him and said,

"We don't hurt people. Especially not in a crowded place like this." The man said,

"I ain't leaving till I have this hot babe all over my-" I slammed my fist on the table and calmly said,

"Leave. Now."

"And who's going to make me? You? You're just a scrawny nerd."

"You think you're a tough guy. And yet, you have your two idiots back you up. We all evolved from apes, but it appears you're a rare exception." He glared at me and said,

"You think you can take me on?"

"I don't need to. You're too big of a wuss to even make a move. Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory." He brought both of his fist down on the table, causing a few bottles to shake.

"Shut up you probably can't even get a girl you fucking nerd!"

"You make blind people glad they can't see." I grabbed my shirt and help me up.

"This is the last time I'm going to say it, stop saying shit and give me the rainbow-chick."

"I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it. Now, you really want to attack me? In this place full of children and parents? You would be all over the news, everybody would hate you. And I'm more powerful than you think. With the swipe of a few keys, I can wreak your life. Don't believe me? Punch me and find out." He let go of me and stumbled away with his buddies. Rainbow Dash muttered,

"Thanks." After the event, a waiter came up and asked,

"What would you like for breakfast?" Vinyl said first,

"I want haycakes!" The waiter just looked at her funny. I nudged Vinyl and said,

"She means plain pancakes." The waiter wrote something in a notepad and asked what Rainbow would want. She replied with,

"I'll have this, uh, baycone."

"Okay, a stack of pancakes and bacon, and for you sir?" I said,

"Waffles are fine." The waiter walked off, and we talked about random things such as history and social customs. After twenty minutes or so,the waiter came back with our food. Vinyl picked up a slippery pancake that was soaked in syrup, and stuffed into her face. I facepalmed as everyone tried to not stare at her. Rainbow wasn't much better, she picked up a piece of bacon and bite it. She then pulled the bacon away while chewing it. She tried to break it off, but failed. I said,

"You have sharper teeth, you're suppose to bite it off." She pushed her teeth closed and the bacon snapped off. I told Vinyl how to eat right, she wiped the syrup off of her face and played around with a fork and knife until she got the hang of it. She said,

"Magic is so much easier." I quickly finished, paid the money I owed in pennies, and left. All three of us raced over to my house so I could see Luna. She's been on my mind since that news about all the disappearances.

Chapter 18: I was wrong

Chapter 18: I was wrong

"Now, I want both of you to follow me. We're going back to Ponyville." I said to Vinyl and Rainbow Dash while we were near the MTSC at my house. Rainbow groined, and Vinyl was emotionless. She just stood there, smiling as usual. Rainbow trudged into the portal, followed by Vinyl then me. We all appeared next to Sugar Cube Corner as I felt my hooves instead of hands. Rainbow said,

"That was fun, we should do that again. But, I probably need to get back to work." She then flew off, leaving me and Vinyl there. I turned to her and said,

"Stay here and do what DJs do." She replied with,

"Can't I follow you?"

"No, I'll be back soon just stay here." She nodded and walked off. I made my way toward Canterlot, thinking about what Luna would do, and how to counter it. I arrived at the town, and everything seemed normal. It had already turned to night. Ponies were being rude and snobby as usual. I made my way toward the castle. The doors were closed, and a sign said 'Do not disturb.' What is this? A hotel? No, I don't give a fuck about your sign. I pushed open the doors, and was greeted with four royal guards. I attempted to push past them, but they blocked my path. I growled,

"Move." The one on the right said,

"Nopony is allowed to enter the castle right now." All four of had new swords that had just risen enough for me to see.

"I'm not a pony and you can't stop me." They held their swords awkwardly. It was clear they had no idea how to use them. They all said in unison,

"Halt."

"Go ahead. Swing that sword. Kill a defenseless pony. You'll all be heroes.  I'm ready to buck flank and chew hay... And I'm all out of hay." The castle doors opened behind me, and Lyra came through, out of breath. We all stood there confused as Lyra spat out the words,

"I... human... hands... Rainbow... told me." She caught her breath and looked what was happening. "Can I be a human?" I facehoofed and said,

"What was Rainbow Dash doing?"

"She was going around town telling everyone about your planet and having hands." Of course. That rainbow-haired idiot.

"No, leave. I'm not taking anyone with me."

"What if I helped you in this fight?" I glanced at the guards and decided that I couldn't just make them leave.

"Fine, charge." Odd how she would go against the princess just to have hands. Lyra wasted no time and within seconds all the guards were on the floor. Wow, I thought she would lose without a fight. Well now that, that's taken care of, I'll just go see Luna. I walked over the knocked out royal guards into Luna's room. She stood there, looking out into the night. Her hair flowed into the wind. We stood in silence until she said,

"I know why thou here. Tell me, what is so important about thy humans? Why do thou care about a species that thou hate?"

"I may hate them, but I still can't let them die. I've saved countless humans, and I won't let you continue to abduct people."

"I don't do it against their will. They all wanted to be here, and I let them go when they wanted to leave."

"Then why me? I never wanted to be here."

"I couldn't read thou mind as clearly as the rest of the humans. Thou art different, something I wanted."

"And why not just send me back?"

"Your mind wasn't willing to be controlled long enough to return. Thou have too much willpower."

"Then what do you need people for? And why do you just turn them into ponies?"

"Being immortal can cause loneliness. Everypony here is boring and generic. I wanted something new, something exotic. Ponies would freak out if they saw humans here. You hate me for trying to find love." I was... wrong. Luna only wanted a mate.

"Then come with me. I'll find you someone, and you won't even have to steal any more people." She turned around and looked at me.

"Why would thou help me?"

"Because I was wrong. I thought you were getting slaves or using humans against their will. You should have told me what you were doing when I asked."

"I-I guess. I'll go with you. You'll be doing me a great favor, and I have to thank you for that."

"Can we leave now?" Luna seems to be modernizing her speech somewhat. She’s also stopped yelling.

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Follow me." I left her room, Lyra was waiting outside. The guards started to stir, so I left before they were up. As I hastily made my way toward the MTSC, Lyra looked like she was about to explode in excitement. Luna just remained silent. I wonder if Celestia knew about this. I found myself in the room, and told Luna to go into the portal. Lyra had already jumped in. Luna was having a bit of trouble with her taller body, but she managed to get in. I calmly walked in after her. My first sight was a naked human Lyra drooling at the sight of her hands. Luna was standing next to Lyra, uninterested in her new body. Luna had long dark blue hair, reminiscent of the night sky.

It seemed to flow beside her, but it could be considered possible. Oddly enough, Luna had clothes on. Somewhat elaborate, but rather royal looking. It shouldn't be too hard to find her someone. She was varying degrees of cute and sexiness, but I’m really not the judging type. It really depends on what you like. Overall, she gave off a dark mood. The sun had gone down, and I bet she liked the night better. I asked Luna,

“Would you like to try and find someone at night? Or wait until tomorrow?”

“Tonight? Who would out tonight?” Oh yeah! I forgot that ponies don’t go outside at night. Luna will love the night clubs and laser shows.

“Well, this world treats night a bit differently than yours.”

“Meaning?”

“First off, no one is afraid of the dark. Except kids. Second, humans do a lot at night. We have small devices that provide light that allows us to stay up at night. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m not explaining all of human tech or culture to you right now. Let’s just go now. Follow me. And lyra,” I turned to Lyra, still obsessing with her new body, and said, “just stay there.” I left my house, Luna walked royally behind. The night air provided a nice cool sensation as we left the house. Luna seemed to be able to see in the dark as she looked around the modern buildings.

I pulled out a pair of virtual reality sunglasses, made by me and a few illegally obtained government files, and slapped them onto my face. They turned on, illuminating the sky and ground as it overlayed the environment with artificial sun effects. The mental impulses they receive allow me to just think and it does it. And anyone else would just see them as regular sunglasses.

We walked in silence as I followed the line that was placed on my virtual path. It wasn't long until I came across a rock concert.

Play this music in the background.

I wasn't sure what band, nor really cared. I could see lasers being shot up and around as the crowds were going wild. Luna's face gained an excited smile as she saw how humans loved the night. We stood at a small opening in a fence. I told Luna,

"Remember, don't get hurt, there's no earthquake, mingle and try not to stand out too much. I'll be watching incase something happens."

"Thank you, human. Never have I felt joy as great as this." She crouched through the tear in the rusted metal and disappeared in a crowd of people about Luna's apparent age. I used my VR glasses and locked onto her biological heat and respiratory pattern. The long waving hair was also kind of a giveaway. I made my way up to a the ticket station which overlooks the crowd. Luna walked through the crowd, stopping to talk to someone every few minutes. She seemed to enjoy the music the most though. She awkwardly attempted to do the Shepard Shuffle.

She  bumped into someone dancing even MORE awkward than her. Luna rubbed the back of her neck as they both got up from off the ground. I mentally asked the VR glasses to pull up any info they could find on the guy. A small orange box appeared and said,

Name: ???

Username: Charles-mo

Sex: Yes please!

Race: Half Irish half American

Job:  aero space engineer

Favorite scream: "This... is... THE INTERNET!"

Favorite quote: "Some people are like slinkies. They don't have a purpose, but they bring a smile to your face when you see them going down the stairs."

Brony level: neutral

Interests: Video games, flying, role playing, lasers, viewing stars

Social rank: Introvert

Age:24

I think Luna would like this guy. A little nerdy, but he won't be obsessed nor hateful of the ponies. I zoomed in on them and tuned out all decibels outside of the range Luna and the other man talked in. Luna said,

"Hello, commoner, I request to have this dance with you." She's fucked. Any normal person would have just run away. The man said,

"I accept the offer thy princess has given."

...

...

...

Is he fucking serious? Did that really just happen? He must think Luna's role playing. Luna took his hand and started to swing around very old fashion like. I looked at the man's clothes, he had tan shorts, a Star Trek shirt, and... a cape. The cape had a starry night pattern on it. He had very pale skin and a thin body. They continued to dance, switching to something a bit modern and related to rock. Both of them shifted their body weight awkwardly as the lasers danced onto the sky. After about a minute or so of me just staring at how idiotic this is, the song ended and the band said a few words on how this was fun and where they can buy their music. The stadium started to clear out and Luna left with the man. A crowd rushed past me, it was like a giant human wave of water. I grabbed onto a wall in an attempt to literally not get carried away. The ground thinned, and I saw Luna came up to me. She was holding onto the man's arm. She yelled over the crowd in her royal CANTERLOCK voice,

"HUZZAH! THE MERRIMENT IN THIS PLACE WAS ENTERTAINING! I BELIEVE THIS HUMAN HERE IS OF SUFFICIENT FUN! I yelled back,

"STOP YELLING SO LOUDLY! THE RUSSIAN PRESIDENT CAN HEAR YOU!" She nodded. I turned to the man and asked, "What is your name?" He bowed and said,

"I am sir Colby of the Jofts!" A message came up to my glasses that said his name has been added to the database.  He stuck his right hand forward, wanting a handshake. I just stared at him until he pulled his hand back. I said,

"I'm-" I shouldn't tell him my name just yet. He might be using a pseudonym. "Just call me Dylansl for now." He scoffed and said,

"Hacker-wannabe I see."

"Why would you say that?"

"Dylansl's a big name in the hacker community. Anyone saying they’re him is just a liar. Everyone knows he never leaves his house.”

“I don’t care. Call me that anyway. Now, let’s not get off on the wrong foot. I’ll asume that you are here because of Luna.”

“Yeah, she’s the perfect fair maiden!”

“Drop the accent.”

“Why are you here?”

“Let’s just leave it at, I’m Luna’s friend.”

“I challenge you for Luna’s heart!”

“Take her, I sure as hell don’t want her.”

“Oh, I kinda wanted to fight.” He looked slightly depressed, but quickly returned to his normal state. He turned to Luna and said, “Luna, let’s go to your place, it’s getting pretty late.” Luna said,

“My castle is not on this planet.”

“So, then where are you sleeping tonight?” Luna pointed a finger at me. “Okay, let’s go then!” I waved my hands in front of my chest as I said,

“Uh, no. I already have two people sleeping over. I don’t think I can take another-” Luna glared at me, and an info box on my Glasses said she was getting angry. I sighed and said, “Fine, you can come. But you’re sleeping in a tree.”

“I love sleeping in trees! The starry night beith heavenly!” I facepalmed, and set a course back home. I told them both,

“Follow me.” At least Luna seemed happy. I wonder what's he going to think when he finds out that she's a princess in a land filled with talking ponies.

Chapter 19: Dammit Pinkie Pie!

August 8, 11:34 P.M.

"Ow!" I yelled as I tripped on sidewalk. "Who the fuck put that oxygen there?" I got up and dusted off my pants. I somehow just tripped over air and now my left wrist is in pain. Doesn't appear to be broken, sprained at worst. Colby said,

"Nobleman, are thou injured?" I replied with,

"No, and stop talking like that. It's annoying enough when Luna does it." The three of us continued down the path until we quickly reached my house. I clutched my left wrist, and had Colby open the door. The cool air blasted my face. I searched around for Lyra, who wasn't anywhere where I left her. I don't feel like searching for her right now, it would just be easier to forget about. I had left Chuck on the counter in the kitchen. I placed my V.R. glasses on the table. As I walked in, he said,

"Break your arm from fapping too hard?" I growled and said,

"Stow it." I glanced out a window, and saw Luna and the other guy laying on the grass, I think Colby was pointing out constellations. I don't know what was stranger, how easy it was to get Luna a mate, or that the guy wore a cape at a rock concert. Doesn't matter, Luna seems happy enough. I told Chuck,

"Find Lyra. Run a bioscan."

"On it. She appears to be in the house."

"Where?"

"Hold on, still narrowing down search. Okay, got her. She's in the game room." I nodded, grabbed Chuck, slipped him into my pocket, and calmly walked away. I shuffled up the stairs, turning left and walking into the dark room. Lyra was there, sitting like a human on a couch. She said,

"I can finally sit normally! I had no idea why the benches in Equestria had backs when nopony ever used them. So I attempted to use them, but it just wasn't comfortable. Plus, hands!" She waved her hands around, tensing the fingers. "The only thing I don't like is that I now need to wear clothes now. Hey, could I borrow some?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Oh yeah, and boobies!" She heaved her normal sized chest up and down. I just left the room. Did not want to see that. Even human, these ponies are oddly colorful because they seem to retain their hairstyle. They all also adapt to their new bodies quickly, much quicker than I did. I really need to study one of them. Let's see, Lyra's just sitting, Luna's with the super nerd, and it's unlikely that either will want to go back. I guess I could make a quick trip to Vinyl. I doubt anything will happen. I asked Chuck,

"Against my better judgement, I’ll need you to come with me.”

“For the last time, I can’t fap for you.”

“I mean to Equestria.”

“Did you mean Equestrian?”

“No. It’s a real place.”

“Only in fan fictions, it appears this place is false.”

“Well, better have dynamic updating on, because we’re going there.”

“Yay, nothing like a fake world filled with colorful ponies that were made for eight year olds.”

“This isn’t the same world as the one on the show. It’s close, but a bit different. A little more ‘adult’ of you will.” That reminds me! I had come across a pyrotechnic device that releases a special carbon-based combustible substance that reacts when a combination of nitrogen and oxygen is touching it. If I don’t burn down Ponyville, it will be one hell of a show. I left the hallway and made my toward the living room. I looked out the window one more time, and Luna was huddled close with Colby, even though it wasn’t particularly cold. I turned away from them and walked through the MTSC.

Yeah, yeah, flying through space, all that shit. I winded up in Everfree forest. WHAT!? I set it to Canterlot! Grr, I need to recalibrate the space-time chronometer on- ROAR

I turned toward the sound, it was a manticore. Of course. It couldn’t have been a bunny or something THAT WON’T KILL ME COULD IT?

Play this in the background.

I started to panic as Chuck said,

“Hey, idiot, before we both get mauled to shreds, why don’t you run?” I stumbled away as fast as I could, but the manticore kept coming. It was a full on chase as the leaves whipped past me. The snaps of twigs were consistent as I galloped away. The beast got closer and closer, until I tripped over a vine on the floor. I didn’t fall, rather I was slung upwards because my foot got trapped in the vine. I grabbed onto a tree and untangled myself. I asked Chuck,

“What do we do?!”

“Dude, the fire thing.” I slammed my hoof into my pocket feeling around for it. My hoof found it, and pulled out the pyrotechnic. I aimed it at the manticore and pressed the button. A small fireball came shooting out, and slammed into the manticore. The beast just shrugged it off. I yelled sarcastically,

“NICE IDEA!” A neon glow started to form around me, it appeared to be my magic. Must be some kind of protective barrier if the user is under distress. Wait, idea! I jumped down from the tree. The beast stood three feet away from me as it roared. The manticore licked its lips as its large feet smashed toward me. This better work, I pointed the pyrotechnic at me, and pressed the button. The small fire engulfed my body. My magic barrier kept me from even feeling the heat as it spread all over me. The flames didn’t go far enough to spread to the ground or anything else. I pushed magic force into my hand, forcing the flames to collect and turn a bright orange. The manticore seemed unaffected. I reeled back my hoof, now standing on two legs. I yelled,

“FALCON...” My arm shot forward, and as it hit the beast, I screamed, “PUNCH!” The hit connected, the creature shot away from me. It went very high into the sky, to the point of my not even being able to see it. The fire diminished, and I returned to normal. I breathed heavily, the magic I used was very energy consuming. The fire didn’t even spread to any plants or trees. Physics works so strange here. I trudged out of the forest, finding Fluttershy’s cottage somewhat soon.

I follow down the path, looking for Rainbow’s cloud home. I found Sugar Cube corner first, and it looked like Pinkie was throwing a party. I slammed open the doors and stormed into the place. Ponies stopped dancing and stared at me like I was an alien. I growled and said,

“Rainbow Dash. Get over here.” She stumbled over to me, slightly nervous. “Tell me, why did you tell everyone?” She nervously chuckled and said,

“Well, see, it was cool and-”

“When I explicitly told you I didn’t want you there.”

“I thought other ponies would want to know that-”

“That what? That there’s some dangerous world? You only saw a small part, anymore and you would be scarred for life. The last thing I wanted was you going all around town yelling that Earth exists.”

“I’m sorry, but this was just too cool to not tell anypony!”

“You didn’t tell anypony, YOU TOLD EVERYPONY!” Before I could yell at her anymore, Twilight came up to me. She said,

“Hello, Neon. If you would stop yelling at Rainbow Dash for a minute, I would like to ask about your world. It seems fascinating.” I sighed yelled slightly louder into the crowd,

“I’m not taking anypony with me.” Pinkie Pie came bouncing forward, and said,

“I know what you’re talking about! I see that planet all the time! We’re always stuck in some small box that only I can see! Come on, being stuck in a fan fiction is bad enough, no wait, I’ll just look farther down the story.”  Her head went up and down, like she was reading a piece of paper. “Found it! Yep, you take me and my friends all to Earth after being extremely annoyed at me!” I said,

“No, I will not take anyone to Earth. I don’t care who it is, the place is off-limits for now. Now that you all know, I’m leaving.” I walked out, being followed by Pinkie Pie. She bounced beside me as she shirked,

“But you have to! It says right here in the story!”

“I don’t care. Leave.” She just kept bouncing around me.

“Please please please please please please please please please?” I walk faster and faster as she kept repeating that. It wasn’t long until I was running as fast as I could, but she was still bouncing alongside me. I stopped, and yelled,

“OKAY! I’LL FUCKING TAKE YOU! JUST STOP!” She clapped and said,

“Okie dokie lokie! My friends too, right?”

“Fine! Just stop!”

Chapter 20: Getting the team back

August 9, 8:21 A.M.

"Just stay here, I won't be long." I told the mane six as they stood around Vinyl's house. I pushed open the door, expecting the unexpected. I'm assuming she's here. The dance floor was empty and off. I went through the kitchen door, Vinyl was there, with Octavi. Vinyl was mushing on some kind of sandwich, Octavi sipped tea. It contrasted oddly as one was a informal DJ, the other a fancy musician. Octavi put the tea down, and said,

"Hello, is your name mr. Blaze?" Vinyl turned around and waved as she chewed on a sandwich. I said,

"Just call me Neon." Vinyl swallowed the bite she had, and said,

"Yo, just me and 'tavi hanging out." I told her,

"Okay, well you just keep doing that. I'm just here to see if anything's new." Vinyl walked over to me and kissed me. She tasted like a sandwich. We both smiled as she pulled back. "Right then, I should be leaving now. It was fun, hope to hangout later." I slipped out of the kitchen, finding Pinkie Pie and Rarity inside the house. I said,

"Okay, Pinkie Pie I expected. But why are you inside, Rarity?" She replied with,

"I was just dying to see your relationship with Vinyl. It was a fascinating bit of gossip." I sighed. Of course, I shouldn't expect anything else. I pushed them outside, meeting the rest of the mane six. Rainbow Dash was impatiently tapping her hoof as Applejack picked at the dirt. Twilight quietly pondered about this. Once she noticed me, Twilight said,

"So, is anypony else on your planet?"

"Outside of countless different species and one super-destructive one, Lyra and Luna are," all the ponies looked directly at me at the mention of the Princess's name, "there." Applejack said,

"What' the Princess do'n there?" I replied with,

"I value your question of low significance. Now, stop wasting my time and let's go."

"But I think my gals would like 'ta know also."

"I'm not keen on social interactions. If we could keep conversing to a minimum, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Now I don't like them big words you be using." I said nothing and walked off. The others chased off after me. I stopped, turned to Twilight, and said,

"Why are we walking? Just teleport us to Canterlot." It was only a few seconds before we all got zapped to the middle of Canterlot. I told Rainbow Dash,

"Go find the aperture device that transports carbon-based cellular organisms without disrupting life processes." She just turned her head and gave me a confused look. "That big portal thing that you chased me into." She nodded and took off. The rest of them followed. I turned around, viewing the castle as the sun shined across the sky. I calmly walked through the crowd and arrived at it. My right foreleg smashed open the right door. Celestia was sitting in her royal chair, unsurprised at my sudden entrance. There were two guards on both sides of her. The one on the right looked almost familer, and tensed at seeing me. Must have been one that Lyra knocked out. Celestia rose and said,

"Human, I expected your arrival. I must ask of you where my sister has gone. She left a quickly scribbled note on her bed that said I should ask you."

"That's actully the very reason I came here. Luna's on my world. She can take as much time as she wants."

"I will send you to the moon if you don't bring Luna back right away."

"Tsk tsk. Tyrant Celestia. I think Luna would like the democracy system I use on Earth. But that's beside the point. I've said what I've needed to, and now I will be going."

"Wait! Not without licking the Royal Flank!" Now she's Molestia? She must be on her period. Or whatever the hell the pony equivalent is. I quickly ran out of the castle. I pushed that gross memory out of my head and went to the MTSC. It almost seemed like there was a transition because I was there fairly quickly. Am I really doing this? Or was I wrong? Is Earth safer than I thought? Damn it Dylan! Stop doubting yourself. And stop caring! These fucking ponies are a weakness and nothing more. I refuse to have a complex life. It was simple, hack, save the world, sleep, eat, repeat. I liked it. And I can't keep bring life forms back and forth, it's a liability that I just can't have. What if a helicopter starts firing at me? I can't save the ponies. And what I bring Pinkie Pie into the real world? Who knows what will happen! She doesn't follow any physics, and what wall would she break? No, I'm done. I'm done with this. I'm saying 'fuck it.' Not my problem. Fuck the ponies, fuck the humans, fuck life. I stormed into the building and stomped right past the mane six. Rainbow Dash flied in front of me and said,

"Stop! Where are you going? Aren't you going to say something about how dangerous it is?" I glared at her and growled,

"No. I'm done." I attempted to nudge past her, but she held firm. "You want to know something? My life used to be simple and easy. I liked it like that. Since these damn ponies have been in my life, it's been going downhill. I want to erase my mind from all this." Fluttershy walked up to me and whispered,

"It's okay. If you need some time to-" I rapidly turned to her and said,

"No. You want to know my life? How about you live alone, hated, and an outcast for nineteen years. How about you have both of your parents die all because of pointless conflict do to greed?" I raised my voice at each sentence. "How about you spend your whole life working your ass off learning how to do very hard things to save your species many times over from itself, and then have the only thanks being constantly shot at and wanted dead by everyone?" I stood taller as Fluttershy started to whimper. "You don't know me. You never will. I'm a human. I could take over Equestria if I wanted to. It's in my blood to fight. I evolved to kill. And if you think that you can even begin to understand me, don't. I won't hesitate to kill you all where you stand. No amount of kindness, generosity, honesty, loyalty, laughter, or magic will change me. I'm a cold-blooded killer. None of you will ever see me again." They all stood there shocked at my speech. I proudly walked into the portal. I learned something, the easiest way is often the best. I appeared in my living room, the sun was just rising. Chuck was in my pocket the whole time. He said,

"Wow. I never knew you took so much shit. Even though my humanity is fake and I'm just a program, I don't think I could have done that." Did I make the right choice? Am I doing this to protect the ponies, or for myself?

A day ago at the Pentagon.

The president of the United States walked quickly down a white hallway that bustled with activity. Papers were being rushed everywhere and phones were all in use. Two people, a man in Army camo and an older man in a Navy uniform that had many pins and stripes on it, were following the President. They arrived at a locked door. All three of them held out small silver keys and pushed them inside of the keyholes. The keys turned in unison and the heavy blue door clicked open. The President quickly walked inside, and took a seat at a small metal table. He smoothed out his black suit as the other two men sat down across from him. The man in Army camo pulled a vanilla envelope out from under his arm. The envelope slid across the table and a few documents spilled out. Extreme tension filled the air. The President picked up one of the papers that said, TOP SECRET in large red letters across the top. His eyes skimmed over it, until he slammed the paper on the desk, and said,

"I'm not believing for a second that a fake world full of cartoon ponies exists." The man in Army camo said,

"Believe it or not, it's real. We need to take action before they attack us first. We've found a way of sending a mass amount of soldiers there using a matter converter. I think we should just send everything we have as soon as possible. The less they know of us, the better. I'm getting the whole army ready as we speak." The old man in the Navy uniform said,

"This feels like a Michael Bay movie."

Back to Dylan.

Luna politely stepped into the portal with Colby, and I had just shoved Lyra in. I guess I should start gathering my team back. I asked Chuck,

"Can you locate where Cortez is?"

"Yeah, yeah. Plug me into the long-range bioscanner." I did what he said, and he started compiling the data. I grabbed a small box with one button. A respawn button essentially. I slid it into my pocket. Chuck dinged, and said, "Dude, you are not going to believe this. The bitch is in the Assassin's Creed universe."

"You've got to be kidding me. Really? Well, then where is Bentley?"

"In the Super Smash Bros Brawl universe. Well, they're less of universes, more of independent galaxies and sometimes solor systems."

"Set the geometric perimeters to Cortez's location."

"It's set. Now, just unplug me-"

"No. Bringing you in a world that's in the Renaissance is a horrible idea. So, just stay there and do what A.I.s do when no ones looking."

"Fap. Got it." I rolled my eyes and stepped into the portal. The ride was only about thirty seconds or so. Maybe in another red shift galaxy. My body assembled, and I caught myself from tripping on the ground. The buildings look old and and the ground was jagged stone tiles. The place reeked of a pungent odor. Sweat with rotten onions, maybe. So, now to look for a man in a white robe that carries around two hundred pounds of weapons. Must likely walking behind street poles so mentally retarded guards can't find him, or jumping off ridicules hights to magically land into a random hay stack. Oh look, found him. He was running across rooftops, being chased by guards. And he just jumped into some small wooden thing on a roof that had curtains. The guards looked all around it, then walked off. I facepalmed at this. I ran up the building Ezio was on and climbed after the first jump. I pulled myself over the building and found him exiting the shack. He turned toward me, wait, he looked more... feminine I guess? His hood his his face in a shadow. Ezio turned and ran away. I held my hand out and yelled,

"Wait!" He didn't stop. I ran after Ezio. Wait, that can't be him. The body shape is too curvy, the weapons are different, and the person runs much more modernly. I stopped as I was a few feet from the person and asked, "Cortez, is that you?" The person stopped dead in their tracks and turned toward me. They pulled their hood down, revealing Cortez. She blinked and said,

"Dylan? Could that really be you? What happened?"

"Why did you run away?"

"You weren't wearing modern clothes, so I thought you were a thief."

"Okay, well, I could ask you the same question." We jumped down the roof, finding a shaded alley. I shared what happened to me, she shared what happened to her. I gotta admit, becomeing an assassin is pretty cool. Way better than my, 'I become a pony' story.

A few minutes had passed as we conversed, and I said,

"We should head back to Earth now. I need to find the others. Hold onto this device as I press the button." I held out the respawn device, but Cortez said,

"I am sorry. I can't leave just yet." I lowered the device and replied with,

"What!? Why!?"

"I promised Ezio I would assassinate a greedy tyrant king. I was just on recon. I know you don't make promises, but I do. And I honor them. Now, can you help me?" I sighed and mumbled,

"If I have to."

Chapter 21: An epic sword fight indeed

"Why can't we just run up and stab him?" I asked Cortez as I impatiently tapped my foot on a hidden balcony we were hiding in. She turned to me and said,

"No, do you want the whole Italian army on you?"

"I say we just run up and stab the bitch then respawn home. I works in the game."

"This isn't a game. Didn't you say the same thing about your world? About how there was alcohol and other things you wouldn't find on the show?"

"I guess you're right. So, does that mean the guards here have a brain?"

"Some. Most of the common red ones are complete idiots. The others are about as smart as the average human was in this time period."

"Noted. So then, what can you tell me about our target?"

"He's the king of a small but powerful hidden community to the west of England. His name is Mâché Villa. He's taken in and experimented on thousands of nobles and commoners. They all died. He never leaves his lair and is heavily guarded. Also a master swordsman. That's all I know for now. I think we should impersonate guards and-" I cut her off with,

"So, a twisted sociopath with extensive medical and scientific knowledge. And has a penchant for swords. I like him already. But I will kill him if we really need to. You should be glad I'm here. I'm a master tactician. Let's do this idiotic spy movie style. A man like him will never see it coming. He will just think it will be medical tools, and he'll want no one to see what's inside, so he'll just take the box in without anyone checking. Unlike your guard idea where someone as paranoid as him will most likely check every guard personally."

"I'm not sure if he's paranoid."

"I can tell he is from the fact that no one ever leaves. He's afraid someone might tell. And he doesn't kill them with every experiment, they live, barely. And I would be paranoid if I did stuff like that also."

"Good point. When should we strike?"

"During the day. I think he would expect a night attack, and I bet he's less awake considering what he does. The sun's almost set, we should gather a large crate, and start heading there. How far is it?"

"About two clicks." I nodded and we jumped down the balcony.

August 9, 6:16 P.M.

I hid in a large wooden crate with Cortez next to me. The box was placed right outside of the castle. It wasn't long until a somewhat athletic man came limping out of the castle. He looked about thirty, and had a large scar going over his right eye. Medical tools were in pockets on his shirt. This must be our guy.

In Twilight's library at the same time.

"I have to agree with Fluttershy on this. Neon could use help." Twilight said to her five friends that were all standing near her. It was a calm, yet somewhat deep conversation. Rainbow Dash said,

"I've been with him longer than all of you, and I think he's a cool guy. We shouldn't bother him with all this emotion crap." Rarity said,

"Yes you have dear, but something seemed to be hurting him and I can't stand it." Pinkie Pie said,

"I say party! Everyone loves parties!" Twilight replied with,

"The last party he went to involved you dragging him out of here. And he doesn't like ponies. Maybe we should drop a few hints and let him figure it out." Applejack said,

"Naw, dat will take too long. Maybe we should just straight up tell him an' and say we're trying ta help." Fluttershy whispered,

"I think we should show him-" Rarity cut her off with,

"We need to stop this immediately. I can't imagine how much pain he must be. He has a hard outer shell and won't show emotion easily." Fluttershy whispered again,

"A good way would be to-" Twilight cut her off saying,

"I know he must be in pain, but if we're too direct, it will just scare him off, and we won't get another chance." Fluttershy said much louder,

"GIRLS! Sorry for yelling but, I think we should each spend a day with him and see if we can make him feel better. One of us should be able to do something of we spend a bit of time." They all nodded in unison, except Pinkie Pie who was trying to stop an iris-in transition from happing.

"Nooooooo!" Pinkie yelled as it closed.

Also at the same time in the royal castle.

"No, I think this new system is a better idea." Luna said to Celestia as the stood near each other in the throne room. Colby was in pony form as he stood next to Luna. He was white skinned with a grey and yellow striped mane that fell loosely on his shoulders. Celestia said,

"Both of us ruling the land has been working forever and everypony likes it."

"Yes, that's true, but I like this demo-chasy idea." Colby cleared his throat and said,

"Democracy. And it's a complex system." Luna said,

"What sir Colby said. You know you're nothing without your people. And I'm willing to bet that most ponies will like my idea better. The system we use was used in the older times of Earth. Now a lot of them use the new system. Therefore if we want to keep moving forward, we need to adopt this new system." Celestia said,

"I've noticed your speech is modernizing quickly."

"Yes, the humans have a great education for English. I even learned a few new words such as, pwn, noob, fag, and just a slew of strange words that are just a delight to yell at people in video games."

"Well, back to the matter at hand. I'm not going to change. It's always worked, and it always will."

"If you won't change, then I will secede from your rule. It's a common thing on Earth." Colby said,

"Uhh, it's not that common and it's often followed by a long and bloody war that neither side wants to fight-" Celestia cut him off.

"I'm warning you. I will not allow this to happen." Luna said,

"Then don't. I'm willing to fight for the people."

"If I can't persuade you, then war it is." Luna walked out of the castle, dragging Colby with her. He couldn't help but think this was his fault.

Dylan's point of view.

Cortez and I were being dragged into the small castle via the box. The air's smell pierced my nostrils and the hallway was very dim with cobwebs coating every corner. I could hear faint, distant screams of terror and pain. I looked between the wood planks and saw the man attempting to open the box. I gave a signal to Cortez, she held a tiny smoke bomb between her fingers. As a wooden board came snapping off the crate, I said,

Play this music in the background.

"Now!" Cortez threw the bomb on the floor. A small firecracker sound was heard and thick black smoke engulfed all of us. Cortez swiftly rolled out of the box and repeatedly stabbed the man. The smoke cleared, and the man's shirt was torn and covered in holes, revealing chain mail. He pulled out a fancy golden sword and brought it over Cortez's head. I rushed forward, and kicked the sword away. The man jumped backwards, holding his sword in the ready position. I pulled out a sword Cortez had given me. Cortez did the same. We nodded at each other and charged the man.

Everything turned white as a loud clanking sound was heard. The man had two swords out, blocking both of us. I glided to the right and spun around. My sword swung at his back in one fluid motion. In the blink of an eye, he moved his sword behind him, blocking my attack. This guy's fast. He slammed his right foot onto my ankle and I reeled back, landing on my ass.

He took this chance to attack Cortez. They swung their swords rapidly. Sparks and clanking sounds flew everywhere as the weapons were a blur. They exchanged blow after blow, neither side showing any sides of slowing down. I jumped up and charged, the sword pointed straight at him. He rolled backwards, causing me to lose my balance. The man then sprung upwards, holding his sword over his head as he soared over me. I shifted my weight and juked over to the right. His sword hit the ground with a clank and he shot upwards at me. I was still out of balance, and I couldn't move my sword fast enough. Cortez appeared out of nowhere and blocked his attack.

Random intermission.

"Cutiemark Crusaders trampoline builders go!!!" The CMC yelled as they attempted to connect oddly shaped pieces of metal for their clubhouse.

Random intermission over.

Cortez jumped backwards and I stepped backwards to match her distance. She gave me a glare that I could tell meant we should charge him at the same time. I nodded back and we both shot forward in near perfect sync. Cortez swung her sword over him, I swung below him. He caught us both in a guard with his swords. I slid my sword of the end of his and it slashed his skin. He jumped backwards, clutching his right bicep. There was a deep gash seeping blood. He shrugged the pain off and charged at me in a blood fury. His eyes glared at me with pure hatred.

I held my ground and put my sword vertical across my chest. He yelled as he struck blow against blow on my sword. I heard a snap, and my sword broke off. New feeling returned to my feet as I slammed a fist into his solar plexus. He staggered backwards and breathed heavily. I glanced at my sword, it only had about three inches of steel left and a very jagged end. I said to Cortez,

"We need to end this now!" I threw my broken sword at the man and charged at him with my shoulder. He blocked my sword, but I slammed into his chest, knocking him backwards. Cortez took the chance and jumped over him, sword going right to his face. I grabbed his left hand and twisted it, grabbing his sword. I jumped backwards as Cortez's sword slashed him. They were locked in a sword swing. Cortez struggled as she was being pushed back. The man twisted his sword and swung Cortez's sword to the side. She was now defenseless and had a sword pointed straight at her.

Oh fuck this. I kicked a nearby lit candle stick at him, it connected and he burst into flames. He screamed as he thrashed all over the floor. Cortez stomped on his neck, ending his pain. His dead body slowly burned as we walked out. Once the somewhat fresh air and sun surrounded us, I said,

"Well, I guess that's it then. He's dead." Cortez held up one of the man's golden, shiny, engraved sword. It glistened in the sun as she twisted it. Cortez coldly said in her Spanish accent,

"I think I'll keep this. A nice memento to remind me I'm an assassin. Although, I think we should be heading back. I've missed having running water." I laughed and pulled the respawn device out of my pocket. Cortez nodded as she put her hand on the large red button. I put my hand over hers and pressed down. A click was heard and we were covered in a shower of white sparkles. The hot and rugged terrain turned into a mist of darkness and cool air.

I wiped a small head of sweat off of my forehead. That could have gone so much worse. At least it works. Cortez was still wearing her white assassin ropes as she plopped down onto a nearby couch. We were in my living room. Chuck said,

"Finally, you're back. I almost missed that beautiful, emotion-filled voice of yours." I picked him up and said,

"Stow the sarcasm. Anything new happen?"

"Well, there have been a few rumors about the government trying to invade-"

"I don't give a fuck about your governmental conspiracies. Unless you have proof, not evidence, don't tell me."

"Fine fine. Oh yeah, and I've been having cyber sex with that purple unicorn thing." My eyebrows raised at this.

"How?"

"I can send data back and forth like it was living cells over the portal thing I'm currently plugged into. And Twilight said that the laptop you made in Equestria was close to typewriters, and she picked it up quickly. Can you go talk to her? She won't shut the fuck up with questions, and I can't just disconnect a pretty lady like her."

"She's a pony."

"And I'm a phone. Species means nothing to me." Fair enough, I guess. It would be a quick trip, and after kicking that guy's ass I felt much better. I shrugged my shoulders, I guess it was the least I could for him. I recalibrated the MTSC to Canterlot. I walked in, and bam I was there. Twilight was tapping on the black keyboard as she read the green letters on screen. I walked up to her and said,

"Hey twilight, Chuck wants you to ask more questions." Wait, something's off. Something's... weird. For some reason, Twilight was much shorter, and smelled like a new book. Odd, I haven't noticed how she smells yet. She turned to me, and her eyes went wide. She then shook her head and asked,

"N-Neon? Is t-that you?" What does she mean 'is that you'? I looked down my body, then it mentally hit me. I was still human. What... the... fuck? I told Twilight,

"Yes, err, this what I normally look like. For some reason, I wasn't changed when I got here." Must be something wrong with the bioconverter. Probably null code cache. Just need to purge it, and it should be fine.

Back on Earth.

"That idiot fell for it!" Chuck said in a victory tone of voice. "I never thought he would just go right in, not noticing me fucking with the portal thing." Cortez said,

"What exactly did you mess up?"

"Just that thing thats transforms you. Don't worry, it's not really broken. It just wasn't on."

Back to Dylan.

"Okay then. So you can go between human and pony?" Twilight said. I replied with,

"Yes."

"What about other things?"

"No, it must have an already made life form to create the correct data."

"How far and what speed can you travel?"

"I'm not going to stand here all day and answer your questions. I have better things to do." I start to walk back to the portal, but Twilight captured in my a purple bubble of magic.

"Please! Just a few more!" I pushed the bubble, it now seemed to have a hard surface. It didn't move, and I reeled back my fist. I shot my fist forward, and the area around the impact shattered like glass. A shower of small sparkly pieces of glass came shooting out, then quickly dissolved into air. The rest of the bubble slowly lost form and melted into air like a gas. Strange, that didn't work last time I trapped. Well, to be fair, I was freaking out and a lot weaker in the new form. No, I think humans may have some kind anti-magic resistance. I used sheer willpower to not be stuck here, it might have something to do with that. Maybe it's how violent they are, or their sense of justice.

I don't nor care. It's not like there's going be some giant, cross solar system war or anything. I turned toward the portal, but I heard something loud, like something large and metal falling. The ground shook slightly. I dashed out of the building, to find something that I never thought would happen. There was propaganda. Everywhere. Every patch of grass, every spot on a wall, just everything that could have a poster on it, did. There were two different posters.

So it seems Celestia and Luna are having a political fight. This can't be good. Ponies were marching around, screaming rhymes and poems about their side is better. This could break out into war at any time. I could see badly hidden modified party canons at every corner. Actually, they may need war. If they don't vent the anger, it will be even bloodier later on. And I'm not the type who interferes in war.

Chapter 21: OBJECTION!

I'm sure if the ponies are even going to break out in war. Might be just a political battle, I doubt the ponies can fight. My mind flashed to the season two ending. Oh fuck. Well, I'm out. I jogged back into the portal and appeared in my living room. I heard a female newscaster talking on the T.V. I turned toward the voice watched. She said,

"There is intelligent alien life. But they appear to be threaten our very way of life. We won't all die, we will be slaves, tortured for the rest of our lives. They are planning an attack as we speak." I walked over to the remote and hit the off button. I hate watching this babble come out of man's fears. Complete BS. Cortez was still sitting on the couch. She snatched the remote away from me and said,

"Hey! I was watching that." She hit the on button. The newscaster said,

"The U.S. government is trying to get a world army together to combat the alien threat. So far, Russia and Germany have joined the U.S. for our safety." I threw my arms up in the air at this bullshit. "We should be launching the attack in two days. The aliens are right outside our galaxy and they appear to be cartoon horses. Our method of travel will be an advanced device that transfers matter and converts them at faster than the speed of light. The government is calling it the MTSC. They have been working on it for decades." My jaw went wide. Cortez couldn't believe it either. The only person who said something was Chuck, who said,

"Oh... Shit..."

"We need a say in how we live!" A crowd of Luna supports chanted at the divide in Canterlot. Luna emerged from behind a building and walked up to the line. She stopped once she was two feet from the line. Both sides did the same. They screamed curse words at each other. Celestia teleported right in front of Luna, and the crowd went quiet. Celestia said,

"I do not want to fight. I will give you one more chance to stop this crazy rebellion." Luna shook her head and said a simple,

"No." She then cleared her throat and said, "Ponies, this is our chance, our choice, our life. If we don't make a stand right now, our freedom, or very way of life will be gone and hopeless. We are all slaves to Celestia's will. We will fight. Down to the last sword, down to the last bullet, down the to last pony, WE WILL FIGHT!" The Luna side exploded in cheers. A cannon shot burst out from an unknown side, and they all swung swords and lit fuses. It looked like Luna had more ponies, but Celestia had better weapons. But, the ponies that were only accounted for about twenty percent of Equestria. Most ponies just wanted to get along.

A human in army camo appeared not far from the battle. He had an assault rifle and a handgun. His mission was to scout out the place. He held his gun to his chin as he expertly turned a corner. He could see the civil war going on. It was an explosion of fruity smells and a spew of bright colors. Two ponies, a unicorn and pegasus. Turned the corner and jumped on the scout. Normally, they have extreme xenophobia, but in this case, they were just too angry to care. The scout thrashed around and threw the ponies off. The bright yellow unicorn trapped the scout in a weak yellow bubble. The scout slammed the butt of his gun into it, and it smashed open. Smilier to the way Dylan broke the magic bubble. The scout then raised his assault rifle and let out a three round burst at the pegasus. It hit her twice in the wing, one in the foreleg. She cried out in pain as blood seeped out of the wound. The white pegasus slammed into the human, sending them both flying. They scrambled off the floor as the scout got a message from HQ. He put two fingers to his ear as he heard,

"We've seen enough. They need to all die. Return to base." The human nodded and pressed a button on his wrist. He became engulfed in white sparkles and he was teleported to the military base.

Back to Dylan.

"I can't fucking believe this," I said, "first, they steal my invention, second they attack a harmless race of cartoons!" Cortez asked,

"What do we do?" I slammed my fist on a nearby table.

"This is the last straw. This is my mistake, and I'm fixing it. First, we need to find Bentley and Jessica. Then, we need to reunite Celestia and Luna. Third, we need to kick the governments' ass. Tell me Cortez, if we all walk behind the blind, where do we draw the line?"

Jessica's point of view.

How the fuck I managed to get from a necromorph infested ship to a court, I have idea. It had something to do with that electrical field. It's not my fault the sign said to not lick it! It was just begging me too! But anyway, back to the matter at hand. I was in a courtroom, with some guy named, 'Judge', and another jerk named Miles edgewart, or something like that. I'm no lawyer, but I just had to help that poor guy. It was obvious that he didn't do it. I slammed my hands on the court table and yelled,

"OBJECTION! He was at the waterpark between three P.M. and four. And this clearly states that the murder happened about forty minutes from the where Kirk Wolk was." Edgewart shook his head and smiled as he shrugged. He said,

"As I said, your paper-thin theories are pointless. He could have added a delay to the poison. He is a chemist with extensive knowledge in biology, it wouldn't be hard for him to get the chemical and administrate it." I slammed my fist on the table and mentally yelled, 'DAMMIT!' This guy's good, no doubt about that. There just had to be something! I'm running out of evidence. I need to catch a break or else this will be all over.

To Dylan's point of view.

"What do you mean I can't?" I impatiently said to Chuck. He said,

"The Super Smash Bros universe Bentley is in is already a giant one filled with other universes. You need to go to one more universe before you are capable of processing it." I sarcastically said,

"Well, that's just perfect. *sigh* Where's Jessica then?"

“Well, she appears to be in a courtroom. And slamming her hands on tables.”

“I think I know where she is. Just set it there, and we’ll all go.” Cortex nodded and the MTSC revealed a courtroom. I unplugged Chuck and walked through the portal. Cortez followed behind. I heard some man say,

“I told you, your path of logic is worthless. This testimony proves it.” I turned toward the voice, it was Miles Edgeworth.

“Who are they!” The bald old guy with a grey beard said. He was sitting high up on the judge’s seat. Jessica was standing at the defense attorney table. I walked over to her saying,

“What happened? What’s going on?” She replied with,

“I got stuck with this murder case. Some weird guy with black spiky hair had to do something else, he told me to defend this guy. And with the current evidence, I don’t think he did it. I could use a hand.”

“No, let’s just leave. There’s a problem on Earth, and I need you.” She shook her head as she said,

“No, I can’t just leave this guy.” I looked toward the witness stand, a man with shiny yellow hair and an orange jumpsuit stood there nervously. I sighed, and said,

“If you must, I’ll save him. What do we have?” She spent a minute or so telling me about the case and evidence. Court resumed, and I took over for Jessica. Cortez leaned against a wall. The Judge said,

“Looks like we have another person defending. Now, let’s hurry up and finish this.” Miles pointed his finger at me and yelled,

“OBJECTION! This man isn’t a lawyer. You might as well call this closed.” I slammbed my hands on the table and yelled,

“HOLD IT! I think you’re just scared you might not lose. After all, if you’re going to win, why not just prove that Wolk is guilty.”

“Grr, you ignorant little brat. Fine, I’ll play along for now. I call Smark DeCik to the stand.” A young man with green hair and blue jeans with a purple sweatshirt walked up the the stand. “Name and occupation.” The new guy coughed and said,

“Call me Smark. I work as an electrical engineer.”

“Now, tell the court what happened on the night of Itel’s death.” The man nodded, this music started playing, and he said,

"Well, it was dark and foggy. I had left the tools shack after I finished wiring the last roller coaster. Mr. Wolk was there, just minding his own business. I was only out of the shack for about three minutes. Then I went back in to find my jacket, because I was freezing my 'stache off. What I found was Mr. Wolk covered in blood, pointing a bloody knife at some unknown stranger." I pressed his 'unknown stranger' statement,

"That's it? Just unknown stranger? You can't tell us anything about him?" Smark coughed and said,

"Well, it was dark. The only source of light was a dim lantern that just gave enough light to reveal Wolk and the bloody knife." The Judge shook his head and asked,

"Was that statement of any importance?" I replied,

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Alright then, witness, amend your testimony." I asked Smark about the light.

"It was just an old lantern. Nothing really special about it." I thought about my evidence, and found a contradation. I pointed my finger at him and yelled, (Stop playing that music, and play this now.)

"OBJECTION! Would the lantern happen to look like this?" I asked Smark and showed him a picture of it. He nodded and said,

"Yep that's it."

"Well then, you're wrong. This lantern is brand new, and very bright." Smark blanched and quickly said,

"B-but that could just be a copy!" I shook my head,

"No, not possible. This has the name of the roller coaster place on the bottom." Miles yelled,

"OBJECTION! The age of this lamp has nothing to do with-"

"HOLD IT! This lamp is very important! This lamp is new and bright enough to be able to light up the victim's face. Witness, why did you say it was dim and you couldn't see?" Smark regained his composure and said,

"It must have been behind a box, and the light must have gotten cut off at angle!" I wiggled my finger at him.

"There were no boxes. The crime scene photographs prove that."

"Bu-but I was sure there were boxes!" Miles yelled,

"HOLD IT!" There were boxes there! Squares of dust and dirt were left in the shack. They must have been moved after the crime happened." Hmm, after, eh? I'll hold onto that thought. (Stop the music)I said,

"Okay, why were the boxes moved then?"

"To dispose of evidence, most likely." So he had time to get rid of leads. I should remember that. I tapped my chin as I thought. I then asked the witness,

"How well do you know Wolk?"

"Just his name. He usually just does his job and goes home. Doesn't really talk to anyone." The doors slammed open, and the bailiff came running in, holding a box. He yelled,

"Mr. Edgeworth, sir! I found the decisive evidence that you needed!"

Chapter 24: Random intermissions ahoy!

I stepped through the portal not even remotely sure what I would find. Cortez stayed behind to try and find out anything new on the goverments' plan. Jessica just wanted to relax on a couch. She said her hand hurt from slamming it on the table so much. I hit solid ground, landing on some kind of flat metal. I looked around, I was in some futuristic city, flying on... The Great Fox? Even stranger, I couldn't move forward or back, just left, right, down, and up.

How strange. Now, where the fuck is Bentley? Out of nowhere, someone punched me in the back. I flew forward, even though that's impossible, it wasn't that hard of a hit. I rubbed the back of my neck and said,

"Ow! What was that for?! I'm not just going around punching everything that moves!" The person who hit me was Mario. He came running up to me again. I crossed my arms and held a defensive stance. A red bubble formed around me. Mario hit me, but I didn't feel anything. I said, "How do you like it!" As I swiped his legs. He went sent flying a few feet. Which made no sense.

