Stepping Stones

by yoshiXII

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Other, Romance, Tragedy
Length: 11015

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost. Remembering was always the hardest part for Applejack. With her parents dead, she struggles to continue with her life.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost

Remembering was always the hardest part for Applejack. With her parents dead because of Rarity, she struggles to continue with her life. But she keeps taking small steps with Rarity as her companion. Applejack learns that in the perpetual cycle of life you either move on or succumb.

Published 2013-08-04 02:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-28 23:39:18 UTC

At the Door

What we have done with ourselves alone dies with us;
What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.

-Albert Pike

“Help!”

Applejack glanced up. Rarity was hanging on the rope bridge that swung on its side above the deep valley below; her hooves grasped the rope tightly. The cacophony of the rain threatened to drown her voice as water plinked down the bridges’ wooden planks. Rarity’s hair was pressed against her forehead, slick with sweat. Lightning flashed across the dark skies as thunder followed suit.

“Hold on, Ah’ve got you!”

Tremlett, Applejack’s father, took off the harness to his cart and sprinted before coming to a halt before the bridge. His green mane blew in the wind underneath his hat, clashing against his sky blue skin adorned with a radiant zap-apple for a cutie mark. The bridge creaked under Rarity’s weight, dropping a few inches. Rarity shrieked while Tremlett examined the ropes. Since both the poles were missing on the left side, the bridge tilted at this precarious angle. The ropes near the center, where Rarity was, were frayed.

Applejack watched in horror as her father put a hoof on the right support rope. He gripped the rope with both of his forehooves before pulling himself up. He grunted as he worked his way toward Rarity until he left the ground. Hoof over hoof, he finally made it a few feet away from Rarity. They hovered there above the precarious drop below.

Honeycrisp, Applejack’s mother, galloped to the edge. Her cutie mark was a tree and she had a pink mane accompanying her magenta skin. “Sugarcube, are you all right?”

“Ah’m fine,” Tremett replied. “Don’t know ‘bout this here fellow, though.”

“I’m fine as well,” Rarity said with a gasp. “Just a bit scared.”

Tremlett extended a hoof. “Grab on!”

Rarity tried to grab hold of the hoof before slipping off. A moment passed as she cried out and fell before Tremlett grabbed her hoof. Struggling with exertion, he pulled Rarity back up to the bridge’s level. “Keep both hooves on the rope. Ah’ll try leading you back.”

After Rarity grabbed hold of the rope again, Tremlett wrapped a hoof around her waist behind her and alternated pulling himself with his hoof and using the wooden planks of the bridge as footholds. Slowly but surely they made their way back to Applejack and her mother.

“Now tell me,” Tremlett started, “why didja’ decide to go on a bridge on such a stormy day?”

Rarity gulped some air. “I had to. I needed the spark of inspiration. To thrust myself into nature seemed to be the only option. I needed to feel alive again. Then the poles fell and I hung onto the rope for a few minutes before you guys came. Why were you guys here without any umbrella?”

“We’re here cuz’ we need to deliver apples to our relatives in Dodge City like we do every year. Rain doesn’t scare me.”

“Then how come Applejack and Honeycrisp are with you if they don’t have their own carts?”

Tremett chuckled. “Ah wanted to make sure Applejack learned the family trade and Honey here decided to tag along. Plus, Ah wanted Applejack to finally gain her cutie mark.”

“Hurry up,” Applejack said, a note of anxiety creeping into her voice. She glanced at the cart and the road for a moment before turning back. “We haven’t got all day.”

“Now, now, Applejack we can’t rus-“

The center of the bridge snapped with a sickening crack. The two broken ends of the bridge went flying against side of the cliff. Splinters of wood broke off before departing to the valley below. Tremlett lost his grip and fell. Surprise flickered across his face as he extended his right hoof.

Honeycrisp darted her hooves out and grabbed onto the hoof. “Ah’ve got you!” she cried out.

Applejack rushed to her mother’s side. “Ma, you need any help?” she asked anxiously. She looked down to see Rarity clinging onto the rope against the broken bridge.

Honeycrisp grunted. “No, I’m fi-“

She slipped.

Everything happened in a blur for Applejack. First she noticed that her mother was standing on an especially slippery patch of grass. Then she noticed the close proximity to the edge. The cries of a warning died on her lips as Honeycrsip’s rear hooves gave way. Applejack bit at her mother’s tail only to miss. Tremlett and Honeycrisp fell down into the valley.

“No!” Applejack heard somepony shout, perhaps it was her. It happened so fast that she couldn’t register that it was real. Her head throbbed as she felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks with the rain. A confusing array of emotions enveloped her, making her nauseous. She rocked unsteadily on her hooves before looking down.

Her parents weren’t there. They weren’t there on an elaborately painted tarp laughing at her for falling for the prank. They weren’t visible and shaking off their legs after the fall. They weren’t clinging onto the bridge. There was only a shaken Rarity with tears streaking down her face.

“I’m s-so sorry, Applejack.”

But being sorry wouldn’t bring them back. It wouldn’t give them strength to climb back up and embrace Applejack again like they’ve done. It was only an empty word.

The rain fell as if to drown them.

Reminisce

No one wants to die.
Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there.
And yet death is the destination we all share.
No one has ever escaped it.
And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life.
It is Life's change agent.
It clears out the old to make way for the new.

-Steve Jobs

“I’m so, so sorry. Forgive me.”

Applejack ignored Rarity’s wails as she sat down on the edge like a child sits on a swing. She stared straight ahead, her body shaking with subsequent sobs. Her head rang while she noticed that her vision was blurry from tears and the throbbing pain. The world seemed a lot darker than before.

“I’m sorry, Applejack, but can you help me up first?”

Applejack stared at the white unicorn as if seeing her for the first time. She gazed appraisingly at Rarity before staring off in the distance yet again. “You want to know why Ah don’t tell lies Rarity?”

Rarity remained silent trying to judge Applejack’s expression. Looking down, she bit her lip.

“Ah used to be a liar,” Applejack continued, “Ah’d say that my room was clean jus’ to get to my friend’s house. They knew but they wouldn’t say a word. Since they never told me off, Ah was never ashamed. Ah always assumed that what Ah said were just harmless lies.

“Then Pa took me to a hill overlooking our fields. He brought with him a glass jar an’ a hose. He did the weirdest thing: he put a tree figurine inside the jar.

“’Now Applejack,’ he said, ‘imagine this is you.’ He held up the jar and Ah stared at the tree. ‘You’re a mighty tree jus’ waiting to bloom.’

“He put the hose up to the jar an’ squeezed a few drops. ‘Now these are your lies,’ he said. ‘Sometimes these lies can be helpful in a pinch. But even if they are helpful, they make you eager to continue.’

