Castle Crashingby NordenfeltChaptersCrazy or SaintPoor Unfortunate TunesA Russian and a Scotsman Loch Ness CosmonautsRun, Knights, Run!Crazy or Saint"Check." Green said, moving his bishop near Red's king. "No." He moved the king up higher on the board. "Sorry, checkmate." Green tapped two pawns in the way of the king. "No it is not." He pulled back. "Checkmate." He tapped the rook. "Rook, remember?" "Fine, you win...again." Red sulked, flicking his knight at Green. Both where knights, though most people called them "Castle Crashers" the helmets were odd, a rectangle with a triangle stuck on the bottom. God knows what their heads look like; his shield lay on the graveyard ground, green, the cross on his chest glowed slightly, green. Red was the same, except the cross and shield were red; simple really. Both of them sat on chairs made out of toppled tombstones, they played on a table made out of stacked gravestones, the board was a tombstone which had been the squares had been engraved by themselves, the pieces were the bones of the skeletons they had just fought. "Where is this guy anyway?" Red turned his head around and shouted to Orange. Orange span around, lighting a cigar with his flames. "The boss?" He coughed. "No idea but one thing; what is he?" "I don't really know." He turned back to Green. "Who is the boss?" He whispered over to him. "Your guess is as good as mine, hold on," he pulled a book from his back of his shield, which read 'instruction manual'. "Castle, Ship, Desert," he muttered as he flicked through the pages. "Here we are! Graveyard!" He said, proudly. "Who's the boss then?" Orange shouted gruffly. "It says... living tombstone?" Green stared dumbfounded at the page. "The living tombstone?" Orange and Red said in unison. "Yo, Blue!" Red shouted at the knight, shooting ice at a headstone. "The living tombstone?" Blue just shrugged and went back to looting. "Is there an image?" Red questioned. "Yeah, it's not a tombstone though." Orange said. "It's something in stone but not a gravestone." "What is it?" Orange and red said, with Orange spluttering. "It's a...pony." "A pony?" "Yeah, it's got head phones, blue hair with red tips and it's got a tattoo that's a tombstone with headphones and arms." "It's a statue, is it?" Orange tried to shift the subject. "I don't know, it's body is grey, so maybe that's stone." "Why are we fighting a pony?" Red's eye flawed slightly with electricity."We fought aliens, gigantic barbarians and corn that was alive! Why of all things, a pony?" "God's plan?" Orange questioned, throwing down his cigar and shrugging. "God? I believe in science." He snapped back. "But we have magic." Blue had came over without them noticing. "So? I still believe in science." "Even though we've seen corn that was alive?" "Yes!" "Guys!" Orange shouted. "Do you hear that?" The faint sound of metal sounding footsteps. "Horse shoes!" He grinned. "Ready up!" Red shouted, as all the knights held up their shields and readied their swords, aiming for the tomb that couldn't be blasted open. The steps got louder. "Who's using magic?" Blue said, letting his defense drop for a second. The steps got louder. "Well, Green's got poison, Blue, you got ice. I've got electricity. Orange has fire... All of us?" Red said, holding his chin with his shield. The steps got louder. "Everyone!" Orange shouted. "Just use swords, if you want to use magic fair enough!" The steps got louder. "Fine, fine-" The stone doors burst open, to reveal the stallion. "I'm howling at the moon." The living Tombstone muttered. "Uh?" Blue said. "Did it just speak?" "Maybe but who's cares?" As he looked around, they shook their heads. "Good, kill it!" They charged forward, straight at the stallion. It just smirked, as Orange swung at it; it jumped out of sight and landed back behind them. They span around and charged again; it jumped again. This time only two charged, the stallion jumped into the middle. "Magic!" Blue shouted. All of their eyes started to burn and smoke. "Fire!" Red shouted. The stallion was electrified by Red, showing it's skeleton. Orange fired after Red couldn't go further, it's hair burnt to a crisp and it's skin got two tones dark. Blue fired, freezing it's hooves, making it's flesh be tinted with a bit of blue. Green fired, it was poisoned, it swayed back and forth. "Charge!" Green screamed, as it continued to sway. They all struck it with the swords, it flashed red with every hit. It kept swaying as the knights drew back, it stopped. It paused, standing there, not moving. "Charge?" Orange muttered, they nodded. Charging again, Living Tombstone smiled. He pulled a small speaker with a crank on the side basically out of nowhere and started to wind it up. The knights stopped, mid run. "Back off slowly." He muttered, holding his sword in front of Red and his shield in front of green. As the speaker stopped making it's music box like noises, the knights crept forward every so slightly. The stallion pressed down a button, music started to blurt out the little box, it was so loud, they could physically see it, it looked like a blue wave. Their eyes were shaking. "Shields!" Blue tried to shout but as he moved his shield up, he was thrown back. After a while, the music stopped but the blue wave has still there and it was dragging in the knights. "No! No! No!" Orange shouted over and over, he grasped onto a tree's root. "Damn! Damn! Damn! Red said over and over, he grasped onto Orange's foot. "Seriously?" Blue said, being dragged to the wave. "Fine, this is ridiculous!" he said, he grasped onto Red's foot. "Damn you magic music!" Green shouted, he grasped onto Blue's foot. "Did you just call that thing 'Magic Music'?" Orange shouted from the root. "No, I said 'damn you magic music' and I meant that thing." He nodded to the blue wave. "Still, I'm not calling it Living Tombstone, his name is Magic Music now." "Fine, fine; hold on, Orange. Are you holding onto a tree root?" "Yeah, so?" "Look up." As Orange did, the tree which the root belonged to has coming up. "I think we may be screwed." Orange said. "Maybe, may-" The tree ripped from the ground and was pulled into the wave. "ARGH!" They all screamed at once, being pulled into the wave with it. "Damn, my head." Orange muttered, his eyes were still closed but he got up and held his head. "It ain't a hangover, I can tell you that." He heard Red's voice. Opening his eyes, he saw him offering his hand. Accepting it, he got up. Looking around, he saw green hills and a small town. "Okay; where are we?" He said, snapping his back with his hands. "No idea; sent Blue on a scouting mission. See if he could find anything." "You sent Blue?" "With Green, we should be okay." "Thank god!" "You said it." "Indeed I did. How long have we been here?" "Blue was the first to wake up, he send he had to wait an hour for Green to wake up, then two for me and I've had to wait thirty minutes for you." "Hold on," he tapped at his fingers. "So, minimum we've been here is three hours and thirty minutes?" "Right, though it could of been a lot longer." "I would say maybe eight hours and thirty at max." "Most likely." "Hey!" Orange said, seeing a log and running to it. "We make camp here?" "Good idea." Red ran to him, they both rolled the log to the center of the hill. "I'll get fire wood, you stay here." Orange said, pointing his finger down at the log. "Fine, fine; fire-y." "Oh," he turned from the wood line. "You call me fire-y again, your butt gets burnt." "Fine, fine. Firewood." "I'll give you that one, sparky." He said before walking into the forest. "Okay, firewood, firewood." He muttered to himself, cutting away a few wet branches to make a clear path. "Where art though be you firewood?" He chuckled. He walked further in, where the rain hadn't really touched the branches. "Here we are." He muttered seeing a pile of branches, as he reached for them, they hovered in the air. "Huh? I'm not tripping am I?" He looked at his hands. "My hands aren't rainbow colored, I'm fine." As different branches came from the many trees, they started to form a wolf. When the figure was completed, it roared at the knight. "Seriously? A wolf made of timber? A timber-wolf?" He muttered, slowly walking to the thing, dragging the