“Well? What do you think?” Rarity exclaimed.
“Uh… well it… it sure is… um… big.” her compatriot replied.
“Possibly the biggest mall in all of Equestria.” Rarity said brightly. “This place has anything a pony could want! So many clothes stores! Horseshoe stores! Stores for beautification and personal pampering!”
Applejack’s expression told Rarity that she wasn’t impressed.
After Rarity’s rather chaotic attempt at taking Pinkie Pie to her first mall, and the famed King of Pranceshia mall at that, the pink pony had told all her friends about just how amazing the place was. But to Rarity’s surprise and shock, she had another friend who had never been to a mall before. Only this friend had been a great deal less interested than Pinkie Pie had been in Rarity’s invitation.
It had taken a great deal of coaxing, entreating, pleading, and pestering for Rarity to finally persuade Applejack to accompany her on her trip to the mall. Applejack had highly suspected that this was another one of Rarity’s attempts to introduce the farm pony to a more sophisticated lifestyle. (She was right in this.) But Rarity had assured her that there was so much at the mall that anypony could enjoy a trip there.
However, at the moment, Applejack was looking rather uncomfortable. The place rather reminded her of her stay in Manehatten, and that was making her feel a bit out of place, dredging up old memories of trying to fit into the fancy life.
Rarity noticed this, and decided to try to guide her friend along, hoping to find something to interest her.
“Why are there so many gol-durned clothes shops?” Applejack asked Rarity as the orange mare looked about. “It ain’t like anypony really needs so many clothes. I mean, they’re clothes, right? Ya wear ‘em. Why do they need all those stores in the first place?”
“Well, because each store sells a particularly different type of clothing.” Rarity explained.
Applejack scrutinized some of the clothes stores.
“I don’t notice much different ‘bout ‘em.” she replied. “Fancy outfit store, fancy outfit store, stylish outfit store, another stylish outfit store. There’s dozens ‘a stores sellin’ pretty much the same stuff right near each other! And sports clothes? Who the hay needs those? If’n yer runnin’ around sweatin’ and such, why would y’all wear somethin’? I’ve been ta plenty ‘a rodeos, never once needed some special pants or nothing ta help me run.”
“Well, darling, it can’t hurt to have a variety to choose from.” Rarity stated.
“Yeah, but you got all kinds of clothes at your boutique.” Applejack pointed out. “Y’all don’t need a different store jes ‘cause yer sellin’ somethin’ else.”
Rarity smiled rather proudly. “Yes, well, I suppose that is true. I am on the cutting edge of fashion, after all.” she said, flaunting her mane. “But why complain? It’s so much fun to travel to each store, seeing what they’re selling, making comparisons, trying on outfits. Oh, darling, please indulge me and try on a few ensembles. Some of these would look so fetching on you.”
Applejack looked inside one of the stores. “Well… I ain’t about ta try on anything frou-frou.” she stated. “But… well, I guess I ain’t against lookin’ fer somethin’ I could wear ta market day.”
*****************************************************************
“Well, this’ll do nicely!” Applejack said happily as she tried on a pair of denim jeans and a brown jacket. “This stuff seems nice and tough. Jes what I need ta go traipsin’ through those briar patches on the property. This’ll make clearin’ those out a breeze!”
Rarity sighed, putting her hoof to her head.
“Applejack must you be so practical?” she asked. “You know, an outfit can be worn simply to improve one’s appearance.”
Applejack looked thoughtful. “Y’all have a point, Rares.” she stated.
“Well, I’m glad you see it….”
“If’n I’m wearin’ a nice-lookin’ outfit, I bet our market day sales would go even better!” Applejack continued. “A little charm goes a long way when sellin’ apples.”
Rarity sighed again. “Well… I suppose I will have to take what I can get.” she muttered to herself. “Practical style is better than no style at all.”
“Hey, Rarity!” Applejack called. “ Lookit these shirts! I reckon I’d look right nice in one ‘a those.”
Rarity noticed that Applejack was staring at a rack of plaid red shirts. But not in the section Rarity had expected to find her.
“Darling, those are for stallions.” she informed Applejack.
Applejack snorted. “Fer stallions, my hoof!” she exclaimed. “I like ‘em.”
Rarity sighed yet again, having the feeling that she would be doing a great deal more sighing in the near future.
“Dearie, at least let us check the other stores to see if they have something similar that would better show off your femininity.”
“Ma what now?” Applejack asked with a confused look.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “I suspected as much.”