“Pa filled the jar ‘til it was full. He said, ‘Someday Applejack, your lies are gonna catch up to you. Ah know you are a good girl but these lies are gonna ruin you. Sooner or later, ponies are gonna have a hard time trustin’ you. Either get rid of the lies or they become your life. They ain’t harming anypony else, only you.’ He lifted the jar to show a drowned tree.

“He put a hoof on my shoulders. He whispered, ‘Don’t get me wrong, lies are amazin’. They can do much that the truth can’t do. But you have to realize those are the lies best kept to yourself. It ain’t good not to know the difference between an obvious lie an’ a cover-up. Lies can either be visions or monsters. It’s a double-edged sword an’ you’re gonna learn that it’s best not dealing with such things.’ With that he trotted back to the barn.

“At first, Ah thought Pa was off his rocker. What was he talkin’ ‘bout? My lies were harmless; they wouldn’t do any of that nonsense. But then it struck me. What if Ah was dishonorable because of the lies? What if Ah was only lying to myself in the process? What if my personality was different ‘cuz of that? Every time Ah thought ‘bout my lies, Ah found that it would’ve gone over much better if Ah had just told the truth. Instead, Ah was trapped in delusions.

“From that day on, Ah resolved to be honest for the rest of my life. Sure Ah must’ve seemed do-goody, but Ah couldn’t bear to be a liar. Ah knew Ah wasn’t. Ma an’ Pa were glad ‘bout that. Ah believe Ah was a better pony ‘cuz of that. Even if Ah didn’t know what was the truth or the lie, Ah tried my best.”

Applejack looked back at Rarity. “But what does it matter? They’re gone. Everything. My life might as well be over.” A fresh wave of tears blurred her vision.

Rarity glanced up. “I’m sorry, Applejack.”

Applejack remained silent. She stood up and turned around. Lowering her hind legs, she began using the bridge planks as a ladder. She climbed down the planks until she came to Rarity.

Reaching out with a hoof, Applejack asked, “Can you grab on?”

Rarity twisted around on the rope, trying to shift her weight to one side before crying out, “I can’t. It’s too slippery for me to hold on.”

“Well jus’ climb on the bridge.”

Rarity tested it with her hind hoof before it broke under her weight. She darted back onto the rope. Planks of wood kept breaking off until the next stable plank was above Rarity’s head. Muffled thuds resounded through the valley.

Applejack groaned as anger crept into her eyes. “Great. Now Ah know that my parents died and they couldn’t even save your life.”

Tears crept into Rarity’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Applejack. It seems I can’t do anything.”

“Spare me, Rares. Ah think we both know that it’d be best if you just let go.”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “No! We can still work something out.”

“It’s quicker this way. Trust me.”

Applejack descended even further until her hooves were on the last plank. “Let go!” she cried again.

“I’m sorry, Applejack, but I can’t.”

Applejack vented another frustrated groan. She kicked at Rarity’s right hoof grabbing the rope. Rarity retracted it with a yelp.

“Don’t do this, Applejack. Please don’t do this. This won’t bring back your parents.”

“Like Ah care. You have to let go.”

Rarity attempted to bring her hoof back to the rope. She was halfway there when Applejack delivered the final kick. Rarity yelled as cold air and rain passed her. Lightning flashed again as she looked up to see a deranged Applejack huffing with a satisfied expression on her face as she watched Rarity fall.

Soon, Rarity flew just like the rain. She closed her eyes.

Promise

From my rotting body, flowers shall grow
And I am in them and that is eternity.

-Edvard Munch

Crash.

‘I’m dead. I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead,’ Rarity thought. She could feel several things cutting into her before she came to a halt. Maybe they were rocks on the bottom of the valley.

She opened her eyes expecting to see the gates of heaven in front of her. Or hell. Seeing as how she caused all of this, she deserved no less.

The damp mountain wall faced her at an angle through thick branches. The rain was still falling. Rarity looked down to see a blanket of leaves on her. The branches had slowed her descent to a halt in the midst of its interlocking web. She glanced down through the branches to see that she was almost at the valley floor.

Rarity heard the sound of rocks tumbling down. They fell past her. She looked up to see an orange mare sliding down. Applejack slid to a halt at the base of the tree and immediately crouched down on it. She wrapped her legs around the tree to pull herself up the trunk. She eventually reached Rarity in the branches. Heaving herself over, she collapsed next to her with a gasp of relief. They lay there for a fragile moment on their dangerous perch.

“How did you know that this tree would be here?” Rarity asked.

“While you were busy pleading for your life, Ah looked down to see.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence, listening to the discordant sounds of the storm. Rarity cast a long look on Applejack’s face before abruptly glancing in the other direction. She groaned as she glanced at the various cuts that lathered her body.

“Well, no use stayin’ here,” Applejack said, getting up. “We gotta get to the valley floor.”

Rarity tried to get up, but fell back wincing. “I can’t. I think I sprained my hoof.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. With one quick swoop, she picked up Rarity as the leaves fluttered down to the ground. Rarity squeaked as Applejack draped her on her back. Climbing back down the trunk, Applejack leaped onto the wall again.

Applejack slid down the rough wall until they finally came to a halt at the valley floor. Taking a few steps away, Applejack lowered Rarity onto the ground. Satisfied, she glanced around the narrow valley until she saw her parents lying off to the left.

Rarity glanced up to see Applejack standing over the bodies. Grunting in pain, Rarity managed to pull herself up to stand. She hobbled over to Applejack.

“I’m sorry,” Rarity said, standing next to Applejack.

The bodies were contorted in a strange way. Their faces reflected the pain they must’ve felt mere moments before dying. Fresh tears streamed down Applejack’s face. She crouched down and placed a hoof on each of their foreheads for a moment before closing their eyelids. She took a breath as time seemed to freeze around her.

Applejack leapt onto Rarity. She wrestled Rarity until she pinned Rarity’s legs down with Rarity belly up. With a gasp, Applejack lifted herself up and shook as she looked into Rarity’s eyes.

“They’re dead because of you! Why didja’ have to do such a stupid thing jus’ for inspiration? My whole life is ruined ‘cuz of you!”

Applejack let out a tortured sob. Her eyes softened as she curled up in a ball on Rarity. Rarity hesitated before rubbing Applejack’s back and putting her face in her shoulder. She stroked Applejack’s mane soothingly.

“I must be beneath your contempt. My life is meaningless compared to your parents,” Rarity lamented.

Applejack lifted her head. “Ah didn’t mean that. Ah don’t know what came over me. It’s not your fault. It’s jus’…”

“Shh, I know darling. I know.”

“But you’ve never had this happen.”

Rarity looked up at the bleak, gray clouds. “Maybe I should disclose a secret. Promise never to tell anyone?”

Applejack glanced at the melancholic Rarity. “Ah promise.”

Rarity took a deep breath before saying, “My parents are actually dead.”

Applejack’s eyes widened. “But Ah saw your parents alive before. How are they dead?”

Rarity sighed. “Those are my foster parents. You see, my real parents died long ago right after Sweetie Belle was born.