sword. "Fine!" The wooden wolf tilted it's head, obviously confused by the knight not really caring. "I've got one, the timber-wolf of London!" Orange chortled. The wolf roared again, hoping for a reaction. "You aren't scaring me." He was close enough to smell the wolf's breath through the helmet, it was bad, really bad. "Brush your damn teeth man! Your breath smells like a dog's curled up business!" The wolf whimpered but roared again. "Oh shut up!" Orange roared back, as he made his way forward and was close enough; he slashed at the wolf's neck, it's head rolled across the floor. "Hello, firewood." He grabbed the large head and carried it back. When he got back, he saw Red trying to calm down Blue and Green just sitting down. He threw the head in front of Green and went over to Blue. "Hey! What's the matter!?" He said, making his eyes flare with fire, hoping that will make him stop his mumbling. "Orange! Ponies! Ponies in the town!" "Hold on, like Living Tombstone?" Orange questioned. "Uh-huh." Blue nodded nervously. "They got food?" He smirked, a bit of fire coming from his helmet. "Food?" He stammered, blinking wildly. "Yes, have they got it?" Fire started coming from his eye slits. "Yeah-h-h, they got stands and stalls." He stuttered. "Well, boys!" He shouted around him, drawing the others attention. "We are going to get some grub." The fire changed from orange to a black smoke. They crept to the town, with Orange's eyes still smoking. They dragged their swords down the hill and placed their backs against the walls. Looking around the corner, Orange's eye shot into fire again. "Yes!" He's fire changed from orange to blue, seeing a stall stocked with apples. But the stall was with a orange mare with a yellow pony tail and a stetson, stood next to her was a little filly with red hair. "I'm going burn them!" Orange said, with his fist becoming engulfed in orange flames. "NO!" Blue shouted, encasing his fist with ice. A few of the ponies turned to the noise but carried on. "Why not?" He snapped back. "We do not need to kill them!" "Fine, what do we do?" "We stealth it." "Stealth it?" "Yeah, stealth it. Sneaking around.... a bit like a snake." "Yeah but none of us have invisibility, we are more destructive than anything." Orange said, melting the ice off his fist. "Well, use that to an advantage." "How?" "Well, you see that?" Blue pushed around Orange and pointed to a hay bale. "Shoot it with fire." "Fine." His fist got engulfed in the orange flame, he crept his fist around the house, leaving a slight burn mark. "Shoot it now!" Blue muttered to him. Orange shot the hay bale, causing the ponies to either back off or stare at it. The orange one caught one sight of it and bolted for the fire, taking a bucket for her, dragging the bucket through a trough. With the little filly looking terrorifyed, the knights walked through the town; keeping out of the eye of the stallions and mares that ran past them. When they reached the stall, Blue and Green put their shield so the straps were facing the sky, as the others passed apples in the shields. As they finished and the other three went away, carrying the shields and orange was there grabbing a few for himself. She heard a whimper, as he looked over the stall, he saw the yellow filly cowering behind it. Orange looked at the fire, still burning with the mare fighting it. He looked at the filly, her face looked like she was staring death in his. He stretched forward, placed his finger on his lips and made a metallic shushing sound. "I am your nightmares, I am Death, I am the killer, I am the devil himself." His eyes blazed with a fire so strong, it reached over the top of the helmet and licked at the stall's top. "Remember that." He walked off with the fire still blazing. When he felt he was out of vision, he stopped the fire and started to laugh to himself as he went back to the camp. With ever small chuckle, fire seemed to start in his helmet then just die. Poor Unfortunate TunesThe four knights sat down around the camp fire, the timber head slowly burning. Each eating apples, after a while they ate most of the apples and they left the others for rations. "Why not a song?" Orange suggested, throwing an apple core onto the fire. "Fine, fine." The other three chanted back, doing the same. "In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning!" Orange sang in a low but loud opera voice. "And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be!" He stood up, raising his hands. "It scared me out of my wits!" He chimed, with his hands flaming. "A corpse falling to bits!" He chirped, raising his hands higher. "Then I opened my eyes," he lent towards his three other knights. "And the nightmare was...me!" He sang with a burning grin. "I was once the most mystical man in all Russia!" He hummed with real hatred in his voice. "When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake!" The hatred whirred louder. "My curse made each of them pay!" The fire in his eyes grew to blue. "But a little bug got away!" "Little Anya, beware, Orange's awake!" The rest hummed nervously. "In the dark of the night evil will find her! In the dark of the night just before dawn! Aah..." "Revenge will be sweet!" Orange sang louder. "When the curse is complete!" They all sang, with the others still nervously singing along. "In the dark of the night!" They sang again. "She'll be gone!" Orange grinned evilly. "I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!" His flames grew more. "Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!" Making the flames of the fire spin around his neck. "As the Pieces fall into place!" Throwing down circles of fire onto the ground. "I'll see her crawl into place!" Making his fingers tip toe. "Do run, Anya, Your Grace!" "As I say farewell..." "In the dark of the night terror will strike her!" Blue and Green sang as Red hummed. "Terror's the least I can do!" Orange danced around the fire. "In the dark of the night evil will brew. Ooh!" The others sang. "Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real." "In the dark of the night." "She'll be through!" "In the dark of the night," The others sang. "Evil will find her," they hummed. "Find her!" Blue hummed and the others sang. "Ooh!" They all made the low sound. "In the dark of the night terror comes true." "Doom her!" "My dear, here's a sign-" "It's the end of the line!" The knights sang together, with Orange picking up the evilness of the song. "In the dark of the night..." They all sang. "In the dark of the night..." "In the dark of the night..." "Come my minions," pointing at the other knights. "Rise for your master," making them rise from their seats. "Let your evil shine!" As instructed, their eyes started to glow as of their name's sake. "Find her now," he picked up his sword and pointed towards town. "Yes, fly ever faster!" He said, spinning around and pointing the sword at them. "In the dark of the night..." The others sang nervously. "In the dark of the night..." Their sweat ran down the helmets. "In the dark of the night.." They trembled as a naked man would in winter. "She'll be mine!" He said, turning back to the town, dropping the sword and raising the fire from his hands. He then span back. "Another?" "Okay," Blue said, shaking. "But not an evil one." Orange shot a fireball at him, knocking him down. The other's grasped. "Don't worry gentlemen, it's a flare. Nothing special, just a little parlor trick from Russia." Orange hummed, as he, almost, danced to Blue; offering him a hand. "Okay, fine; another song!" Blue said bitterly, taking the hand and rising back up. "Okay; let's start this again." Orange grinned. "Shiver My Timbers, shiver My Soul! Yo Ho He Ho" "There are men who's hearts as black as coal!" Blue sang, still bitter. "And they sailed there ship across the ocean blue!" Red picked up on Orange's opera voice from the first song. "A Blood thirsty captain and a cut throat crew!" Green sang, deep and low. "Its a darker tale as was ever told!" Orange chirped. "Of a lust for treasure and a love of gold..." Red hummed. "Shiver My Timbers, Shiver my sides!" Green chanted. "Yo ho he ho!" Blue sang bitterly. "Out on the endless ocean!" Orange hummed. "We tear along the gales!" Green