*****************************************************************
“Y’all have got ta be pullin’ my leg.” Applejack muttered to herself. “A shop that sells nothin’ but candles? I thought Pinkie was makin’ that up.”
“Ah, Applejack, let’s go see what this other store has.” Rarity said nervously as Applejack entered the candle shop. “That candle shop is really boring and….”
Applejack had went in anyways, drawn by sheer curiosity. Rarity sighed and followed after her.
As they entered, the clerk gave Rarity a nasty glare.
“I trust this friend is better behaved than the last.” the clerk said dryly.
“Oh, you needn’t worry.” Rarity said quickly, giving an awkward grin. She didn’t like the way that the clerk was staring at her.
Applejack was sniffing a few of the candles, looking quite pleased.
“Well, I’ll be darned.” she exclaimed. “Pinkie weren’t wrong when she said how good these here candles smell. No wonder she tried ta take a bite out of ‘em!”
Applejack picked up a candle which had a particularly pleasing scent, walking over to the counter with it.
“I’ll take one a’ these.” she stated. “It’ll be jes the thing ta make ma room smell nice. ‘Course, I reckon the downstairs don’t need it none. Always smells like apple pie, or apple butter or apple cobbler or somethin’.”
The clerk merely gave her a cold stare as she took the candle. “That will be thirty bits.” she said in a flat tone.
“Thirty bits?!” Applejack cried in shock. “For jes one pretty-smellin’ candle? No way. I’ll give y’all ten bits.”
The clerk stared hard at Applejack. “The price is thirty bits, ma’am.”
“Alright, fifteen.” Applejack relented.
“Thirty. Bits.” the clerk stated, saying each word slowly and with a great deal of emphasis.
“Eighteen.” Applejack said firmly. “That’s my final offer.”
Rarity came up to Applejack’s side.
“Um, Applejack.” she whispered. “Ponies don’t barter here.”
“What?!” Applejack cried. “So a pony can jes slap any ol’ price they darn well please on somethin’ and that’s it?”
“Well, yes.” Rarity replied.
“Huh.” Applejack exclaimed. “And I thought you fancy folk were smart.”
She pushed the candle back towards the clerk. “Keep yer overpriced night-light.” she stated. “And by the way, y’all have a lot to learn about salesmareship.”
As Applejack left, the clerk gave her and Rarity a withering look.
Rarity turned away, shaking her head. “Between bringing in Applejack and Pinkie Pie, I think I am fast becoming that clerk’s enemy.”
*****************************************************************
Rarity sighed as Applejack rode up the escalator for the twelfth time. Applejack had never seen such a device before, and was thoroughly fascinated.
“Hoo-wee!” she cried. “I would like ta git me one a’ these! It’d make fillin’ the barn’s loft easier than fallin’ off a greased fence.”
“Applejack, that is a means of transportation, not a ride.” Rarity sighed as Applejack reached the top.
“Aw, phooey on that.” Applejack replied, getting on the down escalator. “Y’all don’t need stairs ta move ta git up ‘em. That’s what hooves are fer. I reckon this is jes fer a bit o’ fun fer the customers.”
Rarity rolled her eyes as Applejack went down the escalator yet again, only to ride up the one beside it when she came to the bottom.
“Well, I suppose this is her first time at a mall.” Rarity muttered to herself. “I suppose I should have expected that she wouldn’t be used to such things.”
*****************************************************************
As the two mares trotted along, Applejack spotted a toy store, filled with flashing lights and bright colors.
“Y’know, I should git Apple Bloom somethin’ nice while I’m here.” she stated.
“That’s not a bad idea, Applejack.” Rarity mused. “And I suppose it would be nice to find something for Sweetie Belle to play with while I’m working.”
Applejack went inside, closely followed by Rarity. As they entered Applejack stared in wonder.
“Well, bless my stars.” she gasped. “Lookit all these fancy doodads.”
The store was indeed filled with all manner of interesting toys, quite a few of which were magically powered. Model pegasi hung from strings, circling in the air. A model train ran around a track with miniature trees and hills. Wind-up toys scurried about display tabletops. And the air was filled with a cacophony of beeps and squeals and whistles and squeaks and about a hundred other noises that Applejack couldn’t make out.
“Well, I know where I’m going for Sweetie Belle’s present.” Rarity stated, trotting towards an aisle that was bright pink. “You just browse about, Applejack darling. See if you can’t find something that would suit your little sister’s tastes.”
As Rarity left, Applejack began to look about.