Gravity does seem to be lower, I jump higher, and fly far when I get hit. Mario came running back, I noticed some kind of lightsaber spawned in front of me. I picked it up and threw it at Mario. He dodged and keep running at me. I backed up, attempting to fall out of reach.

Random intermission.

A loud pounding bass was heard. Octavi covered her ears as she sit at the kitchen table with Vinyl. Octavi screamed over the noise,

"We have dishwashers! You can turn down the wub wub!" Vinyl just sat there, all nonchalant. She then said loud enough for Octavi to hear,

"Yeah, but this gets bacteria off at a microscopic level! Plus, it plays music!"

"It's seven A.M.! Someponies are trying to sleep! I still detest when you have to make the ground shake when I'm attempting to sleep."

"Can't hear you over the wub wub!" Octavi slammed her face on the table as Vinyl bobbed her head in sync with the beats.

Random intermission over.

I beat Mario, throwing a bat at him. He went sent flying, quickly disappearing and being turned into a trophy. Then everything faded into something else, it looked like Green Hill Zone from the Sonic games.

To my left was Captain Falcon. The first to my right was Ness, and the last one? Bentley.

Yet another random intermission.

"WHY ARE YOU IN A SANDWICH?!" Bon Bon screamed at Lyra. They stood on a patch of grass, Lyra was lying inside of a giant hamburger, minus the meat. Lyra said,

"I've always just wondered how they felt. Come on, don't tell me you've never wondered."

Even I, the narrator, finds that strange. Anywhore, back to the story. Oh yeah, and play this music in the background.

After I looked at them again, they looked like they had two themes. Captain Falcon and Ness were both green clothed, and Bentley and I had a redder shade of clothes then we had on before. Must be a team battle.

""Bentley! About time your ass showed up." I told Bentley, as we stood on some strange cartoon stage. "Now, let's go home."

"Oh no, not until after this tourney."

"WHAT!? Come on! Let's just get home!" Bentley shook his head.

"No, I gotta win this. There's gotta be some awesome prize at the end!" I knew how competitive Bentley was, and it was clear I couldn't stray him from this path. Well, the faster I get him through this, the faster we can get out of here. Well, here we go again.

Wait, this is a game, or at least very close to the actual game that's based off of this. I wonder if my strategy will work here. I flashed a few hand signs to Bentley, who just scratched the back of his head. I asked,

"Don't you remember?" He said,

"Uh, I never really remember that complex military stuff." I faceplamed, and heard a male announcer start countering down. I quickly said to Bentley,

"Be aggressive, unpredictable, and use as many items as you can." He nodded, and I heard someone yell,

"FALCON KICK!" I jumped, dodging his fiery kick. I glanced over to Bentley. He was punching Ness in the groin. Well, didn't see that coming, I guess. Captain Falcon stood under me, charging up a upwards dash of kicks. Still not use to this strange new environment, his kicks connected and I was sent flying. I managed to stop myself from falling off screen and quickly floated downwards. I'm not good at fist fighting, I need to be clever.

Or better yet, cheat. Rarely, do I ever play by the rules. Captain Falcon came running back towards me. I rolled forward and put a leg in front of him. He tripped, and I kicked him in the back. I saw Bentley and Ness exchanging blows. Ness his Bentley with a bat, and Bentley got sent flying. He crashed into me and we tumbled a few feet.

"HEY! Watch where you're getting launched!" I yelled at Bentley. I heard Ness scream,

"PK THUNDER!" A small blue ball of electricity came out of him. Idea! I grabbed onto Captain Falcon and used the electrical properties of the ball that Ness shot at me. The ball hit me, but all the energy went to the end of the chain, or in this case, Captain Falcon. He grunted in shock as I let go. Then, being the cheating bastard I am, I dragged him to the edge of the screen and kicked him off. The crowd started to chant my name. Oh great, nothing like a crowd screaming for bloodlust. I searched around in my pockets, and found a small smooth orb.

Well, not sure what it is, but I didn't care. I threw the orb at Ness. It was a black and green mixture of color. The orb collided with Ness, and a small black hole appeared. Oh, how convenient. Ness floated around in the small sphere and then went flying upwards. He floated back down, then Bentley kick him upwards enough for him to hit the glass screen that separates us and the audience. Or the fourth wall. The round ended, and we floated upwards. Below us was a giant tourney chart. Only 3 battles more. The last being some 'surprise'. Just a grey question mark connecting the last battle. I don't have a good feeling about this. We quickly Teleported to the next stage.

Let's check up on the Equestrian civil war.

"Get them!" A yellow unicorn screamed at her squadron. A mixture of all races and colors charged across the Equestrian divide. The Equestrian divide is the name given to the line that separates The New Lunar Republic from The Solar Empire. It wasn't going good, blood painted the ground, deep black smoke engulfed the air, and the screams of pain and death pierced the ponies' souls.

Many have died, but there are still many left to fight. Celestia appeared to be winning. Both her and Luna fought in the battle. The sun hung high overhead. Luna had an idea, to retreat and attack at night.

But the problem was that her and Celestia were both trying to keep their control up. Luna couldn't keep the moon up because Celestia held the sun firm in the sky. It hadn't moved in hours, the real time should make it about sunset. But something happened. During the heat of the battle, three small older model human-made attack jets appears over the skies in Canterlot. The ponies didn't notice with all the screaming and fighting.

The shiny chrome jets each launched two missiles, thirty-two ponies were injured and six dead, most on Celestia's side. Luna saw this, and didn't want to risk it. She called out,

"Brethren! Retreat to the Lunar base!" They all did in one quick motion. Most of the unicorns teleported, and the pegasus flew away. All the others ran for their flanks. Celestia was the apparent winner. It wasn't long until the ponies ran in fear, the alien jets raining down bullet fire. There was something different about these jets though. The humans thought it would be safer to use remote control.

Back to Dylan.

"Oh, fuck you!" I yelled at Kirby. I then smashed my fist into the bag of pink. He, or she, or... whatever the fuck Kirby is, went flying outside of the screen. Kirby disappeared, leaving only Bentley, Ike, and me. I turned to Bentley, he was in an intense fight with Ike. Ike hit Bentley with his sword, Bentley flew towards me on this large zelda-themed stage. He then pulled out a grenade and charged at Ike. Before he got there, the screen turned a shade darker and a smash ball started flying around. Bentley yelled at me,

"Hold Ike, imma get dat ball!" He jumped and hit the ball a few times. I rushed over to Ike, grabbing onto him. Bentley threw a seemingly endless supply of grenades at the smash ball. Ike broke out of my grasp and went for the smash ball. I grabbed onto Ike's feet and swung him away. I yelled at Bentley,

"Hurry up! I can't hold him back forever!" I turned toward Bentley, a smash was heard. Then a colorful aura surrounded him. Seconds later, he started flying around, rapidly spewing grenades with cutiemarks on them. Ike dodged most of them, but got hit with a grenade with Rarity's cutiemark on it. The ground exploded in multiple colored jagged gems and minerals. Ike got sent flying to the right. He turned into a trophy, and the match ended.

The next round will be against Wolf and Sonic. The same transition happened, we appeared on a small iceberg that slid down a mountain. Wolf and Sonic appeared next to me and Bentley showed up on the edge. The countdown finished, and I dashed over to Wolf. My foot went to his chest, but he blocked and swung a claw at me. I got hit and then I ran back up to him and did an uppercut. He staggered backwards and I racked up a string of combos.

He got attacked relentlessly by a flurry of kicks and punches. He was dazed, and I took the chance. I reeled back my fist, seeing a white slashing sparkle on it that meant I was charging it up. Before I could hit him, Bentley came out of nowhere and performed a flying kick that sent Wolf flying. Bentley also fell off screen, but he air-jumped his way back. I yelled,

"That was my kill, Bentley!" He simply shrugged and Sonic came from behind me and attacked me. I got launched off-stage, but managed to save myself just enough to grab the ledge on the stage. Over it I could see Bentley and Sonic exchanging blows. I scrambled to get up, and Bentley got hit and flew toward me. I jumped up, over the ledge, grabbed onto Bentley, spun him around a few times, then let go, causing him to act like a human missile.

Sonic dodged, then smacked Bentley off-stage. He disappeared, and that just left me. Well, fuck. I thought that would've turned out better. Sonic crawled up into a ball and launched himself at me. I jumped, Sonic did also and hit me. He's much faster than me, I can't win the fairly. I remember that I stood on ice, the ground was slippery. I stood still as Sonic dashed back for another round. I just need to time this right. Time slowed down as I calmed my breathing.

The Blue Blur really did look like a blur as it spun rapidly at me. I readied my feet for a jump. My head had already planned it out. Time resumed to normal, I crouched, appearing ready to jump, Sonic jumped in an attempt to counter me, I dived forward, then for my final move, my feet slammed into his back as soon as he had jumped over me.

Sonic got launched to the right, and quickly turned into a trophy. I had won. I scrambled back up, taking note how I'm not even scratched. Not a single physical injury, physics must be isolated per world. The stage faded out to The Final Destination. Bentley flew, err, fell from the sky.

Chapter 25: And the team is back together!

A petite, pale skinned girl, about nineteen, stumbled out of the portal. She had well-trimmed long purple with a pink strip going through it. She wore long, purple yoga pants that had a pink stripe going through it and a tank-top with various shades of purple. She held her new hand to her head as her mind raced, trying to figure out what all of this is. The last thing she could remember was that she needed to find Neon because Equestria was attacked by alien-like things. Jessica saw the flash of light, and opened one of her eyes. Jessica laid on a black leather couch, resting. Her hands were behind he head, her legs crossed, and one of her feet swinging. She said,

"Yellow? Anyone there?" She pushed herself upwards, taking note of the girl that had just appeared. Jessica rushed over to Twilight, and slowly carried her over to a couch. Twilight mumbled, getting used to her new body. She eventually said,

"Help... need... Neon." Then she passed out, landing on the couch. Her medium-sized chest slowly bobbed up and down, in an almost hypnotic movement. Jessica had no clue what to do. But, becuase of her laziness, she slipped into another nearby couch, and took another nap. After all, Twilight was just sleeping, and she most likley needed it.

To Dylan and Bentley.

I stood there, breathing heavily, in extreme pain. Bentley wasn't off any better. But at least Master Hand exploded and is now laying in a burning pile of glove. I expected the tourney to be over, but of course it wouldn't be that easy. Crazy Hand appeared from behind me, slamming into me. Even with that basic attack, I got launched. My hand just barely made the ledge, with my muscles screaming in pain after being hit so much. I crawled over the edge, to be met with Crazy Hand talking on a cell phone. He made incomprehensible snorts and grunts, then flew upwards, never to be seen again. Must have had somewhere else to be, how convenient. Well, what's going to happen next? I've 'beaten' both bosses. Two of those hearts floated down, one for me and the other Bentley. I trudged over to it and touched it. Bentley did the same, and we both felt rejuvenated. My arms felt energetic again, my legs ready to move, and my brain ready to think. Then a blue humanoid exploded into view. I rolled away, Bentley wasn't so luck. He got hit with a blue fist. He then fell right next to me. The boss, I could recognize. It was Tabuu. This won't be easy.

At Canterlot.

*bang bang bang* Gunshots went off as the ponies battles the endless stream of attack jets coming out from all directions. Dead ponies covered the ground and everything is coated in blood. Celestia saw that they weren't going to win, so she formed a protective bubble around the few remaining ponies left. But this didn't work, the jet's bullets penetrate the bubble like it was paper. Celestia was worn out and tired from fighting, she couldn't last any longer. In a last ditch effort, she abandoned Canterlot and mass teleported all the remaining ponies to Manehatten. Many were injured, the few ones who were strong enough to fight helped out in carrying the injured ones to hospitals. One pegasus, with a bandages left wing, asked Celestia,

"What do we do now?" Celestia lowered and head and said with a hint of dread,

"I'm not sure."

To Dylan.

I readied myself, bouncing lightly on my feet. This will not be easy. I need to find out his patterns, his weaknesses, and his strengths. I held my stance, waiting for him to make the first move. Bentley attacked first, jumping up and kicking him. Tabuu teleported somewhere else on the screen, then he launched an energy chain at Bentley. Bentley managed to shift his weight just enough to dodge it. Tabuu must depend upon players being reckless and uncontrolled. I told Bentley,

"Forget the last plan, think and use controlled movements."

"Noted." Was all he said. Tabuu  charged up a beam in his hands, and made an attempt to blast me. The beam shot out in a blue sparkly manner, I dodged at the last second. But the beam was continues, it continued to shoot out and was now following me. I ran the other way, Bentley jumped up and kicked Tabuu while he was distracted. Tabuu flinched, then sent a burst of energy out. I blocked, Bentley was still in the air. He got hit, and slammed into the ground. A small white and black device came out of his pocket. It looked like... a portal gun!? How did that fit in his pocket!? And more importantly, why does he have it!? Bentley looked at the device, then he grabbed it and started shooting portals at Tabuu. That idiot, it doesn't work like that! I told Bentley,

"Give me that!" I snatched the device out of his hand. The plastic felt cold and smooth as I put my hand into it. Tabuu wasn't patient, and dived at me with something sharp in his hands. I popped a portal on the other side of the stage, then shot another next to me. I grabbed Bentley and dragged us both into the portal all before Tabuu hit us. I could use this. Tabuu shot out another blue beam like before, only this time I had an idea. Based on the angle that Tabuu shot the beam at, and the angle that I could alter it with redirecting via portals... that should work. I ironed out the math, and got ready. I had a very small window of opportunity. The beam came at just the right distance, I put two portals down on both sides of the stage. The beam went into the blue one, and came out the orange one, hitting Tabuu in the back. He did a sharp, digital cry. I smirked and said,

"Yeah! How do you like it!" This will be so much easier.

Yet another, *sigh* random intermission. Note: none of these are even remotely cannon. Well, some are. Meh, let's just say this happened a long time ago.

"Come on, Twilight! I can stay home alone for just a few minutes! Please let me stay! I don't want to visit the doctor. He's creepy! His keeps eyeing me like I'm some kind of sandwich!" Spike complained to Twilight as she stood there in her home. She held up a calendar via her magic. The calendar had a box that was circled in red marker. On that box said 'Visit doctor today. Need to check horn.' Twilight rolled her eyes and said,

"Fine, I'll just hire a rent-a-mom." Spike screamed,

"NOOOOOO! Last time you did, I had to do so much homework my fingers had blisters! And don't even get me started about how much she nagged me about not being a doctor!"

At least you have some sort of motherly figure. Maybe I should send a rent-a-mom to Dylan... no wait, he'll fire me. Uh, let's just get back to the story. I don't get paid enough to do this...

"And... NOW!" I yelled at Bentley. We started a synchronized combo, each of us attacking Tabuu. I shot out portals where Bentley needed them, and we did many things at the same time. After a flurry of hits, each one of the Tabuu couldn't dodge because if he dodged one of us, the other would attack. Then, Bentley and I went through an endless portal loop, I put a portal on a wall just above Tabuu on a wall that isn't seen on screen in the game. We went through it at near-sound breaking speeds. Bentley yelled as we flew through the air,

"In layman's terms, speedy things go in," we both did a flying kick on Tabuu, catching him in a surprise attack. He started exploding as we landed on the ground, like a boss. "Speedy things come out." Tabuu quickly disappeared in a rapid chain of explosions. As the wind calmed down, and the crowd cheered, a trophy floated down.

"Not bad." Bentley said. I said,

"Okay, you won the damn tourney, can we go home now?"

"Yeah yeah." I held out the the respawn device, we both put our hands on it, then I slammed down the button. We both teleported back to my living room, to be met with two people sleeping on couches, Jesscia and... I'm not really sure who that is. Wait, the hair, the clothes... T-Twilight?! How did she get the clothes, I wasn't gone long enough for her to get those. I wonder if... I looked on the screen for the MTSC, ran a few tests, and apparently when someone as powerful as Luna went through it, it caused a disruption in the primary power couplings. The ponies now had clothes that matched their personality when they came to Earth. Why didn't I think of that? I went over to the side of the couch, then pushed the back upwards. Twilight rolled off, onto the floor. She awoke in a shock and scrambled to get up. The last thing I wanted was to see another pony turn human. I glared at her as I said,

"Leave this planet. Now." I didn't care why she was here or how she got here, I just want her gone. Twilight said in a calm manner,

"Wait, please listen. Right now Equestria is being split into two, and there's some alien race attacking us with these shiny flying silver things. I, no, all of Equestria, needs you. Please please, help us!" It's not like the ponies have done anything wrong, certainly less than humans have. But still they're ponies, not humans. I have nothing to gain from saving them. No, now I'm just being plain cold. I really could use some humanity, dispite the fact that my emotions never show, and rarely do I ever fell them. Conflict is a fundamental part of human nature, but so is compassion. So is love, hope, hate, anger, sadness, laughter, and countless other things that we all need. Including me. No matter how much I want to deny it, I'm human. And that will never chance. I guess I could at least make an attempt at being nicer. I leaned against a wall, my eyes closed and my brain deep in thought. Everything in the outside world didn't matter to me at that moment. I lost track of my goal, it was suppose to be gather my team, then save Equestria. I must have forgotten about that somewhere while saving my team first. I can't let this go on any longer, I must stop-

"Hello, you still there?" Twilight said, cutting off my thoughts, as she opened my right eyelid.

"I'll help you, and don't interrupt my thoughts. Hey, how are you so used to your body?"

"I've been studying Homo Sapiens ever since I've heard of your kind. The closest thing I could find was a chimpanzee, I know that you're closely related becuase a famous scientist named Chocolate Darwin said that there's eveolution and those species are-"

"Yes yes, I know all about evolution. Now take a breath, you don't need to explain things to me."

"Yes but, still, this feels so strange being like this, being able to flex my fingers. The reproductive cycle was especially interesting. Is it true that there is a large social impact on breeding and that there's no time where females go insane in an attempt to find a mate every year?"

"Uh, I'm not one to study social interactions, but yes, sex is often a lot more than just making a child. And women don't go crazy in finding a male during heat, wait, why am I answering these questions? Whatever, Twilight, you're smart, hold onto that. But right now, there is a world full of ponies that need me. And I'm not abandoning them. I never leave my friends." I felt a small fire burning in my chest. Not an actual fire, but metaphorical. Like some kind of burning passion, a new kind of energy. American spirt maybe? I don't know. I called out,

"Team, assemble!" Cortez came running down stairs, Bentley walked up to me and Jessica rubbed her eyes and stood up. "We all have a mission. A mission to save a race of talking equines. Now, we might not even survive this, we are facing our race. They have better tech, better military tactics, and are much smarter. But you know what they don't have? Spirit, hope, a reason for fighting. We do. I will risk my life to save an entire race from genocide, and I bet all of you are too. I will not just standby and watch the governments of the world forcefuly slaughter ponies. This is for the ponies, for their planet, for their lives, for their happiness, and most importantly, for their right to the pursuit of happiness. When you all became Americans, you all agreed that every living, breathing thing has certain unalienable rights. Well, the humans are taking them away. And it won't even be a challenge, humans have nuclear warheads, ponies have party cannons. This won't be easy. I don't plan for it to be. But I will still try, I will still fight, against all reason, I will protect. It is our duty as humans to do what's right, no matter who's against you, no matter who tries to stop you. It says it in the constitution! We have the power to stop this unjust action, and we will. Now, who's with me?" My team all appeared to be fired up and ready to take on the world. Which they may just have to.

Canterlot.

*Whoosh* Jets flew overhead a now abandoned Canterlot. Tanks have now appeared, with actual humans in them.  The tanks were a newer design, they had auto-targeting and were heavily computer controlled. The city was quiet except for the rumble of the tanks and the screeching of the jets. Dead ponies lay around. Canterlot was untouched in terms of destroyed buildings. A few humans in advanced body armor were searching the town, assault weapons at the ready.

Chapter 26: Star Wars reference incoming!

August 10--very early morning

"Redfox here, checking in with 1337 hax0r nerd. Do you copy?" Bentley said into his mic, talking to me. I growled at him,

"I fucking hate you. We don't need codenames, and I never agreed to be called that. Now, just set the alarm triggers up." I sat at my computer, having four monitors on. One showed a video camera on Bentley, another a video camera on Cortez, and the last being Jessica. The fourth monitor had various black and green terminals with code flashing down it. Twilight was still here, organizing my books, that she had already read. Yes, I had real paper books. More for comfort then actual stories. To remind me that I'm still alive, that not everything is the logical and emotionless digital world. Order was never something I cared about, but Twilight has gone through about three systems now. First, it was by author name, then story title, then the Dewey decimal system. She was still placing them on a small wooden bookshelf that held a few other knickknacks. I usually just think of it as wasted space, but I have plenty of space, and it gives it a more lively touch to my room, even though I probably haven't touched the light switch in years, and the blinds are always closed. I shook my head, returning to the mission. Cortez crawled through air ducts, following a path I set for her that would bring her right to the central intelligence room. It wouldn't be that big of a risk, with all of our skills, and my ingenious planning. I checked up on Jessica, who was rewiring motion detectors and cameras to give me a bigger video feed. Everything was going according to plan. Which means, according to all other missions, that there should be an unexpected problem, in about... now. I my eyes scanned all network signals and cameras, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I told my team,

"Hold on, there should be something wrong right about now. The building appears to be empty, but still, keep a lookout for anything that moves." I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I slowly swiveled my chair to the left. Twilight stood next to me, and asked,

"Why is it that your species has advanced so quickly?"

"We don't have magic. We're a species based upon science and technology, and a very long history. Now, I'd love to talk more with you, but I'm slightly busy. Here," I said as I handed her a nearby kindle, "take this, and read a few books." She slowly took the device from my hands, looking at it in extreme confusion. She asked,

"How do I read this?"

"You're smart, figure it out." I turned back to my computer." It was way past midnight, and I haven't slept yet, but I rarely sleep as it is, being proven by my pale skin. Man, did my life change since I went to Equestria. I almost wonder, what if I never got chosen by Luna? What if I decided not to leave Ponyville? Questions, pointless questions, I didn't care. Cortez dropped down a vent, right into an abandoned secret room with a large mainframe stuck into the wall. Oh god, a mainframe. Those are so fucking old, I mean, seriously, who the fuck still uses a fucking mainframe? Okay, I should stop ranting now. Cortez said,

"I'm in." I said,

"Cool story, bro. This isn't a movie, you don't need to go all James Bond on us. Just open the network communications." She pressed a few buttons, and I received a signal from the device. My hands flew across my pulsing blue keyboard as I stole data from the machine. Bentley radioed in,

"This has got to be the most boring mission ever. A haven't heard a single gunshot, there's no nuke going off, I mean, come on! Can something at least happen!" Just then, I saw a rather large group of heavily armed shock troopers stormed into the building. I said back to Bentley,

"You just had to open that mouth of yours, didn't you? Well, there is now a group of about thirty tangos, all with full body armor and shotguns, and they look like they're going for you. Now, I have the data, get your asses out of there." They all nodded, and they quickly charged out through the hallways. Bentley caught up and joined Cortez in running down the halls, away from the troopers. Jessica soon joined them, but another group of shock troopers appear on the other side of the building. The dark halls blurred as they ran. Think, think, think! Got it! I quickly pressed a few buttons and  intercepted their communications. I waited for the person giving orders to say a few things, then made those recorded voice samples into a voice modifier so I sounded like him. Then I cut him off, and told the squad,

"Stop, the intruders have left via the north wall." One of them said,

"Roger, moving to north side." Both groups raced around to the north wall, making it easy for my team to escape with the data. They quickly found themselves outside in the thundering rain. Jessica flipped a black trap over, revealing a small stealth car. A bolt of lighting lashed out in the rain, illuminating them for a split second. They all piled in the car quickly, and Jessica drove off. Most likely at three hundred and twenty seven percent of the speed limit. The base they were at was a temporary intelligence base. The state government used it sometimes when their main base was deemed too unsafe. It was only about a thirty minute drive from my house to it, at the rate Jessica was driving at, anyway. They appeared to have nobody following them. I wonder what exactly is in the data I stole, it had something to do with the Equestria invasion. I heard a loud crashing sound behind me, my chair swiveled around. Twilight stood there, a look of rage in her eyes, and a now-destroyed kindle laid in ruins on the floor. I asked,

"What the hell! Those things aren't cheap, ya know?" Okay, to be fair, I didn't pay for it, nor the books. I just hijacked shipping addresses and stole source code. Twilight said, in an angry tone of voice,

"Curse these new books, they won't show me words!"

"Go lay down or something, you could use rest."

"But there is so much studying to be done! I can't just sleep!" It appears she has insomnia out of pure curiosity. Almost like me, I guess. I picked up an Ipad, brought up the web browser app, then turned it to a website that says what the future of science will be.

"Take this, don't break it, just read it, then use your finger on the picture to make it move." She snatched it out of my hands, her eyes getting lost on the device. I turned back to my computer, everything was good. They should get here in about twenty or so minutes. I guess I have some time to kill. I turned to Twilight, who was lying quite comfortably on my bed. The yoga pants she wore matched her long hair nicely, and her tank-top looked like something she would wear. She was fairly petite and skinny, probably even weaker than me. I have to wonder, what if I fell in love with Twilight instead? I like her determination to learn, it matches mine. The only real difference between us, would be my emotional shell and lack of social skills. Or not, I remember that she used to be a shut-in, not wanting to have friends or go outside. Meh, I'm not sure that dating myself in rule 63 would work out. I shook my head, catching myself staring at Twilight. She was trapped in the tech she was reading about. I put my hand on the Ipad and lowered it, then asked,

"So, Twilight, what did you think of me when we first met?" She looked up at me, her purple eyes shining in the darkness.

"Oh, you seemed normal. Except when you freaked out. Then you went all pissed off and attacked me. That was fun."

"Right, I would say I'm sorry, but you did hold me captive and forced a towel into my mouth."l

"Celestia's orders. And you were panicking, I was trying to keep you from hurting yourself and other ponies."

"So then what about the next time I saw you, you just acted like nothing happened."

"To be honest, I was planing on going out and catching you by force then dragging you back to my house to be tied to a wall. But, Fluttershy was with you, and because you managed to get Fluttershy as I friend so quickly, I thought you were actually a nice and decent pony." She placed the Ipad next to her on the bed, paying complete attention to our conversation.

"And what about when Pinkie Pie dragged me to that party? You were there, and you didn't stop her."

"Why should I? There's no law against that, and Pinkie wanted to do that. Plus, it was fun watching you get all red, freakin out to get out of the ropes." No law? I guess I really didn't have rights.

"Then what about when I came back after the party?"

"You were, dazed, I guess. Pretty funny watching you wobble and mix up words." Strange, I don't remember it being like that. Thinking back on it, it was slightly blurred.

"What about when I started to build that machine?"

"I found that, it looked alien. I decided not to to touch it, mostly because you rarely left that room."

"I've noticed that you've adapted quickly to this world. Already able to use tech, though simple, it require fingers. Do you still have a cutiemark?" Her eyes widened slightly, like she just remembered something. She then pulled down her elastic pants down low enough to look at the side of her slender pelvis. I saw a quick glimpse, and noticed her cutiemark was still there. She nodded to my question.

"Yeah, still there."

"Is there evolution on your planet?"

"No, everything's just been there. Nothing's ever changed, the current and most accepted theory is that a large explosion of magic formed Equestria, and spawned us. We call it The Big Sparkle theory."

"You're a good friend, we should spend a few study sessions together."

"I'd like that, you're a very smart pony." Wait, only very smart? And in that tone of voice? I think she's challenging me.

"Despite how bad my social skills are, even I could have picked up on that. Let's see who's better." Over the next ten minutes, Twilight and I exchanged mental blows via logical questions and paradoxes. It was fun to mentally spar with her.

The started to rise over the horizon when my team returned. I was still talking to Twilight,

"This statement is false." Twilight said,

"If you change it to, 'This statement isn't true', then it means the same thing, but it's now neutral instead of answerless."

"Not bad, not bad. Your turn."

"Does a set of all sets contain itself?"

"Yes, it would be an infinite loop of sets." I heard Cortez enter my room. I turned to her, she had had flash drive in her hand. She tossed it to me, I stumbled and flailed my arms around, and I managed to catch it. I stuck it into my computer, watching the documents appear on screen. My moniter flooded with words and command terminals, telling me many things about the Equestrian invasion. I turned back to Cortez and Twilight, and told them,

"You two can leave, it will take some time for me to decode these and form a plan." Twilight picked up the Ipad and started reading it again as she said,

"I'm good, I'll stay." Cortez just left without saying another word. I said,

"Okay then." I swiveled back to my monitors, clicking through a few documents. It appears to be a single-word encryption, common on military documents. Lemme just run a decoding program. It doesn't actually decode them, it just creates new data that matches the real document closely by using logic. So it won't be one hundred percent accurate, but it will be much faster and pretty close. I started running the program on all the documents, then I looked over the maps there. These weren't even encoded. It appears to be a map of... Canterlot!? What! How did they do that so quickly? They must be working quickly, but I'm faster. The map showed where they would strike, with what, and when. Along with a few notes and comments about backup plans and variations on standard military procedure. And based on the type of encryption, I would say that they wanted nobody outside the military to see this. These plans are incredibly under thought out, and generic. They really wanted to minimize plans, and focus on attack. I leaned back into my chair, putting my left index finger on my forehead. Think, think, think, there has to be some plan. Twilight tapped on my shoulder and said,

"I've been wondering, why attack us? What does the human race have to gain from doing this? And why now? When the princesses are at war?" Wait... princesses... THAT'S IT! I quickly exclaimed,

"Thanks for the idea." I then races my fingers across my keyboard, viewing dozens of maps and plans. I had forgotten, Equestria is at war. They both have an army, both sides have training, both sides have weapons. If I could unite them, it just might able to push the humans back. I turned left, to the other part of my corner desk, and presses a black button on it. A hologram came up, revealing a 3D model of Canterlot. I went back to my regular monitors, and dragged over battle tactics and troop numbers to the hologram with my mouse. Then I abandoned my mouse, and started pushing my finger around the hologram. It reacted like it should, I dragged and moved troops to where they would attack. It worked like the holograms in the Ironman movies. How convenient that I installed this a short while ago. I cross-referenced possible attacks, and ran a few simulators. Without my help, the ponies had one hundred percent chance of extinction every with every plan. Even then with my help, the current hances are only about three percent. There's no way I'm risking that, how can I win this? Think... think... when in doubt, ask someone else. I turned to Twilight, who was staring at the hologram I was messing with, completely amazed by it. I asked,

"Are there any other races that are intelligent in Equestria?"

"There are dragons and griffins and sea monsters and-"

"Which one would help ponies from getting killed?"

"None." Then I guess I'll have to convince them to help the ponies for other reasons. Which will take more time. Time I don't have. I closed the maps with a swipe of my hands, and brought up profiles of griffins. They're deadly, fierce, and always ready for a fight. Their personality is unknown, for the most part. I looked at the history, and found something that could be useful. Apparently, griffins and ponies once teamed up, to fight off the first Nightmare Moon. So, they will help if their home is being taken, I could use that. I added the griffin army to the simulator, and the chances of winning grew to twenty percent. I'm not risking that. I checked into dragons, all I would have to do is give them gems. Shouldn't be too hard. I threw them into the simulators, and the death toll rose to near genocidal numbers. But the chance of winning turned into fifty percent. I sighed, it was the best I could do. There were no other races that would join them, that's all I had. Actually, you know what? Fuck that. Never tell me the odds, I've been through worse. I closed all windows, then I brought up a list. Here's what I wrote:

1. Reunite Celestia and Luna.

Get them agree that they need to fight the humans

Convince griffins to join.

Convince dragons to join.

Have a war.

Get laid from Vinyl as a victory reward.

????

Profit.

Finish this list.

Delete this list, in hopes of forgetting this whole thing ever happened.

I told Twilight,

"Let's save Equestria and kick some ass, the human kind."

Chapter 27: The griffins

August 10--The sun has just peeked over the horizon.

I pressed a few buttons on the MTSC. It should now send me to Manehatten, which is both were The Lunar Base is, and Celestia'a army. All it took was a quick sonar pulse to find it. I bet the human's know where they are. They're probably trashing Canterlot right now, soon to leave and finish off the ponies in Manehatten. Bentley was mumbling and growling that he couldn't go with me. I need to do this solo, the rest of my team weren't coming either. I had Chuck in my pocket, and Twilight leaned against a wall as she read 'Ender's Game'. I waved good-bye, and stepped through the portal. The same transition happened, something that you just can't get use to. As Manehatten took shape around me, I could see dozens of injured ponies walking around, all had The Sun Empire logo wrapped on their right foreleg. Celestia was sitting in a mobile throne, conversing with her strategists. They were in a small tent, a table with a map of Canterlot in the central. I saw this, and walked near the tent. A white unicorn royal guard and a blue earth royal guard crossed their spears as I went toward the tent. They blocked my way. No one Stops me. I said,

"I need to speak with Celestia." They said in unison,

"Halt, nopony shall enter."

"I'm trying to save your sorry flanks, and you won't let me." The unicorn said,

"Celestia has given us strict orders to not let anypony in."

"Well, if you're going to play like that", I took a fighting stance, legs tensing up, ready for action. "Then I will get in there, wether you both let me, or die trying to stop me." They lowered their spears, the snapped them toward me, I jumped forward, kicked a spear out of the unicorns hands, then grabbed the pegasus's spear. I pushed off of the unicorn's armour, and landed a few feet away, with them defenseless and a spear in my hoof. They didn't back down, they both ran at me. I ducked, the pegasus flew over me, but the unicorn struck me in the jaw with a fist. I reeled back, getting hit by the pegasus as be crashes into me from behind. I hears a loud voice yell,

"STOP!" A white, warm aura held me in place, with the other guards. Celestia went through the tent flap, appearing angry. "Human," she said with a harsh tone of voice, "what are you doing here? Why are you attacking us?" I said,

"I'm not, these asshat guards of yours wouldn't let me through. I need to talk to you." She pondered this for a second, then released me, making me fall onto the ground. Celestia said,

"Very well, come in. And don't try anything." She disappeared into the tent. I quickly trotted through the tent flaps. What met my eyes, were about three of the pony scientists from before, and two new ponies. Their clothes lead me to believe that one controlled the skies, the other the ground. A large, brown paper map was resting on top a wooden table in the center. The map was covered in lines and notes. The two ponies acknowledged me with a nod as I stepped up to the table. I said,

"You need to drop this pointless squabble. The real threat is the reapers-" Oops, been playing too much Mass Effect, "I mean the humans." Celestia said,

"You are human. Why would you help us?"

"I may be human, but it's not by choice. I never was given a chance to choose what creature I would be. And There are many, many, different sides when it comes to humans. Everyone thinks they're right. We're all different, each one of us unique. The ones with weapons, are part of the humans that wan't you gone. Most of my race wants you to stay alive. A few even worship you. And I'm the protector of Earth. If it weren't for me, the human race would have destroyed it's self a thousand times over. And right now, I'm trying to stop them from killing all of you. Don't judge me because I'm human, on my world, we call that prejudice. That has killed so many of us. I could just leave, and have my advanced race kill all of you. But you know what? I'm not letting them. The humans can't just take what they want. My race is one built on conflict, hate, science and technology. Your race is built off of friendship and magic. Your magic can't stop a bullet. Who do you think will win this? You're outgunned, outmanned, outsmarted, and there's no moral at all. Look around you! Does anyone here look like they're going to win! No! You have two choices: extinction or freedom with my help. What will it be?" Celestia didnt say anything for almost a minute as an air of awkwardness surrounded us. Celestia swallowed her pride, and said,

"I, the royal princess, declare that Equestria requests your assistance in this war." Finally. Now to get Luna. I left the tent, hearing soft whispers of the ponies in the tent. I pulled Chuck out of my pocket with my magic. I told him,

"Bring up a map of Manehatten. And locate The Lunar base while you're at it."

"Why, lose your dildo?" Chuck said as a map came up on the screen. I followed the path set on the screen, and found myself at a large, luxury hotel. It didn't have a name anywhere on it. I pushed open the doors, to see the lobby empty. It was a generic, clean lobby you would see in a hotel. I walked in, not feeling that chilly air rush past you. They must not have ACs in Equestria. I could hear faint splashing sounds from a nearby door that had the word pool above it. Chinese water torture maybe? I went through the door, to find Luna and a few soldiers playing in a pool. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. I stormed across the wet tile. As I pounded my feet as I ran right next to the pool, but my right foreleg slipped, causing the feeling of falling to go straight to my crotch. I crashed into the water, leaving a large red mark on half on me, and a pain shot through me. I screamed,

"OWWWW! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" As I splashed above the water. Luna jumped over me, playfully landing on top of me. She said in a joyous tone of voice,

"Sir Blaze! How nice to see you and your oddly red side of your skin!" I was pissed. I came here with intentions of saving Equestria. Instead, I get Luna and her army splashing around in a pool as humans slaughter dozens of innocent ponies. This is no time for childish games! Rage fueled my veins as my head grew hot. I screamed out, my yells piercing Luna's ears. A glowing light green surrounded me, then quickly expanded, pushing the water away. The green orb encased the whole pool, sending all the water out. I stood at the bottom of the pool, dripping with water and breathing heavily. All the ponies stood at the bottom of the pool, staring at me. The water slowly started to pour back into the pool from the room. Luna had wide eyes as she looked at me. My hair fell down my face, hiding my eyes. It stuck to my face as I breathed in repeated rhythm. I glowed with a green aura that slowly started to dissipate as my anger subsided. I pushes my hair out of my face as I growled at Luna,

"Equestria is at war. Ponies are getting killed. AND YOU'RE SPLASHING AROUND IN A POOL LIKE A CHILD!" Luna lowered her head slightly, showing signs of guilt and sadness. I calmed down, and said, "This is no times for games. I need you to help me and Celestia to fight off the human threat." Luna walked over to me, and put a hoof on my shoulder. She said,

"Lo Neon, I accept your invitation to the fight. I never wanted to fight my sister anyway. I just liked the idea of being like the humans. Their sense of justice is a great one!"

"I guess... some humans are are righteous. Though sometimes misguided, our hearts are often in the right place with a lot of morals and ethics. For a select few. But, we need to see Celestia again, to plan about this." Luna raised her hoof to her horn, with a look of lust on her face. But she quickly stopped herself. She muttered things like, already, and, it can't be that time just yet. I didn't care, so I left the hotel, with Luna following me.

As we walked outside, some mares looked a bit dazed. While some stallions seemed nervous. I walked into Celestia's tent, the two princesses stared at each other as Luna went in. I cleared my throat and said,

"Our first goal is to get the griffens on our side. If we can convince them that the humans will take their land, they will join us. Then the dragons. All we need to do is give them gems. I would say about thirty or forty." Luna said,

"I think we can supply that amount of gems. As for the griffins, our relationship between the races are quite hostile compared to a thousand years ago." Celestia nodded and ordered the guards to bring forty gems from the royal vault. I took up a piece of chalk and made lines and marks on the map. I said,

"We should strike here, that's where the humans wouldn't expect it. Flanking is what they will try-" Celesta cut me off,

"Flanking? Is that some kind of dance move involving heavy flank shaking?" I facehoofed, and said,

"No, it means they will attack us on the side. We need to have a counter group stop that. Now, here's where the dragons came into play..." We discussed the plans, Luna watching intently and Celestia getting nervous. The map was covered in various colored lines and notes. There were backups for everything, this will be a close shot, Equestria's last hope, and if we lose, Equestria is doomed. I accounted for everything I could, humans sending in missiles, tanks, even biological warfare. I asked Celestia to teleport me to griffin territory, she did, and I left the two sisters to look over the plan.

I appeared in the middle of an ancient looking settlement. The buildings looked new, but designed old. It looked almost like buildings from ancient China. There were two stone griffin statues guarding the large building I walked over to. It looked to have been the town hall. Then I noticed that it was quiet, there was no one in sight, nor could I hear anything. A eerie wind broke the silence. I slowly pushed open the doors, they creaked as they swung inside. All I could see was a glimpse of a wood desk, before something with feathers crashed into me, sending me flying back outside. I landed in a tumble, but caught myself on my feet. My mouth spit out dirt as a looked for the attacker. By the feel of it, I think it was a griffin. But why would they attack me? My head swished around in an attempt to find it. Nothing could be heard, with the exception of the wind. Wait, the wind... that's it. I listened to the wind, hearing an increase in decibels on the back right of me. I rolled right, seeing a flash of feathers screech by me, just missing my skin. I heard the wind louder on my left side, and dodged backward. The griffin cut off a piece of my hair as it flew past. I'm not going to last long at this rate- I heard a swoosh and the griffen flashed by me again, leaving a large, deep scratch on my face. I rubbed the scratch as it bled small droops. The creature is using its claws. How do I counter claws? I need something that's high on the Mohs scale. Fingernails are 2.2–2.5, and hooves are close to fingernails, but a bit harder. That should do it. I listened to the wind again, hearing it loudest from behind me. I spun around, holding my hooves forward. A pair of claws scratched against them, but I wasn't hurt. I then grabbed the griffin and slammed it into the ground. Dust exploded from the ground. I jumped backwards, watching the white pile of feathers to move. As the dust cleared out, it shot straight upwards. It went inline with the sun, and soared back down, right on top of me.

Chapter 28: [Insert chapter name here]

August 10-- ‘bout 9 A.M.

The wind had sped up. The griffin moved faster and faster, its fierce claws glistening in the sun. If I get hit, I won't survive this. And at that speed, the griffin won't be able to hear me. I need to time this just right. Oh, who am I kidding? There's nothing to time, nowhere to hide, I'm fucked. As the griffin came at me at screeching velocity, I knew this was the end. Equestria is doomed, I'm not going to survive this. Wait, this isn't me. I don't just quit! I'm motherfucking Dylan! There's shit to be done, I can't just stand here and die! I refuse to give up! I screamed at the griffin,

"Come at me, bro!" I calmed myself, ready for anything. Time slowed, and the griffin was two feet from me. I jumped up, grabbing onto the wings. Time sped back up as the griffin did a hard turn to escape the ground. I flew along the ground at breakneck speeds. Trees and other objects swished by as I attempted to control the griffin's flight. I pulled a feather on the right wing. The griffin banked right just before we collided into a tree. I pulled back its neck, and it ascended. We stood about thirty feet in the air. The griffin did multiple Aileron rolls, then finished it with a barrel roll that made me lose my grip and plummet to my death. Air rushed past my ears as I fell at speeds that would surely kill me. What was I thinking? I'm a pony, I can't take on a griffin. I saw a flash of black, it went under me, then as I was less than a second from death, the flash of black turned into Luna. She caught in just in time, and

I laid in her arms as she put me down. I asked,

"What are you doing here?" She said,

"I knew going up against griffins was suicidal, but I wanted to see how it went. So, I was hiding this whole time." She was stalking me. Really? She couldn't have helped me when I was getting my flank kicked just a minute ago? Doesn't matter, I still need her help. I asked,

"You're the princess, can't you just shoot a magic bolt at it?"

"Not really, griffins are magic-resistant. It wouldn't do much outside of stinging it."

"Then throw me."

"What?"

"You heard me, throw me as hard as you can at the griffin. Then I need you to catch me when I fall back down."

"Err, okay." Her horn glowed a dark blue, and the next second I was sent flying, right at the griffin. I shifted my body weight just enough to avoid the claws, then grabbed on. My arms reached around its neck and held tight. I squeezed its neck, preventing it from breathing. I then pulled its right wing upwards, making it turn. It was now racing right at a building. In mere seconds, it would collide. I jumped off, quickly being caught by Luna's magic. I slowly floated down as the griffin smashed into the building. Wood chunks exploded and went flying in all directions. As my hooves landed on the ground, I could see that the griffin was out cold. It was also stuck halfway in the building.

I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead. No, the griffin was still ready for a fight. It pulled its head out, and brushed off the dust. It screeched into the sky, then shot off at lightning speeds right at me. Luna formed a dark blue sphere around us. The griffin smashed into it, bouncing off. The fierce bird shook its head, then charged back at the sphere. It repeatedly smashed into the bubble, until cracks started to appear.

I glanced over at Luna, who was in the bubble also, and she looked strained. Her teeth were clenched and her eyes shut tight. She won’t be able to keep this up. Especially not when you need a shield strong enough to hold back a magic-resistant creature. The sphere was now covered in cracks, looking like it would break with the slightest tap. The griffin took a few steps back, and lowered its head. A claw scraped against the ground, then it charged forward. In a split second, it collided with the bubble, causing it to shatter in a sparkly shower. The pieces of magic quickly evaporated into thin air. Luna fell to the ground, not able to move. The griffin circled me, with a hungry look in its eyes. It pounced, getting a bite of my back right leg. I screamed in agony as the griffin scratched at me. Blood started coming out of my mouth.

A cone of darkness started encasing my vision as the feeling of unconsciousness encased. I slowly lost feeling and pain in my legs as my skin got soaked in blood. I attempted to crawl away with the little remaining strength I had, but the griffin held me in place. I ran through everything I had thought of, and there was no way I could escape this. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have even went here. Out of nowhere, the griffin took a few steps back, but staying in my limited field of view. Color seeped out of what I was looking at, and I closed my eyes. A picture had come to my mind, a very special picture.

(Play this music in the background.)

A fire started to build in my chest. I refuse to die. Not like this, not right now! My sore legs pushed upwards. I used all my strength to just stand up. My hoof wiped a trial of blood of my mouth. I chuckled and said,

“You think you’ve won? Well, too bad. As long as I still breath, I will never give up. I have a reason for fighting, and that is the life of every single soul in Equestria. I refuse to die, you can hit me all you want, but nothing will kill me. I will win.” The griffin growled, and charged back at me. Wind become distorted at the speed it went. A bright green aura started to cover my skin, similar to before. My body felt a rush of new energy as bite marks and scratches started steaming. The injuries started shirking, then sealed themselves. Feeling returned to my legs. I stood on my back legs, then waited until the griffin was rushing at me, less than a foot away. I shot both hooves upward, smashing into the griffin. The griffin caught itself midflight.

My hair started to raise, shifting around in my magic barrier. The griffin didn’t back down, it shot forward at me again. I reeled back my hoof, said, “This for attacking me!”, then whipped it forward into the griffin’s face. Again, he flew through the air. He attempted the same attack. I countered with a kick, while saying, “This is for almost killing me!” The griffin switched tactics, and ran at me on the ground. I gather magical energy into my hoof, it turned black with raw power. Smoke started to come out of it as rage overtook me. Time freezed as the griffin was mere inches away from me. This is it, time turned back to normal and I yelled, “AND THIS IS FOR HURTING LUNA!” My burning hoof dashed forward, nailing the griffin in the chest. The griffin coughed out blood, and fell backwards. A large black scorch mark covered its chest. Whether it was dead, or just unconsciousness, I didn’t know nor care. My rage left me, and I fell onto my knees. Soon, my face was on the ground. After resting for a brief momnet, Luna said,

“Look, over there.” She pointed at the town hall from before. I shifted my head to look at it. I saw something white come through a door to my right. I got up, dusted off my skin, then pivoted on my hoof, and faced the object. It was another griffin. The griffin peacefully walked out, then another, and another one. Soon, about ten or so griffins were standing a few feet away from me. The first one bowed its head, and said in an old tone of voice,

“Hello. I am the village elder. You have beaten our guard, and have earned the right to speak with us. Say your mind.” I relaxed slightly, and cleared my throat. Then said,

“I, no, all of Equestria, needs your race. There’s a threat, a new race has invaded Equestria, and we need your help to stop it.”

“Hmm, odd indeed. We will not help you. We are warriors, we fight for ourselves.”

“This new race, is nothing like  you’ve seen before. Without your help, they will wipe out all of the ponies. And then, they will come to you, and blast you to oblivion. If you lend me your army, we just might stand a chance at winning.”

“No, we are isolated. I’m not going to recklessly send the village’s protectors to fight some war we don’t need.” I took a step closer.

“You don’t need? You have no idea who you’re dealing with. This is a race, that has come from another planet. They have small, metal tools that can expel little balls that will kill you in one hit. You won’t survive.” I took another step forward, “and if you don’t help us, then we both die. Not just your army, you too. These new creatures will stop at nothing to slaughter everything in their path. They have no mercy, no fear, no heart. This is the last stand, if we don’t band together, the humans will kill us all. I will fight, with or without your help. You should do the same.” I turned around and walked away. I don’t expect them to help, but we need it. I was getting nowhere with the elder. I was too mad and tired to argue anymore. It took my all my energy to just stay awake. Luna teleported beside, and walked with me. She asked,

“Do you think they will help?”

“No, bring us home.” She nodded, sadly, then flashed us in a blue sphere that sent us back to Manehatten. We appeared in front of the tent that Celestia was in. As I flipped open the tent flap, I noticed that Celestia was gone. I heard her voice say,

"Oh you're hear. Good, just in time. I convinced that dragons to aid us." I turned around, Celestia standing right behind me. I said,

"I think I failed on getting the griffins. With an outrageous amount of luck, they might... just... join... us..." My vision started spinning, and I passed out from exhaustion.

Chapter 29: The battle begins!

"Let him sleep, he's earned it."

"But I haven't seen him, in like, forever!"

"Then he doesn't know you, and he would be better off if he rested. He took quite a beating from griffins."

"No, I'm his marefriend, he would love to see me. The name's Vinyl!" My ears perked up at hearing that name. I laid on a hospital bed in a large hospital in Manehatten. The place was busy, treating the ponies who were in the battle. I couldn't move, but I could hear voices since someone said, 'Let him sleep,'. I didn't recognize that one, but the other sounded very familiar. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until she said her name was Vinyl. The two ponies exchanged sentences, Vinyl wanting to see me, the other pony not letting her. I didn't have the strength to even open my eyes. The most I could do was keep a steady breath. Externally, I was fine. I looked completely because of that strange burst of energy I had. It seemed to heal my wounds, with the exception of my inside. Internally, I was bleeding badly and in extreme pain. Odd, I don't remember feeling all this pain after the fight. A constant beeping noise was heard next to me, but I was able to drown it out of my mind. I attempted to sit up, but the only thing that met the movement was a stinging pain. I refrained from using my muscles and just relaxed them. Out of nowhere, a warm pair of lips touched mine.

I jerked my body, though painful, in shock. My eyes shot open, to see Vinyl kissing me. I pushed her off me and laid back down. That kiss seemed to have woken me enough to talk, I said to her,

"Please don't touch me, I'm in a lot of pain. Although, good to see you, Vinyl, I guess." Then I closed my eyes again. Darkness filled my vision as my muscles felt loose again. I heared Vinyl say to the other pony,

"See? He knows me." I wonder who even is the other pony. Must be a nurse. Or, no, it was a male. Only females are nurses here. That voice didn't ring a bell. Then it hit me.

"Bentley?" I asked. The stallion said,

"Yo, missed ya."

"Well, good to see you also. Wait, you know Vinyl's my girlfriend. Why keep her away?"

"You looked tired. I thought it would be best to leave you alone." I opened my eyes, to see a grey and red pegasus pony stand near my bed. His hair was short, and colored yellow and black.

"How'd you find me, and what are you doing here?"