chanted. "With rum inside our bellies warm!" Blue sang, slightly merrier. "And freedom in our sails!" Orange sang. He walked towards his fellow knights. "A wayward bunch of scoundrels," he nudged Blue. "Assassins," nudging Green. "thieves," tapping himself. "and slaves!" Poking Red. He danced back to where he had stood. "The rich and blue bloods fear us when!" Blue sang, almost sounded like he was laughing. "We hunt upon the waves!" Green chirped. "And when you see it-" Orange was cut off by an ball of ice smashing him in the head. "No need to worry gentlemen, it's just being knocked out cold just a little parlor trick from Scotland." He moved his shield to make a sort of bed. "Good night." A Russian and a Scotsman A Russian and a Scotsman "What do we do today?" Blue asked, waking up two of the knights from their half dead daze as Orange just rolled over and grumbled. "I don't know, man. Sleep?" Green had just woken up and had the iconic 'I've-just-woken-up-screw-every-living-thing' voice but with a bit of hope when he mentioned slumber. "Nah; we got to do something, we only got a quarter of our apples." He said, pointing to a pile of five apples. "Hello there Princess." Orange mumbled in his sleep. "Come here. No it isn't a sword, I'm just happy to see you." "Okay, odd; but still, sleep sounds good." Again, Red had just woken up and had the iconic 'I've-just-woken-up-screw-every-living-thing' voice but got a bit giddy when he mentioned sleep. "It's like eleven, wake up!" Though he protest, they just went back to lying down and happily snoring. "Just kidding about the happy thing," he chuckled in his sleep. "It is a sword!" "Why am I the only sane person here?" Blue muttered to himself. "Because you're Scottish!" Green shouted, trying to get to sleep. "How does that make sense?" "We'll, you got a Russian," pointing at the grinning Orange. "You got me being from London," Green tapped himself. "And you got him," pointing at Red. "Where is he from anyway?" "Australia!" Red muttered. "There you go." "How did that help?" "Well, a Scottish person can be the only sane person in a gang of a Londoner, a Russian and an Australian." He said, with a spite of sarcasm. "That's true." Orange said, lying back himself, putting his hand behind is head. "That'll teach you princess! No one screws with Orange!" He muttered, rolling over again. "Wake him up?" Blue asked, looking in Red and Green's direction. "Pedal to the metal version of 'hell yeah'" Red and Green shared a high five. "Okay, how that we are all awake." Orange stood with his left foot on a rock and his head getting wishes of an arrow through it from the others. "What are we going to do today?" "Get some new clothes?" Red said, pulling at the shirt of his suit. It was dirt and ragged. "I don't know about you guys but I would kill for a tuxedo or something instead of this rag." Flicking at the shirt. "I must agree with Red, a new set of clothes would be nice." Green said, doing the same pulling and flicking Red did. "Seriously, it would be delightful." "I saw a boutique in town when I searched." Blue said, already feeling it was a bad idea to wake up himself and everybody else. "Guys, guys, guys! This is a boutique for the ponies in that town! I don't think a human could ask-" "Sir." Blue raised his hand. "Yes, Blue?" "When I searched, she was serving a praying mantis." "A praying mantis?" Orange said, scratching his head. "Yeah, kitted out with top hat, tuxedo and that little ruffle thing on the front." He made a gesture, trying to make the 'ruffle thing on the front' but it made him like a squid. "Okay fine, we all about the same size, right?" He made a quick comparison. "Yeah about. Though Blue is a bit wider than a few of us, we send him to the boutique." "But Orange, we have no money." Red said. "That is where we come in, we will steal the money until the day of the suits being finished." "Uh?" The knights all made the noise. "Ask that you will pay when they are made not upfront. Then we have time to get the money." "You sure this will work?" Green titled his head, trying to figure out if Orange is a genius or just crazy. "She served a praying mantis, she can serve him." Pointing at Blue. "Okay, okay; how do we get the money?" Red said, raising his finger after the sentence. "We'll, a suit is about five hundred quid right?" Green questioned, smirking as he did. "Yeah, about." Orange responded with a questioning tone. "Well, we are going to need two thousand quid or whatever is used here. So we better get started soon." "We'll do it tomorrow, Blue," he pointed directly at him. "You go to the boutique, order four suits. Tuxedos maybe or whatever." He waved Blue away. "And we, get two thousand pieces, aye?" "Aye!" Green responded. "What does 'aye' mean?" Red questioned, resting his head on his shoulders. "It means yes." Green snapped back. "Oh okay, aye then!" Blue was the last one asleep, the only thing to keep him company was his other knights mumbling and snoring in their sleep. "Come here Stalin!" Orange mumbled. "I'll slap you like I did Rasputin!" "God damn it, boy!" Red grumbled. "We don't want to put you down!" "One more beer!" Green hiccuped in his sleep. "Correction; two more beers!" "Try as you might Abe!" Orange muttered happily. "I got your hat!" "I betted a thousand on you," Red spat. "For what? A broken leg half way through?" "Only one more club, my misses-" he stopped abruptly. "Alright, two more clubs!" "Come on Adolf, kiss the pill!" Orange smirked. "Kiss it!" After a while, Blue myself fell asleep and began muttering to himself. Loch Ness Cosmonauts"Okay, Blue to the boutique with you!" Orange said, moving him out the way with his sword. "The rest of us, we're looting!" "YEAH!" Red and Green shouted, raising their swords in the air. "Fine, fine." Blue muttered as he walked to town, unarmed. Blue knocked on the door. "Come in, darling." A posh voice sounded from inside. Easier done then said, let's see how this carries on. He thought to himself as he opened the door. "Hello." He said waving, trying to get the pony's attention. "Oh, hello dar- ARGH!" The white unicorn screamed, dropping her materials and needles. "Wow," he said, raising his hands. "No problems here, no problems here; we cool?" "Do you mean; we are on an agreement of staying calm around each other?" The unicorn said, picking up the various materials and needles. "You could say it like that, yes." Blue said, lowering his hands. "So; what are you anyway?" She spoke again, sounding slightly worried; placing the materials down on a table. "..." He held his chin, then shrugged. "You have no idea what you are?" "I do, but I'm thinking of a way of explaining it without sounding crazy." "Darling," the unicorn said, coming closer. "There is a lot of crazy things here." "Okay, well," he said, backing off a bit. "I'm...I'm..." "What? A timber-wolf in a different form? A genie?" She questioned, moving closer. "A human who got here through a portal because it was there?" How do these things know what a human is? I haven't seen one! "What's a human?" He questioned nervously, backing off again. "A ape-like creature with no hair and for some reason, always wears clothes." The unicorn said, almost dancing around the boutique; grabbing different materials. "They usually come here because of wishes and such." What are we then? Say something you fool! A timber-thing maybe? no, no. Rug rat? No. An Horizon? No, no. Risers? Sounds pretty cool, go with it, hold on; no, too cool. Crasher? No. Castle Crasher? We've ran out of options, fine fine. "Well, I'm a Castle Crasher." "A Castle Crasher?" She questioned, stopped spinning around. "What's that?" "A bit like a human except we have magic." "Like levitation?" "More like fire, ice, poison, electricity." "Electricity?" "Like lightening." "Oh, okay; so...wait, fire?" "Yes, fire... why?" The unicorn lunged at Blue, pinning him and aiming her at him. "You set the hay bale on fire?" Her horn was lighting up. "No, no, no, no, no!" He said, shaking his hands. "Then what did?!" She still wouldn't get off. Damn, she's heavy! "I don't know!" He shouted, trying to wriggle out from under her hooves. "You do! Tell me!" "I," he reached into his suit and grabbed a handle of something. "Do," he