She quickly found that, despite all the color and flair, there was very little there that would keep a foal entertain for more than two or three days in a row. And many of these things were so annoying or strange or downright stupid that Applejack found herself remembering Discord’s reign in Ponyville.
“What in the hay is that thing?” Applejack muttered to herself as she stared at a writhing feathery… thing that curled about on a display stand. As she moved forwards for a closer look at the brightly colored whatever-it-was, she accidentally kicked a strange ball which was covered in small rubbery protrusions.
To Applejack’s horror, the ball began to cackle like a crazed demon.
“Ah!” Applejack cried. “Sweet Celestia! Is that thing possessed?!”
As if to answer her question, the ball began to jiggle and vibrate, bouncing about the floor as if it were alive.
And it was bouncing straight towards Applejack.
Applejack backed away from the unholy orb, banging into the shelf behind her. A box fell right into her hooves, and she found herself staring into a frilly doll’s empty eyes.
And then the doll blinked.
“Let’s go to the Gala!” the doll exclaimed in a high voice, her plastic mouth moving as she spoke.
Applejack shouted and promptly threw the doll across the store. She dashed into an aisle and tried to catch her breath.
“This place is crazier than that fun house Pinkie Pie tried ta make.” Applejack muttered.
As she finally began to breathe slower, she realized that she had stumbled into the game aisle.
“A nice, quiet board game.” Applejack sighed. “That oughta be jes the thing fer Apple Bloom.”
Applejack looked over a couple of the games, finally choosing Settlers of Equestria.
“This looks like a fun game fer the little filly ta play with her friends.” Applejack said, taking the game and making her way out of the aisle.
But before she could get out, the demon ball leapt out in front of her, stopping in front of the aisle and cackling like a deranged maniac.
Applejack screamed out of surprise, and instinctively bucked the possessed sphere across the store.
The ball went soaring into a nearby shelf.
A shelf covered with similar balls.
Suddenly, the air was filled with demonic, mocking laughter. Applejack shrank back as she looked up at the surrounding shelves. The balls were staring down at her from the shelves.
All of a sudden, with a storm of maniacal cackles, the balls sprung to life, leaping down all about Applejack. A couple hit her in the head, stunning her.
“They’re attackin’ me!” Applejack thought fearfully. Obviously the magic that had animated the balls had gone haywire. Assuming that evil spirits weren’t possessing these toys, of course.
But Applejack was not a pony who was easily swayed by fear. She raised her hooves and bucked the balls back, diving and dodging as they surrounded her, leaping about and falling past her head.
One ball flew into a shelf full of robot-pony toys. The robot-ponies’ eyes all began to light up and blink red.
“SURRENDER EQUESTRIA!” the robot-ponies began to blare. “CANTERLOT WILL BE OURS!” As they fell upon the ground, some of them began to thrash their legs about as they fell upon their sides or backs, but others landed on their feet. Some moved towards Applejack, while others went in other directions, obviously intent on overthrowing Canterlot.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Applejack cried, leaping towards the robot-ponies. It was clear now that somehow dark magic had tainted the toys. Was there some evil unicorn sorcerer lurking nearby? More likely it was Discord. Turning toys into his personal army sounded like his style, and Applejack recalled just how bizarre and chaotic the store was. But Discord or no, Applejack wasn’t about to let these deranged playthings overthrow anything, not while she was still standing.
Applejack began to throw kicks right and left. More toys began to fly into various shelves, awakening the hordes of Tartarus that sat upon them.
“Let’s play!” cried a doll as it was launched off the shelf into the melee.
“DESTROY! DESTROY!” the robot-ponies shouted.
“Aaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!” cackled the spheres from Tartarus.
Stuffing and springs flew every which way as Applejack smashed through her assailants. A bag of marbles fell upon the ground, sending Applejack sliding into a shelf, from which fell a gang of toy soldier ponies, their pointy spears poking her.
“I order you to stand down!” the soldier toys shouted.
“Y’all never take alive!” Applejack hollered, kicking and thrashing as the soldiers jabbed at her with their spears.
She rose to her hooves, but one of those giggling Tartarus-spawned balls bounced into a shelf, knocking down large tubs willed with small plastic bricks. Applejack winced in pain as she tried to stumble across them, but fell again, feeling the sharp bricks stab her body like thorns.
Willing herself on, Applejack struggled to her hooves, fighting back the tears in her eyes as she hobbled across the spiky toy bricks. As she reached the other side, she turned back, looking at the swarm of toys with cold determination.
“Y’all messed with the wrong cowpony!” she cried.