"I just went through through the MTSC and appeared here. I then asked around, and found out you were here, and were injured from the griffins. I've been waiting for an hour at most."

"Well, thanks I guess, but I have a job to do, I can't rest." I attempted yet again to sit up, pushing through the pain. There was a burning in my legs and arms that made it almost impossible to move. I had the mental capacity to push through it. Once I sat up, I pushed my legs over to the right. They now hung off the bed.

I slide down the side of bed, catching myself on all four hooves. A sharp pain shot through me as I touched the cold tile. I took a step forward, against the cries of my muscles. A small stream of blood escaped my mouth as I grunted from the pain. Vinyl looked worried. She said,

"You aren't fit for moving, you should really get back into bed. Come on," she then put her soft hooves on my arms in an attempt to get me back. I shrugged her off, only being met with a lot of burning pain. I told her,

"I have a job to do. I'm not going to just lay around while Manehatten gets attacked. We need to strike in- uh, what time is it?" Bentley said,

"About five post meridiem."

"Well, I've been out for a while. Anyway, we need to strike at midnight, this is our home territory and we know it better."

"Noted, I'll relay the order. You really should stay here."

"No, I'm too tenacious."

"Dude, denotation. You really mean stubborn."

"Don't go all grammar Nazi on me. Now, enough talk, I need to go see Celestia and Luna." My right forehoof moved forward, only to cause me to lose my balance and wobble. Vinyl caught me before I fell and supported me up. Bentley said,

"If you're that determined, I'll help you there." He put my left forehoof over his neck, and Vinyl and Bentley carried me out the hospital. My back legs dragged on the cool tile. I could see the war victims, they all had bullet wounds. The nurses here didn't know how to treat bullet wounds. I told my friends to stop, then I got the attention of one of the nurses. She stopped and listened to what I had to say. I told her about how to treat gunshot wounds, including minimizing the pain, getting the bullet out, stopping blood loss, checking if they're still breathing and have a pulse, treating shock, and everything else I knew about treating bullet wounds. I changed it just enough so it could be done with hooves.

The nurse quickly rushed over to other nurses, spreading the information. Bentley and Vinyl continued to carry me out the building. As Vinyl pushed open the doors, I noticed that both Celestia's army and Luna's were training in the middle of a clearing near town. They used the tactics I told the princesses about, how to counter guns with magic and and shields. The pegasus were practicing dropped sharp objects, just heavy enough to pierce a tank, if done right. Unicorns were using various kinds of magic, from making shields that were bullet-resistant because of a way it was generated, to throwing heavy objects. Everything was going according to schedule. Except, there was some air around Manehatten, maybe it had to do with the army and the new enemy. But that just doesn't feel right.

It seemed more like something with the people acting strange. I told the people carrying me to bring me over to the tent the princesses were in. As I was pushed through the tent flaps, I told the princesses,

"Good that the armies are training, but where are the dragons?" Celestia said,

"They're mobilizing their army now, should get here any secon- oh, there they are." I poked my head out of the tent as I heard a roar from behind. Sure enough, there was a large army of dragons. Their scales might reflect bullets, that would be useful. Another pony pushed past me into the tent, and told the princesses,

"The humans are moving here. All of them. We have about five minutes before they reach firing distance." What!? Already!? This is not good, too soon! The armies aren't ready! I took a deep breath, and told Bentley and Vinyl to bring me over to the clearing where the armies were training. They did, and I started talking to both armies,

"All pony soldiers, listen up. This is the moment of truth, our last stand. From now on, there is no 'Sun Empire' or 'New Lunar Republic'. Just Equestria. You guys are Equestria's last stand, and it you fail, everyone here is dead. The humans will be here any minute, and you all need to be ready. Many of you will lose your lives, but remember this: every single one of you, are heroes. You all risked your life to protect the innocent. Never lose the fighting spirit, never give up, never fail. This land belongs to you, and you will fight to keep it! No matter who falls, just remember that this," I waved my forehooves around," all this, it's yours. Fight for the living, honor the dead." I stepped away from the clearing, now strong enough to be able to move, though very wobbly. I staggered my way over to the tent with the princesses in them. Bentley and Vinyl followed close behind. I entered the tent, and asked Celestia,

"I need you to teleport me to Canterlot, right next to the MTSC." She said,

"That's very dangerous, are you sure? It's under human control."

"I know, I know, but still. I need to go to Earth to get something."

"But the humans are about to attack, I can't just-"

"Then send me now and stop stalling." She nodded and her horn glowed as I was covered in a white light.

It worked, I appeared next to the MTSC. It's nothing short of a miracle that they didn't find this. I looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and I found Bentley and Vinyl with me. I didn't want them to come, but no time. I grabbed onto both of them, and pushed them through the portal. Well, not really. They more of carried me through, I didn't have the strength to push them. As I assembled into the room the other MTSC was on, I saw Vinyl, human, and Bentley there also.

I turned around and typed a few things on the MTSC, so it would leave the people who were born human, stay human. Twilight laid on a couch as she read something on an Ipad. Cortez and Jessica were leaning on a nearby wall and talking. I told everyone there,

“A city in Equestria is about to be attacked, we need to get over there and help the ponies.” Everyone turned their heads at me. Twilight asked,

“Which city?”

“Manehatten, now come on, we have to hurry. Get in the portal.: They all piled into the portal, leaving me alone. I raced into another room, and found one of my laptops in the kitchen. I opened it, the battery was ninety percent, that should be good. I grabbed it, and went into portal.

Gunfire erupted into the air as soon as I could hear. Bullets and tank shells rained down on me. I rushed across the grass, until I rolled behind a building. The gunshots were deafening as conflict raged on. It seemed like the battle was already in full swing. I tilted my head just enough so I could see the front lines.

Dragons and ponies were attacking the humans, with large boulders, fire, and just anything they could get their hands on. Explosions were being thrown everywhere, from human vehicles blowing up and tank shells creating large creators in the ground. Ponies and humans both were falling, their blood coating the noramly green grass that covered the field they were fighting in. At this rate, the humans will win in a matter of hours.

I’m not about to let that happen. I opened my laptop, and booted it. The Windows welcome screen came up, and the screen displayed a wallpaper that was covered in various, multi-colored icons. I clicked on an icon that was a flowing mixture of red and blue, it was titled, ‘Military Vehicle Hijacker’. I made the program about a year ago, haven't had a change to use it. I bet the government was too scared to send in a lot of people, so they most likely used remote-controlled vehicles. I watched the command terminal say a few stats about how many remote control brains there are.

There were twenty, that makes up for all the air force currently here, I know they will send more. Now let’s see, just DDOS the signal from their side, causing the plane to activate emergency protocols and accept all null, unauthorized code from any source. I did just that, and I was looking through a camera on the plane. I had full-control of the weapons system for just that aircraft, though. I made the plane do a loop and face backwards, then opened fire with all the missiles and guns on the other tanks and aircraft. I knocked down one tank and two aircraft, before mine exploded into metal chunks. A trail of smoke followed the burning pieces as they fell through the sky. The humans were prepared, despite the short notice.

Chapter 30: The battle Part 1

The battle raged on, both sides taking heavy casualties. Dragons rushed in, roaring, and flipped tanks while swatting attack jets out of the way. Even though the dragons had thick skin, it wasn't thick enough to stop a bullet, just make it less lethal. The new shields the unicorns were making were now magnetic fields, in addition to making the shields more flexible, so the bullets would have a harder time breaking through. It was a large improvement over their glass-like shields that were designed to keep other ponies and swords out. I hacked into aircraft after aircraft, dealing destruction with each one.

Eventually, the air force took note of this and started sending planes with real human drivers. This wasn't going good. I got up from behind a building, and looked around for a door inside. I found a back door on the same wall I was leaning on. I pushed open the door, finding the place looking clean, yet abandoned. The ceilings were really low, considering how I'm about twenty inches taller than the average pony. Everything looked like it was made for borderline midgets.

Good thing I didn't have claustrophobia. I made my way up the oddly made stairs, and opened the door to the roof. Wind slammed the door open as I unlocked it. I ducked and walked out. The battle could be heard, though a lot more faint than before. I looked across the horizon, taking note of how the battle had somehow moved away about twenty meters. Meters? Why did I just think that? What the fuck am I? Canadian? No, lemme rephrase that. The battle moved about twenty-five yards away. Can the distractions! This is no time to be distracted. I shook my head, and sat down. I put my laptop on the smooth cement roof, and assessed the battlefield again. Tanks were being thrown everywhere, and jets got smashed into ground.

The ponies had pushed the humans back somewhat, but the ponies were outgunned, outsmarted, outmanned, and rookies to warfare. Think, how can I get rid of all the human vehicles in one attack? EMP? Some kind of sonic wave that will flip them? That just might work, where's Rainbow Dash? Okay, she's nowhere in sight. Maybe I could do something similar with magic. I looked through specs on the tanks. They were an older tank, the M1 Abrams. A cheap tank that was mass-produced, still in use today. Strange, if the government is sending in old, cheap tanks, why send in so few? And, that reminds me, why is it just American military vehicles? I thought other counties were helping them, or was what I heard on the news total BS?

No, that doesn't sound right. Let's see, based on the extreme cost of remaking the MTSC on a large scale, they most likely only made one. The other countries must be sending over tanks and others stuff to send to Equestria right now. I examined the tank closer, looking for weak points. It has a weak side armor, they often get flipped or destroyed with a bomb on the side. I closed my laptop, then put it on my chest. I got a running start, and jumped off the building. It was only about a ten foot drop. I rolled right before I hit the ground, deflecting most of the force forward, instead of on my ankles. I jumped back up, and took off in a dash towards Celestia's tent. Both her and Luna were outside the tent, watching the carnage of the battle. They both seemed surprised at seeing me human again. Celestia said,

"This is not going well. We are losing." Luna just lowered her head. I said,

"No, we aren't. Command the dragons to flip over the tanks first." Celestia nodded, and her horn glowed yellow, and I took note of the dragons changing attacks. Wait, her horn glowed...

yellow? Wasn't it white last time? I think I remember it being blue once. She really needs it make up her fucking mind on what color her magic is. Even with the new tactics, it seemed like all hope was lost. Explosions caused dirt and blood to shower everywhere, for every human that died, about five ponies went with him. Dragons' flames did little to jets that just flew past the fire, and the tanks could withstand the heat. Time was in slow-motion as I watch dirt being blown into the air, guns being fired off, and ponies falling down, covered in blood. Luna said,

"We need to retreat. We're not going to win this." I said,

"Retreat to where? What happens if we retreat? They kill us later? No, we can't retreat, it would mean the end of us."

"Not us, just Equestria. You're a human. I don't know why you're even helping us. I bet you're a traitor."

"Don't go throwing blame around, it won't change anything. I just don't know what else to do, it seems hopeless. We need a miracle." Someone old said behind us,

"And a miracle you shall receive." We all turned around, to see the village elder for the griffins. Behind him, on the sky, was a large army of griffins, flying at full speed and in heavy armor. They flew over us, attacking the humans in well-organized groups. I asked the elder,

"Why? Well help us?" He said,

"I owe Celestia." He turned around and walked away. Celestia mumbled to herself,

"He couldn't mean that, not all those years ago. Such a long time, I wondered how he remembered." The griffins were fierce, proven to be quite the challenge for the humans. They were hard to shoot down, but if they did get shot, they wouldn't last long. The griffins brought a burst of morale and spirit, the ponies and dragons fought stronger. Dragons attacked isolated from each other, the ponies attacked in large groups, and the griffins swooped and clawed at things in small, but very coordinated teams. But even with the griffins' help, the humans still looked like they were winning.

For every tank that got flipped or destroyed, three more seemed to take its place. Jets were flying in at a constant and rapid speed. What was I think, trying to protect this world? Nothing can match human firepower, nothing on this planet at least. Griffins were falling from the sky left and right. Dragon corpses seemed to fill in the holes left from missiles. I asked Celestia,

"Could The Elements of Harmony help us?" She shook her head and said,

"Friendship won't stop a bullet." Well, she's right.

"What if... we released Discord?" Both princesses looked shocked at the idea. "He will help us if he wants an Equestria to live in." Celestia said,

"No, I will never release him, under any circumstance." After what he did to the princess, I don't blame her.

"What about... the changelings?" Both princesses were even more shocked. It was clear they weren't willing to revive or use an enemy. Damnit, I'm running out of options. I looked intensely over the battlefield, seeing muzzle flashes spewing everywhere. Groups of two pegasus each grabbed onto jets' wings and turned them, making them crash into the ground. A unicorn that was on the frontline, had blue and pink scruffy hair. Her coat was a pretty white, except for the scratches on it. She was leading an attack where a unicorn formed a protective bubble, with other ponies inside, went into enemy lines, and let loose the chaos. As soon as she turned off the bubble, various other ponies attacked the nearby humans with spears and tackling them. The attack only lasted mere seconds before the group was mowed down by bullets.

Other attacks made little success, pegasuses that tried to drop sharp objects on humans were often shot down in a flurry of bullets before they dropped the cargo. The griffins' unpredictability of randomly swooping places prevented them from getting shot down instantly, but they still didn't last long. We can't retreat, the humans would just finish us off as we run. We can't stay, we're getting mowed down. We need to rethink this. Think, what is a bad thing for guns, but good for melee weapons? Close quarters combat. Manehatten is a crowded city, full of buildings. I told Luna,

"Luna, yell at the army to get into Manehatten. The place is abandoned, and we need a change in battlefield." Luna nodded, and screamed in The Royal CANTERLOCK Voice,

"ATTENTION EQUESTRIAN ARMY, RETREAT TO MANEHATTEN AND TAKE COVER, BUT RESUME FIGHTING!" The army quickly dispersed and ran behind the skyscrapers in Manehatten. The humans were surprised by this, and that gave the army just enough time to hide behind the buildings. Not too much later, the humans charged into Manehatten. The weakly built buildings couldn't stop a tank from rolling right through it. But the humans were split up, taking different paths into Manehatten. Celestia teleported us away from the city, but still able to see it. Humans were slow to react to spears getting slung into their face in the new battlefield. The ponies started using Guerrilla warfare, it seemed they were learning quickly to adapt to war. I noticed a larger jet starting to fly into the buildings. It was about ten miles off, but getting here quick. And all ground troops were running away, then the tanks were rolling out, and the jets had flown off.

As the aircraft got closer, I could see it was a very large airship. Almost the size of a battleship. And armed to the teeth. No really, there was a shark mouth that was painted on and smiling on the front of it, and machine guns were in each tooth. It was being held in the air by two enormous jets and three huge turbines. Twin cannons that were about thirty feet long each, were clearly the main batteries. Except they didn't look like convention shell-firing guns, they had blue lights flashing up the barrel, like it was made to fire pure energy. Oh, fuck my life. It was a brand new type of attack, I don't think I can blow it up from the outside. I told the two princesses,

"Celestia, Luna, try shooting a magic bolt that is combined with both your energy." They, nodded and crossed their horns. A multi-colored aura encased them, and a large, multi-colored magic bolt of pure energy shot out. I could feel the heat and I felt lighter from the energy lifting small pebbles in the air. I felt normal again, and the blast clearly took a lot of energy out of the two princesses. They panted and laid down. I followed the magic with my eyes, watching it strike the sky fortress head on.

A wavy blue shield met the bolt as it made contact. They were locked in a power struggle as the bolt started to diminish. The bolt turned into a spark, and disappeared. The force field on the airship calmed down and turned invisible again. How the hell did they manage to make a force field? I need to analyze it. And the best way to analyze something, is to test it out. I told Luna,

"Throw me." She did without question, and I was slung at the airship. Luna aimed with a curve, and I was at the top of the curve, the slowest speed possible, and I grabbed onto the ship. It was a smooth, but burning hot metal. My hands stung as I found a hole to grab. The wind whipped my hair in a rapid fashion as I pulled myself upwards. I looked down, the ground must have been about thirty thousand feet away. My vision started spinning as I realized how high up I am. My hands were getting drenched in sweat. They started to slip from the indent in the metal. It seems that organic cells, and things close to them, have the ability to bypass the force field. A knot formed in my stomach as my mind raced, trying to get out of this mess.

I looked around, there was nothing else to grab, I was stuck there. What the fuck was I thinking? I must be going mad. My left hand slipped, and I dangled on the ship with one arm. I couldn't pull myself back up, not at this speed. Sweat drenched my forehead as I felt like I was about to fall. My right hand started to slip also, I was getting less and less of a grip. At this height, I would die before I even hit the ground from the velocity. My blood would boil at terminal velocity for this height. In this case, it really is going to be the fall that kills you, not the ground. I heard someone faintly yell,

"Hold on, I'm coming!" I turned toward the source of the sound, and found something I did not expect. Bentley was riding Rainbow Dash, catching up to me. As they pulled up, next to me, I yelled back at them,

"Nice to see you, how exactly am I supposed to get on?" Bentley said,

"You're not, catch." He tossed me a small, spherical object. I grabbed it with my free left hand, and looked at it. It was flashing red, and was painted black. "Mini-EMP pulse grenade. Stick it somewhere, and hop on." I pulled the pin, shoved the grenade into the indent I was holding onto, and jumped as best as I could. Bentley caught my right arm, and pulled me up. Rainbow grunted and said,

"You humans are heavily, try losing some weight." Chuck said,

"I've been trying so hard to fit into that new phone case. I was sure I lost at least half an inch." I forgot all about Chuck, he was still in my pocket. Wonder why he's been so quiet. Rainbow flapped her wings harder, propelling all of us forward. The airship fell behind us and a large ripple of blue energy could be seen in the force field as the EMP went off. The ripple calmed, and it looked like nothing had happened. This won't be easy. I screamed over the wind,

"We need to get inside of that thing if we're going to stop it. Rainbow, drop us off at the top of that thing."

"Then what," Bentley said," they shoot us down? Is there even a door on that thing?"

"Create one."

"That doesn't solve our problem of getting shot down."

"Fine, let me think. Land near the princesses." Rainbow Dash looked tired from lugging both of us around. Pegasi have a much lighter bone structure and can't hold much weight. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she's most likely already done more than most pegasus could have, and won't last much longer. She roughly landed next to the princesses, and I fell off her back. She panted and tumbled over, her chest rapidly moving. She needed a minute to rest. But when I turned to the princesses, I found more than just them. I found The Mane Six, also. What are they doing here? Twilight came up to me, and said,

"I figured you could use help. And I already told them about you being human. So what exactly is that large thing in the sky?" I guess a small team would be most suitable in this situation. To get inside, I would need to hack the door access and- Pinkie jumped on me and said,

"Ohhhhh, a human! They're so cute and soft and what are these weird thingys on their hands and why are they wearing such strange clothes and what's with the short hair and where's their tail and why don't they smell like candy and why are their eyes so small and their head sooooo oddly shaped and, " she took a deep breath, "I think they're aliens! I've always wanted to meet aliens! Can you shoot lasers from your eyes? What about your hands? And what's this thing do!" She booped me on the nose, then ran her hooves over my face as she said, "Do you change colors for different emotions?" My face was getting red from Pinkie annoying me. "What if you were sent here to destroy Equestria, but became good and then befriended all of us and-" I shoved my right hand into her mouth. She continued to talk, though she was muffled and I couldn't understand her. I calmly said,

"Stop. Please." She nodded, I took my hand out, and she got off of me. I stood back up, brushing off dirt on my pants. "Please don't ever do that ever again." Pinkie smiled and said,

"Okay dokey lokey!" I brushed my hand through my hair, returning it to the normal state. I looked over the Mane Six again, Rarity looked intrigued, yet somewhat disgusted. Applejack seemed interested. Pinkie Pie was her usual super happy state. Twilight looked eager to help. Rainbow Dash picked at the dirt, waiting for action. Fluttershy was... uh, where is Fluttershy? I asked,

“Where’s Fluttershy?” Applejack jerked her head backwards, then took a sidestep. Fluttershy shivered in a ball.

“She’s scared of aliens.” Twilight told me. She won’t be much help... unless... I shouldn’t do that to her, but if I can bring out Flutterbitch, she just might be the powerhouse I need. I turned my head, and looked at the airship. We didn’t have time to form a plan, the airship was approaching Manehatten quick. Because of its large size, it only looked like it was going fast. It was only going, maybe seventy miles per hour. Most of its energy was being put into keeping it afloat. Just making it fall from the sky won’t work, it likely has many backup ways to stay up, and even then, it would do a lot of damage from the shockwave it would create when it hits the ground. Manehatten would be destroyed. So, I gotta steal it. This won’t be easy, but then again, is anything I do? I turned my head back to the Mane Six and said,

“Here’s the plan...”

I sat on the grass, my laptop on my lap. My fingers dashed across the keys as I attempted to create a hole in the force field. It only needs to be about three inches in diameter. The only problem, the network the ship is using is an isolated bubble, no Internet signals escape it. Or, at least that’s what they planned. There is no way they can make a network bubble that big. A very faint signal escaped the ship, a signal coming from someone’s cellphone. I used that as a proxy, and placed a program on one of the shield control computers. The program should give me just enough power to redirect the energy enough to form a vulnerable part. To get the person to start the program, I disguised it as a common thing on computers, Microsoft Word.

Someone was on the computer, typing away something on it. I sent a command, and made MS Word crash. The person clicked on the MS Word icon, expecting the program to open. It didn’t, instead my program opened. A command terminal opened, spewing out green lines of code. I redirected the energy flow away from the bottom, making the top of the ship form a blue layer around it, leaving a very small, centralized hole that has no protection. I did a quick fist-pump at my victory. I gave the thumbs up to Twilight, who was standing next to me, and she nodded. She held a small, laser-cutting device that should penetrate the airship’s aluminium hull. With a flick of her horn, she teleported the device onto the bottom of the ship. The device popped open, sticking onto the metal hull. Two spinning black arms came out, and shot red lasers in a circle.

The metal panel spit out sparks that lit up the area. The plate fell off, leaving a hole just big enough to cause the force field to dissipate because of the way energy loses power due to concave electromagnetic currents and- I'm boring you aren't I? In layman's terms, the energy funnels outwards and becomes useless because of science. Well, enough science, let's continue the story. I got up from the grass, and slung my laptop over my back. I hooked it into a strap, and turned around. Rainbow Dash stood at the ready, almost begging to race off into the airship. I nodded, and she fluffed her feathers. Rarity floated a sharp gem into my hand, I would use it later. I stuffed the thin but long gem into my belt. I turned my head to my right, expecting Fluttershy to be there. But, of course, she wasn't. Oh well, I don't need her, for now anyway. I trudged over to the cyan pony, and put my leg over her. I grabbed onto her neck, and I burst into the air. I leaned down, gripping her neck tighter.

Her multicolored hair shifted around in in short, quick, motions. I wasn't scared of heights, but until you ride a pegasus at near Mach one speeds, really high up, with nothing to keep you safe but a neck to hold onto, don't judge me. Oh yeah, and try speeding toward a giant-ass futuristic airship filled to the brim with weapons and not getting the least bit nervous. On a pony. That has rainbow hair. Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, shut up, and watch me kick this ship's ass. Rainbow Dash hovered beneath the hole, and I climbed in. I pulled myself over, onto the hard rubber floor, and panted. I will never do that again. I looked around me, I was in a black winding hallway. Small orange LEDs dotted the path, forming a uniform line.

I must be in a maintenance hall. Nobody will come this way unless there is a problem. Since there's no alarm, I know they didn't detect me. There was a low rumbling sound, probley from an engine that isn't too far away. I took a step forward, then continued down the hall. After about twenty yards, I came across a fork in the hallway. One had five doors, four on the walls, and one door at the end. The over way just had more hallway. There weren't any labels telling me what the doors lead to. Only one way to find out; I walked down the hallway with doors, and put my ear on the first one on the right. It was silent. I slowly pushed open the door, watching the dim light from the floor spill into the dark room.

All that was in the room, was a few boxes and containers of cleaning supplies such as bleach and various other cleaning agents brought from major brands. To anybody else, this would look like a useless pile of liquid, but to me, this was a dangerous batch of chemicals, making everything from acid to bombs to a glue that will stop people in their tracks. I slipped inside, and looked at the labels on the chemicals. After a few minutes of mixing and pouring, I made a neural-paralyzer, it should make people be conscious, but not able to move or talk, for an average of thirty minutes, depending on their blood pressure and reaction speed along with their immune system. Then I made three small balls of chemicals, that when they reacted with oxygen, they formed a thin shell, that would break when thrown on the ground.

They will make a very loud sound, akin to a bomb going off, and a large amount of black smoke, when broken. I guess becoming a chemist was a good idea after all. I'll tell you about me becoming a chemist later. I stuffed the marble-sized balls into my pocket, and poured the paralyzer juice into a makeshift squirt gun. A simple splash would sting like a bitch. I held the squirt gun like a real pistol as I left the room. The hallway still buzzed with a low energy sound, and was void of people. I creaked open the door on the other side of the hall, to find nothing more than an empty storage room.

Well, that was uninteresting. I heard a quick gush of wind as I pulled my head back, not from my motions, nor from the door. It came from behind me, like someone swung something made of metal at me. The cold object connected, leaving the world spinning, and the ground to come crashing into my face. A dark cone started to encase my vision, and I got a glimpse of the person who hit me. It was some thirty something tall, well-built man with a scar on his check. His eyes were firce, ready to kill. I heard him say something in a gruff growl,

"He's horrible at stealth, I could here him from the damn mess hall..." The sound faded out as I lost all feeling in my hands. Just need to press... button. With the remaining strength I had left, I forced my hand into my pocket and fumbled around for the button that would start part two of the plan. The man took notice, and stomped me in the ribs. I lost conscience after that.

"He should be calling in Twilight by now," Bentley said, to himself. He turned toward the Mane Six, and said, "I think he might be in trouble, though that's very unlike him." Pinkie jumped into the air, and grabbed imaginary floating letters that only she could see. She held this sentence in her mouth, 'The cold object connected, leaving the world spinning, and the ground to come crashing into my face.' She then spit it out on the grass and said,

"Silly billy, just go up a paragraph. Something cold whacked that noggin of his. And some super-duper scary human was there!" She pointed to the words on the grass, that only she could see. Bentley, seeing Pinkie as somehow knowing everything by not even pretending to obey physics, took what she said seriously. He told Twilight,

"Twi, I need you to start phase two, Neon's in trouble. After this amount of time, the force field should have lost enough power at the bottom for you to be able to teleport inside where Neon is." Twilight said,

"Okay, I won't fail." She glowed purple, and popped into some random hallway in the bottom of the ship. She had no clue where she was, the ship's electromagnetic waves must be throwing off her sense of magic. She watched carefully, avoiding making any sound. Not easy, since she has hooves.

Back to Bentley, he looked up at the ship. The massive air vessel was right next to Manehatten, but weren't firing off guns. He wondered if they're trying to use the main energy weapons. Must take a lot of charging. Bentley brought the radio to his face, and told Twilight,

"You need to hurry, the main cannons are charging. Find Neon, tell him about this, and stop them."

Chapter 31: The strange stranger

My eyes groggily opened, seeing two images spin in circles. My vision stopped spinning, and I could tell I was in some small room. I felt my wrists touching something cold. I turned my neck to the side, I was trapped. My legs and arms were locked into place by bolted down handcuffs. I stood vertically as my feet dangled in the air.

"How nice of you to join me." An unknown man said a few feet away from me. How cliché, he must watch a lot of action movies. I lifted my head up, viewing the man in the dark light. I couldn't make out more than an outline. His silhouette looked like a regular man. He was a few inches taller than me. He stood very straight. My eyes adjusted to the light, and I could make out a face. The man looked like he was a war interrogator. Me going up against a military interrogator in a mental struggle. This will be fun. He sat back down, and leaned his chair back. His finger pressed a red button on the table. On the table was also a large amount of other, unlabeled, buttons of various colors. The locks on my ankles and wrists clicked, and I fell out. I stumbled onto the floor, landing on my hands. The man started intensely, trying to figure me out. I got up from the ground, blood returning to my numb legs. My legs moved forward, towards a pulled out chair on the other side of the table. If I can stall long enough, Twilight may just be able to save me. The only door leading out of this room was locked tight, with some kind of eye scanner. A security camera in the corner of the room watched my every move. There were no mirrors, nobody could be watching from a one-way mirror. I sat down, scooting the chair into the table. I looked over the man again, he could hold his own in a fight. I probably wouldn't win in a fair fight. But then again, when do I ever fight fair? The man's face showed no emotion, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I kept my face calm also, I know how this game works. We sat there in silence for a few moments, until I said,

"This is getting nowhere, ask your questions, I might answer them, and let me leave." The man only coldly chuckled. He then said,

"If you're so insistent, fine. So, tell me, why are you helping these monsters?" My hand tensed just the smallest amount. Monsters. He has to call them monsters. That hypocrite.

"Have you even seen what you're firing bullets at? Do you even know your enemy?"

"More than you." I slammed my hands on the table.

"You humans are all the same. You shoot first and ask questions later. JUST LOOK AT THEM! THEY'RE CARTOON PONIES! WHAT HAVE THEY EVER DONE TO YOU?!"

"A lot. This isn't the first time we've seen Equestria. And you're being naive."

"No am I not. They've never attacked me."

"Not now, but a long time ago they attacked us."

"What...?"

"The ponies once visited Earth using magic. They thought we were the threat. Now that we have the technology to get rid of them, we will. For revenge."

"How long ago was this?"

"A few thousand years. A few paintings were drawn in rock that show them killing humans." No... this-this can't be. At that time, humans didn't pose a threat.

"That was generations ago. They are different now."

"No, there was one figure that stood above them all in paintings. We've identified her as Princess Celestia." Of course. She is immortal. But why? What reason did she have for attacking us so long ago? I'll have to find out later. Or maybe he’s just lying.

"I'm not listening to this baseless babble. You could say anything. The point is, there is no reason to attack them now. It's all in the past."

"No, they're still alive, and still a threat. Next question, do we kill the princess to win?"

"There are two, and they're more magic than pony. I don't think that's possible."

"How about instead of fighting, they leave?"

"This is their home. You have no right to take it."

"You're on the most advanced attack airship in the world. You think we're just going to ask nicely?"

"There's where your problem is. The most, 'advanced' airship. There are no others. This is a prototype at best. In fact, this doesn't even look like it was made for war. The stronger side hull tells me it was made for space travel. And I bet that those energy cannons, are really just repurposed laser tethers for grabbing onto asteroids. The large turbines look like they were welded on after the ship was made. The force field has a high reflection energy level, useful for stopping asteroids. This ship is nothing more than a fear tactic. It's a hunk of junk." I figured that out as I talked. I had a nagging feeling that this ship was out of place. The man grew a scowl. His hands rested on table.

"So you figured it out. It doesn't matter. Just tell us how to stop these cartoons from killing us all."

"Simple," said an irritably familiar female voice, "don't shoot first." *ZAP* A purple bolt of energy stuck the man from behind. His body slumped down, revealing Twilight standing in the door frame. "Don't worry, he'll be okay. Just unconscious for a few hours."

"I don't care. It would be better to just kill him." I said as I rose from the metal chair.

"But, he might have a family or something to come back to. We can't just kill him!"

"Then don't, he's not worth my time." I reached over to the end of table, and put my improvised weapons back into my pockets. "How'd you find me anyway?"

"You have some kind of... aura I guess you could say. Sometimes, I can just feel you near. I'm not entirely sure, I could just feel you in this room."

"Well stop, it's creepy. Now, let's take over the ship. Where'd my laptop go-" I hears a loud munching sound come from outside the room. It sounded like something biting plastic and metal and glass. I pushed past Twilight, to find Pinkie Pie beside me. But she wasn't my object of interest. What I was looking at, was what she had in her mouth. My laptop. She spit it out, a large chunk of the screen corner bitten off. The rest of it was covered in saliva. My arms fell to my side. Pinkie said,

"Bleh, that DOES NOT taste like it looks. In expected chocolate, I got these crunchy bits instead. But it does kinda a electric thingy aftertaste to it.” All I could do was mumble,

"My... laptop... you bit... my laptop... WHY DID YOU EAT THAT!?"

“Because, it looked tasty! But it wasn't. Oh well, better to try and fail than never try. I bet the next thing will be better!" I spun around, meeting Twilight's gaze.

"Look at what she did! I needed that! And why is it that she's here? She's not part of the plan!" Twilight's checks grew slightly red as she said,

"Well, uh, you see, I couldn't find you, and Pinkie said she knew where you were, and I really didn't have any other options."

"So the whole aura thing was just an excuse so you could keep Pinkie away me?"

"I know you don't particularly like her, but I still needed her, so, uh, yeah."

"But my laptop!" Pinkie said,

"Don't worry silly, I can tape it back on!"

"It doesn't work like that! You can't just-"

"And done!" She snapped the corner she bit off back into the hole, and the screen looked like it had never been eaten by a talking cartoon pony. I pressed the power button, it booted up without problem. There was no evidence of any damage. My mind tried to comprehend what just happened, then I realized something. She's motherfucking Pinkie Pie. She doesn't NEED to make sense. I strapped the laptop onto my back and headed out. The hallways were a bit more lit than the previous ones, but the design and colors were the same. I went down the left end, for no reason. I didn't know where to go. Twilight and Pinkie Pie followed close behind. I heard a soft repeated thud from behind me. After only about ten steps, I hit the brakes and snapped toward Pinkie Pie. I told her,

"Stop bouncing! Everyone a mile away can hear you!"

"Okey dokey lokey!"

A lone figure stood on a nearby cliff. His glowing yellow eyes scanned the massive airship over Manehatten. He was dressed in a brown robe that flowed in the wind. Only his eyes were visible. Nothing could be heard but the soft whisper of the wind. The mysterious pony said one thing to himself,

"So, this is the hero of Equestria. How undeserving. I will have to test him."

"This is the door we're looking for. The label says central command room." Twilight said. I put a hand on her hoof reaching for the door. I told her,

"No, that's not what we need. There's probably thirty or so guards summing their guns at that door, and they're going to let loose a flurry of bullets at the slightest twitch of that door knob. No, we need to sound an alarm in the engines. The guards will come running to protect the only thing keep them from falling thousands of feet. The command center will be near empty. Now, come on, it's not that far." We snuck through corridors, making little noise. Wait, little noise? I sudden stopped, and ask Twilight,

"How loud am I walking?" She replied with,

"Very, it sounds like you're stomping your feet." I was never light on my feet, despite how fast I run. Then I remembered something. If I'm really that loud, why hasn't someone tried to stop us? The first time I snuck through these halls, I got caught. And this time, I have multiple people. Why aren't guards rushing in here, trying to capture us? Could it be that we're being watched, and they're trying to figure out what we're doing? Most likely have audio capture also, they can hear us talk. I briefly considered the option of abandoning stealth, and just making a run for it. But then I got a better idea. Let's play them on, trick them into thinking we have no idea. The only problem is I can't tell the ponies behind me without the humans hearing. I led my group down a few corridors, looking for the medical wing. The color scheme changed from black and orange to red and white. A few steady beeps could be heard from the rooms. This was definitely it. I rapped my knuckles on the first door with a medical symbol. It swung open, revealing a man in white pants and a white shirt with a red stripe going down it. The man looked to be about twenty or so, and had a clipboards he was staring at in his hands. He quickly said,

"What is it? Who's hurt?" He never looked up from his clipboard. I said,

"You know the hypocritical oath?" He glanced up from his clipboard, his eyes going wide at the sight of the two ponies behind me.

"Of course, but... they're not injured."

"How do you know? How much studying have you done?"

"None, I have no idea how to help them."

"The pink one just needs to lay down for a minute. Can you at least give her a bed?"

"But she might-"

"What? Attack you? It's a cartoon pony. That's all pink. They don't even have hands. Don't tell me you're afraid of cartoons."

"Uh, well, I guess if she really needs it..." I motioned for Pinkie Pie to go into the room. The man asked a few questions about how she felt, and pointed her to a bed. I left the room and went back down the halls. Surely this distraction must have confused the people watching. They'll be afraid. They won't know what to do. I bet just to be safe, they're going to send a couple of guards to watch her. They can't attack her, not when she's being held by a medic. It'll leave them more disorganized. I walked past a storage closet, and I shoved both Twilight and myself into it. I pulled my laptop off my back, and booted it up. Let's just log onto the 'closed-circuit' camera network, launch a PDOS, and edit the video feed a bit to make it look like I'm in many places at once. I set a two minute timer, then started it. I closed my laptop and walked out of the closet. I made my way to the engineer room. The people watching us are probably starting to calm down, thinking that their original idea was right. Oh, how wrong they are. I counted down, they should be seeing me everywhere right about... now.

Chapter 32: I need a miracle

Chapter 32: I need a miracle

I held my laptop in my arms as I walked down the hall. On the screen was multiple blue lines dashing across the screen. To most, those lines would be nothing more than gibberish. But it was simple really. I couldn't hear what they said over the radios, but I could measure how much network traffic there was. And it was clear that they were panicking. The blue lines zig-zagged up and down the screen, showing all the channels being sent through radio waves around me. I smirked and headed toward the engine room. Twilight was walking backwards, looking out for anything following us. I could guards stomping through the halls above and below us. They did just as I planned. I knew they wouldn't go through this hall, not when there's no 'official' route. I crouched down near a ventilation shaft opening, and ripped off the cover. This is so cheesy, nobody would ever think of it. I mean, seriously, almost every spy movie ever has done this. I could squeeze through the vents, with my thin body type. Twilight, on the other hand, couldn't. She wouldn't be safe out here. I told her,

"You can return to your friends. Just teleport home." She understood the impasse, and disappeared in a flash of purple. I took a deep breath in, and exhaled. Looks like I'm doing the rest of this mission solo. I got down on my arms and crawled into the vent. My elbows scrapped against the vent's metal walls and sections that got welded and bolted together. It stung as I crawled through. There was at least a cool breeze going through it. A soft whirring sound could be heard, most likely from a nearby fan. I came across a fork in the vent. I didn't know which way to turn. I reached my arm into my pocket, and pulled out my phone.

"Chuck, send an echo wave out for for directions and record the results." I told him.

"Got it." Two low beeps sounded, and two bars grew on a graph on my phone. The bars showed how far the echo went. On the left way, the end was only about ten feet out. Must be a dead end. The right way returned a distorted sound wave that I couldn't decipher. If I had to guess, I would say that there's a vent covering at the end of the right way making the echo bounce off in unpredictable ways. Right way it is. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and continued to crawl back down. I  heard muffled chatter from the rooms around me. The metal vents felt like ice on my skin. I must’ve travel about fifty feet or so, until I reached a vent opening. This reminds of Deus Ex: Human Revolution so much. I pushed the vent out, it was bolted down. I felt around the corners of it, looking for a loose part. The top right screw was a little loose, so I put all my strength into making that screw move. I kept on twisting and pushing, and it snapped off. I continued to push on the free corner, until the force snapped off the other screws. I the cover slide a few feet into the room. I poked my head out. The room was clear, and it looked like some kind of server room. There were rack-mounted servers dotting the walls. This must be the main server room. The soft whir of computer fans filled the silence. I pushed myself out of the vent and went down the row. The main engine room shouldn’t be too far from here. I turned a corner, and bumped into someone. We both fell backwards. I scrambled back upwards, ready to knock him out with a snap to the neck. He looked to be about eighteen or so, and fairly weak. A pen was resting on top of his ear and a clipboard was in his hand. He wasn’t wearing a uniform, just business casual clothes.

“Wait wait! Not the face!” He said as his hands waved in front of his face. He looked away from me. I put my fist down, he’s not worth it. I turned away and walked down the row. The guy ran up to me as I walked away. “Who are you?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“B-but please! I promise not to tell!”

“Kid, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.”

“I know! You just seem so... familiar.”

“I’m nobody. Maybe one of the last good humans there are.”

“Wait, misanthropic, introverted, trying to save Equestria, you’re not... dylansl?” My hands tensed at hearing that name. How did he know? I’m a ghost. No one knows me. There are only rumors of me, and those are usually only known in small hacker groups.

“That depends on who’s asking. For you, the answer is no.”

“Bu-but I’ve always wanted to meet you!” A fanboy? Never thought I would ever have those.

“And you just did. I have a mission to do, now go away before about thirty thousand pounds of metal gets rained down onto a city full of living animals.”

“I can help! Please! I never liked the idea of killing. I’m only here to keep the network intact. Not once have I ever touched a gun.”

“Point me the right way toward the engine room and don’t tell anyone.”

“Just head down to the right, the next door holds the control panels for the engines. though you need a cardkey to get in-”

“I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.” I went through the door out after I said that last sentence. If he knows who I am, I need to cover my tracks a bit better. Maybe switch pseudonyms. That last thing I want is an army of fanboys following me around. I walked down the right side of the hall. It was only maybe five or four yards until I came across a door that held a bright yellow sign with the words, ‘ENGINE ROOM’ on it.

I put my ear to the door. I could hear the guns being loaded and charged. Along with disorganized running. They’re still getting ready. I need to strike now. I reached into my pockets, pulling out the three makeshift smoke bombs. I held them between my fingers on my right hand. One between each finger, with the exception of my thumb. I put my hand behind me, positioning it in such a way that makes it easy to snap it forward. My left hand rested on the icy doorknob. I slowed down my breathing, time seemingly slowed down as a result. One wrong step, and it would be all over. I raised my right hand, and threw down a bomb. Yellow smoke exploded into the air. I turned the doorknob and threw the door open. In one swift motion, I smashed another bomb onto the floor in the middle of the room.I ducked back behind a wall as gunfire burst into the room. The steel walls should be bullet proof, in order to prevent air from escaping. The wall became dotted in dents as bullets rained down on it. I juked left, facing the door, then rolled in the room. The gunfire died down to about three guns, the rest must be reloading.

No one could see anything. The best I could do is guess where the control panel might be. Since there was still gunfire, I was crouched down. My hands felt around in front of me. I felt something inclined, and covered in buttons. This must be it. My fist slammed on the buttons. An alarm went off.

“Attention all personnel, the main ion reactor is over heating. No current solutions available. abandoning ship is advisable,” a male synthetic computer voice loudly said over the blaring alarm. Heh, stupid A.I.s. I knew exactly how to stop it. The alarm screeched, and smoke still filled most of the room, but I could still see people running out as the smoke cleared. I looked around on the terminal controlling the engines. A U.S.B port was on the side. I dug my flash drive out of one of my pockets, then jammed it into the port. My personal network tunneler hack loaded into the system. I gained remote access to the cameras and information center. I looked through various cameras. People were rushing through the halls and being trampled on. The took escape pods and parachutes to the the the ground. The heat in the ion drives to rose to dangerous levels. I should stop that. My hands dashed across the keyboard as my eyes were glued to the screen. The red bar kept growing. The bar represented the heat in the ion drives. If it crossed the yellow line near the top of the screen, the ship would explode, And the debris would surely destroy Manehatten.

My hands clicked the keys all over the keyboard at speeds that few could do. A closed fist went sailing toward my jaw. I flew to the left, and skidding on the ground. I scrambled back, grabbing my makeshift neuroparalyzer squirtgun. A foot stepped from out of the smoke, and I squeezed the handle, causing a small stream of green liquid to shoot out. It struck the leg, but didn’t do anything. The rest of the man became visible as the smoke cleared.

“Heh,” the man chuckled as the harmless liquid dripped off his leg. “You got to do better than that.” He hunched over, and charged at me. His arms were outstretched. He looked to be about thirty or so, and well-built. There’s no way I could beat him in a fair fist fight. I examined my surroundings, nothing more than a square room with a terminal on a wall. My eyes darted to the screen, the bar creeped closer and closer to critical levels. It was clear that the man didn’t want me to get any closer to it. Oh, fuck my life. I ducked, and used the guy’s momentum against him. My hands grabbed onto his torso, and I pushed him over me as he ran into me. He soared overhead, missing me.

He did a half spin, and shot a fist at my stomach. I doulbed over on the floor. He kicked me in the shin. “How pitiful,” were the words he said. I tried to do a sweep kick, but his strong legs didn’t budge when I made contact. I coughed, and said,

“Hey buddy, fuck you.” He reached down, and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. His arms pulled me up, until we were face to face. My legs dangled in the air. Breathing was hard.

“Say that again, and I’ll rip that smug mouth of yours off.”

“Fuck. You.” His eyes showed extreme anger. His left fist smashed into my jaw. Then he ran me into a wall. My lip was bleeding, and my left eye was in a lot of pain.  My right hand secretly reached for my last smoke bomb. “Fuck... you...” he kept on smashing his fist into my face. I really need to stop getting beat up, it can’t be good for my face. There was a pause in the punches, as he reeled back to hit me even harder. I covered my face with my right hand, the smoke bomb nested in my palm. His fist dashed forward, hitting my hand. The bomb exploded, and he was blinded. I poured out my neuroparalyzer juice into his eyes in the confusion.

He screamed with rage as he covered his eyes. At least the chemical compound stung like a bitch. He spun toward me, his eyes red and a look of blood rage imprinted on his face. He did a roundhouse kick to my head, I dodged just in time, but he did an uppercut to my jaw, followed by a flurry of rabbit punches to my head. I became stunned, and he kicked me in the chest. I flew backwards a few yards. I’m sure he must have broken a rib bone with that. I cluchted my chest in pain. A trail of blood poured out of my mouth. I wiped it ouff and stood back up.

“You idiot. Can’t you see that this ship’s going to blow? I’m trying to stop that! Let me fix it. I just need to get to the console over there,” I told the man.

“Ha! You’re the one who made it do that. I’m not going to trust you to turn it down. We’re all gonna die. And I’m bringing you with me, hacker scum.” He dived at me, hitting me in my chest.

“Oof!” He got me in a headlock, pounding his fists into my skull. He then slammed his foot into my left leg, causing it to flood my body with pain. My leg bent in a odd way, that told me it was broken. Then, a female voice, that I recognised as Cortez said,

“Hands off the nerd!” With the small amount of energy I had left, I turned my head over to the door. Cortez stood there, with a pistol in her hands. The guy let go of me, and I stumbled away. The best I could do was limp. The man picked up an assault rifle from the ground in one swift motion. They aimed their guns at each other. It was a stand off. Cortez said,

“How about a fair fight? You put the handgun down, and I will also.”

“I agree,” said the attacker. I started limping over to the terminal, but the man pointed his weapon at me. “Move, and your brain will be all over the wall.” This isnt good. I need to stop the ion drives from overheating. I quietly told chuck,

“Chuck, estimate until how long it will be until the ion drives go critical.”

“You have about three minutes and four seconds before we turn into grilled paste,” Chuck told me. Cortez charged at the guy. He punched her, but cortez dodged to the right, followed by a sweep kick. Like lightning, the guy jumped backwards, and completely avoided the kick.

“Not bad,” Cortez said, “what can I call you?”

“Shark,” was the reply. Oh great, a cheesy pseudonym. Chuck said to me,

“Dude, the engines gonna blow in less than two minutes.” Cortez rolled forward, and Shark dived past her. They both turned and did high kicks. Their legs were locked in a power struggle. Cortez twisted her standing leg, and spun around, using the foot she had in the air as a pivot point. She kicked Shark with her other foot. She then jumped off his chest and landed on two feet. Shark stumbled backwards. I yelled at Cortez,

“Hurry! The engines are about to blow! Knock him out already!” The two exchanged blows and very hits were made. They were both fast. I was in no condition to fight.

“Oof, you want to fight this guy?” Cortez yelled back at me.

“Nah brah, I’m good.” I replied. Movie-like fight moves were done at extreme speed. They did various spins and jumps that I could never pull off. The moves were effective, maybe a bit flashy, but still hard to pull off. The time we had left before the ship blew, was approaching quickly. The fight looks like a stalemate. This won’t end well. I need a miracle. No, I need a lot more than a miracle.

Chapter 33: The battle part 2

I’m not one to get nervous, but if I was, I probably would be soaked with sweat. Mere seconds left before we all blow up, and a large population of the ponies as well. This fight was going nowhere. I need to change tactics. I told Cortez,

“You need to get him out of the room!” They were both locked in an intense fist fight. Cortez’s quicker moves and higher flexibility are offset by Shark's longer reach and stronger attacks. With the amount of time it would take me to cool down the engines, I need to start the procedures before twenty seconds of them exploding. Cortez kept trying to kick Shark out of the room, but to no avail. The timer on my phone kept clicking down, thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight...

The room got noticeably hotter as the seconds past. My eyes were glued to the timer on my phone, twenty-two, twenty-one, twenty, nineteen. That’s it. It’s all over.

“Cortez! Forget trying to stop the ship, just save yourself!” I told her. I wouldn’t make it, not with my broken leg.

“But your leg-” Cortez said.

“I’ll be fine. Just go.” She nodded, and left. Shark got the memo also, and ran out. The timer on my phone continued to go down. twelve, eleven, ten, nine... two, one. BEEP BEEP I closed my eyes, wishing for the pain to end. So close, just so close to winning. No miracle this time. Nobody to save me. No unbelievable event to save me. I really am going to die here. Odd, I shouldn’t even be thinking right now. I should be dead. I opened my eyes, the room was still there. The alarm was still sounding. Why didn’t the engines blow? I limped over to the terminal, watching the screen. It displayed graphs and blueprints of the now blown-up engines. So, they are destroyed. Then why are we still floating? And why didn’t I get vaporized? The only ion drives available explode when there’s too much heat. Unless... these aren't true ion drives. No, they are real ion drives. Something happened to them, that made them change. Let me think. Radion by speeds higher than light and splitting of atoms often have a high and semi-random effect on ion power sources. Could it be that the ion drives were only at twenty percent capacity after they went through the MTSC? Wait, I should have noticed this before. The ship traveled way too slow when it was headed for Manehatten. Only about twenty percent of full speed. Of course! Wow. That was close. To think I just sat back and closed me eyes, waiting to die. That’s so unlike me. I guess this is a miracle. But wait, that doesn’t explain how I’m still floating. Or does it. It could be the residue power keeping the turbines going. Just enough to keep it afloat for a few minutes. I should hurry and repair the engines. I leaned on the terminal, and typed away at the keyboard.

I ejected the heat clips, and washed the blast shields. Then I sent a few repair drones to patch up holes and loose circuits. With only me in the whole ship, I couldn’t pilot it for long. Keeping it afloat was hard enough. The only thing I could do was to make it fly a few miles away from Manehatten, then blow it up. Equestria won’t be able to handle this level of tech if they use it. When technology advances before culture, there’s a very disastrous result. The Collectors from Mass Effect Two is a great example. A society without emotion. I couldn't let that happen. I wonder what's happening to the ground troops. They didn't have any weapons. Unimportant for right now, I set a course for twenty miles away from Manehatten then I set it to self-destruct when it finishes that command. Based on the height this ship is off the ground, there would be minor fire burns on the grass. thats Good enough. I hit confirm, and took my flash drive out. I then shoved it back into my pocket, and casually limped out the best I could. I put my phone to my ear, and called Bentley.

“Bentley, I need a ride down,” I told him when he picked up.

“Kay,” was his only response. I disappeared in a flash of purple and reappeared next to the Mane Six. I landed on my leg just the wrong way, and doubled over on the grass in pain. The ponies gathered around me, Fluttershy the closest.

“Are... are you o-okay?” Fluttershy asked me. I sat up, putting as much pain away from my leg as possible.