pulled it to slightly loosen it. "Not," he unsheathed it quietly. "KNOW!" He screamed, pulling out a ice club and whacking the mare across the face. "ARGH!" The pony screamed as it was thrown across the room. Blue got up and let the ice club melt away in his hands. "Now, I would like to buy a few suits." He said, standing tall. That sounded awesome! Orange, Red and Green darted across the roofs of the houses. Orange dragged his sword behind him, leaving a faint line as he ran on. As Red and Green dived into the different houses, Orange kept going until he found one where a window was open. Using the gutter as a trapeze, he swung through the window; using his sword, he dug it through the wall and causing himself to stop suddenly. Picking himself up, he saw he was in a nursery with two little kids staring at him, frozen with toys in their hands. "Hi kids," he chuckling menacingly. "Watch this," he engulfed himself in flames and walked out of the nursery door. He heard the kids crying inside the room and he smiled, shutting off the flames, looking for any room. He laid his eyes on a master bed room. Jackpot! As he walked in, no one or no thing was in there. Leaving your kids unattended? With an insane Russian around? Very idiotic of you. There was a king sized double bed, fitted with drawers. A set of drawers at the far side of the room, two windows by the sides of the bed, a wardrobe and a dresser. "Okay," he muttered to himself. "Money, money, money; where art thou money?" After raiding the wardrobe, the dresser and the bed, he found: a bottle of cider, a ton of make-up, about a sixty pieces of gold pieces and plenty of clothes... fit for horses. The only thing left was the drawers; throwing them open, he found a hat and a wallet. Inside the wallet was about fifty more of those gold pieces and some receipts. "Okay, this is good." Red was the first to dive into a house, he had jumped down from the roof and kicked in the door. Three ponies screamed as he did: a mare and two stallions. "Please, stay calm," he spoke in a calm voice. "I don't want to ruin what your magic doctors has done to your looks." He said, walking around. "What are you?" The mare squeaked at him. "I am the devil himself." He cackled. "Now, can I please have your currency?" "What makes you the devil?!" One of the stallions raised to his hooves, he had a white coat, black hair and had a very large wing span. "What makes you a pony?" He snapped back. "That I am one." The pony growled, stepping forward. "Same with me." Red said, taking a step back. "You are saying you are the devil just because you are him?" Stepping forward again. "Well, you used the same excuse when I asked you." He grinned, stepping back again. "But you can see I am a pony, what makes you the devil?" He muttered loudly, walking towards Red. "THIS!" He shouted, bending down on one knee and firing a bolt of lightening at him, frying the stallion. "ARGH!" The other screamed. "Now, money please." Green smashed through a window, glass spraying everywhere. Bad thing was, he kicked himself right into a child's birthday party. "Uhhh..." Green muttered. "Hi?" "ARGH!" They screeched in response. One out of the group shouted. "Some-pony help us!" "Incoming!" A scream came from behind the window. "Huh?" Green turned around just in time to see a pony looking like a neon light crashing into him. He fell to the ground, being thrown across the wooden floor; he got up dazed and ran back to the pony that struck him. Green delivered an uppercut, diving the pony into the air but before she could hit the roof, she turned; kicking him in the face. He got knocked back but managed to keep his balance. Green ran forward again and jumped into a kick but the pony used her wings like a shield and he smacked into it. As he front flipped to keep on balance the mare unfolded her blue wings. "Okay, pony; let's dance." Green said, spitting onto the floor. "Name's Rainbow." She said, copying Green, she spat on the floor. The Pegasus flew straight at him and held out her hooves in the blink of a hawk's eye, Green couldn't react. He got smashed in the chest. "You are very weak, monster." 'Rainbow' said. "Funnily, you can't make a weapon out of your words, lesbo." He grinned and threw himself forward. He swung his entire arm to the pony's face but she ducked, he tried to punch her face but she moved back at incredible speeds. He moved forward again, forming a few knifes out of green mist. He lunged forward again, he faked a punch and as she moved back; he threw one of the knifes, changing her in the chest. He walked over to her body. "Too slow." He muttered. "Funnily," she imitated Green's voice. "you can't make a weapon out of your words, lesbo." Green just chuckled. "Open wide!" He said, throwing a knife near her head, missing. "You missed!" 'Rainbow' laughed. "I know." He twisted his wrist and the knife sticking out of the floor burst into green smoke. "Adios!" He said, diving out the broken window. "Uh-oh!" Blue shouted out loud, he ran from the boutique. Through the open door, various needles, pins and metal pieces were being thrown at him. "How much did we all get?" Orange said, standing proud. "Uh, I couldn't order the suits." Run, Knights, Run!"Wait, you didn't order the suits?" Green stepped forward, pushing Orange out the way. "I couldn't." Blue said, sinking into his place on the log. "How couldn't you?" Orange said, steeping forward, pushing Green back. "I might of angered the designer." Blue said. "So, how did the raids go?" "I might of almost burnt down a nursery and some children's innocence." "I gave some dude the electric chair." "I fought a rainbow colored mare at a kid's party who I poisoned." After Green finished, every person turned around to look at him. "What? Orange almost burnt down a nursery and got some kids to piss their pants!" "Yeah," Red said. "But that's Orange." "Yeah." Blue replied. "Yeah." Orange said grumpily, putting his hands on his hips. "Red, you killed someone!" Green protested, raising his hand towards the person in question. "I didn't know if I did." "You said you gave him 'the electric chair'!" "The electric chair doesn't always kill people." "Hold on!" Orange shouted. "What the hell is that?" As red and Green shut up, the sound of angry mutters and footsteps sounded from a pathway. "Guys...who led them back here?" After Blue said that, a boom sounded in the sky. "I think I know." Green said, standing up; he readied his sword and formed his knifes. "What are you doing?" Red said, turning to Green. "I'm just saying this once; pony up boys!" From all the confused looks he got, he added. "It means 'ready up'" "Oh." They all said in unison. "Okay, I got this." Red said, picking up his sword and molded a machete made of lightening in his hands. "We got this!" Orange shouted, grabbing his sword and crafted a throwing star. "Fine, we got this." Blue replied, throwing his sword into his hands. He formed another sword into his other hand, except this one was more thin and had brown leather around the handle. The foot steps go louder and louder, the mutters angrier and angrier. "You think they got pitchforks and torches?" Orange chuckled. "You seriously had to make a Frankenstein joke? Blue said, letting the blades of his swords touch the floor. "Yes. Why did you have to screw up with the suits?" Orange argued, crossing his arms with the red star near his heart. "Why did you have to scare those kids to death?" Blue pointed at him with the thin sword. "Why did you have to anger the designer?" "Why did you have to almost burn do a nursery?" "Why did you-" "LADIES!" Green screamed, letting his sword's tip touch the floor. "Can we please fight these ponies, then argue?" "Fine." They both muttered. They adopted their fighting stances again. The murmurs got more violent and the footsteps got more louder. "CHARGE!" They all ran forwards before being frozen in place. "What the hell?!" Orange shouted, he rubbed at his suit, trying to get the purple stuff off. "What in the hell?!" Red screamed, trying to stab his way out of the purple stuff but nothing happened. "Seriously, what in the-" Blue was cut off by his vocal cords and lungs were stuck into place, as they turned grey. And there stood the statue of the knights, ready for a battle that never comes.