She had landed near a bin of baseballs, and now those baseballs were turned into destructive projectiles as Applejack used her powerful legs to buck them at the hordes of malevolent playthings. After shattering their line, she grabbed a nearby scooter, taking a baseball bat in her teeth, and rode over the sharp bricks and marbles into the fray, swinging like a berserker.
When the insane cackling and threatening orders to surrender were finally silenced, Applejack stood amidst the debris, puffing loudly as steam came from her nostrils.
Something fell behind her. Applejack whipped about to see Rarity, her mouth agape, the My Little Person doll she had bought Sweetie Belle dropped on the ground in utter shock.
“Well, it’s about time!” Applejack cried. “I jes had ta deal with a swarm a’ crazy evil toys! We’ve got ta tell the Princess about this! Discord could be back to his ol’ tricks!”
Rarity just continued to stare in utter disbelief. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, no matter how much she wanted to.
“Ma’am?”
Applejack turned to see a pair of guards staring very hard at her.
“Is this your doing?” one asked.
“Sure is!” Applejack cried. “Those things were crazy! They were attackin’ me! I bet Discord’s behind this! Y’all have ta take me to the princesses!”
The guards gave one another worried looks, as their initial idea that Applejack was a vandal quickly switched out for the frightening idea of an unsafe maniac pony.
“Now just come with us.” the first guard said softly. “We’ll make sure to take you someplace safe.”
“And don’t worry. We’ll make sure to warn the princess.” the second guard added.
“Well, y’all better!” Applejack hollered. “This place is dangerous!”
As the guards walked Applejack out, she picked up the Settlers of Equestria game she had planned to get for Apple Bloom, and held it out to the cashier.
“Before I go… how much is this?”
*****************************************************************
“Princess Celestia!” the guards cried. “We are sorry to interrupt you, but the Element of Generosity is here. She seems rather… distraught over an incident at the King of Pranceshia mall.”
Celestia looked down from her throne, raising an eyebrow curiously.
“Send her in.” she exclaimed.
As the doors opened, Rarity strode in, walking beside an irate Applejack, who was hoofcuffed between two guards.
Celestia’s other eyebrow went up at this. “Rarity, Applejack, might I ask why exactly you are here? And why is Applejack hoofcuffed?”
“Discord’s back, yer Highness!” Applejack hollered. “Or at least some crazy wizard er somethin’.”
Rarity sighed. “Applejack was… startled when we went into a toy store to get some presents for our sisters.”
“Startled?” Applejack cried. “Those things were tryin’ ta overthrow Canterlot!”
Celestia broke out in a knowing grin. “I think I see the problem here.”
*****************************************************************
A few minutes later, Rarity and Applejack walked out of the palace. Applejack no longer was hoofcuffed or escorted by any guards, but her face was red with shame.
“How the hay was I supposed ta know y’all had toys which could talk and move all on their own?” Applejack asked. “I ain’t never seen nuthin’ that crazy since Discord’s reign.” She sighed heavily. “I made a right foal of myself, didn’t I?”
“Well, at least the princess was understanding.” Rarity said comfortingly.
“I still don’t feel right lettin’ her pay fer all that stuff.” Applejack grumbled.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Do you think you really could afford to cover the damages yourself?”
Applejack sighed. “I suppose not. But why do y’all think the princess was smirkin’ when she said she understood the whole thing?”
Rarity shrugged. “That’s her own business, I suppose.” she replied.
“I guess I ruined your day, huh?” Applejack asked guiltily.
Rarity sighed, looking at Applejack. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t be prudent to return to the mall today.” she admitted. “But there are lots of other places to go in Canterlot that we could enjoy ourselves at!”
Applejack’s face lifted a bit. “Fine by me. And since I caused ya so much trouble, I’ll even go to one a’ those frou-frou places with ya.”
“Oh, Applejack you don’t have to….” Rarity began, but Applejack held up a hoof to stop her.
“Nope. Ain’t gonna here it.” she stated. “I owe you one fer helpin’ me out back there. If it hadn’t been fer yer fancy talk and whinin’ and such, convincing the guards ta let us see the princess, I might be locked up right now.”
A smile came across Rarity’s face. “Well, if you insist.” she tittered. “There’s this lovely new formal wear shop I’ve been hoping to visit.”
“Then let’s go!” Applejack said, trotting off.
As Rarity began to follow her, she cast a look down at the mall. She suddenly noticed something she had never noticed before, mostly because she would never have been seen in that part of the mall if she could help it. But an idea began to form in her head.