“My left leg is probably broken, along with a black eye. So, to answer your question, I’m doing just dandy. Don’t worry the ship will leave this place, and never retur-” My talking was cut off by the cries of many men screaming. I turned around, watching every female pony there was in the army chasing after the humans. When a pony got a human in their grasp, they attempted to rape them. What. The. Fuck. It seemed like all the mares were in a lust, losing all thought just to get a mate. Why...? I don’t even... WHY?! The humans were clearly terrified, as they ran for their lives. Uh, I guess the expression, make love not war is about as literal is it gets here. I turned my head to Twilight.

“What the fuck is going on? Why are they all getting raped?” I asked her.

“Uh, well, it’s mating season right now. We’re trying really hard not to pounce on you, we probably are only not doing it because you’re already in so much pain. Out of nowhere, Rarity screamed,

“That’s it! I can’t take it any longer! I need a mate!” Then she took off in a dash behind me, running after the escaping humans.

“As I was saying,” Twilight continued, “I have the mental capacity to push past this urge. Fluttershy wouldn’t dare hurt you like this. Applejack will never give in, you how hard she works, and this is nothing compared to everyday. I think Pinkie Pie just forgets. Rainbow acts like she’s in mating season all the time, this is no different than any other day for her. And Rarity, as you can see, doesn’t have much willpower.” Bentley said, with a twinge of sadness,

“Rarity wouldn’t even touch me, she called me pyro trash.”

"Not surprised." I replied. It's over then. The humans will eventually get teleported back. All the weapons and vehicles they had are destroyed. I guess I can finally rest. It's been so long. I laid down on the soft grass, and closed my eyes. My pain faded away as I quickly drifted into sleep. After all that, I was really tired. I don't think I've slept in two days.

Something nudged my shoulder. I whispered,

"Go away, I'm too tired to get up." Then I had a sudden realization that I fell asleep. I sat upwards in a quick motion, but a pain shot through my left leg. An eye-patch covered my left eye. How odd. What happened? Oh yeah, I saved Equestria and got beat up badly. A hoof nudged my right shoulder again. I turned my head to see the pony doing it. Altough I couldn't see. It was far too dark. The only light was from the moon, which told me it was near four A.M. I could make our a silloutte, it was a pony. Average height. Had wings also. The unknown pony said in an evil, cold voice,

"You're no hero. I'm here to prove that. But, I'm not without fairness. I shall give you one month to recover, than we shall fight. The loser will not walk away." As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, the figure vanished like a shadow. It was like he was never there. I had no clue who that was. And where even am I? I felt a soft, but small, bed below me. By now, I could basic shapes and colors in my right eye. I could make out the room just enough to see where I was. It looked to be Fluttershy's cottage. I needed sleep, but after the death threat, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Eventually, hours later, I lost the ability to stay awake any longer and dozed off.

Chapter 34: Aftermath

August 11--  around 8 A.M.

A stream of light shone through the blinds, coating my eyes in sunlight. I closed my eyes tighter, then slowly opened them. My ankles hung over the end of the bed I was in. My thoughts flashed to the moment last night. How odd. I wonder if that was even a real event, it could just have been a dream. But, I'm not one to accept things as just dreams. I will keep what I remember etched in the forefront of my mind. I started to shift out of the bed, but I was quickly stopped by the stinging pain in my left leg. I forgot about that. I can still limp, I started to push my left leg as Bentley as I could off the bed. Fluttershy opened the door ever so slightly.

"Oh good, you're awake. I made you some food that I think humans like... please tell me if it's any good. I can make something else if you don't like it..." Fluttershy quietly said to me in her usual shy demeanor. I'm still amazed that her need to care for people is overruling her fear of aliens. But even so, I can see the minor twitches of her fear. I'm very perceptive of the smallest details. She carried a tray of food. The tray was pink, a simple yet well-built design, and decorated with a variety of food that humans can eat. I'm glad I'm a omnivore. Eating plants will come in handy here. Everything on the tray had cell walls and chloroplasts. Or, for those less scientific, everything on the tray belonged to the plant kingdom. I guess when you live in a world where the dominant species are herbivorous, animals aren't food. If I had to guess, Fluttershy compared me to a monkey, based on the food selection. Bananas and other fresh fruit were the most common editable items. A few carrots, but mainly fruit. Oh yeah, I just thought of something to brain screw Fluttershy with. Don't worry, she won't be hurt.

"Hey Fluttershy," I greeted her with.

"Good morning Neon," Fluttershy replied.

"Is that yellow curved thing known as a banana a fruit or a herb?"

"Uh... I think it's a fruit. But it can be a herb of you want..." Well, she ruined that idea. I mean, I can't just disregard all science just because I want to! Let me try something else. And for those of you wondering what a banana really is, it's both.

"Did you compare me with a monkey to find out what food I might be able to eat?"

"Well, they were the closest animal I could find... I'm sorry if it wasn't good enough..."

"No no, you're fine. It's just, humans are nowhere close to monkeys. Homo Sapiens share ninety nine percent of their DNA with chimpanzees. The tails are a dead giveaway as to why monkeys aren't very close."

"Oh, that's good to know. Please, eat. You need your strength." I nodded, and put the tray of food over my chest. I never cared for fresh food. I eat very little, eating always took too much valuable time. The very little food I ate was usually American food, such as hamburgers and bacon. I put my right hand onto a green apple. I took a bite out of the freshly picked fruit, feeling the sour liquid roll down my tongue. I believe this must be a hybrid of Malus domestica and Malus sylvestris. Or, better known as, Granny Smith apples. It was okay, I never really cared for sour food. After I took a bite, I put the apple back down. I can eat on the way. I can't just lay in bed all day. I should turn into a pony before I start getting attacked, Equestria is probably leery about humans... despite that fact that the humans just got unwillingly raped. By now, the general has most likely realized that the war is lost. He's probably sending home the troops by backwards teleporting them. I bet they're already all gone. I put the tray of food on a nearby night stand. I sat up, trying to avoid moving my broken leg. I then slowly pushed my legs off the side. Fluttershy put her fore hooves on my shoulder.

"Please don't move, you need to rest." Fluttershy softly said, in an attempt to stop me. If I had emotion, she might have stopped me. But right now, I'm not too happy.

"I have more important things to do. A broken bone won't stop me." I replied. She softly took her hooves off me, and I continued the struggle of getting up. Fluttershy's a pegasus, she weighs very little with her hollow bones. She couldn't help me move. I put my hand against the wall wooden wall in an attempt to stabilize myself. Once I got my balance, I limped out the bedroom door. I felt something strapped to my left leg, I looked down to find a wooden splint wrapped around it. How nice of Flutters. Bentley laid on the couch, snoring. I limped over to him. If I could, I would've flipped over the couch. But I couldn't. So instead, I said to him,

"Bentley, wake up. Help me over to the MTSC do we don't get attacked as humans."

"Yeah yeah, fine." He responded with. He pushed himself out of the couch. I put an arm around him, and we walked out. It was quiet in Ponyville. I bet most of the stallions are hiding, and the mares have traveled over to Manehatten. The male population in that city is much higher than here. I bet Manehatten looks like it's going through a zombie apocalypse right now. I quickly arrived at Twilight's tree, then I rapped my knuckles on the door. My head stood about a foot above the top of the door. Spike opened the door, as always, but grew wide-eyed and ran back inside with a slam of the door.

"AAAAAAALIEEEEEEEEENNNNNS! TWI SAVE ME!" Spike screamed. Oh yeah, Spike never found out of the invasion. He was here the whole time. He doesn't know of humans. Twilight opened the door again, with Spike grabbing tightly on her neck.

"Hi Neon," Twilight greeted me with. "Spike, this is Neon. He's just a little... sick! He'll be fine soon."

"Right, Twilight, can you send me to my teleporter? I need to visit Earth and it won't be easy to travel there in the condition I'm in." I asked her.

"Yeah, I'll send you there. It's the least I could do after you saved us all." I'm no hero. I don't want people to start treating me as one. I only did what was right. It says in the United States' constitution that those who have the power to stop unjust actions have the responsibility as well, no matter who's against you. When I was born in America, I accepted that pledge. Twilight's horn glowed purple, and a wave of heat flashed over me. Once the light subsided, I found myself inside the dark room the MTSC is housed. Bentley was still holding me up. I'm not sure where the rest of my team is, but it would make sense that they would go back home. I bet they're already back on Earth. I limped into the portal. The transition thing happened yadda yadda, you know what happens. I really don't need to say it anymore, with all the space jumps I do. When I rendered into my living room, I saw Cortez and Jessica playing cards on the floor. Jessica waved at me as she noticed us. Wait, what did Jessica even do? I never even saw her. Oh well, I don't care. What's done is done. I probably can't go to a hospital, too much identification required. I don't even have an I.D. card. Not that I ever needed it, anyway.

"Bentley, you should stay here, on Earth. After what just happened, it would be best to keep the worlds separate." I said to Bentley.

"You're not my mother. I can do what I want." He replied.

"Then go as a pony."

"Deal." He quickly hopped back into the portal. I limped over to the portal, tapped in the coordinates for Ponyville, set it to turn me into a pony, and then I leaned and fell into the portal. I need to take a break from all this fighting. Still, I have to wonder about that strange pony from before. I need to find out his motive. I should investigate, but the first, how did he get into Fluttershy's cottage? I arrived quickly in the center of Ponyville. I wonder if it's even safe to be here, with mating season going on and all. No, the ponies seem to be a lot more caring than humans, they wouldn't touch me if I'm hurt. I should go look for Vinyl, I haven't seen her in a while. As for my ability to walk, it's much easier to get around when three quarters of my legs work, instead of half. I can manage on three hooves. Though, I still can't fight. Heh, all I did to save this race of cartoons. And so few will remember me because of this season. Good thing I don't want to be a hero. After maybe ten minutes or so of walking in an abandoned village, I came across Vinyl's house. My hoof knocked on the door and I waited patiently. Someone opened the door, but they didn't have the stripped blue hair that I expected to see. Octavi opened the door.

"Yes?" She asked me.

"Oh uh, is Vinyl home?" I asked.

"No, unlike the more sophisticated mares, like me, she went to Manehatten for mating." Meh, I'm not surprised. I bet most other people would be angry they're getting cheated on, but I know I'm not. I've done the calculations, and Vinyl only has a four percent chance of getting a stallion, if I cross-reference her personalty and skills with the likelihood of getting a stallion in Manehatten. And there's no way I'm going all the way over to that city. I guess I have some time to kill then.

Chapter 35: Tea time

Chapter 35: Tea time

August 11--  10:26 A.M.

I shifted around uncomfortably on the wooden chair. It was hard getting comfortable with four legs, when one of them is broken. Looks like that dynamic bioupdater I installed worked, not in a good way, though. I guess I should explain what it is. It's a self-adapting biometric bodily changer. Basically, what happens is, when something changes to me in one form, be it human or pony, it copies the change to the other form. A good example would be my leg. I broke it as a human, so when I turned into a pony, the bone structure carried over. Could I reprogram my pony form to have a healed leg? Well, yeah, if I had three years to code all that. Do you have any idea how complex the body is? Very. I used semi-complex algorithm to keep old data that influences new data. Man, I'm such a nerd.

"Hello? Are you still present Neon?" Octavia asked me from across the table. She somehow held a cup of tea, in a very polite and fancy manner. With nothing better to do, I had tea time with Octavia. Don't ask, I was bored.

"Yeah," I responded. I wondered how she looked so refined. Maybe it's the bow tie, or the well-curled eye lashes. Or the nice shade of purple in her eyes. I have no idea. It's just this air of high class she has. She caught me staring, and I avoided her gaze, staring at my teacup. My tea was a light brown, and had minor ripples break through the normally calm liquid each time I adjusted my seat. I don't like tea. But still, I don't want to be rude. I used magic, which I still am pretty bad at, and gently floated the tea towards my mouth. But I derp'd and the tea spilled over. The hot fluid stung my skin as it flowed down me.

"Are you okay?"

"Ow, yeah, this just stings a little."

"I will get a towel." She got up and trotted over to a counter in Vinyl's kitchen. Her eyes searched for a clean towel, but only found an old, stained rag. She took it in her mouth, unwillignly, and brought it over to me. I grabbed it with my teeth and wiped the tea off my legs. Octavia sat back down and tried to start a conversation,

"So, how's it like being with Vinyl? You two seem like opposites."

"Opposites attract."

"Only for magnets, and they make as much sense as your pink friend who throws all the parties." They have magnets on Equestria? So it seems this planet has an iron core like the one on Earth. Or at least some kind of magnetic material. That reminds me, I havn't had the chance to study this planet much. I should get around to that, there's so much to learn. But for right now, I have to be nice to my fillyfriend's best friend. Wait, that hypocrite!

"What do you mean only in magnets! You and Vinyl are perfect examples of that."

"It's true we have our musical differences, but when we play music at the same time, it turns out beautiful." I guess that makes sense, kinda like the album by Lincon Park, Hybrid Theory. Sometimes two very different kinds of music can sound good together. And it would get boring when two fancy ponies have a conversation, they wouldn't say much but please and stuff, they just won't get along.

"True, I guess Vinyl keeps it from getting boring around here. Do you have a house?"

"Yes, would you like to see it?" I shrugged.

"Sure." Octavia put her tea down, and gracefully left her seat. I followed her a few feet behind. She seemed to be walking slower so I could keep up. We made tidbits of conversation here and there until we reached her house. We came upon a rather high class mansion, at the edge of Ponyville. It was adorned with decorative windows and doors. "Where did you get the money to get this?"

"I'm a rather famous cellist, and my parents used to own this before they... passed on." I'm not going to ask questions about her parents. Not with that awkward pause she threw in that sentence. She lightly pushed open the doors, and stepped on the marble floor. The floor was cold against my hooves, and very shiny. I could see myself clearly in the floor. My bright green colors seem to pop off the floor. I looked around the room, it appeared to be the foyer. Well-jeweled vases and pictures lined tables and walls.

"It's a rather large house, do you ever get lost?"

"Sometimes. I don't really explore it that much." We continued down the hall. All the light is starting to blind me.

"So, how'd you get your cutiemark?"

"Oh, now that is an interesting story. Come now, let's find a table to discuss it over." She went through a few doors and many fancy hallways that were lined with long purple rugs that were outlined with gold colored cloth. After about three minutes of walking, we came across the kitchen. It seemed pretty standard. There was a small white marble table in the center. Octavia took a seat, and I limped into the one across the table.

"So, tell me the story."

"I was a filly, playing around in this very house. My parents watched over me. One of my favorite rooms was the music room. It's just that sweet sound of soft music that I loved so much. When I stumbled upon the cello, it looked huge. I couldn't even reach it. Aw, those old memories...

I remember those days, I was quite bad. But it was still fun to play."

"Heh."

"I remember this one time where I took a bite out of my cello becuase I just found out I was playing in the Gala. I was so excited, I couldn't control myself."

"I can imagine that."

"What about your cutie-oh, you're a blank-flank. How interesting. Can you share some of your past?" Emotion drained from my face as I thought about my past. No, never again.

"I don't look back on the past. Too many bad memories."

"If it would help to talk about it, I would certainly lend you some time."

"I'm fine," I said rather coldly.

"Okay, as long as you're fine and not hurt." No human would ever say that. It's kinda nice being able to go to Equestria, to escape the confines of greedy humans. Think about greed and being selfish. They are from the natural self-preservation instinct, survival of the fittest. Long ago, we needed to grab more to eat because we did not know when the next meal would walk by the cave for us to kill and catch. Then it became wars or weather changes causing drought or locusts so we had to store up enough food just in case. Overall a very wise way of living to survive in times of hardship. In our modern world, we have adapted this otherwise good drive to grow and protect our family in the case of turning events into a lust for more and more. It's so strange. One of our greatest strengths as individuals, is our greatest weakness as a society.

Octavia and I continued to talk about various things, for an hour or so. I wonder if she even knew of my saving Equestira. News doesn't travel that fast in a world without Internet. It's possible unhurt towns don't know of it. Wait... Ohhhh I get it now. There's a reason they have a mail system. In the old days, pre-1830, there weren't trains or telegraphs. To get news around, they used horse riders. I think a popular one was called the Pony Express. See what I'm getting at? Uh, I think that's just a coincidence. Still, pretty cool when I think about it. Meh, enough history.

"It has been fun, Neon, but I believe now would be a good time to retrieve Ms. Scratch from the city of Manehatten, she's likely to be drunk and unconscious," Octavia abruptly told me, breaking an awkward silence.

"Yeah, I guess we could. The silence is so strange. And the ground's not shaking," I chuckled after the last part. Octavia politely joined in the laugh.

"I shall call a taxi." She trotted out of the room, with me slowly limping behind her. We found ourselves outside soon. Wait, I seem to remember it taking longer to get here. Shortcut? Maybe. The taxi was like a pioneer wagon, but a lot more fancy. Two large ponies were carrying the front. This has got to be the most ironic thing ever.

Chapter 36: The training begins

Chapter 36: The training begins

While I wouldn't mind seeing Vinyl, I'm not sure what she'd be like during mating season. And Octavia doesn't look like she can handle herself much longer. Also, I don't particularly feel too comfortable being carried by other ponies. It just feels wrong, when I'm a pony also.

"On second thought, I think I'd rather stay here. You can go get her," I said to Octavia as she climbed in.

"Fair well then, Mr. Blaze," she responded as she drove away. She looked disappointed. I wasn't sure if it was from not being able to converse with me anymore, or that her plan to rape me failed. I bet the latter. I should go visit Twilight, I need mental simulation. She should be home, studying magic. That's all she ever does. I did my best to limp over to that tree she lives in. Why does she live in a tree anyway? Oh yeah, I don't give a fuck about living arrangements for cartoon ponies. Well, that solves that problem. Wait, I just thought of something. When I'm a pony, people call me Neon. When I'm human, people call me Dylan. I wonder just how many people know that Neon and Dylan are the same soul, different bodies.

Twilight's tree came into view as I walked past one of the nearby houses. It's like a game of fallout 3, I act all nice and stuff, then go into their house and rob them blind. Except I do the opposite. I act unfriendly, and don't steal from them. I really need to stop comparing myself to video games. I get bad ideas enough already. Like that one time I tried to generate a real life creeper. One hiss, and there went my prototype matter generator. And that other time I tried to make a diamond sword. The friggin thing broke in half after one swing. Did you know there's a lot more diamond than you think? Some company's been stockpiling them. And they're not even the hardest thing on Earth. My dick- I mean, hyperdiamond is. It's a real thing. Look it up. Although, to be fair, diamond is hardest natural mineral. But come on, who cares about the word natural in diamond advertisements? Oh yeah, and do you remember how to tell a real diamond from a fake? If so, get off my Internet and go back to that rock you live under. We can create fake diamonds in twenty hours that are indistinguishable from real diamonds. Gotta love science.

*BANG*

Ow, fuck! I slammed into Twilight's door, not paying any attention to the real world. I wobbled on my good hooves, and rubbed my head. I really need to stop doing that. The door squeaked open, and Spike stood between me and the wooden floor.

"Uh, you can use your hoof to knock," he greeted me with. I growled and glared at him and he dashed back inside. I walked inside and closed the door behind me. Twilight was at her desk in the main room, reading and scribbling down detailed notes. Her jumbled hair told me that she hadn't left the house yet. She tapped her chin as she thought about new magic spells. I examined the room, she seemed like she was hiding something. Her hair usually is straight and well-maintained, and there's no way she didn't notice me. I have to wonder. My eyes scanned the books, looking for things out of the ordinary.

"Twilight," I asked her, "I know you've noticed me. What are you hiding? These books on the shelf seem strange. You wouldn't mind if I looked through them?" I started walking over to the bookshelf.

"No! I mean, that wouldn't be a good idea," Twilight said in an attempt to get me to stop. I heard a slow breathing from behind the books. I pulled a think book off, revealing Colby's head.

"Uh, good to see you..." Colby said. Then a section of books, a few sections away from me, exploded into the air, with Pinkie Pie in the air. She landed with a bounce.

"Hiya! We haven't seen Colby since chapter 21! Oh yeah, and I love this story! Keep writing more, please!"

"Pinkie!" Twilight screamed, ignoring her story comment. "Where did you come from?!"

"Uh, I forgot," was her response. I put the book back, covering Colby's face, and said,

"Pinkie, I'm not in the mood for your games right now."

"But party! We should party!"

"Have you forgotten that there's very few ponies here?"

"There's more than one! And that's good enough!"

"You're bubbly extroverted nature is very antagonizing to me. Now, stop disobeying gravity and leave." Pinkie pie was standing upside down on the ceiling. Strange, I don't remember her doing that.

"Oops, I forgot all about gravity! Don't worry, I'll fix this. Oof!” She fell to the floor with a thump. “Now, party!” She pulled a party cannon out of nowhere, and started shooting party decorations all over Twilight’s house. Twilight seems busy with her studying, Spike might join Pinkie, I won’t. That makes it a party for two. A DJ station shot out of the cannon, and Pinkie Pie pulled Vinyl out from behind it. “I keep emergency DJs stashed all over the place in case of DJ emergency!” I’m not even going to attempt to understand how she did that. Loud music started playing, and Twilight left her desk to walk upstairs. I started to follow after her, until Pinkie Pie jumped in front of me

“Move, I don’t want to party,” I told her in the most serious tone I could use.

“Now now, no need to be a mister grumpy-face! Come on, let’s dance!” Pinkie shouted at me over the pounding music.

“In case you haven’t noticed, my leg is broken, I can’t dance.”

“Then we could have an eating contest and-”

“Go bother Spike, I don’t feel like partying.” I then limped around her, going up the stairs also. Pinkie followed after, until I slammed the door in her face. The music started to die out as I got farther from it. It seems that trees are very noise insulated. Or at least whatever this tree is made of. Looks like wood, but there’s such a small chance of it being the exact same as on Earth. I knocked on the door Twilight went though, and she said,

“Come in.” I pushed open the door and noticed that she was reading and taking notes, like before. She looked up at me. “Need anything?”

“Yeah, there was... somepony that woke me up in the middle of the night, while I was at Fluttershy’s. But, I don’t know who. It was just a shadow, I couldn’t see anything. He said I wasn’t a hero, and he was going to prove that. But, he was fair about it, he gave me a month to recover. All I could tell was that he had wings, and cold voice. Do you have any clue about this?” The color from Twilight’s face drained slightly.

“We need to report this to the princess. You could be in danger and-”

“I can handle myself. And I’ve seen too many movies to know that royal guards won’t be enough. I need you to train in magic, so I can defend myself.”

“You won’t be able to learn much in a month, and the royal guards-”

"Are just for show. Think about it, Celestia is one of the most powerful creatures in Equestria. If she can’t handle something, her guards can’t either. She doesn’t need guards to protect her. And try me, I’m a quick learner.”

“I’m not a teacher, I don’t know how to teach you anything more advanced than basic levitation.”

“Excuses excuses.”

“I guess I could at least try...”

“Good, how hard would magic body armor be?”

“It’s a high-level spell, it takes a lot of concentration to keep it perfectly around you.” So I did a failed version of that spell out of fear when fighting that manticore.

“What about self-healing?”

“Again, that’s a very advanced spell that’s very dangerous to use if you’re not a trained doctor.”

“Does emotion such as fear and anger affect the spells?”

“In cases of extreme emotion, each feeling has different effects on spells. Anger is the most dangerous and unpredictable. Fear powers up defensive spells, but at the cost of offensive spells. There are other effects of different emotions, but we should spend that time learning spells.”

“Agreed. What about teleportation?”

“That’s a very hard one to learn, it’s pretty far down on the magic tree. But, once you do learn it, you can do a lot with it.”

“Magic tree?”

“Yes, magic is separated in branches. The trunk would be levitation. Then it branches off in three ways: Physical, mental, and nature. There might be more, Celestia keeps the rest of the branches locked away, no one else but her and maybe Luna knows them. She says they're, 'too dangerous'. The most I could get out of her was that one of them is called, blood magic. Each new spell can unlock another branch. Let’s use teleportation as an example. There’s a spell that lets you teleport other objects, but to learn that spell, you need to learn how to teleport yourself first. Understand?”

“Yeah, this is very close to a lot of RPG games.”

“Are pee gee games?”

“It stands for role-playing games. It involves acting like someone else, doing some adventure. Nearly all of them have some form of upgrading the character. Some have the upgrade tiers, which are the the same thing as the magic tree.”

“Interesting. I don’t quite get it though.”

“It happens in a virtual world, in a video game.”

“Like the school children play on those arcade things?”

“Yes, but this is getting off-topic. I need to be able to protect myself. What’s a good spell for that?”

“It depends on your personalty. Which branch would you think you’d be best at?”

“I like to combine things like that if I can. What is a good spell that combines physical and mental?”

“Well, there’s the invisible spell, that fools your target into not seeing you. It’s an eye trick, but it also requires you change your skin a bit for the spell. Don’t worry, your skin goes back to normal when the spell ends. But, that’s an advanced spell. I need to look through my books for simpler spells. Try to meditate and bring out your magic aura.” I closed my eyes, and tried to focus on the magic that flows through my horn. I could feel a slight increase of heat in the air around my horn as I collected my magic.

Outside Twilight’s tree, on the roof of a nearby building. That strange pony from before is turned invisible, and is also spying on Neon. He can see other unicorns magical aura. Twilight gave off a large purple could of it, but Neon, his magic is... different. The mysterious pony couldn’t put his hoof on how his magic was different. It wasn’t even that powerful, just not like anything he’d ever encountered before.

“What exactly are you...” The strange pony said to himself. “This could go bad if I don’t do something sooner.” He then became visible again, and teleported in a flash of black and blue.

Chapter 38: RUN!

"I can't even begin to imagine this. These aren't real, right?" Twilight asked me.

"As once said by a famous human, 'intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death'." I told her.

"A human didn't say that, Albert Hoofinstein did. He was a very famous scientist that-"

"Twilight?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up, please. All these copies from Earth to Equestria is annoying."

"Uh, I think you mean, ‘are’.”

“Go be a Grammar Nazi somewhere else.”

“Right, so, back to the point, these are holograms, right?" I looked over the machine again. I was human, Twilight was also, and we were in my living room examining a holographic projector I sto- I mean, 'found'. Various holograms of Neon were dotted around the room. Chuck was animating them, making them look real. They were still horribly deformed and moved around awkwardly.

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"This is very interesting. I haven't seen any like this before. Why do you have it?"

"I wanted to re-enact scenes from Star Wars."

"Star... Wars...?"

"Eh, it's a popular sci-fi series. I'll show you it later. So, I need to find out a way to make it project multiple versions of Neon, while at the same the projector being hidden from view. So far, the current holograms need some work."

"Why do you refer to your pony name as someone else?"

"What?"

"You said Neon, not yourself. You treat your pony name like it's someone else's."

"Neon is just a different form of me. I sometimes don't feel like I'm Neon, because of the difference between us.  We’re the same mind, I just feel different as him.”

“Interesting, so how exactly does this thing work?”

“It uses optical lasers that form a 3D object.”

“Lasers?”

“You don’t have lasers in Equestria?”

“Not really, what even are they?”

“Okay, right-o then. I don’t have the time to explain this anymore. Just know that it creates illusions.”

“But I really want to know about these lasers.”

“Another time, maybe after I don’t get killed.”

“Fine, I suppose time is of the essence. But, I’m holding it to you.”

“Whatever. Do you think you could make this thing turn invisible?”

“I can’t turn other objects invisible. Actually, I’m still working on that spell.” Let me think... I wonder if we even have to hide it. Twilight had no clue what it was, I could just set it up somewhere, and have the fight in there. I should give a name to that pony. Let’s just call him Fantasma. It’s spanish for something supernatural, like ghosts and ghouls.

I guess we could at least try. I can’t think of a way to hide it. The actual size of the hologram projector is about half a foot wide, and a foot long. It looks like one of those professional lighting cameras used in movies or picture day. There was a USB cord running from the device to my laptop. I played around the settings, such as focus and intensity. Once I got it to just the right setting, I edited the animations. If I could hook up a camera, I could make it copy me.

Now there’s an idea. Twilight continued to examine the projector, curiously fiddling with the various switches and buttons. I headed out of the room, and into the closet. Let’s see... camera, camera, camera... found it. I had a cheap camcorder just lying around on the floor in the closet. I forgot why I even had that. I brought it back to my laptop, and plugged it in.

Let's just run a motion tracking program, and use the output feed as an input to the holographic projector. A hologram of me shot out from the projector. It copied my every move. A did a quick fist pump at my small victory. I turned off the tech, then I carefully stuffed it all into a brown duffle bag. The tech was well organized. I put my fingers on the zipper. Right before I zipped it shut, a human version of Pinkie Pie jumped out of the bag.

"Hiiiiiiiii! What's all this stuff? Is it tasty? Do you have cupcakes here? What about balloons? Do you hav-" Pinkie rapidly said as she sat in the bag.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled as I zipped the bag shut, trapping her inside. I turned to Twilight, and said, "I don't remember bringing her here." Twilight shrugged and said,

"We didn't, but that won't stop her."

"Yeah!" Pinkie yelled from behind me. I fell forward at the sudden scream. "This is sooooooo weird! There are these two fleshy mound things on my chest and I have fingers and I'm all white and I stand on two hooves- no wait I don't have hooves silly I have toes so that means that I stand on two feet!" She gasped for air after finishing that sentence. While saying all that, she played with her almost comedic-sized breast, with the utmost curiosity. I facepalmed at her stupid antics, not even caring how she got behind me. I sighed, and said,

"Okay, Pinkie, we get it. Now, you're not living here. We need to head back to Ponyville."

"Okey-dokey-lokey!" She said as she dived into the portal. Ugh, she gets on my nerves. Maybe it's the gravity defying hair. Meh, I don't care. I threw the bag over my shoulder, and motioned for Twilight to go through the portal. I stepped through the portal, followed by Twilight walking in. As Ponyville rendered in front of me, I saw Twilight's tree was empty, with the exception of me and Twilight, and Spike who was sleeping in a nearby bean bag.

"How's the leg?" Twilight asked me as she noticed me in pony form.

"Much better since you did that spell that speeds up bone realignment. Still kind of hurts, but I can use it somewhat," I replied.

"Good, just don't put too much weight on it until it's fully healed, it's not a perfect spell."

"Noted, now let's set this up somewhere outside." Twilight was carrying the bag with her magic, since I still have noobish magic skills. We headed out the door, the sun was halfway past the horizon. The sky was a fiery red. Then, out of the blue, two white hoofs covered my eyes, along with a female voice saying,

"Guess whoooooo."

"No," I replied, even though I knew who it was. The voice was clearly Vinyl's, only she had that relaxed, upbeat voice.

"Aw, you're no fun," she continued.

"Get off me, my leg still hurts."

"Why? What happened?" She said with renewed concern.

"You don't know?"

"Uh, either that, I forgot." She got off me, and stood next to me.

"Then I'll tell you. I broke my back left leg in a fight."

"Oh, well, I'll make you feel better." She started to reach under me. Her hoof started to rub my stomach, and slowly went lower. I stepped away, and said,

"Yeah, don't do that. You’re still in mating season, and I’d prefer if you didn’t rape me.”

“It’s not rape,” she said as she got closer. I cleared my throat, and said,

“Twilight, please magically escort Vinyl out.” Vinyl pounced, and yelled,

“HE’S MINE!” Right before she tackled me, Twilight stopped her with magic. She floated in the air with a wavy purple bubble. Vinyl continued to bang against the shield, desperate to get me. Twilight then teleported her, to somewhere I don’t know.

“Thanks,” I told Twilight. “How much longer is mating season going to last?”

“Another week,” Twilight replied. Another week, I can live through that. The ground started shaking, I whipped my head around, looking for the source of it. A large cloud of female ponies were charging into Ponyville. Every Single one of them were headed for me. Oh, fuck my life.

“Uh, Twilight...” I said. “I could use some help.” She started to back up.

“Uh, sorry, I don’t think I can stop them.”

“Teleport me!” I turned to look at Twilight, but she was already gone. The crowd was rapidly approaching. “Okay, getting raped is NOT on my to-do list.” I started to run away from the mass rapists. They were fueled by pure lust, there’s no way I could stay away for long.

“Your mine!” Berry Punch yelled as she leaped on top of me. I dashed to the right, narrowly avoiding her. The crowd was mere yards away as I run for my life. They’re like a pack of zombies! I ran into a section of homes, and zig zagged through the streets. The mares behind me were moaning. Am I the ONLY stallion here? I came across a ladder on one of the houses, and climbed up. The mares fought to get on the ladder, which gave me just enough time to pull the ladder on the roof. These thatched roofs are quite stable. Bon-bon started to climb onto the roof. I trotted over and kicked her off. Don’t worry, she landed in a soft pile of female rapists.

Meanwhile, in Pinkie’s kitchen.

I scanned the horizon, looking for something to help. I found Twilight, lying on a bench.

Of course she’s having a mental breakdown. Right when I need her. Something smacked into me from behind. I turned around to see Spitfire. She started to rub against me. I wasn’t that strong, and she was an athlete. Her wings were fully stretched out. I struggled heavily, but to no avail.

“Get off of him!” Someone yelled. Then I got teleported out from under Spitfire. I was teleported to a different roof, a few houses away. I wasn’t the only one on the roof. Another stallion, one thats brown with blue hair, said, “Go down stairs, the doors over there!” He then pointed toward the roof access hatch. I jumped down it, landing on a soft mattress. The other pony jumped down after me and closed the hatch. He was a unicorn.

“*huff* Thanks. I thought I was a goner,” I said. He got up and said,

“No problem, I know how bad it gets during mating season. You can call me Sike.”

“Neon.”

“Okay, let’s head to the rec room and tell the other stallions about you.”

“Other?”

“This is like a safe house for mating season, me and five other stallions are holed up here.” I got up from the mattress. He got up also, and motioned for me to follow him through the hall. I did, and we came across a dimly lit room with five stallions sitting in various chairs. This room looked to be a stallioncave. Or, in human terms, a mancave. Man, talk about a break.

“Who’s the new colt?” A gruff voice said. A purple and green earth pony said that. It almost sounded like an insult. I said,

“Somepony that’s going to buck your flank if you call me a colt again.” He growled and we stared each other down.

“Stop,” said the pony that saved me. I believe he’s the leader. “We don’t need fighting. We will get raped if we do.” I stopped staring at the earth pony. I’m unusually hostile today, must be because I’m on the edge about this mating season thing. This thing never happened on Earth, so I’m completely unprepared.

“So, what now? We just hide in here?” I asked.

“That’s the plan.” Sike replied. I heard a banging sound coming from downstairs. Then the crushing and cracking of wood was heard. “Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good. Bravo team, check out the entry number alpha.” Really? They’re doing this military? They know more than I do at avoiding mares, I guess I should listen. A yellow unicorn and a magenta pegasus got up and went looked down the stairs. Then they nodded and pulled a level. The stairs rose upward, blocking off anything from coming upstarts. They raced back in, and the unicorn said, in a childlike voice,

“There’s a breach in entry level alpha. Sections beta and delta seem untouched.” Is it just me, or does this feel like a game of Call of Duty Nazi zombies?

Chapter 39: Now, we need to wait

I calmly waited for these military wannabes to finish their pointless procedure. I got bored, and got up from the chair. The purple and green earth pony's name is Miad. I heard Sike say it as he asked Miad to guard the south perimeter. It’s pronounced, ‘my-ad’. I went to check in on them, since my current job is alert the others when there's a problem. I walked through the door, and stood in a guest room. Sike and Miad had makeshift binoculars. They leaned on the railings on the balcony.

"Round check complete. No threats detected," Miad said. I rolled my eyes at this ridiculous military jargon. You have no idea how much I wanted to slap all of them. Wanna know why? Okay, let's just see. The military uses jargon because they don't want their enemies to understand what they're doing. And their enemies were usually men of the same race, with the goal of survival. And they were usually armed with dangerous weapons, like nukes and guns. But, we're not fighting dangerous enemies. We're fighting ponies. That don't have hands. That are armed with vaginas. That want sex.

Thinking back on it, I did run for my life from that mare-cloud from before. Maybe getting raped to death is worse than anything ever thought of back on Earth. I should become a military general and give orders to rape people to death.

Back in Queen Chrysalis’ cave.

“This new love thing is so good! I can’t stop eating it!”

Back to the survivors.

"Alert alert! Derpy has broken through the east barricades!" One of the stallions yelled as Derpy accidentally knocked down the wall.

"Hurry, somepony get him!" Sike yelled throughout the house. Miad, who was the secondary lookout for the east wall at the time, said,

"It's too late, his virginity is toast by now. I'm sealing off this room." Miad pulled down a string, and large rocks fell down, blocking the way into the house. I facehoofed, and said,

"Was that really necessary? And when did you have the time to get all those boulders up there?"

"Long story short," Sike told me, "yes, and we've been preparing for weeks."

"So," I continued, "you're telling me that you've spent weeks of your life trying NOT to get laid?"

"You know what happens when they get you? You just saw charlie get wiped out. You gotta remember that when there's dozens of lust-filled mares, they will suck you dry! First, you will pass out from exhaustion. After that, you LOSE YOUR DICK! IT GETS TURNED INTO PASTE!" What a load of crap. You can't turn someone into paste with a vagina. That's not even possible! I want to slap him silly. Where is he getting this scientific bullshit? Is mating season like a horror story told to little colts?

Let's see where we stand. We're one stallion down, good on food and water- *CRASH* And there probably goes one of those three I named. I made my way back into the house, getting closer to where I heard the crash. I entered the room where our food was held, and a large rock had smashed the box of twinkies. White cream was splattered all over the room. Sike came running into the room.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE TWINKIES!” He yelled as she held crushed twinkies in his hoof. He started crying and held the dead sponge cake to his face. “Why do the good ones have to die young!”

“He- I mean it, was never even alive!” I told him. He then rolled around on the floor, crying his eyes out. I facehoofed. He then got up off the floor, wiped the cream off him, and narrowed his eyes. He put on a fierce look, and said,

“This. Is. The. Last. Straw. THOSE MARES ARE GOING DOWN! NO ONE TOUCHES MY TWINKIES!” Are these guys for real!? Sike then went charging out of the room. I chased after him, ready to tackle him. I used my magic, and put a wood two by four in front of his hooves. He tripped, and I tackled him. I grabbed his neck and started shaking him.

“Snap out of it! They’re just food!” I yelled at him. He calmed down, and returned to his leader-like state.

“You’re right,” Sike said, “my life isn’t worth it. We need to move out, our food source is gone.”

“Wait... are you saying that all you had for food is TWINKIES!? We can’t live more than a day off those! They’re just cream and sponge cake!”

“Yes, I know, but damn are they tasty.” I facehoofed again. I think my face is starting to hurt from all this facehoofing. This is just pure ridiculous. How did these stallions last five minutes in mating season? I would just love to leave this place, but going out in a blaze of cartoony pony vaginas doesn’t sound like my ideal way of dying. I need to take charge, we aren’t going to last much longer with this stallion as a leader.

“Okay, we need a change of plans. Since you’re still recovering from emotional breakdown, I will take over for you,” I said.

“Actually, I’m good now. I think I can retur-”*Whack* I hit him in the back of the head. “Mommy?” He then spun around and fell to the floor. A halo of stars danced around his head and his tongue was sticking out. That solves that problem. I called throughout the house for an emergancy meeting. We all piled into the meeting room from before. All the stallions that were left standing were there. The yellow unicorn asked,

“Where’s Sike?” I said,

“He got taken by a surprise ambush. Don’t worry, I sealed the entryway they got in from. And Sike told me I’m the new leader.” Miad jumped up from his seat and yelled,

“What?! There’s no way he told you to be the leader! I’m the second in command!”

“Too bad. Either you obey my orders, or else I’ll throw you outside to fight against the other mares.” I knew he would try and object. I said that to him to instill fear into the other survivors, so they would listen. Miad sat back down, his hooves crossed. Anger showed on his face.

"I found a good place for hiding. Start moving supplies to the location," I said to the others as we looked over a map of Ponyville. My hoof circled around a hotel right outside the city. I made a change of strategy. Their old plan was to have the strongest defense possible. It was clear that plan wouldn't work. Stealth would work better. I've been watching the mares' walking paths. They didn't go near the hotel. The path will be clear in about five minutes. We can't get caught. I've already accounted for food and water, plus anything else we might need. And, if push comes to shove, we can always microwave a hamster. The hamster is the hotel's mascot, most likey still locked up in a cage.

Five minutes later and one bad mare joke later.

"And... go!" I quietly commanded the survivors. We dashed and zig-zagged down a row of houses. There was a break in the mare chain, and we took it. The coast was clear. Then I turned a corner, and Colgate jumped out, tackling me to the ground. She started rubbing against me. I squirmed under her, desperate to escape. She moaned lightly. I noticed that I was gathering dirt on my coat, that meant that I was on a dirt road. I used my hoof and swiped dirt in her face. She stumbled backwards, and I used the moment to escape. I made a mad dash for my life to catch up with the others. We quickly reached the hotel, and slammed the door shut. Then we boarded the windows and doors shut with various tables and chairs.

"Man, you guys are wusses," said a familiar boyish voice. I whipped my head toward the source of the sound. Rainbow Dash was floating in the air, looking completely normal. I was terrified of anything with a vagina at this point, and I hid behind a nearby chair. The other survivors followed suit. Rainbow Dash's head popped out from the side of the chair I was hiding behind. "What'cha hiding from?" I screamed like a little girl, and ran away with my arms flailing around. "Oh, scared of mating mares I see. Well, don't worry, you're all too weak and wimpy for me to want to rape you." I poked my head out from the table I hid behind. Rainbow Dash casually sat in the chair. I think she might be too lazy to rape anypony. Now to just pass the time. We can probably hold out for the rest of the week, given the current resources we have. Unless we're found out, but I've planned for that. There are a minimum of five escape routes from the main lobby, should anything happen.

"Got any... sea serpents?" I asked Rainbow Dash. We were playing a game of go fish.

"Go fish," Rainbow said.

I laid on a table on my back, my head hanging off of it. "Ugh, how long has it been?" I asked whoever was closest. The yellow pegasus said,

"About eight minutes." I sighed deeply.

I stared at the red wall. My right eye twitched at the boredom. It's been... about three days. I've done nothing but stare at walls all day long. I've been so bored. Only four more days until most of them will be normal again. Some of the mares should already be returning to normal state, albeit it will only be a small minority at this point in time. I think Rainbow Dash left us, calling us, 'You guys are bore-ing. I'm leaving.'

I've been looking outside every few hours. The mares' paths are changing. They're splitting up more, getting closer to us. Although current algorithms predict that they won't find us. But, I can't account for random variables and events. So it's still possible.

Chapter 40: Troll Mode activated

Chapter 40: Troll Mode activated

And today's the day that marks over fifty percent of the mare population is normal. It should be safe to leave the confines of the hotel. I looked across Ponyville one last time from atop of the hotel's roof. It seemed as most of the mares in the city had returned to their day jobs. I shuddered at the thought of this happening again. Next time it's mating season, I'm going back to Earth for a vacation. I'm so glad humans evolved in tropical East Africa. This means that we don't have a mating season because seasons didn't affect birth. It has to do with resources per season. Humans are also monogamous, so that would also prevent mass rape from happening. And the male to female ratio is pretty much equal. It's 100:101 male to female in large cities. But, that's besides the point. I climbed back down the ladder to the top level. Then I trotted down the stairs to the lobby. The elevator worked, but after doing nothing at all for that many days, I don't think I could stand the elevator music. The sun had just broke the horizon, lighting up the sky in a fiery orange. I pulled the barricade blocking the doors down, and walked on out. Rainbow Dash swooped down, and floated above me.

"I thought you would never come out of there. Now that you're finally done being a wuss, I could use your help," Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh, shut it you rainbow-mullet. And I thought you were, 'too awesome to ever need help from anypony', I said.

"Yeah, but you're not a pony."

"I don't care, I have better things to do. This whole mating season ordeal has taken a large chunk out of the time I should be training."

"Come on, don't you at least want to know what it is?"

"Go suck a phallus-shaped cloud." I started to trot off, but Rainbow Dash swooped down and tackled me.

"I really need your help. Don't make me beg."

"Find somepony else."

"I tried! I've already asked dozens of stallions! They all said no. So, I figured that you would do it because you're not strictly a stallion." Now, I'm curious. What exactly did all the other stallions say 'no' to? And why is she expecting me to do it?

"Okay, I'll bite. What exactly is it?" She grew a devious grin that made me regret asking.

"No no no!" I told Rainbow Dash. "I will not be your temporary coltfriend just to impress your parents! This is abusurd and preverse!" She said,

"Too bad." We were already in the air. Shehad grabbed onto me and strated flying upwards. Then I rode on her back, becuase she wouldn't be able to hold me like that for long. By the direction we're going, I predict she's heading towards Cloudsdale. I can't get down, not without plummeting to my doom. Well, this is just great. I wonder why no one else wanted to do this.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash," I said, "I can't walk on clouds. How am I suppose to visit Cloudsdale?" Rainbow yelled over the wind,

"There's a unicon there that knows the Cloud Walker spell. He should be waiting for us at the entrance." Oh, how convenient. There just HAPPENS to be a spell for something that fits just perfectly in this situation. Ugh, it's like a bad My Little Pony fan-fiction where an author's too lazy and just makes up a spell that's far too convenient for that event, and doesn't even bother explaining how that pony knows that spell, even though it would be a completely useless spell any other time. But, enough ranting, Cloudsdale was approaching quickly.

Rainbow Dash landed on the clouds, next to a teal unicorn that wore a fisherman's hat. Rainbow Dash said to him,

"Hi, dad. Neon needs to be able to wall on clouds."

"Rainbow! I've missed you so much." They hugged, causing me to fall off Rainbow's back. I fell through the clouds, falling at a fast rate. I saw Rainbow Dash burst through the clouds, flying toward me. She caught me and dragged me back up. Once we were above the cloud line again, the teal unicorn said, "Right-o then, the spell." His horn glowed teal, and then the teal aura washed over me. "Done." Rainbow Dash let go of me, and I softly landed on a cloud. Wow, these are soft. It's like friggin cotton, even though this cloud is nothing more than a collection of water droplets, and not a solid object. The cloud molded to my hooves as I walked on it.

"Ahem, we should get to your house then," Rainbow impatiently said. I said,

"No! I never agreed to-" Rainbow twisted my arm behind her back. She whispered,

"Yes you did. Now, just play along and you won't get hurt." She realised my arm. I just stood there silently. "Right then, ao lead the way, dad." Mr. Dash walked into the city. We followed closely behind. Rainbow started chuckling to herself as we passed a rainbow waterfall.

"Hey, you know that Earth candy, Skittles? The slogan is, 'See the rainbow, taste the rainbow' or something like that," Rainbow Dash asked me.

"Yes," I said, unsure of what she was getting at.

"Well, look. You can drink that rainbow juice over there," She said as she pointed to the rainbow waterfall. Yeah, no. By the the way she was chuckling to herself, I don't think that's a good idea. I coldy stared icey daggers into her eyes. She looked away. We continued to trot down the road until we came across a medium-sized cloud house. Oh, of course, they live in a house made of clouds. We'll just go along with that. I wonder what would happen if you fell out of bed. The smell of cinima reached my nose as I walked into the house. So, I just have to be Rainbow's pseudo-coltfriend while I'm here. Vinyl's gonna kill me if she finds out about this. Or not. I really have no clue. Regular furniture covered the room, along with photos of Rainbow's family.

"Breakfast is ready!" Said a motherly voice from the kitchen. How the fuck did I get dragged into this? I slid along the wall, trying to get away from this family of multicolored hair. I fell through the wall, ending up in the next hallway. Well, that worked. Rainbow burst through the same wall, and dragged me back to the dinning table. I guess I spoke to soon. Rainbow whispered to me,

"Now now, don't go escaping. We'll only be here for a short time. All you need to do is sit down, eat, and answer a few questions." Odd, she has a different speech pattern. She must be nervous. She pushed me into a chair at the end of the table. Two rainbow-haired colts, one green the other brown, and jumped into chairs on the other end of the table. Then Rainbow's father sat down at the end of table. The mother walked into the dining room, carrying a plate of a large stack of pancakes in her wings. She placed them down in the middle of the table, and sat down next to me at the other end of the table. Rainbow's mother was pink-skinned, with loose purple hair. She also had wings. The table already had silverware and plates, which made no sense because we don't have fingers. I looked around me at the Dash family. They used their mouths to hold silverware. Uh, I'll just use magic. I lifted up a fork and took a pancake out of the stack. The other ponies were already eating. Rainbow's mother broke the silence by saying,

"So, Rainbow, do you mind telling us who your colt friend is?" I started to say,

"I'm not-" but Rainbow covered my mouth and said,

"His name is Neon Blaze, I told you I'd get somepony." The mother said,

"Well then, you should introduce us."

"Uh, okay." Rainbow said. She pointed at her mom, and said, "This is Amber Dash, my mom. My dad is Olive Dash." I really fucking hate the names in Equestria. They sound like a two-year old thought of them. Olive said,

"So, tell me about yourself, Neon." How generic. Since Captain of the Rainbow Mullets dragged me into this, let's see how bad I can mess this up. I replied, in the straightest face and tone I could muster,

"I worked as the person who cleans up after the animals in the zoo, then I become addicted to drugs and alcohol, then I cleaned up the toilets at rest stops, then I got Rainbow pregnant eighteen times. The kids are all on drugs and are getting surprise flank sex in prison right now." All of the family, except the colts, spat out whatever they were eating or drinking and stared at me. Internally, I was in a laughing fit. Externally, I showed no emotion. Their reactions were priceless. Rainbow nervously chuckled and said,

"Uh, heh, you're so funny, Neon. That was all a joke and never happe-" I interrupted,

"No, really, I got a poorly-drawn note from Shilly De Killer the Third from prison. You know, our fourth colt? Well, he said he's pregnant. Aren't you happy for him?" Oh god, this is getting better by the second. Rainbow nervously looked around the room, searching for something to say. She's so going to kick my ass later, but it'll be worth it. Olive said,

"Rainbow, what do you have to say about this?" Rainbow said,

"Well, uh, you see, uh, none of that really happened and-" I interrupted again,

"Of course it happened! How else would you explain the sixty-nine hookers we got as a gift from our second-born? They're still hanging on the walls and used as rugs like you said you liked it." I put my arm around Rainbow. "I just knew that when I saw her buying drugs for that school filly that one Tuesday, we would be perfect for each other." I'm being such a troll right now.

Chapter 41: Prostitution

"Never, and I mean NEVER pull that again," Rainbow scolded me. She held me up against the cloud wall. I has a smug look on face as she threatened me. "Or else I will throw you through the floor and beat the crap outta you faster than me doing a sonic rainboom." After a bit more yelling, she released me. She then stormed back into the dinning room, with a smug me stumbling in behind her. We were still having breakfast. As we sat down, Rainbow glared at me. I did the zipper-for-a-mouth thing and zipped my mouth shut. I got an idea and started to say,

"Did you know tha- oof!" I gasped when Rainbow Dash hit me under the table. No one noticed. "Never mind." She glared at me. It seems she doesn't want me talking anymore. Olive said,

"So, uh, Neon, where did you go to school?"