Crazy or Saint"Check." Green said, moving his bishop near Red's king. "No." He moved the king up higher on the board. "Sorry, checkmate." Green tapped two pawns in the way of the king. "No it is not." He pulled back. "Checkmate." He tapped the rook. "Rook, remember?" "Fine, you win...again." Red sulked, flicking his knight at Green. Both where knights, though most people called them "Castle Crashers" the helmets were odd, a rectangle with a triangle stuck on the bottom. God knows what their heads look like; his shield lay on the graveyard ground, green, the cross on his chest glowed slightly, green. Red was the same, except the cross and shield were red; simple really. Both of them sat on chairs made out of toppled tombstones, they played on a table made out of stacked gravestones, the board was a tombstone which had been the squares had been engraved by themselves, the pieces were the bones of the skeletons they had just fought. "Where is this guy anyway?" Red turned his head around and shouted to Orange. Orange span around, lighting a cigar with his flames. "The boss?" He coughed. "No idea but one thing; what is he?" "I don't really know." He turned back to Green. "Who is the boss?" He whispered over to him. "Your guess is as good as mine, hold on," he pulled a book from his back of his shield, which read 'instruction manual'. "Castle, Ship, Desert," he muttered as he flicked through the pages. "Here we are! Graveyard!" He said, proudly. "Who's the boss then?" Orange shouted gruffly. "It says... living tombstone?" Green stared dumbfounded at the page. "The living tombstone?" Orange and Red said in unison. "Yo, Blue!" Red shouted at the knight, shooting ice at a headstone. "The living tombstone?" Blue just shrugged and went back to looting. "Is there an image?" Red questioned. "Yeah, it's not a tombstone though." Orange said. "It's something in stone but not a gravestone." "What is it?" Orange and red said, with Orange spluttering. "It's a...pony." "A pony?" "Yeah, it's got head phones, blue hair with red tips and it's got a tattoo that's a tombstone with headphones and arms." "It's a statue, is it?" Orange tried to shift the subject. "I don't know, it's body is grey, so maybe that's stone." "Why are we fighting a pony?" Red's eye flawed slightly with electricity."We fought aliens, gigantic barbarians and corn that was alive! Why of all things, a pony?" "God's plan?" Orange questioned, throwing down his cigar and shrugging. "God? I believe in science." He snapped back. "But we have magic." Blue had came over without them noticing. "So? I still believe in science." "Even though we've seen corn that was alive?" "Yes!" "Guys!" Orange shouted. "Do you hear that?" The faint sound of metal sounding footsteps. "Horse shoes!" He grinned. "Ready up!" Red shouted, as all the knights held up their shields and readied their swords, aiming for the tomb that couldn't be blasted open. The steps got louder. "Who's using magic?" Blue said, letting his defense drop for a second. The steps got louder. "Well, Green's got poison, Blue, you got ice. I've got electricity. Orange has fire... All of us?" Red said, holding his chin with his shield. The steps got louder. "Everyone!" Orange shouted. "Just use swords, if you want to use magic fair enough!" The steps got louder. "Fine, fine-" The stone doors burst open, to reveal the stallion. "I'm howling at the moon." The living Tombstone muttered. "Uh?" Blue said. "Did it just speak?" "Maybe but who's cares?" As he looked around, they shook their heads. "Good, kill it!" They charged forward, straight at the stallion. It just smirked, as Orange swung at it; it jumped out of sight and landed back behind them. They span around and charged again; it jumped again. This time only two charged, the stallion jumped into the middle. "Magic!" Blue shouted. All of their eyes started to burn and smoke. "Fire!" Red shouted. The stallion was electrified by Red, showing it's skeleton. Orange fired after Red couldn't go further, it's hair burnt to a crisp and it's skin got two tones dark. Blue fired, freezing it's hooves, making it's flesh be tinted with a bit of blue. Green fired, it was poisoned, it swayed back and forth. "Charge!" Green screamed, as it continued to sway. They all struck it with the swords, it flashed red with every hit. It kept swaying as the knights drew back, it stopped. It paused, standing there, not moving. "Charge?" Orange muttered, they nodded. Charging again, Living Tombstone smiled. He pulled a small speaker with a crank on the side basically out of nowhere and started to wind it up. The knights stopped, mid run. "Back off slowly." He muttered, holding his sword in front of Red and his shield in front of green. As the speaker stopped making it's music box like noises, the knights crept forward every so slightly. The stallion pressed down a button, music started to blurt out the little box, it was so loud, they could physically see it, it looked like a blue wave. Their eyes were shaking. "Shields!" Blue tried to shout but as he moved his shield up, he was thrown back. After a while, the music stopped but the blue wave has still there and it was dragging in the knights. "No! No! No!" Orange shouted over and over, he grasped onto a tree's root. "Damn! Damn! Damn! Red said over and over, he grasped onto Orange's foot. "Seriously?" Blue said, being dragged to the wave. "Fine, this is ridiculous!" he said, he grasped onto Red's foot. "Damn you magic music!" Green shouted, he grasped onto Blue's foot. "Did you just call that thing 'Magic Music'?" Orange shouted from the root. "No, I said 'damn you magic music' and I meant that thing." He nodded to the blue wave. "Still, I'm not calling it Living Tombstone, his name is Magic Music now." "Fine, fine; hold on, Orange. Are you holding onto a tree root?" "Yeah, so?" "Look up." As Orange did, the tree which the root belonged to has coming up. "I think we may be screwed." Orange said. "Maybe, may-" The tree ripped from the ground and was pulled into the wave. "ARGH!" They all screamed at once, being pulled into the wave with it. "Damn, my head." Orange muttered, his eyes were still closed but he got up and held his head. "It ain't a hangover, I can tell you that." He heard Red's voice. Opening his eyes, he saw him offering his hand. Accepting it, he got up. Looking around, he saw green hills and a small town. "Okay; where are we?" He said, snapping his back with his hands. "No idea; sent Blue on a scouting mission. See if he could find anything." "You sent Blue?" "With Green, we should be okay." "Thank god!" "You said it." "Indeed I did. How long have we been here?" "Blue was the first to wake up, he send he had to wait an hour for Green to wake up, then two for me and I've had to wait thirty minutes for you." "Hold on," he tapped at his fingers. "So, minimum we've been here is three hours and thirty minutes?" "Right, though it could of been a lot longer." "I would say maybe eight hours and thirty at max." "Most likely." "Hey!" Orange said, seeing a log and running to it. "We make camp here?" "Good idea." Red ran to him, they both rolled the log to the center of the hill. "I'll get fire wood, you stay here." Orange said, pointing his finger down at the log. "Fine, fine; fire-y." "Oh," he turned from the wood line. "You call me fire-y again, your butt gets burnt." "Fine, fine. Firewood." "I'll give you that one, sparky." He said before walking into the forest. "Okay, firewood, firewood." He muttered to himself, cutting away a few wet branches to make a clear path. "Where art though be you firewood?" He chuckled. He walked further in, where the rain hadn't really touched the branches. "Here we are." He muttered seeing a pile of branches, as he reached for them, they hovered in the air. "Huh? I'm not tripping am I?" He looked at his hands. "My hands aren't rainbow colored, I'm fine." As different branches came from the many trees, they started to form a wolf. When the figure was completed, it roared at the knight. "Seriously? A wolf made of timber? A timber-wolf?" He muttered, slowly walking to the thing, dragging the sword. "Fine!" The wooden wolf tilted it's head, obviously confused