Spike had finished waving goodbye to Fluttershy after agreeing to watch Angel for the day while her and the rest of the elements of harmony went to watch her compete in "The Quiet Game" championships in Vanhoofer and weren't set to comeback no later than 4:30 that evening.
The only thing he really had to keep an eye on was a certain white rodent.
One would think that after the events that occurred several months ago that the bunny he was asked to pet sit would be a little more tolerable. Well, you'd be dead wrong. The bunny fell back into his sociopathic behavior in the same way a heroin addict has relapses. Angel's main reason mostly because if he couldn't mistreat his owner, he was going to take his aggression out on somebody else.
The day started off promisingly enough, Spike placed fish out for the otters and other marine mammals that lived on Fluttershy's property. Sure, the dragon tripped while carrying a bag of dog food and heard laughing, but being a rational creature, he shrugged it off as a lighthearted prank. The next task of performing the butterfly consensus went by without incident. Later he did get covered in honey, the odd thing there wasn't a bee hive in sight and again he shrugged it off, that was until the bears got scent of the dragon. Fleeing from the pack of grizzlies and with no other option in sight, Spike jumped into the nearby pig pen and sank into the mud.
When Spike finally got out looking like something out of a B-grade horror movie, all he saw was the bunny rolling over in laughter.
The dragon ground his teeth and looked at the trouble maker with anger. "Angel..."
If he was as smart as he pretended to be, Angel would have stopped right there and apologized to his temporary guardian because first and foremost dragons are beings of pride.
Spike trudged into to cottage and up the stairs and into the shower. Even as a relaxing slower to get the mud off, didn't go without a hitch as unbeknownst to him, a certain bunny started to fiddle with the sink with a look of malice on his face.
"COLD!!!" The reptile’s eyes shot open as he was scrubbing his head spines, causing a fair amount of shampoo to get in his eyes. Grabbing a towel, he raced down stairs towards the kitchen sink to find the culprit sitting on top of the counter smiling while munching on a bag of baby carrots.
The red eyed seething dragon glared at Angel. To which his nemesis responded with a nonchalant smug grin before taking a carrot and flicking it at Spike's forehead.
"Why you little..." The dragon's hands suddenly found their way to the neck of the bunny and tightened, tighter and tighter and with an almost silent crack the body went limp.
It only registered about half a minute later to him that he had accidentally murdered one: Angel Alfonzo Bunny. "Oh, shit."
Panicking the young dragon paced around the room. "Quick, I just killed Fluttershy's obnoxious pet. What do I do, she's gonna be so upset when she finds out."
Suddenly a miniature version of Spike wearing a devil costume appeared on his left shoulder. "You mean if, she finds out."
"Yeah, if is good."
"Now, stop right there criminal scum." As one would expect Spike's good conscience manifestation appeared clad in gold and white with angel wings and a halo.
"Oh, piss off." The evil side sneered.
The angel ignored his counterpart. "Spike, Fluttershy should be told the truth."
"Yeah and she could tell Twilight and she'll never be your friend again."
"OR, she’ll respect your honesty and forgive you."
"Spike, Boobala, that bunny was a complete turd. It won't be missed by ninety nine point nine percent of the town."
"Please Spike, If you listen to him, you'll hate yourself forev--"
Spike's evil side interrupted the side of reason by stabbing him the face with his pitchfork.
"Finally, I thought that 'mo would never shut the f**k up."
Spike looked at the dead good conscious representative and back to the blood covered bad representative."Umm..."
"Him?"
The dragon nodded.
"Don't worry about him, he'll be as right as rain in a few days when you start worrying about trying to save your scaly ass after you screw up again. Now what you should worry about is how to get rid of the body."
"Okay, um...how do we do that?"
The evil side of his persona face palmed. "Were you always this stupid or is it just me?" He looked over to see that Spike was about to answer his rhetorical question. "Don't answer that, you are me, therefore it's your problem. I mean, I'm just your negative emotions manifested into a physical being. I'm not actually here and before you ask yes, you are talking to yourself and yes, you have lost it."
With those last discouraging remarks, his conscience disappeared into a puff of green smoke and Spike looked down to see that he was still holding the limp body of Angel Bunny. Shaking his head to regain some composure he glanced at the cuckoo clock on the wall and...
"Holy crap, it's almost four, the girls will be back in any minute now."