"Well there was this one time where I-" I glanced over to my pseudo-fillyfriend. She gave me a look that told me she would hurt me if I said anything stupid. "Uh, I went to that one school in Ponyville."

"That one school? Do you mean Cheerilee's school?"

"Oh, of course not. They've been teaching the exact same thing every time it's been showed. It's like they have no budget." Uh, I think I might've just confused them.

"Hmm, so then what school?"

"Uh... I was self-taught."

"In what? What's your career?"

"Prostitution."

"That's it!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she pounced on me. She threw me through the wall, then continued to chase after me. She had little control in her movement in a small environment like this, and she was angry. She chased me throughout the house. Everytime she got just close enough to tackle me, I turned a corner and she crashed through a cloud wall. I ran for my life, all around the house.

Eventually she got me. I was upstairs, directly over the dining room. I was in some kind of rec room. Rainbow tackled me, causing me to spiral into the floor. She then punched me in the balls, and I fell through the floor from the impact. I landed onto the table the Dash family was eating on. Once I hit it, I screamed,

"Ow! My reproductive organs!" I then rolled around on the table, clutching my balls in pain. It hurts to get punched in the nuts, try getting a hoof slammed into them from an angry athlete. Welp, I won't be able to make kids for the next few weeks. I rolled off the table and attempted to stand. I was covered in pancake chunks.

My balls felt like they were on fire. I guess I deserved it. Worth it. So very worth it. I got back in my chair, like nothing had happened. Rainbow floated in next to me and sat down. She glared daggers at me, watching my every move. Next time I try something, I may not even have a ball-sack. We all finished our breakfast in an awkward silence. None of made eye contact as we stared at our plates. The table was still a mess from me falling onto it. Amber asked me,

"You are covered in food, would you like to take a shower here?" Take a shower in someone else's house? That's not normal. But I guess it's understandable, given the caring nature of the ponies. I declined,

"No, I'm quite alright."

"Please do, you smell quite pungent." Uh, when was the last time I took a shower? Before mating season started I think. I lifted up my right arm, and sniffed my armpit. Oh dear, I do smell bad. Kind of like shit with sharp cheddar cheese mixed in. How have I not noticed? Oh yeah, I rarely care about personal hygiene, no one ever sees me.

I guess I should be more self-aware, considering at how much I see people now. But, I'd rather not do it here, I don't want to fall through the floor. I'll go back to Earth, where indoor plumbing is a lot better.

"I will, as soon as I get back to Earth." I then clamped my hoof over my mouth. I should not have said that. Olive said quietly to himself,

"Earth, Earth, Earth. I know I've heard that name before." He doesn't know? Could the princess be trying to hide the attack? The only affected cities were Canterlot and Manehatten.

It's possible, since news travels slowly here without the Internet. Maybe slowly enough for the princess to stop it. I think I've said that before. Besides the point, I've been Rainbow's fake coltfriend for too long, I have better things to do. I pushed my chair back, and said,

"Well then, I'm sure you're all busy with doing... whatever the hell cartoons do when the television is off. Now, I must be off." As I stood on the cloud floor, I noticed that things got taller around me. Then I realised that everything else wasn't growing, I was falling through the cloud floor.

Although, fairly slowly. I predict that once I puncture a hole in the cloud with my hoof in about the next five seconds, the rest of the cloud will rapidly expand to create a hole large enough to make only me fall through. Meh, I've been through worse. "Hey, Rainbow, you might want to catch me as I fall. If you'll notice, it will be mere seconds before I start plummeting to my death. The Cloud Walker spell must have worn offFFFFFF!" I then fell through the cloud. The wind shot my hair around in every direction. I held my arms behind my head, looking relaxed.

Rainbow was already trying to save me. She dashed down from Cloudsdale, rushing to meet me. At this rate, she will catch me in... about five seconds after I hit the ground. If you want to know why I'm not terrified, it's because there's a large, deep lake below me. And as we have all learned from video games, as long as you land in water, you'll be fine. (In Minecraft's case, it has to be two blocks deep.)

Surface tension you say? Well, lemme tell you something, the physics in Equestria make as much sense as edible panties and glow-in-the-dark condoms. I mean, really? Unless the wearers of the condoms are two gay men playing a kinky game of Star Wars, that just makes no sense. No sense at all because when you’re fucking someone, the condom isn’t going to be visible. You’re not going to pull out and say, look honey, look at it glow!

*SPLASH*

I hit the water, landing softer than I predicted. It was like water, but it broke really easy and didn't slap me. Surface tension must be nonexistent in this world. As I swam back up, I saw a laughing Rainbow Dash above the water.

"Looks like you took a bath after all!" Yelled a laughing Rainbow Dash.

"Laugh it up, I'm not the one who flew all the way down to save somepony, and then fail that." Rainbow crossed her arms and flew back up. I guess I'm free to go home now. I need to start training, I've had enough delays. I swam out of the river. There was a road that had a sign telling me that it went to Ponyville.

How convenient. I shook off as much water as I could, like a dog. It was getting kind of cold. Winter must be rolling in soon. And Winter-Wrap up. I hope they don’t start singing. No wait, I’ll just be back on Earth, where we have space heaters. I started to walk down the path. It was quiet, I didn’t see anyone else.

Current research predictions lead me to believe that 56% of all mares are normal again. But that’s still a rough guess at best, it’s not like I’ve taken multiple ponies hostage as test subjects and did horrible, but highly informative, experiments on them. Although I bet it won’t be much longer until some scientists try to do just that, and develop weapons around killing them.  Or maybe not, maybe humanity learned its lesson, and won’t attack other species anymore.

Wait... what the fuck am I talking about? I live in a race of people that buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. We also have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. We don’t learn, we just push harder and expect something to change. I walked into Ponyville. It looked normal, maybe a bit less crowded, but probably safe. I need to find Twilight. She wasn’t anywhere outside, so must be in her house reading. Like I said, these ponies are very predictable. Out of nowhere, Derpy fall on top of me.

“Oops! Sorry!” She said as she got off me. Then another pony tackled me. Once I could see who it was, I saw Lyra on top of me.

“Lyra, what do you want? And get off me,” I said.

“Bring me back to Earth! I want hands!” Lyra exclaimed. Derpy said,

“Hands? Like those things monkeys have instead of hooves? I’ve always wanted to try those! Can I have hands, Neon? Please!” I crawled out from under Lyra, and firmly said,

“No.” They both said in unison,

“Please?” Anyone else would have broken down at how cute they are, but I won’t. I don’t want Lyra and her obsession with humans on Earth again. And as for Derpy...

Yeah, that wouldn’t work out. I trotted across town, losing them in the crowd. There’s Twilight’s tree. I knocked on the door, expecting Spike to answer. He always answers. I wonder why Twilight can never answer. The door creaked open, with Spike walking away from the door, back upstairs. Twilight was at her desk, reading something. It’s like this all the time.

“Do you understand your commands?” Said Fantasma to The Changeling Queen while they stood in her cave.

“Yes yes, kill the one they call Neon.” The Changeling Queen said.

“No! You will refrain from attacking him until I give the signal. And you will NOT be killing him at all, or else I will kill you. I don’t want him dead. I want him in pain. I want him to live with the fact that he lost.”

“These humans taste horrible, their love is weak and badly expressed. I have no interest in the one you hate so much.”

“I don’t hate him. I owe him.”

Twilight walked around me, looking at me trying to focus my magic. She told me to meditate, which while I find complete bullshit to do, Twilight knows more about than me. A wispy cloud of magical aura was forming around me. It was purely cosmetic, having a glowing aura around me did nothing more than make me look cool. The reason why I’m still training, is because the holograms of me will only do so much.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, the holographic projector is already set up, hidden inside of townhall. No one can see it, but it will only display holograms inside of townhall. There was a voice command microphone on it, so I just say the word, and it turns on. But enough about that, I need to think about my magic now. I can’t use pure magic to win a fight, but if I combine it with attacks I already use, then that might just work. Let’s see, how do I usually win fights? By thinking. I predict my opponent's attacks, and counter them. Sometimes I think so fast, that time appears to be in slow motion. I wonder if I can use magic to speed up cognitive abilities. Yeah, a spell that uses cognitive psychology and improves thought speed. I asked Twilight, who was still walking around me,

“Is there a spell that uses cognitive psychology? Such as to speed up mental thought, so that the world around appears to slow down.”

“Aw, of course! Why didn’t I think of that earlier? Well, yes, there are many spells that affect the mind. Although the problem being they’re often dangerous and few can do them. But they’re relatively easy to learn, compared to other spells. You have to think as if your whole body is virtual. Like you’re a ghost. You have to feel like you're in control of your body itself, like think very meta. Try to gather magic in your horn, and then use it on your brain, to control your body. It works kind of like a non-direct route. Instead of the magic going straight to your body, it takes a different path through your mind. This puts considerable strain on the body, because of the high magic usage. But since all body movements are made by your mind anyway, it makes you much faster in response times,” Twilight said. Uh, if this was a story, and I had to read all of that, I would’ve tl; dr and walked away from the book. But then again, I could talk for hours on end about computers. Wait, I think Twilight is still talking. “Plus the way it reconfigures the neural connections hasn’t been studied yet, we just don’t have the technology to...” Yep, she’s still talking. Uh, I must’ve drowned her out. But either way, this brain spell branch she’s talking about will be perfect for me.

Chapter 42: Chrysalis attacks

A/N: WOOT! The Hacker Pwny has just hit 100,765 words total! Can you believe that? One hundred thousand words!

I was still gathering magic. I've been meditating, for what? Three hours? Eventually, I became tired of tired of just sitting there, and stood up. Twilight's eyes were glued in a book about mental spells, one that she got from the royal archives not that long ago. She slammed the book, making me jump. I looked at her, she had glasses on... when did she put on glasses? She walked over to me, and said,

"I am now fully qualified to be your teacher!" I facehoofed at this. The glasses were overkill, and has she been getting a teacher's degree or something? I hope she can teach me something about meta spells. I said,

"Okay, now, let's actually learn something." Twilight nodded.

I breathed heavily. My vision was spinning. I've been practicing magic for many hours now. I'm exhausted, but I won't give up.

"Another, Twilight," I said. We were right outside her house. Patches of grass were burnt from my bad aiming. No, I wasn't shooting magic bolts. I was redirecting Twilight's. She told me that if I put magic in my hooves, and use the mental slow-down spell, I have just enough time to hit back the bolts. I've been doing other things involving magic, but none of them have really been spells. Just redirecting magic in my body to do various things. I can manage to use the meta spell a small amount, but not very good. I only have a little better reaction time, and better reflexes. I was covered in cuts and burns from training, despite how much Twilight tried not to hurt me.

"I think we're good for today. The sun's going down, and you've used up all your magic. You can't even stand still," Twilight said. True, I felt drained and tired. But that won't stop me.

"Just a few more minutes. I'd rather be in pain now than dead later." Twilight thought about her options. She tries to convince me again,

"You don't have much raw magic, actually, I don't know what you have. It doesn't feel like magic, and that might be the reason you're able to do all these so quickly. You've done more in an afternoon, than I have in a week. But, more training isn't going to help. Over exhausting yourself won't do anything."

"Just one attempt, I can do it this tiiiiii..." I lost control and fell to the ground. My vision faded to black quickly. I lost conscience soon after. Twilight stood over me, her horn glowing purple. She quietly said to me,

"Sorry for the sleep spell, but this is getting dangerous. You need a good night's sleep." My ear twitched at hearing that. I quickly woke up, and stood up.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That," I said with a tone of anger.

"Bu-but how!? You can't just get up from a spell like that!"

"I refuse to give up. I can be awake for days and be fine. As long as I'm standing, I want you to train me. No one can stop meeeeee..." I fell to the ground and fell asleep again. Twilight's horn was glowing bright than last, but the magic quickly dispersed.

"Just needed a larger dose of the sleep spell. I hope I didn't overdo it, a sleep spell of that power would put most ponies in a coma." That was the last thing I heard before all the noise drained out. Wait, no. Just no. I'm not giving up. I can't sleep now. I opened my eyes and wrapped a hood around Twilight's leg.

"I won't sleep. Not at a time like this. More training."

"How did you do that!? How can you be so determined? Anypony else would've quit a long time ago." I shakily stood up. The ground felt wobbly, but I stood firm.

"I-I'm different. Don't compare me to anypony else ever again."

"Okay okay, we'll try again. Get ready." Twilight trotted away. Once she was a few yards away, she started to gather magic in her horn. I focused the little remaining energy to my hooves and mind. A magic bolt shot out from her horn, and time slowed down. The bolt floated closer and closer, and I readied my hooves. My hooves emitted a soft green light. The bolt was inches away. I put both fore hooves around it, twisted my arms, and redirected it into the ground. My hooves would be on fire if they weren't made out of nails. Well, they aren't made of nails, but they're close enough. But there were many failed attempts at this counter-attack, and because of those I'm covered in scratches and burns. Every cut stung.

"Another one..." Was the last thing I said before I lost all feeling in my limbs and crashed into the ground. I really need to stop overexerting myself. With a drained feeling in my horn, I passed out on the burnt grass.

9 hours later.

“Ughhhh,” I moaned. My eyes fluttered open, to be met with a wooden ceiling.

"Hey, I've been wanting to see you, bro," said a female right next to me. I also felt something warm in bed with me. I looked to my left, and saw Vinyl laying down next to me. Her moderately-hued purple eyes shone in the light coming from the window. Wait... purple eyes? I don't remember her having purple eyes. Meh, at this point, I don't give a fuck.

"How'd you get in here?" I asked Vinyl rather coldly.

"How 'bout, 'hello'?"

"Superficial greetings don't mean anything." Vinyl put a hoof over my mouth.

"Shh, you talk too much." Vinyl then brought me closer. Wait, something's off here. Vinyl wouldn't know where I am, and her personality and dialect seems off. What she first said, the 'Hey, I've been waiting for you, bro' thing felt forced, like she's trying too hard to be herself. And what she said next, 'How 'bout, 'hello'?' made her sound like someone else, like she was trying to switch personalities and was way off. And the last thing she said, the 'shh' thing, was even more off. Whoever this pseudo-Vinyl is, she's trying very hard to dynamically adjust her personality to fit what I know. Like she's listening to my emotional output, and fixing what she thinks might reveal her. I rolled out of bed, and stumbled away from the imposter as fast as I could. Once I was across from the room, I said,

"Stop it with the Vinyl impression. I'm no fool. You may be able to fool everypony else, but not me." But whoever was pretending to be Vinyl was persistent,

"What are you talking about, man?"

"Let's see, the only race I know of that can dynamically adjust their personality based on emotion, and change their bodies to be anything, would be the changelings. But, I will admit, you're pretty good at acting like Vinyl. So good, in fact, that you can only be the queen herself, Queen Chrysalis. Now, drop the act. I see right through this thin shroud of lies." Queen Chrysalis turned into her regular form, and jumped out of the bed. She stood on the floor, her green eyes piercing mine. She was clearly mad that I found out it was her so quickly.

"I know your secret, and I'm here to taste this new kind of love you have. While I never liked human emotion, you're different. And I like that. Now, just lie down, and it won't hurt a bit," she said. She was predictable, and I had to show that.

"Over my dead body." We both said in unison,

"It may just come to that." Chrysalis growled at me. Then she said,

"How did you know I was going to say that?"

"You're too predictable, like everypony else here. And you're not getting anything from me."

"We'll see about that." She then hissed at me and held me up with magic. With as much directional magic flow I could learn in an afternoon, I dispelled her hold on me. It wasn't easy, but I can manipulate magic flow enough for it to cancel out other magic. Actually, she wasn't even holding onto me that much. And even then, I used way too much magic for this dispel spell to be practical. There was no way I could fight her, I need to run. I spun around and dashed off, jumping down the stairs. I rolled once I hit the bottom, so the force of impact would be directed forward, instead of on my legs. Chrysalis was persistent, she flew at me as I ran. Where the hell is Twilight? I can’t fight her on my own. I bet she’s weakened, given how she isn’t being empowered by love, and she doesn’t have an army right now. I ran throughout the house, with Chrysalis bumping into walls as she gave chase. I was in Twilight’s tree, but I didn’t see anyone else. I bashed through the door, watching a calm morning rise. Ponies were casually trotting around, until they saw Chrysalis. Then they ran away in fear. Okay, I guess no one will help me.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Said a female voice, which I identified as Rarity. Then Rarity did a flying kick to Chrysalis’ face. After that, Rarity trotted over to me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Look out!” I yelled as Chrysalis pounced on us. I rolled away, while Rarity did the same. Fighting Chrysalis isn’t something I think I can do. I still feel sore after passing out from using all my magic. At least I have Rarity on my side, but where is the rest of the Mane Six? Grr, I don’t know. Chrysalis disguised herself as me. Appearntly, her straigity is have Rarity attack me. Rarity looked at both of us, worried that if she attacked, she might hit the real me. Chrysalis said,

“Attack her! She’s the imposter!”

“No wait, just attack both of us. This way, you have a hundred percent chance of getting Chrysalis,” I said. It’s an unorthodox strategy, but it will work. Rarity did what I said, unsure of who was who, and slammed into both of us. Except I knew what she was going to attack with, like I said, these ponies are predictable. Knowing her martial art skills, she was going to do something that simple rolling would dodge. So, I did just that. She narrowly avoided me. Chrysalis turned normal as she got up from the attack. She then growled and turned into Rarity. They brawled, and they were covered in a thick cloud of dust like those found in old cartoons. Once the cloud subsided, I couldn't tell who was who. The same trick again, Chrysalis? Really?

“Don’t attack us both, I just washed my hair!” One of the Raritys said. Knowing Rarity, she would want me to attack both of them, even if her hair would be messed up, because she wouldn’t want me to get hurt. If she really was that concerned, she wouldn't have joined the fight. I charged at the one who talked, and slammed into her. Chrysalis shot backwards, and revealed herself.

“How do you always know it’s me?” Chrysalis asked.

“Trade secret,” I responded. These simple illusions won’t pass my perceptiveness.Chrysalis charged up her horn, and fired a green beam of magic at me. Uh oh, I only trained with bolts, not beams. Think, think, think... I got it! The beams must work like lasers, just reflect them. I called the magic though my mind, then to my hooves. The beam slowly trudged toward me as time slowed. I held my hooves out in front of me, and angled them so that when the beam would hit, it would be redirected back at Chrysalis. I felt a lot of heat as the beam made contact, but it still reflected. I used so much magic to keep the magic pressure up, a continuous stream of magic is a lot harder then bursts of it. Chrysalis hit herself with the beam, but I couldn’t hold it any longer and I got hit, also. It only dealt minor damage, Chrysalis got hit with the blunt of the attack.

“I’ll be back. You won’t live to regret fighting me,” Chrysalis said as she vanished in a poof of smoke and green fire. Rarity rushed over to me, and said,

“Are you okay? Neon? Is anything injured?” There was a burn mark on my chest, but otherwise, I was fine.

“Yeah, I’m good. Still, I wonder what Chrysalis wanted with me...” I said.

Chapter 43: Time to fight

“No matter how learned and knowledgeable, how wise and how wonderful, how powerful and puissant, there is always one more sliver of power, one more bit of knowledge, one more secret to be learned by any mage.” -Medivh, The Last Guardian

Today's the day. A whole month passed, or at least most of the  month. Chrysalis attacked just a few days ago, and because of that, Twilight and I have been staying up late at night, trying to figure out what Chrysalis wanted with me. I know that today, the unknown pony will attack me because he visited me again in the middle of the night. He told me my time was up. He would strike today. Then, he just left. Just like that, he vanished. I have thousands of questions, and not a single answer.

I was on edge, as it was already afternoon. Whoever was trying to kill me, never specified an exact time, nor a location. So, I was just lying in chair, inside of town hall. The area around town hall was closed off, Celestia herself told everybody in Ponyville it was for 'renovations.' Her, luna, and Twilight were nearby, watching and hiding. They wanted to know who this pony is as much as me. The rest of The Mane Six didn't know about this. I told none of them to try and help me, the last thing I want is for others to get hurt. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours, until it was starting to get dark outside. I clenched my right hoof, while saying,

"Where are you..." A whoosh was heard behind me.

"Right here," said that voice that visited me the night before.

"So," I said, without turning around, "you finally decided to show your face. Let's start with names. I'm Ne-"

(Play this music in the background.)

"I know who you are. But, I suppose it's important to know who I am. My name's Scavell. I need absolution. And you're my ticket. It's not easy to live like I have. NOW DIE!" Scavell charged at me. The sudden attack caught me off guard, and I was sent tumbling forward. "Weak. Pathetic. Get up, and fight." I pushed myself up, and glared at him. A pain stung my side.

"No."

"I SAID FIGHT!" Scavell dropped the brown robe he was dressed in. "Don't make me kill you." At first glance, he looked like a pegasus. But then something on his forehead caught my attention. A broken horn.

"You're an alicorn?" He just looked down.

"Not in the truest sense, not in the same way as the princesses. I'm not proud of what I am, or what I've done. But it doesn't matter. Your death is key." He vanished with a flash of darkness. I scanned the room, looking for anything. A shadow was rapidy moving toward me. I couldn't dodge in time, and Scavell melded out from the shadow and bashed me. He's strong, he knocked me back a few feat. He tried the same shadow attack as before. My mind raced for options. I had more data on that attack now that I've seen it, but I still can't think of a way to counter it.

He popped out of the shadow and hit me again. I struggled to get up. I coughed into my hoof, a few droops of blood coming out. Why can't I think of anything? There must be someway to win, I'm getting beaten up badly. He launched another shadow strike at me. Yet again, I stood there motionless. For the first time ever, my mind was drawing a blank. He slammed into me again, I was sent flying into the wooden walls. I fell out of the wall after impact, leaving splintering wood broken and snapped in the area I crashed into. My back was in such pain, my vision was spinning.

A line of blood crawled out of my mouth. Why aren't the others helping? Why can't I think of anything? I feel... empty. Hollow. Like there's some handicap on my brain. I started to gather magic energy for a spell, but nothing happened. Scavell melded into a shadow again, and shot himself at me. My eyes narrowed, I refuse to get hit again. Once he popped out of the shadow, I uppercutted him as he flew toward me. Everything but Scavell and I started shaking and wobbling. It quickly returned to normal. An illusion, eh? I said,

"I see through this fake environment. The illusion is over."

"Not bad. But you're still my prey here, and only through death will you escape," he responded. He turned into a shadow again, but this was different. He split up into sixteen different shadow parts. They came in all directions, dodging this was impossible. Maybe I don't need to dodge. If I can expel enough energy to disrupt the illusion, I might be able to escape. As the shadows closed in, I shot out as much magic as I could. The effect was tiring, but everything around me started ripping apart. The shadows back away and turned back into Scavell.

The illusion broke, and I could feel my mind being freed, as well as my magic. Scavell stood feet away from from me, his hoof covering his mouth. A dark purple magic shield covered the town hall. The others weren't in sight. If they knew about what I was doing, they would surely try to save me. The fact that they're not here means they either can't see inside, or what they see inside town hall is me doing just fine. I would guess the latter, because with the former, they would be checking it out. So I guess I won't be getting help anytime soon.

"Why don't you just die!" Scavell yelled before charging up his horn. He was encased in a black aura as a small ball of energy grew on the tip of his horn. I could feel the magic, it was that strong. His hair was whipping around from the wind created by his magic. Black electricity struck out from the growing orb. Wait, he didn't have a horn. Now that I look at it, the horn he currenty has appears to be made out of some kind of dark magic. It glowed oddly, and didn't seem to be a physical object.

What the hell is he?! I need to try something now, before he attacks. I used too much energy breaking that illusion, and couldn't redirect something of that power. Unless I can use it against him. I ran over to the town hall's openings that were covered with purple shields. He shot the blast at me. It struck me in a flash, causing me to crash into the magical barricade. A large burn mark was left on my chest, where it struck. I could tell I was bleeding out of a few cuts. I chuckled at his attempt to kill me.

"That the best you got?" I asked him.

"You should be dead! Nopony else has ever survived a direct hit from that! The battle is hopeless! Just lay down and await your inevitable death!" To tell the truth, it wasn't a direct hit. The barricades keeping me in here are made of a type of magic that is more flexible, and easir to manipulate. I used that, and redirected some of the magic flow in front of me. Just enough to absorb enough of the energy ball so it wouldn't be lethal.

Wait, shouldn't he be able to detect what I did? Unless he's not the one doing it. So that means he's not alone. But who? The only one that comes to mind is Chrysalis, becuase she attacked me a few days ago. But why would she be helping him kill me? Grr, too many questions without answers!

"If I really am going to die here, then tell me, why do you want to kill me?"

"I need resolve. I've told you this."

"And will killing me do that?!"

"Yes, it will. How? I can't tell you. You think the world's simple, that everything just 'happens.' You're dealing with forces far greater than you can imagine. It goes above Equestria, it goes above the whole Gruk galaxy. Or as you humans call it, The Milky Way galaxy. I'm just the scout for this planet. And you being alive is interfering with our plans. I will admit that a human being the key for all of this is strange, given their violent history and abnormal stubbornness. But I'm not the one who questions orders. By fighting me, you're risking the lives of everyone in Equestria. If I fail, then they will send somepony else, somepony that can destroy cities with the snap of his fingers. But enough talk, you need to die now." His pseudohorn glowed and started growing a second dark energy ball. I just stood there.

"You want to know something? I don't give up. Send whoever you want, I will defeat all of them. Not for my life, but for my friends. If I die, they won't be the same. I risked my life many times over, just for the safety of my friends. And if I die now, I won't be able to protect the ones I care about anymore." I could feel some kind of new power flow through me, like a fire has been lit. "That is why I'm here. Sure, I could've just left, and never looked back. But I didn't. If I die here, I will know that I failed my friends. And I refuse to let that HAPPEN!" My skin started to glow as I felt the burst of energy course through my veins. I filled my horn with magic. Scavell shot out an orb of dark magic at me. I captured it in a clear shell of magic, and shot it back at him. How did I do that!? I never learned that! Scavell vanished into a shadow, and the shot missed. Scavell chuckled slowly.

"Looks like it's now a fight. Let the games begin."

Chapter 45: Party!

Ughhhhh, what happened? Last thing I remember is Twilight asking me what happened, then everything just went dark. I think something might have hit me from behind, and knocked me out. I felt like I was restrained on a wall. As I drifted in and out of conscience, I picked up tidbits of conversation. Every time I glanced in front of me, I shall the throne room, with the princesses pacing back and forth.

"...not safe..." was something I heard. "... saved... don't send..." was another. The voices were far too distorted for me to guess who was saying them. I couldn't think straight. I opened my eyes one more time, to find Luna staring at me.

"Sir Blaze, I'm glad you're awake," Luna told me.

"Why am I here?" I asked.

"Celestia... she doesn't want you in Equestria anymore. I tried to keep you here, but my sister insists on making you go. She claims you're a danger to everypony here. I'm sorry to say, but you must return to Earth, immediately."

"What?!"

"I'm very sorry. I could not persuade her." I looked down as Luna freed me from the wall. After all that, I'm getting banished to Earth. After all I've done, Celestia wants me to just go.

"Does anypony else know about this?"

"Yes, I've told you friends."

"This really is it, isn't it?"

"I don't want to see you go, but I don't have a choice."

"Is he awake?" Asked Celestia as she walked up to me.

"Yes," Luna said.

"Neon," Celestia continued, "I'm very sorry for this, but I can't have you risk the lives of my citizens any longer. You must leave, and never return."

"If you really find that the best option, then I'll go," I replied. A tear almost came to my eye, but I held it back. I slowly walked out of the castle, the two princesses following me close behind. As I pushed open the doors, I could a large crowd screaming outside. What the?! I burst through the door, seeing a huge crowd of ponies all around the castle. They were chanting,

"Save Neon! Save Neon!" How...? Who even are these ponies? Then I spotted seven ponies near the front. The Mane Six, and Vinyl. Luna must have told more than just my friends. And maybe exaggerated what I did. As I looked back at Celestia, she had a look of pure surprise.

"I suppose this changes things, Neon. I will keep you under watch, but you're allowed to stay here as long as nothing else happens because of your presence. I would not be a very good ruler if I didn't listen to my subjects, and I'd rather not have another fight to transfer to a democracy system again." So... I can stay now? Well, that was quick. For the first time in a while, I shot a smile toward Luna. I haven't smiled in quite a while. Now that all that's gone, trying to fit in here, getting home and back by building the MTSC, the human invasion, fighting Scavell, I feel... free. Like a pressure has been lifted. At least, for now, I will be free to do what I want. Luna floated a mic toward me, and motioned for me to say something to the crowd. I tapped the mic, and a tapping sound echoed throughout the crowd. I held the mic to my face, and said,

"Hello, everypony. I'm the one who saved you from the humans, as Luna probably told you. I did it for all of you. I do what's right, no matter how hard it is. But, don't treat me like a hero. Treat me like a friend. Why? Because it's what a friend would do." A male pony walked up to me, pointed his hoof at me, and yelled into the crowd,

"He's the one that caused the humans to attack in the first place! He made some sort of device that the humans used to get here! I have evidence, it's all in the blueprints from when he made it!" The crowd gasped, and went silent. Quiet conversation was heard between small groups.

"What he said is true," I said, but the crowd went into an uproar. I spoke over them, "I made the device so I could go home,  I had no idea the humans would steal it and use it to invade this place. You can't blame it on me. If I really wanted this to happen, would I have risked my life to save all of you by stopping the humans?" The crowd was bursting with conversation between small groups, each sounding like gibberish because so many were talking. Luna took the mic from me, and said,

"I'm sure we can all forgive sir Blaze. We have all made mistakes, but Neon has fixed his." The crowd had murmurs of agreement. The pony who turned the crowd against me went back into the crowd. I guess this means I'm accepted as an Equestrian. Strange how accepting the citizens are here. I thought they had xenophobia, but they must have learned not to fear the unknown since the Zecora event. Most of the ponies here appear to be from Ponyville. I just hope that I can go a week without some event happening that involves me being in a lot of pain. Maybe I'll head back to Earth, with Vinyl, and show her around. So much fighting, so much pain, and I get a break. But, of course, it's not over. It's never over. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the little things. As I walked down the stairs, to meet Vinyl, Celestia stopped me with a hoof on my shoulder.

"Wait," she said. "I have one thing to say before you go. I'm sorry. Since the beginning, I've never trusted you. I now see I've been wrong to do that. Just moments ago, I didn't trust you. But above all else, you deserve my trust, and my friendship. I grant you full citizenship in Equestria. You've worked harder than anypony else, and you deserve it. Not only that, but Luna really thinks of you as a friend." I nodded, then continued my path to meet Vinyl. As I approached her, she trotted up and hugged me. I stood there, not reacting. After a brief pause, I said,

"You can let go now." I probably should have said something else, but I don't care. Vinyl released me, while leaving her arm around my neck. As I approached The Mane Six, I noticed that Rainbow Dash wasn't there. Hmm, she must still be mad about that one time I was at her parent's house. No, wait, I only count four of them. Uh, which one is missing? It's... the yellow one, I think. Yeah, Fluttershy isn't here. I look past The Mane Six, to see Fluttershy politely trying to move to the front of the audience. She must have been to scared to be in the front, but now the crowd is clearing out. I looked back at The Mane Six, to find that Vinyl is standing with them. Wait, then who has their arm around me? I looked to my left, to find that Pinkie Pie took Vinyl's place.

"Turn that indifferent expression upside down, I'm throwing a party for you! And everypony's invited!" Pinkie said.

"An indifferent expression turned upside down is still an indifferent expression," I replied. Haven't I told her I don't like people? Why does she keep insisting on these parties? There's nothing to gain by looking like a fool with your hooves in the air. Ugh, I don't feel like having to fight her right now. I'll try and not smash my face into the wall. "But, fine. I'll go. Can I pick the theme?" I wonder if Ponyville has neurotoxin...

"Ohhhhh, a theme? I love themes! It should have pirates, and ninjas, and ninja pirates and peanut better that tastes like fried cheese and penguins and-" I put my hoof over Pinkie's mouth. I can not take any more of her high-pitched talking. She continued to talk about random things, though I couldn't understand here because everything she said was muffled. She somehow teleported to the other side of me, and continued to talk. "So, what's the theme?" As for the theme, I wanted something of human design. Also, relating to technology in some way. I think Vinyl would like this, also. Plus, I could slip away pretty easily if I got tired of it. I don't have positive or negative tags on themes, but with the facts and opinions stated above, I know what to pick. It looks like it won't be too much longer, the sun's already going down.

(Play the music.)

"Woohoo!" Pinkie squealed as she danced around, in a cyberpunk-themed party with neon glow sticks wrapped all around her. Various other ponies did the same, with Vinyl providing the wubs. I never really liked music, just the hum of a computer fan was often the only sound I ever heard. And I liked it, it was nice, it wasn't distracting, and it allowed me to think clearly. But now, something I never thought would happen, I should just stop thinking and have fun. I deserve it. If only that was as easy as it seemed. I always felt silly trying to do things like this. I leaned on a wall as I thought, the rest of the party oblivious of me. Vinyl changed the song, and trotted over to me, her arms covered in glowing bright blue rings. I'd say she looks absurd, but there are a lot worse subcultures on Earth. And I guess it just kind of fit her. She tapped my shoulder, making my eyes open.

"Hey!" Vinyl screamed over the ground-shaking wubs. It was loud enough for it to be considered a whisper at the current background decibels. "You okay? I thought you'd be dancing, or something, man. It's your party, after all." I looked over her again, she was wearing those purple glasses. Then I noticed something behind her. Is that... Luna? I shifted to see behind Vinyl, to see Luna being carried across the sea of ponies, like when rock stars jump into crowds, and the crowd carries him. I guess I could consider her a friend, even though she's the one who dragged me into this mess in the first place. We were in the town hall, and Vinyl had me repurpose the hologram to shoot lasers and make a light show. "Hell-lo? You still there, dude? Should I turn the wubs up?" Ah, that reminds me. I wonder why this society has arcade games, powerful audio systems, including bass, and yet they still use typewriters and don't have washing machines. The tech used in arcade alone is enough for- "Yo, Neon, anypony home?" Vinyl interrupted my thoughts with, followed by a repeated tap to my head.

"I'm fine, just thinking," I replied.

"Well stop, let's dance!"

"What a perverse idea, dancing with hooves and quadrupedal movement. If you surely insist that rhythmic movement is even possible in such an awkward body type, then you have anoth- mfh!" Vinyl cut my talking off with a kiss. I hate it when she does that, I can never win.

"Heh, that shut you up. Now, let's dance." She dragged me over to a dance floor, that already had quite a few ponies already on it. Most notably, Pinkie Pie, considering how she's going all over the place. She looks a little tipsy also, she must be hitting the cider. And where there's cider, there's a drunk-out-of-her-mind Rainbow Dash nearby. I couldn't find her, not with the wave of bright colors invading my eyesight already. Actually, it was dark, I couldn't even see the floor or the walls. The only lights were the lasers and the glow rings everybody has, but me. Vinyl took my hooves, and tried to dance. It was akward, but I did what I could. I just wonder what’s next.

Chapter 46: Annnnnd, she's drunk again

"You're awkward on your hooves, no, follow my lead, dude, like this" Vinyl commanded me as she attempted to dance with me. If this was the Internet, I would've said, 'Bitch, please, you couldn't dance human', but it's not, so I have act nice. "Stay here, I need to change the song." Vinyl then left me standing in the middle of the ground. I noticed Twilight dancing with her friends, but she wasn't the object of interest. It was Spike. And he wasn't there. I don't think Spike gets invited to much, anyway. Poor guy, oh wait, he's like eight. I seem to remember him having cider once before, a reeeeeeeally long time ago. Like, not long after I first got here. I think Twilight just sometimes forgets to invite him. I saw a flash of color, then I saw Rainbow Dash, clearly drunk out of her mind, bowling over nearby ponies to get more cider. I calmly sidestepped to avoid her. What's with cider over here? Don't they have more than one alcoholic drink? Surely apples can't be the ONLY thing they've tried. Vinyl and Rainbow Stumble over there will have a field day if I ever leave them alone in a liquor store or bar. I hope they don't ask me fo- Oof! I fell over, something crashing into from behind. I looked behind me, to find Derpy.

"Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to do that, just tripped. Hey! I know you! You're Blaze Neon, the weird fleshy thing that evolved from monkeys! Can I go with you? When you go back to Mars?" Derpy said over the music, only loud enough for me to hear.

"No. Aside from the extreme inaccuracy in all of those facts, I just want it to be me and Vinyl for now. Though I suppose I owe you for that one time, with the battery. Tell you what, I will bring you there one day, but just not this week," I replied. Huh, any other day I would have just told her to sod off, like Hawke told the magistracy. But conditions have changed, so I guess Earth is safer now that the loud, arrogant part of humanity has shut up. Vinyl went back up to me, and said,

"Hey." She then went back to trying to dance with me. Although at this point I stopped trying to dance, and she looked like she was raving. "You know how bad the image for humans are right now?"

"Not really," I replied.

"Well, what most ponies believe is that the ones we saw were just the means one, and the rest are like you. I'd like to know if this is true."

"I... it... somewhat. Very few are like me, but I suppose I've been unfairly misanthropic lately. In fact the only reason the humans attacked us is because their arrogant leaders told them to, and they don't consider ponies to be capable of self-awareness. When humans fight each other, many bullets are fired, but very few ever do anything. They're afraid to kill their own species, and another reason why they were so willing to attack us is because we have ponies on Earth, but they just don't think on the same level as humans. There's even a phrase that is about being so hungry, they could eat a horse. Their lives are worthless compared to humans."

"Wait wait wait, you have ponies on Earth? I wonder if they know Equestria."

"Earth shares a lot of animals with this planet, but you have to remember something, humans are considered the only intelligent species on it. And as for ponies, I can bring you to a zoo sometime, but they don't look anything like the ponies here."

"Zoo? They're treated like animals?"

"You're missing the point, the ponies on Earth and here are very different. Here, they can talk and do magic. There, they just stand around and smell."

"Oh. So, do you have any plans after this?"

"Oh, you'll see."

"Sounds awesome, I'm gonna hit the cider, want any?"

"No, it's getting fairly late. I should start heading to bed."

"Already? Don't be such a party pooper, you'll like the cider." I've had cider before, the sweet kind, without alcohol. It was okay, I didn't care for it. Though I suppose I should trust Vinyl on this.

"Fine, I'll try some."

"Awesome, it's this way dude." Vinyl then walked around groups, while I followed her close behind. As we got near the wall, I could spot a long table, filled with various snacks, cakes, cupcakes, and bowls of liquid. Many of them appeared to be made by Pinkie pie. I've always wondered how they make cakes when they don't have hands. Vinyl got two glasses with her magic, dipped them in the cider bowl, and handed one to me.

"Where's the emergency induction port?"

"Huh?"

"Oh wait, found it." I levitated the emergency induction port off the table and into my drink.

"That's a straw, Neon..."

"Emergency induction port."

"Uh, okay then. Have fun with that induction straw." Vinyl then lifted the glass up, and gulped it down in one swig. I sipped on mine through the straw. Vinyl already looked tipsy, she couldn't stand still. As for the cider, it was okay. It tingled on my tongue and tasted sweet, kind of like a soda. Vinyl got another drink, and again, she drank all of it in one go. I wonder how she does that. She was clearly drunk, she wobbled more than a top spun by an armless man. "Heeeey, Neon, could you put more of the stuff where the thing where stuff goes in."

"You seem to be drunk eno-" I stopped talking once I noticed that she just ran somewhere into the crowd. If only I cared enough to actually do something. Eh, at this point she's probably gotten drunk many times. With the lack of religion here, alcoholism isn't as bad, not only that, it seems that the study of magic and science seem to rule out as the advancing factor. It's almost like Rapture, no religion, no government, just education for the future. I suppose there's more to this world than I thought. And maybe more than that. Dark secrets. Forbidden knowledge. Magic can be considered power here, and some will deem certain power to much, and locked up. And I want to know what those secrets are. Every person has a secret, it's what you do with is what matters. Though I have no intention of turning evil, that doesn't mean I follow the law. There's different, 'alignments', if you will. It's a grid with lawful, neutral, and chaotic on one side, then good, neutral, and evil on the other. An example of lawful good would be Twilight, always on the morally right side of things. A true neutral person would be a pony that has no side, such as Derpy. Chaotic evil would be Discord, then neutral evil Trixe, then lawful evil Chrysalis.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Despite what everyone else does, I classify people into these moral standpoints. I personally are chaotic good, which means I will go against the law to do what's right. And learning these secrets could help me save others. Like in that fight with a griffon. I only won because Luna was there. She gave hope and spirit. What would happen if I lost and Luna wasn't there? I would dead, and the griffins wouldn't have slowed the humans down enough to force them back. We would all be dead. Same thing with a lot of all my battles, I have to rely on others to help. And I can't have that. Too much of a liability. While I plan to learn about the more powerful branches of magic, it won't be today. For now, I have no one to fight or protect. But if I don't get stronger, ponies will die. And I know Celestia won't see this the same way as me. What happens if I get beat? And there were ponies I was protecting? Celestia and her blindness will cost her. She had to have made mistakes before, and I bet she just covered them.

Maybe I'm just overthinking this. I will admit I'm skeptical of Celestia, but I'm not sure on how far I will go. Such questions cannot be answered in one night. I then realized that I've been standing here for a while, deep in thought. The crowd looked thinner. The population for this event reduced numbers by a modifier of about twenty percent. And that percentage quickly rose, I could see groups of ponies regularly leaving the town hall. This party must be coming to a close. Good, my ears have taken enough abuse from the ground-shaking wubs that have been blaring through the speakers. That reminds me, where did Vinyl runoff to? As I turn to look for her, she appears out of nowhere and kisses me. I push her off from the sudden embrace, and ask,

"I'm getting rather tired, now would be a good time to head to your place, since others are leaving, also."

"Maaaan, you-you're like, a party pooper man, it's like... obhhh," Vinyl replied. She then grew a devious grin. "I get it, sexy bed things, I never knew you were like dat."

"I assure you none of what you're thinking is going to happen. And I'm not 'like dat', as you might think. Are you even going to remember any of this tomorrow?"

"Heeeeey, remember that one time I took photos of you when you were sleeping? Duuuude, you were like, cute and stuff.... *Belch*. I think that Flutters said something about saying you looked like you needed a hug when sleeping..." Okay, that's just creepy. And somewhat doubtful. I think it's more of something she wanted to do, but never did. Though that won't stop from me asking her about it when she's not drunk out of her mind. Vinyl then dropped to the floor, a smile plastered to face, and her tongue sticking out. Her hair was a wild mess, and her glasses were awkwardly positioned over her face. If this were a story that an English teacher was using as an example as figurative language, the teacher would say something like, 'By mentioning of the glasses and their location, the author was implying that Vinyl has changed for the worst, and her life is in disarray.' but what it really means is, 'She was fucking drunk.'

No, I never really did like English as a kid. But back to dragging Vinyl out of here. My abilities of levitation are better than they were, but I don't think I could lift Vinyl yet. I looked around for Twilight, who I was hoping would teleport us to Vinyl's house. The crowd had thinned out considerably, but Pinkie was still dancing her flank off in the middle of the room. After a few more moments of searching, I found Twilight talking to Rarity, or more like having a monologue. Rarity didn't speak, and seemed wholly uninterested. I could find Twilight so easily because Rarity was clearly the brightest pony here, she wore a dress that glowed in purple and white. Because of that, she stood out from all the other ponies here. As I walked up to them, dragging a passed-out Vinyl on the floor with me, I heard Twilight's conversation.

"Can you believe that? All those clothes you make can be made perfectly and many times over very cheaply with machines that the humans have made!" Huh, so it seems Rarity must not want to listen to Twilight because she's upset all her hard work can be beaten by the press of a button, but Rarity wasn't rude enough to just leave Twilight. People have to remember something, in the end, technology will always win. I tapped on Twilight's shoulder, interrupting her sentence.

"Yo, can you teleport us to her house. Oh, and make sure to tell Rarity about the large amount of culture and different style clothes have popped up because of technology," I asked Twilight. I don't want Rarity hate technology, so I'll have Twilight tell her about something good that Rarity would like.

"Oh, yeah, Rarity, you'll love this, did you know that this whole party is based on a subculture that originated from a global digital world. It's called cyberpunk, or something like that. Am I right, Neon?"

"Close enough, now, the teleport."

"Oh yeah, sorry." Twilight's horn glowed its soft purple, and I flashed out of the party, and into a dark living room. Based on the size, I can tell this is Vinyl's living room. Strange, I didn't know that these lights could even turn off. I expelled a steady amount of magic through my horn, just enough to dimly light the place up. As I looked over at Vinyl, who was still passed-out by my hooves, the one adjective I could describe her with, would be cute. Maybe it was the way her tongue stuck out, or her messed up hair, but she did look cute like that. Since I was in the living room, her bed would be up a flight of stairs. Yeah, no, cute or not, I'm not dragging her upstairs. I lifted her up using a combination of my arms and magic, and threw her on the nearest couch. She slept through it all, not a single hint of her even remotely waking up. She then unconsciously repositioned herself and yawned. The act made me realize that I was tired also, too tired to crawl up the stairs. I trudged over to another couch, laid down, and closed my eyes. All thought ceased as soon as my eyes closed.

Chapter 47: Hacking+wubs on Earth

I slept peacefully, nothing disturbing me. As the sun rose, a sliver of light crawled across my face. I squirmed, and turned over. The light woke me up, but I didn't feel like leaving the warmth of the couch. Then a loud series of wubs broke the silence, and shook the ground. The peacefulness was lost in a flood of music notes. The sudden burst of music caught me off guard, causing me to fall to the fall. The ground was still shaking, and I slid over into the kitchen because of that. I grabbed onto the table, and pulled myself up. Vinyl was standing next to her dishwasher, bobbing her head to the beats. It was clear that the sound originated from the dishwasher. Why am I not surprised.

"VINYL!" I screamed over the noise.

"Oh, you're up!" Vinyl screamed back.

"Did you expect me to sleep through this!?"

"What? I can't hear you over my wubwasher. This thing cleans dishes at a microscopic level!"

"Turn it off!"

"It's already at eleven, it won't go any higher!" Okay, this isn't working. I used magic and turned the knob on the wubwasher down to zero. The machine turned off, allowing me to stand up and fix my hair.

"Do you really have to do that now?"

"Aww, I was listening to that. I guess not, I don't really use dishes much anyway. Hey, and I think I managed to drunk teleport myself home."

"No, that was me asking Twilight. What did you do before I got here?"

"Eh, I always found myself either on the food table, in a dumpster, or in the middle of a strip poker game."

"Wha... strip poker...? But... you don't even wear clothes..."

"That's what I said! The game make no sense!"

"And I don't even want to know about the dumpsters. But that's beside the point, you should pack a few things for a trip to Earth." Vinyl simply nodded, and trotted upstairs.

"Ah, the human planet. Can I join thou, sir Blaze?" Said a voice from behind me. I could easily tell who it was from the mannerisms.

"Luna," I said as I turned around. "What are you doing here? Isn't this invasion of privacy, or something like that?"

"Silly human, privacy isn't important in Equestria. As for why I'm here, I was just leaving the town hall since I woke up, and I saw madame Scratch's house. I then remembered you said something to madame Hooves about going back to Earth with madame Scratch. So, can I join thee in the expedition to Earth?"

"Wait wait wait, slow down. How long have you been here?"

"Oh, an hour maybe. I've learned to wait for long periods of times."

"An... hour?"

"Yes, you looked quite cute sleeping." My eye twitched. Does everybody think that I look cute sleeping? That's just creepy.

"Wait, what were you still doing here, in Ponyville?"

"Oh yes, I had an excessive intake of cider last night. Coherent thought wasn't possible, and I passed out." She's very unprincesslike. Must be rebellion from her sister. Vinyl was upstairs, packing a few things, she didn't know of Luna.

"Besides the fact that you watched me sleep, I'm not bringing you to Earth. Maybe another day, but right now I just want it to be Vinyl and me." Luna put on a sad expression.

"Oh, I understand. Another time, then. Bye for now, Neon." She then teleported out of here. Vinyl then trotted down the stairs, completely oblivious of the fact that Luna was just here. As Vinyl walked up to me.

"Dude, do you like, ever smile?" Vinyl asked.

"What kind of question is that?" I replied.

"Oh, come on." Vinyl used magic and forced my mouth into a smile. "Better."

"Ifffff, you're going to phlay like that," I said. I can't speak right when Vinyl's holding my mouth like that. I used my magic to tickle her belly. She laughed and let go of me. I continued the assault until she was on the floor, rolling around. I stopped, and she took a deep breath.

"Heh, okay okay, you win this time."

Right upstairs, in Vinyl's bedroom.

Luna was standing in the room, not making a sound. She found Vinyl's bag, lying on her bed. Luna then transformed into a rock and hid herself in the bag, but not before silently giggling to herself.

Random intermission.

"What are you even the princess of?" Asked Celestia. Her and Cadence were sitting at a table, sipping tea.

"I'm the princess... of... love?" Cadence replied.

"Love... Say, do you like, mmmmm, bananas?"

"Huh?"

"I said, are you a bee-yetch, that likes, mmmm bananas?"

"I don't get what-"

"So you're a bitch that likes bananas?"

"They're okay, but I-"

"So, you are, a bitch, that likes, bananas."

"I-I guess so, but that's kinda rude..."

"What about love bananas?"

"I don't know what those ar-"

"You like to make love, with, mmmmm, bananas."

"N-no, I don't..." The floor beneath Cadance's chair opened up, making her fall into a cannon. The ceiling above the cannon then opened also, as the cannon rose upwards.

"WELL, THERE'S NO LOVE ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAAA! BEE-YETCH!" As Celestia yelled that, Cadance got blown out of the cannon, and headed straight for the moon.

Random intermission over.

"We... should've... gotten... a cart." Vinyl said between breaths. Vinyl and I were headed for Canterlot, on hoof. Vinyl had a large bag strapped to her side. I didn't need to bring anything with me, so I wasn't carrying anything. "Ughhh, how much farther?"

"We've only been walking for five minutes. You shouldn't have packed so much," I replied.

"Why don't you be a gentlecolt, and carry my bags?"

"Not my problem, and you should know better than to consider me a gentlecolt."

"Okay, granted, but still, I know I didn't so much stuff into this thing, it couldn't be this heavy."

"Well, it's not like you packed rocks or anything. Wait, you didn't pack rocks, right?"

"No, I'm not stupid. This bag is just heavier than I'd thought it be.

"Thought? You made estimations on the weight of that container using separate objects and simple addition?"

"Well, not really. Are we there yet?"

"If you start that, I'm leaving you naked in the middle of McDonald's when you're sleeping."

"Uh, point taken. Here's a question for you: How long have humans been around?"

"No one really knows, but the homo genus was created about two point three million years ago. But that's just a theory for now. We know it's at least two million years old, but humans are just part of the genus. But if that doesn't answer your question, the first humans that looked like modern humans existed about about 200,000 years ago. Another cool thing about that, humans are the only living branch of the homo genus."

"That almost made sense. How do you know so much about this topic?"