“I barely knew them. I never even remembered their names because I was only a little filly. I never knew who they were. The only thing I ever remembered was when they left me with a caretaker. Mother pressed her smiling face into mine, telling me they’d be right back. She and Father looked so serene as they stared at me in the caretaker’s grasp.

“Before I knew it, Sweetie Belle and I were taken to a quiet building with fillies just like us: parentless. It was a pleasant place with plenty of ponies to talk to. I was never lonely or afraid but it wasn’t until I got older that I learned what had become of my parents.

“My parents had left for a vacation in Baltimare. They spent the time traveling from landmark to landmark for a week, being enthralled by the locales. It must’ve been a blissful time for them.

“One day, they decided to go canoeing in the Rambling Rock Ridge River. The river was particularly fierce that day. The current swept them off the designated area for canoes to the rapids. Ponies watched in vain as my parents were dashed on the rocks along with the canoe.

“I was sad for a few days before realizing that I hardly knew them. The orphanage managed to distract me from my depression for those days. In no time, my foster parents came to pick me and Sweetie Belle up and we were whisked the Ponyville. Sweetie Belle still doesn’t know about my parents; she assumes that our foster parents are our true ones. Neither I nor my foster parents had the heart to tell her the truth. So here we are, living happily in the boutique.”

Applejack looked away. “Ah’m sorry, Ah didn’t know,” she said.

“It’s fine; I don’t want pity from other ponies.” Rarity wiped a tear away.

“Ah just can’t believe that th-they’re gone.” Rarity noticed Applejack’s bloodshot eyes with small bags forming underneath them. She knew that this experience wasn’t going to be kind on Applejack. They held each other in silence

“Applejack,” Rarity whispered, “don’t you think we should go back to Ponyville? We can mourn them with your family. Plus, we don’t want to catch pneumonia.”

“Yeah,” Applejack said, wiping away her tears. “We best get them back too.”

Applejack unfurled herself and trembled as she got up along with Rarity. Together they trotted back to the bodies. Applejack noticed a familiar brown hat lying before them and picked it up with her teeth.

They reached the bodies to begin picking them up. Applejack grunted as she slung her father across her back while Rarity picked up Applejack’s mother with her magic. Applejack found the right balance for the body on her back and reverently lowered the hat onto his chest. They looked up and down the valley before starting off to the muddy road ahead. They trotted in fanfare of the rain.

“You do know that I’m forever in your debt,” Rarity mentioned after a few minutes, trying to act pleasant through the pain.

Applejack glanced at her before staring at the walls surrounding them. “It’s nothing. Ah wouldn’t want you to worry.”

“But there must be something I can do.”

Applejack sighed. “Jus’ don’t tell anypony else what happened. Ah don’t want ponies to blame you for their deaths. Jus’ say that we were traveling when they fell off. An’ don’t pity me for this. Pretend nothing happened between us.”

Rarity stared at Applejack for a long time before Applejack became uncomfortable. “Ah know it’s a lie but Ah don’t want you to get hated by ponies who blame you for their deaths. You’ll have to say it since Ah’m bad at lyin’.”

“Applejack, wouldn’t sending your parents off with a lie be unceremonious?”

Rarity bit her lip. She knew that had to hurt. Applejack gazed at the ground for a few seconds. “Ah jus’ don’t want you to get hurt. Believe me, it kills me to think of lyin’ again. But Ah don’t want their deaths to change how you live. Forever tainted by their deaths. Now stop talkin’ before Ah start getting second thoughts.”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Sometimes Applejack, I think you’re too virtuous.”

They kept trotting for a few hours. Soon, the mountain’s walls descended until they were out of the valley. They continued on as a forest surrounded them. There the animals’ sounds combined with the rain to complete the symphony. Shadows darted out of the corner of their eyes. Applejack continued looking forward, ignoring the pandemonium in the forest. Tears refused to come to her dry eyes again. Rarity alternated between glancing at her partner for a brief moment before peering off into the dark shadows.

As they reached the end of the forest, they saw Ponyville silhouetted in the night sky across the dancing river. Ponyville was entrenched in darkness. The town was like a ghost town drowning in the storm.

They stumbled their way across the bridge before coming to the outskirts of the town. Applejack lurched in the middle of the road before collapsing. She closed her eyes as she realized what an uncomfortable weight her father was.

Rarity fell to a knee in front of Applejack. “Come on, wake up Applejack. We’re almost there.” She pulled on Applejack’s hoof with a grunt.

Rarity continued dragging Applejack’s and Tremett’s body for a few feet before coming to a stop. Panting, she fell onto the ground. Honeycrisp landed on the ground next to her.

Lights flickered on in the nearby cottage. The door opened to reveal a white mare. She trotted outside and looked around. Her eyes came across the bodies. She yelled, “Everypony wake up! There are four unconscious ponies here!”

Lights flickered on in all of the cottages as ponies came out into the rain to look at the four ponies on the ground. Ponies began talking as eight ponies came up and picked the bodies up. They forged on through the rain toward the hospital. The angry storm continued its merciless onslaught.

Suffer

Blessed are the hearts that can bend;
They shall never be broken
-Albert Camus

Applejack fell. She went past stars, galaxies, universes. She heard in her head a voice saying, “Live as you die.”

The voice disappeared as she felt something warm licking her back. As she fell even faster, images of Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and her parents fell around her. Applejack looked down to see a flat gray surface grow bigger and bigger.

She hit the surface.

Applejack awoke with a gasp. She sat up, drawing up her blanket.

Her face drained of hope as soon as she saw where she was. Stark green walls leered at her while she glanced around her bed. She glanced to her right to see Rarity still sleeping next to her. Moonlight illuminated the door to her left from the window on the right wall.

Applejack stood up, noticing the hospital pajamas she was dressed in. She trotted before the window and stared out. Rolling hills and seas of grass lay serenely as wind whistled through the sky. The moon and stars adorned the desolate night. Minutes turned to hours as Applejack found solace with the pleasant scenery and her thoughts.

“Applejack?”

Rarity was upright, staring at the stoic mare. “Are you all right?” she asked.

“Ah’m fine, jus’ tired.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Applejack turned toward Rarity. Rarity was lathered in bandages from head to hoof. “No,” Applejack said.

They waited in silence. The clock ticked softly.

Applejack sighed. “Ah suppose Ah shouldn’t be this sad. My Grandpa died last year as well. Granny Smith was devastated. But Ah wasn’t that sad. Ah suppose it was ‘cuz Ah never knew him that much.”

Another pregnant silence passed. “Are we on the receiving end of cruel fate?” Rarity asked. “This loss of life can’t be a good omen.”

“No, it ain’t.”

“Applejack, I…never mind.” Rarity looked away.

Applejack glanced over at her curiously for a moment. “Yesterday was the best day of my life.” She looked down.