(Alternative Ending: A)
(Alternative Ending: B)
Spike felt terrible about what happened, sure he and everyone else hated the bunny, but Shy loved him.
"I need to get this thing out of the house before any of the other animals find out about what I did to Angel." The drake said to himself.
Just as he made his way outside, he noticed Fluttershy coming up the path to her home. "Oh, crap! Um..."
As if Celestia or whoever the dragons worshiped heard his prayers, a hawk (the very same one who lost the pet competition) a few miles away had caught scent of the dead rodent and dive bombed the limp body of Angel.
"Hey, Spike I hope Angel didn't give you a hard time today." The yellow mare called out to Spike, completely oblivious that he was holding the dead body of her pet.
"Um..." He was in deep trouble and to prepare himself mentally, he closed his eyes and hoped that she would at least faint before screaming. Just as he was about to continue to berate his actions, he was interrupted by a gust of wind.
*Shwoooosh*
Spike looked up to see a bird of prey darting off into the sky with Angel's corpse in her talons. He still felt some kind of weight in his claws and looked down to realize that he was holding the gory remains of the bunny's front paws.
Fluttershy was in complete shock over what happened and slumped down on the ground. "Um...uh...um...A-angel..."
As one would imagine the butter yellow mare cried and crawled into the fetal position.
"Hey, Shy, do you need a hand with anything else?" Fluttershy looked up at Spike, who forgot that he was still holding Angel's bloody limbs.
This only made her continue to cry harder.
"Oops."
Thus Spike had been saved by the power of two lucky rabbit's feet. As for Fluttershy, she eventually got over it and found herself a new pet in the form of that one flying squirrel that used to live in the tree adjacent to her cottage.
The End
It dawned on the drake, the perfect solution to his problem. He took Angel's paws and placed them around his own neck.
After that Spike went to where Fluttershy kept her stationary and quills and forged a suicide note and left it under Angel. His final act was to go outside and feed the other animals so that he would have a great alibi.
It's not like the other critters cared about Angel anyway, so they complied with the dragon's story.
As he predicted his butterfly marked friend came into the house and let out a loud scream, well...loud for her.
"EEP!!!"
The drake came into the kitchen to find the mare hovering over the bunny.
"Spike, it's terrible, I'm terrible. I didn't even know he had a problem, he always looked so happy."
He wrapped his friend in a comforting hug. "It's gonna be okay, some things can't be helped." He grabbed a tissue and handed it to the crying pony. "Here dry those tears, and I'll take care of this and then I'll go make us some tea, alright?”
Fluttershy gave him a sad nod and went to the couch in her living while Spike room while Spike put Angel's body in a garbage bag and started to boil a kettle of water.
The note read:
Dear, Fluttershy
I could take it anymore: the constant attention and knowing that I will never be able to play the trumpet with these tiny paws and so I have decided to snap my own neck. Good bye cruel world.
Also don't perform an autopsy on me, please respect my final wishes.
The End
Spike left the bunny in kitchen and when outside to go find a shovel so that he could dispose of the body. He was only a few meters from the tool shed, when he heard faint sound coming from the Everfree forest. It sounded like somepony talking only they seemed to replace their R's with W's.
Locating the sound of the voice was a shock for the young dragon as for what he saw was an odd creature lurking in the forest carrying a large metal tube with some wood attached to it.
"Be vewy, vewy quite; I'm hunting wabbits."
Spike's ear fins perked up at the last word and he approached the stranger. "Hey, Mister."
The bald bipedal ape-like thing looked down at the dragon. "Yes?"
"I heard you saw something about rabbits, would a bunny work?"
"It would and I would even have some time to go duck hunting."
"Great! I'll be right back!"
Spike returned with the still fresh corpse and handed it to the hunter.
Elmer Fudd took Angel from Spike before he disappeared into the forest.
"Now all I got to do is forge a note from Angel to Fluttershy and I'm in the clear."
Later, Spike told the news to the pegasus, who was naturally devastated, but accepted it. She hoped that he would come back one day.
The note read:
Dear, Fluttershy
I am leaving to achieve my dreams of becoming a professional shark wrangler. Please, don't look for me.
Love, Angel
As for Elmer Fudd?
He got worms from eating a poorly prepared Angel and had to go to the hospital, but he could only blame himself. So yeah, that happened.
The End