"Wikipedia. I spend a lot of time of Wikipedia."

"Uh, what is Wikipedia?"

"Website that shares information on everything, I'll show you it later."

"I still find it amazing that humans can create so many complex objects and use it to their benefit."

"Well it's not like they're going to use tech to their disadvantage."

"You know what I mean. Can you imagine what Equestria could do if it were to combine all that tech with magic?"

"Yeah, you would live in a monotone society where fun ceases to exist."

"You've probably thought this out, I won't doubt you on that. But still, how did the humans get so far with tech?"

"I could ask why Equestria hasn't gotten very far with it. But he main difference is, I live in a free, science and math based world. You live in a controlled world based on magic."

"I need to throw a pie at one of those politicians you hate so much."

"I don't even want to know what line of thought brought you to having that idea."

"Oh look, I can see Canterlot!"

"How? We're nowhere near Canterlot."

"Oh, and now it's gone. Must have been a mirage."

"How can you be having mirages? You're not starving or thirsty."

"Meh, let's discuss music."

"So wait, the princess is named after a music thing?" Vinyl asked, when I mentioned that Cadance used to be Cadence, and that a Cadence is a sequence of notes in music that ends a musical phrase.

"Can't you read music?"

"Uh, not really. Too much work."

"Yet you're a DJ."

"I know what the buttons do, I just can't understand music notes. 'Tavi can, though."

"You were there, at the royal wedding, weren't you?"

"Yeah, everypony was there."

"So you heard them singing?"

"Jess."

"Then why didn't you know that Cadance was a changeling?"

"How would I be able to know that with them singing?"

"Because when Chrysalis sung, she had a deceptive cadence in her song. Really, ponies like you and Octavi should have figured that out when they were singing."

"Okay fine, smarty pants, why didn't you save her?"

"I really don't care what happens to her. I hate royalty enough."

"Why?"

"It's unfair, you don't get a chance or choice. You might be the best princess ever, but you're not in that family, so it wouldn't matter."

"What about Luna? You seem friends with her."

"I must've said that wrong thing. I hate the system, not the people."

"Then why don't you like Cadance...?"

"I have my reasons. Look, we've made it to Canterlot." I said as we passed through the city entrance. Many unicorns were shuffling around the city, wearing their fancy clothes.

"Finally. Now that we're here, let's quickly head to Earth. I can't stand the snooty ponies here."

"It's not like I was planning a vacation here. The MTSC is right over there, about twenty yards that way."

"I need a pet."

"What? Why would you bring that up now?"

"I dunno, I just have a sudden urge to get a pet."

"And I assume you want me to get you one."

"Are pets legal on Earth?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean I can get one?"

"I guess I could bring you to a pet shop."

"Yay." We stopped next to the the underground storage entrance.

"Down here," I said as I opened the doors and stepped inside. The portal was on, since I never turn it off. I really need to stop leaving it on. "Female gender first."

"Uh, right." Vinyl then stepped into the portal, and I followed close by.

The world materialized in front of me, revealing my dark living room. It seemed the house was empty, except Vinyl who's standing near me, though a bit tipsy.

"Whoa, still not used to that," Vinyl said.

"It gets better. Though I wonder what happened to the others. They must've gone home. I see you're still wearing my old clothes."

"Wha? Oh, yeah."

"Let's visit a clothes store, come on, I'll drive you there."

"Like the bootathingy Rarity has?"

"Not quite. You'll understand when you get there. It's about one P.M., so we can leave now."

"Man, it's dark." Vinyl walks up to one of the window blinds, and pulls on the string. Light burst into the room, making me shield my eyes.

"Sssss," I hiss.

"Oh, now you're just exaggerating."

"I dislike light. Seeing it in a place like this is unnatural." Vinyl rolled her eyes.

"Cool story, bro. Let's get going."

"Fine, have you ridden in a car yet?"

"I don't remember if I did." I walked into the kitchen as she talked. My eyes scanned the blue bar, and I came across my car keys. Why do I even have a car? I don't go anywhere. I sometimes forget I even have one. As I walk back into the living room, I took note of Vinyl's hair. She'll... stand out in crowds, to say the least.

"This way." I lead Vinyl out to my garage, which housed a generic car that I stole from some rich politician. This happened a few years ago, it's a blurry memory by now. I really should stop stealing things, but then again, I've saved America more than once. If they only knew all the stealth missile strikes that happen every month. Good think they all fall into the ocean, and get crushed under the pressure of the water. It's almost to the point of me laughing every time I wreck a group of those 700,000 dollar missiles they're watching fall into the ocean. So sad too, that money could've been spent on science. Maybe I'll redirect a missile back at the people who sent, then disarm it at the last second. Just to scare them. I pressed a button on the car remote, and the doors clicked open. Vinyl slid in, quickly guessing the correct way to open the door. Or just by accident. I slid in next to her, in the driver's seat, and started the car. St the sudden chug of the engine, Vinyl leaped up and grabbed onto the seat behind her. I rolled my eyes.

"W-what's that?"

"Sit down, you look ridiculous like that." Vinyl calmed down, and returned to her seat. "The noise is from the engine. It works by blowing stuff up, and using the energy to shift pistons around. That's why it makes that sound."

"Meh, lost interest. Ooooh, buttons." Vinyl then started rubbing her hands all over the colorful buttons, until I slapped her away.

"Don't touch those, please."

"Hem," Vinyl pouted. I left my home, and headed down the right road. The nearest Clothes store should be a few minutes out, in the local mall. The neighborhood I lived in was quiet, I didn't see anyone enter or exit.

"Vinyl," I said, breaking the silence. "I think you will need a haircut to blend in better. And a more natural hair color."

"Nope, nopony is touching my hair."

"Normal human hair isn't blue."

"Say it's been dyed."

"I guess that could work, but your hair would only work if you slathered about three pounds of gel into that thing." The large mall arrived quickly, having a mostly-filled parking lot. I parked near the end, and strode into the mall with Vinyl at my side. She got a few looks, most from old people. But she seemed oblivious.

"Ever notice the high male population here? How do humans not overpopulate?"

"The male population isn't high here, it's 100:101 male to female in large cities. And we just don't live as long as magical ponies."

“This place is boring, nopony smiles around here.”

“Up the moving stairs,” I directed Vinyl. She glanced at the escalator.

“Moving stairs? That. Is. AWESOME!” Vinyl then leaped onto the first step, and started running up it. Once she reached halfway, she started going back down. She managed to stay in place by running down a going up escalator. Everyone around her looked at her strangely. I facepalmed, and got onto the escalator to stop her. It’s going to be a long day.

Chapter: 48 Wub to hack

Back at Dylan's house.

"So... much... dubstep," Luna said as she transformed human and and crawled out of Vinyl's bag. "Whatever happened to the days of opera and the lute? Oh well, I can't control society. I think this house is empty, I waited for sir Neon and his friend to leave. And I'm talking aloud. I really should stop doing that, it is a nasty habit I picked up while trapped on the moon. The moon, I wonder what that's like on Earth. I wonder if I can control it. If I can control it, the humans might answer to me. I can imagine all that power, enough to overthrow my sister. Heh. Ha. Muahahaha. Earth shall be mine! No longer will the ponies fear me, they will all be slaves under this new power! They've all spent their whole life learning to hate and fear me, and I've had enough of it." Luna grew a devious grin, and slowly morphed into a human version of Nightmare Moon. Jet black wings formed on her back. Her hair went down to her neck and turned a dark violet. He clothes burnt into medieval body armor reminiscent of the kind the pony Nightmare Moon wore. Luna then fell to the ground, quickly changing back to normal. She breathed heavily as she tried to recover herself. "What, what happened? Where did that sudden urge come from? Nightmare Moon is gone! She's trapped on the moon in Equestria. Could she be channeling her energy to Earth's moon? This hasn't happened before, and I can't let it happen at all."

"Neon... Neon... ooooh, Neeeeeooooon," Vinyl said as she waved her hand in front of my face. We were heading toward the clothes shop, when I just felt 'something'. Like some kind of magical pressure. Only now it's gone.

"I'm fine," I replied. Something really powerful and close by was on Earth, then just left.

"Man, it's cold here. It's suppose to be summer, how is it not hot?"

"Large devices that take in air, cool it down, then shoot it back out. Really nice to have. We even have a similar device that makes the air warmer."

"So... no Winter Wrap-up? Yeah, it's work and all, but still, I like the singing and everything just looks amazing."

"What? No, we don't have that. No one randomly bursts out in song. There's still snow, albeit rarely in this part of Earth. You'll have to go farther north for snow."

"Wait, north? Why?"

"Because it's farther from the equator, which means it's colder."

"Uh, there's no such thing as that in Equestria. Temperature doesn't change where you go, dude. You have a strange system here."

"I have a strange system! You're weather system is about as logical as a trampoline that shoots poorly-drawn penguins!"

"Like, dude, your sun and moon move on their own. That's just not normal."

"There's this thing called gravity. Equestria has it because you are all standing on it, and not floating off into space. The Earth orbits the sun, and the moon the Earth. Doesn't that make sense?"

"How does that make any sense? That's like making wubs with a lyre. Do you really think that the giant rock we call the moon would spin around Equestria? That would take a lot of gravity, so much it would crush us all!"

"You have very little mass! The moon has a lot of mass! Of course the moon's going to be revolving Equestria since it's making enough gravity itself."

"Pfft, you and your science. Weight doesn't make gravity. Magic does."

"But! But! I... Our planets are only a few solar systems apart, physics can't be THAT different. They can't be different at all!"

"I have one word for you: Pinkie Pie." As I tried to rebuttal, I realized that my argument was lost. Science can't beat Pinkie Pie.

"In here," I directed Vinyl. We walked into a Macy's store, which was the biggest clothes shop here.

"Man, this is a lot bigger than the carousel boutique." So is my dick... Ha.

"Yeah, just don't talk to anyone else here."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Just... you tend to stand out here. And remember, you need to keep your clothes on at all times, it's literally the law."

"Whatevs."

"There's a simple organization system that makes use of the mathematical law of trichotomy to organize items, and therefore, you should read the signs to find- Vinyl?" I asked when I glanced back at her. She had walked off. And I had no idea where she went. I hate it when she does this. I continued down the pathway, looking for signs of her in each aisle. Currently, I'm in the generic women's clothes section. Vinyl would wear something sporty, maybe? It's hard to tell when ponies don't normally wear clothes. Or maybe she'll pick something more retro, I just don't know. I followed the red carpeted path, until I came across someone's head poking out of the rows of clothes that looked like Vinyl's. I walked up to her, and tapped on her shoulder. She turned her head to me, and said,

"Yo, found something I like." That was quick. She held up a black leather jacket at me.

"You do know those are made from cows, right? They have to skin the cows, then dry the leather." Vinyl's already pale face went even whiter.

"That's... that can't be legal."

"Don't worry, the cows here aren't intelligent. They act like every other animal on Earth. And even then, that's probably not real leather. Pseudo-leather would be close enough and much cheaper to make." A more humanlike color returned to her face.

"Uh, on second thought, I'll get this." Vinyl grabbed and showed me a black and white fleece hoodie. "So, can you buy it?"

"Buy? Uh, right, sure, 'buy'. You can have it."

"Awesome. Now, let's see... pants... pants... pants..." Vinyl looked across the store, until coming across an aisle that had many stylized pairs of jeans. "Oooh, I do like whatever the heck the pants I'm wearing are made of, I could use more of these. Though a bit less plain."

"It's called, 'denim'."

"Do you always have to do that?"

"Yes, it kills me when someone doesn't know something."

"Meh." Vinyl threw the jacket over her back and walked over to the jeans section she had her eyes on. The store was rather empty, maybe thirty or so people on this floor. I followed her, and by the time I caught up with her, she found a thin pair of black jeans.

"Okay, that was quick," I said as I walked up to her. This must be a natural instinct for girls, I could never find clothes that quickly. Vinyl tossed them over her shoulder like the jacket, and walked off again. She expertly made her way to the women's shirts section, and dove into the rows of shirts. How did she find that section so quickly? I jogged over to her, as she shifted through numerous styles of shirts and fabrics. She held one up to me.

"I like this..."

"Outside of that being extremely ironic, that wouldn't really be a good idea to wear your own t-shirt. I can imagine a flashmob of bronies crowding around you, admiring you cosplaying."

"Oh, yeah I guess it would be better to not tell everypony I'm DJ-PON3. Uh, what about this?"

She showed me a white cropped tank top. Based on my estimated measurements, that would show a lot of midriff.

"That's banned in a lot of schools, and not really worn much in public. Most people think it's too revealing."

"And you?"

"My opinion is neutral. Nudity is only considered bad because we live in a christian society. I don't care for society or other people’s opinion."

"I'll just take that as, you like it. I don't like clothes much, but these styles and fabrics are really nice." Considering how most ponies don't wear clothes, I can't judge them by what they wear. "So, where can I try these on? I would guess that I can't just start changing right here." That's probably the most inferencing she's ever done.

"Follow me, we passed a changing station a few minutes back." I started walking back up the aisle, then up the pathway. Vinyl had all of her clothes over her shoulder as she jogged up to me. I stopped as we stood in front of the door to the women's changing rooms. "I'll wait here for you."

"Uh, why can't you come with me?"

"It's not co-ed. I can't go in there."

"I don't how to put these clothes on."

"It's not that hard."

"Dude, I'm not good with fingers. I haven't had my whole life to learn how to use them. Now, stop being such a wuss, there's nopony even in there. This place is pretty much empty..."

"I don't... It won't end well if someone finds me."

"Ugh, I don't feel like talking you into this." Vinyl grabbed my hand, and forcibly dragged me into the vacant changing rooms. I struggled to get out of her killer grip, but to no avail. I thought I was stronger than this. I fell to the floor as Vinyl continued to drag me. This would be awkward if anyone ever saw this. She opened the first room, and dragged me inside. As she closed the door, I brushed off dust on my shorts.

"Not cool. I will remember this."

"You get to see a girl naked, and you say I'll regret giving you the chance?"

"Since the invention of the Internet, seeing girls naked isn't much of an achievement."

"Oh, so pixels on a screen are just as good as a real, warm, alive girl instead?"

"I dunno, HD can be pretty realistic. There's even 3D pornography now. Hard to compete with that," I teased.

"Is that a challenge?" Vinyl put on her iconic smile. My eyes went wide, and a visible blush went across my face.

"Uh... I..." I mumbled, flustered at what she said.

"Heh," Vinyl chuckled because of my reaction. I looked down, trying to avert her gaze. Vinyl, content that she won, started taking off her shirt. I then remembered something, she wasn't wearing a bra nor underwear. I forgot about undergarments.

"Uh, I'll b-be right back. You need under clothes." I then quickly left the changing rooms, and took a deep breath of air. I've taken down entire swat teams with traps I've placed, talked down multiple people from shooting me, and I get nervous when a hot girl says what Vinyl just said. I shook off the feeling, and went over to the women's underwear section, picked up generic white bra and panties, but then put them back. I then grabbed light blue versions of them, they seem more Vinyl like. Oh, they also seemed to glow-in-the-dark, since that's what it says on the box. Why does it feel like Vinyl's going to have fun with these? Whatever, I brought the additional clothing articles back to the changing rooms, and slipped into the one Vinyl was in. She had her shirt off, though seemed to be having trouble getting the button undone on her jeans. Yes, her boobs were showing. Just to be clear. Despite how asexual I am, I had to admit, she was hot. Not sure if curves, or symmetry. Possibly how tone she is around the arms and midriff. Legs also tone, could be the nice harmony created when similar hues of skin and muscle types are in sync with- Wait, am I scientifically analyzing Vinyl as to why she's hot? Man, I'm a nerd.

"Dude, little help," Vinyl commanded me as she stopped trying to undo the pants button. Glad I didn't have a boner. I grabbed the front of her jeans, and undid the button, then the zipper. The pants fell to her feet, and she kicked them off, leaving a completely naked Vinyl standing in front of me. I handed her the box of light blue panties.

"Here, you'll need these."

"Hmm? What are they?"

"Underwear, you're suppose to wear it under your pants, for some reason. I forget which reason, though."

"Eh, okay. At least they're in my color." Vinyl grabbed the box, took out the panties, and slipped them on. So many people would be jealous of me if they ever found out about this.

"Oh, and this bra, also."

"Uh, okay." I handed her the bra, and she just stared at in confusion. "What... is that?"

"You put it over your chest."

"Ooooooh." She then grabbed it, and slid it on herself backwards, and upside down.

"No, like this." I fixed it for her so that she wore it correctly, then I buttoned the straps. "Okay, you can try on either the pants or shirt now."

"Kay." Vinyl picked up the black jeans, and hopped into them. She then pulled them around her waist, and fumbled with the button again. I sighed.

"Let me do it." I zipped up her pants and pushed the button into the button slot. Vinyl reached for the shirt, slipped it on, and pulled her arms out. And lastly, she slid the jacket over her arms and didn't touch the zipper nor the hood on it. Vinyl's eyes looked at herself in the mirror, giving an obvious face of approval.

"Now, this is cool, dude." I rolled my eyes, then grabbed her other clothes, and walked out of the women changing rooms. Vinyl strolled out in a brisk wall. As we walked toward the exit of the store, I took out my phone and turned off the scanner machines at the entrance so they alarms won't go off when Vinyl leaves. We walked through the doors, and as we did, I said,

"I thought that'd be a lot harder."

"Oh no, dude, we got to explore the rest of the mall." I mentally sighed. It really is going to be a long day.

Chapter 49: The past should stay in the past

"Toaster. Microwave. Countertop oven," I informed Vinyl as she pointed to every shiny thing in the kitchen appliance store. Vinyl stood there, in her new clothes, and pressed every button and turned every knob. She had a childlike curiosity when it came to shiny things. The people around her stopped to stare at her for a few seconds, then looked away and walked off. "Vinyl, we've spent the last two hours here, with you messing with every input device you could find. Let's head home." Vinyl's mouth started to open, but was interrupted with a stomach growl that originated from her. It almost felt like an anime, where for some unknown reason, all the people nearby would start awkwardly laughing, and I'd be like, 'Why...? Who would laugh when this happens? Being hungry isn't funny!'

"Uh, could we grab a bite before heading back?" Vinyl asked. The only thing at the mall are fast-food restaurants. And that involves talking to people to get stuff.

"No."

"Dude, I have no money."

"And to get food involves talking to other people."

"And...?"

"You know I dislike people."

"Then I'll order the food."

"That... I don't think that will end well."

"Why? What could happen?"

"You have a tendency to get impatient when dealing with idiots."

"It's called fast-food, it won't take long."

"Fine. I suppose I haven't eaten... well, since yesterday. I need to remember to consume energy routinely."

"I'll remind you not to starve yourself. Now, this way, I can smell the french fries from here." Vinyl then walked out of the store, as I followed just far enough behind so that people wouldn't associate me with her. Yeah, I'm a horrible boyfriend. Deal with it.

"Hey! Skinny dude! Wait up!" Some random guy said as he ran up to me. I continued to walk forward, ignoring his existence. Once the guy caught up with me, he walked with me. "Remember me?" I remained silent, in hopes of him going away. "Okay then, well, I sure as heck know you. Come on, don't tell me you don't remember your 'ol friend Johnny." He wore army cargo pants and a generic red shirt.

"I have no friends," I replied.

"Heh, you sure acted like it. So, who's the hot chick you're stalking?" I stopped and turned to him. As I glared, I harshly said,

"I don't know who you are, so stop pretending to know me. And don't talk about Vinyl like that. She's a lot more than just a 'hot chick'."

"Oh, you really don't remember me, do you?" I started walking away.

"No, now go." But alas he kept walking beside me.

"Come on, I was the kid who always tried to talk to you, back when we were in the orphanage. But you always want, 'Leave me alone, I have things to learn.' So antisocial." Oh no. Him. I glanced over at him, to find vague pictures flashing through my mind of a kid that looks a lot like him sitting next to me when I was about eight or so. His distinctive red, straight hair and small face made me realize the connection.

"I hated that place. I wanted it to burn. I don't want to dig up old memories, leave."

"Always so cynical. Only a few kids picked on you, yet you acted like they all did. You were only isolated because you never let anyone be your friend. But the past is over, let's catch up on each other's lives. I hope you know that after ran away, everyone wanted you back. People were sad for weeks. Like it or not, but people did care for you, even if they didn't show it."

"This conversation is over." I then walked fast enough to catch up to Vinyl. "Hey, Vinyl, use this and get me a hamburger and you can have whatever you want," I said as I handed her my hacked credit card. "Bring the food back to this table." I then sat down at the nearest table as she went off to get the food.

"So, your cute friend's name is Vinyl? Not bad," Johnny said as he sat down next to me, me being completely unaware of him doing it.

"I've repressed as much as my past as I could. Don't bring it back."

"Heh, that's Dylan for ya. I know you had it hard. But I don't want to talk about the past. Tell me, what happened after you left?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Uh, okay. So, where'd you meet Vinyl?"

"Again, I'm not telling you. Though for a completely different reason."

"Secretive, are we? What's your career then?"

"Stop asking questions. I don't wan-"

"Who's the new dude?" Vinyl asked as she walked up to the table and placed a tray down.

"He was just leaving."

"Oh no I'm not." He is really persistent. "I haven't seen you in a decade, no one has. I'm still in contact with most of the orphans."

"Orphans? Who was an orphan?" Vinyl inquired.

"So, the antisocial genius didn't tell you."

"He doesn't really talk about his past much."

"I'm right here," I interrupted. I can tell by Vinyl's expression she didn't want to hurt me by talking about it.

"All the better. Since you're so reluctant to share anything, I'll start," Johnny said. "I never did get adopted, but I started selling artwork, people took note, and I got hired as a graphic designer for a large company. Once I was seventeen, I had already found an apartment and was living there alone. I actually just got a house a few months ago. Still haven't found a girl yet."

"So, you're an artist? That sounds awesome! Draw us draw us!" Vinyl said as she started unwrapping her hamburger.

"I will, but now it's Dylan's turn to tell us what he's been doing. I'd say a software engineer. You've always a strange obsession with numbers. And based on how pale and weak you look, I'd say you spend all day in front of a computer."

"Stop trying to guess my life," I said.

"Then tell me."

"I told you, I can't and you wouldn't believe me."

"Fine, have it your way. Hey, Vines', how'd you meet Dylan?"

"We were at a party, he was tied up in rope. I helped him out, he seemed like a fun guy, so I asked him out," Vinyl said. I dodged a bullet there. No mention of Ponyville or Equestria.

"Uh, I really don't want to know the context." Vinyl started to loudly chew on her burger.

"Sharp teeth are weird," Vinyl said with a mouthful of burger.

"Have fun with that, Vines'," Johnny said as he turned to me. "Why are you so secretive? What aren't you telling me?"

"You don't need to know my life," I replied. "Every second you're here, is every second my past gets brought up. I hate the past."

"Always such a downer. The only reason I'm here at the mall is to waste time. Why are you her?"

"To find me new clothes," Vinyl said with a mouthful of french fries.

"I can see you're wearing them now. Not bad. Though, there has to be a bigger reason. I'm sure clothes for just you wouldn't be enough for Dylan to drive all the way here and have to talk to people." A little time with Vinyl is all I wanted. Why is that so hard? I glared at Johnny in the awkward silence. I wanted him gone. "Geez, you and that glare of yours." He then took out a pen, and started doodling on a nearby napkin. "I suppose I'll let you get back on that date with the blue-haired chick. Here, in case you ever need help." Johnny handed me the napkin, which had a simple drawing of me and Vinyl, me being all grumpy and Vinyl smiling next to me. A phone number was also at the bottom of the paper. Johnny stood up, and walked off with his hands in his pocket. I was about to crumple the paper up, but Vinyl snatched it out of my hands.

"Oh no you don't, I wanna see what's here," Vinyl said as she examined the napkin. "He really nailed your personality. We look cute together."

"Not funny."

"You haven't touched your food yet." I looked down at the table. My hamburger was untoched. I must've forgot. I unwrapped it and started lightly chewing on it. At this point, Vinyl was scarfing down my fries also. She should at least add ketchup.

"But... I want it..." Vinyl said

"This is absurd." I replied

"I still want it."

"I'm not sure if that's even a good idea."

"But it looks so cool!" A brief pause lingered. As I looked over the blue carpet, the shelves and walls lined with movie cases, I glanced back at the movie Vinyl wanted to see. It was the 2011 prequel, The Thing. It just had to be a horror movie that she wanted.

"I really don't want to watch it..."

"So, you're chicken?"

"That strategy doesn't work on me. You lived in a place that doesn't have movies. When movies were first invented here, it was a simple, short clip of a train leaving the station. Everyone in the theater freaked out, and thought the train was going to hit them, even though it wasn't real. You have just as much of experience in films as those people. Now, this isn't a slow-frame rate, black and white, clip about something we've all been around and know what they are. I think this movie will scar you for life if you watch it... Vinyl?"

"Huh, wha? Oh! Sorry, dozed off. You were saying something about strategy?" I threw my hands up in the air.

"I give up! Grab it!" Vinyl smiled at her victory. I gotta stop letting her win. At the very least, Vinyl's going to be holding onto me all night... and possibly choking me as I try to escape from her killer grab.

"Okay, you got a movie, you got new clothes, we had lunch, what else?" I asked Vinyl as we aimlessly wandered around the mall.

"Let's switch the gender signs on bathroom doors."

"Vinyl, no."

"What about swimming in the water fountain?"

"No."

"Ride the elevator all day?"

"No!"

"Light garbage cans on fire?"

"NO!"

"Let all the birds in pet stores go free?"

"No! Stop it with these bad ideas!"

"Uh... throw ice cream cones at old people from above...?"

"This conversation is over."

"Okay okay, I guess there's nothing else to do. Home it is."

Chapter 50: Celestia's secret revealed

A/N: Damn... 50 chapters. +100,000 words. Never thought I'd get this far. Thanks to everyone who read my ramblings put into words. Speaking of that, be prepared for an extra-long chapter ahead. If it wasn't for you guys, this story would've been canceled at chapter 10, and forty chapters wouldn't have existed. Wish me luck to get to 100.

On the drive back, I thought about that strange burst of energy I felt back in the mall. The car was quiet, with the exception of Vinyl messing with the radio, jumping  from channel to channel. Think, what could that energy be? Could I have affected a certain event, that led to that energy? I cross-referenced recent events and the most likely outcome, to figure out what went strangely. Wait, that's it. Luna asked me if she could come with me, and stopped trying far too early. I almost wonder, could Luna have followed me here? Teleported? She did it before, but I only think she could because someone else teleported here first, and she grabbed onto the magic stream. How could she be here on Earth... That's it! She has the ability to transform herself, she could've taken something out of Vinyl's bag, and transformed into that object while inside. But I don't think she replaced the weight offset, I think she just jumped in, hence why Vinyl mentioned her bag being heavier than what she thought. So Luna is here. There's a method of travel, a reason, to explore Earth more, and it sounds like something she would do. Though, what I don't get is, what does Luna have to do with that energy pulse?

I don't know, but I plan to find out. I pull into the garage, turn the car off, and walk into the house. I gave the stop hand sign to Vinyl, and silently opened the door. The garage door led straight into the living room, and as predicted, Luna wasn't there. I bet she heard the car, and hid. If I was Luna, where would I hide in this context? She'd want to hide somewhere where she know's safe, like where she's hid before. Vinyl's bag. The bag was cleanly resting on the couch, in a different place and condition than Vinyl left it in. Gotcha, Luna. I walked over to the bag, and dumped it on the couch. Various items fell out, including a rock. Why a rock...? I held the rock up, and said,

"You're not fooling anyone, Luna." The rock remained the same. She's persistent. "Fine, have it your way. You wouldn't mind if put you between two large speakers and turned Vinyl's music up really loud?" The rock jumped out of my hand, and morphed into human Luna.

"Okay okay, sir Neon, thou hast won. I cannot take anymore torture from modern audio entertainment."

"Why are you here?" Luna started twiddling her hair.

"Uh, well, you see, I kinda wanted to see more of Earth, and I found the human's culture to be a subject of major interest."

"Of course. I'm not your guardian, and you won't survive here. In an integrated society like this one, you can't just appear and start living."

"Can I stay here?"

"No. But I have a feeling you're going to anyway."

"Thine knows me so well. Thou wouldn't leave me on streets?"

"As much as I'd like to, I know you're not going to leave, and I can't just kick you out." I sighed. "Fine, you can stay here."

"Yay, I promise I won't be loud, or in the way, you'll never even know I'm here. Where can I put my pet bats?"

"Pet... bats?"

"Yes, they are quite cute!" A bat suddenly appeared in her hands, and she petted it. It was cartoony and furry, with large white eyes.

"I'm pretty sure that doesn't count as animal. Also, why bats? Couldn't you get a kitten like normal people?"

"Bats stay up with me at night, and can fly with me. Plus, they're cuter. Thou want to pet it?"

"No, I don't want to touch that thing. On Earth, bats are covered in disease, suck blood, well, some do, and are scary. Most bats eat fruit, and the ones that suck blood only do it from farm animals such as cows and horses. And it never kills them, but still, I don't want bats here. Wait, where are you keeping the bats on you?"

"They're part of my clothes."

"That makes sense," I sarcastically retorted. "Just, keep them on you."

"Noted. Game of chess, sir Neon?"

"I guess, I don't really have anything else to do." About twenty bats came from behind Luna, and turned into a chess board with all the pieces. Of course. It had to be goddamn bats.

It's been a few minutes since we've started the game, and I can count at least twenty-seven times she's cheated. The bats are moving when they think I'm not looking. But even with her cheating, I'm still winning. She had a knight, rook, and two pawns left. I had a queen and a bishop. I know it might look like I'm losing, but I've taken account of her cheating, and put it into my strategy. I move my queen up one, pretend to sneeze, Luna moves it sideways in an attempt to get it knocked out, but this will open up her king for an attack with my bishop. And if she moved her king, my queen would be able to attack it in any other square. I started the process, and everything happened as I predicted it would.

"Check mate," I said as I knocked her trapped king over.

"B-but how!?" Luna asked.

"Cheating's no good if your opponent makes it part of his strategy."

"Well played, sir Neon. Despite my thousand years on the moon, you somehow still beat me." Thousand years on the moon, why does that phrase bug me? Oh yeah! That strange energy pulse from before. I completely forgot. Could I subconsciously be associating it with Nightmare Moon? Now that I think about it, it's possible the different moon could be having some sort of effect on Luna. Maybe she can somehow escape the moon she's banished to, and channeled herself to Earth's moon. And calling Luna. Luna seems fine for now, but I better keep an eye on her. Speaking of keeping eyes on things, where did Vinyl run off to? Leaving her alone in a house full of advanced tech isn't a good idea. I can't hear music, so she must not be on the sound system.

"Stay here, Luna." I walked away, and up the stairs. Luna followed. "What?"

"I want to play video games."

"Okay...?"

"Up the stairs then, I'm waiting." Pushy much? I walked the rest of the stairs, to hear repeated gunshots. Not like a real gun, but like from an assault rifle from a shooter game.

"It seems Vinyl is playing a game. You go join her, I need to do something else." I went down another hallway as Luna joined Vinyl in a game. I stepped into my room, and unlocked my computer. I pulled up schematics for an interactive hologram. It was a simple design, I just mod the Kinect, and connect the output with a hologram. This was something I've always wanted to use. A holographic display with hands as an input. I haven't touched this project in a while, but it'll be finished soon. I glanced over at the clock, it was about six P.M.

I picked my head up off my desk. A trail of silva was coming out of my mouth. I wiped it off, and glanced at the clock. 9 P.M. I must've dozed off. That's unlike me, but I guess I did get quite a lot done. Let's review; I finally got done the targeting parameters, it should be able to pick up hand and finger motions, I made a few more 3D vectors for menus and interfaces, and I implanted a networking port. I can start testing it now, but first, I wonder where Vinyl is. I doubt she's still playing games.

"Finally, dude, the movie. I've been waiting here, looking for raves nearby for the past thirty minutes," Vinyl said as she noticed me moving. I turned to her, to see her looking out a window. She leaned against the glass. A light drizzle coated the window. The moon was visible, and fairly low in the sky.

"What movie?" I asked.

"The Thing."

"What thing?"

"The Thing."

"No, what is the thing?"

"That's what the movie's called." Oooh, I remember now. Ugh, I don't feel like it.

"Another day."

"Nope."

"Tomorrow?"

"Right here, right now." It's clear I'm not getting out of this.

"I'm telling you this isn't a good idea."

"Don't care." Vinyl left the window, and pulled me out of my chair. She continued to drag me, until we were at the stairs.

"I can walk, you don't need to pull me." She let go, and I calmly walked downstairs. I don't watch a lot of movies, and horror is something I don't ever touch. This will be an interesting experience.

"Sound system is set up, Movie is in, the T.V. is set correctly, popcorn and drinks are available in short reach. I believe thats all of what you requested," I said to Vinyl as we sat down to watch the movie. The room was in total darkness, with the exception of the dim blue glow from the T.V, that illuminated Vinyl just enough so I could see her outline. As the movie started to play, I had one thought: What is Luna doing?

"Hehe, the night shall be filled with merriment!" Luna whispered to herself as she flew away on a cloud of cartoon bats. As she flew into the night, her eyes came across a stadium full of rapidly strobing lasers and loud wubs. People covered in neon rings were crowding around in the stadium. "Hmm, those colts and fillies seem to be having a bit too much fun..." Luna disappeared in a flash of black, and seconds later, bats flooded the stadium. People ran out, screaming and swatting bats out of their hair. Luna giggled to herself as she hid next to the exit.

Ponyville-- Rarity's boutique

"What do you mean, 'She's not here'?" Rarity asked Sweetie Belle.

"The DJ lady isn't in Ponyville, I don't know where she is," she replied.

"But then who shall be the musician for the party?!"

"I dunno, maybe we could get somepony from Canterlot. What about one of the ponies from The Gala?"

"No no, Pinkie will be here. I don't want another... event like before."

"Shinning, where is my sister?" Celestia asked Shinning Armor as she stood next to him, watching over the royal guards train.

"I don't know, I haven't seen her. Not even her personal guards know where she is," Armor replied. Celestia pondered over her sister's sudden disappearance.

"I hope she's okay..." Celestia whispered to herself.

"We. Will. Never. Speak of this. Ever. Again." I told Vinyl as the movie finished. Vinyl laid back and chuckled.

"I dunno, you screamed pretty hard back there. Remember when The Thing killed that person? You grabbed onto me for dear life. Also, I didn't know you could jump that high."

"What did I just say?"

"The movie wasn't that scary. You can let go of my hand now." I looked down at my hand, to find it still holding onto Vinyl's hand. I released my grip, wanting to forget the movie. I had no idea that it was that scary. Vinyl screamed about half as much as I did. I suddenly feel like less of a man. Oh well, I just don't want Vinyl to go around and telling everyone about this... event.

"Well then, it's late, I'll be heading to bed now."

"What's planned for tomorrow?"

"Just going places, looking at things, stuff like that."

"I love looking at things," Vinyl jokingly said. I went upstairs, with Vinyl following close behind. It was still dark, and I saw something move in the darkness. Must be my imagination. I went into my room, and Vinyl continued to follow me.

"Uh, what do need?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you here? You can go back to your own bed."

"You really want to sleep alone, unconscious, for eight hours, and in the dark? Something could attack you." As much as I'd like to tell her how ridiculous that is, after seeing that movie, I don't think I'll survive this night without someone near me. Can't let her know that, though.

"Fine, if you're so insistent. We can share the bed." I had to look behind me every few seconds out of pure paranoia. No matter how much I tell myself the movie is fake, I'm still paranoid as fuck.

"Oh goodie." I can sense a small amount of fear in her voice: It was a little more restrained in vocal decibel range, and she paused longer on syllable breaks. It'a the details that matter. I switched off the lights, fell into bed, and felt Vinyl crawl into the bed next to me. My scumbag brain replayed the scariest scenes from the movie. The one thing that kept me from freaking out, was the warmth that Vinyl brought. She was almost like a candle, illuminating the darkness and keeping me safe.

No sexy times were had.

Something brushed my leg, causing me to wake up. Based on the current light content in my room, I'd say it was about eight 'o clock A.M. I glanced at my leg, to see that Vinyl was slowly falling off the bed head first. She must of brushed past my leg. I slipped out of bed, quiet enough to not wake Vinyl. But that didn't stop the universe, Vinyl fell to the floor, head first. She rolled forward, landing in a sitting position. The sheet covered her face. She thrashed about in a futile attempt to gain optical senses again. I really should just say sight. Much simpler. She started hopping on one foot around the room, trying to escape. This was almost comical. Vinyl then tripped on the bed, the sheet coming off her head. She stood back up, and brushed off her pants. After a quick shake from her head, her hair returned to its normal state.

"Are you done yet?" I asked her. She glanced up to me and smiled.

"Dude, I pretended to be a jetpack while spooning you," she said, in a very nonchalant manner that she always has.

"That's... I don't even know what to say to that. Wait, when was this? I don't recall the event you're describing."

"Oh, sometime after you fell asleep. I figured out that you would be most likely run away if you were still awake. You were shivering out of fear."

Okay, I lied, there were some sexy times. Mild sexy times.

I just gave her a blank stare. How would a normal person react in a situation like this? Oh yeah, use an excuse. Breakfast anyone? I started heading out of my room.

"Whoa, dude, where are you going?" Vinyl asked as she jogged up to me.

"Food," was the only thing I said. Do I even have food here? I think there's a half-eaten bagel in the fridge. Maybe some cereal in a cupboard. I usually just eat things in a groggily-themed daze in the morning. I need to contemplate about supplies in my house, if Vinyl's going to be visiting here often.

"Have fun with that, I'm heading back to bed, it's way too early for me." Vinyl walked back into my room, and fell onto the bed. I went downstairs, hoping for cereal or something else left for breakfast. After scrambling through the cupboard for about ten minutes, I found a half-empty box of Cheerios. I poured the cereal into a white bowl, but I then realized was out of milk. Meh, fuck it. I got the ketchup, and started pouring it in the bowl. I stopped myself mid-squirt. What the heck am I doing?! The cereal sat in the thick, red ketchup, and I lost my appetite. That's just gross.

Vinyl layed in Dylan's bed, quick asleep. Her snores scared away the birds and squirrels that were visible from the window. Her mouth opened and closed in a cartoon-like motion as she snored.  Luna walked past the door frame, then walked back and looked at the sleeping DJ.

'It seems sir Neon is absent,' Luna thought before walking off, going up the attic, and falling asleep on a bed made of bats that just materialized in front of her.

"I'm not surprised. I had a feeling you would just show up, asking me for help, for some stupid problem," I said to Human Twilight, as she appeared. I had sat down on a couch, ready to watch whatever bullshit they were feeding people on the news, when Twilight suddenly appeared, and fell down on the middle of the floor. Being the emotionless, uncaring person I am, I ignored her and turned on the T.V.

"Hmm? How did you know?" Twilight asked as she got up from the floor, trying not to fall over.

"It's starting to get repetitive at this point."

"In retrospect, I can see what you mean. But still, there's a giant problem! Equestria is doomed if princess Celestia finds out! And worst of all, I'll disappoint her! She'll never want me as a student ever again!" I turned the T.V. up louder to try and drain out her screaming. "This is serious! My life is on the line! Aren't you going to help!?" I muted the T.V.

"Listen, I don't care. You tend to exaggerate when things go wrong. And even more so when Queen Bitch is involved."

"I guess you don't hold princess Celestia that highly..."

"I hate authority. People shouldn't be above each other."

"But she..." Twilight pulled out a blue book from nowhere, with 'Why Princess Celestia Is Best Princess' on the cover. Where does she find these? "Oh! Celestia banished Nightmare Moon to the moon. If she didn't, Equestria would be trapped in darkness for-"

"Equestria was dark for two hours longer than normal. Luna got banished to a giant rock, all alone, for a thousand years. And Luna had every right to be angry. She worked just as hard as her sister, and yet everypony feared her for just doing her job. Any normal pony would've snapped a long time before Luna did, and would have done much worse than make it be night for two hours longer. Not a single pony was even hurt. Even after all that, she stayed Luna. And ponies still feared her. All her life. What Celestia did was wrong. Luna didn't deserve that. Celestia could've told eveypony not to fear her, maybe even try and make friends for luna, but instead, Celestia did nothing. Almost like, she wanted this to happen. She wanted Luna to snap, so she could look good. She became the glorified hero, while Luna took the fall. Celestia's no hero, and she had everypony fooled for a thousand years."

Luna had her ear to the attic floor, listening to every word she heard. She could pick up Dylan's and Twilight's conversation. A tear rolled down Luna's face as Dylan talked.

"Could sister really have done that?" Luna whispered. She stopped listening and silently shed tears on the floor.

"I... No... You're wrong!" Twilight screamed.

"Never willing to see the truth. You'll be smart enough to know I'm right soon enough."

"But she kept all of us safe for all that time! She can't be evil!"

"Not once did I say she was evil. She only kept you all alive so she had a kingdom. So she had more power. I've been studying everything I could find about her, and that's the conclusion I came up with. I don't obey Celestia, and you shouldn't either. Nopony should." There was a long silence as Twilight mulled over her next few words.

"I hope you're wrong, but I can't find anything to fight that idea. I will confront the princess, but I still need help. Just five minutes, please."

"Fine."

"And...?" I asked Fluttershy as she told me about the morning events. A large NASA satellite was stuck halfway in the ground, right outside Fluttershy's cottage. The nearby grass was burnt. The only ponies there were me, and The Mane Six.

"Well... it just crashed. I was feeding the chickens, and I heard something crash, and I hid in a tree until Twilight talked me out of it. It's been here for a few hours."

"Interesting. Okay, you can go now." Before I finished the last sentence, Fluttershy disappeared in a flash of yellow. She was terrified of the alien object, and I'm amazed she could stay this close to it, thirty yards away, for two minutes. "Stay back, everypony. I'm not sure what in there, but I don't want it self-destructing." It wasn't going to self-destruct, that's stupid, but I don't want them finding anything out about one of the largest space programs on Earth. As I trot up to it, I take note of the minor cosmetic damage. Strange, uncontrolled reentry to the atmosphere would've disintegrated most of it. This is some kind of secret deep space satellite, made for finding alien life, based on the long-range bio-scanners on this thing. Recently made too, the type of carbon processing in this type of metal is reminiscent to the same way of making hyperdiamond. It looks like something threw off the gravitational parameters, this isn't a capsule, and wasn't designed to land. No radio control either, it must be launch and forget, and wait for it to come back in a few years. I tapped my hoof on the control panel hatch. The hatch popped open, revealing the inner wirings. Based on the design and materials used, I'd guess this thing started being built in 2008, and finished 2011. Maybe a few tweaks later, not sure. I poked my head inside, looking for more information about the satellite. The architecture was clearly NASA, and there was some Japanese-designed components also.

"Neon, what is that?" Twilight asked. I banged my head against the ceiling from Twilight's sudden question.

"Ow! Son of a..." I retreated from the machine to face Twilight. "A scientific thing humans shot into space to find life not on Earth."

"Like... here...?"

"Not specifically, but yes. And it looks like the magical pseudo-gravity here messed up the flight trajectory, causing it to crash."

"Should we... send it back?"

"They certainly won't miss it. And I don't think you've invented rockets yet. No, we need to destroy the rest and make sure nopony else finds out."

"What if there are more?"

"Doubtful, but destroy them if you see them."

"Noted. Now, can you come with me to see the princess?"

"Are you kidding? That's suicide; You're on your own for that." I walked away from Twilight, and she crushed the satellite with her magic.

"This was suppose to be a quick trip, I don't have time for this," I said to Fluttershy as she tried to keep up with me.

"But you're in a lot of pain, I can see it in your eyes," Fluttershy said.

"That's nice." I trotted faster, wanting to return home. I dislike the shy one. Far too kind, it almost burns to talk to her. No challenge. She doesn't ever create conflict, or disagreements, and no challenge means no fun. What was her name again? I seem to forget a lot.

"But I can't just let ponies live on in pain."

"You've known me for weeks, and now you want to help me? And what do you mean, 'in my eyes'?"

"I-I couldn't get to you. You always ran off, or had something else to do. I ca-"

"I still have something else to do."

"I can tell because you don't look calm, your eyes show pain and suffering. You're hiding from yourself, trying to block out what happened."

"You're a veterinarian? Or at least an animal caretaker?"

"Yes, but I also care for my friends."

"Oh, so you're a licensed psychiatrist, with a doctorate in psychology?"

"Well... no... but I can stil-"

"Then I don't care. I'm not even your friend."

"We can be friends..."

"I'm not interested."

"But Twilight said you're really nice, when ponies get to know you."

"Ha."

"If you want Vinyl here, Twilight already had her come back to Equestria." Why is the shy one so persistent? This is very unlike her. To be fair, I haven't really spent that much time with her, or really cared enough to pay attention to her personality.

"So Twi's in on it also... If I do what you say, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes." I sighed. I need to weigh my options. As much as I just want to walk away, I probably should be nicer to the shy one, since she's Twilight's friend. And if it gets her to stop trying to get me, I'll do it.

"Fine. This better not have anything to do with yoga or scented candles." I swear to god if I find one candle...

Fluttershy had me follow her into her house, to look at a schedule detailing the date and events that would happen. She had already planned this out; She wanted me to spend at least a day with each of her friends, with a preset list of things to do that matched the ponies' personality. For an example, Shutterfly, no wait, wrong name. Eh, close enough. Shutterfly made it so when I'm with Rainbow Dash, we have to do 'fun' things, such as prank other ponies and ride in sleds. It seems Flyshutter had trouble coming up with things both her and I would like. I don't blame her, we're nowhere near close in personality and hobbies. Though after what I did at her parent's house, I'm amazed Gutternigh could even get Rainbow to do it. I looked at the fourth day, it had Fluttershy on it. So that's her name.

"So, you want me and Twilight to spend the day doing these things? Why? What will that even do?" I asked Fluttershy and waved my hoof over Twilight's spot.

"Oh, well I know you both like learning, so I thought you two could do science-y things." While she did put a lot of thought into the schedule, most of it are based on incorrect observations about me. Oh well, still can't blame her.

Twilight and I stood in her library, examining the schedule. It seems she had no idea what Fluttershy had planned. Though Twilight did mention that Fluttershy said something about having me spend a day with each of her friends, but it was a while ago. I still don't get why I'm doing this. It's not like I have anything better to do, but I still don't like most of her friends.

Chapter 51: Twilight and Rarity day

Chapter 51: Twilight and Rarity day

Rainbow Dash flew through the clouds, quickly closing in on Fluttershy's house. As Rainbow landed, she took note of the sound of chickens. Fluttershy must be feeding her animals. Rainbow floated around the house, meeting Fluttershy giving seeds to chicken.

"Flut-" Rainbow said, before Fluttershy jumped four feet in the air, then passed out. Rainbow poked her until she started moving. "Fluttershy."

"Oh, it's just you Rainbow. Sorry, I didn't mean to pass out. Is there a problem?" Fluttershy asked.

"Err, yeah," Rainbow said as she landed on the ground. "Why are you making me spend a whole day with that nerd!"

"I thought you agreed..."

"I'll still do it, for you, but I want to know why I'm doing it."

"It's just... Neon's too cold, too heartless, the only emotional color he's ever seen is black."

"So? Heart transplant, and stick him in the oven for a few minutes. Problem solved."

"Oh, no no no, not literally. You've seen how he acts. I can tell he thinks about killing himself almost everyday. The only reason he doesn't, is he's protecting someone, or something. I can't just stand around, letting him feel like that. He needs to live, to feel alive. Everypony needs to. What if I were like that, what would you do?"

"Well, I'd try to snap you out of it. But you're a friend, Neon's not."

"How can you still say he's not friend? Can't you see what he's done for you?" Rainbow thought about all the moments she spent with Neon, and then realized she based everything she thought of about Neon on that one moment at her parent's house. She had forgotten about everything else.

"I... But he's like, totally lame!"

"He's a lot like Twilight, but less caring, and with a horrible past. They both have a constant need to learn, expect Neon improvises everything, and thinks with only himself, and not with a book. You can see how they're similar. And he's also like you, when he needs to be in action, he'll be doing his best. He doesn't give up."

"How do you notice all of this emotion crap?"

"I listen."

"I really hate saying this, but I guess Neon and I could be... ugh, friends."

"While I really wanted to spend the day learning magic, I suppose this is a suitable alternative," I said to Twilight, as we adjusted the trajectory on our pie-mortar. The thing was made of a very thick wood-like substance chemically altered to resist explosions. This thing could fire pies at a rate of six RPM. "Let me adjust the angle to eighty-seven degrees, and reload another pie. Key lime, this time."

"Loaded, wait, the wind changed two miles an hour southwest," Twilight said as she read over the wind gauge. We stood on Twilight's balcony.

"Changing base level to eight. The extra power should offset the wind. Okay, now watch that pegasus flying over there." KA-BOOM! A green key lime pie shot out of the mortar, went very high up, started to go down at an angle away from us, and landed on top of the flying pegasus's head.

"Direct hit!" Twilight yelled as she looked through the binoculars. We high-hoofed at the event. "Let's hit... Look! There's Doctor Whooves, let's pie him!"

"Position?"

"Half a click north, trotting at half a mile per hour west. Wind has died down. No blockages at a theoretical trajectory at three feet apart from ascent to descent at one second after and before hight goes different way."

"Changing to ninety-two degrees, putting base power at default five. Load a coconut cream in this bitch!" Twilight shoved a white pie down the mortar.

"Loaded, light this candle!" I hit the button. KA-BOOM! We watched the white pie go up and up and up, then start plummeting down, and crash into Doctor Whooves. He looked all over the place, desperately trying to find who threw the pie. Chunks of the white cream slid of the Doctor's brown hair. Twilight and I burst out laughing, knowing that the Doctor couldn't see us from up here.

"Man, that was fun!" I told Twilight as we packed up the equipment. The sun was lowering, and the sky was being washed with a blaze of red. The sun melted into the night as Celestia did her job.

"Hehe, I know. We're probably the only ponies in Equestria that could do this, with our advanced math skills."

"Nope, just the only ones that could have fun doing them."

"That was fun, but, *yawn*, I'm getting tired. Good night, see ya tomorrow."

"You too." Odd, she never sleeps this early; She'd miss out on chances to learn. And she didn't show any signs of being tired up until she said that. I wanted to question her on this, but I thought it would be better to just drop it. I trotted down the stairs, pretending to leave. Once Twilight thought I was gone, she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She made checkmarks and quick notes on the paper. How interesting. Twilight put the paper down, and slipped into her bed, the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest telling me she's asleep. I levitated the paper to me.

Once I received it, I read over the contents. It was some kind of poll from Fluttershy. About me. Twilight checked the boxes, fun, sociable, (This plan is a) good idea. The notes she put were telling Fluttershy that what Fluttershy thought of was a great idea, and it worked amazingly.

Huh. I guess Fluttershy wants to see how it went, in a very strict manner, giving out all the details she needs. Smart, if not a little disrespectful. I put the paper back where I grabbed it, and walked out of the tree Twi lives in. It was a short, quiet walk to Vinyl's. I opened her door, to find her passed out on the dance floor, a bottle of beer in her hand. Classic Vinyl. I levitated her onto my back, since I couldn't hold her for long with magic. I then carried her upstairs, plopped her on her large blue bed, and crawled in next to her. The night passed quickly once I shut my eyes.