“Ah got up in the morning, expecting to do the same ol’ chores as usual with Ma. Ah come downstairs an’ Ma an’ Pa are just waiting there, as if they were expecting me. They told me to close my eyes. Then Pa took my hoof an’ we went outta the house. After a while, Ma an’ Pa told me to open my eyes.

“In front of me was the most gorgeous sight Ah ever laid my eyes upon. It was a tree house. The fact that my Pa set aside time for this jus’ for me…well Ah never loved him as much as Ah did at that point. Ah was thinking ‘bout having the place as a secret base. Then he told me that we were goin’ to Dodge tomorrow and he was bringing me for the first time.”

Applejack stared back at Rarity. “My Pa was never the family type since he always had to work. But that jus’ made the moments with him all the more special. Plus, Ah always admired him for his can-do spirit.

“Ma helped do the other farm work. She would get up at dawn with Pa to gather eggs, make breakfast, and do everything else. Ah helped her the most while Big Mac helped Pa buck them apple trees.

“It’s jus’ not fair. Ah had a perfect life. Ah don’t care if there are Gods above; Ah jus’ want them back.”

Rarity remained still. “To have a loved one torn away from your chest,” she said softly, “is the continuation of life. Our world perpetually moves. Being sad will never accomplish anything. Whether you move on or not is your decision.

“Life is a game. The dice must be thrown. Embrace life and live to the fullest. Sadness shackles you down in this prison. Life can slam you in the face in your weakest moments and it will do that for every chance. Dreams will be crushed and ideas may burn. But you are still you.”

Rarity let out a dry chuckle. “I used to say that every night before sleeping in the orphanage. I thought of them after a few days of learning about their deaths. I managed fine after that since I knew Sweetie Belle still relied on me.

“My philosophy is that you find the next step. Everyone takes small steps. It doesn’t matter what happens in your past. I find that it’s the journey that matters. Whenever I get tired or lost, I find that taking more steps can help. I never step back or hesitate. And if I think about my parents, I take a deep breath and move on.”

Rarity stared at the attentive Applejack. “Of course, that’s just me. These words might have little impact on you, but this is just my process.”

Applejack nodded slowly. “You’re a lot more thoughtful than Ah thought. Ah always thought that Ah was somehow below you. Ah work on an apple farm while you live in luxury. Ah never thought of fancy ponies being so philosophical.”

“Well, I am a thinker. I think even famous ponies must have their values and morals. Sometimes, ponies must have some moment of recollection before rushing off again. Knowing what you feel can make it easier on yourself.”

Applejack sighed. “Ah don’t know how Granny Smith and Big Mac are gonna react. Ah hope they won’t be too sad. How will we move on with this…hole in our lives? What will we tell Apple Bloom when she grows up?”

“You comfort them. Moving on will be just part of your life. Never forget your past, but never let it drag you down. Take up the legacy of the Apples. Become an independent pony. It’s hard but it’s necessary in order to carry on with life.”

Applejack stretched her forelegs out and gave a ponderous look at her hooves. “Ah don’t want to drown in my misery. But Ah can’t see how Ah can live now without them.”

“Learn to swim. Never lose yourself.”

Applejack heaved a sigh. She trotted back to her bed before collapsing on it. A few moments passed before Rarity heard the telltale rising and falling of Applejack’s chest matched by her huge breaths. Rarity continued sitting as the clock ticked. Rarity put her face in her hooves.

Applejack groaned as she heard a knocking sound. She glanced in front of her.

Nurse Redheart stood in front of her bed. She held a clipboard with a pencil. Applejack sat up and looked to her right to see Rarity stretching out on her bed with daylight streaming in, making the room appear suspended in time.

“Hello, I hope you guys are much better now,” Redheart said. “I’m terribly sorry for your loss, Applejack, I can’t see how Ponyville will go on without them. I just need to ask a few questions. First of all, do you know how they had their accident?” She stared straight at Applejack.

Applejack stared back, squirming under Redheart’s inquisitive gaze. She glanced away and almost answered before Rarity interrupted: “We were traveling along the cliff to Dodge Junction when they slipped off.” She said it without a break in her voice.

Applejack relaxed as Rarity answered all of Redheart’s questions with ease. At times, she cringed at Rarity’s answers but she held her tongue. All of the questions were about Applejack’s parents.

“Well, thanks for your cooperation,” Redheart concluded, “We’ll just have you fill out a few forms and you’ll be on your way. Once again, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Once Redheart left, Rarity slipped back under her blanket. Applejack stared at her for a second before getting up and trotting to the window. The day was as serene as the night.

Burdened

Bad things do happen;
How I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life.
I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss,
Or I can choose to rise from the pain
And treasure the most precious gift I have –
Life itself.
-Walter Anderson

“We’re gathered here today to remember the lives of two ponies and reflect on our own lives as well. These ponies contributed the most to Ponyville in their time. They were hard-working individuals who never shirked from duty. If there were ever a time where we needed their help, they would give their services to us. Ponies everywhere looked up to their hard-working example. On a daily basis, if I encounter a problem, I ask myself what they would do. Everypony standing here right now remembers how influential they were and how they changed our lives. They were essential to Ponyville and if we never had them, we would have undoubtedly crumbled.

“Now they have left us in the best possible shape. We are here to grieve over their deaths and to console their family. But this is also a new page into the future. We can choose to grieve for the rest of our days or we can learn to move on. They’ve helped us so much that we are forever in their debt. We can start contributing back to their memory if we continue on by doing what they’ve always wanted us to do: support Ponyville with our hard work.

“Today is a day of remembrance. Today we remember what it means to be a pony in this community. Today we remember that this community would never be possible without the Apple family. Today we remember all of our memories with them. Today we learn to live with ourselves knowing that the world will be much, much colder without them. Today we lay their bodies down and know that if there is an afterlife, they will definitely be there watching over us all. Today our meaning of life, death, and what is right or wrong is challenged.

“Today we’ll never be the same. Rest in peace, Tremlett and Honeycrisp.”

The crowd murmured as one, “Rest in peace.”

Applejack stood in front of the crowd accompanied by Granny Smith and Big Mac who was carrying Apple Bloom on his back. They opened their eyes again as Mayor Mare finished her speech before the podium. Behind her lay two wood coffins; the right one had a zap-apple carved in its middle while the left one had a simple tree carved into it. Beautiful white flowers arranged on the coffin reflected the emptiness Applejack felt.

Everypony else from Ponyville had taken the day off to mourn Tremlett and Honeycrisp. However, as Applejack noted, a certain white unicorn had neglected to come. Menacing storm clouds brewed overhead as if to threaten Applejack and her family by wiping them out too. If only rain could clear Applejack of the past. If only she could forget. If only Tremlett and Honeycrisp never existed to cause so much suffering…

Granny Smith nudged Applejack. Applejack shook out of her stupor to see everypony gazing expectantly at them. Her legs turned into jelly when she started to follow Granny Smith and Big Mac to the podium. Mayor Mare nodded encouragingly as she stood to the side of the podium. Time stood still for a few seconds for Applejack while she scanned the dolorous expressions evident on each pony’s face. Even Mayor Mare seemed distraught despite her normally organized demeanor. The wind sighed through the grass below-hoof with each gust feeling like a cold blade being thrust within her.