by the knight not really caring. "I've got one, the timber-wolf of London!" Orange chortled. The wolf roared again, hoping for a reaction. "You aren't scaring me." He was close enough to smell the wolf's breath through the helmet, it was bad, really bad. "Brush your damn teeth man! Your breath smells like a dog's curled up business!" The wolf whimpered but roared again. "Oh shut up!" Orange roared back, as he made his way forward and was close enough; he slashed at the wolf's neck, it's head rolled across the floor. "Hello, firewood." He grabbed the large head and carried it back. When he got back, he saw Red trying to calm down Blue and Green just sitting down. He threw the head in front of Green and went over to Blue. "Hey! What's the matter!?" He said, making his eyes flare with fire, hoping that will make him stop his mumbling. "Orange! Ponies! Ponies in the town!" "Hold on, like Living Tombstone?" Orange questioned. "Uh-huh." Blue nodded nervously. "They got food?" He smirked, a bit of fire coming from his helmet. "Food?" He stammered, blinking wildly. "Yes, have they got it?" Fire started coming from his eye slits. "Yeah-h-h, they got stands and stalls." He stuttered. "Well, boys!" He shouted around him, drawing the others attention. "We are going to get some grub." The fire changed from orange to a black smoke. They crept to the town, with Orange's eyes still smoking. They dragged their swords down the hill and placed their backs against the walls. Looking around the corner, Orange's eye shot into fire again. "Yes!" He's fire changed from orange to blue, seeing a stall stocked with apples. But the stall was with a orange mare with a yellow pony tail and a stetson, stood next to her was a little filly with red hair. "I'm going burn them!" Orange said, with his fist becoming engulfed in orange flames. "NO!" Blue shouted, encasing his fist with ice. A few of the ponies turned to the noise but carried on. "Why not?" He snapped back. "We do not need to kill them!" "Fine, what do we do?" "We stealth it." "Stealth it?" "Yeah, stealth it. Sneaking around.... a bit like a snake." "Yeah but none of us have invisibility, we are more destructive than anything." Orange said, melting the ice off his fist. "Well, use that to an advantage." "How?" "Well, you see that?" Blue pushed around Orange and pointed to a hay bale. "Shoot it with fire." "Fine." His fist got engulfed in the orange flame, he crept his fist around the house, leaving a slight burn mark. "Shoot it now!" Blue muttered to him. Orange shot the hay bale, causing the ponies to either back off or stare at it. The orange one caught one sight of it and bolted for the fire, taking a bucket for her, dragging the bucket through a trough. With the little filly looking terrorifyed, the knights walked through the town; keeping out of the eye of the stallions and mares that ran past them. When they reached the stall, Blue and Green put their shield so the straps were facing the sky, as the others passed apples in the shields. As they finished and the other three went away, carrying the shields and orange was there grabbing a few for himself. She heard a whimper, as he looked over the stall, he saw the yellow filly cowering behind it. Orange looked at the fire, still burning with the mare fighting it. He looked at the filly, her face looked like she was staring death in his. He stretched forward, placed his finger on his lips and made a metallic shushing sound. "I am your nightmares, I am Death, I am the killer, I am the devil himself." His eyes blazed with a fire so strong, it reached over the top of the helmet and licked at the stall's top. "Remember that." He walked off with the fire still blazing. When he felt he was out of vision, he stopped the fire and started to laugh to himself as he went back to the camp. With ever small chuckle, fire seemed to start in his helmet then just die.
Poor Unfortunate TunesThe four knights sat down around the camp fire, the timber head slowly burning. Each eating apples, after a while they ate most of the apples and they left the others for rations. "Why not a song?" Orange suggested, throwing an apple core onto the fire. "Fine, fine." The other three chanted back, doing the same. "In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning!" Orange sang in a low but loud opera voice. "And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be!" He stood up, raising his hands. "It scared me out of my wits!" He chimed, with his hands flaming. "A corpse falling to bits!" He chirped, raising his hands higher. "Then I opened my eyes," he lent towards his three other knights. "And the nightmare was...me!" He sang with a burning grin. "I was once the most mystical man in all Russia!" He hummed with real hatred in his voice. "When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake!" The hatred whirred louder. "My curse made each of them pay!" The fire in his eyes grew to blue. "But a little bug got away!" "Little Anya, beware, Orange's awake!" The rest hummed nervously. "In the dark of the night evil will find her! In the dark of the night just before dawn! Aah..." "Revenge will be sweet!" Orange sang louder. "When the curse is complete!" They all sang, with the others still nervously singing along. "In the dark of the night!" They sang again. "She'll be gone!" Orange grinned evilly. "I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!" His flames grew more. "Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!" Making the flames of the fire spin around his neck. "As the Pieces fall into place!" Throwing down circles of fire onto the ground. "I'll see her crawl into place!" Making his fingers tip toe. "Do run, Anya, Your Grace!" "As I say farewell..." "In the dark of the night terror will strike her!" Blue and Green sang as Red hummed. "Terror's the least I can do!" Orange danced around the fire. "In the dark of the night evil will brew. Ooh!" The others sang. "Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real." "In the dark of the night." "She'll be through!" "In the dark of the night," The others sang. "Evil will find her," they hummed. "Find her!" Blue hummed and the others sang. "Ooh!" They all made the low sound. "In the dark of the night terror comes true." "Doom her!" "My dear, here's a sign-" "It's the end of the line!" The knights sang together, with Orange picking up the evilness of the song. "In the dark of the night..." They all sang. "In the dark of the night..." "In the dark of the night..." "Come my minions," pointing at the other knights. "Rise for your master," making them rise from their seats. "Let your evil shine!" As instructed, their eyes started to glow as of their name's sake. "Find her now," he picked up his sword and pointed towards town. "Yes, fly ever faster!" He said, spinning around and pointing the sword at them. "In the dark of the night..." The others sang nervously. "In the dark of the night..." Their sweat ran down the helmets. "In the dark of the night.." They trembled as a naked man would in winter. "She'll be mine!" He said, turning back to the town, dropping the sword and raising the fire from his hands. He then span back. "Another?" "Okay," Blue said, shaking. "But not an evil one." Orange shot a fireball at him, knocking him down. The other's grasped. "Don't worry gentlemen, it's a flare. Nothing special, just a little parlor trick from Russia." Orange hummed, as he, almost, danced to Blue; offering him a hand. "Okay, fine; another song!" Blue said bitterly, taking the hand and rising back up. "Okay; let's start this again." Orange grinned. "Shiver My Timbers, shiver My Soul! Yo Ho He Ho" "There are men who's hearts as black as coal!" Blue sang, still bitter. "And they sailed there ship across the ocean blue!" Red picked up on Orange's opera voice from the first song. "A Blood thirsty captain and a cut throat crew!" Green sang, deep and low. "Its a darker tale as was ever told!" Orange chirped. "Of a lust for treasure and a love of gold..." Red hummed. "Shiver My Timbers, Shiver my sides!" Green chanted. "Yo ho he ho!" Blue sang bitterly. "Out on the endless ocean!" Orange hummed. "We tear along the gales!" Green chanted. "With rum inside our bellies warm!" Blue sang, slightly merrier. "And freedom in our sails!" Orange sang. He walked towards his fellow knights. "A wayward bunch of scoundrels," he nudged Blue. "Assassins," nudging Green. "thieves," tapping himself. "and slaves!" Poking Red. He danced back to where he had stood. "The rich and blue bloods fear us when!" Blue sang, almost sounded like he was laughing. "We hunt upon the waves!" Green chirped. "And when you see it-" Orange was cut off by an ball of ice smashing him in the head. "No need to worry gentlemen, it's just being knocked out cold just a little parlor trick from Scotland." He moved his shield to make a sort of bed. "Good night."