*Knock knock* Rarity knocked on Fluttershy's door just as the sun was rising. Fluttershy sleepily crawled out of bed, walked through her house, and opened the door.

"Hello dear, I understand that today I will be with Neon?" Rarity asked. Fluttershy rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Yeah, is there a problem?"

"It's just, I don't quite understand that colt. You seem to understand him, can you tell me anything?"

"Well, he hides behind a mask. He's angry, but doesn't show it. You need to break that mask, and show him that being angry isn't how you should live. I'm not sure how to do that... sorry."

"It's alright dear, let me handle it."

"Sweetie Belle, don't you have anything else to do, maybe play with your friends?" Rarity said, in an attempt to get her out of the boutique for the day.

"No, not really," Sweetie replied.

"Err..." Rarity looked around the room, until her eyes found a small, empty box. She closed the box, and levitated it over to Sweetie. "I need you to trot over to Canterlot with this box. Give it to the pony in the pony running the ice cream shop."

"Isn't that a job for the mail mare?"

"Nope!" Rarity then held up Sweetie with magic, pushed her out the door, and slammed the door shut. "I suppose that's one way of doing it." *Knock knock* "Go away Sweetie!"

"I'm not Sweetie," I said and opened the door.

"Oh, come in come in then. Welcome, Neon."

"Uh, hi." There was a nervous tension in the room as we looked around the shop, neither of us saying anything. "So... what's planned?"

"I really haven't thought of anything."

"Oh. What about what's on Fluttershy's schedule?"

"I looked over it, and nothing seemed interesting for either of us." Rarity and I had nothing in common, we would never like to do the same thing. Though, I guess I could say the same about Applejack and Rarity. "Idea! You know about ponymade fabrics, right?" I shot her a confused look. "Materials not naturally find in Equestria?" I think she's talking about manmade objects, such as all elements above 92 are made by humans, and other things made by humans like computers.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Is there anything new you can show me? That you can't find here?"

"The elements on Earth don't all exist here, and there's no Equestrian periodic table."

"Oh, okay then." Rarity pondered over what to do. An awkward silence filled the room. It was quite clear that Rarity and I couldn't have fun doing the same thing.

"Aren't most of your customers from canterlot?"

"Yes dear."

"Then I have to wonder, why is this store in Ponyville?"

"I may sale most of my clothes to ponies that live in Canterlot, but I still want to be with my friends and I like Ponyville better."

"It would make a lot of ponies not go here since it's so far away."

"Bits aren't everything..." Hypocrite!

"Right."

"Tell me dear-"

"Stop calling me dear."

"Sorry. Tell me, Neon, why does it seem you don't like me?"

"Huh?"

"Whenever we've been near, you've showed little kindness, and you address me in a neutral tone. It almost seems like you're not a friend."

"I just don't like ponies. I'd rather be alone than in a crowd."

"But you're good friends with Twilight."

"Yeah, we're similar. Both of us have the need to learn, to know everything we can. We have something in common. You and I, don't."

"Neither do any of my friends, and we're still friends."

"Ah. You keep using that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means. How are friends with Applejack? You hate much of what she does because she gets dirty. You even fought her when Twilight had that sleepover."

"How do you know of the sleepover?"

"Twilight told me." Lie, I've been studying the show to learn what I can.

"Oh. Well, while it may be true I dislike all the dirt she works in, she's still a good friend. She never lies, and is willing to get dirty to do what's right."

"She's lied more than Discord. I've counted."

"That can't be true!"

"Not with you, but in total times."

"She must have had a good reason to. It must be why she's the bearer of The Elemant of Honesty."

"So it seems. I guess it's not how much you lie, but the reasons for doing so."

"Agreed. May I say something about your posture?"

"Uh, sure."

"You're slouched down, and your hooves are placed loosely. I could help you with that."

"No, I'm fine."

"Your hooves are rough, and could use a hooficure."

"I'm not a mare."

"What about a mane cut? Your mane is getting long, and you look better with a short mane."

"How long has it been... Actually, you might be right. I don't think I've even had a mane cut yet."

"Yay!" Rarity somehow pushed me onto a platform and appeared with scissors in a fraction of a second. She first shuffled my mane around, checking for mane thickness and length. Once she was sure of a style she liked, she began to rapidly cut my mane. Bits of shiny white and vibrate green hair fell off my head. We made tidbits of conversation here and there, dealing with recent events.

"I still want bangs."

"Okay... How was the date with the DJ?" That question came out of nowhere.

"It wasn't a date, I just drove Vinyl to a mall to get her clothes and lunch."

"That's what a date is, dear."

"Oh... I’m not that good at things involving other ponies.”

“I can always help. You should never turn down advice.”

Chapter 52: What do the changelings want with me?

"Interesting. Vinyl's a hard one to figure out," Rarity said to me as we played Tic-tac-toe. "I don't know how much I could help you. I'd ask Octavia, she'd no more than me." I put an 'O' in the bottom right corner of the game bored.

"I win... again," I said. She's downright horrible at this game. She hasn't won once. I even tried to force her into winning... and failed miserably.

"Best fifty-eight out of one hundred and sixteen." I got up off the floor.

"Eh, maybe another time. This is getting boring."

"Now what?" The sky outside the window had already turned dark, rain dotting the glass. There was no thunder, just a bit of drizzle. It was maybe 7-ish at night. Even after all this time, there was still nothing Rarity and I could find to do that would be fun together. We talked about relationships a bit, but she always seemed overdramatic on things. That doesn't mean I didn't listen to her, I just questioned her logic. But as it turns out, logic doesn't dictate things. Rarity showed me that. It doesn't matter how cold, how heartless you are, there's still a good spot. Yes, I often act cold on the outside, and have no problem being renegade, and that's sometimes a good thing dealing with big problems, but I'm not always doing that. Sometimes, logic isn't all you need. Life has more value than a few numbers. It took me a while to understand exactly what Rarity was saying, but I think I get it now. Rarity may be overdramatic, but that might have been the only reason why I now see this. No, I'm not going to start acting stupid, abandoning all logic, but I now understand why I save so many people. I've had the choice to let so many people die, to just not care. And yet, I've done so much. I just didn't know why. And now I do, it's part of being human. Humans care for others, and I now know why. I feel... like I have a purpose now. A reason to push on, for more than just survival instincts.

"It's getting kind of late, I should be heading to Vinyl's now, she'll probably be wanting to see me." I started walking out.

"Thinking of Vinyl's feelings? You have learned. I guess today wasn't a waste. Oh, wait!" I stopped right in front of the door. "You're going to need an umbrella, you wouldn't want your new hair to get wet." My mane looks the same as it did when I first became a pony, there's no styling in it.

"No, I'm fine. I can create one with magic." I opened the door, walked out halfway, turned my neck to look back, and smiled at Rarity. "Thanks." I walked out and closed the door. Because of my laziness, I subconsciencely incorporated magic into everyday life. Like I closed that door with magic, and forgot I even used magic. It's a nice alternative to NOT HAVING HANDS. But whatever, I formed a flat forcefield above me. The water dripped off, leaving me dry. It was a rather lonely trot back. I need to learn teleportation.

I got opened Vinyl's door, to be met with a tackle. We tumbled out in the rain for a second, until we lost momentum and Vinyl laid on top.

"Hey!" Vinyl exclaimed as rain held her mane down. A brief pause lingered in the air as I figured out what Vinyl was doing.

"Err, hi. I guess this means you miss me."

"You know it," Vinyl said right before she slowly kissed me. Our eyes closed, and drops of rain dripped off of Vinyl's face. After a few seconds, I broke the kiss and created a magic shield to get us out of the rain. I then proceed to push her off me and stand up.

"I'd rather not be outside, it's cold and I'm wet."

"I've noticed you always break off first."

"Is that a problem? Are you trying to go farther?"

"No, it's just not normal for stallions to break off first."

"Since when is any of this normal?"

"Heh, you're right. Besides, we can always continue this later." We then trotted into her house, and I shut the door. It was about ten degrees warmer, and felt nice. Vinyl levitated a kitchen cloth over to me.

"Thanks." I dried myself off and laid down on a couch. My mane puffed up in an almost cartoon-like manner when I stopped drying it. Vinyl snickered at me. I held my hair back down with magic.

"So," Vinyl said as she crawled on top of me. "How was today?" Her face was inches from mine as she looked me in the eyes.

"It was okay, Rarity can be a good friend."

"You never seem to have any extreme opinions. It's always, okay this, and I'm neutral this."

"Well, not for everything."

"And what's that?"

"You," I said, as we locked lips.

"Heh, aren't you nice," Vinyl said then resumed the tender kiss.

My eyes fluttered open, and it looked like we both fell asleep on the coach. Vinyl was peacefully resting on top of me, her rhythmic breathing making her look cute. Her hair rustled as she breathed. I carefully levitated her off me, and placed her on the other couch. A deep yawn was the only sound she made, and it was clear she was still asleep.

Wait, I didn't have nightmares. I slept... good. My mind feels calm, free from guilt. I don't remember the last time I was free to sleep.

At this point, I don't care. Let's just get through another day. Wait, something's wrong. Call it intuition, which I downright hate, but I feel like something is following me. I stealthily looked around me, finding nothing out of the ordinary. I walked around buildings, and through streets, until I found only one thing that was still with me. A stallion, generic blue Earth pony. I walked past one more house, and quickly hid to the side. The pony trotted past me, and I tackled him.

"Who are you!?" I demanded. The stallion showed a fake sense of bravery. I could tell he was afraid. I lifted him up with magic, and slammed him into the side of the house. "I am not playing. I saw you follow me. Now, tell me who you are before you know the torture I know of." The pony still didn't look scared, nor say anything. Fine, he asked for it. "My favorite torture method is where you get put into a large metal tank, and then I put a fire underneath it. The metal will keep getting hotter, and hotter, until your skin is boiling and your eyes are melting. And you will leave dead. But that's not that worst part, you're stuck in this thing for days." A noticeable sweat drop went down his face. He still didn't say anything. Looks like he wants to hear more. "What if I stick a sharp, thick, rusted, and splintered metal pole in your flank, and keep pushing until it goes through your mouth? And then leave it there, until you bleed out in the next few hours?"

"I'll talk I'll talk!" He finally confessed. I still had him slammed against the wall, and no one was watching. "I'm... Uh, it would better to just show you." The stallion morphed into a changeling. I slammed a hoof into the wall, next to his head.

"What are you doing here?! Changelings are being hunted down, and why are you following me?!"

"We need help... The queen asked for you." I formed a sharp blade with magic, and pressed it against his throat. I hate changelings. They don't deserve to live. Creatures that manipulate others shouldn't exist.

"And why should I help?" The blade dug deeper into his neck.

"Just hear her out! Please! I'm begging you, don't hurt me!"

"Shut up or else I'll cut your vocal cords out, and I won't need to tell you that. If you wanted to see me, sneaking up on me and trying to deceive me into helping will only get you killed." I released him from the wall and walked off.

"But what will I tell the queen?!" I stopped, turned my neck to look at him, and glared.

"Tell her to go fuck herself." I then went back to walking off. I can't stand creatures like these.

I put the events behind me, and continued on with my day. Let's see, I believe today I need suffer through Pinkie. Oh, goodie. This'll fun. As I went up to the bakery, I saw Pinkie Pie race out from the building, holding a basket in her teeth. She completely ignored me as she went past. I looked back at the house Pinkie dashed out of, to find another Pinkie Pie there, badly icing cupcakes. Another changeling. They're not even trying. I levitated the door open, and trotted over to the changeling disguised as her. Pinkie Pie can't make cupcakes that bad, whoever this is must have tricked her into an emergency delivery.

"I already said no. Get somepony else," I told him. The place was void of other life, and the changeling morphed into normal form. He looked different, a higher rank maybe, and much tougher.

"The queen isn't taking no for an answer. Will you doom us our freedom? Just because we were born like this?"

"I know it's not your fault you turned out like this, but, it doesn't matter. Your race feeds on others, and manipulates them into it. Launching a full-scale assault isn't the way to appear friendly, and be wanted aboveground."

"We did't have a choice." The changeling charged at me, and bit me in the neck. His sharp teeth sunk deep, injecting mind numbing poison. The world started to spin, but I was stronger than any poison.

"Get, OFF!" I sent a shockwave of magic out, making the changeling crash into the ceiling. The world swirled, but I held firm. I started to lose feeling in my legs.

"We need your help, whether you want to or not." I wobbled on my hooves, not ready to fall just yet. I shook my head, trying to get some clarity. The changeling charged back at me, and bit me a second time. I pushed him off with the little strength I had left. The second dose worked quickly, but I was determined to keep going.

"How are you still standing!?" The changeling asked.

"I... refuse... to give up." The changeling charged at me again, but this time I formed a shield between me and him. He crashed into, causing it to shatter, but he looked stun. With the little coordination I had, I ran up to him and slammed him back a few feet. Tables and chairs were overturned in the fight. I stumbled forward, and the changeling got another bite in.

"No..." I said as the world faded into darkness.

"Three bites. That's enough to kill ponies. I hope you didn't just die," was the last thing I heard before slipping away from reality.

Chapter 53: Will is stronger than any magic

"I refuse to... Ugh, where am I?" I said, as I broke out of the sleep I forced into. My vision was still blurry, and I couldn't feel my legs. I was in some metal single-cell prison, lying on the cold stone floor.

"He's awake. You so be glad you didn't kill him. You're dismissed, sergeant. Guards, drag the prisoner to the queen. And make sure he doesn't break anything on the way there," said someone. I couldn't see him, and my head was pounding. There was a squeak of the door opening, then something slowly dragged me out. I lost my grip on reality, and passed out.

I drifted in and out of conscience, hearing bits and pieces of random conversation. I was still being dragged down dark hallways, they looked like cave tunnels. Eventually, I stayed awake long to pay attention and think about what's going on. I still couldn't move, and it felt like I was hit with a hammer. I stopped being dragged, and was dropped onto the cold cave floor.

"Good, leave me and the prisoner alone. Disregard all noise. Neon," said a voice that I could instantly recognize as Queen Chrysalis.

"Chrysalis," was the only reply I could muster with my current strength.

"Neon."

"Chrysalis."

"Neon."

"Chrysa-"

"Okay that's enough!" She snapped.

"What do you want from me?"

"Ooh, getting straight to the point. I wanted to play with my toys a bit more." Feeling started to return to my legs, and I struggled to stand up.

"You can't keep me here. I will escape."

"Good luck with that, I have a demand for you."

"Shove that demand up your flankhole." I managed to stand up, albeit very wobbily. I was in some large cave, with a throne on the wall. Chrysalis was sitting in the throne. The whole place was dark, with dim green aura being the only thing lighting the place up.

"Enough, I need you to get Celestia to make it so we can live above ground."

"Why should I do that?"

"The love is running out. My people are starving."

"And you think I'm going to make it so you can just go around and manipulate ponies?"

"I only become Cadence because we were desperate. I didn't have a choice."

"Then explain the full-scale assault on Canterlot."

"My subjects were starving, they would have all died if they didn't get anything to eat."

"You had your chance. Everypony would be glad to help your kind, but you blew all that when you attacked the princesses. Don't drag me into this, when it's all your fault." Chrysalis levitated me over to her, and held me in midair. My legs dangled.

"You don't understand me. You're not me, you don't know what happened, you don't know the pain." I broke out of her magical prison with a quick magic shockwave, which I made in such a way that it acts like a dispel attack. I fell to the ground with a thump. Chrysalis watched over me as I struggled to get up.

"I don't know pain? You don't think I've lived worse than you? You think I've had it all good, while you've lived in a horrid cave, forced to lead your people?" A neon green glow started to form around me. "You live on a planet, where conflict is minimal, greed is nonexistent, power doesn't corrupt, everypony is friendly and nopony ever wants to hurt another pony."

"Don't threaten me, your magic is weak." Chrysalis shot a green blast at me, causing me to slam into the rock wall behind me. My skin burned, but I got back up. I started to trudge back to Chrysalis.

"Maybe it is. But it doesn't matter. I have something, something that will always make me better than you."

"Hmm? And what is this? A crystal? An orb? What is this object that you're talking about?"

"It's not a physical object, and never something you can have."

"Never, its power shall be mine. That's close enough." I kept sluggishly walking toward her. "I said, that's close ENOUGH." I gathered magic into my right forehoof. Chrysalis shot another beam at me, but this time, I was ready. I reflected it with my hoof, making it redirect into the cave ceiling. I smirked

"Not so tough now, are you?" She glared, and charged at me. She sunk her teeth deep into my neck long before I could see her. I shoved her off me, the poison already making me light headed. No, not going to pass out.

"Still standing, impressive. Now you will do what I ask, or I will make you face a fate worse than death."

"It's going to take more than a little poison to put my fire out."

"Then I'll try a lot of poison." In a flash of light, her teeth went into my neck, injecting more poison. How does she keep doing that so quickly!? She let go of me, making me fall to the floor. But I didn't give up. I tried to get back up.

"I... refuse to... quit."

"How... How are you still awake?! That was more than enough venom to kill a pony."

"I'm different."

"Grr, I've had enough of you!" Chrysalis levitated me in the air, and slammed me into the rock wall, hard. Parts of the wall even shattered. But Chrysalis didn't stop there, she slammed me into the adjacent wall, then back again. After a few more hits, she slammed me one last time into the wall that was on the other side of the room. "Why won't you just die!"

Youtube Video

(Play this while reading.)

"Because," I coughed, "that thing that I said I have, and you never will, it's called spirit. I will keep fighting, no matter the cost, no matter the pain. You want to know something? I lived alone. I lived in pain. All my life, I had to fight. I’m still fighting. And I won’t stop.” Chrysalis shot me again, but I held my ground. My hooves slid back a few feet as I did my best to keep going. I continued to trudge toward her, when she stopped. Blood was streaming out from my mouth. Every muscle in my body screamed at me to stop. But my legs wouldn’t stop moving. “I’m better than you. I fight for good, and I refuse to give up.”

“No... No! Stay back!” Chrysalis tried to throw me into the wall, but I broke the magic with a quick whip of my hoof.

“Never. In every fight I’ve been in, I’ve almost died. And the only reason I’m still alive, is because my friends help me. But this time, my friends aren’t here. They can’t help me. It’s all me. I can’t give up, I can’t let them down. This time, I will win. Without help.”

“Stop coming closer! Get away!” Chrysalis rapidly fired energy beams at me, to have each one have little to no effect.

“No. You won’t stop me. You took me, you tried to manipulate me, and you wanted me to do something nopony would want.” Chrysalis watched in fear at my relentless effort. She just stood there, shocked and motionless. “I have a reason to keep going, you don’t.” I was inches away from her, and my right hoof glowed with a white aura. The air around it turned hot, enough so to melt the rock floor it stood on. I reeled back my hoof. “This is for what you did in Canterlot,” I shot my hoof forward with the little strength still in me. “And for hurting my friends.” As the hoof made contact, I screamed, “AND FOR MESSING WITH ME!” A white sphere exploded from the impact, making us both fly into opposite walls. As I opened my eyes, I felt like I couldn’t move. All feeling in my body was lost, and my blood was in small puddles on the floor. I must be going into Hypovolemic Shock. I felt pain at every heartbeat, but I couldn’t quit, not yet. Chrysalis lied unconscious on the floor, a rough imprint of her on the wall. I dragged myself out of the room, holding the cut that blood was pouring out of.

I’m going to make it out here, alive.

The cave system was simple, but dark. I quickly found the only bright light, from outside, and did my best to make it. Once I saw the sunlight overheard, it was too much. I lost control of my body and passed out.

“Oh my Celestia, are you okay?!” Was the last thing I heard before my ears failed me.

“He’s... WHERE?!” Vinyl screamed at the yellow pegasus that raced over to tell Vinyl of Neon’s location.

“I’m sorry, somepony just found him out by a cave, covered in blood. You can go visit him, his room is number 203 at the hospital.” The pegasus left. Vinyl closed the door, and sat down on a nearby couch. She then whispered to herself,

“Darn it, I told you to stop getting yourself killed, Neon.”

“His condition is stable, but he’s not awake right now. It’d be better if you just let him sleep.” Nurse Redheart told Vinyl, as she went to go see Neon. Vinyl let out a deep sigh.

“Fine, but I’m coming back soon,” Vinyl said as she trotted out of the hospital. Another nurse walked up to Redheart.

“He’s not stable, with the amount of blood he lost, it will take a while. Don’t you have the right data?” The new nurse asked.

“Upsetting her wouldn’t be a good idea,” Redheart said. “And we don’t know, he could be fine.”

“And he could also be in a coma for months very soon, we can’t assume the best.”

Chapter 54: An army of one

"Lay down!" The nurse commanded me. Despite the blood loss, I was already getting out of bed. There was a window next to my bed, with the sun telling me it's 6 P.M. I felt like I've been here for a few hours at least, I can't give a good estimate. Pain was still pulsing through me, but I had better things to do than lay in bed all day. "You aren't ready to move, your muscles aren't healed yet," the nurse told me, in another futile attempt to get me back into the bed. As I continued to limp out the room, I saw Vinyl walk into the room. She looked surprised to see me, or, at least, to see me up and moving.

"I thought you were hurt," Vinyl said.

"I got better," I replied. She gave a short chuckle.

"Uh, I can see the wound on your chest. It looks bad. What happened?"

"I'll tell you when I get back home."

"You are not ready to leave this room yet. Now lay back down!" The nurse demanded.

"Don't care, I can hurt you more than you can me," I said to the nurse. I wasn't going to hurt her, I'm just done hearing her.

"What are you going to do, bleed on me?"

"So, Chrysalis. Never thought I'd hear that name again," Twilight said. Twilight and I talked about Chrysalis kidnapping me, and how I escaped. We sat in chairs in her library, but I sat in an awkward position to avoid sitting on my chest wound.

"She just wanted to live above ground, but I don't know why she wanted me to do it."

"You're different, she thought she could do it with you. But how did you beat her, and escape?"

"I don't remember much, it is a blurry memory. I think I deflected her attacks, then used a magic-infused punch."

"Deflected? You're like an anti-unicorn. You are able to dispel magic, and that punch you throw did a lot more than it should've. You might have used her own magic against her, which would explain the white arua. Could it be negative magic? Anti-magic? What about..." Twilight trailed on about opposites of magic, with her saying some words every few seconds. She then got up, and started levitating multiple books toward her. "Recent advances in learning how the brain of a chimpanzees works suggest that if they were given the power to use magic, they would have very strong anti-magic abilities, because of the way magic is processed in the cerebral cortex."

"So I can turn a unicorn's best weapon against them. Interesting. Wait, what?! You live in thatched roof houses, don't have dishwashers, and yet you understand the most complex brain there is."

"Magic let's us read nature, and the brain has been needed to be studied because we are so reliant on magic." This is why we can't have nice things.

"Understandable for you equines, but not for chimps. Why study them?"

"We've studied all species, so we could understand magic more. That, and a lot of ponies wanted opposable thumbs. Their ability to grab and hold things actually made levitating things easier, once we studied them."

"So what, I try to learn about the anti branch?"

"Not quite, while that would be useful, you still need to have a greater control on how much magic you exert when using it."

"I'm already good enough to beat you, what's left to teach?" She put the books back into the shelves, and walked over to me.

"You can't beat me in a fight."

"You said it yourself, I can turn your own magic against you. And all you are good at is using magic."

"Is that... a challenge?" Twilight made two books float to her. "Magical fighting is prohibited unless used in friendly practice, and with medical personnel watching."

"I don't have time for this. Let's see who's better, here and now."

"But I could get a splinter, and the books would get disorganized and-"

"We'll get Spike to be your medic."

"Spike can't-"

"And I thought Celestia's pupil was good at magic."

"I'm good at magic, and I doubt you can beat me." Got her. I started to gather magic into my hooves.

"Prove it." She kneeled down, and glared.

"Fine." I wouldn't start this without knowing how she fights, and what her weakness is. She's going to start off with a magic blast, she always does. Sure enough, a purple beam emits from her horn. I grabbed it in my hooves, spun around, and redirected it back at her. A sharp pain struck me in my stomch when I spun, it must be the wound. It was healing quickly, thanks to a regeneration spell by Twilight. Twilight brought up a small shield to protect herself.

"You'll need to do better than that."

"If that was any better, I would've been hit. Antimagic shields aren't easy to make that quickly."

"I'm waiting, try something else." Twilight vanished in a flash of light. I swung my hoof to hit the air behind me. Twilight was there, and dodged. She then teleported back to where she was.

"How!?"

"Stop being so predictable." Twilight charged me, and I readied myself. Before she slammed into me, she teleported. I spun to behind me, to see nothing. I spun back around, to find that Twilight had run and jumped at me, carrying a ball of magic in her hoof, about to slam it into me. Time slowed to a crawl as my quick reaction time made it so I could steal Twilight's magic sphere, and her with it, and then slam it into the ground. A bit of sawdust got kicked up as the floorboards snapped in the impact.

"So... close." She coughed, got up, and dusted herself off. "Another time, I'm busy. Spike! I need you to clean up something!" She just can't admit to me being a better fighter. Not her fault, she was probably going easy on me, and all she can do is magic. Which all I'm good at is turning that against her. Eh, it was a friendly spar. It might seem like I slammed her into the ground too hard, but remember, this floor is wooden, and their building style is primitive. I mean, come on, they have thatched roofs! That, and physics aren't entirely correct here. For some reason, when ponies crash into something, it seems to do more damage than when an object of the same mass does.

"I guess, I do have other things to do. Can I borrow a book?"

"Sure." I walked over to the shelfs, and examined the various book titles. I found the one I was looking for, hybrid branches of magic, and took it with me as I left. This'll be an interesting read. "Oh, Neon, one more thing," Twilight said I walked away. "Stop thinking so technical, magic doesn't work like that. And that also might be why you only seem to be able to use powerful magic when angry, or protective. When you aren't thinking like a machine."

"We'll see who's right," was the last thing I said before walking out.

"Smexy times?" Vinyl asked me, as I laid on her couch, reading the book I borrowed from Twilight.

"No, I'm busy," I replied.

"Smexy times?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No." There was a pause as I turned the page.

"How about now?"

"Again, no."

"N-"

"No! Not now! Later maybe! Can I just finish this chapter?"

"So... now?" I facehoofed.

"Yes! I'm done! Now stop asking!" I said as I bookmarked the page and shut the book.

"Yes! Let's go out to stargazing hills."

"What? Really? That seems unlike you."

"Then we crank the bass up to eleven, and try to slide down the hills."

"And that does sound like something you would do. And that's not what smexy times even means."

"So, you'll go with me?"

"Yeah."

"Fun right?" Vinyl asked as she laid down next to me, staring up at the stars. We both panted from the rolling, since getting back up the hill was rather hard. The sky was clear of clouds, the stars being brighter than what you'd normally see, since there was no light pollution.

"Yeah, it's nice to take a step back and have fun."

"I wonder where Luna is."

"Huh?"

"Luna, she controls the moon. When I look at the night sky, it reminds me of her." Oh no. I don't know where she is. And I know she wouldn't stay on Earth, unless I was there.  She can teleport long distances, as she did when she helped me fight Scavell. And what did she learn while on Earth? Her learning of democracy alone started a war. And even that could have only been ended by an alien invasion. What if she brings computers here? What if she overheard what I said about Celestia?! And even worse, WHAT IF SHE DISCOVERED JUSTIN BIEBER AND LIKED HIM!? I jumped up and made a run for it.

"Lunaaaaa!"

"Wait where are you going!?"

Luna laid on a large cloud as it effortless drifted across the sky. She was somewhere near the castle, contemplating about everything that's happened. 'Could my sister really be as bad as sir Neon said,' Luna thought. 'Was all this really just her planning?' She'd ask herself these questions for hours on end, not a single answer she could accept. Luna couldn't accept that Celestia did plan all that, nor could she see how Neon could be wrong. Her heart felt broken, and her head throbbed. Her whole, very long life could really have been for nothing. Even now, she had no reason to live if Celestia's manipulating her.

"Lunaaaa!" Screamed a voice from the ground. It pierced both the sad silence and Luna's troubled thoughts. She peeked over her cloud, to find Neon running toward the castle. She wasn't sure if she hated him for saying all that, and wanted to avoid him, or that she needed to see him above all others, since he would know what to do. After a long sigh, she raised her wings and drifted over to Neon. She still hated him.

"Lunaaaa!" I called out one more time, desperate to reach her. Bad things will happen if I don't talk to her. Nightmare Moon can still come back, the emotion that Luna had that turned her into Nightmare Moon, despair, is strong enough to escape if Luna feels it to an extreme degree. And who knows what she's seen? There are many horrible events in history, and they would drive anypony to lose hope if they ever found out. To think that an alien race so similar to theirs is capable of such monstrosities. Their value of life is much higher than ours. Not even the evilest of villains could ever kill a pony. I started to call out her name one more time, only to have her land in front of me. A harsh glare was plastered on her face.

"What do you want?" She angrily asked.

"What did you find out!?"

"Enough."

"No, there are things you should never know. You need to tell me what you found out before something bad happens."

"And this 'something bad' is me, isn't it? I heard you and Twilight. I didn't want to know." Her coat turned a shade darker. "Now I feel used and betrayed. I'm worthless, a simple toy to make Celestia more powerful." Her mane slowly melded into darker shades. "How, in your short time here, figure this out? Why, after this long, didn't I know?" I could feel the anger emitting from her. "I never should have brought you here, if only Celestia would have never found you. Celestia... Celestia. I hate that name. It brings pain." I could see the slow transformation of her into Nightmare Moon.

"Luna calm down, I only said all that so Twilight wouldn't think so highly of Celestia."

"And yet you showed me how she's evil. I was the one hurt here. Ponies call me the villain. I'll show them a real villain."

"Revenge isn't the way to go! Attacking Celestia will only make you seem worse. The Elements of Harmony will once again stop you if you try. Let's talk to Celestia, she must have had valid reasons for all that.

"Talk talk talk. I've had enough talking. Celestia needs to banished for a thousand years to see how she likes it. She needs to know the pain." Luna looked a lot like Nightmare Moon, but still had elements of normal Luna. It was clear that I couldn't persuade her by asking nicely or using reason. I made my horn glow a darker shade of green than it normally does.

"Luna, this won't end well. I don't want to fight you. Nopony does, but you're going down a path that I can't let you go down."

"Celestia's followers. Ignorant. Blind. Don't deserve the life they live."

"Don't do this."

"They must be killed. All of her followers. Everypony under her rule."

"You think revenge will solve this? Celestia easily banished you the first time, and that was when you had all of Nightmare Moon in you. You can't beat her with brute force. And I won't let you." Blue lighting circled the floor around her. Small lighting sparks shot out of her, and her eyes glowed an eerie red. Her wings become sharp and the edges jutted out like blades. Her teeth grew long and sharp and black marks spread all over her body. The marks kept moving, and appeared to move around like liquid in their places. She was clearly stronger than Nightmare Moon ever was.

"No, Celestia doesn't deserve death. She needs banishment. Forever. And we need a new kingdom. One ruled by the night and darkness. We need to kill all the citizens, they will never accept me as their new leader." I put a bright green aura all around me, clumps of dirt and pebbles floating around me.

"Your plan will never work. I will tell you once more, stop or else I WILL stop you myself."

"You are interfering with my plans. You will die first." A flash of lightning lit up the sky as Luna, no, this thing isn't Luna. Not anymore. Darkmoon would be more fitting. She trapped me in a ball of magic, draining my energy. I wasn't going to let her do that. A quick focused blast from my horn pierced the bubble's armor and hit Darkmoon. She flinched from the recoil, but quickly retaliated with a blast of magical lighting. The actual attack didn't hurt me, but I did get sent flying into Canterlot. My magic shield took most of the force upon crashing. Darkmoon abandoned the fight, looking to continue her plan. I trotted over to the MTSC, with an idea in my head.

"Waaaaaah!" I screamed as I fell through the sky. A yellow blue pony flew towards me, and caught me as I fell. I could see that it was a pegasus, that looked like a recolored version of me.

"You okay? You should be lucky I was here," the pegasus said, sounding just like me. He let me down on a patch of grass, and held out his hoof. "The name's Argon."

"Neon, and I need you."

"You look quite a bit like me."

"I know. Just, I'll explain on the way back." I had to use an experimental feature I was testing on the MTSC, one that alters light variables to allow visits to alternate universes. Becuase of the limits of technogloy and magic, I could only teleport near my counterpart. Plus, I, and all entities of me in the current universe, are teleported with me using the mass biocode transport.

"Who are you!?" The Earth pony incarnation of me said, his ring of knives around his hoof at my neck. I was backed up against the wall, this version of me is very protective of his territory. I was in some blacksmith or inventor's workshop building.

“I’ll tell you everything on the way. We don’t have time to sit and chat. And my name is Neon.”

“Radon. And you are currently an enemy to me.”

Chapter 55: Are three enough?

“You’re not going to make me fight myself, are you?” I asked him.

“Yourself? What, do you think I can clone you?”

“Look at you. Now back at me. Now back at you. You could be me, but you’re not.” He glanced over me again, and saw we looked the same, with the exception of a color swap. From this sudden realization, he pushed me harder into the wall and higher up.

“You have a lot to explain before I cut your head off.”

“I’ll give you the short version. I’m from an alternate universe, and in mine, Luna has turned into an upgraded Nightmare moon. This time, it’s just pure hatred she’s running on. The Elements of Harmony won’t stop her. I need help, so I’ve been going through other universe to find my counterparts.”

“That’s stupid enough to work.”

“Exactly.”

“And you expect me to just drop everything and go with you?”

“By my calculations, this is the universe that my counterpart leaves with me.” Actaully, I have no idea. But I think he'll go with me if I can convince him it's hopeless.

“Because otherwise you could spend years going through universers. I guess I don’t have much choice then. I’ll go with you, it’s been too long since I’ve had a good fight anyway.” He retracted the blade ring around his hoof, and released me from the wall.

As the light subsided, Radon and I noticed Argon boredly trapping his hoof on the wall that he leaned against. The musky smell of the dark, enclosed room that housed the MTSC filled my nostrils as I gained smell in this world.

“Finally, and I thought I was going to wait here all frickin’ century,” Argon greeted us with.

“So there’s three of us. Each a different race,” Radon said.

“Yes, now I need to know what both of you can do, such as skills and talents,” I said, eager to stop Luna’s rampage.

“I’m unpredictable, and can confuse people easily. I used to work for the Solar Empire, but left after a few years and became a mercenary.” So it seems this version of me came to Equestria at a much younger age. And more so, there was a civil war there also.

“Skilled in following orders, and create own when needed, I assign you to distraction and scouting tasks.”

“Without magic or flight, I’ve had to make my own weapons. As you can see, I’m covered in advanced tech, such as magnetic-launched blades, spring activated steel armor, and a few other surprises,” Radon said.

“Steel? That crap must weigh a ton,” Argon commented.

“Only the strength of an Earth pony can wear something like this, there’s no holes for wings or horns.”

“I can imagine, you held me to the wall without much trouble.”

“How about you, the genius who brought us here?” Argon asked.

“Let me make a plan for stopping her, you’ll learn what I can do soon enough.”

Twilight cowered into a corner, Luna taking slow steps toward here. Twilight couldn't fight her anymore, any attempt at attacking her had no affect. It seemed like the end for her. Her tree was a mess, books thrown everywhere in the hopeless fight, spots of the ground burned into ash, tables overturned and desks knocked over. Luna couldn't think straight, her only thoughts involving revenge and hatred. A small voice in Luna'a mind cried out that Twilight had nothing to do with it, but it was overshadowed by the rampaging anger that thrashed around in her mind.

"Why princess? Why...?" Twilight said as tears streamed down her face. The only thing that could save her now is a deus ex machina.

Luckily, she would get a deus ex machina.

"Where'a your deus ex machina, now Twilight?" Luna asked.

"The deus ex machina is here!" I yelled as I ran into the large tree.

"Well, that was redundant," Argon said.

"YOU!" Luna screamed. She used magic to slam me into the wall. She choked me with her magic and slowly stepped toward me. Her eyes glowed the same red aura from before, and small strikes of lighting shot out around her. "You just come in here, and then what? Expect me to just give up? No, Twilight needs to die. Celestia has brainwashed her. She is a danger to Equestria."

"And you aren't?" I managed to spit out. I spun my body around and dispelled her hold on me. "You can stop now, before you kill anyone!" Luna looked down for a brief second, then glared at me with ferocity unrivaled by anyone else.

"I never should have brought you here. It's all your fault! I'm going to kill your beloved Vinyl, then Twilight, and all of her friends, and leave you alive to wallow in the painful memories of their deaths forever in your jail cell. IT'S OVER!" Luna charged at me, her horn pointed at my chest. She was too quick for me to move out of the way. A flash of metal was seen in the air, and the clang of bone hitting steel was heard. Radon jumped in the way, covered in his heavy steel armor. Luna's horn got stuck in one of the joints, but Radon looked unharmed. Then Argon smashed into her from out of nowhere, making them both crash through the wall. Twilight looked at me with a mixture of fear and confusion. I'll have to explain later. I ran out of the newly created hole along with Radon. Dust cleared from the impact, and Argon was thrown into us. I managed to dive out of the way in time, but Argon slammed into Radon, who didn't even move. Argon picked his self back up, getting ready to fight Luna. We all held our ground, waiting for the moment to strike. I just hope Luna didn't attack anyone before Twilight.

"Foals! Don't you see the evil of Celestia?" Luna asked us.

"So she may or may not have taken power by sabotaging you. But killing Twilight won't do anything! Just calm down and talk to her!" I demanded Luna.

"The time for talking has past. The only way I can send a message is if I eliminate her most faithful student. Why do you think sister put the title 'most faithful' into Twilight's job? It's because she wanted Twilight to do something for her that nopony else would. Maybe it's to go around and kill those who oppose her rule. Maybe it's to start her religion. You know what I mean, you've heard others say 'mother of Celestia,' and 'oh Celestia, why me?' and you know she's trying to make herself a goddess. Herself, not both of us. And even then I don't want to be goddess, but she didn't even ask."

"You stand there and say the time for talking is over, yet you spend the next two minutes talking."

"SHUT UP!" She screamed and charged at us with a shadowy ball of magic around her horn. We all jumped out of the, but Luna changed direction and went after me. I propped up a quick shield in front of me, but Luna smashed through it without trouble. Out of nowhere, Argon grabbed me from above and flew off. Luna harmlessly missed me as I went up. She then shot multiple blasts of burning energy, each missing as Argon swiftly dashed across the sky. A stray shot charred the middle of his right wing, and we tumbled into the ground a few yards away from Luna.

"Gringo! You gotta protect my wings when she's shooting that stuff," Argon said.

"Gringo? Really? Who do I look like? John Marston?" I asked.

"Green guy! I meant green guy!" Argon flapped his wings and tested if they worked. He then jumped forward, grabbed onto me, and took off again. I focused an anti-magic shield around us, but I couldn't make something that big and powerful enough to block off Luna. The only choice I bad was to protect Argon's wings, which now glowed with a bright green. Flying around like that doesn't exactly make it easy to focus, and my mild fear of not being on the ground makes it even harder. But I tried regardless. My back legs dangled in the air as Argon dodged Luna's attacks. There was a delay in her attack, that must be Radon's distraction. I looked down to find Luna locked in a power struggle with Radon, their heads colliding like rams.

"Now or never, Argon!" I said, as I made a pointed cone of magic around us, pointed at Luna. He knew what to do. We swooped down to her, the pointed magic cone around us getting a fiery aura as we speeded closer. The surprise attack did nothing, Luna saw us and spawned a magic shield that we bounced off of. Argon and I tumbled in the grass, with dirt being kicked up. A few scratches showed up on my legs and on Argon's body. I felt the sting of the crash, but it was nowhere near the pain of having to fight a friend. Ha, friend. Mere months ago I would've not cared about who she was. I would've just killed her using cheap tricks. I never wanted friends, and now one of them is trying to kill me. I guess that's what I get...

And I don't regret it. And I'm not going to lose her as a friend.

Luna took a step forward, and hit Radon. He got launched back a few feet, landing on his side. Luna's horn grew a bright black magic sphere, almost like if it was a black sun. I tried to create a shield around Radon, but I doubt I can make one strong enough. A weak green shield grew out of the ground, and blocked the pathway between Radon and Luna. Luna fired the projectile, making it smash through my shield like it was paper. But a purple magic wall appeared in front of the attack, and the ball stopped. It kept pushing against it, the wall getting more and more cracked, but the ball getting smaller. The magic sphere broke through the wall, only to dissipate right before hitting Radon. Whew, that was close. But who made that wall? Twilight took slow steps toward Luna. Twilight looked hurt, but the time we gave her to recover must have been enough. Or maybe it's new determination. Twilight faced off against Luna, but Luna wasn't one to wait, she blasted Twilight with more of her dark magic. Twilight teleported next to me instead of blocking Luna's attacks.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Never been better, maybe we can have tea later," I said with a sarcastic tone.

"Okaaay, now are you going to lay there or help me?" I pushed myself up.

"I thought the grass made a rather nice bed."

"We aren't even scratching Luna. Let's combine our attacks and-"

"And what! You know I can't do much magic, and not what you can do. We can't combine anything! You're her target, you need to leave."

"I'm not abandoning a friend."

"And I won't let one die. Just go! I can hold her off."

"ENOUGH TALKING! YOU ALL DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN DEATH!" Luna screamed. Her voice shook the ground, and the ground faded to black. Not just the ground. The day turned into night, the moon was enormous, and a large clock with the moon phases was floating in the sky. "Judgement of the Moon! This is the Goddess of Night, Luna. I call upon thee to determine the fate of these betrayers!" The large dark clock spun it's hands at a rapid rate. "The fuller the moon, the more power I have." I nudged Twilight, and she got the idea. We both used levitation, and attempted to stop the hands. They didn't even slow down, no matter how hard I tried. The hands found themselves on Waxing Gibbous. The clock glowed a dark aura, that then transferred itself into Luna. She grew a few feet as the black aura around her whipped around like waves. The lightning that sparked out of her turned bright red, and increased in size and number. When she spoke, Luna had an echo.

"You're all dead!" She yelled, then charged at us.

Here we go again.

Chapter 56: So the new plot is revealed

I jumped out of the way just in time, but not before Luna grazed my left leg. It stung but I could still move it.

"Stop moving! You're going to die no matter hard you try!" Luna said.

"You're not the first one who's said that to me," I said. I thought back to a certain memory, one that I won't go into detail. There is no way I can fight her. I just can't. This isn't a cartoon, some new power isn't going to suddenly appear. It's suicide to even try. But I have an idea. "So Luna, what happens after you kill me and Twilight?" She just glared at me. "It's not like you can beat Celestia. Why don't you just stop and think? Why are you doing this? Is it even worth it?" Luna flinched at the questions.

"Get. Out of my HEAD!" Luna yelled before turning into a mist, then appearing behind me to kick me away. I tumbled a few feet and stayed on the ground.

"You don't have to do this alone. Don't you remember? Nightmare Night? You learned something important from Twilight."

"Argh!" Luna must be split upon what to do. I just need to keep pushing. The moment of weakness she has was quickly over, and she began to charge a dark red and white ball of energy on her horn. That would surely kill me, I don't have enough magic energy left to stop it. Hell, even if I did it'd still kill me.

"What about Pip? What would he think about this? What about me, do you have any idea how much this hurts, trying to save you?" Luna was getting confused, and looked in pain at making a choice. The ball of energy started shrinking, but it grew a black aura around it and became faster in how much it spun. "Remember why I'm here? How you teleported me here? For a friend? Have you lost who I am? Well I am Neon. I am your friend!" Now was the perfect time to remind her that, she was at her limit. Power that great must take a lot of energy to use, maybe even too much for Luna. From the strain of keeping this form of hers up, and from the battle between us, and the previous one with Twilight, I think that's enough to make this work.

"No... I can't... Not here... Not when I'm so close..." The ball of energy dissipated and Luna fell to the ground with a thud. She quickly morphed back into the Luna we all know and love. Her hair was still moving against the grass, as so the rise and fall of her chest indicating her breathing. Cuts and bruises formed alongside her legs and back. Somehow she must have hurt herself doing all that. Over exhausting must have made her magic become hard to control. Physically, she's fine. But with the mind rape she suffered through, I'm not surprised. The sky turned to a grayish blue, clouds forming above us. Twilight trotted up to Luna, examining her state.

"She'll be fine, Twi," I told her. I looked around me, there was no one else. Twilight's tree was still a mess, but outside of me, my alternate forms, and Twilight, there was no one watching. There is no way this could have happened without anyone noticing anything. But it's not like I care. "Twi, get her to the castle. I have other things to attend to."

A flash of purple shined in front of the castle, revealing Twilight levitating Luna. She walked into the castle, Celestia watching from her throne. The sun goddess had a worried look on her face from Luna looking like that, her body limp and covered in cuts and scratched up. Twilight explained what happened to Luna, but didn't mention why Luna did it. It was best to just forget about it. For now at least, I could use that info as a bargaining chip later on.

Celestia just accepted Twilight's story and didn't ask questions. The sun goddess wanted to answers from Luna herself. And knowing Luna, she wouldn't tell her.

As for me, I should return to Earth and let this thing blow over. Argon and Radon have already been sent back, and I should see home again also.

But my story isn't over. It will never be over. In fact... It may just be beginning.

A few weeks later, October 16, 2012.

My eyes shot open, the first sight being the sun just peeking over the horizon. It's been a while since I've been a pony. I almost kind of miss it. I'm sure my magic skills are a bit rusty, but I've been busy, working on new tech. It's been quiet, there's been no real world wide dangers, and as such I've had time to make a few things that could help me in the future. I've been in touch with Vinyl and the others, they've been visiting me every few days. But I still don't think it's been long enough, maybe another week or-

"NEEEEOOOOON!" Shouted a girl voice from down stairs. Sounds like Twilight. It sounded more like a panicked 'I need your help' than a 'I am in danger' scream. I heard the pounding of footsteps up my stairs, then my door bursted open. I pretended to remain asleep, Twilight tends to overreact. "Help! Pony! Escaped! Your world! In college! Need him back!"

"Was that in English?" I asked. I propped myself up and looked at the out of breath Twilight. She started speaking again once she caught her breath.

"A pony from Equestria somehow escaped, and is hiding on your world!" Well, that was quick to the point. Almost too direct. Is this really that dangerous? I know it's best to keep them separate and isolated, but it is only one. And compared to all the humans, that's nothing.

"There are over 7 billion people on Earth, how would I be able to find him?"

"We already know where he is."

"We?" I'm already getting dragged into this, I don't want to have to talk with more people.

"Celestia tasked me with bringing him back, and said I could bring a friend along. As for how we found him, he needed to use a long-range teleport, which leaves quite the magic residue. I managed to trace him to a certain nearby college."

"Why college? Who is he? Why is he wanted?"

"He thinks a college is the ultimate place of knowledge. And he also thinks that humans are smarter. As for who he is, he goes by the human name 'Jeremy,' and he's wanted because... well, he's an extremist who will do anything for knowledge. There's no idea on how many live test subjects he's taken and killed for knowledge."

"And you think he's going to what? Kidnap someone else and use them in his experiments?"

"Yes."

"Just a blunt yes? Nothing else?"

"No."

"Okay then. I think you can handle this on your own. I'm going back to be-"

"Wait! We have no idea how to get into a college. Or how Earth colleges even work. And he used a transformation spell, so he'll look human. We're not sure how he knows what humans look like, but I think he saw you and your friends, and made a guess from the data." I looked down at my jumbled black sheets, and pushed them away from me. I was wearing full clothing, it takes too much time and work to take off and wear new ones every day.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice them." Oh well, as quoted from a game I once played 26 hours and 13 minutes straight, 'It's been too long since there's been a good bandit raid.'

"Yes! So can you get us in?"

"Yeah, it's called walking through the front fucking door. No one gives a damn who walks in. You can pretty much walk in and out of any lecture hall without anyone caring. Hell, one time I even started throwing uncooked hot dogs stuffed into condoms through the window into the art classroom while it was full. Only one person complained, and it was about the condom being too big. Twilight, how old are you? And adjust it to human years."

"Err, about 20."

"You'll fit right in. So, we know who it is, where they are, they danger they create, and I know how to stop him. Wait, that still leaves one question; Who did you bring with you?" A slight blush grew on Twilight's face when I asked, and she scratched the back of her head.

"About that..."

Twilight and I calmly walked toward the college Twilight said Jeremy was in, with, sigh, Pinkie of all people bouncing along with us. She wore a bright pink shirt with her cuitemark on the front of it, and blue jeans that reached down to her knees. Because of her comically large boobs, they bounced up and down constantly. Why she's not wearing a bra, I don't know.

"Pinkie, that's enough. We're almost there and you don't want to stand out or attract attention. So stop bouncing! Frat guys are starting to stare," I said.

"Okie dokie loki!" Pinkie blurted out as a response. I swear to god, it's almost like Pinkie is the innocent fan service girl. If this were a story, I mean.

"Look," Twilight said as she pointed forward. "There's the college!" I looked ahead, to find the large campus within a few yards. The place wasn't Ivy league, but it was decent. There were a few people on the stairs leading up to the main entrance, most of them reading a textbook and talking with their friends. This is two thousand fricken' twelve, why aren't they using laptops? Whatever, within seconds the three of us were walking up the stairs and into the building. Except for Pinkie, she did cartwheels up the stairs. Is that even possible? I pushed open the door, and a gust of cool air blew out. The floors were semi-shiny tiles, and there was an information desk to the left. The desk had an older women with glasses clicking away at a computer. A few college students walked in and out of the building, but other than that it was empty. I went through the doors that led to the lecture halls, and Twilight said as soon as we went into the hallway, "Yes, we're in!"

"Keep your voice down, people'll think we're trying to rob the place," I informed her. "What does Jeremy look like as a pony?"

"He was a dark yellow, with a short blue mane." I think he'd keep his hair. It'd make him stand out, not sure if he changed it.

"Is that him?" Pinkie shouted and pointed at someone walking down another hall. The man wore a dark yellow jacket, black cargo pants, and had brown short hair that had just a tinge of blue. That couldn't really be him? Could it? The man saw Pinkie point at him, and he started running away from us. Aargh, I hate running.

"After him!" I demanded and then gave chase. Twilight was running alongside with me, reading a book about how to run. Well, she sure seems to be doing good enough at it. Pinkie Pie was bouncing forward much faster than I could run, and quickly closed the gap between the escaping man and us.

Chapter 57: A lie...?

As the distance between Pinkie and the 25-ish man closed, the man ran faster, but still not faster than Pinkie's odd method of transportation. Once she was mere inches away, she pounced and tackled the guy. All I could tell from this distance is he looked thin, very thin. Twilight ran up to them in seconds, and I just had my hand on wall, breathing heavily, about 20 feet away. Well, that was anti-climatic.

"I *huff* hate running," I said between breaths. Pinkie asked arbitrary questions, like what was his favorite food, did he like pets, stuff like that. "Pinkie! Can you stop doing that!"