Applejack shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she walked slowly to the side of the podium. Granny Smith looked worriedly at Applejack for a second before clearing her throat behind the podium. Big Mac’s eyes were glossy as he stared into oblivion standing to the left of Applejack. Staring into the eyes of the ponies seemed almost serene for Applejack and she wondered what they were thinking when Granny Smith began.

“Ah’d like to begin by thanking y’all for comin’ out here. It’s been a rough patch for all of us and we hope we can keep goin’.

“Ah never thought...that Ah’d ever have to bury my own child,” Granny Smith continued as despair, sadness, depression, and bitterness clung onto every word. “Every apple must fall and we Apples know this best of all.”

Granny Smith glanced at Applejack to see her staring sullenly at her hooves. Heaving a small sigh, she turned back to the audience.

“My grandchildren have been sufferin’ most of all. It just ain’t right that we have lost our dearest loves. It doesn’t seem fair.”

Granny Smith paused for a minute to take a long ponderous gaze at the gathered ponies. “But it’s happened and Ah believe we can carry on. Our loss cannot be measured by words and all we can do is remember our sacrifice. Ah’ve asked myself over and over what Ah could’ve done to save their lives but in the end we can’t change the past. So let’s take small steps to the future. Let’s do what they would’ve wanted and carry on.

“But first a moment of silence.”

Everypony lowered their heads as their manes flew with the furious wind. The sky darkened but nopony seemed to notice the weather while they lost all sense of time to reconcile their thoughts. Tears streamed down a few ponys’ faces to plink onto the blades of grass. Applejack bit her lip stubbornly before her vision became clouded and her tears joined the silent rainfall of the gathered crowd. Granny Smith just closed her eyes and soundlessly spoke her last thoughts. Big Mac’s tears showered down yet he remained silent as if he bore the pain inside himself. Apple Bloom miraculously remained sleeping throughout all of this.

The clouds refused to rain down as if they were witnessing how the ponies emulated their job. Applejack looked up and swore a silent curse upon all the clouds that shared the same blood as the ones above the mountains that fateful day. The wind only howled in response.

All too soon, Mayor Mare cleared her throat and said, “This concludes our funeral ceremony. Honeycrisp and Tremlett will be immortalized forever as we lay them to rest in the earth. The rest of today will be a holiday so we can remember and hope. So thank you all for being here.”

Mayor Mare bit one of her roses she kept balanced on her back and put it reverently on Tremlett’s coffin before doing the same for Honeycrisp’s. Everypony followed suit as they shuffled up to the coffins and placed flowers of their own on the coffins. The ponies offered words of comfort to Granny Smith and her grandchildren as they passed the family. Applejack couldn’t hear any of it.

“Applejack?”

Applejack stared blankly at her lunch. It was her favorite - a hay sandwich with apple cider to accompany it. But as she watched, the color from the sandwich leaked out like paint. The white color of the bread, the brown color of the crust, and the yellow color of the hay mixed together in a dizzying mixture in a puddle on the table. In its place was a gray sandwich that lacked the grandeur of its past self. She looked at her cider and the same process happened to the mug. She peered at the surface of the foamy liquid to see its black-and-white appearance. She sighed.

“Applejack?”

Applejack finally looked up to see the worried gaze of Granny Smith. “Yes, Granny?”

“Ah...Ah was just worried for you.”

Applejack looked back to the table with a red checkered tarp to see the color return to her food. She glanced at Granny Smith’s plate to see that she was already done. Birds chirped joyfully under the bright day that had no traces of the storm clouds brewing in the morning. The apple trees looked perfect as ever as Applejack raked her surroundings. They were outside the house on this fine spring day enjoying the day from a vantage point that gave them complete view of Sweet Apple Acres. The day was lovely, almost too lovely.

Granny Smith cleared her throat. “Perhaps we should talk. Ah know you young fillies have a lot on your minds, especially after the funeral.”

Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “A lot on our minds?”

Granny Smith sighed. “AJ Ah know we ain’t exactly...close. Please, Ah just want to know what you’re thinking now.”

Applejack’s eyes were vacant. “What Ah’m thinking…”

“Ah know you must be taking this hard. It’s not your fault, it ain’t Rarity’s fault. You can’t reverse the past and Ah’m fine just the way things are now.”

Applejack’s nostrils flared. She saw red for a moment as she looked directly at Granny Smith’s face. “How can you say that? How can you be so calm? Why do all adults say everything will be fine? How can Ah know that for sure?”

Granny Smith looked resigned. “Us adults always say that...’cause nothing is ever fine.” Tears leaked out of the corners of Granny Smith’s eyes.

Applejack stared frozen with her mouth half open. Big Mac sat stock-still, eyes darting between Applejack and Granny Smith. Time stood still twice that day and everything seemed to be crashing down around Applejack. The line between reality and fiction was blurred. A fly buzzed its way down onto the table and crawled around for a moment before buzzing back off. Yet nothing else seemed to move besides that fly. Nothing besides Granny Smith.

Granny Smith wiped her eyes. “You think Ah seem to have all the answers, AJ? You think Ah am just fine with this?” A fresh torrent cascaded down her cheeks amidst her sniffing. “Ah’ve spent my entire life wishing it were over. Why must Ah live and suffer? All my life Ah’ve been throwing on a brave face but Ah seem to be the most broken inside.”

Applejack glanced awkwardly at Big Mac. Their eyes looked just as bewildered as they felt. Applejack looked slowly toward Granny Smith who stared vacantly into the apple trees, seemingly oblivious to the tears dripping down her face. Applejack got up and cautiously went to Granny Smith’s side to put a leg around her as she sat down. Granny Smith sniffed again and rested her forehoof on Applejack’s.

“Ah’ve hated myself for a long time, AJ,” Granny Smith spoke with a steadier voice. “My grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, my parents, my husband, my brothers, my sisters, and now my children. Ah’ve lived too long. Everything that Ah’ve done for Ponyville can’t help me now. What will happen next, AJ? Will Ah lose you and Big Mac next?”

Granny Smith turned around to face Applejack as Applejack lowered her leg. Applejack was relieved to see Granny Smith had stopped crying. “Ah suppose Ah shouldn’t complain. Ah was much older when Ah learned the pain of loss. Lemme tell y’all that it never gets easier. When my world came crashing down around me and everypony Ah loved was gone, Ah thought Ah had nothing to lose. Ah thought everything would go all right eventually.