*****************************************************************
“I thought y’all said we weren’t goin back to the mall.” Applejack stated after a long tour of the formal wear shop. She had enjoyed seeing Rarity so happy as she looked over the designs, but it had been a rather grueling session for her.
“Well, we’re just going to stop in this one area before we leave.” Rarity replied. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”
Applejack looked unconvinced, but followed after Rarity anyways.
But her eyebrows raised hopefully as she saw the inviting construct of the area they were entering. It was built to look like it was made from logs, and over the door hung a sign that said Horse Pro Shop.
As they entered, Applejack’s face lit up with surprise. All around her were all sorts of things. Not the frou-frou, flashy things she had expected, but homey, down-to-earth things that were both practical and pleasing to the eye.
Applejack strode over to a rack of clothes, examining a red plaid shirt made for mares. Then she shifted over to look at a rack of denim jeans, then over to an aisle hung with the most high-quality lasso ropes.
“Is… is that a rock climb over yonder?” she asked, waving her hoof.
Rarity smiled at Applejack’s delight. “Didn’t I tell you? You can find something to please everypony at the mall.”
Applejack turned towards Rarity with a thankful smile. “I guess y'all were right. Thanks, Rares.” she said softly. Then her face lit up in a big grin. “Ya know, I jes might like ta come here with ya again some day. My treat!” Then she blushed, and looked a bit awkward. “’Course without the ruckus I caused earlier.”
“I think… I would enjoy that.” Rarity replied with a little grin.
Applejack turned about. “All right. I’m gonna go check out that rock climb. Y’all care ta come along?”
“I’ll be just fine watching you, darling.” Rarity replied. “In fact, I think I could use some time to compose a letter for Princess Celestia”
*****************************************************************
Dear Princess Celestia,
Recent events have taught me a valuable lesson about friendship. Sometimes your friends will be aggravating or troublesome or embarrassing, and you may feel at the moment that they are far too different from you to be a good friend.
But even the best of friends make mistakes, and cause us trouble at times. The important thing is that we learn to forgive, and overcome these problems.
I learned that many times, your friends don’t even notice that they are causing you trouble. They may even think that they are helping. So even when they do cause trouble, you should forgive them, because a true friend always has your best interest at heart.
Sincerely, your loyal subject Rarity.
Celestia looked up from the letter, chuckling to herself.
“How true that is.” she stated with a grin. “After all, you’ve been quite the hoofful at times, haven’t you Luna?”
Sitting across from Celestia, Luna rolled her eyes.
“It has been some time since we last wrecked a toy store, sister.” she replied. “I was a filly then. I can understand Applejack’s reaction, due to her rural upbringing, but I believe that the comparison is better suited to our past foalhood than the present.”
Celestia shrugged, levitating up a box and giving it to Luna.
“Speaking of presents, I believe the owner of the toy shop sent you this gift.” she said.
“Why would he send me one?” Luna asked confusedly. “I did nothing to merit reward.”
“I told him that you might appreciate a gift as well.” Celestia stated. “I already received a lovely chess set.”
Luna suspiciously scrutinized Celestia’s face, but Celestia’s expression remained neutral.
“I have my royal duties to attend to.” Celestia stated, standing up. “In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the present.”
As Celestia left, Luna pried open the box, taking care to do so as far away from herself as possible. She knew Celestia had a love for pranks.
But within, she found a letter.
Dear Princess Luna,
I hope that you enjoy this toy. I was assured that this would be something that would be entertaining for you. Please enjoy it with my compliments.
Luna reached into the box, and pulled out a strange ball with rubbery protrusions upon it.
“What manner of amusement is this?” she mused.
She drew the ball close to her face, narrowing her eyes. “Reveal thy secrets.” she ordered.
Suddenly, the ball burst into cacophonous laughter, startling Luna and causing her to drop it upon the floor.
“Thou mockest thy princess, sphere?!” she cried.
The ball suddenly began to bounce and jiggle about of its own accord, cackling demonically.
“Tis possessed!” Luna shouted. “HAVE AT THEE, UNHOLY ABOMINATION!!!”
As Luna’s thunderous hoof blows resounded through the halls, Celestia chuckled to herself.
“Oh, Luna.” she giggled to herself. “How much you’ve changed, and yet how much the same you still are.”
Author's Note
Okay, before anypony tells me that Applejack was acting a little crazy in this, keep in mind that she's never seen these kind of things before. And in a world where electronics are rare if not nonexistent, and where magic has a tendency to go haywire, mechanical devices or moving, talking toys would be very alien and shocking to a pony who's grown up most of her life without either.
Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