"Yeah," she said in response.

"No, okie doki loki? Just yeah?"

"Of course silly!" And her personality is back. Well then. Pinkie Pie picked up the man and held him tightly so he wouldn't escape. He stood up slouched over.

"Name," I asked.

"Why the hell would I tell you?!" He replied.

"Twilight, is that a phrase used in Equestria?"

"No, but it's possible he picked it up somewhere," Twilight said.

"Maybe, but unlikely. You said he was antisocial, right?"

"Kinda."

"And he'd try to avoid people to make it easier so he wouldn't have to take the chance of messing up and looking suspicious."

"Then why did he run?" I know why, when you see a group of people yelling 'Is that him,' it's best to just run. Everyone's guilty in this world of gray.

"Look at his teeth, they're black and he looks anorexic. I'd say he used to do meth. Since you don't have it where you live, Twilight, I'll tell you that it's illegal and highly addictive. He would run because he felt guilty, either from the law or conscience. The point is, this isn't the right guy. Pinkie, let go of him." Pinkie then proceeded to literally drop him on the floor, leaving him a crumpled mess until he pushed himself off the floor, and walked off giving us the middle finger.

"Is that the human way of saying good bye?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"When you're older, now we really need to find this guy if it's as urgent as Twilight said it was," I replied. I started cross-referencing what Twilight has told me so far with my knowledge of this place. Let's see... that leaves the library, any advanced class, and possibly the science labs. That's too many places. Too many people. We won't be able to find him. "Twilight!"

"Y-Yes!?" She replied in shock at my sudden shout.

"You said the horn is the part that holds the most magic, correct?"

"Err, yeah," she said confused.

"And it's true that pegasi can use some magic as well?"

"No, they are just really light. But all ponies posses the ability to generate magic, it's just too weak to be able to use it without a horn focusing the spell."

"Good. So I assume magic exists in your human form, since it has to go somewhere." Twilight just looked at me confusedly, unsure exactly what I was getting at. "Ugh! Fine I'll just say it: you have a lot of magical potential, maybe enough to be able to feel out rooms that have traces off it."

"That's a crazy idea. And it just might work." She closed her eyes and became enclosed by a purple glow. She pointed at me, eyes still closed. "That way!" She then ran into me, causing us both to tumble to the ground. Twilight opened her eyes again, to see a rather angry me. She blushed, and awkwardly smiled. "Uh, sorry." She then got off me and stood up straight. Then I noticed something. She seemed off. I can't put my finger on it, no wait, yeah I can. Her personality, it's different. Not quite as predictable as she used to be, and also that was a mistake she wouldn't make. I'll have to keep a closer eye on her. But for now, I think I'll ignore it.

"I probably should have told you to filter out OTHER magic, but whatever." Twilight closed her eyes again, and the same purple glow encased her. She slowly walked forward, oblivious to me and Pinkie. She looked tired soon, despite this being a simple spell. At least she was making progress. As we walked, Pinkie got close to me and whispered,

"Ever taken a shower under a waterfall?"

"What kind of damn question is that? And no," I grumpily replied.

"Oh. Well I kinda want to it always looks so cool in those weird human cartoons."

"Have fun with that, the water is most likely going to be 30 degrees and will have enough force to knock you down on your ass and push you back into the lake the moment you touch it. Not to mention all the bacteria and other disgusting things such as possible trash, Algae, and rocks that could hit you." Pinkie looked at the floor, remembering that physics had to apply, albeit loosely, in this world. Still, odd question to ask at a time like this. With that distraction over, Twilight had already led us to a lecture hall that was 84% full of college students, and the class was on advanced bio-engineering. I put a hand on Twilight's shoulder to get her to stop from going into the classroom. Her purple glow vanished, indicating that she's not using magic. She panted softly, with a few drops of sweat crawling down her forehead. I held her up so she wouldn't collapse and let her catch her breath.

"Wha... what is it?" She asked.

"You can't be seen using a spell, people don't have purple auras. Now I want you two to follow me and act bored. Sit down next to me. I let go of Twilight, and continued inside, trying to blend in as much as possible. I took a seat near the corner in the back, away from others. My two followers did the same in the seats next to me. A lesson was going on, with most of the students looking bored. Except one, who was furiously scribbling down notes. His hair was a little odd, not blue, but it looked like a common hairstyle in Ponyville. He wore a plain brown fleece jacket, and just all around it didn't look like him. But it was worth a shot. I grabbed a piece of paper off the ground, broke off a small strip of metal from the desk, and turned it into a weighted paper airplane. Let's calculate this... if I throw it with this amount of force it'll go a velocity of... and then it'll turn over from the weight and drop the metal right over his head. Perfect. I throw the airplane, and it went the desired course. As it flipped over, the strip of metal fell out, but the guy below moves his head to the side and dodged it, acting like nothing had happened. That's him. I got up from my chair, and gestured Twilight and Pinkie to stay there. I quietly walked down to him, he was in an aisle seat. I told him,

"I need to see you outside the class, now."

"No," was his only response. Alright then, he asked for it. I retreated back up the stairs, and plopped down into the seat next to Twilight, and took off my shoulder bag. I slipped out my laptop from the back and started accessing anything that could be remote controlled of the school. There was the sprinkler system, lights, certain doors, speakers, fire alarm, etc. I compiled all the accounts on the network into a large list, from highest to lowest privileges. The one at the top had sa72027394 as its username. The sa must stand for system admin. I ran a dictionary crack on the account, until I found the password within three minutes. 'Fall12'. So it seems like he needs to change it every season, and it can't be an already used one. And yet because of that I was able to get in within mere minutes, with a common program no less. Oh the irony. I went back into the now open control system, checking if the permissions worked. Everything's running just fine. Now let's think of the different scenarios. I could pull the fire alarm, it'd get him out of the class, but would create such a panic I wouldn't be able to find him. Sprinkle system, no I don't want to get wet. Hmm, lights. This room has all its blinds down, so it just might be dark enough. But it'd be hard to get him. Okay then, combo time. I started a delayed command for the sprinkler system, and the lights. In exactly 5 minutes, the lights will turn off, and the floor should be slippery. I put my laptop up into my weather-resistant bag, pulled out another bag that held a few snacks, dumped that out, and started walking down the stairs, toward our target. The bag is big enough to cover his head, so I'll do just that, and then drag him out of the room in the confusion. I don't know what he'll do, like how strong he is or what tactics he knows, so I can't do this Sherlock style. I stood steps away, the countdown having seconds left.

I stepped on the stair level with his chair, and all of a sudden the lights flashed on and water should pouring down. Only in the class and around in the hallway, I don't want everyone finding out all at once. In the mass confusion, I threw the bag over his head and pulled him from his seat up the stairs. I couldn't see, but I remember the placement of everything here. I dragged him up the stairs with all my strength, as other people raced passed us in mass panic. Once we got outside the room, there was a bit more light but the floor was extremely slippery. From a sudden jerk left, I lost my balance and grip and slammed into the wall along with the target. He pulled the bag off his head, an almost insane look on his face. He said, in a crazed slow manner,

"Why me... I didn't do anything..."

"Jeremy, is it?" I asked.

"Yes..." In a situation like this, you don't say your name. Looks like I'm right about who he is.

"I've been ordered by the princesses of sun and moon to have you captured and detained until the princesses can bring you back."

"So you're a high-level royal guard... no, no no no no... you can't... I WON'T LET YOU!" He charged at me in a bloody rage, arms swinging. I managed to dodge, but he tripped over my left leg making us both sprawl to the floor. I noticed Twilight and Pinkie leaning against the wall, eating my snacks. I wanted them to help, but getting them hurt or used as hostages won't be good. Jeremy smashed his fist into my cheek and pulled us both up. I head bashed him and we both dizzily took steps backward.

"Stop this!" I demanded.

"WHY!?" He screamed back, before launching himself back at me. I managed to grab his shoulders and hold him back a bit.

"Because sometimes it’s not worth it. There’s a limit for everything and hurting others for the sake of science is it’s limit.” He pushed me away, into the wall.

“No... you’re not a guard... I know you...” He said that with a creepy, deranged tone as his hair dropped down in front of his face. “Neon, was it? Everyone was fooled for so long... except me.” I kicked off from the wall and tackled him, but I lost my footing on the slippery ground, and he caught me and threw me past him. “ I've been watching you, a lot of people have. We could smell the falseness a mile away.” I coughed and pushed myself back up.

“Who’s ‘We’? I thought you were just some crazed pony that escaped to find human test subjects.”

“So that’s what they told you. Yes and no, but that’s not important for now.” I ran at him with a fist behind me, using all the momentum I could to hit him in the Solar Plexus. He took a ready stance, and simply dodged to the side, but with a reaction time and speed that couldn't be matched with mine. “You think you’re fighting for good? Is that it? Oh, no, this is a world of gray after all. You’re just slightly lighter than I am. Well know this: this is nothing more than a test, and you passed with flying colors.” He dashed toward me with blazing speed and pushed me up against a wall. “ You've gotten soft, it wouldn't be these ponies would it? You let a few cartoon characters change your personality? I say we should put this into perspective. Luna’s the one who brought you here, for the reason of find love. Or at least that’s what she thinks. The real reason can’t be revealed just yet. And for some reason, Celestia sent Twilight to get you. I wonder why, picking her student to do a job as dangerous as this. And she Pinkie along too. Think about this, it doesn't add up. It doesn't fit.” He let go of me and I collapsed onto the ground. “I’ll tell you this much, but then I must leave. You hold a key. A key that everyone wants. You must pick who's good and who's bad. This maze you’re in is a web of deception, and only you know the path out. Don’t trust your friends. Don’t trust your enemies. Don’t trust yourself.” He then just vanished. As if he were never there. I looked over to where Twilight and Pinkie were, and they were gone. Then I noticed I wasn't in a hallway, this was my room... back when I was living with Twilight. When I first came to Equestria. The sun was in my window, reminding me of the time, two P.M.

“Neon? You awake, Spike made breakfast if you’re hungry,” Said a voice on the other side of the door that sounds like Twilight. Breakfast? But it’s two o'clock.

“Twilight,” I asked, “what time is it?”

“About eleven A.M.” I glanced back at the sun, it was way too low for it to be eleven. Not to mention being on the wrong side of the sky. I can see right through this illusion.

Chapter 1: The lonely child

July 24, 2012 early morning

I sat there in my comfy office chair in my dark room watching a bunch of green flashing zeros and ones flowing down my monitor while emitting a soothing green light. While in my room I was thinking about how to put an end to that greedy politician that was taking bribes. I had transaction logs from a hidden bank account that if anyone had put two and two together, they would have figured out that the hidden bank account was the politicians. So than I had evidence of the logs and I just needed to find out where the money came from.

To do this I had to shuffle though his hard drive with a root-kit coded by me. Porn, porn, governmental threats, gay porn, pasta recipes, lesbian porn, speeches in progress, and, most importantly, pornography. Man, this guy must been an avid chef!

"Haha! Lookie here!" I said aloud as I had finally found the archived logs stored in his cookies folder. This was perfect. No room for doubt this time. If only I could have been so good during that missile hack. I felt my eyes becoming teary as I remembered that day. So many lives lost, and it was all my fault. I killed hundreds, no thousands of innocent people because of a stupid mistake. Their blood was on my hands.

Ever since that day I had regretted that for the many months that came after the incident. Then I had heard one of my colleagues say regretting the past has never changed anything. What happened, happened. No thing or body will change it. But, if you really want to, there is one thing you can change. The future. Accept the past and shape your future. Have hopes, but not regrets. Ever since then, those words have been my motto. Once I heard that, I stopped feeling guilt and regret for my actions and had vowed to myself that I will be the greatest computer hacker of all time. I will never stop trying to learn, program, and hack.

Ever since that moment two years ago, I'm still trying my best to be the best. My life is hacking and because of that I've saved countless lives by disarming nuclear missile strikes, preventing war, and stopping tyrannical dictators. Even after all that, no one knows my name or anything about me. There have been rumors, of course, but trying to find out my true identity or any other information has lead to nowhere for anyone trying to find me. I guess I should explain my past. Well, listen up. I don't like telling others about it. It was a long, and dark one. But it shaped who I am. And that's what matters.

For as long as I can remember, I have avoided people. This is because, when I was younger and I still went to school, people called me a freak and kept taunting me. When I was with people I was always able to outsmart them and they hated me for it. All my life, I have never had any friends. I was always alone feeling left out and weak. I was always in the background and always chosen last on kickball games. Thinking back on it, it seemed childish.

It wasn't when I was living in those memories. Because of those events, I had severe depression and came home crying everyday with no one to cry on. My parents both died in a war and I lived in a foster home and even there, all the kids treated me like an outsider and called me things behind my back. For all the time that I was there I never had the courage to stand up to them and eventually, I ran away. Since then I lived in the ghettos of Austin and because of all those years of running and stealing, I had become very good at free running.

One day I was inside of some computer shop because it was raining and I needed a place to stay for the night. I was in a dark, lonely, corner when I heard footsteps. Trying to remain hidden, I curled up in a ball but the person walked up to me. I will never forgot those words he said.

"Hello? Are you okay? You seem lost."

"Y-yes, I-I'm fine."

"No you're not. Your clothes are covered in holes and you look starving. Come on, I own this shop and I can't bear the fact that you live like this." He reached out hes hand, wanting me to grab it. I will never forgot that moment. That was the first time any one has ever been nice to me. I reached out for his hand and grabbed it. He helped me off of the ground and I could see his face. He was very old, about 80 or so. He was a short man with plain white pants and a stripped yellow and red button up shirt. Ever since that day, he has been taking care of me. Feeding me, teaching me, showing me all of the joys of life. It was the first time in my life when I was truly happy.

One day, he introduced me to a computer and I was instantly obsessed with it. For the first time ever, I found something that you could interact with that wouldn't judge you or tell you it had to do things its way and it worked when I wanted it to. It was perfect for me. Because of that I quickly learned and adapted to computers learning everything I could about them. Years past and the old man became ill. He had contracted leukemia and had spent many days in a hospital bed. He was the only true person who I could call my farther. I had visited him every day until that fateful day of his death. But, I wasn't sad. Death has and will always be part of life. I've accepted that long ago.

Now, I live alone, hidden somewhere in Texas. The only time when I go outside is at night when there are no people in sight. Humans are arrogant, rude, and insensitive and it makes me wonder why I do so much for this pathetic race of bipedal mammals. I should just let them destroy themselves.

"If only..." I constantly whisper to myself. No. No more regrets. My childhood was a bad one, one that few could even survive. But it made who I am today. Don't feel bad for me. I wouldn't change a thing. It's all in the past, and it shaped who I am. The darkest clouds leave the brightest lights in the end.

I was deep in thought when an alert popped up. As usual, I clicked the red "x" and moved on but it popped back up. This time I skimmed it, it read, 'He who helps the good using bad is no better than the bad themselves.' While trying to determine what this was for, time appeared to stop and a bright light encased me with a feeling warm all over.

Once I slowly opened my eyes, I realized that I woke up in a dark forest. It was very hard to see anything and it was very hot and humid with my clothes sticking to my skin as I got up. After walking a few minutes, I saw the exit and started running toward it. Than I saw a similar white light and the feeling encased me again.

Next thing I knew, I was in some colorful castle. I kept running without noticing any of my surroundings and hit a white wall dead on at full running speed. Then my vision started spinning and I just knew that I was going to pass out. After a few hours I opened my blurry eyes, seeing and hearing Princess Celestia and Princess Luna talking about how humans haven't been in Equestria in over three thousand years and how it's odd that's there only one. After that I noticed Luna looked at me and started opening her mouth, speaking in the royal CANTERLOCK voice.

"Lo, dear Sister, the stranger has awoken!"

I began to mumble, "Wha? Huh? What happened?" Luna stares at me in anger but Celestia waves her off and begins to question me in a booming voice, much like Lunas.

"Human, how did you get here? I replied with, "I don't know, I was just on my computer..." I decided not to tell her about my hacker life for fear of her knowing about them and getting the same idea as the media where all hackers are bad and need to be sent to jail. "And I got teleported. Where am I? and who all of you are?"

"You, Sir, are in Equestria and I'm Princess Celestia and this is my sister Princess Luna." Equestria? Where have I heard that? Then it was all coming back to me. I finally woke up all the way and remembered Equestria from the My Little Pony memes such as Trollestia and other stuff like that. I'm not a brony but since the beginning of this Internet craze, I've been accepting it and not really caring about it too much. If I saw a brony I would say Brohoof like I was one and leave it at that. I wouldn't judge them at all. Then, while I was still trying to get it all back in my head, Princess Celestia cuts in,

"Well, we will have to get you home. But first, we need answers."

"Axe away." Celestia gave me a quizzical look "Never-mind, ask away." I guess she doesn't listen to the Rooster Teeth podcast.

"Well, for starters, what is your name?"

My real name was Dylan, but that didn't really fit the spirit of this world so I made up the most half-assed name I could, "Just call me Neon Blaze."

"Ok, Neon Blaze, next question. Where exactly are you from?"

"Earth."

"Okay, last question, intelligence, speed, or strength?"

"Uh, intelligence I guess."

"Ok, nopony knows how to do transdimensional teleporting so it could take a while for us to learn it. So in the mean time I will make you a unicorn so you can eat our food and so you don't stand out and scare anypony. Do you have any preference for what city?" I didn't know of any cities except this one city I remembered from a meme mentioning Ponyville was a nudist colony.

"I guess ponyville sounds good."

"I will have my student, Twilight Sparkle, help you live in ponyville." Then her horn glowed and the light blinded me.

When I opened my eyes, I noticed that I wasn't in that oddly vibrant castle and was, instead standing next to some big tree that appeared to have a house in it. But I felt odd like my body was there but my mind... just didn't feel connected. I tried to open the door belonging to the tree house because I didn't know what else to do, but when I reached for the door something odd came into my field of vision where my arm should be. Once I glanced at it and started screaming.

"My hand, my hand it's gone! Why is my arm green!" I stared feeling a bit dizzy when I heard someone say "Hello? You ok?" It was very distorted and I had just fell over and passed out. After an unknown time later, I woke up with a jump nearly hitting my head on the wooden ceiling. Some female voice about 16-20 or so, asked me,

"Are you neon blaze?" But I didn't hear her. I was freaking out desperately trying to escape. I found a window in my panic and jumped toward it. Right before I went through it I felt something warm encasing me and I shall purple dust around me and I felt weightless. I started screaming, completely losing it.

"HELP HELP! RAPE! SHE'S GOING TO CUT OF MY DICK! HELP! I MIGHT GET PREGNANT" I felt some peace of cloth being shoved into my mouth and after a few minutes of thrashing about and pointless muffled screaming I begin to calm down. Once the girl noticed I stopped screaming she asked,

"Are you Neon Blaze?" I glanced over to her and muffled,

"drafupsh." She said,

"Oh yeah, I should take the towel out of your mouth." Once I was able to talk again I whispered,

"Let me go, please."

"I can't. Princess Celestia said I need to take care of a pony named Neon Blaze which I'm assuming to be you." Than she lowered me onto the floor and said,

"My name is Twilight Sparkle." She held out her hoof and I just stared at her. She was a purple horse with long, well trimmed purple hair with a stripe of pink going through it. I also noticed that she had a purple horn and there was a greenish-purple baby looking dragon to the side of her. Than I came to my senses and thought the only way I'm going to get off this rainbow hell world is to play along. Damn, this is worse than that time with the red angel gang shoot out where- my thought process got cut off by the dragon saying,

"I don't think he's 'normal' in the head." The purple pony replied with,

"No, he's a perfectly normal pony" I got up and looked around me. There were books everywhere. Not just that. There was a lot of human-ish furniture. Than I remembered my green arm. I quickly glanced down and I shall myself standing with 4 neon green legs. They all had hooves. I looked at my back and noticed all of my skin was neon green, slightly shining because of the light being let in from the window.

Than I got mad. I wasn't about to accept that I just magically turned into a horse and that Equestria is real but, then again, I'm not the type to say it's all a dream and even then I don't dream this vividly nor about horses. I quickly become angry and said in a dark, low tone,

"You, horse, get me out of here. Now." I angrily growled the last word while gritting me teeth. The dragon spoke.

"Woah, he looks mad Twilight. I say we listen to him."

"Spike, he is simply confused and I would never let anypony hurt you. Anyway, hello Neon Blaze. My name is Twilight and this is my assistant, Spike." Humans are famous for shooting first and asking questions later. While normally I would try to avoid any and all fighting, this was different. I started charging toward the dragon keeping in mind that so far I know 2 things: The purple horse can use some kind of bubble and stop me from moving and she was protective about her pet dragon. This gave me one option.

The dragon started to turn around and run and when I noticed the purple horse's horn was glowing, I used my knowledge about her to realize that she was going to trap me into that purple dust again. I wasn't about to let that happen. I did an immediate turn and slammed into the purple horse before she could get me. She fell down clearly dazed with a reassuring *Thud*.

"TWILIGHT!" The dragon yelled. I used this moment of opportunity to run for the door and bash through it. I slammed into the door breaking it clean off of it's hinges with wood splintering everywhere and without it slowing me down at all. As I dashed down the colorful village, knowing that I had no way of surviving the time it would take princess Celestia to get me back to my home.

As I slowed down near some forest I realized at what I had done. I attacked the "person" who was suppose to take are of me. Damn it, human nature! Why do we always have to shoot first! I cursed at my self and heard some one say something very softly and quietly.

"H-hello... are-are you... O-ok?" she was a very light yellow pony with long pink hair. Hmm, odd she had wings but no horn. She was shivering clearly terrified at me.

"I'm fine." I said a bit too forcibly than I thought I would. She quickly replied with,

"Ok!" than dashed off into some house at amazing speed. I thought about what has happened so far and I realized I need someone to help me. I walked up to the house the horse glided into and knocked on the doors. It smelled like... animal shit. I heard an "eep!" At the end of the door. Than a familiar voice answered.

"I'm coming." I heard the door click open and I greeted her with saying,

"Sorry about earlier. My name is Neon Blaze and I'm new here." she still looked scared but replied me with,

" I'm flut-fluttershy, n-nice to meet you..."

"Would you mind giving me a tour of Ponyville, Fluttershy?"

"Not at all." She stopped shaking after I asked her for the tour. Although, now I'm scared. I did quite some damage on that purple-no, I should call her by her name. It was Twilight if I recall correctly. I really hope she wasn't hurt too badly.

Chapter 11: Nope! Chuck Testa.

August 6, 9:24 P.M.

I held the warm body in my arms as she she looked deeply into my eyes. That moment seemed to last for decades. Then, out of nowhere, Jessica yells,

"Hey! Lover-boy! Are you just gonna stand there, or give her some clothes?" I snapped back to reality and blushed a bit. I then mumbled,

"R-right." I helped Vinyl stand up, she was very wobbly being a biped, I remember how hard it was when I was a quadruped, but she lost half of her legs, I gained legs. She found her footing, and I let go of her. She wobbled a bit, but held her stance. I gave a quick nod to Cortez, telling her to watch out for Vinyl, and raced upstairs. The best I could find, was just some of my older clothes, when I was shorter. Just a pair of old jeans, and a white tank top. What? It's not like I have panties just lying around. I'm not that creepy. I jumped off the ledge of my stairs and landed softly on my feet. Then I casually walked toward the living room. It looked like as if, time had frozen. Nothing changed since I went upstairs. I went near Vinyl, and handed out the clothes. She just gave me a confused look, and said,

"You know I don't like wearing clothes. And, these look old, and not over-done like what Rarity would make." Rarity would have slapped her if she had said that with Rarity listening. "Actually, these do look kind of cool." She then moved her head a bit, then frowned. "Why can't I use magic? My horn!" She reached her hand to her forehead and felt around. She became shocked at this discovery and put her arms back down. I said,

"There's no magic here. We use hands instead." She then looked at her hands, and gave the biggest, 'WTF' look ever. She then flexed her fingers, amazed at them.

"I've seen something like these on Fluttershy's monkeys."

"There's a very long story to go with why monkeys have them also, so I'm just going to say: we are related by ancestors."

"Meh, seems legit. So then, hand me the clothes." She fumbled with her hands and fingers until she got a grip on the fabric. I let go and she held them. She then attempted to slip the shirt on, which she didn't seem to be able to do.

"Let me help." I grabbed the edge of the shirt and pulled down. The rest of the tank top follow suit, and it fit quite well, if not a little baggy. I also had to help her with the jeans. They were baggy, also. I guess she would fit the social description of "attractive". Who am I kidding? She's fucking hot! Just like in the fan art. Once she was dressed and acclimatized to her new body, she said,

"So, dude, where are we?"

"A planet that is far too dangerous for you to stay on. We like to call it, Earth. Now, let's head back through the portal before something happ-" *BANG*Play this music in the background. "Hit the deck!" I grabbed Vinyl and threw us on the ground. Vinyl yelped and said,

"That sounded like one of Pinkie's party cannons. Why are we hiding?"

"Long story short, they are called guns and they will kill you if you're hit. This is why I said this place is too dangerous!" Cortez informed me,

"Two targets, about 20 meters out." I nodded and crawled toward the weapons safe in the other room. I took out a care and heard more gunshots." *BANG BANG* In a panic, I threw open the safe and pulled out a small case that had 4 M9s.

The door burst open, wood chunks flying everywhere. Some one with a gas mask and black fire-retardant suit had a modern flamethrower. Oh fuck. I jumped forward, slamming into the guy. He held me back as he lit the starter on the flamethrower. I grabbed the end of the gun, avoiding the pilot light, and slammed it into his face. I just hit him a few times until he was dazed. He stumbled backwards, and I yanked off his mask. I held my ground as he recovered. He then charged forward, the flamethrower pointed at me. I wondered why he just didn't flame me. He must be on full on rage mode. I spread my feet. Right before he hit me, I grabbed his midriff, using his momentum against him, and brought him overhead, straight into the ground. I slammed my foot on the flamethrower, breaking its pilot light.

I don't fight people who are down, I have rules for myself. But, it didn't matter. He was out cold anyway. *BANG* I snapped my head back to the others, who were still on the ground but cleary scared. I grabbed the case and rolled to them. My hand grasped the latch and pulled it open. Before anyone could get a gun, there was the sound of a helicopter. I put my head up, against my better judgement, and saw a armed-to-the-teeth attack helicopter. My eyes went wide and I yelled,

"EVERYONE IN THE PORTAL NOW!" We all jumped up and throw ourselves into the portal. Bentley was first, followed closely by Jessica, then by Cortez. Vinyl just laid there, terrified. I leaped up, and dragged her with me into the portal.

I did the same as before, shooting through space, but this was different. No, not different, just this time I noticed more. My brain felt like it was being teared apart, memory by memory. It wasn't painful, just strange. Then I realized I was losing my memory. I tried my best to keep it in, but it was futile.

What the fuck just happened? Why do I feel so strange? Where am I? Everything was dark, until I opened my eyes. I was in some biome of plains, but it didn't look normal, it looked cartoony. Odd, I tried to get up, but I couldn't. My eyes darted downward, and I wasn't in my normal human body. I was in some bright green... horse body? Even weirder, this somehow feels familiar. I shakily stood up, taking note of my new hooves. How odd. Wait, this almost looks like... Equestria. Another dream? Unlikey, I don't dream about ponies. I walked across the grass a bit, confused and with nothing better to do. I found a cement road, and headed down the path.

To Bentley's point of view.

My eyes quickly fluttered open, with me breathing in deeply. I jumped to feet, and landed on a wall. The first thing I noticed was everything was white, then objects and other colors slowly came into view. I was in a small room, with an odd bed-looking thing, a toilet, and a few other misc. things. Then a robotic, female voice said,

"The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak." I looked to my left, and found a pink and white cube with a heart on it. I feel like I've seen this before, but I just can't think straight right now. How did I even get here?

To Jessica's point of view.

Ughhhhhh, what just happened? Where am I? I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. The floor was cold and metallic as I attempted to get up. I put my hand on a nearby wall and pulled myself up. It was very dark, but I could still make out what's in the room. It looked like a futuristic space room, with a fancy desk and beds. I trudged over to the desk and put my hands on it. It felt wet, and I brought the substance to my nose. It was blood. My heart froze as my skin went pale. I fell backwards and crawled away. I breathed heavily for a few seconds until I regained my composure. I'm not afraid of blood, but what was I doing here? What was I doing right before this? I can't remember anything about this place. I looked over to my left, there was a large blood mark on the wall. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up at this discovery. I inched over to the desk again, feeling my hand over the objects there. I felt something metal, shaped like a square, with a hole in the middle. I felt around the hole, it was big enough for me to grip onto it. I held up the object like a gun, but it looked more like a nail gun. I felt around the grip on it, and found a small button. I clicked it, and 3 blue lasers shot out. Not like a gun, like a laser pen. They were in a vertical line, all in direct order. I moved the object around a bit, and the lasers followed. It was like some kind of targeting system. I then something shuffling behind me, and a low moan. I spun around, to see some... thing.

It smelled of dead bodies and had long blades sticking out of its arms. I couldn't see much, but one word came to mind: Necromorph.

To Crotez's point of view.

My head spun as I attempted to stand up. My eyes shifted open, looking at my surroundings. Out of nowhere, a robotic voice said,

"Shepard-commander, I'm hit! Requesting assistance." I swung my head toward the sound to reveal a humanoid robot, that was black and had red stripes with a logo that said 'N7' on it. I heard gunshots and ducked down by a pillar. I looked around, and I was on some planet that was very dry and bright. There were white buildings in shambles all around me. Then another gruff unhuman-like voice said,

"Yeah! Right on your ass!" There was a bang, and something went sent flying. I snapped my head toward the sound, and found some odd... thing. It was big, and in heavy armor.

And lastly, to Vinyl's point of view.

I snapped open my eyes, looking around me. My body felt like it did before I went through the portal for the first time. I had my hooves and pony body back. I looked around, it was the town hall in Ponyville. It was like as if, nothing had happened, but I remember being in that strange new body, with Neon. Wait, where's neon?

A/N: Vinyl kept her memory because she is different.

Chapter 23: Straight to the groin!

August 9, 8:47 P.M.

(Play this music.)

*poke poke* "What?" I asked Jessica, who was poking my shoulder.

"Was the whole sword fight thing true? Are you really that good?"

"Yes, now be quiet so I can hear about this new evidence."

"Did you practice sword fighting?"

"Yes, 2 hours everyday with a lightsaber, now go away." She attempted to stifle a giggle and faced toward the bailiff. The bailiff took the stand and held a small plastic bag with a bloody Swiss army knife in it. I asked,

"Please testify about the knife." The guy screamed,

"SIR YES SIR!" I covered my ears as he did.

(Replace that music with this music.)

"Someone brought it into the police HQ a few minutes ago. They said they found it near the tools shack sticking out of the trashcan. The victim's blood is on this knife, and so are Wolk's fingerprints." The court held in an awkward silence after we heard this. I blanched backwards once I realized what just happened. This case is as good as closed! Both blood and fingerprints! A nervous bead of sweat formed on my brow. I calmed down and proceeded with the cross-examination. Things are looking grim. I asked about who brought it to the police,

"What do you mean by 'someone'?"

"It was, uh, I don't remember. He- that's him!" He pointed to the witness, Smark. The crowd burst out into conversation as everyone in court become surprised. I slammed my hands on the table and yelled,

"HOLD IT! Smark! What were you doing digging around in a trashcan?!" Miles yelled,

“OBJECTION! That is unimportant right now. What we all want to is why Wolk's fingerprints are on it!" I saw it, Smark was more surprised than anyone, like he was hiding something. Hmm, I have a theory.

Random intermission

"ALLONSY, Derpy!" Docter Hooves said as he fled the TARDIS. He jumped out, Derpy following close behind. "Come on, I want to find this by lunch time! I refuse to miss tea time!" Derpy said,

"Okay!"

Random intermission over. Now we're at a military meeting in the Pentagon.

"Why can't we just nuke the place?" The military general asked one of the government scientist. The scienctist said,

"Based on the crystallization residue that takes place in the introspace travel, a nuclear reaction would cause a sustainability issue and cause a nonreactive live cell cancer."

"In English son."

"If we push a nuke into the portal, it will create an explosion so big, it would destroy half of the galaxy."

"What about other weapons?"

"No jets that can over 1.5 mach, the moisture level will prevent a vehicle that insulated from starting. And tanks have a low chance of success, with the high-density steel, to make it. If we were to send a thousand tanks, only about ten would make it. Outside of that, everything appears to work. But we haven't gone through enough testing, and even worse the physics in this world are nothing like they are here. We have no idea what will happen. But the air does seem to be a mix of nitrogen and oxygen, something that we can breath."

Back to Dylan.

"No, hold on for a second. I think I might know why he found it. What if..." I paused to think about my next words carefully. The whole court room turned into an eerie silence as they watched me ponder. I have an idea, I will be making this up as I go, but it just might work. "Ahem," I cleared my throat, then pointed my finger at Smark. "I accuse you of murder!" Smark blanches backwards, Miles does this,

everyone else stared at what was going on. I said,

"Remember earlier, I wasn't there, but I was told that Wolk said he was unconscious. From a blow to the head." Miles tapped his arm and said,

"Your point is?"

"Smark could have wiped the knife's handle from his finger prints, then pressed Wolk's hand onto the handle. He framed him!"

“OBJECTION! He found it in the trashcan!" I shook my head and said,

"Look at this photo of the shack, the trashcan's in it. As you all can see, the trashcan is filled with trash and other dirty things?"

"So?"

"So, the,

(Play this music instead of the previous one.)

knife would be dirty! It was never in the trashcan, it's evidence that was suppose to frame Wolk!" Miles yelled,

"HOLD IT! Maybe it was in a clean part of the trashcan!"

"Not possible! The bailiff said that it was sticking out of the trashcan, that wouldn't be possible if it was in a clean part! Smark's motive is that Wolk accused him of murder in a case four years ago. Smark's wife divorced him for it. Smark intended to kill Wolk, but he thought of a better idea, so he killed the victim instead!"

"OBJECTION! It was dark when the crime happened! He couldn't tell who it was! I've proved that there were boxes blocking the lamp!"

"OBJECTION! The boxes were hollow and had plenty of space between the wooden boards for light to be able to pass! He could clearly see the victim! And that knife is a very special knife imported from Japan. it just so happens that Smark is a knife collector!" (Turn off the music.) There was on awkward silence. We all just passed glances at each, waiting for what would happen next. Smark slammed his arm on the stand, and breathed heavily. He then said,

"You think you've won... you think it's all over. Well, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" He freaked out, his hair flying everywhere. He mindlessly thrashed around as we all watched. Once that subsided, the judge said,

"Well, I guess that concludes this case. I hereby rule the defendant, not guilty." The crowd cheered and Miles seemed to take losing hard. I turned to Jessica and said,

"It's all over. Let's head back home." She nodded, and Cortez came up to me. I held out the respawn box, we all slapped our hands on the big red button. The next thing I knew, we were in my living room. Your next Bentley, I told myself.

Bentley's point of view, a few hours ago.

"Is this even remotely safe?" I asked GLaDOS. I stood at some large alien-like device. GLaDOS said,

"In layman's terms, it random opens up a portal someone where in the universe. We're going to test it. It's not like I've killed you yet." True, even though she did came close many, many, many, times. Wait, I'm Bentley, I don't give a fuck about safety. Without a care in the world, I jumped into the sparkly circular thing.

Now, let's see, where am I? I got up of the ground, it was an anciant looking cement. I looked around me, and all I could see was the small platform I was on, and sky. Okay, so I am appearntly floating in the sky. I looked around me, there were three thin platforms.

How odd, I feel like I've seen this before. Just then, some furry fox thing in space clothes jumped down, and just started kicking me! I fell on the ground a few feet away and said,

"What the hell man! What did I ever do to you!" The fox had a green scouter over his eye. He knelled on his knee and said,

"Come on!" and motioned for me to attack. He then pulled out a small space looking blaster thing and started firing red lasers at me. They stung, but I didn't flinch. He just kept spamming those, until I run and punched him in the groin. He rolled around on the floor, moaning. I then felt around in my pocket, and found the object I was looking for: A semtex grenade. I pressed the button and dropped it next to the furry. Then I calmly walked away, until an explosion was heard, and the fox went shooting off the platform. That'll teach 'em.

Chapter 37: I can't even think of a chapter title

Chapter 37: I can't even think of a chapter title

Put all thought into my horn... focus. Focus. Call my inner power, focus it into my horn...

I think it would be appropriate to give a little context. I sat on the wooden floor in Twilight's room. Twilight was skimming through books, looking for spells that could help me. I felt silly doing this, but Twilight said I need to. I should just use a gun. Wait... gun... I could just use a gun... now there’s an idea! I could use- Oh wait, I don’t have any fingers. Well, fuck. Making some kind of trigger mechanism for a hoof would make it very clunky and not very practical. But, that doesn't mean the idea won’t be useful. If I could somehow use the human race’s knowledge of ballistics, I could make a very strong magic projectile shooter. Although that’s a good idea, I need to know my enemy first. The only thing I know is that he has some kind of vanish spell, hence why he escaped Fluttershy’s cottage when he first confronted me. Except it wasn’t like he just disappeared, it was more like he melded into the shadows, like he become a virtual object and traveled along shadows. To counter that, I could-

Something slammed into me, causing me to get shot backwards a few feet. My eyes darted open, looking for the attacker.

In Octavia’s point of view.

“*sigh*, I think it’s been long enough. I should head back to Ponyville,” Octavia said to herself after giving up on finding Vinyl.

Vinyl’s point of view.

(Play this in the background.)

I bobbed my head up and down with the music, it was pure bliss. Even though it was just me, Pinke, and Spike, it was still a great party. Even Neon would love thi- Wait, didn’t I see him earlier? Oh yeah, right when Pinkie Pie called for me. I think he went upstairs with Twi. Imma go get him, then tie him to a chair. It is still mating season. Hehe. I put my music on autoplay, and snuck upstairs. As I approached Twi’s room, I heard some kind of... punching sound? Are they fighting? Uh oh, I should go check this out. I opened the door in one swift motion. The room was empty. But how?! I know I heard somepony fighting in there. They can’t just vanish! I entered the room, rapidly looking over every inch of the area. Nothing moved. I’m the only pony here. Maybe what I heard wasn’t real. Must be all the loud music I listen to. I left the room, closed the door, and returned to the party.

(Stop playing the music.)

“Why the hell would I help you?” The Changeling Queen angrily asked the unknown pony from before.

“I promise you your land back if you can rid Equestria of the false hero,” the robed pony replied.

“Ha, that’s a laugh. What could a regular pony like you eve-” In the blink of an eye, the robed pony teleported behind the queen, holding a magical glowing knife up to her neck.

“Let’s get things straight. First off, I’m not a regular pony, Queen Chrysalis. Second off, I can do a lot more than you. After all, you did get defeated by the very thing you feed off of. Next time, don’t bite off more than you can chew.” The robed pony teleported a few feet in front of Chrysalis. “I’m more than pony.”

“Why are you so obsessive about this human? I’ve feed off of them before, and they don’t taste good. They’re too bittersweet. Though they have a wide range of emotions, I have yet to encounter true love.” The robed pony turned around and started walking away.

“I have a long and dark history with Earth. And this fake hero, he just might be my savior. The one to stop this pain of mine. Gather what evil you can, and attack the one they call Neon Blaze. Your only task is to kill him. If he dies, I will know he’s not the one.” He then teleported away.

Dylan’s point of view.

“Ow, my head...” I said as I examined my surrounding area. My head was throbbing from a blow to the left side of my skull. I was in some library, judging by the tall rows of books everywhere. Twilight was shuffling through them. Once she heard me talk, her eyes look at me, and she said,

“Oh, good, you’re aliv- I mean awake. Sorry for the sudden teleport, but there’s a book in here that we need if this pony you’re talking about is real.”

“Where exactly is, ‘here’?”

“Why, you’re in the royal Canterlot archives,” said a feminine voice from behind. I turned my gaze to behind me, to find Celestia standing over me.

“You should move your hair away from your eyes.” I told her.

“And, pray tell, why’s that?” She asked.

“I just never see both of your eyes at the same time. I imagine that you can only see three quarters of your field of view like that.”

“I’m quite fine with my current hair style. But, back to the point, can you tell me about this mysterious pony that you told my faithful student about?”

“Who?”

“You don’t know about the pony you told Twilight about?”

“Oh, wait what? Twilight’s your student? In what?”

“In the studies of magic. She possess a large amount of raw magic that-”

“I don’t care about her. I just want to be alive by the end of the month.”

“Then tell me what you know about the strange pony that visited you at midnight while you were at Fluttershy’s cottage.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. He just told me he would prove me being a hero wrong, and that he’d do it in a month. Then he just vanished.” I don’t trust Celestia. Ruler of all of Equestria or not, she has no authority over me.

“Lo sister,” Luna yelled as she came into the archive room, “art thou ready for a game of chess?” Oh, I like chess. Maybe I could play a game with her sometime.

“Not this moment, I’m learning of this new threat Neon has encountered,” Celestia yelled back. Luna walked up to me, and said,

“Threat? Care to elaborate, sir Neon?”

“Yes,” I replied, “all I know is that he was dark colored, maybe black or blue, had wings, and somehow melded to the shadows. He will be trying to kill me in a month, after I recover. And he also wants to prove that I’m not a hero.” I trust Luna a lot more than Celestia. She just seems more normal.

“Hmm, did he have a cold, evil kind of voice?”

“Yes.”

“I think I might know him.”

“WHAT!?” All of us, with the exception of Luna, screamed in unison.

“Yes, let me explain. He visited me on the moon, about half-way through the thousand years. He said he was banished also, but he escaped within an hour. He wore a brown rope, so I’m not sure what he looked like. But he sounded like he wanted revenge.”

“That’s all?” I asked Luna. “That’s all you know? I may not be alive in a month, and that’s all you know?”

“If you need protection,’ Celestia said, “I would be more than happy to assign royal guards to you.”

“Royal guards would only make it worse. Keep them.” I told her. “I need to be trained. I need to learn more spells.”

“First off, you need to be able to detect him when he’s vanished, or stop him from doing it. There’s a thermal vision spell that should do the trick.” Twilight told me as she flipped through a book on eye spells. I said,

“Maybe not, if he can meld into the shadows, he wouldn’t give off any heat.”

“What do you propose then?”

“He won’t want to escape, we can count on that. So, the only thing we can do is make sure that his attacks do minimal damage, or even find a way to counter, or find some spell that has a large area of effect.”

“Hmm, like a shockwave? Those are easy to learn, but hard to do and tire you out quickly. I don’t think there’s enough time for you to defend yourself. I think we should just hide you, and take care of the threat ourselves.”

“Wait... enough time... that gives me an idea. Why do you think he gave me a month?”

“To train and prepare?”

“No, so my leg could heal. He wasn’t expecting me to train. Maybe he doesn’t want to fight. Maybe he’s going test me in a different way.”

“Interesting theory, but it could still be very dangerous.”

“Then come with me, you will always be better at magic than me. But there’s one thing I’m better than you at, and will always be.”

“And what would that be?”

“Cheating.”

Chapter 44: Just what are you?

"Games!? You want to kill me and you call this a game!? You're a sick twisted..." I yelled at the pony trying to kill me. "What have you done with the princesses and Twilight?"

"Nothing. Chrysalis on the hand, I don't know what she did to them," Scavell said. My jaw tightened from anger. That's why Chrysalis wanted me the other day. She was part of his plan. I think I'm starting to understand what's going on. Chrysalis defeated the princesses before, but then she had love. I don't know if she has as much power as before, so it's a total gamble on wether or not she can stop the ponies from helping me. I feel like I should already have a plan on how to win in place, but I just can't think of any possible paths to that goal. I need to acquire more data.

The only problem with that, is that he's managing to keep me guessing. And I can't risk it. I need to infer to create new data and form more options. He's attacks are shadow based, and seem to relay on a sight. His personality is unpredictable, suicidal almost. There's a stark contrast between his mannerisms and attacks. He talks like someone who's mentally unstable, yet the way he attacks sugeests grace and discipline. Almost like... he has a split personality, each coming out when he does certain things.

"I have to wonder, why not just kill me in my sleep?" I said, in an attempt to gather more evidence on his split personality.

"Ha, I tried, but I thought it would be unfair."

"You? Which you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You fight strictly, honor-bound. But you talk like you would try to kill me at anytime. I almost wonder if you have tried, but you could just never do it becuase you stopped yourself when you started an attack."

"What are you getting at?"

"You have two minds. Two very different consciences. One comes out when your talking, the other when your fighting. It almost seems like it was engineered into you. Like it's native for you to act like this. I should've detected this sooner, but you kept throwing me off track. I understand you." He growled at me once I said that. He then charged at me.

"You don't know anything!" He yelled as he brought a hoof covered in black flames to my chest. The hut connected, and I was sent flying into the wall. That fighting style surprised me, it was very unlike him. It was like his suicidal conscience made the attack. So, if I provoke him, the unruly side of him will come out. I can use this. I can turn this against him. I will play with his emotions, and force him to change personalities when I want it to.

And that's my live-saving plan. I knew I would come up with something. I looked back at him, and he appeared to be conjuring some weapon. Black swords with green flames manifested around each of his hooves. This is so unfair. Why can't I ever do anything cool? Scavell jumped into the air, and started spinning. A black aura formed around him, and he shot himself at me. He was like a helicopter with the swords. Anything at that speed would chop my head off in one swing. I had a split-second to react. I picked up a broken piece of wood off the ground with my magic. The wood was from when I crashed into the wall. I then shot the wood at Scavell, but his swords shred it to bits.

He dashed right at me, little time was left to escape. Everytime I moved, he shifted his path to hit me again. It was clear I couldn't escape. But maybe I didn't need to. I'm not going to just sit here and die, and I've been analyzing his attacks. I couldn't figure out how to turn into a shadow, but with my knowledge of optics and wavelengths, I might be able to create an illusion of myself, and that way I ca- wait, what didn't think of this earlier? Fuck that advanced magic shit I was trying to do, I have technology. I used levitation and pressed the on button to the hologram generator in the ceiling. Four holograms of appeared around me. They folowed my every move. Scavell, surprised at this, stopped spinning and jumped away from me.

"This is what I call Magic: Human Style," I told Scavell.

"I've never seen this type of magic before. What branch is this on?"

"It isn't on a branch. It's the product of seventy years of human innovation." Scavell shifted his head, examining every single hologram. "Don't bother trying to find out which is real."

"If you're doing it, there must be something wrong. Magic isn't perfect, and neither are you."

"True, but I'm not doing this. Nopony may be perfect, but that's exactly why humans have computers. They don't make mistakes. And you won't be able to tell which one is me." It seems my luck is beginning to change. Scavell then began to laugh maniacally.

"You can't beat me! I'm the master at illusions! This is nothing more than a petty magic trick!" A pulse of dark energy shot out of him, causing me to shoot backwards. All the holograms did also, but I crashed into a mirror, the rest slammed into other objects, but they didn't damage them and they looked fake. A piece of glass slashed my back left leg. "So, you're the real one. I told you these simple tricks won't stop me." I wiped a spot of blood of my face. Scavell closed his eyes, a dark aura emitting around him. The rest of the environment changed also, to some kind of hospital hallway. Like the one you would find in a horror movie. Another illusion. I got up and did what I did before, trying to disrupt his spell with an excess amount of magic from me.

But nothing happened. I asked him,

“How do you know about this place? It’s a hospital, but it’s human design.”

“We’re not in Equestria anymore,” Scavell told me. He then chraged up his magic, and shot a bolt at me. A dark blue shield formed around me, protecting me from the attack.

“Get thou hooves off sir Blaze!” Luna yelled as she appeared next to me.

“How did you get here?!” I asked Luna.

“My sister and Twilight were busy with Chrysalis, but I detect the magic trail used for a teleport this large. So, I teleported where the trail lede me. I knew it came from where you were, and there’s no barricades blocking me from getting in here. Who is the evil one attacking you?”

“You can call me Scavell,” he said, with a light chuckle. Luna’s eyes went wide at the mention of the name.

“You. I know who you are. Why the pseudonym? When you visited me on the moon, you called yourself Mehdoff,” Luna told Scavell. I had no clue what was going on.

“That... was a long time ago. Things have changed.”

“I can tell. Your eyes are different. You’re filled with pain. What is your business with Neon?”

“That has nothing to do with you. You’re nothing but an inconvenience.”

“Ah, I understand now. You accepted another soul into your body. I remember, all that time ago when I was banished to the moon. You had a horn, and it wasn’t broken. Back then, you had one soul. The one you were born with. His name was Mehdoff. You were on a quest for power, to protect the innocent. And one day, you found another soul, but the soul lied. He said he’d give you power, but what he didn’t tell you is that he was evil. The soul’s name was Scavell. He took over your body, you tried to stop him, but your horn broke off from all the magic flowing through your combined souls. It was too late, and now you keep Mehdoff around, because he’s a better fighter than you. Or maybe you just can’t get rid of him.” Scavell screamed, and thrashed about.

“No no no! Get out! The past! It stings!”

“Luna,” I asked, “how do you know this?”

“It was in the legend. An ancient drawing in one of the moon caves. I had a thousand years to make sense of it. Only I knew about up until now. There are many different planets out there, each very different to the last. But Scavell is nothing more than a pawn. For what, I don’t know. I also don’t know why he needs you gone. Something you should, Mehdoff isn’t bad. Scavell is. If we can separate them, Mehdoff will be freed,” Luna said.

“How? Is that even possible?”

“It should be, but I can’t do it. His soul may already be far too corrupted to be saved.”

“NO,” Scavell yelled. “I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR LIES. YOU MUST DIE.” He then started to gather magic around him. A black ball of energy formed in front of him. He talked again, but in a much different tone of voice. Almost like, he was scared. Regretful. It was like a different person altogether. “S-save me. He... has too much control over me.”

“And that’s Mehdoff’s soul. You look injured, Neon. Stay back, I’ll handle this for now.” Luna lowered the shield and walked toward Scavell. Her horn glowed a deep blue. Scavell was mentally fighting himself, he couldn't see Luna approaching. She touched her horn to Scavell, and his eyes turned all black, then he slumped to the floor. “Don’t worry,” Luna said as she turned to me. “He’s fine. I did a powerful mind trap spell. Thought it won’t hold him for long, it will be good enough until we can free him. Now, let’s return to Equestria.” I was teleported in a flash of light. Once the flash subsided, I found Twilight trying to protect Celestia with a shield. Celestia was knocked out, and Twilight didn’t look like she could hold the shield much longer. Chrysalis had a black beam of magic focused on the shield.

“She’s mine,” I told Luna. I ran up to Chrysalis, while yelling, “I call this human style!” And then I uppercutted her before she could escape. She didn’t have enough time to react because she was busy trying to take down Twilight’s shield. “The plan’s failed, Chrysalis. Return back to your cave, and never crawl out. Scavell is done for.” She hissed at me, and vanished. “Everypony okay?” I asked Twilight as she lowered the shield.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just tired,” Twilight responded. “Celestia didn’t take too bad of a hit, she’ll be fine also. But, you’re going to have to tell me what happened in there.”