“So AJ, when them big ponies say everything’s fine, they don’t know what they’re talking ‘bout. They’ve either never felt the pain, become numb, or have forgotten how much it hurts. They never tell you that you’ll never forget ‘bout it and how dreams turn to nightmares and how you wake up to be so tired and sad. They tell you to move on like Ah did. Funny thing is that even Ah don’t know what Ah’m talking ‘bout. But in the end we’re still together and that’s all that matters. Let’s...try to hold on to that. Please.”
Applejack stared back at Granny Smith’s earnest gaze. Worry was etched on Applejack’s face yet she seemed at peace at the same time. “Thanks Granny,” she said softly, “Thanks for telling me the truth.” Applejack spontaneously gave Granny Smith a hug. Granny Smith returned the embrace and together they shared their pain. Big Mac heaved a sigh of relief. Somehow, some way, everything was going to be all right.

Flawed Gem

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels,
Simply by pouring out love.
Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.
-Sai Baba

The bell above the door jingled softly.

Rarity opened her eyes. The soft velvet canopy yawned above her. She stared blankly at the canopy as she waited for her vision to become clearer. Groaning, she rolled onto her stomach before using her magic to remove her night cap. She smacked her lips a few times before craning her head to peer at the clock on her bedside table. 1: 25 pm.

“Rarity?”

Rarity perked up at Applejack’s voice. Her eyes scanned frantically around the room. Random scraps of cloth and materials scattered the floor. Manneponies were toppled over and Opalescence’s claw marks were apparent on the curtains. Her desk itself had a multitude of unfinished dresses and clothes piled upon the sewing machine. The shelf next to it had collapsed with spools of yarn and rolls of felt lying in its wake.

Rarity hurriedly picked up a hoof mirror on the dresser next to her bed with her magic. She grimaced as she saw her disheveled hair forming a ghost of Rarity’s signature mane and atrocious face blemished with the decaying makeup. She swiftly levitated a comb lying on the ground and brushed her mane quickly before dabbing at her face with makeup brushes. Leaping out of bed, she used her magic to upright the manneponies and the shelf before stuffing every scrap and trash on the floor under her bed. Straining a bit with her magic, she uprighted the shelf before stuffing the dresses underneath the desk. Scanning the room again, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Applejack trotted promptly up the stairs and into the room. “There you are. Ah was worried about you,” Applejack said, worry etched on her face. She glanced around the room apprehensively.

“Oh hi, Applejack. I’ve been quite all right,” Rarity said, a smile stretched tightly across her face, “I’ve just been busy. You know.” Rarity laughed awkwardly and threw a hoof. “Anyways, was there something you wanted from me?”

“You didn’t show up at the funeral this morning,” Applejack said bluntly.

Rarity opened her mouth before freezing as her face flushed crimson red. “Well, I, uh...I’ve been very secluded from the outside. I can’t believe I forgot it!” Rarity exclaimed as she faked surprise.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “You know Rares, being a filly who means every word she says means Ah know when others are lying.”

Rarity sighed. “I suppose I can’t keep up this farce though I don’t know why every other pony is so adamant on keeping this up. Why did you come here?”

Applejack glanced around nervously. “Ah’ve seen that you’ve been living...like a slob. Ah can’t see you do this to yourself, Rares.” Rarity bit her lip and studied the floor. “Ah realize that what happened wasn’t your fault and Ah’m glad that you’re still alive. My Ma and Pa did what was right.”

“I know, I’m just...a coward, Applejack.” Rarity looked up into Applejack’s eyes. “I’ve been running away for my entire life. Yet I can’t shake my feeling of perpetual gloom. I’ve been so petty yet I still don’t know what I should do now.”

“Ah’ll say it again Rares, you didn’t kill them. You need to stop holding in your guilt. Ah know Ah should hate you but nothing will come of it. Everypony’s worried for you. It ain’t good for you to be cooped up in here.” Applejack’s earnest gaze felt almost like spears embedding themselves into Rarity’s eyes.

Rarity looked toward the ground as tears brimmed her view. “I can’t move on. I can’t even follow my own advice.” Rarity let out a dry chuckle before looking back at Applejack. “I’m such a weak pony. I don’t even know why you’re trying to comfort me. I shouldn’t be nearly as sad as you right now.”

Applejack stared sympathetically at Rarity before putting a hoof on her shoulder. “Ah’ve been thinking about what you said at the hospital. Ah’m still torn up and Ah don’t know if my life will ever return to normal. Ah think in the end it doesn’t matter ‘cause Ah just knew that you were the type of pony who would be more torn up and Ah couldn’t bear let that happen.”

Rarity shuddered a little as she felt a warm feeling sweep over her entire body. Tears streamed down her face again yet she managed to make a weak smile. She couldn’t help but feel so joyous when a pony who barely knew about her actually cared for her.

“Thanks, Applejack.”

Applejack glanced around the room again. “Have you told Sweetie Belle?”

Rarity shook her head. “It’s for the best, I guess,” Applejack said. For a brief moment, a look of uncertainty flickered across her face as she stared blankly at the wall.

Now it was Rarity’s turn to put a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Applejack. You don’t have to do this. I’m fine with taking the blame.”

Applejack shook her head. “Ah can’t let that happen. Ah don’t want you to get hurt. T’aint right that you be forced to stay in this boutique ‘cause of them.”

Rarity nodded absently as she stared at her hooves. “Um...Applejack,” she said timidly after a moment of silence, hardly daring to look up at the other filly. “Do you think we can be friends?”

Rarity closed her eyes, bracing herself for the inevitable rejection. She timidly opened one eye to see Applejack drawing her in for a hug. “Ah thought that went without saying. We’re here for each other whether we like it or not.”

Rarity smiled and breathed what felt like the first true breath in weeks. She hugged Applejack back, embraced the first chance for companionship she’s had in years. Yet she feared to let Applejack go since she was scared. Scared of the moment she would face the world in a new light. Scared of facing who she was again. Scared of how badly things could go.

But pull back she did as she held Applejack at the shoulders. For some reason, she felt calm. “I think I’m fine now, Applejack. Thanks for everything.”

Applejack smiled. “Don’t worry, Rares, Ah’ll be there for you through thick and thin whether you like it or not.” She winked at Rarity before turning around and starting down the stairs.

“Oh, and Applejack?” Applejack stopped and turned.

“Yeah, sugarcube?”

“I’m sorry for not showing up.”

Applejack smiled reassuringly. “It’s quite all right.” She resumed descending the stairs.

Rarity levitated the hoof mirror in front of her again. Staring deep into the mirror, she grinned at her reflection. Bursts of giggles erupted out of her until she abruptly put a hoof over her mouth as she glanced down the stairs. Hearing the familiar, tinkle of the bell above her door, she began snorting with gales of laughter until tears came down her cheeks. Looking back to her mirror, she gazed confidently at herself and lay the mirror back down beside her bed.

Rarity trotted down the stairs with an air of elegance. “Sweetie Belle, I’m off now. Take care!” She opened the door with her magic and continued on to the center of Ponyville.