A Russian and a Scotsman A Russian and a Scotsman "What do we do today?" Blue asked, waking up two of the knights from their half dead daze as Orange just rolled over and grumbled. "I don't know, man. Sleep?" Green had just woken up and had the iconic 'I've-just-woken-up-screw-every-living-thing' voice but with a bit of hope when he mentioned slumber. "Nah; we got to do something, we only got a quarter of our apples." He said, pointing to a pile of five apples. "Hello there Princess." Orange mumbled in his sleep. "Come here. No it isn't a sword, I'm just happy to see you." "Okay, odd; but still, sleep sounds good." Again, Red had just woken up and had the iconic 'I've-just-woken-up-screw-every-living-thing' voice but got a bit giddy when he mentioned sleep. "It's like eleven, wake up!" Though he protest, they just went back to lying down and happily snoring. "Just kidding about the happy thing," he chuckled in his sleep. "It is a sword!" "Why am I the only sane person here?" Blue muttered to himself. "Because you're Scottish!" Green shouted, trying to get to sleep. "How does that make sense?" "We'll, you got a Russian," pointing at the grinning Orange. "You got me being from London," Green tapped himself. "And you got him," pointing at Red. "Where is he from anyway?" "Australia!" Red muttered. "There you go." "How did that help?" "Well, a Scottish person can be the only sane person in a gang of a Londoner, a Russian and an Australian." He said, with a spite of sarcasm. "That's true." Orange said, lying back himself, putting his hand behind is head. "That'll teach you princess! No one screws with Orange!" He muttered, rolling over again. "Wake him up?" Blue asked, looking in Red and Green's direction. "Pedal to the metal version of 'hell yeah'" Red and Green shared a high five. "Okay, how that we are all awake." Orange stood with his left foot on a rock and his head getting wishes of an arrow through it from the others. "What are we going to do today?" "Get some new clothes?" Red said, pulling at the shirt of his suit. It was dirt and ragged. "I don't know about you guys but I would kill for a tuxedo or something instead of this rag." Flicking at the shirt. "I must agree with Red, a new set of clothes would be nice." Green said, doing the same pulling and flicking Red did. "Seriously, it would be delightful." "I saw a boutique in town when I searched." Blue said, already feeling it was a bad idea to wake up himself and everybody else. "Guys, guys, guys! This is a boutique for the ponies in that town! I don't think a human could ask-" "Sir." Blue raised his hand. "Yes, Blue?" "When I searched, she was serving a praying mantis." "A praying mantis?" Orange said, scratching his head. "Yeah, kitted out with top hat, tuxedo and that little ruffle thing on the front." He made a gesture, trying to make the 'ruffle thing on the front' but it made him like a squid. "Okay fine, we all about the same size, right?" He made a quick comparison. "Yeah about. Though Blue is a bit wider than a few of us, we send him to the boutique." "But Orange, we have no money." Red said. "That is where we come in, we will steal the money until the day of the suits being finished." "Uh?" The knights all made the noise. "Ask that you will pay when they are made not upfront. Then we have time to get the money." "You sure this will work?" Green titled his head, trying to figure out if Orange is a genius or just crazy. "She served a praying mantis, she can serve him." Pointing at Blue. "Okay, okay; how do we get the money?" Red said, raising his finger after the sentence. "We'll, a suit is about five hundred quid right?" Green questioned, smirking as he did. "Yeah, about." Orange responded with a questioning tone. "Well, we are going to need two thousand quid or whatever is used here. So we better get started soon." "We'll do it tomorrow, Blue," he pointed directly at him. "You go to the boutique, order four suits. Tuxedos maybe or whatever." He waved Blue away. "And we, get two thousand pieces, aye?" "Aye!" Green responded. "What does 'aye' mean?" Red questioned, resting his head on his shoulders. "It means yes." Green snapped back. "Oh okay, aye then!" Blue was the last one asleep, the only thing to keep him company was his other knights mumbling and snoring in their sleep. "Come here Stalin!" Orange mumbled. "I'll slap you like I did Rasputin!" "God damn it, boy!" Red grumbled. "We don't want to put you down!" "One more beer!" Green hiccuped in his sleep. "Correction; two more beers!" "Try as you might Abe!" Orange muttered happily. "I got your hat!" "I betted a thousand on you," Red spat. "For what? A broken leg half way through?" "Only one more club, my misses-" he stopped abruptly. "Alright, two more clubs!" "Come on Adolf, kiss the pill!" Orange smirked. "Kiss it!" After a while, Blue myself fell asleep and began muttering to himself.
Loch Ness Cosmonauts"Okay, Blue to the boutique with you!" Orange said, moving him out the way with his sword. "The rest of us, we're looting!" "YEAH!" Red and Green shouted, raising their swords in the air. "Fine, fine." Blue muttered as he walked to town, unarmed. Blue knocked on the door. "Come in, darling." A posh voice sounded from inside. Easier done then said, let's see how this carries on. He thought to himself as he opened the door. "Hello." He said waving, trying to get the pony's attention. "Oh, hello dar- ARGH!" The white unicorn screamed, dropping her materials and needles. "Wow," he said, raising his hands. "No problems here, no problems here; we cool?" "Do you mean; we are on an agreement of staying calm around each other?" The unicorn said, picking up the various materials and needles. "You could say it like that, yes." Blue said, lowering his hands. "So; what are you anyway?" She spoke again, sounding slightly worried; placing the materials down on a table. "..." He held his chin, then shrugged. "You have no idea what you are?" "I do, but I'm thinking of a way of explaining it without sounding crazy." "Darling," the unicorn said, coming closer. "There is a lot of crazy things here." "Okay, well," he said, backing off a bit. "I'm...I'm..." "What? A timber-wolf in a different form? A genie?" She questioned, moving closer. "A human who got here through a portal because it was there?" How do these things know what a human is? I haven't seen one! "What's a human?" He questioned nervously, backing off again. "A ape-like creature with no hair and for some reason, always wears clothes." The unicorn said, almost dancing around the boutique; grabbing different materials. "They usually come here because of wishes and such." What are we then? Say something you fool! A timber-thing maybe? no, no. Rug rat? No. An Horizon? No, no. Risers? Sounds pretty cool, go with it, hold on; no, too cool. Crasher? No. Castle Crasher? We've ran out of options, fine fine. "Well, I'm a Castle Crasher." "A Castle Crasher?" She questioned, stopped spinning around. "What's that?" "A bit like a human except we have magic." "Like levitation?" "More like fire, ice, poison, electricity." "Electricity?" "Like lightening." "Oh, okay; so...wait, fire?" "Yes, fire... why?" The unicorn lunged at Blue, pinning him and aiming her at him. "You set the hay bale on fire?" Her horn was lighting up. "No, no, no, no, no!" He said, shaking his hands. "Then what did?!" She still wouldn't get off. Damn, she's heavy! "I don't know!" He shouted, trying to wriggle out from under her hooves. "You do! Tell me!" "I," he reached into his suit and grabbed a handle of something. "Do," he pulled it to slightly loosen it. "Not," he unsheathed it