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief as she observed Rarity in her hiding spot amongst the front bushes. Leaning against the wall of the boutique, she stared at her hooves. After gazing plaintively at her hooves for a while, she proceeded to bang her the back of her head against the wall several times. Tears started streaming down her face as she lay defeated.

To the Trappings of Glamour

When we are no longer able to change a situation -
We are challenged to change ourselves.
-Viktor E. Frankl

“So you’ve decided to go to where now?”

“Manehatten, where the rich ponies go!”

Rarity turned around to face Applejack with her mouth slightly open. “You’re telling me that you’re going to the Manehatten? The place that only every single fashion designer goes to? The city of dreams and love? Of glamour and style and pizzazz? Why would you want to go?”

“Ah want a change of pace,” Applejack said with a satisfied smile.

Rarity sighed. She turned back to her sewing machine and continued whittling away at her current work. Applejack sat on Rarity’s bed staring vacantly around the room.

“Darling, I just can’t see you living in Manehatten for the rest of your life. What will Granny Smith and Big Mac do without you? Your family loves you way too much to let you go. And where will you stay? What will you do?”

Applejack just grinned even more. “Ah’ve already worked it out with Big Mac and Granny. Ah think they said they’d miss me but believed that Ah needed some change in my life. Ah’ll just stay with my Aunt and Uncle Orange and hopefully Ah can find what my cutie mark will be. An’ Ah know that this is a huge change but Ah really want to see the world for my own eyes. It’s like what you said that day, Ah want some inspiration. Ah’m ready for whatever the world throws at me.”

“But Applejack, Manehatten’s a big place. And the Apple family hasn’t really been know for...well, branching out into the business sector. Even though I want to be a designer, I still think Manehatten is a little too hectic.”

“Sure,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes. “What’re you working on, anyways?”

“The school wants me to make stupid costumes for the next play. I can’t believe they think that they can just squander my abilities with cake and hay costumes. What’s more is that this material is particularly finicky. Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Manehatten. I can’t believe you’d think this would be a good idea.”

Applejack sighed. “Rares, Ah appreciate all your support but Ah think this is just something Ah’ve gotta do. You know how Ah said that Ah always tell the truth?”

Rarity stopped working on the costume. Applejack gazed sadly at her friend. “Well truth be told Ah’m still sad. Ah’m still tired. Ah’m still torn up. Ah said before that Ah was fine but sometimes Ah feel like Ah’m more lost than I was before. Ah keep thinking things are back to normal. Big Mac and Granny seem to love me all the more and Ah love them too. Ah love Sweet Apple Acres and yet Ah also have a nagging fear that Ah will be stuck like Ma and Pa were. And maybe they were happy. Maybe Ah have nothing to worry about. Maybe Ah’m just being foolish. But Ah can’t see myself taking over the farm...it just doesn’t feel right. Ah don’t think Ah’m the pony who can actually carry the Apple legacy. Ah’m only Applejack. Ah just can’t do it.” Tears sprouted in the corners of Applejack’s eyes.

Rarity paused for a moment before turning to face Applejack again. “Applejack dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize your hardship.”

“It’s fine, Rares,” Applejack said as she brushed away the tears brusquely with her hoof. “It’s been something Ah’ve been thinking about for a long time.”

Rarity stared at Applejack for a moment in silence. Rarity got up from her table and trotted to the bed to sit next to Applejack on the bed. “Darling, I think that it’s your decision to make in the end. No matter what I said I’ll still be here to support you. You know what you said to me right? We’re here for each other through thick and thin whether we like it or not.”

Applejack smiled. “Thanks, Rares. Ah don’t think Ah’d know what to do without you.” Applejack reached over to hug Rarity. Rarity returned the hug as Applejack buried her face in Rarity’s soft purple mane. It was that moment again where Rarity relished in the friendship the two shared for each other.

They pulled back and smiled at each other. “Ah’m so sorry, Rares. Ah come in here and Ah just talk about my problems and expect you to help me.” Applejack looked abashedly at her hooves. “It’s just...been frustrating.”

“I know, Applejack. I was in your place too not that long ago. I think that we, as fillies, are too upset and tired to deal with this. We never think that life would be as short as it is and we think the world will stay the same as we know it.”

Rarity solemnly stared at Applejack’s eyes and reflected on how her eyes looked so emerald green and yet so…pale. Averting her gaze, Rarity chose to gaze on the soft velvet blankets underneath her. How could she have wallowed in her blankets all this time with her friend so empty? It seemed like eternities since Applejack comforted her that even the clocks couldn’t record and the world as she knew it was already unraveled entirely.

Rarity glanced hesitantly at Applejack. “So, how’s the farm life been?” she asked in a casual tone.

“Ah...Ah guess it’s alright. Ain’t like Big Mac or Granny are that hard on me these days. Ah just do my work and it’s fine.” Applejack gave a shrug. “Why do you ask?”

Rarity looked closely at Applejack. “Sweetie, I’ve seen you working harder than ever. You’ve been out there from dawn ‘til dusk working like a mad mare. For somepony ready to embrace her dreams in the big city, you seem to be reluctant to leave your home.”

“Yeah well, Ah…you know.” Applejack brushed a stray strand of hair. “It’s like Ah’m trying to find something about myself.” She pursed her lips. “And Ah’ve also thought that maybe Ah wouldn’t have to go alone and you might come with me. You know. To the city.”

Rarity gasped. “M-me? Go to the city with you? Darling, I...I -”

“-Ah know. You don’t want to go with an uncouth pony like me to the place of your dreams. Ah shouldn’t have asked.” Applejack stared sullenly at the wall.

Rarity flushed. “I didn’t mean it that way.” She silently cursed at herself and her oblivious state. How could she have been so naive as to think that she could remain Applejack’s friend when she would be so far away? “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not such a great friend when I can’t even figure out why you were here in the first place. I really just can’t but I’m sure we could be pen pals or...or…” Rarity’s eyes darted away from her friend.

“Or what?”

The question hung there in an awkward silence. “Applejack, I...I don’t know anymore,” Rarity admitted.

“Ah guess I should say that Ah’m sorry too. Ah never wanted to put you in this position. But now Ah gotta take my first steps with or without somepony to help me. Don’t worry about me, sugarcube, Ah’ll just tough it out on my own.” Applejack stood up and gave Rarity a long sad look before heading for the door.

Rarity sat there, dumbfounded, for a few seconds. “AJ, please wait.” Applejack paused at the door and slowly turned around. Rarity looked up at her with tears shining down her face. “You’re the only friend I have now. And I’m so, so sorry but I just can’t come with you. Can’t you just...stay? With me?” Rarity held Applejack’s eyes for a long while.

Applejack lingered. She scanned the room, taking in the subtle smell of tulips, the organized chaos of the workshop with its numerous projects, and the soft snoring of precious little Sweetie Belle downstairs. She looked outside and saw the hundreds of lush acres of the Sweet Apple Acres spread out and thought about Granny Smith’s kind yet troubled nature, Big Mac’s demure attitude following the incident, and young Applebloom’s darling face. She thought of the promise she made to her parents promising that she would take the reins of the household and take care of Applebloom. She thought most of all about Rarity and her gorgeous mane and how she would comfort her in times of need.

Applejack broke into tears again. “Ah’m so sorry,” she whispered before dashing out of the room.

Rarity stared at her friend exit the room. The cold, empty room. She tried breathing but found that the air only constricted her lungs. Suddenly, every corner of the room drew into a claustrophobic state. The walls became mirrors. She gazed at herself in the wall and saw only an old mare. Wrinkles stretched across her white surface like canyons and her eyes were...dead. She could hear Sweetie Belle crying downstairs before those cries were replaced with shrieks. She tried to get up but fell and as she sprawled on the ground, she saw the faces. Those faces of Tremlett and Honeycrisp.
And those words kept ringing in her ears, just saying “Ah’m so sorry” over and over until she could not remember her past, her name, her sister. Accompanied by dull pounding. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, like a train, a freight train, hoping to go where that orange mare went. A hoof flashed, perhaps her own, attacking the ground, only that was mirror too. A chuckle? No, it couldn’t be. Too fast, too deep, too much, too, too, too. Rain thrums against cheek. One, two, three, five, ten. Drips like drum beats constant rhythm. And on, and on, and on. Stop it. Stop that…that noise. Smoke rises. Red, orange colors lick. All smoke, can’t breathe. Too fast, too deep, too much. See burning. See black edge. Make it stop. And. Only orange. Only green. Only yellow. Only friend now. Here.

Rarity lay motionless on the floor. Sweetie Belle cried softly from the other room.

“Now AJ, are you really sure you wanna go?”

Applejack looked back. Back again at Granny and Big Mac. Back at the seductive acres.

Applejack nodded. “Ah’m sure. Ah’ve got to or else Ah won’t know what Ah’m doing. Y’all need to stop worrying and Ah’ll...Ah’ll be fine.”

“Okay, then,” Granny said worriedly. “Aunt and Uncle Orange are there. Ah told them not to give you all that city mumbo jumbo nonsense so hopefully you’ll think of us at home. Jus’ remember-”

“-Ah know, Ah know. Send a letter to y’all when the rooster crows every week. Don’t worry so much, Granny, Ah know what Ah’m doing. Ah’m an Apple to the core.”

“Ah sure hope so,” Granny muttered. “Seems wrong that Ah gotta say goodbye to another Apple. You take care of yourself now, young’un.”

Applejack felt a twinge of pain resonate through her body. Shrugging it off, she turned around again to face the long winding road in front of her. Heaving a sigh, she shifted her bindle on her shoulder and trudged a few steps.

“AJ?” Big Mac called.

Applejack turned, annoyed. “What is it now?”

“Ah… Ah’ll miss you, little sis.” Tears welled in his eyes.

Applejack bit her lip. “Ah’ll miss you too. Take care of Applebloom for me. Ah’ll...Ah’ll miss y’all. Goodbye. Ah’ll come home for a visit if Ah can.”

Applejack turned around. She couldn’t face the teary faces of Granny and Big Mac any longer. As she trotted slowly down the road, the tears flew down. She buried her head down and tried to rub away the tears but they kept coming like a waterfall. She cursed herself. She picked up her pace until the brisk trot became a gallop. Down the road. Down to the train station. Down where only the eyes of strangers could look twice at her. And she knew deep down that something was wrong. If this were supposed to be a grand adventure, why did she feel so lonely?

Ponies faded in and out of her blurred vision at the station. And there was Rarity. And there were mother and father. And there were Rarity’s parents, her real parents. Applejack called out. The faces in the crowd didn’t respond. Instead, like everything, they slipped away into oblivion, just like the other ponies. And Applejack realized that they were meant to go. As they went, they took away her fear, her doubts, and her despair. All that was left was something better. And redemption for the future. Redemption for...the past.

The whistle hissed violently over the churning of the wheels chugging swiftly into the station. A loud skidding sound reverberated through the entire station as the train flew into view. Applejack watched the windows flying past her slow down abruptly to a stop. The clock’s bell above the train station rang out six times in a melancholic tone. The golden sun peeked over the top of the train, glistening gloriously with the final orange and red rays of sunlight hitting Applejack’s face. Applejack looked straight at the sun and then looked past Canterlot’s mountain. She glanced at the land where the sun didn’t shine quite so bright as Sweet Apple Acres. Rubbing the final tears from her face, she took a deep breath and took in her surroundings. The steam coming from the top of the train. The excited apprehension apparent in the ponies around her. The conductor’s loud voice when he swung out of the train’s cabin and yelled, “All aboard for Manehatten!” The land of Ponyville drenched in the warmth of the sun. The grass behind the station waving goodbye. Was she ready yet? Would she ever be ready?

Applejack waited in line to one of the train’s compartment. After shifting her weight for a few minutes as the line crept forward, she came up to the ticket collector, a brown unicorn stallion with a cap as a cutie mark.

“Well, well, well,” he said, “who do we have here? L’il miss, are you going by yourself? Where are your parents?”

Applejack stared sullenly at the ground before dropping her bindle stick. Rummaging through her pack for a few seconds, she pulled out her golden ticket and stuck it out towards the stallion with her teeth. The stallion’s eyes passed over her angry face for a few seconds before receiving the ticket using his magic. His face melted into one of sympathy.

“Miss, I apologize. The name’s Adon. I just want you to know that I’ve been working in Manehatten for half my life. If you ever want my help around those joints, just holla for me around the Fifth Street. And don’t worry, you’ll find Manehatten is a great place. Also, I work at the post office down at Seventh Street. Drop by there too if you wanna drop a letter. I just hope you don’t feel too mad at me and my big mouth.”

Applejack rubbed her chin. “Adon, huh? Thanks, but Ah think Ah’ll be fine. Ah guess Ah better say that Ah’m sorry too for bothering you so much.”

Adon chuckled in his light tenor tone. “No bother at all. Just pains me to see a pony in trouble. Remember, swing by me if you need help. Oh, and have a good time in Manehatten.”

Applejack smiled. “Ah will. Don’t you worry nothin’.”

Applejack stepped into the compartment and proceeded to the opposite bench where she stared outside. Adon looked wondrously at her for a few seconds before shaking his head and collecting more tickets from the ponies still in the line. By the time all the ponies had settled onto the train, the sun disappeared beneath the horizon. And Applejack was staring right at the inky sky when the first two stars appeared in the night. One by one, the stars began to sprout in the soft night while the moon soon replaced the sun. Applejack barely noticed when the train’s whistle hissed again, when the conductor called out again for any straddlers, when the coal began to fizzle in the engine, and when the wheels began to chug for the long route. All that remained for Applejack were the gloriously brilliant moon and the stars that seemed to tell her something. Like mischievous little sprites, they taunted her. They told her about the long, long, long, long road ahead.