quietly. "KNOW!" He screamed, pulling out a ice club and whacking the mare across the face. "ARGH!" The pony screamed as it was thrown across the room. Blue got up and let the ice club melt away in his hands. "Now, I would like to buy a few suits." He said, standing tall. That sounded awesome! Orange, Red and Green darted across the roofs of the houses. Orange dragged his sword behind him, leaving a faint line as he ran on. As Red and Green dived into the different houses, Orange kept going until he found one where a window was open. Using the gutter as a trapeze, he swung through the window; using his sword, he dug it through the wall and causing himself to stop suddenly. Picking himself up, he saw he was in a nursery with two little kids staring at him, frozen with toys in their hands. "Hi kids," he chuckling menacingly. "Watch this," he engulfed himself in flames and walked out of the nursery door. He heard the kids crying inside the room and he smiled, shutting off the flames, looking for any room. He laid his eyes on a master bed room. Jackpot! As he walked in, no one or no thing was in there. Leaving your kids unattended? With an insane Russian around? Very idiotic of you. There was a king sized double bed, fitted with drawers. A set of drawers at the far side of the room, two windows by the sides of the bed, a wardrobe and a dresser. "Okay," he muttered to himself. "Money, money, money; where art thou money?" After raiding the wardrobe, the dresser and the bed, he found: a bottle of cider, a ton of make-up, about a sixty pieces of gold pieces and plenty of clothes... fit for horses. The only thing left was the drawers; throwing them open, he found a hat and a wallet. Inside the wallet was about fifty more of those gold pieces and some receipts. "Okay, this is good." Red was the first to dive into a house, he had jumped down from the roof and kicked in the door. Three ponies screamed as he did: a mare and two stallions. "Please, stay calm," he spoke in a calm voice. "I don't want to ruin what your magic doctors has done to your looks." He said, walking around. "What are you?" The mare squeaked at him. "I am the devil himself." He cackled. "Now, can I please have your currency?" "What makes you the devil?!" One of the stallions raised to his hooves, he had a white coat, black hair and had a very large wing span. "What makes you a pony?" He snapped back. "That I am one." The pony growled, stepping forward. "Same with me." Red said, taking a step back. "You are saying you are the devil just because you are him?" Stepping forward again. "Well, you used the same excuse when I asked you." He grinned, stepping back again. "But you can see I am a pony, what makes you the devil?" He muttered loudly, walking towards Red. "THIS!" He shouted, bending down on one knee and firing a bolt of lightening at him, frying the stallion. "ARGH!" The other screamed. "Now, money please." Green smashed through a window, glass spraying everywhere. Bad thing was, he kicked himself right into a child's birthday party. "Uhhh..." Green muttered. "Hi?" "ARGH!" They screeched in response. One out of the group shouted. "Some-pony help us!" "Incoming!" A scream came from behind the window. "Huh?" Green turned around just in time to see a pony looking like a neon light crashing into him. He fell to the ground, being thrown across the wooden floor; he got up dazed and ran back to the pony that struck him. Green delivered an uppercut, diving the pony into the air but before she could hit the roof, she turned; kicking him in the face. He got knocked back but managed to keep his balance. Green ran forward again and jumped into a kick but the pony used her wings like a shield and he smacked into it. As he front flipped to keep on balance the mare unfolded her blue wings. "Okay, pony; let's dance." Green said, spitting onto the floor. "Name's Rainbow." She said, copying Green, she spat on the floor. The Pegasus flew straight at him and held out her hooves in the blink of a hawk's eye, Green couldn't react. He got smashed in the chest. "You are very weak, monster." 'Rainbow' said. "Funnily, you can't make a weapon out of your words, lesbo." He grinned and threw himself forward. He swung his entire arm to the pony's face but she ducked, he tried to punch her face but she moved back at incredible speeds. He moved forward again, forming a few knifes out of green mist. He lunged forward again, he faked a punch and as she moved back; he threw one of the knifes, changing her in the chest. He walked over to her body. "Too slow." He muttered. "Funnily," she imitated Green's voice. "you can't make a weapon out of your words, lesbo." Green just chuckled. "Open wide!" He said, throwing a knife near her head, missing. "You missed!" 'Rainbow' laughed. "I know." He twisted his wrist and the knife sticking out of the floor burst into green smoke. "Adios!" He said, diving out the broken window. "Uh-oh!" Blue shouted out loud, he ran from the boutique. Through the open door, various needles, pins and metal pieces were being thrown at him. "How much did we all get?" Orange said, standing proud. "Uh, I couldn't order the suits."
Run, Knights, Run!"Wait, you didn't order the suits?" Green stepped forward, pushing Orange out the way. "I couldn't." Blue said, sinking into his place on the log. "How couldn't you?" Orange said, steeping forward, pushing Green back. "I might of angered the designer." Blue said. "So, how did the raids go?" "I might of almost burnt down a nursery and some children's innocence." "I gave some dude the electric chair." "I fought a rainbow colored mare at a kid's party who I poisoned." After Green finished, every person turned around to look at him. "What? Orange almost burnt down a nursery and got some kids to piss their pants!" "Yeah," Red said. "But that's Orange." "Yeah." Blue replied. "Yeah." Orange said grumpily, putting his hands on his hips. "Red, you killed someone!" Green protested, raising his hand towards the person in question. "I didn't know if I did." "You said you gave him 'the electric chair'!" "The electric chair doesn't always kill people." "Hold on!" Orange shouted. "What the hell is that?" As red and Green shut up, the sound of angry mutters and footsteps sounded from a pathway. "Guys...who led them back here?" After Blue said that, a boom sounded in the sky. "I think I know." Green said, standing up; he readied his sword and formed his knifes. "What are you doing?" Red said, turning to Green. "I'm just saying this once; pony up boys!" From all the confused looks he got, he added. "It means 'ready up'" "Oh." They all said in unison. "Okay, I got this." Red said, picking up his sword and molded a machete made of lightening in his hands. "We got this!" Orange shouted, grabbing his sword and crafted a throwing star. "Fine, we got this." Blue replied, throwing his sword into his hands. He formed another sword into his other hand, except this one was more thin and had brown leather around the handle. The foot steps go louder and louder, the mutters angrier and angrier. "You think they got pitchforks and torches?" Orange chuckled. "You seriously had to make a Frankenstein joke? Blue said, letting the blades of his swords touch the floor. "Yes. Why did you have to screw up with the suits?" Orange argued, crossing his arms with the red star near his heart. "Why did you have to scare those kids to death?" Blue pointed at him with the thin sword. "Why did you have to anger the designer?" "Why did you have to almost burn do a nursery?" "Why did you-" "LADIES!" Green screamed, letting his sword's tip touch the floor. "Can we please fight these ponies, then argue?" "Fine." They both muttered. They adopted their fighting stances again. The murmurs got more violent and the footsteps got more louder. "CHARGE!" They all ran forwards before being frozen in place. "What the hell?!" Orange shouted, he rubbed at his suit, trying to get the purple stuff off. "What in the hell?!" Red screamed, trying to stab his way out of the purple stuff but nothing happened. "Seriously, what in the-" Blue was cut off by his vocal cords and lungs were stuck into place, as they turned grey. And there stood the statue of the knights, ready for a battle that never comes.
